it comes out in july but you can preorder it now on amazon or barnes & noble. i'm jeanine pirro advocating for truth, justice and the american way. greg gutfeld is next. see you next saturday night. >> answer the question instead of crashing. [inaudible conversations] >> gentlemen. gentlemen. i will kick you both offset. [inaudible conversations] >> i did not start this. greg: great to see the guys from the muppets doing well. [cheering and applause]

this week marked the first 500 days of donald trump's presidency or what i like to call the first 500 days of donald trump's presidency. [laughter] i celebrate a little each day. that is me. 500 days. 500 days of the media's nervous breakdown began. a lot of stuff happened since then especially for you in your life and that is what matters, not us, you. the matter what the media says life went on without the predicted catastrophes. your life stay the same or it got better and if it got worse, i blame obama. [laughter] no, i am kidding. stop, don't applaud. [cheering and applause] terrible people. even if nothing changed that is not what was predicted.

the trumpets of doom warned of financial meltdowns, civil wars and nuclear armageddon. instead we have peaceful prosperity, lower taxes, a real chance with north korea, a booming economy and as an added bonus kathy griffin went stone bunkers. [laughter] thank you. thank you, mr. trump. it's an incredible age. even if the media can't see it or refuses to so, if this is how the media acts now imagine how they would be acting if things were actually bad. really hates phones. in the middle of all this good news the media inserts for bad. they're like those pigs that dig for truffles except those stories like where is melania trump?

oh, there she is. nevermind about melania trump. meanwhile, you shrug. the media complaining about how the news create unease that's a mosquito complaining about malaria. it's whining about rabies, iraq star deploring chlamydia. isn't it obvious how frequently they avoid the good? the may have the nerve to run stories saying that bad news makes you sick. no, it's not bad news that makes you sick but that you are bad news that hurts. with each negative story makes you the viewer a villain and is the climate warming? it is your fault, you selfish consumer. rising inequality? you evil capitalist pigs. [laughter] frankly, not good for america to hourly that america sucks.

if only there was a solution for this in the solution that somehow involves a dolphin. >> racist? >> yes, yes. >> all the people who voted for donald trump. >> we live in a culture that hates women. >> depressing. >> the world is terrible and it's all my fault. yes, it is all your fault, tom. >> yeah, you, tom. all this bad news is your fault. you are destroying the world in your heartless bigot. in short, you suck and you are a horrible human being. >> i feel sick. >> great. i have done my job. >> sound like someone needs and it's not your fault dolphin. it's a normal-sized dolphin that has been genetically altered to the size of the person and given lakes. when you are sick from the bad news he will be there to remind you of life. >> it's not your fault.

it's not your fault. >> thank you. >> when a coworker tries to bum you out. >> if you are still driving to work you obviously hate the planet. >> it's not your fault. it's not your fault. >> or even when you least expect it. >> it's not your fault. it's not your fault. it's not your fault. >> that sounds annoying but i guess it beats the sickness and sadness. >> get the it's not your fault dolphin today. we will flow in a it's going to be okay shark. [cheering and applause] greg: the select management know the no drugs were taken when we came up with that idea.

everything is viewed with the same folder from academia which affects news and entertainment and creates one conclusion, you are the oppressor. if that does not make you sick, it should. right now if you ground things are pretty good. we now have more jobs available that we have jobless and i never heard of that before and that sounds like a news. is that right msnbc? bottom line the media trying to diagnose can only be done with the mirror. they need to look at it and not just use it to do is off. the media is the progressive hammer. [laughter] the media is the progressive hammer and anything that appears successful to them becomes a nail. no wonder we all have headaches. [cheering and applause] let's welcome tonight's guests.

after candy and sugar, he's the sugar cane i know. actor, dean cain. [cheering and applause] he's a comedian by day and asleep at night, comedian joe mackey. [cheering and applause] he's got more baggage than jfk and i'm in the airport, national review reporter kat sims. [cheering and applause] and they use the space needle to ink his tattoos. for the bw e superstar and my massive sidekick, tyrus. [cheering and applause] hasn't been super for the first 500 days? did you see what i do that? [laughter] >> i think it's been pretty darn good but you were not know that from what you hear. i think it's been fantastic. greg: where you most happy about? >> i have this not your fault dolphin that i run with.

