up. i'll see you next saturday from jerusalem. [video] why does he have to be short? . greg: so why does he have to be short? [cheers & applause] all right, all right, all right. stop it. the world is looking good. north korea is calming down. no isis. unemployment at its lowest in ages. trump had a great meeting with

that nigerian guy. i think he wrote me a long e-mail once. sent him 10 grand, never heard from him again. wonder what happened. while the world improves, the media focusing on the worst. the "the new york times" ran an article entitled "happy 200th birthday, karl marx. you were right ." but what a strange thing to say. i guess the tribute to johns wilkes boothe wasn't ready yet. but as the writer glorifies the dead com comie, we believe the s didn't go far enough so we created a real salute. >> happy birthday karl marx. right up there with the yuna

bomber. in fact it was such an awesome idea that a bunch of countries tried it, like lennon's soviet union features mass imprisonment. castro's cuba features animal farm equipment. and venezuela, toilet paper lines for days. and a bunch of countries that don't exist anymore. and there's even communist nations around today like north korea but they won't admit it because it's so successful they don't want to rub it in the rest of the world's face. happy 200 birthday, bro. greg: well done. so we just whipped that together. so as the world enters an

optimistic age, the media still chases words and not deeds. the latest freak out, what trump said about what giuliani said about, you guessed it, stormy. >> it was staggering. >> very confusing. >> it is asphonnishing. >> disgraceful. >> astonishing. >> stunning. >> that was a disaster. >> other members of the legal term are freaking out. greg: what's wrong with these people? they're like kids who ate all of their halloween candy in one night. they're overloaded. they're going to end up with a dto, donald trump overdose. cnn has had stormy's lawyer on 60 times in three months. he gets more air time that pollen. >> you got to stop interrupting me. >> the coverup is the con.

>> whoever the attorney is who wrote those two tweets is an absolute moron. >> no doubt he's going to flip diswhr yo.>> you can put lipstie pig morning, noon and night but it's still going to be a pig. >> i'm stunned. still stunned this morning. greg: every day he's speechless which is weird because he never shuts up. how is that possible. but fair play to him. he's got cnn in his back pocket and he won't stop farting. i thought about taking that out. now remember when it was all about collusion. but now even msnbc has doubts. that is great. >> as for the mueller investigation, i, i am very, as an american, a citizen, i'm fascinated to know what he finds. i'm not, i'm not so sure that he's going to find the smoking gun of coordination or

collusion. greg: oh my god. msnbc not sure about collusion? that's like michael moore not sure about pie. he likes pie. can't change his mind on pie. so it's stormy this and stormy that from people who used to say who cares, it's only sex. the lesson, if you lose an election, why not sue afterwards. it's the political equivalent of tonya harding taking out nancy kerrigan. and the media and the dems are sean ebbinsean eckert. the echo is impoach. there are no democratic ideas to counter trump's successes. i mean how do the democrats top ending the north korea nuclear threat. what would be their issues?

free health care for ms-13? horses should be able to marry sheep? i'm for that actually. love is love. all right. and so in a sprint trump made the world better for 7.6 billion people and the question playing the media's brain, did a rich billionaire playboy lie about sex. i think i can save them a year of programming time and say, yes. next question, does america care? no. see, you can look at this latest stormy stuff two different ways. one as a lawyer. trump is allowed to pay a settlement. didn't use campaign funds. or you can look at it as a voter, you care more about peace than porn stars and deeds more

than words. that brings us to this choice, do you want a wholesome president who could never have figured out north korea. i know the choice i made and it's the choice america made already. let us welcome tonight's guest. he's smart and tough like an encyclopedia that can kick your ass, fox new so sebastian gorka. retired green beret master sergeant in strange pants, terry shapper. her bac is always higher than her bmi. great joke. kat tims.

that was mean? it was nice. >> wait. he's not done. greg: he takes selfies with the hubble space telescope, former wwe superstar and my massive side kick tyrus. all right. dr. g, we covered a lot of ground here in this monologue. what do you think about what happened this week. what's the end game here with the media and their attacks on trump with stormy? wrote arwhere are you? >> first things first, that little communist is cool thing, as a child who lived under come in addition, that wacommunism, .

