you know that doesn't have one. and, tune into wise guys tomorrow night right here on fox news at 8:00 p.m. eastern. i will be the guest. i'm jeanine pur truth, justice, and the american way. the greg gutfeld show is coming up next. see you next saturday night, same place, same time, same me. >> the demo. >> of the democrats have turned. i love you too. who said that? who said that? it's finally a woman. i get it from them and all of the time. so far, every guy that said i love you they're just not my type. >> greg: don't knock it until you try. this is the greatest country on

earth. among our natural resources an endless supply of idiots, they are everywhere. you don't even need to frak them. here's a weeks worth right here. first up is liz warren. otherwise known as chief spreading bowl. [laughter] after years of being accused of lying of her native american background, she decides to take a dna test, creating a video with laughable results. >> the president likes to call my mom a liar. what are do the facts say? >> the facts suggest that you have native american ancestry in your pedigree. >> greg: wow. that looked totally natural. she got any stiffer i would check for the toe tag. talk about a paleface. it's telling that they chose

some stanford academic to connect these terrible results, they just knew they were about to painted turtle orange and call it sherbet. when the results arrived, it amounted to something between nearly zero and nearly zero. like .09. if your iq was .09, you would be granted. if they gave her a breathalyzer, she would be over the legal limit of stupid. as a wise man once said, when it comes to cherokee, she has more in common with the jeep. maybe she could be there spokesman. the slogan, unlike me this cherokee is not fully -- so, think about what she pulled off. one law school directory listed her as native american for nine years. harvard has her as native american until 2004. she was called the harvard law first woman of color. then the cookbook. powwow child. recipes from five indian tribes. she listed herself as cherokee. yes and i am -- from abba.

[laughter] actually, i did some research to find out who has more native american blood than her, here they are. -- from abba anna freed from abba, and the other guy from abba. hard to believe. i actually did more research to find out who has more native american blood than her, flipper. my office stapler, this helmet. so, we spent a long time being lectured by left-wing a holes about what not to wear in hollowing. better not wear sombrero, amigo. hands off the headrest. cultural appropriation is so evil. by all means, they totally claim culture and exploit it for political purposes. hasn't she committed the biggest

sin ever. she still who they are. i can talk, i am 2% native american. it's true. that's more indian than she is. meaning, i am native american. i know what i'm going as for halloween. [laughter] so, could this be the end of identity politics? if dna tests reveal that you contain the same amount of oppressive ancestry then you are oppressed too. if everyone's a minority, the nobody is, except me. as you know, i did do my own dna test on the vibe and then i did a video. >> hi, gregg got felt. my ancestry is incredibly rich. remember the donner party. he never went hungry. i'm proud of my family's roots. i decided to take a dna test on the results were fascinating.

turns out on 40% british and irish. 9% iberian. 2% native american, and 20% minotaur. in 20% giant sequoia. one of my granddad had a thing for trees. i'm 30% centaur which explains why it's hard to get jeans that fit. at this point, i know what you're thinking that adds up to more than 100%. how can that be? i will tell you. it's because i am the gargantuan double beasts that feast on the souls of the dead. i am of infinite manifestation. fueled by -- there's the wrath of my mutilation as i tear at the wrath of your naked cowering

-- >> got felt 2020,. >> don't applaud. that monstrosity. that was really unexpected. the other idiot this week, the litigating lollipop, michael evan eddie. he had been using various victims to attract the spotlight for himself. when he finally finds the spotlight, this happens. this week the judge ruled in favor of donald trump instruments defamation case in order that he she pay trump legal fees. that's their way of saying her lawyers given lawyers a bad name. think about that. she is a porn star and her lawyer so bad that suddenly her career looks respectable. she used to get paid to screw

people, abba netting just screwed her and she had to pay him. [laughter] he is to lawyers what they are to indians, and embarrassment. it has been a week of backfiring. everything blew up in their faces. the dna test exposes them and they expose him as bozo. u.s. job openings hit -- pretty soon you're going to need a dna test to prove that you are an unemployed american. that's pretty good for trump but it may not be good for liz warren and avenatti. there may be 7 million job openings but we still have at least two more idiots than what we need. [applause] let's welcome tonight guest.

