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tv   The Greg Gutfeld Show  FOX News  February 23, 2019 10:00pm-11:00pm PST

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. >> join us now is commerce woman maxine waters. chairwoman waters thank you for being here tonight it's nice to have you here. >> [laughter] she is cutting out. oh no. can you hear me quick. >> not that well. >> we'll take a quick break i will send a bunch of elves over we will be back with you in just a moment we think we have fixed our gremlins. >> can you hear me quick. >> barely. >> i will talk louder. >> i don't know what's happenin happening.
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>> i will try that she had been asking for documents and testimony from deutsche bank as it pertains to president trumps and he was sworn in what you interested in quick. >> would you repeat that one more time? [laughter] . >>. >> what a bad week for the activist press. laura logan everybody is pulling out their hair. [laughter] $250million that's a lot of money. the paper makes $100 million off of digital ad sales alone that's a lot of money that is
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more than i make it a year. [laughter] how do they make all that many? that brings eyeballs that makes money so get your piece you earned it without you how would cuomo afford the daily waxing? at least daily and now with the media ready conflict with the tornadoes at the normal suspect all white brat in a red hat sadly it turns out his white racist were nigerian bodybuilders - - bodybuilders. their abs have abs. [laughter] they have more muscles than a mollusk convention. if i had access to those washboard that would be doing laundry every night of the week. [laughter]
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smollet paid them 3500 but he makes $60000 per show so he is just cheap. [bleep] now these cases with the kavanaugh smear called journalistic ethics. intersectional studies. . >> the media everywhere is liberal 85 percent are registered to democrats. most are left of liberal democrat.
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then disappears faster than taylor swift's boyfriends. don't expect the emperor to tell you about it. the fox is known for eating peoples lunches. >> sean hannity and will eat smollet lunch every single second he will eat smollet lunch every single second spirit the president of the united states lead his lunch. >> i'm getting hungry. and then so smollet saw the media for what it was, suckers and i kind of admire it but if you're only mad he was used by us as fodder while missing the fact he made you look like a dumb ass then you truly are a lemon. [laughter] these moments have been piling up and they were driven by the
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agenda and the profit maker is always conflict. >> even those homophobic slurs you know, how serious this crime is right now. >> in real life smollet is black and gay which could be a motivation for the hate crime spirit just as people who wear hats that say mag a i don't think it is put out there that this is a possible hate crime. >> this is america 2019. >> celebs placed the blame where it belongs on mike pence. >> it's not impossible with the president or vice president. this is what happens if you
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are in a position of power and you hate people and you want to cause suffering to them, you go to the trouble and spend your career trying to cause sufferin suffering. >> i tried to sit through her last movie she should know that is suffering. and then i wonder how they will discuss how pence did not create a crime that did not exist. here we held our tongues even though it stink like a bathroom after curry night at the rest home ff that trumps supporters stocking the chicago streets at 2:00 a.m. carrying a news going after an actor on a show they don't watch and recognize him?
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and the same as me as a babysitter. the sandwich brexit was a subway. maybe that's the next gig. who writes checks to nigerians? maybe your aunt on your birthday. and then the media that wanted it so badly to be true. wire the so common? all of those that have cause and effect are now employed in the media the virus makes you stupid did i say stupid? yes i did. some people were sad i am
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always thrilled when a hate crime turned out to be false so that means i'm thrilled a lot. where hate crimes have to be made up because the demand exceeds the supply. but if you are still sad because it is your bias sets you up as a willing stooge. media owns a story. attention professionals are you hungry for the profits and go to the seminar. >> i will show you some headlines you can tell me how you will rewrite them for maximum profit. okay? here's the first one. the storm to blanket.
