barnes & noble. keep up with us on facebook and instagram to see how to score yourself a signed copy if you can't watch justice, dvr us. >> the time is now friend. let's get after it. this is a travesty of a democracy. it is a tra virks sh domocary. greg: he's an idiot. all right. wed date "new york times" ran an anonymous op-ed by a white house official trashing donald trump

for being donald trump. apparently he's a tough old boss. i say top the presses. but brian stelter might accuse me of wanting the paper to close. you tell him a knock knock joke and he looks for the door. the people denying it's them. mike pence, mike pompeo, dan coats, james mattis. flipper. rick perry, ben carson, herbie the love bug, gina haskell. kellyanne conway and crackle from snap crackle and pop. but the big news is some employees don't like their boss. this is pulitzer stuff.

a boss who is known for being inquisitive and blunt is inquisitive and blunt. he doesn't say hi in the hallways. he once forgot my birthday. but what kills me, it's so obvious this was written by a pirks ssed off flunky. he' the assistant to the assistant manager. he's the guy who won't do the job he's asked to do and you think he should be pissed, you dumb ass. how is it this piece and the book appeared at the same time? perhaps they are all from that same source. that source is telling you donald trump is a big meany and a jerk. the country is safer and more prosperous under trump. two meaningless variables.

trump has done nothing about the real problems we face like condiment water. you turn over the ketchup and mustard bottle and it looks like it's peeing on your sandwich? or you forget to rinse the plate? or you run out of toilet paper and you have to use this. or this. or this. yes. nope, just prosperity and safety. oh, well, the only variables that matter are reduced to one sentence that cancels out everything else. fact, fit takes a jerk to make a country great, then hell let's

bring on the jerks. d bring on the jerks. >> i'm running to be your senator. i was drunk. one time i got arrested for trying to board a riverboat naked. that was at disneyland. i was at season three of intervention. i'm the one addicted to window cleaner. i'm still paying my sister for crashing her car into an atm. vote kathy vondertrapp for senate. greg: cry babies versus the jerk. the cry babies pretend there were no jerks before trump.

trump talks trash. but does so out in the open. he's a jerk. i'm a jerk. we need a new party for jerks. it's me, i want to be your next governor. in the early 80ss i made a number of films under an assumed name. they were serious porn. this will curl your toes. i cleaned up my act and now i'm totally legit, except for the robbery charges by i pled no contest for. so vote timmy timmons for governor. greg: it's hard to be a jerk. bedside manner for him is for

losers. a bad doctor needs a great personality because he creams losing patients. but trump is all about good news. first he was crazy. then he was hitler. then was racist. now's a big meany. now he's a jerk. hell, let's join the party. >> i'm rodney razor shorts. i'm running for congress. i'm on my third marriage. the first two didn't go so well probably because of the rampant philandering. i live with my parents mainly because i lost my life savings betting on bare knuckle matches in my cousin's basement. i have a few skeletons in my closet, by that i known human bodies.

anyway, i figured this all going to come out in the end anyway, so i may as well beat the press to it. you vote for razorshorts for congress. >> paid for by the jerk party. greg: let's welcome tonight's guest. my co-host on "the five," and she once dated a guy named troy. >> that's not true. >> one of these days we'll find out troy's last name. he's not an idiot, you can believe that. gregg require's dana perino dreg * it's dana perino. if joe devito.

he has a lot of spunk, national review reporter kat timpf. former wwe superstar tyrus. all right. >> usually if you are serving the president of the united states you do it because you are an honorable person with dignity and integrity and class. this joker is not that. the "new york times" decided to publish that. first amendment. a senior administration official could be something as lowly as i used to be when i was a deputy press secretary. that's a legit senior administration official. that means across the entire government.

i could be reaching for the epa regional office in colorado, that could be the person. they say they are being so effective. if that's the case, keep your mouth shut. just do it. greg: i know people like this. they don't like the boss and they are passive aggressive. why aren't you president. you didn't run and you didn't win so shut the f up. >> nobody voted for this person. you can't act like you are a member of the resistance when you are on the same healthcare plan and part of the evil resistance. become a former administration official, say your name. it's interesting saying we are keeping trump from doing damage even though things are going

well. if things are going well and people don't know it's happening and trump doesn't not's happening. keep doing it. you made him look good, you dope. it doesn't make any sense. greg: kat, do you think there is no mole and this was written by the "new york times"? >> i don't know. i think it was written by a mole but it's points's a low-level person. it doesn't have to be a mike pence or a kelly. i think we'll eventually find out who this person is. there is an entire genre of books we'll have, a disgruntle former employee of the trump administration. i think the person is practicing. eventually you will want to be a hero of the left, which he'll be, even though he worked somewhere in the low-level agriculture department.

