an outside call from the space station. he then tried to phone internationally when you do that you do 011. he mistakenly left out the zero. can you imagine not? where's the emergency? everything is fine. it's okay. >> i was here on christmas evening. i was all by myself in the white house. .it's a big, big house except fr all the guys on the lawn with machine guns on the white housen with machine guns.e white housen >> he should have called. >> the new year began with a shot heard around the world.

[laughter] . >> he sounded like chewbacca or a jersey shore seagull choking on a toenail to make it sound like the wicked witch before she melted. [laughter] drinking booze like cnn reports news. [laughter] the new year if that ended there i would be happy but instead we got knit a leader not just on policies but also the character of the people who get to watch that person and i think that's an area the president needs to focus more attention to make some changes. >> he went after trump he

bravely stated that trump is rude and divisive and mean something he must have learned groveling for that secretary of state job. [laughter] thinks for giving the same fertilizer that we knew when we elected the guy. i can wait to hear about the new beverage flat and boring and clueless he's just the opposite of trump here's what's more exciting than mitt romney. melba toast, drywall i couldn't find a third thing. [laughter] here are three things that were more bland than mitt romney number three, two mitt romney's.

[applause] . >> i like him like clean socks they are nice to have but instantly forgotten he was taken by so many conservative anti- trumps followers who crave that respect when they bash the president now he was deemed by the media as a dog hating misogynist now that same media who made him out to be a mormon hitler thinks he is brave and that has to feel good people like him finally. know they still think you are a fool that you are useful does he realize once he stops bashing trump it's back to bashing him but trump doesn't care he seems like he is in a good mood i bet it's because he got a great letter from kim jong noon. >> i just got a great letter

from kim jong noon and they have never written letters like that. [laughter] it is a great letter to make he does get along very well with the india and the prime minister but he keeps telling me he built the library in afghanistan that's like five hours of what we spend but thank you for the library had a know who's using in afghanistan they are not just places for sleeping in porn the libraries in new york but he could've had a lot easier

presidency by doing nothing. >> i could've had a lot easier presidency by doing nothing but i am here and i want to do it right. >> so despite the noise he has gotten used to this sort of thing probably because he's used to this sort of thing you have heard the sea legs to keep the balance on a moving ship trump has trump legs the ability to keep calm all his critics are losing there. [bleep] . >> and we are to make sure the republican party dies. >> he lied right to their faces be met looks like hitler took over the nazi party trump has taken over the republican party. >> know we don't win baby we don't. [bleep] she said. [bleep] to her baby?

what the hell is that? [laughter] nobody has even talked about that. we believed it but you know, what she said animals are great. >> screaming for impeachment is an attention seeking device the democrats version so now i am so edgy that a 14 -year-old thinks it is bad ass so it starts off for the last one ended so trump causes good times insanity they just can't stop and why not before trump they were nothing now with trump they are almos something if trump ever goes

to jail they know they go straight to the unemployment office which is in the building probably owned by trump. [laughter] meanwhile the debate over the wall continues which is absurd especially at look what the democrats have said in recent years. >> i voted on numerous times as a senator to spend money to build a barrier to try to prevent illegal immigrants from coming in. >> we simply cannot allow people to pour into the united states and detected in undocumented and unchecked. >> i like that guy. he should be president. is funny how different your views are when you are the party in power now suddenly you are the adult craving rules and laws but then when you are out of how are you are the child and throw tantrums and deemed borders as racist. >> you have for white men for

strong white men of a certain age not smiling by the way and this wall isn't a wall it's let's keep america white again. >> now there is all wall donny deutsch is the dumb as one he puts the block in blockhead. line him up he makes a perfect wall so why is this resistance something they embraced before? apparently it is personal he is a just pushing for the wall he suddenly is the wall and they cannot see over it maybe he needs to appeal to their feelings and not their brains. >> the most aggressive infrastructure project the side of the rio grande and get ready for the racist free sexist free wall it is the

border wall you always wanted without systemic persuasive inequality how does it work? first it will never tell you you should've majored in women's studies so it is not sexist or racist plus it isn't white or male so there is no white male privilege and now guns can affect the wall they have no sexual orientation isn't that right? featuring a built in rosie o'donnell this wall is so pc it will have nancy pelosi and chuck schumer chanting. racist free sexist free wall.