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>> midwest man wins mega millions jackpot. >>. >> you are a natural. and then to celebrate the 95th birthday? . >> that republican voter turns 95. >> the church youth group holds a bake sale for flood victims. >> extremist view have victims of carbon toxin. >> yes the house fire in australia injured seven. a volcano injured only in
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trumps america. >> you all passed with flying colors i am so proud of you. get out there and do some journalism. [applause] . >> if your victims are chronic doctor drew. [applause] . >> he really got bin laden to open up. and she's only happy when she's feeling crappy. and the last time they had to call the fire department when they blew out the candles. [applause]
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doctor drew you are a doctor or so you say has america turned into one big church of victimhood quick. >> not only that we give such credibility to be a victim they want to be a certain kind of victim so badly we are seeing an epidemic with the same construct that people want to be a victim. greg: for this guy is better to be a victim than to be the star of a show. that is insane. >> i've been doing a lot of thinking. and it's all about exactly what happened. >> even he was shocked. . >> that might be the case. >> i am a straight white kid
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who could be on the cover of a magazine i've never been a victim of hate crime. >> but another to make it happen. so is this meal or making it up? i don't think it's over salary but he hated trumps so much to make them hate trump more. >> it might sound ridiculous bu but. >> but i would beat them with the meat. [laughter] that cannot be bleeped. thank you. [laughter] i am being applauded for strange sentence. [laughter] . >> this whole thing confuses me. i love attention. i love it so much it pushes people away. [laughter]
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however i don't think racist homophobic attack on myself attention as he heard about posting a cell fee on instagram or starting a fight with his boyfriend or pretending to be pregnant? these are all better ways like writing to ride a unicycle. they have invented bikes with two wheels. greg: true. send the letters to cat that you are doing it for the attention. >> all four of those letters. [laughter] what are your thoughts? . >> you sure got really creepy there. [laughter] literally every time he made a
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great point he slid in something creepy. mission or cry for help? . >> and we should all be unified together. and i was talking to doctor drew about this and figuring out why he did this with the salary and whatever i actually miss this behavior quite often in my own life in my own home. running in the yard back and forth as i have to do work maybe watching espn on my phone and it says my leg. what happened? a shark. [laughter] and then look at me.
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and a dinosaur. what do we do? oh my poor baby. i give her a hug. >> just. [bleep] a hug. she - - he should have paid them $3500 to hug him. [applause] d7 we have to roll but i think it is 92 the day the people are coming from the campus doctor drew and libertarian. >> watch your mouth. >> then if you believe the stor story. none of you believed it but the staff people work at msnbc or cnn in the newsrooms bought it. they bought it it's the return
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this is the new wave, and whoever doesn't get on, i think they would be left behind. just one more way we go beyond at&t. right now get fast, reliable internet and add wifi pro for a low price. comcast business. beyond fast. d7 can this old fellow get the domination or the abomination? bernie sanders to the island of crete with the dominick monash democratic nomination he's been in politics for ever - - and hasn't combed his hair in 35 years he is in his seventies which is worse than worshiping satan he almost beat hillary in the primary so maybe he thinks he can get the nomination if she's not running. [laughter] kirstin jell-o brand? who is paying attention to her? . >> would have to step away from those bold ideas.
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>> i'm sorry can i just get some ranch. [laughter] it would have been better if she asked jell-o brand for ranch. don't ever be the candidate giving away ranch dressing and what about joe? he told his audience in germany america was an embarrassment the biggest asset is he is always stupid. the nomination could end up those are three more homes than cat who lives in a garage. but it would be fun to watch him versus trump. what do you think bernie? civic and that tendency to focus on those side issues. >> and buying the stairway to heaven.
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>> as they approached. >> when she gets there that she can get what she came for. >> i want to ask a couple of things about your early life. >> and she buys the stairway to heaven. >> if you are responsible and in the leadership. [applause] there is a sign on the wall she wants to be sure because sometimes words have two meaning. >> so many people say they cannot be activists because the millennial's are idealistic and they think it is cool. >> i never should have had the three bean salad it always comes back always a three bean i hope that's just gas. they will think pelosi did it.
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[laughter] [applause] does he still have the mojo? . >> getting over the socialist thing the democratic socialism which is a bunch of nonsense but when he announced his candidacy he brought an $8 million share the wealth a little bit especially with us and that $300,000 on private airfare last month it's hard to be a socialist when you live like a capitalist. >> what do you think cat are you scared we can have a socialist president. >> i will not rest until everybody in this country has zero dollars i love bernie's supporters i am sick socialist act like they are so altruistic we could give you this but not those mean republicans you could be sick they want you to be hungry then they want you to die and
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then you watch your grandma die. no. in order to give you something you have to actually own it first they are not giving away their own stuff if your boyfriend takes you out to dinner and buys your present you'd probably be very happy unless you found out he used your credit card to pay for it. >> here we go. >> it's only acceptable if you are nine and the person is your mother and you made it for her but no. i'm sick of libertarian talk about generosity it is about control and big government and taking from people not giving. [applause] [cheers and applause] . >> i agree. greg: the illusion is that government is free in the socialist are giving it to you but really it's taking from the free market. >> yeah that's pretty deep at the illusion is the media. america isn't trying to be
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victims the media is painting victims and expecting america to buy into it bernie sanders is a legit contender despite cnn and other left-wing media efforts they are pitch in it one - - pitching this great new group of seven candidates then bernie announces and $6 million in 24 hours how much of the other guys made? not that she got 2 million after one week she is strong about six or seven or $16 pocahontas owes money. [laughter] and that goes against their message of the new left because now they feel they can tell you watch how this goes down this will be a boring time for president trump i will not be able to handle it they will go after bernie sanders for everything because
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that's not who they want that is a fun story how they keep throwing things at bernie all kinds of little stories they will leak all of these anonymous tips about his behavior what's out there somewhere that we don't know about? and greg gutfeld on the weekends you don't know but i guarantee there will be some stuff. here we go. >> doctor drew quick. >> in two years? the just being a male will take them out as a contender. >> what is the problem with the 2020 candidates. we have the answer next. [cheers and applause] this is the all-new chevy silverado. it's beautiful. beefy and mean looking. it's the strongest, most advanced silverado ever.