[laughter] and i'm happy that every thing is all my fault. no, i love the direction we are going. i get a bite on twitter -- you know who you are. the thing is they are yelling about certain things but the things we have done in the policy put in place i'm happy with. greg: i don't have an it's not your fault often. i have it's and our little secret often. [laughter] >> oh. greg: joe, you are filled with neurosis and fear and do the news make you more neurotic and fearful? >> i don't know when to be sick anymore. it's all bad news. i remember one time i called up work because there was a wildfire and the next day a panda bear died and i had to pretend i was okay. [laughter] greg: how other than that how has been the 500 is for you? >> it's like that movie 500 days

of summer. i have not seen a movie. [laughter] but i like the title. greg: you know that is always on demand but i never want to look at it. cat, do you think the media will suffer withdrawals would trump leaves office? kat: they will move on and something else to be upset about but for me whether the news is good or bad it still depresses me because the bad news makes me sad because of the people being involved in the sad thing and the good news makes me sad because i'm jealous of how much fun people are having that i am not having. i only truly could be happy and case where there was some sort of place like a plug in my phone i could play word cookies and for me to hang out with. that i think they are cutie pies and they get a bad rap. instead of being a kat lady i could be a that lady in my case. greg: i do believe they spell it

rabies i would be an excellent that lady terrorists, what's your take? tyrus: a party in my pants. i love it. [laughter] it is literally been a coming attraction of disaster movies that never show up in the theaters. i'm supposed to be through a nuclear war a race riot and they're supposed to be an impeachment and i'm supposed to fight russians and i am blackstone supposed to be kickoff fox. [laughter] this one big letdown. greg: i have a theory on this angst that it's an investment and if you invest in something for so long it's difficult to listen your grip on it even when

the evidence is there. i hate the red hot chili peppers. worst band was in the history of the world. they might release a decent song but it's hard for me to listen to it even though. tyrus: you committed today. yeah, you've committed to write you do you do when you breathe air so i hit you. that's the deal was from. when he leaves they will follow him. it's not over. rachel will be outside his house wherever he is retired at and i have more tax returns. it's not over yet. they will literally give him an extra year just to try to get him. they're not letting us go. greg: no, they will. joe, i think the media please their psyche mirrors america so they are feeling polarized everyone in america feels the same way. i'm not sure that's the case. >> i think a lot of people especially -- [laughter] greg: i don't know what they're laughing at, joe. >> i don't know either.

now i want to move to a cave. there's not enough case. they make it seem like there's a lot in cartoons but there isn't. [laughter] if all your friends in the media think the same thing is hard to get a different idea out. greg: good point. >> see, you left early. greg: they suffer from premature laughing. dean, any protections? >> hopefully it will be more than 500 days. i hope armageddon does not happen and i hope tyrus gets to stay on fox. tyrus: that's will hurt their feelings. after the summit happens and nothing goes bad and after more prosperity happens and nothing goes bad they will keep make stuff up like. kat: they want armageddon they would literally rather get blown

up then have to think top for not getting pulled up. [laughter] greg: exactly. [applause] we should and on that note. and on that note. all right. coming up, trump and continued there to meet face-to-face or maybe base to just. i'm not sure h adult the other guy is. hey! we didn't have a homeowners claim last year so allstate is giving us money back on our bill. well, that seems fair. we didn't use it. wish we got money back on gym memberships. get money back hilarious. with claim-free rewards. switching to allstate is worth it. same thing with any dent or dings on this truck. they all got a story about what happened to 'em. man 2: it was raining, there was only one way out. i could feel the barb wire was just digging into the paint. man: two bulls were fighting, (thud) bam hit the truck. try explaining that to your insurance company. woman: another ding, another scratch. it'll just be another chapter in the story. every scar tells a story, and you can tell a lot more stories