[applause] . >> so bright you will see after she leaves. [applause] he is so wise country music legend larry gatlin. [applause] and our viewer reporter. [applause] former debbie wwe sidekick and host on fox nation. 2019 the first of the week is as crazy as a last. >> you think romney will challenge trump most of us are

just as tired of these tantrums that we have seen emerging from that table to now that position he deems as power and influence so we will all forget it the people around him or not that's who he is collaborating with so if he does it to all of us with tax payer dollars who pay their salaries to have all of these grandstanding's in the show of force in all of these expletives just do your job. [applause] . >> you have strong feelings about everything give me a strong feeling of this week. >> you want to try that again click. >> my strong feeling? . >> with your monologue

, there's almost nothing in life that is more contemptible then watch poor little rich kids masquerading as petulant children because he was a child and his father lost the presidential bid centuries ago. i think he believed he was entitled to this when president obama beat him he has not gotten over it and then of course, course, hillary is the all time ultimate thumbsucker the little rich kid say that quickly five times so just to watch these people who have been who have had everything in life and they get their ass kicked once or twice. [laughter] [applause] greg: i do think it was choreographed just like a broadway show. >> that's a pretty good analogy. i do think it absolutely was i

don't think mitt romney is alone we see other congressmen especially in the democratic side where it is more about fighting and finding a real solution that's why i think what has been going on because nobody really once it too and they just want to keep fighting because they enjoy that there are entire relationships built like that. >> know taxpayers were paying me money to be in this relationship that's it makes a different. >> they need to stop it and stop focusing on becoming stars and i can get on tv emily toward trending on twitter instead of solving a problem. [applause] . >> president trump has made more millionaires in 2018 more people in gotten famous by

talking trash he makes more stars than anybody else this whole support thing? but this is cashing in because we wouldn't be talking about him it's not a verb or a noun is just trump people pay attention so instead of just being another senator he is now our arch nemesis now two or three weeks in the news probably another book there will be met dealing with the trump monster so the one thing the president has done has fired so many people and then he finally did something for me. my favorite word is now okay. [bleep] [laughter] i love that word. it is a noun and a verb i use it all the time if i don't know your name 220 i can say

it. she said it. sorry get the beats going. [bleep] . >> thank you president trump. thank you sir. >> turning everybody into little restaurant that serves nothing but trump so they are out there with their hot dog stand selling trump burgers and people are buying it. he truly is the product and they are selling and he knows that that's minimums and fees. they seem to be the very foundation of your typical bank. capital one is anything but typical. that's why we designed capital one cafes. you can get savings and checking accounts with no fees or minimums.

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it's bedtime. peace of mind should never be out of reach. [ voice command beep ] xfinity home. xfinity home connects you to total home security you can control from anywhere on any device. and it protects you with 24/7 professional monitoring. i guess we're sleeping here tonight. xfinity home. simple. easy. awesome. call, go online or demo in an xfinity store today. greg: in india no more massachusetts senator elizabeth warren a.k.a. chief full of bull is now launching an exploratory committee sadly not from the north pole that just means she can begin raising money for a presidential campaign which is probably why she got on the insta graham to kick back with

a cold one to talk to all the kids out there in tv land. >> for everybody that is joining this video it's great to hear from you. wait a second. my husband bruce is now in here. do you want a beer? he is the best. i love you. i love you to thank you for being here. . >> that was the opposite of comfortable. [laughter] he says no i'll pass on a beer for now it look like he was searching for the cyanide capsule hidden under his tongue. when politicians go out of their way to show how hard they have to try to act like people and they never get any better at it. if only there was a place they could get help.

>> you have seen it before politicians and their awkward attempts to be down-to-earth and relatable. >> hold on i am going to get a beer as she even human it's almost impossible to tell. >> i am running for office just like senator warren i am a phony and i have no real emotions i simply act normal so you will like me but i no longer suffer of fake person syndrome and i owe it all to the politician school they showed me how to drink beer. [laughter] and how to field serious

questions from voters. >> me in the guise of the plant lost our jobs and i'm in danger of losing my house what is your plan to create new jobs and why are you smiling at me? [laughter] and they really help me nail my sports lingo. >> thank you for your service or branch of the military are you? hockey is a sport and they taught me how to laugh at the right things. [laughter] thank you politician school. [laughter]

[applause] . >> if you like trump or not this explains why he is resonating because he is real and not a politician because he's not a politician he doesn't have to be an expert at being fake politicians are like a bug lamp they attract people that are nothing but a façade which he is not. >> just like you can fix stupid you can hide from it. it reeks 35 years ago i went to a place in california like betty ford for drinking and booze if she gets elected i will roll the doobie in drink a jack daniels those who don't learn from history will repeat it somehow those on the left

have the misguided opinion and idea that each one of you simply by being born are responsible for every bad decision that every on the planet has ever had weather from honduras that you are responsible and supposed to take care of that. bibles not stand up on my hind legs like a puppy. >> i think that exposes her greatest blind spot she is incapable of being anything but someone else now it's brett kavanaugh. [laughter] . >> i have a great idea. [laughter] [applause] a great idea for a running