prescription for your affliction, host of doctor drew midday live, doctor drew pinsky. he split more size than a butcher on meth. jimmy phelan. >> she's the pinnacle of cynical, cap tim. [applause] and, he always has his heads in the cloud, tyrus. >> doctor drew, you are a dr., what did senator warn accidentally due to herself this week. >> my program i've found that i had native american call us and say that they each did their own character for heritage. for cherokee in particular you have to register with the indian affairs department.

you have to show your heritage back to a given individual to call yourself cherokee. they were deeply offended by this. it was the ultimate appropriation. >> she tried to steal their identity. it's an outrage. >> not as outrageous as this jacket. >> this is my oldest guy in the boy band, and looked like the guy they won't fire because i can buy them beer after the show. they do come in men's. i actually do think she disqualified herself. the reason i say that is not because of what trump will do but because of what her own party will do in the primaries. nobody is tougher on you than when you script and your friends. like the time you said you are native american. she is never going to live this down for the rest of her life. >> joe biden must be pleased as

punch. camilla harris, cory booker, she's gone, i don't know that there's any way she could. >> she outed herself as done. anyone who thought this was acceptable proof based on the results, it's like telling someone you have a hot girlfriend but the only picture in your wallet it is clearly from a magazine. >> i only did that once. katz, for your birthday you're going to be showing up in a coffin. the year like the lifestyle of the day, you're as bad as she is. >> i'm dead on the inside. so, this story i was sitting around my apartment earlier this week, shocking i know. i was thinking the only friend that i know that lives close to me anywhere in the city is a

cat. i wake up and there is the cats. it during the day there is the cat. >> so, if liz warren is 11024th native american, i have to be at least 11000/24 cap. if you don't think that cap human culture is this thing, it's definitely a thing. you walk around with close covered in it. we buy frozen meals. we own wine stoppers, who are we kidding. >> wishful thinking. >> tyrus, where do we go with this? >> i checked out when the green dude showed up. you have lost your damn mind. the. >> greg: are you talking about

-- >> don't start eating people. >> greg: i can say i probably did not write that sober. >> this is what these days that i am so happy i did not have grandparents. it was her lying grandparents forgot her in this mess. your great-grandfather was a chief cherokee indian. how many people heard that like everybody says the same thing and just one. more than two then you're out of the game. it is always that one. she believed whatever weird nickname she had for grandpa. so much so that her team was like this was not a good idea. my grandfather told me, it is true. now, we have to deal with not only is she not native american

but i think she already knew nobody made jokes and there is no teasing going on, but now she has to face the presidents of the united states of america. every time they are in the hallway he's going to be like hey stop guaranteed. >> i was just thinking whoever put that up was the same one who put that video up. >> it's saturday night and right now she is home shocked that she didn't win the mega millions. she thinks 102 million is a good chance. >> greg: what freaked out the media this week, everything. we will pair tonto five minute segment. that's next. so i can buy from

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>> greg: joe, mika, matthews, lemma, cuomo, they're not just the names of my nipples, dr..

thanks for correcting me. they are also the usual media suspects who predictably played all the antitrust notes this week. a little 25th amendment crap. >> if you are working for president who is not fit to leave. was going to do something crazy in five minutes, one hour, tonight or tomorrow. what more do you need to hear from him to start thinking 25th amendment or something else? >> greg: i think we need a 25th amendment for her. don't forget to bash his supporters. >> saudi arabia was supposed to be our ally. we are not surprised at the presidents pathetic response. america's morally drift foreign policy in the age of trump and at a time when -- is uniquely march in lockstep behind immorally disabled president.

>> greg: that means trader. i seem to remember she and her bf love trump. they kissed his. now they hate him. why is that? my theory, to them, trump is like the x who dumped them. he is the worst guy ever until he takes them back because you know they will come crawling on their hands and knees, they always do. then there is horse face. >> course face area that's what the man who holds the seat of abraham lincoln said about yet another woman was in his way. why else would he come across so spiteful as to wonder what was done to this man to make him talk like an 8-year-old crying through his peanut butter and jelly sandwich? >> now i'm hungry. >> so where's the lemon? >> i usually don't like to talk about people looks. does he own amir? he keeps talk about people gaining weight and how people look. does he own amir that doesn't have vaseline over it were a cloth? donald trump is no prize. >> greg: i know you are, but what am i.

