tv The Greg Gutfeld Show FOX News February 3, 2019 2:00pm-3:00pm PST
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arthel: all day tuesday, all night tuesday stay right here on fox news channel. who dat! >> it is,, -50 degrees in north dakota right now. what would happen if all the natural gas lines that serve as sioux falls just poofd on the coldest day in recent memory, and it wasn't within our power whether or not to turn them back on. what would you do if you lost heat as the pact act of a foreign power? greg: she can even make the weather about the russians. [laughter] [applause] greg: what a week it was if your name was cliff simms. two weeks ago you were a nobody, a zero. you say, hey, my name's cliff simms, and people would laugh
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'cuz it's a funny name. named after a rock formation and a computer game. [laughter] but it's amazing what a tell-all will do for name recognition. >> cliff simms joins us now, welcome. >> my main goal is to have as much fun as the mooch. >> he's got a beautiful wife, martial, bathroom -- marble bathroom. >> i just saw sean spicer toting a refrigerator out of here. got a new chandelier in there. the whole atmosphere's kind of, like, can you believe it? here we are. greg: well, would you look at that. suddenly, this guy gets more air aume than a frisbee at a fish concert. [laughter] he's just giving the lockstep lemmings what they want, and it doesn't matter what they gobble up. it's the same crap they inhaled a month before. cliff simms is now superstar for a week. and why? 'cuz he's a fink.
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his tell-all has all the shocking details, get this. for example, the president uses tresme extra hold hair spray. [laughter] i know. fancy, $5. it's for average joes with orange hair. [laughter] trump would often point out to valuers offices -- oval office visitors where clinton and lewinskyed had sex. [laughter] who wouldn't do that? it's like the most interesting thing to happen in the oval office. it's a stain on our history hisd the office rug. [laughter] so the media waits breathlessly on its hind legs. it says more about the median than simms -- media than simms. tossing him onto the pile of knackers who came -- narcs who came before him. and the media wonders we have
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such a low opinion of the media? because they have a low opinion of you. theynk think we actually want this. worse, they think it matters because they're still nursing bruises from 2016. it's why the rest of us felt satisfied when the daily telegraph had to pay money to melania for make up [bleep] about her. and some of that crap was taken from a previous tell-all which contained other [bleep] imagine that, an unreliable tell-all, whot. could that? -- how could that be? that's why it's always a shockinghy tell-all, not a flattering tell-all. as a boss, i know i could be the target of such things. they're doing a documentary on me right now, and i gotta tell you, it's not pretty. ♪ >> what's it like to work for greg? [laughter] >> well, one day last year he made me stay late. it was my birthday, and he knew that i wanted to go out with my friends. and he said, no, you still have
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to work anyway. [laughter] said it was important. and he sent me downtown to go pick up a package for him. and when i got there, he had thrown, like, this huge surprise party for me. all my friends and family were somehow.iends and family were abba was out there performing an outdoor concert, it was amazing. [laughter] eric estrada was there signing autographs for people. how did greg know he was my long lost half brother? [laughter] when i ask people how greg pulled this off and why wasn't he there, they told me he was at my apartment watering my plants, 'cuz he knewy i wouldn't be able to do it that night. [laughter] i mean, what a guy. greg: that wasn't so bad. [laughter] [applause] you can clap for me. not for him. [cheers and applause] not over. basically, a tell-all relies on trash and a low-level garbage man who needs money to offer such trash, because no publisher
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is fork -- is going to fork out the dough. you can't do a tell-all about a boring person. you know, chapter one, he stretched. imagine -- [laughter] a tell-all about mike pence. [laughter] rumor has it his wife once caught him looking at another woman. [laughter] it wast the virgin mary. [laughter] nope, if you lived any kind of life, there's going to be dirt. me, i got more dirt than "el chapo"'s fingernails. [laughter] here's what my staff is saying about me. ♪ ♪ >> so you and greg have worked together for a while. are you guys close? >> one time he invited me to his office. it was late, we were alone, one thing led to another, and he found my cat. he had just gone missing the day before. i was so grateful.
