gutfield is coming up and i'll see you next saturday night. >> you probably remember the basics about the mystery case and why it is so mysterous, but also, still, slowedded in mystery so this is important now when it comes to the mystery case, right? >> so now she's even mocking herself. >> [laughter] >> [cheers and applause] >> well it was either a bad week for joe biden, or kind of a bad week for joe biden. here he is discussing the recent

controversy about his hands. >> [laughter] got to admit he is adorable when he's excited but let's get to the part where he talks about his problem. >> just as support and encouragement that i've made to women and some men and i've made them uncomfortable and i never thought of politics as cold and i'm always talking about connect ing with people and as i said shaking hands, hands-on the shoulder, a hug, an idea that i can adjust to the fact that personal space is more important than its ever been is just not think about. >> now if this would have been better if he was wearing sat in pajamas, and maybe smoking a pipe. >> [laughter] >> but there you go he admits it but he doesn't apologize. he just refers to the changing

times. >> social norms begin to change and they're shifted and the boundaries of protecting personal space have been reset and i get it. i get it. >> he gets it. >> [laughter] >> see, joe seems to remember a special time or a special place when it was okay to sniff hair and touch noses with strangers you just met. i think we have a name for it. the dog park. >> [laughter] >> [applause] >> so that gives me a possible solution for joe in this era of self-identification. if everyone these days can choose their biology, their race , their gender why not choose your species if people can identify as a different race why can't joe identify as a dog? right?

>> [laughter] >> bill clinton did for most of his life. and there are those who have already blazed a trail for joe, like this. for a simpler life what man has transformed himself into a goat. he lives as a goat, but why would anyone go to such lengths to be a goat? i suppose it was because it would be fairly difficult, depressive and just stressful being a human being. >> so be a goat. be a goat he's not alone there's a whole group of people who now identify as other beings. >> you don't see that on special report. >> [laughter] >> or do you? so there is your solution. joe, you're a golden retriever.

>> [laughter] >> so it's not all bad for the guy because even though there were seven accusers the accusations weren't about anything sexual. it was just weird, personal space stuff and joe's already joking about it. >> he gave me permission to touch him. >> [applause] >> [laughter] oh, man why does every kid he hugs look like a hostage? >> [laughter] >> and if you look at the faces of those he hugs they appear to be the opposite of comfortable. they look like they're getting a wet willie from a banana slug, but maybe that's what the country needs, right donny? >> it's a weird irony to this thing about him hugging people and once again obviously we're not talking about people's space but the essence of what's behind you know him personally, is the genuineness of what a hug is and let's not lose sight of we all this country needs that right now. not invasion of space but a

heart-felt hug. >> so the country needs an old creepy guy to give it a hug from behind. >> [laughter] >> all right, donny. the creepiness is contagious but many, joe, truly appreciates the human form or maybe he assumes they appreciate his human form because it could be ego. he's making them feel special by feeling them in a special way, but like joe's hands at least this issue is out in the open and you know that it's open out in the open when trump retweets this meme. >> i shake hands i hug people, and i grab men and women by the shoulders and say that you can do this, and it's the way that i've always been and the way i've tried to show that i care. >> okay the best part of this is the hysterical self-riotous press rushing to tell us idiots that this video, it was doctored it's not real. >> this president is always

looking for a detour down into the dirt, and today, he was taunting the vice president on twitter with a message, welcome back, joe, and a doctored video pinned to his feed that has special effects to make the former vp look like a predator. >> so wait wait wait you're telling me it's doctored? >> [laughter] >> i never would have known. you mean, when joe biden snuck up behind the other joe biden to give him a back rub? that's not real? you mean, there aren't two joe bidens? >> [laughter] >> thanks, media. i anxiously await cuomo and friends when they tell us that this is a doctored photo too. >> [laughter] >> or this one. >> [laughter] >> and this one. >> by the way that is not doctored. anyway, biden hit back on twitter, so now we have two guys

in their 70s in a twitter battle , life is good, if that's your headline. and what is nancy's solution for joe's creepy rubs? >> just pretend you have a cold and i have a cold. >> [laughter] makes sense. but imagine republicans telling a young woman next time someone tries to grab you just tell them that you have the flu. also say you should wear a longer skirt and a head scarf. it's kind of weird it's on you to fake an illness to escape the weirdness but it got us thinking maybe there's a way to stop that guy always trying to invade your personal space at work. always trying to give you a back rub in and there must be some kind of product for that. >> profits for the first quarter of 2019 have never been higher, costs are down, customer satisfaction is through the roof , and it's all because of the people that they are so proud of you. >> do you know someone at work