44% of millennials want to live in a socialist country. greg: they should move to vermont. >> so things have to be done and that kind of video can help us. with regards to this week, you have to listen to what the president said yesterday at the nra meeting. he relishes this stuff. i've worked for the guy. this is his fuel. greg: right, right, right. >> this is a 71-year-old guy. i'm 47. if i had a quarter of this man's energy at 71, i'd be happy. three hours of sleep at night. he doesn't get annoyed by this. it ease hiit's his fuel. they're going to lose. the jack tappers and the anderson coopers, they're going to lose. greg: you're 47, i'm six years older than you. >> me too. greg: i thought you were much older than me. >> just the beard. greg: and also you're tall.

i always think tall people are older than me. >> he has more rings if you cut him off. greg: terry would try that. how is the mainstream media going to handle when there's more and more good news? >> they're getting crushed. it's funny. about the communism thing and that poll, that makes sense. the communists knew we're not going to beat these guys militarily. we can get them with educators. this makes sense. the people that are a product of the education system have been fed this and don't know any better. when they get in the real world, they're going to figure it out real quick. reality does that. backstage is where we were, yeah, the green room. greg: get to the point. >> not lovin' your tone. i call donald trump the flash bang candidate, the flash bangs

are what we throw in and then we go in. he's crushed these people pep and they needed to be crushed, dems and media, media and academics. it's done by a call li callus, n skinned and beautiful. greg: he's flash bang but i'm flash. dance. kat, thoughts on anything. >> i'll keep it to the topic instead of what i was really thinking about. no. there has been a lot of good news but the media, what it does do, it doesn't cover it because then that would mean they have to admit that donald trump has done some good things, which he has. but instead they have stormy daniels' stories on all day long. i don't understand what they are. i don't watch it. what are they talking about for

so long. they hooked up, he lied about it, the end. i just did the whole show. greg: i don't understand. they're so shocked. these are people who said during the clinton era it's just sex. >> it's not ten years ago. greg: and a number of people. all right, tyrus. >> greg. greg: end the segment with some kind of wisdom. >> well we're all socialists when we're younger until we get our own money. greg: that's true. >> i ain't sharing a damn thing. it's mine. ain't told no jokes in this chair. why should i give it up. we're all socialists when we're unemployed on mom's coach. greg: that is so true. >> we saw in finland, they had an experiment, fixed income for

anybody in the poip las vegas whether you worked or not and guess what, it didn't work. >> speaking of finland, where did those boom boots come from. greg: i think they killed a yak. >> must have been a pretty yak. >> that's not the problem. the problem is the flare of those pants. >> you need a jacket with that. >> this is old meets new. >> you called it a problem, i call it excellence. greg: i hope they're flares because you're packing heat at the ankle. coming up, dennis rodman wants some credit for -- what's that word? for the north korea talks. why some there. rodman heartburn! no one burns on my watch! try alka seltzer... ultra strength heartburn relief chews. with more acid-fighting power than tums chewy bites. mmmmm...amazing.

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changing kim. dennis rodman says he deserve as pat on the back in the north korean summit happens. he was making nice with kim jong-un long before he thought a summit was possible. he brought a copy of "the art of the deal" on his last visit.

>> impressive about donald trump and the american people, they have a change of heater. greg: but back then everyone thought rodman was nuts to go over there. he was vilified busines vilifien nation. in 2014 some jerk had the nerve to say dennis rodman is another in a long line of western pawns. jerk. which was the polite way of saying this. >> he's a wimp. after all he's going there to celebrate his bud's birthday. rodman is the marilyn monroe to kim jong-un's jfk. he's little kim's little bitch. greg: handsome fellow but very naive. did not age well. i tell you what, to just to make amends, if this summit happens i will nominate dennis rodman for

the nobel peace prize and i'll even submit this video. >> in 2017 the international campaign to abolish nuclear weapons won the nobel peace prize. but this year that honor should belong to one man only, dennis rodman. one look at his impressive resume and you'll understand why why. he first teamed up with the muscle from brussels jean claude van dam. a year later he married carmen electra who quickly divorced him. soon after he finished his procareer with 11,954 rebounds. for comparison, the 2007 nobel prize winner al gore has zero career rebounds. was he always a dreamer. was he always a fighter? when people wanted to wear brightly dyed hair in public, rodman was there.

