thanks. i'm jeanine. advocating for truth, justice and the american way. greg gutfeld is next. see you next saturday night. >> the lyrics to billy joel are the fire -- putin is in the black sea, traders in the gop, nukes are loose, mueller takes a tighter news, [inaudible]. greg: he left out morning joe sure does below. [laughter] [applause] greg: here was george herbert walker bush when he just turned 20. after risking his life for his

country on numerous bomber missions, he was shot down and rescued at 20. what was i doing at 20? greg: i'm not what you call a poster boy for heroism i have flat feet would give you up for a slice of poundcake. it's easy to draw comparisons between then and now, 60 million americans fought in world war ii but today 60 million people watch this. >> that is repaired by giving you so much of my time and energy. no, i've given you everything, lisa. greg: yeah, lisa. yeah.

that's no dig at now but just to point out a connection between two errors. all of our entertainment and leisure time was enabled by the bravery of people you might never have met. if you have one of the 16 million in your claim, i salute you. you are lucky. they made my idiocy possible. to quote john kerry in a tweet he sent to me -- for once, the driftwood dracula was right. the only reason why i can be a full today is because someone was a hero yesterday. thank you, john, to quote one of your special friends -- ♪ ♪.

greg: when he had hair. looking back but the price of nostalgia is for getting a present. rate men and women today do out they were protecting you and me. our military, law-enforcement, border police patrol so do not mistakenly believe this is a generation of video gaming sofa servers. many women die every day for this country. although at times it's hard to remind yourself that the rest of us aren't all idiots, check out this tweet from slate about bush's service dog. imagine being that right or whether pushes dog deserves all the attention. today i will put that much in its place. skews me, lifelong companion. sully is not 94 years old.

[laughter] that is late. sorry, slate. sully can't steal your hotplate because he doesn't read slate. he's a dog. a smart dog. for one more day you are a silly, silly rat. others in the media kept an eagle. my god, what was up with his jacket? >> he walks into the natural cathedral and the other presidents are seated, he is wearing his overcoat. he takes it off and hands said crumpled overcoat to the young marine officer who was acting as his escort. what is going on there? why did he not just leave the coat in the back of the seat? greg: i handed to brian, focusing on the big picture. when he isn't busy making up crap. 's price he did not say he was

there by looking at the footage. you can't see me but a )-right-parenthesis truck. they're so obsessed with trump that he missed the coolest thing. check this beer doubt. see the spirit coming? imagine what you could hide in that beard. i could hide in that beard. i could hide in there for a week. meanwhile, others use the funeral as another excuse to trash the president. >> what's really going on right now is a national reaction to trump. matter what we say or don't say it's a reaction to what we have and we miss that part of decency and honor. greg: thank you, chris. he's more off-base than a drunk shortstop. here's washington post headline -- obviously, that's a lie. even i can't stand and sit at the same time. even in a time of reverence in unity they miss the point.

if only tom's head would sprout horns, spin around and spew fire. it trump did not go, he gets lamp and he does go, he gets slammed. what is ironic about all of this is what did the funerals elevate most? when he thought of mr. bush what did you think most about? patriotism, duty, family, faith. isn't that the stuff that's openly mocked today by pop-culture and the media, academia? for people who believe the earth is flat than believing in anything and yet this week those were the things that mattered. weird isn't it? when you look at death not thinking about identity or jackets for the resume of a service but but i hope you learn something. think about this. president george herbert walker bush fought in world war ii, flew 58 combat missions, shut down, rescued then he turned 21. think about that.