mate. rachel dole is all the white lady who put tent - - pretended to be black they can run together like you can tell me i am white. >> excellent that's really good. >> that video was very uncomfortable to watch she was trying so hard to be cool and it just reminded me how i used to behave in a school i used to walk around carrying a beer but i wouldn't drink it i was too scared because i was underage are going to the bathroom to dump it out we even had similar haircuts. [laughter] . >> this just dated long as you might me of every white girl i ever dated. >> i think they like beer. [laughter]

they were trying so hard. cmac but that's what it reminded me of. they aren't racist they just don't know what to do they don't want to say the wrong thing so therefore they don't say nothing right. >> he didn't seem thrilled to be there like he'd rather be in the bathtub of moray eel. >> that is what was so funny about the video it was so obvious how and relatable they are. now i'm good. >> i hate this and everything about this no thank you and also i went to her exploratory committee website and her whole phrase is rebuild the middle class and she's selling

one button plus tax and shipping for ten dollars i love it when judge kavanaugh then person kavanaugh that there is nothing worse but then she says will have a beer. >> stick

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>> live from "america's news headquarters," i'm john scott. president trump confirming air strike in yemen on new year's day killed jamal al-badawi, al qaeda operatives tied to the deadly attack on the uss cole back in 2000. the u.s. believes he helped coordinate the bombing of the u.s. destroyer in yemen's port of aden. 17 american sailors were killed did the president make an announcement in a tweaked out in our work against al qaeda continues. we will never stop in our fight against radical islamic terrorism. on day 16 of the partial government shutdown, vice president mike pence begin another round of talks to resolve the standoff has president trump threatens to declare a national emergency to get military funding for his long promised border wall. he says that all depends on what progress there might be in the next few days.

i am john scott. i'll be back at the top of the hour's mars top stories on the fox report. now back to grade 12. . >> destroying an asteroid to save humanity? zero gravity childbirth in that story tonight. [laughter] [applause] news that is spacey. first nasa has developed the first mission to defend the planet called the double asked droid redirection it will hit the smaller rock then hopefully gets to the larger rock which is knocked off course so it doesn't hit the earth it's like shooting pool for nerds meanwhile in the

netherlands a startup company called safelite once to send a pregnant lady 250 miles above earth to give birth in space she would be accompanied by a world-class medical team and the reason? ever have to leave the planet for good we have to reproduce in space. ♪ . >> who need space? which mission is more important playing pool with asteroid. >> asteroid i can handle this giving birth in space garbage

i do not know what's up with everyone who is giving birth now not a went to give birth in some super creative way i had natural i had water into a giant bathtub full of jell-o. why? why are you doing this what is wrong with the hospital? i don't understand. [applause] . >> it's a lot of work. >> i don't know if i ever have children but if i do it will be on earth. [laughter] in a hospital with an apple girl like a normal sane person. [applause] . >> in space nobody can hear the baby scream. >> that is so creepy. [laughter] don't think that in others got passed me but gravity is important in childbirth.

i don't want to see that. i don't want it floating around the placenta and the afterbirth it's in outer space it doesn't just lay on the table. [laughter] that is terrible if we are stuck in a spaceship the last thing any woman, i'm just guessing say find a planet with some air first if you want all this find me some gravity and a planet with water and oxygen then you can have all the duty you want but until then nothing is going on in this spaceship. [laughter]

[applause] . >> i am not going to laugh about the asteroid threat because that has happened before with the dinosaurs but they are not here because of an asteroid so it only takes one big asteroid. >> and i loved the whole plan mentioned only at the end italy figures out five or ten years in the future you literally have to know ten years in advance it seems like a lot of effort that probably would not happen in the official report there was a second there that bodily fluids glob together and glide toward the capsule the whole thing was nauseatingly. [laughter]

. >> imagine being the first space baby? that is entire topic of intersection nullity. there is only one of you. >> think you there is only one of you also. [laughter] . >> my grandson was born in dubai and our daughter in law gave birth with the water thing this child is the most cerebral cat you have ever seen he only cries when he needs to poop or sleep. guess what? so do i. >> you should and on that note and on a laugh. [laughter] . >> new year's resolution no appointment

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greg: is it worth 1000 and plan to tell facebook to scram? how much would it take for them to give up facebook for one year? about a thousand dollars. you put your whole life on their euro opinions and your disgusting dinner your annoying offspring then you stock ex- girlfriends and ex- boyfriends and post videos of cats and ferrets you can give all that for thousand dollars? if you offer me $10000 i would not stop doing this. ♪ 20000 i would think about it i

love doing that. it isn't that much money but i guess it is. >> people will say anything they just came up with a round number i don't use facebook for over two years farmers farm girls quick. >> she still on it. >> they say they take the money but they would be back on it. >> i could not use my fake account? people are so addicted to the likes and the fake friendships they wouldn't know what to do without it. they would break the rule they would take the thousand dollars to buy more like someone is to graham and then they go to twitter then bring back my space they would just

keep jumping because it is such an addiction and any that attention. >> would you do it quick. >> no way. my ex-boyfriend is getting married this year and how else would i get my hands on those wedding photos? how would i see that my other high school ex-boyfriend keeps gaining? how lacy of my boyfriend has a boyfriend yet? he does like men but ex-boyfriend detective this is my favorite career. >> this is what it's about people looking at their past and wondering if i am better than that person? . >> if they look at justice kavanaugh yearbook if they looked at my yearbook it would just be sleepy time down south. [laughter] i don't even know do you log into it? what do you do?

