i'm advocating for truth and justice and the american way. d10 is coming up next. i will see you next saturday night. [cheers and applause] greg: just another slow week. let's start with the meal that made the media squeal. >> pizza, 300 hamburgers , french fries. greg: many, many french fries that seems like a year ago but the media lost their lunch over this and raged at trump to serve food that everybody

loves to eat. how may times have you had to go to a formal event and plan what you will eat after you eat? because the first intersex? it is like a tiny bird on a plate all bones and veins like you are eating an old lady. what do i eat after i eat? burgers and pizza. that's what we all want but people lost their minds. >> do we have no food for you? or do we have a quick salad the first lady would make for you or the second lady i said you are not into the salads. >> nobody is into salad. has anybody ever on death row asked for their last meal to be a chef salad? it is always burger and pizza making it the most standard.

but cnn went for the sexist angle. >> it seems like the president will not be happy until there is not one single republican voter in the country. that is incredibly sexist we are not all here to make salads for men. [laughter] sometime that exposes what they are and what they think. greg: but are they equating gender with a salad? i make a mean salad of lettuce and tomatoes and onions of course, it is on top of a burger but it is a solid. [laughter] the press will use anything to trash trump and it is always in lockstep but the coverage was 90 percent negative after the second year in a row russia was the most covered topic which makes me think if space aliens landed on earth

to a 98 billions of humans mutilation the surviving media would ask but the media has been so screwed up since trump they even see white privilege among blacks. [laughter] . >> this is a conversation of white privilege you have the privilege to do. >> how do i have the privilege of white privilege? payment by virtue of all white males. >> i hate to break it to you you should have been better prepped. i am black. [laughter] greg: he's black? [laughter] but the big news of the week

and then with the "state of the union". [laughter] so how does trump responded to nancy? [applause] the only canceled flight people will applaud. [laughter] he actually wrote her a letter. it is priceless and he says due to the shutdown, i am sorry to inform you your trip has been canceled. yes. he is sorry. [laughter] somehow i doubt that he is really sorry. i wonder how he felt when he

dropped the letter in the mail. [laughter] trump canceled the trip but it could have been worse he could have boarded the plane before hand. or then rerouting to mira lago and never tell nancy until she steps off the aircraft you think brussels looks like palm beach. but now they have a very special pilot fly the plane. [laughter] greg: nancy got off easy the soda donald. the initial request gave him the perfect excuse to get out of the worst thing ever with

the "state of the union". it sucks and it is boring and it is dreadful the ceremonial version of a colonoscopy. i had one on wednesday. i know. roll the tape. [laughter] greg: wrong tape. roll the tape of my colonoscopy. ♪ ♪ wrong tape. my colonoscopy? [laughter] how did bruce willis get in there? i hope he reads the card. so to take place on dc and i

don't want to but you get there you have to take a train from delaware and baltimore first that's like having sex to have sex at a funeral. so nancy's letter gave trump and me a golden ticket out of the nightmare have a great night the press has to cover because it's their job and the damsel feel compelled to respond with miserable speech that can barely manage a pulse. imagine what trump could come up with. . >> 50 percent of expression 50 percent applies. >> that is low-energy.

nobody could hear the media whine about the twitter feed. . >> we give millions and millions of dollars to the strong countries who don't give a damn about us. >> but his accomplishments the first two years in office.

and then to build a space wall around earth. to keep the martians out. [applause] and stock market financial guru and analyst. [applause] national review reporter. [applause] former wwe superstore - - superstar and on fox tv nation. [applause]

has pelosi handed trump an amazing gift he should take advantage of quick. >> first that opening was certainly special. it was conventional. he would give the entire speech with nancy pelosi seated behind him in the house chamber. we don't want any part of that. but here's the thing they want to take them out of the trapping of the presidency that's i don't want him in the house of representatives. with mike pence or are mitch mcconnell behind him this invite all the democrats and say these steel slats this is what we need right here. he has the winning message but who blinks first.