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then, when i got home, i saw that he'd made a donation to a local hospital in my name. he never even mentioned it. he also did my laundry. greg: that could have been worse. [laughter] so the media gets its injection of gossip, cliff simms was a low-level hack, but they can go even lower. i can't wait to see the next books, you know, grounds for impeachment as told by the white house gardener. [laughter] boiling over, i burned trump's steaks and 12 other chapters from the white house chef. [laughter] inside trump, a memory with fold-out colonoscopies. fact is, everyone has something to say and, frankly, identify got to say -- i've got to say that worries me. ♪ ♪ >> has greg ever gotten mad at you for anything? >> yeah. one time i was really late. my train was delayed, and by the time i got there, greg was in my
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office. and he looked pissed. then he looked at me and he said, ie thought you were dead, and he got up, and he hugged me. the biggest, best hug i've ever had. better than any of my dad's hugs even. and then he pulled out his wallet and gave me $600 for no reason. [laughter] greg: the richer the life, the juicier the tell-all which is why nobody will ever care about the jim acosta tell-all. by the way, it's called my angry cure for sleep apnea, because no one in the media will ever get a tell-all like the ones they give to trump. what's the difference between the press and trump? he's interesting. the media, not even close. well, except for me. [laughter] [applause] ♪ >> so you've known greg for a really long time. do you have any cool stories from the red eye days? >> yeah, sure. back in 2012 i was on my way to
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greg's house, and i heard screaming. i knew it wasn't greg's screams, but it just kept getting louder and louder and louder. so i just kicked in the door and what i saw was unbelievable. greg was delivering a baby. apparently, when not at fox -- [laughter] greg volunteers as a midwife. [laughter] so i apologized about the door, and he said, oh, don't worry about that old thing. here, have a hoguegy. [laughter] >> what happened after that? >> oh, he gave me $of -- 600. >> last month i was pretty convinced greg had a drinking problem. he would only drink seven glasses of water a day s and when i told him he should drink eight, he took my advice and anthen doubled my salary. [laughter] now i can quit my night job at the refinery and spend more time volunteering at the orphanage greg founded. [laughter] >> so you were with greg in the
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early days. any stories from back then? >> oh, yeah. well, i don't really like to talk about it that much, but back in the early days there were a lot of late nights, and greg got me hooked on drugs. baby aspirin. now every day i take a baby aspirin, becausese it reduces yr risk of heart disease. you know, i didn't know this at the time, but before the gg show, greg practiced medicine at thisis orphanage he founded. [laughter] he also gave me $60 once. [laughter] $600. [applause] >> let's welcome tonight's guests. homeless people give him change, comedian jimmy -- [inaudible] [cheers and applause]co try saying her name drunk, fox business reporter christina parts never loss! she cheered at the end of ole
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yeller, host of the tyrus and tim of podcast, kat timpf! and former wwe superstar and the host of nbc -- tyrus! [cheers and applause] >> jimmy, good to see you dressed up again. >> i did. [laughter] greg: it's suiting you. >> killing me -- don't assume my gender, by the way. greg: i'm sorry about that. these tell-alls, don't they have to step it up a bit? >> i'llel be honest, i'm waiting for the box set. when you do go in to sell one of these books, you have to get the publisher interested, so they do at lot of embellishing. i know this, i have a book out. if you like reading at a third grade level, you will love this book. at the same time you'ree kind of appreciative of it, because could you imagine how boring the tell-alls about hillary clinton would be?
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greg: oh, my god. >> i think she gets pretty drunker. [laughter] greg: the only -- >> i would have thought it would have been which colored power suit should she wear for that day. >> spoken like a fan of the power suit. greg: this is quite a power suit. you're a business person, so i'm told. this is actually a business. i mean, trump is basically revitalizing the tell-alls. >> yeah, no, why not capitalize on this. you've seen literally political fails, so even if you just saw him dry by, you're the gardener, the cook, why not write a book about it? as you mentioned at the top of the show, they're capitalizing. everybody. i've run read one of them, fear by bob woodward, there was nothing in it that was really exciting or to write about. greg: kat, who would you rather be, the subject of a tell-all or the writer of a tell-all.