so many broken souls. what do they say to their therapists? >> i said to my therapist, do you think it is wrong for me to go alone it's election night. she said you have to stop it. always a negative place in your head. i went there and i actually got physically sick. and i thought to myself, this cannot be happening. >> greg: that's how i feel when i saw her movies. i hate to think what will happen to all of them if trump gets warmer years. >> jimmy, do you think the media can keep up this pace of eternal outrage for former years? this is definitely unhealthy for them. >> there's two things they don't get. one he has gotten so synonymous with insulting people that people almost want to be insulted now. it's like people are like to me. i think that is part of it.

if you have ever had a friend tell you about a coworker who is crazy, but the more your friend talks the more you realize the coworkers normal and they are bad insane. >> greg: that is so true. the friend is okay and then the person you have been listening to is not. >> doctor drew. >> i like me some crazy. i'm falling in love with mika. she taught me a new word to. i've been preoccupied by, quisling. it comes from the world war ii, from norway. at the time he was start to be -- he knew everything and made a bad bet. he decided to get in bed with hitler and deal with them. >> bad bets. >> after things didn't work out quisling became synonymous with trader. really he's a intellectual.

to really be a quisling you have to be just like my love, mika. so much that's going on in the world people are seeing projections of themselves and their own stuff there reacting against and then calling it out on the other side. that's managing unregulated aggression. it's unhealthy but thank you mika for quisling. >> greg: we learned a lot about doctor drew. tyrus, do you have advice for the media and how to understand trump? >> you have to roast him better. if i was to pick a fight with him. i would only do it if i had a book coming out. not yet. you have to play his game better than him. it's not personal. when you roast and pick on somebody, it is all in fun. he called home girl horse face. i had tears in my eyes from my heart. i was crying so hard.

it is such a bad burn. like, anybody else said horserace you like grow up, jackass. because he said over like he called her horse face. i'm sorry #not me, we were all laughing. then to think about it and break it down a little bit, she did talk about that's cold-blooded. >> she put the mario cart before the horse. >> it's not like if you are in the park and you're going back and forth, bigfoot chubb and horse face. then everybody starts running around. did he just say that? i love it. let's be real, remember kids, the horses a horn away from being a unicorn. that's most beautiful thing in the world. >> greg: b6, your negative all the time.

they need trump right now because they make him feel awful. >> i have had a meltdown or two before. i am a passionate person and i live a passionate life. doctor drew is the one who gets all of the phone calls during every one of my meltdowns in the text messages. stream of conscious text messages. but, the difference between my milltown in the meltdowns the left are having, i am not proud of myself when i have them. i look at that kat and i say i don't like that kat very much. the people on the left think that makes him some hero. if having a meltdown makes you hero than i recently saw a toddler who wanted juice who really deserves a purple heart. >> greg: on that note, coming up

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>> greg: that taylor swift. but, enough about my speedy garment maker. [laughter] mercy clapping. mercy clapping. i will take it anyway. the singer endorsed another democrat this week. congressman jim cooper, i don't care. earlier she endorsed another democrat, i still don't care. meanwhile texas congressman beto o'rourke is trying to out seat ted cruz. there calling him kennedy asked. he sure drives like one. speaking of texas, someone really hates ted cruz. >> be careful. i have about 100 of these. i'm about to put more out.

>> i'll feel better about this. >> i hate ted cruz. i hate ted cruz. i've been out -- i think i found my halloween costume. as we countdown to the midterms like turned to the count down correspondence. hourglass joe. how much time is left till election day november? >> 700 billion grains of sand until election day. >> how can you be sure of that? >> i counted them. >> greg: 700 billion grains of sand. can you convert that into a measurement we understand? >> a little more than two weeks. >> greg: would that be easier for you to say that? >> you're probably right. that was a dumb idea.