greg: you mean he was a farmer? >> no, it was the first that came to my head. greg: tyrus, any thoughts on the jerk party? i feel like i could be the first candidate for the jerk party. >> you are the only candidate for the jerk party. listen, everybody, i did the. and i have a reason why. i wanted to be press secretary for a day and they wouldn't let me. so i read a couple phages of all the the bad books, and i wrote a letter and sent it to the new york times. they didn't even call me. so i did it. greg: i can accept that on face value. so it's up to the "times" to

dispute this. >> i did it. he wouldn't let me be press secretary for a day so i said how horrible it was to work for him. omorosa did it. but i did it. greg: it is possible this person will avail himself before this show airs. >> they just did, i don't understand. why is it so difficult. i did it. i have it on my iphone. i will give it to you after the show. >> this is a person being given the advantage of being called a senior administration official. while you have the benefit and power there, you can bet this person is out scouting for their next private sector job which they will probably have a higher salary and a higher title and more power.

so it's a real jerk move. greg: conservative editor at "vanity fair." six figures. >> for real? then i did it. greg: was this woman sending secret racist messages during the kavanaugh hearing or just ♪motorcycle revving ♪ motorcycle revving ♪motorcycle revving ♪ motorcycle revving ♪ no matter who rides point, ♪ there are over 10,000 allstate agents riding sweep. ♪♪ and just like tyrone taylor, they know what it takes to help keep you protected. are you in good hands?

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>> outrage lingers over her fingers. it was the first day of the kavanaugh hearings and the accused her of flashing a white our sign. amy siskind accused a spin retweeted all over, a social media model that targeted the woman whose grandparents were holocaust survivors, people who knew a mob when they saw one but once the panic was exposed, did the pitchfork pinheads walk it back? this guy deleted her to not becauseshe said it was wrong but because it distracted from trumps white supremacist policies.

this is mob action . when your tear is debunked, you run off to target someone else so blood on your sport still dripping because the mob always has a thirst for scouts and without theswarm, these lonely people are just title planks. by the way, thursday night, nina bass made the sign again . and the tweets started again. is she trolling? is she racist or telling someone okay? let's look at thetape . >> dictated from above by the government's i think someone asked her how big agolf ball was . anyway, it makes me wonder what other hand gestures have we overlooked . >> it happened at the brett kavanaugh confirmation hearings. we were told former law clerk nina bash was contorting her fingers in a secret coded

sign to white supremacists. with this singular offense or just a piece of a sinister unsolved puzzle? nina bash appeared to make okay jester on september 4 or the number of fingers and famously held up by president nixon as he departed the white house. what was nixon secretly trying to tell us? if you did subtract four slices from a pizza, this resembles the half-moon. this was the lunar phase on 1970 the same day black sabbath released their debut album. later, black sabbath vocalist ronnie james dio would be the first popularizing the devil horns handgesture. that same gesture is known as the holcomb horns .texas, where george w. bush governed before winning the presidency. could miss bash be trying to tell and unwitting america

that is being governed by a secret cabal of satanists leading this christian nation into hell and excruciating chaos and who could behind this? who works for george w. bush? we don't know. we're just asking questions. >>. [laughter] 24 2 today. i've got to go to you first because have you ever made a hand gesture ... >> would you like one right now?i thought she was playing a game i used the play at school paul called scope are. you go likethis and you'd say scope or quit looking and her body was like, do it again . she said okay so the person who asked the question, because they areback there trying to do work for him

while he's getting asked a ridiculous question so he might say okay . that's why it waswhen it was . but people want to know what this is all the time. i'm not going to tell you. it cracks me up. she said okay. >> dana, was it smart for her to troll people at the end? >> it doesn't look like it, when you play the actual tape . it's a way because you have to be silent during the hearings so you have to use a signal and we all know what this means, it means okay, it's not white supremacy. but if she was trolling, i sent her $100. >> joe, what do you make of the hearings in particular? >> i think it's some sort of hand burka so no one gets distracted. this gesture as a white supremacist gesture is complete nonsense, it was a