. >> no matter what he does the media will trash him. >> they really do. i cover the economy quite often the stock market was up again. the economy is doing very well and unemployment is low wages are going up. over half of americans view the economy is good or excellent. but you don't see that on cnn or msnbc he cannot get a win despite deregulation or tax cuts that's what matters to the american people at the end of the day if i have a good job and canada pay my bills. greg: fast food matters to me. it is disgusting you do it at your desk. >> i often order to get mcdonald's delivered to my house.

. >> i was disappointed in the quality of the cookie but it is the best food i hate when they are above fast food what he drinking a kale smoothie that taste like chalk? [laughter] . >> i agree. it saves lives. [laughter] three out of five. . >> and with the golden arches. >> those people who died did not try hard enough. [laughter] . >> they did not eat enough mcdonald's. >> the coolest thing this week actually with the back and

forth with pelosi and president trump people are out of work so it's not funny but when she says security which is subliminal that you're not coming. she was a legend. she was queen. amazing. brilliant. thoughtful. so he says i will wait until you were on the bus and packed. [laughter] not yet. not yet. the eye in the sky was watching. and it was folded up.

this is for you. [laughter] but he was a monster. he wrote the letter in baby's blood. the worst human being. so we both have the last word disease. i know you are. because this will go for a long time. greg: they waited for the ambien. wake up.

never take your ambien before you board the plane because if it is delayed that you are wandering around the airport. eating a bag of toblerone. [laughter] then you may mistake a water fountain for a bathroom. we have two more cities added to the tour because it's so successful washington and also toll's oklahoma and dallas. on sale now. go online for ticket information. up next it is spreading like you will not believe. rate.

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let's talk about that when you get here. ♪ the united states virgin islands.

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little impeachment process will slow him down? hell no. antagonism is the fuel. impeachment to trump is like spinach to pop by. when they impeach bill clinton it made him more popular than ever and if you kick trump out of office it makes trump look like mother teresa. and if you still want - - succeed you still have him around and he's not going awry - - away so bring it on.

[laughter] . >> that i think the impeachment thing and then bashes it into a weapon this is a win. >> this is just like if i was to assault somebody and pick my jury really? not with my friend the senate is republican? i think you let the house go forward and be 45 minutes late and make fun of some people and then you vote?

but none of them though. talks to monks yourselves there is nothing that half the senate they will not impeach him out regardless if you think if he didn't do it you will not get the votes it's a complete waste of time you have to vote him out. . >> but that's the point we are two years into this just wait another two years then vote i have a show called the five. >> i've never heard of it. [laughter] . >>. >> rhyming is fun.

. >> i feel like he will not get impeached because everything is fine. [laughter] in my the only person out there who thinks that everything is fine? i wake up in the morning, i.e. to an egg sandwich and i run my mouth all day that i go home and go to bed and do it over again. is not that i love about everything one - - every single thing but it seems there is no middle ground if i don't like him maybe i will not vote for him instead of saying the world will end. and it seems like we are eating beans out of a can.

greg: that is similar how you describe your life except it is egg salad. who doesn't want egg salad? just go around the deli shoutin shouting. >> he clearly despises president trump for the reelection bid and i completely agree you vote him out what did you say quick. >> if you can beat them then eat them. [laughter] 53million americans voted for him. like it or not you cannot delegitimize the election process not liking him is not good enough but that is not grounds for impeachment.

>> that they cannot get past this. they haven't got over 2016. they don't believe he is legitimate in the first place. >>. >> are you talking about the government or my ex-wife? . >> doesn't he get to decide? . >> i find it highly entertaining. if is at the dog versus the car the car will hit the dog. >> what if there was a female version of the sad? we will show you. [applause] you control your blood sugar

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. >> live from america's news headquarters. more than 70 people are dead after a pipeline exploded in mexico. nearly 100 people missing and dozens injured. on friday hundreds gathered in a field near mexico city to fill containers with gas but were trapped in a massive inferno. now forensic experts separate burned bodies. the new president has cracked down on fuel theft that has caused widespread fuel shortages. new developments of the flint michigan water crisis 50 people have been charged after lead contamination sparked an outrage of legionnaires' disease and other issues facing multiple charges including involuntary manslaughter it dates back to