>> greg: that's okay. if that's how far we are from november, how far are we from the 2020 election? >> that would be about 7.5 trillion grains of sand to the third power. >> greg: actually is 745 days, i can just say that. >> you're right. why did i count all the sand? it could've had a family, wife and kids. a real life. >> greg: joe, what is that in your hand? >> the scorpion. the deadliest venom on earth. it can kill ten men. i'm going to eat it. my time is up. >> greg: i guess we lost hourglass joe. i don't know what happenings to these segments but they're going in a dark, dark direction. >> i felt a little bit better because 700 billion is slightly more what were suspended in california to a fast train to

nowhere. it is not yet built at all. >> greg: way to save this segment. >> i'm just saying. i thought that was about the biggest some i could think of what were spending in california for that train. >> greg: how do you feel about the midterms? >> i feel like there could be surprises. people are very afraid to say what they intend to do and maybe they don't know what they intend to do. i asked on my radio show, is donald trump affecting you going to the polls. people were all over the place. a lot of people are saying because i am angry, sad, and scared of things like a mob coming up through mexico and the way people behave around kavanaugh. >> greg: escott adam said, might be the biggest turnout in history. he is never wrong, tyrus. never. you're still thinking about the scorpion, aren't you? >> have you had some weird dreams this week? >> greg: i have been using a lot of zeke will. i think it's affecting me.

>> have you been watching a lot of french films? you're all weird. what was the question? >> i don't remember. >> is like is it going to be i don't know. the was the scorpion there the whole time? in his pocket? plan with an hourglass? >> it took a lot of preparation for this. >> i want you drug tested after the show. i'm not going down with the ship. i been fired a lot. i can put that on my resume. >> oddly enough, he's only 11000. >> greg: don't you feel like we should let the democrats at least when something maybe before they have a countrywide nervous breakdown? >> people always say were on the verge of a civil war.

no were not. that involves people getting out of their house. the only way were fighting the civil wars of someone builds an app. fortnight as the civil war. i love that taylor swift came out made an endorsement. two days later he dumped that for katy perrty endorsement. but i think it's ridiculous. the idea that hillary is back on the scene and positioning herself for another run, what is the statue of limitations on her running? will be at rallies next year chanting help her up. [applause] thoughts on taylor swift? >> is just interesting the way our culture think so you look good dancing around in the leotard. i should care what you think of me who is voting. i don't get it. voting for me is like every morning you get out of bed, sometimes you have those thoughts like what i'm doing

really matter? when i get out of bed on the day i vote i know it to definitely doesn't because i vote libertarian. >> greg: i vote new york so i know it doesn't matter at all. mothers will just throw it away. no, i don't really vote,. >> up next, nancy pelosi says something really crazy. [applause] hey guys. today we're here to talk about trucks. i love trucks. what the heck is that?! whoa! what truck brand comes from the family of the most dependable, longest-lasting full-size pickups on the road? i think it's the chevy. ford. is it ford? nope, it's not ford. i think it's ram. is it ram? not ram. that's a chevy! it's chevy! that's right. from the family of the most dependable, longest-lasting full-size pickups on the road. gorgeous. chevy hit it out of the ballpark with these.

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>> it crazy, yes, sexist, absolutely. the wall is a manhood issue? i don't understand, were not putting missiles on the border. if anything it's more like a chastity belt. sue make even more come up pelosi wants to go toe to toe on the wall. but after two years of a strong economy and low unemployment you think he's not going to get his wall? the man is on a winning streak i want him to buy me a powerball ticket. i'm so convinced hill when i've already bought spot days for everyone. >> i think it is that the death metal that brings it home.

kat, what would you rather have, house speaker nancy pelosi or border wall. >> this is the favorite part of my job when gregg asked me about the wall. all of our viewers want the wall and i have to explain that i don't like the wall, i think we could do it in a cheaper way by removing wild welfare incentives so that gangs have no reason to come here and then people on follow me on twitter even though i'm a nice girl with a nice family. but i'm confused about the most and nancy's comments come as i thought that the left didn't believe in gender at all. now, walls have gender? i thought they also didn't believe in gender roles so only men can like the wall? i know there are some women who support the wall. probably here. there you go, there are many

more and they all just don't follow me on twitter because of this segment even though i'm a very nice girl with a very nice family. >> greg: what you make of this? >> nancy pelosi talks big smack because her party hates her. the only keep her as a friend because she can fund raise. she's like the girl who is a senior with a car so people hang out with her. like you can't stand her but if you can bring your mix tapes and she can hook you up with beer i like nancy. she can relax to. she's in her late hundreds. i don't believe she means any of it. i've seen younger faces on money. it is hard for me to watch because i don't want to hate on her. but we are ready have offense, how did the fence get there? we had to agree at some point it's worth having a border. she said it's a manhood issue, it is. he's the only one with a manhood to make this promise of