who often gets a little too touchy feely? it's not sexual but not exactly appropriate either. you're uncomfortable and have thought about saying something but you really like the dude so you say nothing. well now you don't have to introducing the ultimate touchy feely preventer, the highly advanced technology contained in the ultimately touchy feely preventer spikes guaranteed the friendly its will struggle to make contact with your body plus they're super comfortable so you never have to be uncomfortable again and if you act now we'll throw in our all new anti-hair sniffing helmet totally free. available at kmart. >> [applause] >> let's welcome tonight's guest. he could have been big but instead he was rich. singer and songwriter john rich. >> [applause] >> he's handled more rolls than a baker on meth, and then actor

nick. she's got more tasks than a tuba has brass. >> [applause] >> and he's both big and rich former wwe super star, massive psychic, host of fox nation. >> [applause] >> all right, john, is all of this stuff helping him or hurting him? >> well first of all i don't get to do your show very often but you invite me on hair sniffing week so of all of the weeks. it could help him because, i mean, as kind of a songwriter guy, i thought wow what a great slogan and phrase this could be for his presidential run. joe biden, really in touch with the american people. >> [laughter] it could work for him. >> that is a great t-shirt for him. you should actually send that to him. >> maybe i will. >> you might save his campaign,

so nick, who did this? i mean, everybody, he blamed the right wing trolls. well no we don't care. >> no. >> we don't care. we probably wouldn't want to run against biden or maybe we won't. this has the fingerprints of who >> well biden has been famous for this for years. he's been swimming naked in front of his female secret service agents for years. the only reason it's happening now is because the democrats are trying to take him out. >> right. >> but the best thing about it is the jokes. i mean there's a hashtag on twitter, biden a song, it's just the best. you can't get enough of it. he stopped sniffing hair today. >> [laughter] >> oh, wow. >> you can't, you know? >> i hate myself for rubbing you. >> [laughter] >> you can't stop. >> kat, do you have any songs? >> no, no songs i have thoughts my first thought when i saw this happen was if any creepy old man ever tried to sniff my hair, the

joke would be on them because almost none of it is my hair. >> interesting. >> where does your hair come from? >> from this store which is what i was going to recommend this is one of those situations where no one is really super right like making women uncomfortable, never good. at the same time we can't, we shouldn't cancel some old guy, because he likes sniffing hair too much so what he should do is do what i do and just buy the stranger's hair at the store. >> exactly. >> because that way, when he finds himself about ready to sniff the strange hair that is still attached to the stranger, he can just go into his pocket, he's already got some stranger's hair right there and take a sniff i've got store recommendations he can buy many many tracks if he wants to and just carry with him everywhere he goes that's, i'm sorry i just gave the democrats hell on fox news. >> she's got a slogan and a place to sniff hair.

can i play you sound on tape of joe talking about what might happen next and get your comments? >> sure let's do that. >> do you expect a lot more people? >> well i wouldn't be surprised when i've had hundreds and hundreds of people contact me, and i don't know, and say the exact opposite. i'm sorry, i didn't understand more. i'm not sorry for any of my intentions. i'm not sorry for anything that i've ever done. i've never been disrespectful, intentionally. >> intentionally. unintentionally how about all over the place. >> you've got a serial touchist >> exactly. >> do you know what? i love the fact that he made a joke. i didn't love the fact that there was kids on the stage when he made the joke but if you make a joke about being creepy please don't have children present. >> there goes my career. >> oh, yeah, but the part about this whole thing and he touched about it is democratic parties

they couldn't open an umbrella together if they tried. they just don't get it. joe biden being in the race is a good thing for you guys for the so-called narrative new and improved democrat you want running. if they can beat him in the primaries. >> yeah. >> they beat a battle-tested vice president and maybe, maybe, they would have a chance against the monster that is trump, because if you told president trump oh, he's touching people, he would like a hand and while they're telling him they would do this while talking. >> [laughter] >> so think about who you're going up against. >> it's a good point. but good reminder for not doing the democratic thing and stepping out. >> but the only thing is two weeks ago didn't he apologize for the white male heritage or something like that so he is still apologizing just not very bright. i think it's safe to say. >> i think he's mad and i think he has a team of, people advising him you'll have to apologize. instead of saying what he wants

to say is so i touched a few pemex ex so i loved a little too much am i wrong? >> yes. yes, joe you are. >> [laughter] >> if hugging people is wrong, i don't want to be right. >> that's another slogan. >> we're helping him. >> i have a songwriter's gift. he gave me a hat as a gift. >> it's rubbing off on you oops can't say rubbing off. >> nope. >> all right the gutfield monologues live is back here is the upcoming schedule may 4 tulsa, oklahoma may 5 dallas and may 6 midland, texas special guest, go to ggutfield.com for ticket information. up next chicago wants their money back, jussie says no way this story never gets worse, only better. >> [applause]