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greg: what is in store in singapore? the summit is a go with us and [inaudible]. i hope trump is prepared. >> i think i am well-prepared. it's but attitude and willingness to get things done. greg: is about attitude. this is an historic moment. it has to be handled delicately and we almost lost the summit altogether. one wrong word could ruin everything. i hope rudy doesn't say anything stupid that could screw this up. >> they also said they would go to nuclear war against us and they were going to defeat us in a nuclear war. we said will not have a summit under those circumstances. kim jong-un got back on his hands and knees and begged for it which is exactly the position

you want to put him in. greg: does anyone have duct tape? [laughter] seriously. no worries, he is not present we've got the art of the deal the presidents. this is the deal he's been waiting for his life and it should have been handled years ago. >> it should have been handled years ago but it's been handled now and i will take care of it. greg: he will take care of it. he's getting in the zone. let's see what happens. >> we will see what we will see. we will see what happens but we will see what happens. we will see what happens. greg: we welded trump told reporters at the talks could go for three days which means two things, one, trump is willing to stay as long as things are going well and two, stephanopoulos is realizing and packing up undies. [laughter] excited that i am going and i even bought a special outfit. [laughter] not bad, dean. >> fantastic. greg: you are my inspiration.

what is wrong with me? joe, what are your thoughts? >> i think trump has a. this should have bee handled long ago but it's all the plight residents that got us in this mess. we have an in-flight president trying to switch things up. greg: he's been the creepy guy. crazier than the crazy guy. it used to be -- uses the groups of people saying death to america and now they say screw you and me but they will kill us. tyrus, do you have high hopes? tyrus: we will see how it goes. [laughter] they play their game and we play our game and we hope for the best and hope the best team wins. he is literally sound like me after every football game. he's not setting expectation

higher than he is but he has no idea how this will go and he is not in -- he's not giving a soundbite for the media to run with because if he said this will be great and i'm going to knock this out and we will have peace, bam, something does go right, cnn the orgasm will be unreal confetti everywhere. it would be -- he failed and there is a missile coming but it doesn't matter. he failed. he is playing it poker but he's not showing his hand or giving you anything more than we will see what happens. greg: kat, he could go three days and i think the strategy is to wear everyone down to a submissive knob. trumps key is to outlast everyone and he doesn't drink so he can do that. if he knows you're at the meeting and you have to piece he will keep rainwater in front of you. he will pour water in the glass and it will be our four and he will be drinking because he knows, he knows that he can outlast you. he works you down.

kat: yeah. [laughter] greg: i know that was a question. kat: i love the part where he says he doesn't feel that he needs to prepare. i would love to have that mindset. i freak out about everything. i sit my entire childhood studying for spelling test in case you forgot one of the words. he will not prepare for the summit that it takes me days to prepare for a guy to take me out to dinner. [laughter] greg: you know, did giuliani think bugs me because when you are dealing with a negotiation any negotiation once you get to the part to save the insults and you don't want to appear better than the other person because you are basically stopping them in the face. >> you're celebrating the test out before you score. i've played that game for myself. giuliani was better dancing than he was and did you see him dancing? greg: yes,.

[laughter] >> you don't want to say that he was down there and came back with his hands and knees. don't to say that ever. greg: i was wish i going to singapore because in singapore they arrest you for littering and they arrest you for a lot of things, spitting, selling gun and i have to pay $200 for that downtown but if i were in singapore i'd be dropping gum wrappers all over the place. joe, could this foreshadow how other countries -- trump is the master of the carrot and stick. >> i think this could work. we have thai food with peace for north korea and getting your money back from iran and it did not seem to help but think we need to go in there and to

prepare and it's not all about attitude. just go in there like as a football match. [laughter] and you will pass the ball to score the points. you don't have to plan it out but you state you turn left, you turn right and see how it goes. greg: yes, you should put that on your real for espn. [laughter] >> they would eat that up. greg: kat, what are the odds? is this going to happen? kat: is what going to happen? greg: could this happen? kat: i think it could but it'll take more than a summit. there may be future meetings. i also love the trump was reportedly considering inviting kim jung-un to mar-a-lago if it goes well because that is something i would do. why don't you just come over so i don't have to move my body and that's all he's doing pretty singapore is not a walk across the street. maybe they could play golf