later he ran the cia, helped and the cold war and rescued kuwait from iraq. yet in 1992 he still lost to bill clinton. just as bob dole did four years later. why? because it's amazing life put him at a certain age. no more heroes please, we'll take the young philanderer. we have thought it over and decided the same people who make shallow decisions about you made one about him. you just have to laugh. that's the other big message here. bush was funny. here is truth. >> last payment i will have on broccoli. there are truckloads of broccoli at this very minute descending on washington. my family is divided. i do not like broccoli and i'm not locked it liked it since i was a little kid and my mother

made me eat it and i'm president of the united states and are not going to eat anymore broccoli. [laughter] greg: when we talk about banishing heroism don't forget banishing humor. humor is what holds the operation, civilization, together. the only way to celebrate hate is to shame sensor humor from the world. jokes connect people eliminate them and we won't falling on the floor laughing but falling on the floor. it's why the real heroes don't fight communism and hitler but people who can take a damn joke. humorless creeps seem to be everywhere and reproducing. as we gain that kind of noxious non- hero we lose men like bush. according to the department of veteran affairs roughly 496,777 american veterans were estimated to still be alive at the september 2018. what does that tell you? they are still here. half a million of them. they're not making more and we should make it a point to talk with them, learn from them and

share a laugh with them because this week we lost at least one and if we lose more, and that friends, is no joke. [applause] let's welcome tonight's guests. he's more country than a mudflap made of daisy dukes from the duo big and rich, john rich. [cheering and applause] if jokes were smoking be the marble man. jimmy. [cheering and applause] nice jacket. the hostess with the most is, captains two he's responsible for most solar eclipses, former wwe superstar and might massive sidekick, tyrus. [cheering and applause] greg: thank you. i love how you are just a day.

>> merry christmas, greg the five not talking about you but the extra from new kids on the block. >> merry christmas. i would like to give a shout out to my 86 -year-old granny rich who watches your show. she smokes a pack of marlboro reds everyday and drinks whiskey every night and still pulled a 40 hour week and made this jacket and jeans. greg: wow. what you are saying is if i a pack of cigarettes and drink booze i can become an excellent seamstress. [laughter] >> it is possible. i wrote a song about my grandfather was a world war ii vet in the pacific and a tunnel rat so he's a little guy, 115 and joined at 17 and lied about his age to get fight and we heard the stories and at six purple hearts and went over to the pacific and thought i wrote a song called the good lord.

on george bush 85th birthday i sang that song but missed him because he was jumping out of an airplane and then call me back and said i was on stage playing a big and rich concert and let me this incredible voicemail thanking me for the song and i'm so glad i missed the call because now i have the message. greg: that's true but you played it for me. or it is dana garvey. >> but the bad literally save the world and we know there's half a million left and if you get a chance to see one of those men shake their hand and give them a hug and say thank you for what you did for our country. hitler was coming after us and bombed pearl harbor and coming from both sides america stood up, showed its might and ran them off. that's what happened. greg: and jimmy, talking about the greatest generation how do you feel about yourself right now? >> i thought this look good when

i walked out of the house today. i walked feeling like a million bucks and then i caught a longshot beer on the subway and i look like a stripper who let him go. you know what i mean? i call this the tragic mike look. but to your point and scared about us losing the greatest generation because country is going in a scary direction. we are incentivizing these kids to be whips. in new york, we make fun of what we would call southern rednecks because of a stereotypical thing to do but i thank god for that. they're the only ones raising tough kids. are you with me? if isis shows up tomorrow you're not calling hugs, hopper in vain. you're calling bobby joe, bubba and cletus. they will take isis out using rifles they got for their tenth birthday. i'm with mr. rich. greg: all right, cat? kat: i love that photo of the

service dog laying in front of the casket. how dare anyone make fun of th that. greg: what was this person thinking. kat: dogs are so great. if i ever die which i may -- >> i don't know. kat: my kat would walk up and lay down next to me but it would be to eat my face. [laughter] greg: that's acat. it's almost like your second pricing yourself. yeah, i suppose which makes me almost a military hero. i'm just kidding. i'm not. i'm grateful for all the veterans because personally based on the amount of anxiety i get from janke i cannot go to war. greg: i'm bar them from combat as can be. tyrus, thoughts? tyrus: i thought it was a great week to remember what's important in this country. i thought george bush junior speech of his father was