>> they say he staged the attack and they want their money back. chicago, the city, not the band, will sue jussie smollett, to get back the cost of investigation that allege ed attack. i don't know what i just said. they say the attack never happened. jussie was suddenly cleared of the charges by the prosecutor's office and the city gave them until thursday to pay 130 grand

in reimbursement costs and he didn't pay so the city wants to file a civil suit and his attorney says his client will be intimidated into paying meanwhile chicago police are calling for city prosecutor kim fox to resign. >> the problem is she's not listening to the law enforcement officials she's making decisions about policies and about public policy, without consulting the law enforcement, and in this county. >> charming man. kim fox says she's not going anywhere, so all sides are dug in no one is giving an inch which means we'll have something to talk about all summer, and i have to go to you, nick, because you're in hollywood. >> yes. >> you are. does anybody there, like off the record when they're not like being chased by tmz, actually believe anything from jussie smollett? >> no. i don't think so and my friends and i we're beginning to think that it's a more elaborate hoax

than just jussie. like everybody is in it, the mayor everybody like some hoax and that pretty soon, jussie is going to unzip the suit and andy coffman was alive the whole time it's a complete setup, because its gotten so ridiculous and it keeps snowballing and ram emmanuel is trying to look good and i think the whole thing is completely setup from every party. >> jussie unzips it and it's bb cooper >> so many mysteries. >> so many mysteries. >> [laughter] i'm joking here, okay, so let's say that you're jussie smollett 's agent and you haven't

resigned yet so what path would you tell him to take? >> pay him! get on with it. but you caused this. you're not being, do you see that? that's exactly it you make 126,000 an episode so you work for a day and 15 minutes for free. pay it so this can go away. you did this, like this isn't, he was not cleared of these charges, they made a deal and they sealed it. he got a little help on the inside and then he came out and gave that ridiculous speech i wouldn't be my mommas son if i was a blah blah. pay! you want the u back, you better pay that fine and move on. >> [laughter] >> that's a costly you, or yeah , u, or e. i don't know, cat. what would you say are the odds of him paying? >> he's not going to for a

reason which look, i actually found myself being a little jealous of him. >> really? >> in this situation, yes, hear me out hear me out. >> we're listening. >> because everyone in the world knows that he's lying, and yet he's not paying, because he still thinks this is going to turn out fine. if i just keep telling everyone i didn't do it then everyone is going to have my back. i mean, he has the world crumbling around him in a giant storm and he is still in the middle of it like i'm a star and it's all going to be fine. i would love to have that kind of self-confidence, greg. >> you're sounding like one of your old relationships. this is one of your old relationships isn't it? the dude is crumbling around all around you everyone is like cat leave him and you're like no he's a star. it's okay. >> it's kind of like how i leave my fake eyelashes on for days after we film because i feel like i get eye lash dismore any a? we wait until every little last lash has fallen off that is how

i also approach a relationship. >> so this is a relationship story? >> well it could be but you can lie to yourself if that's what you mean but i, i tend to see the worst in situations not better. >> i am a little grossed out by the decaying eyelashes. >> yeah, did you say you have rotting eyelashes? >> they're synthetic. scientists made them. >> thank god for that, john, okay here is a question. i can't believe i'm going to defend jussie smollett on this, but my problem with civil suits is that you can punish somebody after they've been found not guilty which is what happened with oj, and i love that like they're punishing oj, because they killed those two people even though he got up i'm just wondering that can happen to anybody right? >> i honestly think he's probably got this master plan where the longer he carries this out he's setting up for the jussie smollett movie, more more

money than he would have seen on that show, there's this big pay off coming down the road and i'm also extremely shocked there's any corruption in chicago politics. that's what shocks me the most greg i'm blown away by that. >> i don't think i could look at the city the same again. but the great thing is he plays himself in the movie. it's sick. >> it's called a bad guy movie. >> this guy is playing chess, man he's moving into the big deal with this thing. >> and hi will be rewarded for it i bet you by the end of it he will be a bigger star and get work because of it. >> i think you should say this was entire performance art. it's a long play like you said. it's the entire, because there's no other way out. he's like the guy at the end of fargo where he's crawling out the window and the guy is pulling him back in in his under pants i don't know why i remember that. >> [laughter] >> up next, trump, the border, and avocados, which is a berry, by the way. >> [applause] (client's voice) remember that degree you got in taxation?