together. greg: that would be fantastic. we have a lot more. still to come, no more swimsuits for ms. america. as long as speedo's stay on mr. as long as speedo's stay on mr. universe, i'm ancestrydna told my dad he comes from the southern coast of ireland. i think it's why we've been doing this...forever. my dad has roots in the mountains of northern mexico. home to the strongest runners in the universe. my dad's ancestors were african bantu. i bet they told the most amazing stories. with twice the detail of other tests... ...ancestrydna can show dad where he's from- and strengthen the bonds you share. it's only $69. give it to dad for father's day. with free fishing at our catch-and-release pond this weekend. plus, great gifts for dad! like flag t-shirts for only $5.

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he made those comments at the g-7 summit in canada. the president calls his meeting with kim a quote mission of speak. the pentagon identified the special-ops sergeant who died in somalia during a counter terror operation. four other service members were injured. four u.s. soldiers died during an ambush in niger last october. channel. greg: they've given the boot to the swimsuits. this week the ms. america pageant announced it's dropping the swimsuit portion of the contest. i think that is from price is

right. they tweeted a video of a bikini going up in smoke. what are they replacing the swimsuit portion with? eight knife fight. i'm kidding. a session where contestants discuss their achievements and goals in life. that will flight right by. the evening gown portion is being revamped as well. they can wear what they choose. i wore what i wore to the prom. [laughter] anyways, i have mixed feelings on the subsisted on one hand who cares if they get rid of them. i don't need to see all that? again, isn't the swimsuit portion designed to gauge dedication to physical health. that is you are in shape. i don't know. i'm not a pageant person but if you change it to be pc why not go all in. i'm starting a pageant of my own that does just that. >> tired of the same limit

pageant shows of a train full of beautiful people and pesky questions of world peace? it's a totally non- gender specific, noncompetitive, no age limit with a safe inoffensive categories bound to offend no one. don't worry, the candle will not be lit. safety is the number one concern. if you know anyone, call us. plus, no contestants goes home early because in this contest there no judges or winters. trs for everyone. this contest will also include [inaudible]

[cheering and applause] greg: kat, it is weird because to me i am torn. i find the idea of a pageant arcane like from a bygone era but a lot of things men do is find a bygone era. of the ballgame is a pageant of mail files. i didn't understand that either. how do you feel about this? kat: on the whole i think it is good because i know i would not want a bunch of strangers to see me in a bathing suit and i don't even really want to see myself in a bathing suit. every time i see it i'm like girl, but close on. but i don't think this will make anyone feel better as there are still winners and losers and now

the losers will think okay, my body is not why i lost so i guess i'm just not a good person on the inside. [laughter] and that is not better. greg: that's a good point. i did not see that coming. it's my character and personality and my lack of goa goals. kat: in achievements. greg: that is so sad. i agree and i find that there's something weird about the bikini or the simpson thing because you know exactly what is being judged and it's incredibly animal -- they are on stage and they know what everyone is looking at where in real life on the street at least you can pretend you're not doing that. >> that is what i am doing. i'll tell you right now. no, i think it's not a positive thing in the long run and their ratings have been declining year after year and this will pretty much but -- what will you do?

an essay contest? or a spelling bee? greg: is a live interaction with judges about achievement. to your point, it sounds like a college application interview. >> in a weird way. but this whole thing started as a beach wear person thing in 1921 or something like that. it was literally a one-piece beachwear contest. as far as i knew it was a beauty pageant to be honest and that is not what it will be anymore. greg: terrorists,. [laughter] tyrus: i don't want to duchess. anything i say will have me in a me to seller. i will just say it is great. i also think that powerlifting competitions should not be judged on merit and effort. [laughter] bodybuilding will be on his feelings. football games will be close

enough. [laughter] i feel like we are just being -- it is a beauty contest. it's the prettiest person wins so. greg: save yourself. [laughter] all right, good job. joe, i think this is a positive evolution and maybe it is time in 2018 to move away from these clichéd traditional, gender specific events. >> that's sad and pathetic. i disagree with all of you. we have an ocean to our west, ocean to our east, we need to know what women look like in america that represent us. i say you go, girl. i have man boobs. [laughter] they say it's a talent contest now but isn't there a contest