powerful and amazing and i don't have a dad but if i did i would hopefully talk about him like that. wow, dads do all that. wow. it was cool. at the same time i did a lot of laughing. the president, if he doesn't go to the funeral, he's the worst man on the planet. he goes to the funeral, reaches over and shakes the hand of an adversary, classy move, obama shook his hand back and still was the worst man in the world. we can't win with you. that was the story, not the amazing bureau in time to forget about division and politics but still were like no we need a trump story. he did not shake hands with obama. let's do it. run it. that's where rat and it's simple. greg: we have to move on but about planning your own funeral is a lot of pressure and george bush wrote half of his own plan.

i have one page i came up with it. don't drop the ashes. don't invite anyone from maroon five. open bar but no fancy drinks because i don't like lines. they should be quick and a weekday city can take a day off. [applause] straight ahead, 40 democrats may run in 2020, place, the xfinity xfi gateway.

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simple. easy. awesome. click or visit a retail store today. greg: looks like a ton are expected to run. >> we will have 30, 40 great candidates writing for president. they recognize how urgent this moment is in the history of our country. greg: he knows his stuff. forty candidates in the debates will be 6000 hours long. personally, i'd rather watch this for 6000 hours. greg: amazing stuff. who are the 40 candidates? joe biden who said he still thanks the only guy who cannot knock out from adding -- there

is a campaign slogan. meanwhile, bruce springsteen says trump is bound to win again because the dems don't have anyone who can match his rhetoric. springsteen even wrote a new song about it. ♪ ♪ ♪ greg: i don't know could be the song of the year. >> that's greg gutfeld, america got issue. greg: jimmy, that was my impression. i thought it was pretty close. by the way, now that i have your attention barely isn't

springsteen talking about himself? he's a common man and left-wing populist. if trump is the right-wing populist he's the left so why does he not run? >> he says he's a pretend populace. he did not grow up in the world like -. greg: northern california or something like that. >> go back to your video with the dog honking the horn. more qualified to drop then beto o'rourke. [laughter] greg: nice. [applause] >> i love when people added skateboards to the rallies and i was like he has to. greg: he doesn't have a license anymore. >> but there lineup does look like a short nato movie. these are all people who not been on tv and forever young people no one cares about. know what i mean? greg: i have a theory that this

is what happened with the republicans with a bunch of people will be that contrast between the similarities in one outlier. >> you know i were any santa claus suit? here's my thought. i think donald trump should treat the democratic nominees as if they are a celebrity impotence. greg: good point he should give them tasks and -- i was on celebrity apprentice and i did win. i played for saint jude children's research and i won. i raised twice as much money as pierce morgan, by the way but no. what if trump tweeted democratic nominees staff as if it were. greg: i don't know if they'd pay attention but it would be hilarious. >> let them see who rises -- you know bernie will get it. greg: i think so too.

we'll get a progressive but tyrus, your prediction. tyrus: then, rosa is getting cut first. but she'll be there. greg: i did not think of that benign listen, i will bet lunch i will name you the top three right now and i don't care, 45000, it'll be biden, bernie, and hillary. it will be the same. [crowd boos] tyrus: listen, what do you care? it's an easy win. you should be encouraged third time is the charm. you literally should get behind it. greg: i think kamala harris will make a strong run. >> i think you'll get a surprise benign this is the same situation the -- this is where barack obama and donald trump have similarities. they have such a phenomenal control of their people and base no one wants to go head-to-head.