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and then i realized, you actually occupy the same space. [laughter] 'cuz you're like your own tell-all. >> yeah. i really just kind of wear all my secrets on my sleeve, and then i'm like, why doesn't anyone like me, you know? [laughter] this wasn't shocking. it was more of the same, right? things were a little crazy in the white house. greg: yes. >> we knew that already. that's like someone writing a them all about the kardashians that wasas like, they wear make. [laughter] really not that shocking. it'd be shocking if somebody came out with a that said i worked for trump, and i was bored. [laughter] no matter how many of these books come out, it doesn't really matter because no one really cares. the people who support the president, they're going to support him no matter what's going on in the white house because they like his policy proposal, they like his agenda, and that's all that matters to them. it's kind of t a waste. greg: i enjoy the little
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tidbits, but they mean nothing to me. like -- >> really, greg? little tidbits in a tell-all mean nothing to you? greg: yes. what are you trying to infer? >> i don't know, my tell-all wasn't up there. l[laughter] greg: do your tell-all. >> i didn't get any -- you asked every employee, no one even knew who holly was. they do now. [laughter] >> oh! >> why was i not asked, why was i not asked? greg: you don't live in new york! >> i've been here since wednesday, sir. [laughter] it must be nice. you know, mr. president, you can take a page out of the gut gutfeld -- he did his own tell-all. he direct it, he produced it. i don't know if you guys noticed, but that muffled voice, that was greg. [laughter] he asked t them, he sat while ty talkedded the about how great he was.ut greg: yeah, that's true. >> what's name of your orphanage?
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greg: greg's orphanage. google it. >> anybody want to google that? [laughter] so i guess my point is that tell-alls are [bleep] [laughter] greg: there we go, thank you for that. >> you're welcome. greg: that leaves more time for the next segment. before we go, an update on the gutfeld monologues live. the show in tampa is sold out. i never sold out anything. >> sold me out. greg: i did not sell you out! go to ggutfeld.com. up next, why do some candidates promise things we can't afford? we have a video that will explain everything. [cheers and applause] ble. let's redecorate. whatsyamatter tanya, i thought you loved being spontaneous? i do. and if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage, i might break the bank too.
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stimulant laxatives forcefully stimulate i switched to stimulant-free miralax for my constipation. the nerves in your colon. miralax is different. it works with the water in your body to unblock your system naturally. and it doesn't cause harsh side effects. that's why i choose miralax. look for the pink cap. we know that when you're spending time with the grandkids every minute counts. and you don't have time for a cracked windshield.
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greg: will hitting the stump reelect trump? howard schultz is ticking off dams for running for president as a independent. he will split the votes and reelect otto. and he doesn't know anything about materials. >> how much does an 18-ounce box of cheerios cost? >> in 18-ounce box of cheerios? i don't need cheerios. >> us budgets for the va and will ask you questions like absolutely, i don't need
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cheerios. >> it's $4. >> well, that's a lot. greg: i wonder what they eat for breakfast? spotted owls. move that thing up there a bit. meanwhile, the medicare for all be that dems build the wall? democrats have a third-round pick ideas lately. medicare for all. kicking private insurance to the curb and taxing the superrich but another democrat is a billionaire is not impressed. right mike bloomberg? >> replace the entire private system where companies provide healthcare for their employees would bankrupt us for a very long time. greg: he's got the charisma of a baby platypus. what a buzz kill. why can't you have big overpromising dreams like the democrats? i think we should have what they are having. >> the bottom line and most important is that everyone have access to healthcare. that is the goal and that is the purpose for me supporting the
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policy of medicare for all. everyone has access to healthcare. >> freed us, free that, democrats are promising people the world. what drugs are the argument there on demo tracks. it block the signals in the brain responsible for reason, logic, math and history so you adopt a completely unrealistic worldview. it makes you overpromising and you can't possibly deliver on. >> if you take it, people will like you and things were cool. >> i am in. honey, will you please take out the trash? >> of the better than that but take out the whole neighborhood trash. and i'll do it in five minutes or less and then i will turn our trash into gold and silver and move into a mansion made of chocolate with a pool filled with the american dream. the american dream. >> what a psycho?