for americans that have talents? i forget the name of it but we will be sending our champion to the ms. universe contest and they will say we don't think we have been for ladies. greg: it's interesting that how this will fit with the other universe in the ms. world. i believe that we should be judged on physical fitness because that tells you you have discipline and that you get up in the morning and run and from your entire self. they should have -- you don't need a swimsuit just something they workout in. that's a good compromise. tyrus: it's a beauty contest. greg: coming up, kids getting fined for having a lemonade stand. country time says not on my watch. [cheering and applause] ♪ you're just too good to be true ♪ ♪ can't take my eyes off you ♪

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lemonade. by now you've heard one story about a kid whose lemonade stand got shut down because they did not have a permit. it's a stupid law that the books made it legal for the kids to sit on the sidewalk insula drink for a quarter. big corporate lemonade i.e. country time now says it will defend and pay the fines for any kid who gets in trouble with the law. watch this. [applause] >> around the country, kids are getting [inaudible]. entrepreneurship, good work habit, good old-fashioned fun, shut down because of old, arcane but real loss for the kids like austin. >> it got shut down because they did not have a permit and it was unfair. >> it is happening everywhere. no, seriously, look it up but

the summer things are going to be different. country time is introducing legal aid. it's a crack team ready to string out kids with permits and finds making sure no kid is denied the right to a lemonade stand and the benefits they bestow. >> if you have a problem, the officers of country time legal aid are ready to take a stand for you. >> dislikes content like justice. >> when life gives you arcane laws, make lemonade. >> we are here for you. greg.[cheering and applause] greg: hold on. that sounds refreshing but is it? the company be encouraging illegal behavior among children especially behavior that involves the selling of a addictive substances like sugar? we went to our legal expert for comment.

he is the best in the business. tyrus, i have to say this was a genius idea. i don't know if it is real but i think it's an awesome idea. what are you looking at me? what did i do now? tyrus: you mean to tell me there is a grown adult picked up the phone and called and reported a child at a lemonade stand? greg: yes. yes. [laughter] tyrus: because there is children in the audience i will say this in the best -- are you out of your blank mind? they should barbecue your blank, blank and there only around, blank you, blank you, blank

them, it's a beauty contest, man. [laughter] it's lemonade. greg: is lemonade. dean? lemonade? >> i think it's a brilliant commercial. i don't drink country time and i didn't drink country time but now i will. you better believe it. [cheering and applause] i might add busy water an adult beverage to it and that's my prerogative. greg: when i grew up i was selling a warm glass of juice. it's fantastic on a hot, summer day. tyrus: were you outside an old folks home? [laughter] greg: it fills you up and it is you. kat, did you have a lemonade stand? kat: i'm not sure if i want to admit it because i don't want the police to be waiting for me when i get out of here.

i don't know what the statute of limitations on a lemonade stand is but yes, i did. i think this is great. i think every child should have the opportunity to have a lemonade stand and save up money and buy plastic reptiles like i did. that plastic reptiles are important to any child. i would want to see any kid without them so i think this is great. this is ridiculous. kids selling lemonade is very normal and i think that i agree with tyrus. anyone who would call on this i didn't know there was a person more sad than i am but it turns out there is. greg: it might have been [inaudible] joe, he's a terrible person. joe, where you stand on this? >> these laws were not meant for children's lemonade sanskrit they were meant for adults lemonade stands and they're trying to shut me down.

they shut me down one time and i come back in an hour with a different sign in different title of my lemonade stand. if you can't compete with a two -year-old and six -year-old, your lemonade stand stinks. [laughter] kids are idiots. we know that. there are buying it to be nice to the kids but my lemonade is delicious. [laughter] greg: i always give it to the kids because people look up to me around america. [laughter] all right. shut up all of you. learn from starbucks. if you want to sell lemonade you park your stand next to a porta potty. if you do a renovation you have a porta potty outside her house and you get the toilet try. if they want to use the porta potty you say you have to bite lemonade. and then charge extra for ice.

fifty cents for a glass, 25 cents for an ice and when you give you money, say sorry, we don't have change. any adult the demands change is not an adult. right customer. tyrus: you are not going anywhere near my kids, ever. greg: if i had a dollar for every time i heard that. all right. still to come, a pharmacist blabs about a viagra scription. next. [cheering and applause] mom? dad? hi! i had a very minor fender bender tonight in an unreasonably narrow fast food drive thru lane. but what a powerful life lesson. and don't worry i have everything handled. i already spoke to our allstate agent, and i know that we have accident forgiveness.