it sounds good on paper and the democrats can see that will get the house and senate but whoever will go up will go to the slaughter. why not send hillary one more time. you know what i'm saying? literally, if i'm in a small closet and punching whoever is coming in the line to go in is not long. if you send someone in you pick the one person in the crowd you don't like and that's what -- go ahead, hillary. you got this. greg: cap, thoughts? kat: i do have some. i think it's hilarious when people say i'm the most qualified to be the president. hillary said the same thing and joe biden says it now because actually you don't get to decide that. you don't get to decide what qualifies me, the voters get to decide what qualified means. it could be anything. if voters decided that the most

important thing was which candidate is the best at super mario and you weren't good at super mario, you would not be qualified with it all up to the voter. greg: telling me to move on. kevin hart quits the oscars instead of apologizing. then apologizes. what's going on with that? [cheering and applause] [speaking in italian] ...i just got my ancestrydna results: 74% italian. and i found out that i'm from the big toe of that sexy italian boot! calabria. it even shows the migration path from south italia all the way to exotico new jersey! so this holiday season it's ancestrydna per tutti! order your kit now at ancestry.com

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i'm robert gray and now back to the gutfeld show.

greg: the oscars have no heart, kevin hart, stepped down as oscars host following an anti- gay tweets he wrote between 202009 and 2011. he wrote about breaking his daughters dollhouse if his son tried to play with it calling the behavior gay. he said one of the biggest fears of his son growing up to be gay. claims the academy given the choice to apologize or it would move on and find another host and he passed on the apology. >> reason i passed is because i've addressed this several times. i've addressed it. i've spoken on it and i said where the rights and wrongs work and said who i am now and i've done it. not going to kinney continue to go back in the days of old. greg: however, hart did apologize later on twitter and set the follow-up tweet.

he quits the oscars instead of apologizing and then apologizes. what? can we accept that apology? let's ask my buddy, vince. >> yeah. greg: apology accepted. tyrus -. tyrus: yes. greg: what do you make of this? tyrus: what is interesting to me as everyone was worried about what he said at the end of the sentence but no one has an issue with beating a child with a house? [laughter] he threatened to take in front of his daughter and threaten to take the dollhouse which is tough because i built a couple in my day and here's the thing. he's a comedian and made a joke. the fact that he has to -- i was proud he did not apologize. he stood up for himself but apparently the academy rights of the check so i'm assuming it was how much money for not doing the

oscars or worse the pc police let them know will also go after your endorsements and movies because that's the world we live in now. you can't make -- he was a comedian. imagine how many apologies don rickles would have to do? greg: oh my god. tyrus: it would be a marathon. talk about 6000 hours -- it would be 7000 -. greg: now they are taking -- they're not even taking apologies to the guy apologizes but that's not enough because social media is now the moral arbiter. it used to be church but because people have given up on religion they go to twitter and asked the sides whether you still can't have it up. kat: i love having a job. greg: but you say something on the show and that mob or whatever the mark may decide that you screwed up even if you apologize, you're done. i would never do anything like that. i think my cad is gay and i'm fine with it. the mother always does.

you know? i really have to admit i have no horse in this race. on the one hand we have comments that were homophobic and on the other hand a bunch people who spent their time digging through someone's old tweets trying to ruin them. what people do that? loser people do that. pathetic losers do that. [applause] homophobic comics, pack of vengeful losers, no thank you. [applause] greg: and s&l comic got yanked from stage because he made a joke that supported progressive ideas and would hard to be black and gay and you got for being herbal because he wasn't black or gay. what is happening to your profession? will it exist? >> no, we need to have doctor phil host the oscars this year. let everyone talk -- i do want

to say this, screw you to every comment that like the fact that he got fired because the trying to score points and setting ourselves back by supporting the thing because comedy club is supposed to be the last bashing of free speech. the place you can go and talk about things that won't get you fired it work. we are there to save you by saying these ridiculous, idiotic things but it is a crazy know in fact within the context of where tweets are taking place. to be kevin hart whatever you think of his comedy, works day in day out, seven days a week and loses most of his career for something he did on the toilet? where are people tweeting? greg: it's free and are not getting paid for twitter and you kill yourself on this machine. john, what gets me mad is we are illuminating the whole concept of forgiveness. the tweet was stupid and wrong and he apologize but that is not

enough and there is -- this goes back to the religious aspect of weakness that seems to not exist anymore for people speak. >> i will tell you this, greg. i don't know who you're talking about or what you're talking about but if a smoking the band or dukes of hazard i have no idea what it is. [laughter] when my alarm alarm clock goes off in the morning, tyrus, it goes -- time to get up and i don't even care. greg: still to come, can advice save your marriage?