2014 linking to 12 deaths. now back to "the greg gutfeld show". greg: now you have seen the ad that smears adult men. . >> bullying and the #metoo movement. >> the best demand to get. this has been going on far too long. you can hide. you cannot laugh it off. greg: that made a lot of good

honest men they will never be good honest men. but could you try to act like that with women? . >> is this the best we can do? should women get equal treatment? after all fair is fair. do you think women are weak do you target men to spare us? that is sexist. now it's our turn to look at her own bad behavior. . >> and we will not stop telling you how cool we are. you believe in astrology and date accordingly.

we say were not hungry then eat your food. but we swear to do better because of men were shouldn't we also? no. who are we kidding? because we don't have to. you will love us anyway because you love women. we are awesome. and so are men. [applause] greg: well done. did you like the initial add the emotion or the meaning of it?

. >> i thought it was well done if you agree with the intentions or dead i do appreciate the message behind the ad but it is so potent right now that a company willing to alienate 60 percent of their client base. so while the intention may have been good i thought it was a very bad business decision. greg: i think it is a subset of liberalism of identity politics that pit gender against each other i don't think we would've had that commercial except we pit mail against female or gender against gender or race against race. the point of our commercials is that we complement each other we are necessary together. >> i thought it was horrific. i don't get triggered very easily these days but basically it said men, first of all, they build up who men are then if you are a man you are toxic or if you like

females you are bad. the guy is successful. he scored a touchdown. . >> i have an old gillette add. show that. >> with the body wash. coming out the shower like you can take on the world. [laughter] so she is into him? because he uses a body wash? but i don't need to see that kind of human flesh. >> yes you do. that's why they watch the dude washing himself for the rest of the commercial.

[laughter] . >> i got in trouble because i got a lot of attention after i did the story and then i posted a picture of these girls with gillette on there but so cleanup your own backyard before you tell us so you are a razor company but on top of that there sexism is worse. i will be damned if i have an open flame i wouldn't allow that anyway but if we would switch that out put a woman with an apron with cookies girls will be girls that would be gone in a minute plus the pink razors for women are more

expensive. come on ladies. you know, what is funny the women use the med razors most of the time but cleanup your yard was my point. and where are the kardashians and that commercial? [laughter] . >> that you have to have surgery to be pretty you can be sexy unless you have likes? greg: yes. what i found funny is the media criticized men for responding to the ad that betrayed the misogyny of the norm. why you don't like it when men are portrayed as misogynist? kind of. >> i am completely confused how you think there is no ad telling women to be different. >> the entire beauty and fitness industry. [laughter] you need to make your hair

more shiny. smaller. i won't have sex with you. you are prettier if you smile more. your teeth are not wide enough. she is baking gluten-free brownies for her kids. you're a bad mom. you are fat you look tired but concealer under those eyes. you look old you need some lotion and lotion your body and also use some hairspray. pretty hair in the morning and pretty hair at night i have to last all day and did you do yoga today? . >> she's not going to stop. [laughter] as your hair too short is it too long? iredale's too short.

and this clue thing under your nails and use it like this for an hour. you have to be good enough no women are never told anything needs to be different. [cheers and applause] greg: we will have to edit the entire segment out of the shell. we need more commercials bashing men. and just to say jan yourself? yes. i do it already. [applause] if you have psoriasis,

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greg: is it truly delusion to have a transfusion? the ambrosia company will fill your veins with youngblood with the hopes that the youngblood will rejuvenate

oregon's to keep you youthful. the business insider found a new evidence of this not working on humans still ambrosia has expelled one - - expanded to five cities. what word you pay one - - pay for a pint of youngblood? 2 pints for 12 grand. that's a lot of money. this is how they give it to you. [laughter] that's definitely not right. as a free market kind of guy if somebody wants to buy blood they can if you can sell your blood to anyone then we would stop demonizing dracula.

you don't have to wait until the time he could just live his lif life. >> there will be a black market for youngblood? there are certain things i like to have my own like a toothbrush, underwear and also there is little to no evidence this actually one - - this actually works. and i don't want to sound like a penny pusher but before i spend $8000 if that works it's kind of important to me. greg: i have a theory that these are older rich billionaires from silicon valley that got rich really young they are in their thirties more billionaires now than ever but they don't have

immortality. so they think i don't want to lose all this. i am a zillion air. . >> they forget when you are young you have immaturity. i did so much dumb stuff in my twenties i don't want that blood back in me. [laughter] i want old blood. [laughter] maybe that teaches me to make good decisions. [laughter] that is the blood that i need in my life. [laughter] . >> you need my blood. >> i would love your blood. >> you would never make a bad decision. >> i could be a future segment. [laughter] . >> listen we just live in a world where people don't want to grow old.