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thank you can have that report done by next friday? >> what about now? i have it right here. >> that's a banana. >> no, it's my report. it is my reports. >> did, you told me we would play catch. >> again? >> yeah, after you helped me with my side project you told me you would teach me how to drive. >> i did. that's right. i'm not done any of those things. and yet i feel great. thank you demotrex. get demotrex today. [applause] greg: we should hire child actors to play children and not a guy with a full on beard. tyrus: could you just pull one from your orphanage? greg: that is child labor,
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tyrus. what you make of the -- will that make a comeback? tyrus: obviously not, they're having a heart attack because he's running as an independent but we can have people vote for what they want to the idea of having three candidates is a good thing or maybe four. americans should have a choice but you can't tell someone you can't run because malachite will get enough votes if you run. that is literally hate, tyrus, you can't lift weights with me because you lift more weight for me. greg: could be the politics don't matter and it's about persuasion and saying memorable stuff? kat: nothing matters, greg. i just think it's amazing how far left the democrats have moved. they have moved so far left they make president obama look like ron paul. [laughter] remember president obama said he said if you like your plan, you can keep your plan. that ended up not being true police he felt like he had to lie and now we have come all of
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your estate if you like your plan, go [bleep] yourself. that is basically what she's saying. that is really -- it's a nice way of saying that. it is. it is not popular either. it's a real gift to republicans. survey last year said 71% of people with employer-sponsored coverage like their plans and survey from last week said that when they were informed that medicare for all would eliminate private insurance companies only 37% of people reported it. bret, i can do special reports. greg: that was her audition fo for -. tyrus: cap, you bail me out. >> usually it's a rule that only three numbers never get more than that and she a great. kat: bret, are you watching? >> greg brought up a good point. why should be in a country where it's either to side, black and white, exactly, shoulders
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concerning any doesn't know how much a box of cheerios is in establish that. tyrus: neither does she. >> i literally by the honey not roast recently but the issue as you know backers and here is a billionaire coming to the table but however you just brought up the fact that the party is going to last. maybe it's a compliment because aoc is an excellent example. she's taking a page from trump's book and going after the rich so they can potentially benefit all of america. look, it is apposite that they are doing what trump is done. greg: my problem is with cheerios -- does anyone he cheerios broth? [laughter] kat: i quite enjoy it. greg: i only date men with material breath says cat. >> i think howard schultz should ask how much music lessons cost. no one talks about the perks of a howard schultz presidency. we can all use the white house
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bathroom now and i'm not even defending them but i hate to say the term billionaire of lamb. to be honest, howard schultz is the epitome of the american dream. he grew up in housing project and turned into the guy who created starbucks that is inspirational. it is aspirational. that being said, i'm a dunkin donuts man not a starbucks fan. it has better table conversations when you get a coffee at starbucks and eavesdropped on the people next to the talking about. >> house the developing in la and having an argument with her lawyer about what they can put down but go to dunkin' donuts the guy is arguing with himself. [laughter] the spaceship is out of gas again. greg: the scary part is he's the security guy. we did not get a chance to talk about cory booker. i figured out why he talks the way he does. he talks like he just ate a hot slice of pizza.
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jon: i'm jon scott. the pentagon reports it is deploying nearly 4,000 additional troops to the u.s./mexican border raising the number of troops to 4300. earlier today trump called the committee a, quote, waste of time. there's a good chance he'll declare a national emergency to go around congress. eastern virginia medical school is preparing to launch an investigation into all its past yearbook withs. the probe follows the discovery of a racist photo on virginia governor ralph northam's yearbook page. the image has triggered demands for his resignation, but northam says he is staying punishment i'm jon scott. i'll see you at the top of the hour for the fox report. now back to the greg gutfeld show.