follow-through. forty years of politicians have said that's fix immigration. >> tyrus? >> i wonder what would happen if i was on the five and i said the wall is a woman thing. like a giant pad. well, damn, i just did it. was cool for her though, manhood but we can't make womanhood jokes, #not me. where the protests for her? shouldn't she resign. where they talk about manhood. most of us keep it covered for a reason. if we are proud of it it would be out all of the time. we don't have low-cut jeans. our manhood is sacred we they are bashing manhood. she should have to step down. it's only fair. >> bless her heart, countries

don't have borders? >> literally it's what makes you country. first you draw the border and then you establish the country. what happened in guatemala today? they blew through the fence. >> countries don't put up fences and borders? what is she talking about. i just had to re- up my global access thing. >> that's a pain in the. >> it's shakedown time. they want your everything. >> greg: i only travel to the middle earth. >> do you think guatemalans wish they had a wall when they ran over the fence? mcmahon. >> you know my favorite part of the whole thing? everybody said trump is racist towards mexicans so if he gets reelected they'll move to canada. mexico is close. sue mcguire guatemalans happy to be in mexico.

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>> greg: you want to look stupid

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>> you are right man. >> you want to encourage him. >> let's get through this. we'll have to get out of here and get drunk. tyrus, would you wear that? >> no. i have an entertainment job. this is garbage. this is the man's last attempt, you can see the sexual harassment you can hear them coming you can see witnesses to help testify. put this on darling. that's what it is. this is terrible. for real, that in the household, honey come up with this on i'll be in the other room. oh don't worry about her, she's got the blinders on.

>> jamie, good idea? >> no. if you really want to keep coworkers focus let them talk to their coworkers. because after two conversations you never want to talk to them again. we say everybody needs a friend that all told there but looks big in their pants. every guy needs a friend who will tell them they don't care about your fantasy football team. on monday i'm tired about people tell me about the past weekend and then on friday telling you about what they're doing. weekends are not important to me. don't tell me about your weekend. >> you have gone all the way down to middle earth. i love these things. i hate cubicles. there impersonal. sue make this is way more personal? >> your own little private idaho. don't wear it in the elevator. but why not put a feed bag on anna blinder, will be already there. >> and then attached to a diaper. >> do not go there.

smack a catheter. we have a lot of commercials for catheters. sue make their loving this. >> greg: i could see you wearing this with the built-in vapor. >> this show is the one hour week when i'm breathing actual air. it's very good for me. i just think it would be great to completely wall us off from each other. great for productivity. this is terrible. you want to know why? i can't see anyone. if i know that everyone else's wearing them i know they can't see me either. what is there left to stop me from watching teen mom re- once on the aphis. having a hard time as it is. >> greg: in technology would be able to know that. i monitor your behavior at work all the time. i know things. >> i did have a very angry phone

call with my dermatologist. >> i learned a lot about the effects of accutane. >> accutane is great because you know what your face feels like if it were and how without actually having to make the trip. >> i believe that is called watching the samantha b show. >> wow. what a scream for that. what a scream for that. >> greg: final thoughts are up if you want to get take the most details about your family history. my pie chart showed that i'm from all over europe, but then it got super specific. i learned my people came from a small region in poland, and even a little bit of the history about why they might have migrated during that time.

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you i have a final thought. i have a file juiceture. kat is always talk about not having friends and stuff. so i bought you a gift that is kind of like a friend, will always be with you, won't argue with you, will always smile at

you. so happy birthday. it's so good. kat: oh, my god, it's tyrus. my birthday isn't until the 29th so i got lucky early. i will put this right next to my bed. greg: doc? >> why it is we are as tribal and crazy as we have gotten. nobody talks about the underlying issues. >> i am performing on the board walk to make back my gambling

losses. so used the code word devil's triangle. greg: thanks [♪] jesse: welcome to. "watters' world." i'm jesse watters. remember when president obama said this in 2016 about president trump telling crowds he'll bring jobs back to america. >> when somebody says like you person you just mentioned that i won't advertise for. he's going to bring all these jobs back. how exactly is he going to do that? how is he going to do that? there is no answer to it.