when "celebrity apprentice" needed a boost, rodman was there. and he dit quit. when the world needed to save the problem of north korea, rodman was there. dennis rodman, the clear choice for the 2018 no bohl peac nobel. greg: tyrus. >> oh, of course you went to me first. why oh why would greg go to me. what could it be. greg: you probably know dennis, right? we all know each other. >> ask your damn question. greg: should he accept my apology? >> you know what? where i'm from -- you know what? no. i went to a tony robins semimar. i'm going to be positive. if you would have called me a bitch, every time i saw you we

would move furniture. you know what i'm saying? and on that -- and you didn't just say it -- you said it like bitch like you was bigger than him. i don't know if i let that go. my only concern when i worry about this is if don lemon sees this, we all meet at the same meeting. if he happens to see this, you just gave him their out so they will no longer give president trump credit for -- you just gave them the out. so now it's going to be dennis rodman and it's because he gave him the book. they'll do a reenactment. you just gave them their out. greg: i like to make sacrifices. kat, people often say a book can change your life. nancy drew mysteries did it for me. i feel differently about plaid.

>> i don't know what that means. greg: i don't either. do you believe that theory? >> i definitely have books that i feel have changed my life. i can't get over the fact that den nitdennis rodman clearly ths he's cool because he hangs out with kim jong-un. i went to go see him for his birthday. it's implied, were you invited to his birthday? no, i wasn't invited. i'm okay with not going to an evil dignitary's birthday. greg: i don't know. they probably had great food. >> probably not. greg: that's not true. it's north korea. should we use more pop culture icon to deal with foreign policy conflicts ? madonna could save the middle east. >> allow me to save your reputation. that kid was actually spot on. why did he go there? he went there to celebrate little kim. he went there to be cool in a

dictatorship, not to stop anything. and along comes the new president who says, you keep doing what you're doing, we're going to obliterate you. secretary mattis says we will annihilate you. >> i don't think trump is bringing him any ber birthday g. >> i don't know. you call somebody a bitch, we got to go. that was like a he took a glove off and slapped him. greg: it's on. no one knows where i live. >> luckily you can handle yourself. greg: i'm tiny. i can run and hide. you ever try to catch a rodent? that's me. terry, what do you think this is going with north korea? this could be a big achievement and i think rodman played a role. >> give him the prize. it's a cheap prize any way.

i think the koreans, both north and south, i think it's a con. i think china was involved. they're like guys, we need to calm the hem down because this guy is not going to back down. to me it's strange that kim jong-un would be like yes, i'm going to get rid of all of my nuclear weapons because i'm afraid of donald trump. but we've never been to this place before. by the way, my mom loves greg more than me and she gave me some unicorn band-aids. greg: they're helpful when you put them on and they feel great when you take them off, unicorn band-aids. coming up, hillary blames her loss in 2016 on socialism. for once, she's right. you wouldn't accept an incomplete job from any one else. why accept it from your allergy pills? flonase relieves your worst symptoms including nasal congestion, which most pills don't. flonase helps block 6 key inflammatory substances.

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show ." greg: in a recent interview, aren't they all, hillary clinton was asked if being a capitalist hurt her in the election. she replied, heavens no. losing was entirely my fault and i alone. i am to blame. >> oh my god. greg: she didn't really say that. >> if you're in the iowa caucuses and 41% of democrats are socialists and i'm asked are you a capitalist and i say yes but with appropriate regulation

and with appropriate accountability, you know, that probably gets lost in the oh my gosh, she's a capitalist. greg: here's the thing. on this one she's right. we're in a midterm year. you know who's doing a lot of campaigning for the candidates? bernie. but also look at the popular issues. universal college access. $15 minimum wage, identity politics galore. hillary the capitalist was right for once. the democratic party is now the socialist party. here's their new campaign video. >> sharing is awesome. democrats 2018. greg: terry, i hate to admit that she's right. but in yo if you blame everybod,