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greg: i'd rather be to live the listen to maroon five. [laughter] this week the nfl cancel the traditional game conference. the last maroon five i got to hear, the better. gladys knight is a legend and singing the national anthem and i know that song. i don't know any maroon five except for this crappy one. ♪. greg: but i know gladys will unite us all even though the room five gets all the coverage. that and that stupid british actor who slammed tom brady for having a maga hat. shut up, stupid british actor actor. then there's the tv producer they got fired for making a graphic with a cheater under tom
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brady. and then the super bowl ads even watching online all week. my favorite was this one. [laughter] greg: i bet that will not air. anyway, christina, i hate half-time -- well i've been saying this for ten years that the halftime show since it went pop with celebrity it sucks. we should go back to high school marching band and truck villa. >> but think of all the people who don't care for the game but want to tune into the halftime show. greg: they are losers. >> you had janet jackson's boob out one time. greg: that was the downhill. tyrus: that was one of the greatest moments in history. excuse me, sir. greg: she got brutalized. tyrus: not by me and my house. greg: and justin timberlake got
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away with murder. tyrus: who? greg: once the boob came out everything else was a blur. greg: stopped dropping my name like you all know me. jimmy, my favorite story is this hairless surgeon who played harry potter and he was mad at tom brady because tom brady has a relationship with trump and wears a red hat. he's just trying to score points. shut up. that's what i say. >> is so pointless to hate on tom brady. i'm not a tom brady. but i love people who say yeah brady can suck it. brady is going home to a supermodel in a mansion and going home to a jar of hand cream in your mom's basement. i think he's got the win here. greg: you just like to most rice. >> that being said, i don't think brady is as motivated to motivated and when the white house because he's serving
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fasting. the matter who you root for it's one of the last vestiges of common culture we have in this country that a lot of people watch. all i care about is the food, feed your kids, feed a family, stuff your kid senses. although studies that they may too many obese kids, yet for what they don't tell you is that kidnappings are down by 30%. you can't get them in the car quick enough anymore. imagine being a can never, get in the car and the does it contain peanuts? greg: nothing better than kidnapping jokes, i say. are you watching the game or are you watching it for the ads as everyone likes to say when they're at starbucks? kat: on the one hand, i love days of important football gam games. tyrus: liar. kat: because they're the only ones i feel less emotional than other people because i don't care. on the other hand, i absolutely
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hate football. it's 10% action, 90% people walking around with occasionally spitting. tyrus: don't you look at me. kat: it is so boring. if i wanted to see that i could look out my window and i do have a window, tyrus, not to brag. and you know what? football is everywhere. you can't go into a bar during football season without football, football, football, where are the bars for the ones of us who want to watch forensic files or toddler interiors and don't they knock it until you try it because i try. i went to the bar and watch football and one up getting bored and journaling in the corner and then everyone like me, left. greg: tyrus, he played pro ball so who is this rams? tyrus: who are the rams? sometimes -- okay -- you just stop.
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greg: their group of people in la. tyrus: shut up, greg. the super bowl is my christmas. i enjoy watching it. it is fun. i don't care about the halftime show that i owe enjoy the hoagies and it's a great time. those of you who don't like it, i'm excited to see the pictures but i'm guessing 31-17. i will have fun because the parades will stop but we've got one more year. enjoy it. greg: new orleans there bars are playing the old game and boycotting which is hilarious. tyrus: i live in louisiana so it was hilarious -- they have a sign on the causeway biggest bridge watch what you doing unlike some referees. new orleans ain't letting the scope it they're not letting this go. greg: my protection is it will be a close game, 11-ten and 15 innings. tyrus: ever seen predator? that's what i want to do to gregory now. greg: up next, the zoo has the perfect valentine's day gift for