just let it go. women have to lighten the hair go ahead and get started if you want to. [laughter] but it's always something, botox, america just grow old and chill out i'm not putting nobodies blood in me i don't know where they have been. >> is this a good business decision? . >> i personally would not invest in this but people are paying. i don't know. $8000? if they are willing to pay, may be as a business they have venture capital but if it gives you cognitive ability try it on congress. [applause] . >> they do need new blood. [laughter] i have to go to break but i

think if becoming a vampire as possible, why not? immortality in exchange to stay up at night with a strict diet? because i would be a zombie. but if you live forever that's how i am now. [laughter] nobody wants to be around me when i am mortal. i want to be a vampire zombie. we just told you about the teenager blood now wait until you learn what they are doing to insect brains. the things you learn. [applause] esurance spokesperson dennis quaid. he's a pretty good spokesperson. ehhh. so when i say, "drivers who switched from geico to esurance saved an average of $412," you probably won't believe me. hey, actor lady whose scene was cut. hi. but you can believe this esurance employee, nancy abraham. seriously, send her an email and ask her yourself. no emails... no emails.

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greg: will robots rain? the pentagon research wants to build artificial intelligence not from humans but insects to help build smaller and more efficient ai it's good they're not going for artificial intelligence that could outsmart us how smart is a cockroach anyway? [laughter] but there is the potential downside has anybody seen the movies about killer bees? i can step on an aunt but not a robot killer be we should model it off of something else. like this.

[laughter] you are a military man this is obviously technology that will be used to kill people with right? . >> of course, apparently it is easier because it is nonconscious thinking if you give them 15 commands now they can kill thousands of people. >> the more that i listen to yo you, the more i believe this stuff will happen in the future. greg: absolutely the future of ai is not to mimic our intelligence it is nonconscious thinking which is in sex but the problem is as long as you control the insect it is okay you can step on it but nonconscious thinking when it is out of your control that cannot be stopped.

mosquitoes with malaria it doesn't care what one - - that's killing people it just does what it does and you should be terrified. [laughter] . >> i don't know. it's pretty good. insect brains are different in some ways they are worse but in some ways they are better they don't worry about things like feelings or emotions. and i know this because i have said some very mean things to a fly once and he stayed in my apartment. [laughter] no human would have done that if i would've said the things that i said he just kept buzzing around and was completely unaffected. [laughter] how many eyes do they have

quick. >> a lot of chambers. >> thank you scientist. . >> falling behind with global advancement and technology china has an initiative 20 through 25 about artificial intelligence advancement so if we want to remain competitive on a global scale china put the manufacturing sector off the grid decades ago this is one way to do it with artificial intelligence. it's a great idea. not sure how well that will work out for the insect side but nancy pelosi wants to send robot dogs to the border 700 million it will cost. >> because you know, what i like about these brains? they crawl over your body and then run away from you. >> [laughter]

i may kick you because you called me a scientist smart ass we don't control them now the only thing stopping the insect is that mother nature designed to keep them small. if you take that brain and put into a machine whose sole purpose is to stay alive and procreate and kill things around and that is a threat and now can manufacture itself into a larger size? kiss us goodbye you have to be careful with that technology that brain has been around for a very long time it is almost perfect for survival it may decide a little sick tiny dude is worth eating. >> i don't trust them. speak english. [laughter] i want to make english the official language of insects.

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greg: we are out of time. thank you to the studio audience. i love you america. . >> welcome to "watters world" president trump pitches a new deal to end the government shutdown and get his border while the president welcomes the newest citizens during the overall office naturalization ceremony before announcing the compromise. >> our plan includes the following, $800 million of urgent humanitarian assistance. $805million for drug detection technology to help secure the ports of entry. an additional 2750 border