you're bound to be right once. >> hillary clinton is not a capitalist. she's an evil lord. she's not a real capitalist. but it's funny that her explaining that she was take. taken down because is true. 44% want to go to socialism. they've been indoctrinated. the ones that smoke weed every day yeah, man, authority sucks. she did lose because she's a capitalist but she's not a capital list. greg: kat, will the democrats win on socialist values? >> i hope not. i don't think that's the only reason she lost. she's a nightmare. very unlikeable. and bernie was far left of her when she was all about prisons and kind of a war hawk. i think that had a lot more to do in going further e left in ll

areas. greg: sebastian, i want her to run again. >> please. greg: do you think she will, guys . >> what else is she going to do. >> it would be fabulous. i think our colleague counted up the number of excuses she's used. it was like 42. is this 43? i think next it will be global warming made me lose. greg: because people decided to go to the beach instead of voting. it was a nice day. >> she is a herod, a disaster. that's why she lost. greg: tyrus, how far left will the democrats go this year, do you think? >> how far left. i don't know. they're going to go so far left that they won't vote. they'll protest the vote. that's what they'll do. that way they can't really lose because they protested.

but she -- there's one big reason she lost. she lost this election eight years prior. when she lost to obama, it was the same thing. it was just democrats are saying she's entitled, she's not a nice person, she's full of it. like they didn't believe her then and they don't believe her now and they're not going to. but for whatever reason as long as he's got enough money -- first of all, who the hell is interviewing her now. what person is like hey, i'm going to get hillary on the show and we're going to find out why she lost. if i said that to you? let's get to the bottom of this. it's very simple. more people voted for him than you. greg: actually. >> electoral college, correct? >> in the system that's been used for all these years. greg: the system we have to get

rid of. >> with the exception of california and new york. >> you know what's funny about the left, they constantly worship iconic class. if you think about it, trump for whoever he is, there's no better iconic class right now. he's destroyed the media. like i said i don't think he's a particularly moral man. if you worked for him, he's like, you do the right thing, i'll take care of you. >> very loyal. >> i get that. like we stand with each other. i know some bad things about a lot of bad dudes and they know a lot of bad things about me but we'll bury the bodies for you. greg: that's good to know. >> they'll never find them. greg: if you bury a body, make sure it's in those pants and boots. >> look at where he won. this is important what terry said. he won in areas that we were told the gop would never ever

win. i went to youngstown, ohio with the president. this is steel valley. and you knew they were former registered democrats. when he came out on stage, when she came out on stage, melania came out, they were screaming usa drain the swamp. he won despite the gop, not because of the gop. and that's the lesson that the right has to understand. greg: we got to go. >> you want to say something? greg: coming up, why are some people calling this prom dress offensive? it reminds me of the time they it reminds me of the time they told me leather >> tech: so yos chip is nothing to worry about? well at safelite, we know sooner or later every chip will crack. these friends were on a trip when their windshield got chipped. so they scheduled at safelite.com. they didn't have to change their plans or worry about a thing. i'll see you all in a little bit. and i fixed it right away with a strong repair they can trust. plus, with most insurance

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dress. long story short, white girl posts pictures of hi her prom ds

on social media, and then the media writes about the outrage. the dress sparked. but you know who wasn't outraged by it? china! over there this story isn't appropriation. it's called appreciation. look. if you really wanted -- thank you. clap away. if you really wanted to be a pain, you can claim appropriation on anything. like socks. the ancient greeks came up with them. do i have to throw my socks out because i'm not greek? what about yogurt. greeks didn't invent that. a lot of ancient herdsmen did. if you're not an ancient herdsman, you get no yo. toilets, scotland. coil let paper, china. and yet it's called scott

tissue. perfume was invented in mesopotamia. that's not even a place anymore. do you walk upright? how dare you steal that fro. look our country is only 242 years old. most of life's essentials were invented way before we came along. we don't borrow from other culture. no one would evolve. we'd be a crawling, starving, stinking mess like these two. selfish little rodents. kat, you're the expert at prom dresses, aassume. >> i had one before. greg: you've worn one before? >> yeah. greg: so we do have something in common. >> well played, greg. well played. greg: what are your thoughts on cultural appropriation? >> i think it gets out of hand