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greg: she heard about your trip from the pharmacist . great crime. a man is suing cbs saying a pharmacy worker told his wife about his viagra prescription and it ruin his marriage. michael feinberg, if that is his

real name, had apparently arranged to pay for the little blue pills himself and not go through his insurance but when his wife later called cbs to check on one of her own prescriptions the worker mentioned his secret prescription. he claims the worker violated the federal hipaa laws which require a patient's permission before revealing confidential information which he says his marriage broke down and is seeking unspecified damages. this is why i do not go to pharmacists. i get all my drugs from the sky. [laughter] my goodness. i did not know he did that on his free time. all right. dean, does he have a case here? >> i don't know what those little blue pills are. greg: how did you know they were blue? [laughter] >> i don't know.

it's weird that that would cause their relationship to breakdown. what was the relationship based upon that finding out he needed the pill. greg: maybe they were. tyrus: tag out, superman. let someone who tells you who has been divorced and it's a battle in that room. he was always there and he was bragging about it and she had to say good job all the time and just because she had to be right she had to let them know that it's not really you. you were cheating. you're not attracted to me. you have to use bills to be attracted to me and then he says no, and then it turns into a fight. that's why the marriage broke down. real quick. sorry guys but -- if he would just be okay it's all right if you are testosterone goes down. we go through hell for 35 years and then they say it's god's

curse that she hits her peak at 35 and we start going down. it's her turn to go through let's play crossword puzzles and hang out with the kids or cuddle and watch tv. that's our time to get our project on because were not thinking about that stuff anymore. [applause] greg: kat, care to respond about anything? kat: i really hope this pharmacist gets in big trouble. pharmacies are supposed to be sacred grounds. you go in there looking however you want to get whatever you want and no one is supposed to act like you're even there. when i walk into a pharmacy i imagine myself in a cloak of invisibility. no one can tell i'm wearing

penguin pajama pants or to my eye makeup is smeared onto my four head and no one can see that i'm there buying kat litter and onions and antiaging cream. it's a sacred thing that in a pharmacy you don't look at each other alone talk about it. this pharmacist violated something sacred in this country and i hope he or she pays. [laughter] greg: joe, what is your take on this? >> i think pharmacies in general have a privacy problem. you get your prescription and then they tell you to go to the consultation area but it's just one register down. [laughter] and you hear the pharmacist they will these are for toenail fungus and i'm like keep that quiet, lady. [laughter] greg: it is so true. also they have cheap backs. you're not out of the woods when you leave the pharmacy so you are walking out in the bag is

open and i didn't even notice that in walking on broadway and everyone can see that i have problems.get older and your you know? it requires ointments. tyrus: you have to overbuy. you can't go into by just the tampons and. greg: preparation h. tyrus: you have to cover up with more stuff. but isn't it amazing that the it's always on stuff you don't want them to know. want them to know. greg: it's (director) cut!

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you don't have to say i'm your best friend. that's okay. greg: was just informed by amazon that you can order one copy of this purpose of it go right now before sunday and get my monologues. we are out of time. special thanks to dean cain, joe mackey, kat timpf and tyrus in our studio audience. i'm greg .-ellipsis and i love

you, america. [cheering and applause] taking . that's fox. reporter: this saturday. jesse: welcome to "watters world." the debate over kneeling at "the national anthem" at a fever pitch. many players on the philadelphia eagles planned to boycott. president trump: we love our country, we respect our flag, and we always stand for "the national anthem." we stand to honor our military and honor our country. and to remember the fallen heros who never made it