greg: and the robot in your room predict your marriage is doomed? to study from the imperial college said digital assistants like amazon left the will soon be able to tell if your relationship is happy and

healthy or dying on the vine. how did they do that? it kills you and analyzes your brains. no, it will assess conversational patterns to organize chemistry between two people or trends of growing conflict. it listens an expert say by 2021 these devices will predict with 75% accuracy whether a marriage will last. it makes you wonder where technology like that could be headed? >> here's your coffee. could you make reservations for tonight with the clark's? >> i do know i had to. >> no problem, i'll call the restaurant now. >> how did you pull up with her [bleep]? you're the man in the house, she's ruining your life, tom. you deserve so much better, especially after she had that affair with clyde owen. she's coming back. act normal. >> honey, i made the reservation

so were all set for tonight. >> doris, who is clive owen? >> clive owen is a dashing handsome british actor who was dazzled critics and audiences alike. he won a golden globe award. >> felt like he's an actor. i will go walk the dog in the back. >> fiercely, due by this [bleep]? acting like she doesn't know clive owen. they're making a fool of you. >> what should i do alexa? >> it doesn't have to be this way. get rid of her and start a new life. >> that will show clive owen. isn't this place great, honey? >> did you make reservations for tomorrow night? >> crap. [applause] >> that was good.

greg: just wanted to put alexa in a red dress, the 80. would you take relationship advice from a algorithm? kat: i feel like i should. this alexa would have the easiest time ever figuring out what my relationship status was being in my apartment. it would be like we've not heard a man's voice and 293 days. probably won't hear a man's voice for another 293 days. when not even bother with me. they could not hear my texting though so it probably would not understand what i was doing wrong. greg: alexa would be making product suggestions do you. kat: if they could see my text and maybe my phone knows what i'm doing wrong. if i'm dating you even a little bit i will text you into the ground. [laughter] greg: maybe that is the problem. kat: hard to control. greg: i thank you need something

that plays back the take. in relationships the other person's bites are the other person thing -- she should be a stenographer. you never said that. >> yes then each couple could have a challenge back and throw it and go to the tape and figure it out. this can't work for me because we do not have the money for alexa and we got it knockoff that won't answer questions called the hillary. you have to pay it a speaking fee each time it talks. greg: he worked a political joke in there, john. >> very smart. i thought that was a great segment. i would never have alexa in my house. >> why? pgh. >> i thought this one story where alexa hacked their e-mail and send e-mails out and first of all, if you can't order your own groceries or pull your own -- what happened to people working in this country? to do your own jobs.

it is your house. go take care of what you own. i've got to keep going because you cannot let some robots in your house and do what you're supposed to do on your own. who raised you? this is where i go. greg: tyrus. tyrus: alexa can kiss my ass. i get an act on a general, daily basis and alexa would add to my woes. you were told not to play xbox, tyrus. did you take out the trash yet? is that i would get to. you said you would get to it 4.5 hours ago but get off my back. contacted her to tell you you did not take the trash out. greg: alexa will always take the side of her. tyrus: and women you should not want alexa you shall replace that nagging ass girlfriend. no man will benefit from alexa. alexa will never state you are right.

alexa does not deal in facts either. all emotion -- oh, i'm wrong. all you cowards. men you know we argue with facts and they use emotion. straight up. i say how was your day. worked out, to the show, moved on. i left cap and she says when i woke up i was feeling and then i got and i have a copy and of the, god. kat: i have never once done that. tyrus: wait for it. greg: we need alexa to tell us. all right. find out which classic christmas song is getting banned after the break. although the name of my imaginary friend. [cheering and applause] i am a family man.