and it's really awful that so many people were basically bullying this high school girl over her dress. people were really mean to her they weren't like, let me educate you, they were being mean to her. i can't imagine having the time and the energy to sit there on the internet and bully a kid about a dress. i thought i didn't have a social life. but damn. >> i know i said town any greg but i'm an american now and i wanted to be known as of today that we will ban anyone who is not an american from wearing blue jeans and baseball hats. greg: very good. >> cultural appropriation. they belong to us. greg: tutuxedos were made in tuxedo mark which is part of new york, i believe. if you're not an american and you're going to the prom, no tuxedo for you. >> this was starteds with jeremy lamb. this was started by a little

chubby asian dude and appropriating the n word multiple times. >> say what? >> i woke him up. i can't say that. tyrus can say that. >> next to bitch that will get you messed up. >> that's what i said. by the way, this little asian dude saying that word like, oh, damn. so i guess there's no end to that circle o. greg: there's no way to fight back. when a social justice warrior tries to take something from them, you can't return the favor fap pi don'favor. they don't have anything fun. >> her date should have gotten the appropriate male version, the counter part of that. whatever that is. i'm not that big in china. but instead of being -- the real

reason they were mad is because she looked good. she had a beautiful day and that's what people do who don't. apparently he's chubby and wears a baseball hat. ain't me, i'm jack. i can have this because i have this. >> that's right. >> but i'm just saying when i get hit with that, i give it to them more. they're like don't talk, i talk more. don't lift weights like you do all of the time, i lift more. kiss my ass. that should be her attitude. whenever anyone tries to appropriate me, punch them in the mouth back with it. greg: the social justice warrior movement is the fun police saying they won't rest until everything is ruined. cinco de mayo, you can't do that. >> st. patrick's day. greg: any group devoid of humor is dangerous. you cannot engage. you cannot have fun with them. they want you su subservient ate

end of the day. >> luckily we live in a time with the president, what did he do? he got the video with a taco salad. if someone gets online, do what the president would do. greg: still to come, the boy scouts are taking a very important word out of twhair important word out of twhair time antheir nameand it isn't st (explosion) with rocket mortgage, you can be approved in as few as eight minutes, giving you super hero levels of confidence. rocket mortgage. america's largest mortgage lender. "avengers: infinity war" in theaters april 27th. the kayak explore tool shows you the places you can fly on your budget. so you can be confident you're getting the most bang for your buck. alo-ha. kayak. search one and done.

and we got to know the friends of our friends.r the friends. then our old friends from middle school, our mom, our ex and our boss joined forces to wish us happy birthday. then we discovered our uncle use to play in a band. and realized he was young once too. and we found others just like us. and just like that we felt a little less alone. but then something happened. we had to deal with spam, clickbait, fake news, and data misuse. that's going to change. from now on, facebook will do more to keep you safe and protect your privacy. so we can all get back to what made facebook good in the first place. friends. because when this place does what it was built for, we all get a little closer.

pimpling and morpinching and moe cross-stitching. they're changing their name to scouts bsa, bsa standing for best socks around. true. thank god. the reason for the change, they'll now start accepting girls who will now be able to advance to the highest rank, which is eagle scout. which means they get their very own'own eagle. i don't know anything about the scouts. lots of companies change their names. kentucky fried chicken because kfc, wwf became the wwe.

and the five was once called "the greg gutfeld show" plus four other annoying people. meanwhile the cub scouts for brats ages 7 to 10 has already started admitting girls. in response the girl scouts of america have begun their own recruitment, rolling out the merit badges. my favorite is peanut butter painting. >> what have you been doing to your brother? you don't know? you were scrubbing him? greg: tyrus, how do you feel about this? >> you know, i understand -- greg: you were a boy scout. >> yeah, i was a boy scout. and i really feel like -- and peterson, when he came in he talked about it a lot. there are differences between us and there are certain things that the boy scouts helped me to