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[♪] anita: live from "america's news headquarters." i'm anita vogel. three people are believed dead after a cargo plane crashed into trinity bay near houston, texas. witnesses say the 747 turned sharply into a nosedive. radio contact was lost 30 miles southeast of houston's george
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bush airport. r & b singer r. kelly in bond court where a judge set bail at $1 million. kelly turned himselfn in to police after he was charged with four counts of sexual abuse. prosecutors say i repeatedly out out underaged girls for sex, even while he was on trial. greg: it's the unwanted name of a trump nickname. the associated press is reporting president trump is work on labels for the 2020 candidate. i'm so excited. new nicknames. it's like waiting for a rich relative to die. i don'tin feel that good about . but there is that payoff.
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let's remember some of his most of memorableem monikers. >> i have given my answer, lyin'' ted. nor energy tonight. she is crooked hillary. i have got more indian flood in me than pocahontas. lyin' ted. what's your name? my name is lyin' ted cruz. i never attacked him on his looks and believe me there is plenty subject matter right there. that i can tell you. greg: he didn't give him a nickname butut said he could. he picked them off one marco at a time. nicknames helped him. they are short, they get in your head andnd they work. suzy, how are the democrats reacting to this news?
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>> [bleep] greg: all right, tyrus, you changed your name many times. tyrus: that's personal. greg: trump can choose a nickname that isn't obvious until itna is. tyrus:ut that's what somebody brought to the desk and said breaking news? you didn't need a news source or know he's going to call people names. this is what i'm talking about when they always talk about him. just wait for it. if you say something he don't like he'll crown you. he's a habitual name caller. greg: if he was around in the past he would have called abe
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lincoln grave abe. and george washington gums. >> or woody. greg: or woody. greg: do you have a nickname, dr. drew? >> klobuchar. greg: news came out she didn't have a fork on the plane and used her comb to eat her salad. comey klobuchar. kat: i love egg salad. i really like egg salad. greg: it doesn't love me. why did you bring that up? kat: that's the kind of salad she was eating. greg: who eats salad on a plane because it's sulfur. where are we in this segment?
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kat: i don't know. i am just upset because trump doesn't have a name for me. i was thinking sponge bob arms. greg:: he doesn't do physicalit. he didn't say you were lazy. he says low energy. he doesn't look at the physical stuff. kat: i am trying to figure out which nickelodeon character my body most of resembles. it's translates. what about you, rob? >> i was talking to a friend of mine who works for fox. i don't want to name drop. we said kamala harris was apparently smoking weed to tupac
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and snoop dogg before they were making albums so we could call her run dnc. greg: it can't be clever. it's -- tyrus: the blunt lady. hey, what's up. shortness, have you got something to say? greg: cannabis kamala. you can have that, donald. we are on a first-name basis until he kills me. do i have any other nicknames. >> you personally? tyrus: you have more of the devil.mo greg: the alabama lady who joined isis and now wants to come back. my teeth have always been a very sore spot for me,
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[♪] greg: bolshevik bernie. she decided to attack but wanted to come back. i speak of hoda who at 19 left alabama to fight with isis. she had a kid with one of them. and she tweeted about killing americans. we all did crazy things back then. but now the husbands are dead and she and her baby are stuck in syria. and she wants to come home. even new jersey is better than a syrian detention cam. >> go on drive by and spill all their blood, drive all over them. veterans, memorial day, kill them. >> i can't believe that.
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the mere i knew it wasn't good. greg: trump had his own tweet saying no way. saying she is not a citizen and can't come back. her dad is a diplomat. her pop has filed a suit. they want her to return and face america's justice system. i wonder what hoda thinks her punishment should be be therapy lessons? >> maybe therapy lessons to insure i won't ever do this again. jail time, i don't know if that has an effect on people. i need help mentally as well. i don't have the ideology anymore but i'm traumatized from my experience. greg: should she be allowed back? what do you think, cockatoo corey?