joke started on 4chan years ago, a gesture in hindu and buddhist cultures but suddenly white supremacist, are they having a membership drive? it's the mexican jews. the whole thing is nonsense and i don't worry about it because i'm in new york all the time so my handsare curled in impotent rage . >> cast, one of two options. you can talk about the hand or you can talk about cory booker and i can roll something. >> i really do want to talk about the hand. >> let's talk about the hand. >> i'm disturbed that people are looking that closely at other people's hands because i really need a manicure and i don't want to gobecause that part at the end where you have to sit there like this for what feels like forever . i mean, it's an oppressive amount of time where your left there with nothing but your own thoughts, looking in

the mirror. you can't to, you can't test, you're sitting there like this and a lot of people looking at your fingers would be satisfied? i'm done with it. >> that was almost as impressive as cory booker. do we have time to roll cory booker? >> i understand that comes with potential ousting from the senate and sent senator cornyn believes i violated senate rules, accept the consequences. this is the closest i will ever have in my life and i am spartacus moment. >> now he will never be known by any other nickname buys but spartacus. that really sucks. i feel bad for him.also, we talked about this yesterday that he's basically saying i'm taking arisk for

something that was approved . >> it's like insisting you're going to pay for the breadsticks at olive garden and they say they're free. no, i'm going to pay. i kinda do imagine it would be fun if and booker were the candidates in 2020. >> it would be amazing amazing. >> spartacus could be his nickname . >> if warren was his vp, spartacus and pocahontas. will end on that note. coming up, ijust spit on myself . does the trump make people sad, angry or crazy? does this map show the peninsula trail? you won't find that on a map. i'll take you there. take this left.

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chris wallace sat down with hip for a wide-reaching interview. obama's return to the campaign trail and brett kavanaugh's confirmation hearing. i'm robert gray, now back to "the greg gutfeld show" *. in 79 minutes. the 36-year-old williams was vying for her 26 worldgrand slam title. let there be no doubt , trump is flipping people out. usa today, america's hotel room doormat interviewed folks of all political stripes and concluded that

quote, they are finding it hard to escape the daily drama coming out of the white house. those interviews complained that we have become more tribal, that there's no more middle ground and they still get no wi-fi in their bathroom. one guy said he joinedtwitter just tokeep up with trump's tweets and now i start off every day in a bad mood. he said i don't pay attention now, i'm sick of paying attention. are we overdosing on trump ? maybe. the next time you feel overwhelmed and tired of winning, watch this and feel better . can't beat that. cat, you start off every day in a bad mood. have you noticed any difference? >> know. i wake up every day in a bad mood just because i'm alone but i think that if you're going to be devastated all the time, you should really be devastated about hunger or a loneliness or death. not like, i don't like the

president. seems kind of ridiculous.a lot of conservatives did not like president obama, a lot of people reallydidn't like president obama but i didn't hear about people walking around unable to live their lives . i actually always liked fox. >> icrack myself up . >> i'm going to get an email tomorrow from someone. it's sunday go, they don't email onsunday unless they're really upset . >> you are a winner as well. >> i am a winner. when i wake up, usually i've got a kid going daddy, i want this or somebody saying you should have done that or a message going i didn't get this. by the time i get to trump, my day is screwed. it's a sign of the time we're living in because when things are good, you have time to

vent about things that have nothing to do with your life. unless you live in the white house and every morning, trump doesn't sleep and he does it at 3 am, waking you up, then you'd be like listen, this president isn't working for me. then you have a reason to be mad. because nothing. [bleep] them off more than someone who keeps them up at night so that would cause me to be depressed but i don't live in the white house, i can't even get a one day job the white house so hedoesn't affect me, i've got my own problems. i've got 99 problems but in the morning isn't one . >> that a song . >> it is. >> that is a song. i have a theory. joe trump is like a newly discovered weather pattern that you know you never had so when you wake up it's like you usually think about how hotit's going to be what you