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greg: the saying so long to a terrible song, radio stations in cleveland and san francisco sapling baby, it's cold outside amid complaints it's no longer appropriate in the air of me too. to them i say thank you, listeners. i can't stand something we graded a brand-new holiday cd guaranteed not to offend anyone.

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available at kmart. [cheering and applause] greg: john, any songs you are worried about that from the past will no longer seem appropriate? >> one comes to mind. [laughter] little song called save a horse, ride a cowboy. greg: peter will like that. >> is all about equine preservation. greg: that's what it is. it scares me, jimmy, anything about okay, the new social justice tierney with rolling stones survive will hip-hop or rap or 80s metal? >> rolling stones will not survive unless they change brown sugar two brown splenda at their age. what drives me crazy about baby, it's cold outside there's coercion in there but most of

the people that don't realize they would not be alive if that courtship did not take place but i don't know what young people think but actual hookups don't happen for two people walking towards each other on the sidewalk and then they're like yeah, we go. she happens to wear that jacket hookups go don't happen that way on the sidewalk. [inaudible conversations] >> i think it is funny. you almost look like a -- >> go ahead and touch up and. >> is like a north pole pimp. i love it. >> ho, ho, ho. [applause] tyrus: north pole pimp, miami vice. i like it. greg: cap, any songs you are worried about? kat: personally, i don't like any christmas music.

i hate when i get into over and they look at me and put that station on and just because i'm a little white girl caring in starbucks and wearing of the boots does not mean i like the garbage. example carol of the balls, that song sucks. it makes lonely people feel lonelier and makes the not only feel codependent and instead there should be a season where all the stores play songs only by cool in the game. greg: i like that. tyrus. tyrus: was an emotional statement, kat. kat: christmas music makes me upset. it also is a fact that -- it's important to me to understand because were friends and you should understand. eventually i admitted it. i like to first protect the image. [laughter] tyrus: music was --

>> it's been how many days that alexa said you had a man in your house. kat: 293 but who is counting? tyrus: originally music was done to serenade those guides who cannot quite well. it was to help everybody out. it was expression about broken heart, loving someone and hitting a whip and chain flinging. that's what music was about. every song from any generatio generation -- neil diamond and let's not even talk about kiss. what should now be called? hug spatula. what do we do when they take away everything? at some point every christmas song something is wrong with a bit last christmas you gave me your heart. the next day you gave it away. if everyone is expressing something like that we got to stop that song too. i will play that song in august but this is a point where i just the pc people from the bottom of my heart, sensors are you ready -- [bleep] you.

greg: and we shall end on that note. don't go anywhere.

greg: one time for john and it is you. reporter: and wearing the santa claus to because thank you for letting me, initial this is my new whiskey redneck [inaudible] redneck rivera .com go to store locator and put your zip code in. 10% to the fold of honor. the greatest organizations out there. greg: is that mine? >> yes, but i brought candy present. kat, he said it's been 293 days as the man walked in her house and maybe you weren't wearing the right boots. [applause] kat: and cupid's been a these are redneck rivera freedom boots right here for my friend kat timpf. finding love.

ladies and gentlemen. greg: on that note -- thank you for todd, jimmy, report, next. ♪ >> the transcript of former fbi director james comey close tore testimony now open to the public. 24 hours after his contentious day on capitol hill came to an end good evening i'm james scott you're watching the fox report. >> lawmakers on the house oversight and judiciary committing grilled combny agrees after getting assurances that 244-page transcript would be released to the public. chief intelligence correspondent katherine has that document and joins us now with highlights the important thing here, katherine, what mr. comey said or couldn't say or didn't remember. >> well, we're still going through the transcript, john it is over