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treatments like keytruda with chemotherapy ng time to be treating advanced lung cancer. really break through barriers that we had not too many years ago. (avo) another tru story with keytruda. in a clinical trial, significantly more patients lived longer and saw their tumors shrink than on chemotherapy alone. (dr. kloecker) it's changed my approach to treating patients. (avo) keytruda may be used with certain chemotherapies as
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your first treatment if you have advanced nonsquamous, non-small cell lung cancer and you do not have an abnormal "egfr" or "alk" gene. keytruda helps your immune system fight cancer, but can also cause your immune system to attack healthy parts of your body. this can happen during or after treatment and may be severe and lead to death. see your doctor right away if you have new or worse cough, chest pain, shortness of breath, diarrhea, severe stomach pain or tenderness, nausea or vomiting, rapid heartbeat, increased hunger or thirst, constipation, dizziness or fainting, changes in urine or eyesight, muscle pain or weakness, joint pain, confusion or memory problems, fever, rash, itching, or flushing. these are not all the possible side effects. tell your doctor about all your medical conditions, including immune system problems, if you've had an organ transplant, had or plan to have a stem cell transplant, or have lung, breathing, or liver problems. (dr. kloecker) any day you can give good news to a patient is a good day. (avo) living longer is possible. it's tru. keytruda, from merck. with more fda-approved uses for advanced lung cancer
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than any other immunotherapy. greg: screw the brooch, give her a roach. for the $15 dinners in the bronx to let you name one of the roaches in their road to exhibit after your ask for valentine's day. or you could name one after your current sweetheart if they're into that sort of thing. the bronx zoo does not judgment but they last longer than a roach so it could be sent as a symbolic gesture about how long your level last or exactly the opposite. some say that love is like a roach, elusive, resilient and daring. put a lot of thought into this. but when it comes to valentine's day so do i, here's a montage of some of the gifts i have purchased for my wife over the years. into ♪ ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ ♪ greg: there he is. kat: why are you going to me first? greg: i assume you're kind of an expert. kat: absolutely. i am personally prefer to be friends with all my exes because that way i can still be a source of emotional support in a target for their ablation even though we broke up but the best of both worlds but yeah, if you're spending $2 to get a roach named after your ask to prove how ticked you are you're still spending $2 on your ask. use that $2 to do something that proves you are over them like
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paypal in it to your crush with a little note that says i love you. i think ron paul will reply one of these days. [laughter] >> where the hell is this crazy -. greg: christina? >> the bronx is doing it for $15 and you can do it for the next or someone you love and these are hissing cockroaches? first of all, what even is that? do they make noises or do they kill them "after words"? is it a symbol of my internal a. if it is in x, squash it. greg: then it's on the bottom of your shoe. >> than they make eggs until they spread? greg: jimmy? >> this is idiotic. their local residents can get roaches for free in their apartments. actually, all of new york. greg: i lived in midtown and i could have opened up my own
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cockroach factory. >> let me say, i would never pay $2 to buy someone a roach for valentine's day. i would wait until the day after and get it for 1 dollar. greg: beautiful roaches, tyrus. i have a feeling you have strong feelings about this. tyrus: about roaches? greg: about valentine's day. tyrus: they remind me that i never get anything right. i am not that guy. i think a punch in the arm and a good job is a good job but apparently you have to have flowers and stuff. as a guy who can relate to having bad ideas like hey, let's go lift weights together on valentine's day because ladies are not into that. this was a bad idea from a dude scientist who thought it would be cute to send his girl a cockroach and named it after her fed and blew up miserably and to drive to bring the rest of us guys to fall for it it was for charity. bad ideas, fellas. even hissing cockroaches.