do, as far as having a man's perspective on how to be a young adult when you didn't have a man around the house. it was an outlet to be a young man, have questions and be able to feed off of each other. there was the alternative, the girl scouts and they did their own thing. i don't understand why we had to combine the two of them together. it was part of an american institution. we had to change it because we had something similar and in some cases better. we had the boy scouts and the girl scouts. i don't understand why we had to. >> i it's just like all of these things that are threats to what we've been talking about all night, you know, this collective behavior. >> the scouts was created by a general. >> a british guy. >> a very specific role. it was how do you help young

boys become men and this is what they want to attack. i'm going to say something shocking here. girmgirls are not boys and boyse not girls. >> no way. burn him. >> congratulations on the jordan peterson guest appearance. he's absolutely right. therthis isn't just an accident. this is an ideological assault on our traditions of yo christin civilization. greg: i think the ultimate end game is no more distinctions. i'm saying to you as a former girl scout, if you're going to get rid of gender distinctions, why not get rid of age disstinkses sdistinctions so asd i can become a girl scout saying i can identify as a 9-year-old girl. doesn't that logically make some

sense? >> you would definitely not have fit in with my friends, though. when i was the age that i was a girl scout, i didn't want to hang out with boys. i thought they had cooties. i wanted to make friendship bracelets and listen to the spice girls. and get back at tina for having another best friend other than me. greg: i always hated it when you became a secondary best friend. >> in the boy scouts we were all a group, a troop. >> i take that back. i do want to join the boy scouts. >> we worked together. we were challenged. it was just different. like i said, i don't get it. greg: the other thing too, if all identity becomes fluid, it can become highly specific. which means i can wake up i'm not identifying as a woman but as a specific woman. i want to identify as oprah winfrey or why can't i wake up

saying i want to be a giraffe or an asteroid. and then i should be on like some kind of disability. unicorn disability. >> you're giving everybody on out on this show. greg: if liz warren can do it, so can i. >> we had a kid in the neighborhood that thought he was a dog and we all encouraged it. but one day we were like hey jackass, stop being a dog. greg: he became the world's best fetcher. they're going to make a movie out of him. he would fetch things and he became famous for fetching. all right. i got to shut up we've seen the military trying to do the integration of the women and men. guys behave differently when they're by themselves. >> tell me about it. greg: we got more to come.

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i accept i don't i even accept i i used thave a higher risk of stroke due to afib, a type of irregular heartbeat not caused by a heart valve problem. but no matter where i ride, i go for my best. so if there's something better than warfarin, i'll go for that too. eliquis. eliquis reduced the risk of stroke better than warfarin, plus had less major bleeding than warfarin. eliquis had both. don't stop taking eliquis unless your doctor tells you to, as stopping increases your risk of having a stroke. eliquis can cause serious and in rare cases fatal bleeding. don't take eliquis if you have an artificial heart valve or abnormal bleeding. while taking eliquis, you may bruise more easily... and it may take longer than usual for any bleeding to stop. seek immediate medical care for sudden signs of bleeding, like unusual bruising. eliquis may increase your bleeding risk if you take certain medicines. tell your doctor about all planned medical or dental procedures. i'm still going for my best. and for eliquis.

ask your doctor about eliquis. >> final thoughts, doctor,? do you have a book coming out? >> yes. i've got my second coming out, coming out in july for the beach. >> yeah. >> you can preorder now. but i have a final thought for everybody. have faith because donald trump never gives up. >> i like it when he says it in that voice, have faith. >> you can't resist this guy. >> terry? >> yeah, so listen everybody talks about -- go to task force dot org. i was an archaeologist before i went into the army. we are teaching archaeology and we're going to excavate remains and bring them back to their families from world war ii. [applause] >> wow. when you are out there digging

those remains, bury those pants. [laughter] >> i will not. >> all right. doctor, thank you, terry. [cheers] >> studio audience. i love you, america. molly: one of president trump's fiercest allies in congress threatening to hold attorney general jeff sessions in contempt as republicans accuse the justice department of stonewalling. good evening i'm molly line. this is the fox report. >> house intelligence committee chairman nunes butting heads with the jeff sessions justice department claiming it ignored a subpoena against the trump campaign. >> i think we need to talk to the attorney general and make sure he understands the significance of this request. i have already talked to the director of the fbi that we need this request. and so this just can't continue where we don't get information in a timely manner. like i said, everything we've tried to get, they try to stop us