. >> it requires a computer. >> i do not have one. >> that's where i start you push a button do not the internet is. >> 895 a month. [laughter] . >> it is like a cloud then they connect you to other people through the cloud. >> did you smoke before you got on? [laughter] here is what i do honestly. we have had a wonderful career. i don't have many moments like this but because nice people by our records i get to go to some places they don't get to go so i will do a sophie a look at the eiffel tower and a lot of people in america won't get to go that's what i do.

>> you will never see this. [laughter] but i said that to my assistant she logs on to the cloud. [laughter] then people see it and that's what happens. >> i have never had facebook ever ever so you could not pay me i would accept no amount to create a facebook also is that all these people swore off facebook when all the data was disseminated but the numbers proved otherwise everybody said i'm done but nobody really was. >> it's hard to give up something that people take for granted we have to go. so much more to come is it a prank or is it arson? i don't keep track of regrets.

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greg: police and firefighters in pennsylvania responded to a report on christmas eve that

bag of dog poop was lit on fire on the porch it was extinguished no damage done nobody was hurt the investigation led to the suspects of an 18 -year-old who according to police confessed and was charged with two felony counts arson and on $20000 bail that is the subject this is a new segment where we devote three hours of live discussion whether or not excrement set on fire constitutes arson you want to be a lawyer is this arson? . >> pennsylvania takes it so seriously they have six different categories one of

them is basically like if you think of lighting something on fire and putting it somewhere that is arson so it makes sense to me he was charged but it is the oldest prank. >> but that would change the whole plot. >> i went to law school for six months i don't know if it is arson or not but the whole situation is at some point in time he add to pick up a dog heard and place it in a bag so if i were going to do that that thousand dollars i would save on facebook i can imagine somebody being so mad and then light it. i'm sorry.

>> i think the biggest crime is his hair. >> that was the #dork not. >> you do not like the man bun. stop it is arson? . >> no. [laughter] this is my reasoning i did not go to law school but i do watch a lot of and a one - - adam sandler movies this happened to billy madison. he is not an arsonist i should bring this argument to a court of law looking for an attorney feel free to reach out to me and i am not attracted to him. [laughter] . >> but we never know. >> i'm proud of myself that i am not that what is arson one thing that could be are those trick candles because that is

nonconsensual fire. >> i don't think so because you are burning something of no value. >> it depends on who you talk t to. >> i didn't go to law school but the school of hard knocks but here is the thing that's missing the idea when you light the little bag on fire the person comes out to put it out. so if anybody is at fault is the dumb ass who says let me download what to do. [laughter] because the world we live in if you walk in the park they will call the police on you they called the police and the fire department so paint the scene there is a small bag of

burning dog crap that the police officer and firefighter said we don't know how to handle it somebody put it out then the guy said got you it . >> but if you don't report it you can also be charged. >> where is this quick. >> pittsburgh. >> my ass is never going there. [laughter] . >> thank you for bringing the law to this. it is arson. >> it depends on your defense attorney. >> it definitely is but if i >> it definitely is but if i do it it is patrick woke up with back pain. but he has work to do. so he took aleve. if he'd taken tylenol, he'd be stopping for more pills right now. only aleve has the strength to stop tough pain for up to 12 hours with just one pill. aleve. all day strong.

we know that when you're spending time with the grandkids every minute counts. and you don't have time for a cracked windshield. that's why we show you exactly when we'll be there. saving you time, so you can keep saving the world. >> kids: ♪ safelite repair, safelite replace ♪ greg: before we go the monologues is life coming to florida to shows in tampa and palm beach special guest

tickets for both shows are on sale now go to the website for ticket information we are out of time thank you. jon: president trump takes a day trip to camp david for a meeting with white house staff about border security as the partial government shutdown hits day 16. i'm jon scott, you're watching "the fox report." ♪ ♪ jon: the president urges democrats to end the partial government shutdown, this as vice president mike pence leads a second day of talks between white house officials and congressional aides. the main bone of contention is still funding for the president's border wall, and president trump says he might declare a national emergency which would allow him to use military funding to build it. >> we're looking at a national emergency, because if we have a national emergency. just read the papers.