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>> obviously -. tyrus: they are really big and cool but two weeks ago when you were screaming the cockroach try to get away from you, i had to save you from it and i walked among the door like bro, sorry. kat: i can appreciate that. tyrus: i'm not afraid of something that i'm 1700 times bigger than it did me and wrote one on one it will not be good for him. kat: but it's like -. tyrus: that is you being creepy. greg: we have to roll but when you're doing your impression of a cockroach this is why i don't eat lobster. i look at the food and the crabs and this is just giant cockroaches from the ocean. how do you eat -- i can't even get into that. tyrus: like everyone loves a squirrel but everyone hates the rapid what's the difference? the tale. if a rat got an afro bait be all
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greg: apparently, noah knew the meaning of her tattoo. areata ground day is a new single called seven rings, it's a big head. she goes to get a tattoo on her hand and says seven rings in japanese except that does not say seven rings but that says barbecue grill. then she went to get the tattoo fixed and still it doesn't say seven rings and she added that character forefinger to the tattoo now it says japanese barbecue finger. big mistake. another lesson about tattoos and regrets, absolutely. tattoos are a big commitment and
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you have to love your ink the one i got on my back. yeah. [laughter] i said tattoo of a hairy back on my back. second thoughts about that as well. tyrus, i have a theory. tattoos should have a use like in case of an emergency you pull up your sleep. if you get invited to a baby shower you say i love to go and pull your sleeve back and says the satanic baby eating club. [laughter] tyrus: that is really specific. you have to wait a long time to get that specific people with tattoos are freaks and mean and eat babies? what is wrong with you? i have tattoos. the only thing i don't do is one, put languages i don't speak on my body. you want to go with what you're reading. i applaud the tattoo artist and we need to get them on the show because she does not tip well. and it's rude to know that she would be that weight to regular people so yeah, that's right,
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absolutely. and then she came back. so he was like yeah, finger. so someone puts one finger on you we all know what that means. greg: that's right. tyrus: penalty, if you get a tattoo, one, researcher, make sure it's in your language and never get names. unless it's your kids because you can't get rid of your kids. but like, girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands. greg: don't do it. tyrus: don't do it. then you have to find the exact same name or you have that really awful x line to the name with the roses run it. we all know and we all see through. greg: this is the only point of having a child is to tattoo them when they are a baby on their little baldhead you tattoo it and then they never see it until they are old and you are dead
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and it's something really cool like steve gutenberg is your real father. kat: this is my question? this is what you have selected for me? greg: yes, i you don't have tattoos. kat: no, i don't have tattoos but if i did -- when i order a pizza i like extra marinara sauce on the side and i get bummed out when they forget it. when i make the order on my app after i am done i call and say i want to make sure that you got the extra marinara sauce. takes extra time but it is worth it. you would think if you were going to get something permanently drawn onto your body would also think the extra time would be worth it just check. he's not checked twice now. >> i think she asked the japanese tutor so i don't know why people do this. whether to be exotic or cultural
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but now we know this singer over here will be the japanese barbecue finger not to be confused with anything else. i still don't get it. greg: this is the finger i use when i do japanese barbecue. >> who knows about the other o one. greg: jimmy? >> ariana grande should stick to doing what she knows best, loudly comedian -- a. [laughter] it's a feel-good story because now she thanks were laughing at her for her tattoo and not her music. which is absurd. everyone laughing at this online was like oh my goodness, she has is intended to and admit 80% of the people who have asian tattoos don't know -- they put us. example, you know that nintendo wii for your playing all of all in front of your tv with no one like a jack ass. every wheel by his a camera that means back to asia during prime time and it's the highest rated
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comedy in television history right now. they're watching that americans play volleyball with no one. greg: i hope that's the only thing they're watching because anyway -- final thoughts, next. anyway -- final thoughts, next. [cheering and applause] hey, who are you? oh, hey jeff, i'm a car thief... what?! i'm here to steal your car because, well, that's my job. what? what?? what?! (laughing) what?? what?! what?! [crash] what?! haha, it happens. and if you've got cut-rate car insurance, paying for this could feel like getting robbed twice. so get allstate... and be better protected from mayhem... like me. ♪
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every minute counts. and you don't have time for a cracked windshield. that's why we show you exactly when we'll be there. saving you time, so you can keep saving the world. >> kids: ♪ safelite repair, safelite replace ♪ greg: real quick, one minute. tyrus: check out the water-based starting yours truly out on amazon and netflix. >> i'm the right headlight or and it's the best rancho and all cable news monday and i'm here. >> i was going to go either japanese barbecue finger and a time bigger and they're all finger licking good. greg: excellent. >> you guys got serious. kat: when i was a child i used to eat rock salt off the ground. [laughter] greg: that is it for us. things to jimmy, christina, kat
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timpf, tyrus in our studio audience. i love you, america. [cheering and applause] if congress is not formed a border wall. but even i'm jon scott. this is the "fox report". the present from his florida home in mar-a-lago saying there's a good chance it was a clear national emergency and go around congress if nancy's policy refuses to budge. >> i don't take these off the table. i don't like to do that. it is an alternative, it is national emergency. it is other things and they been plenty of national emergencies called. and this really is an invasion of our cou
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