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cockatoo corey. nickname. cory booker, cockatoo cory. i just came up with it. thank you. the problem, america, we don't forgive, but we forget. in three years she'll be doing commentary on some network. >> i remember when it was romanticized to join isis and join the caliphate. she is a terrorist. she may not a citizen. but you have to ask yourself, how did she she get there? what was the process of getting through turkey? she know the faces and names of. >> of the people getting through the border. she can probably let us in on some of the tactics isis uses. if we are going to defeat this radical muslim ideology.
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we need muslims. people who have had the experience going there. and living under sharia law. some of them do get elected to congress. but that's a different story all together. greg: doc, i would like to see her on her first job interview. your previous experience? i was an isis -- >> there is no doubt she was tear ride and traumatized. no doubt she needs trauma therapy. not as compensation or reason she is punished. but if she can be useful to the american government, that makes sense to me. i don't mean to send her right to the gallows. but she need to be punished. >> california is a sanctuary state.
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>> she is a dangerous person. turns out syria is not a good place. is it possible she could be a counter agent? >> we lost some of our three-letter agency bases because someone said let's bring this person in. some people believe it or not, terrorists are trying to come into the country through mexico. if she can pick some of them out. we don't set her free. but maybe she'll give a message the radical message is bad. >> the fact that she could help, not to mention that ugly story that world likes to paint about the americans to show that we know what the alternative is for her. we know that life over there is not where you want to be.
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even though she is bad and said terrible things about our country. we bring her in, she goes to jail. that's what you talked about. but it's hard to say i hate america when you say they did help that one woman. it's america, jack. if you come in, she need to die. are you going to pull the trigger? greg: i have a hard time believing because the ideology is so strong. i am not sure i believe in second chances. isis didn't start as a little fun group. it started with beheadings. and she was advocating the death of innocent people. you know once she gets famous she'll have an entourage and people will want to date her and
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she'll end up on tmz. kat: i can't be mad. this is a feel good story for me. i may have dated a lot of losers. but i never dated one guy in isis. tyrus: way to go, kat. kat: all these guys with no jobs don't seem so bad when they are compared to guys who work at isis. and she wants to come back. no [bleep] [bleep] isis. you ever hear them say isis is bad? that's why people say that. it's not like she stole candy. she is a terrorist. greg: even though she may not have killed anybody. by being there she probably did some occupation that allowed the freedom for somebody else to do the killing. i'll prepare dinner while you
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behead. she is an accessory to one of the worst crimes of my lifetime. this is as close you get to nazi germany, what isis did. this is one area where i can't even say what i think. france invented a new sport. so you know it's going to suck. incomparable design makes it beautiful. state of the art technology makes it brilliant. the visionary lexus nx. lease the 2019 nx 300 for $359 a month for 36 months. experience amazing at your lexus dealer. on average, we'll live move more in eleven homes. in the world.
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greg: if fencing has you bored, pick up a light saber. the organization like the u.s. border patrol hopes to renew it in fencing. the technology hasn't quite caught up with the movie. so we'll have to make due with almost e.d. tubes. d with l.e.d. tubes. it beats the heck out of this. tyrus, what are your thoughts?
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tyrus: i love it. fencing is cool. i would the mind seeing light sabres at the olympics. gregolympics.gregg greg: , kat, you are a big fan of fencing. kat: now all these "star wars" super fans will finally have a reason to come out of of their mom's basement. but i'm afraid of all the chi to dust that will get on the equipment. because these people do not eat anything that doesn't come out of a vending machine. i have never seen scar wars. i'm far too cool. greg: why are you doing this? you just reignited a hate club
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that will come after you. tyrus: nerd and nerd crimes. >> i think it's good the forensic are using weapons that aren't real ones. tyrus: paid for by kat. greg: i invented a sport called gregg ball. that's where i have a ball and you pay me $100 and i give it to you. it's also stick ball and racket ball. but the across the is the stick. gutfeld live continues next week in florida. go to ggutfeld.com.
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greg: dr. drew, fine thoughts? >> go to my website and check out my podcast and new book. greg: rob? >> check out yourgratefulnation.org. when you see a veteran at the airport, pick up his meal and buy him a beer. greg: if you see me, i am not a veteran, but i do fight for this country. some say i am kind after bigger hero than you. he's going to kill me, it doesn't matter. thanks to dr. drew pinsky.
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and rob. i love, america. [♪] jesse: welcome to. "watters' world." i'm jesse watters. in honor of the academy award our producers thought it would be fun to host our own awards show. let's begin with our first category. best actor in a political drama. here are the nominees. cory booker at the kavanaugh confirmation hearing. >> i'm going to release the email on racial profiling. i understand the penalty comes with potential out offing from the senate. i

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