also have to check trump . is there an 80 percent chance of a cold trump or a wendy truck? it's just another variable that you wake up with and say how is trump doing? >> you that way you can bring an umbrella? >> what i recommend, they start off every day and imagine if this was really happening. use it to breakfast and for breakfast i have a rebel and night will. the problem people are having is that they act like a bunch of babies, but what you need to remember is there are people who disagree with you who are kind, thoughtful, honest people and there are people who agree with you are horrible pieces of garbage and once you can except that, you get through life much happier. the media movement was supposed to bring down donald trump but a lot of these left-leaning people at these dummy dudes in their midst who said all the right things and then harvey weinstein, he said i'm going to spend my

time taking on the nra and that's not the right answer to the question but people who disagree with you and the goodpeople. you are not right all the time and they might know something you don't and that would make me a lot happier . >>strong work. why do men with beards always sound so smart . dana? >> i believe this have to do with all the new media outlets. if trump was the presidentin 84, 88, we would look at him as the president and tune in for one year . >> a little good morning america, like 84? the today show? >> writes. >> maybe you would get the paper, men maybe when you go to work you might turn on the radio for 20 minutes and then you would work all day. and then when you got home, you might want half an hour of the news. and then you would turn to your sports for your sitcoms

or your other things thatyou watch, things like that . and then you go to bed.but now, i check in the morning because i want to know if it's polar vortex trump or hurricane trump because that's going to determine your day, you are driving a lot of people in my life quick crazy. i wake up past, i don't need caffeine. 25 stories, got to read this and my producers are probably more entertained. >> i think they're hearing about it . >> that's why i saidit . >> i have a bear trap when you happily wake up. are you still happy? is this good? use lemon juice, you still want to smile? >> your point about working all day is the difference because we still work all day but in front of us is everything we need to keep

monitoring twitter and facebook and tmcbut when you went to work in the 80s, you were at work . >> all this week i got emails from people saying you know who theanonymous op-ed writer is? no, and i really don't care . >> next, viking river cruises has banned all children. (burke) that's what we call a huge drag. seriously, that's what we call it. officially. and we covered it. talk to farmers. we know a thing or two because we've seen a thing or two. ♪ we are farmers. bum-pa-dum, bum-bum-bum-bum ♪ ♪ ♪ they're the moderne stone age family. ♪ ♪ from the town of bedrock. ♪ meet george jetson.

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>> is not on the cruise. viking, the luxury river cruise line, not the scandinavian i was rated most ofeurope , i often get confused say it's banning kids from their voyages and if you bring them with you, viking will throw them overboard into the cave full of ravenous sharks. kind of harsh but pay. they go on to explain that they cater to travelers are

50 and older with mature interests like history and art and while in the past viking has allowed children on board, increasingly people have told us how much they appreciate an environment where they can travel without children. translation, kids and ruin everything. don't applaud, you were once a child. for vikings perspective we turned to my friend for. >> i for one hope he does not have children. joe, what are your thoughts on this? you don't have kids. >> i don't, i would like to havekids for one day but just for one day . look, keep in mindthere were no children on the original viking ships . >> no, they failed to make new ones.

>> with no women relax that policy i agree, i don't want to go where there are no children running around . i looked up their webpage to see. i wonder if that ship doesn't even pull out, it just pulls up in front of a lawn and you you young people get off of it. >> dana, everybodyis trying to bring blame kids but is that part of the deal? they are kind of a burden . >> i like them around sometimes . i would go on this cruise. i've never been on a cruise but i do thisbecause you get to go to lectures and learn things . >>there's a library .>> i want to go on that. >> of course you do. you just want to go to a library that's in the ocean. >> and learn things.

>> and learn things. you can take a break learning. learning for a little bit. cyrus, you're the only one here is reproduced. >> i've reproduced well, i'm a good reproduced her. i'm good at reproducing. i can reproduce right now. listen, i never -- let's start a line at the end. youall want to make babies? let's do this. they'll all be good learners, athletic . >> would you please go and make a point. >> you older ladies, you're still fine. that's my fan base. you could be 60 and still doing this, we just need a wheelchair, some vitamins. you wanted to go there, are you afraid?

>> 1-800-tyrus knock you up. let's do this. >> does it bother you that the cruise line would discriminate against kids? >> know, because i do. i'll be honest with you, go outside, get awayfrom the . i love my children but their own work in progress . so some of their skills that break but honestly, i don't like anyway because i don't fit in them. there's no room for me, so it's actually, i would refer that you send mykids away on a boat . just go. i don't care what kind of boat, just go. >> i believe all this is pointless because once robots and ai takeover,reproduction will be irrelevant . >> that's my question.

>> i always try to find a safe way out. >> i don't want to talk about robots, i thinkit's a good thing .i think that more companies should be offering childrenfree experiences . if i ever get very rich, i want to start my own airline called party row airlines where there are no children and all the drinks, booze in them andthere's karaoke . and the vacation is not only allowed encourage and all the flight attendants have towear togas, bedsheet togas you try that . >>i think i have, actually . either that or it was just a badtrip, i don't know . >> for children, it's just women first we got more of the shop . >> that'sbrilliant!. >> you and i get the choice of booster seats . >> it was going so well.

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four-minute investigation. >> a gutfeld four-minute investigation. >> she's the greatest of vendor of grossly dunking a chicken tender. this nations gag reflexes were tested after a woman get a chicken tender in the cola. that course eatingit . and that's as fascinating as it is disgusting, like when i a can of raw creamed corn and changed it with mrs. butterworth and i was sober. the question is why? why don't a chicken in cola? her father taught her this technique to cool off the chicken tender. smart move, because the other way to cool off doesn't always work . [laughter] we've all been

there, right dana? >> when you burn your tongue it's the worst. >> unless you're into that sort of thing, we don't want to offend thetongue burners . so she has to have two sodas, one for dunking and one for drinking. why? you're going to drink the dunking one with the grease in it? that's sick. >> i haven't had a diet coke in years and i have the shakes about it and i want to do that and think i'd drink that. >> you eat like a bird, meaning you like to dig for worms in the soil and feed it to other birds. thank you forlaughing that . >> on the second time. >> kat, do you have any weird

eating habits? >> i like pineapple pizza, i like to put mustard on egg sandwiches. one time i put relish on popcorn and i quite enjoyed it. the butter and relish complement each other well. this is an abomination and what's even worse is you see in the video she did it in front of the child and i thought we were supposed to be protecting our children from seeing disturbing things, not doing it in front of them. that video should be rated r. no one should be allowed to watch it. i'm a horror movie fan and i've never seen anything that disturbed me asmuch is that . >>if you look closely, it's the wrong mix . that's not a soft, that's a carbonated soda. >> your eatingchicken tenders wrong when a child is mortified . >> she made chicken tenders and chicken tenders. >> she even admitted she was all over.

she's just trying to get as much to you. >> you have any weird things that end up in your beer? >> if you're eating alone in a restaurant and someone gets up to use the restroom,you can eat a fair amount of wood before they come back . you've got time. >> i had a friend of mine who used the corn in the bathroom. >> line? >> to save time because he knew it was going to come out anyway? i don't know why. i don't know why accord that path but it never seems to go through the tollbooth. not like the other food that comes through. >> you got issues with my breathing but you're talking about your car talk. >> i'm not talking about my forms are, the royal we. >> the guy that ate corn in the bathroom, we're pretty to

that information. i don't know if wehave time to go back to the video but it appears tobe a double dip . did you look ? shetook a bite and went back and doubled it . if it was true tocool it off, there we go. there's already a bite mark on that bad boy . that's a double and the child says look at this, she double dip . it's a double dip situation. >> i don't see two sodas, i seeone . >> i think fake news. she's not keeping it real. just say i like to get my chicken in coke. >> how many times have i said that? >> you just can't get out of it. >> i was talking it was more like a drug used thing. >> richard par did it and he blew up. >> don't go anywhere, i know thoughtsnext .

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greg: dana. >> i don't have a final part. i love being on the show. thank you. greg: how nice of you come back joe? >> if you are watching this i will be in atlantic city until wednesday. check it out on itunes and amazon. greg: tyrus. >> i have a new series called the purge. it's awesome. check it out. [applause] greg: it's not on the food network. >> no. >> i want to one up tyrus, i've never had a cavity.

[applause] >> neither have i. greg: i've had more cavities than i care to remember. how does this happen? jesse: welcome to. "watters' world." i'm jesse watters. president trump and president obama with back-to-back speeches. but their points of view couldn't be more different. here is president trump on jobs. president trump: we added 400,000 manufacturing jobs the democrats were gone and we are going up to 600,000. african-american unemployment i