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show. ♪ ♪ greg: the border closing is near. give or take a year. president trump adjusted his threat to close large sections of the border giving mexico a one-year warning. but first, i wonder, do we love mexico? >> we love mexico, we love the country of mexico. we have two problems. we have the fact that they allow people to pour into our country,

and the other problem is drugs. massive amounts of, large -- most of the drugs, much of the drugs coming into our country come through the southern border. greg: so trump wants mexico to stop the drugs and stop the caravans or he'll put tariffs on cars, and if that didn't work, he'll close the border. and he will do it. >> and i will do it, just like -- [laughter] i don't play games. greg: i don't play games. so why did trump go from we're going to close the border to maybe in a year? one here to arely -- theory? avocados. prices spiked on word that a border shutdown was imminent. people love their avocados. do you have any idea what life would be like in a world without avocados? ♪ ♪ >> imagine a world where everything you love gets taken from you in an instant. imagine a world without

avocados. first, without avocados, avocado toast is nowhere to be found around the country. out of rage, all women named rachel start violently kicking the crap out of women named britney. [laughter] the problem? everyone who consumes it gets a 72-hour case of the most explosive diarrhea. with the public distracted, maroon five, coldplay and radiohead release the worst album of all time. north korea interprets the album as a sign of aggression and immediately launches the nuclear arsenal against the rest of the world. america and its allies retaliate, and the age of thermonuclear war begins. earth is left in a. >> ruled of chaos and -- shroud of chaos and despair, all because trump cut off your access to avocados. this message brought to you by

big avocado. [cheers and applause] greg: i'd like to welcome our new sponsor, big avocado. >> yes. greg: yeah. they're going to -- and, kat, you wore the avocado dress. >> on purpose. >> way to step up, kat, nice job. greg: it's kind of sad that a major source of concern for the media are the avocados. >> a lot about this is sad, yeah. that is sad. my views on the wall have nothing to do with avocados, i'll just say that. greg: okay, that's good. >> i don't -- and i don't like talking about the wall on this show, obviously, because i disagree with everybody about the wall. and then i have some old grandpa tweet at me, like, your boobs are small. which i -- [laughter] which i really appreciate, because if you didn't tell me, how would i know? greg: is it all grandpas? >> it's always grandpas, and you look at their profile, it's like loving husband, grandpa, and they're always holding a picture

of a baby. can someone check on that baby? [laughter] the free exchange of nonviolent people across borders, but they don't get free stuff either. greg: that's the eternal conflict. you have to make sure the container for the free stuff is a container, because if you have an influx of people and free stuff, then the country goes to pieces. i have a theory, tyrus. >> tyrus, nice to meet you. [laughter] greg: i am on so many medications right now -- >> yeah, okay. i know he is. he gave me a compliment at the beginning of the show. he said i was rich. [laughter] greg: this is the eternal struggle between the adult and the child. all that trump's talking about are these long-term solutions to these problems that keep coming back. like, you know, or crisis, no crisis. but he's saying long term we've got to fix this. that's an adult kind of mean parent answer, and everybody else is like, ooh, like children. >> you know, i'm not really sure what the question was in there,

but i'm going to try it anyway. [laughter] this has a lot to do with the mueller report. i think the pressure of that is over, and he's able to get back to being -- greg: interesting. >> -- a president. and he gets upset, and he a makes -- i will close the border tomorrow. greg: yeah. >> excuse me, mr. president, you can't do that, not a good idea. greg: yeah. >> we'll give you a year. [laughter] because he's listening to advisers. greg: yeah. >> he's being the adult in the room where he says an idea and then, really, if we gave them a year, maybe give tariffs, these are good presidential decisions. and on the five yesterday when you were out sick, he was on the border, and he was doing a little speech, and he handed it over to a woman named gloria, and she laid -- i mean, she just laid it out. she's in the trenches, she's explaining all this stuff with ill gration, and i was like, damn -- immigration. one smiled and agreed with her. i wanted it in slow motion,

because people respect feet on the ground, facts and the adult in the room. and the reason why they're pushing avocados is because mainstream media's still a bunch of bitch ass babies, they just don't want to let it go. greg: bitch ass babies. >> hey, dot.com. [laughter] >> that's a duet. greg: you know what i love about this story? it's that aspare gas comes from mexico, but nobody gives a damn -- [laughter] because they're so freaking gross. >> i love as par gas. asparagus. >> little bit. greg: the asparagus tastes funny. >> you can't makes a par if gus toast. greg: it's all stalk. no fun. >> hey, listen -- [laughter] no avocados coming across the border in exchange for no fentanyl, i make that swap any day, anytime, you know? [cheers and applause]

make a decision. greg: what do you think, nick? >> i've got an avocado tree in my backyard, so i don't care. [laughter] but i did want to see if he could close the border like that. i thought we'd been arguing about that for two years now. he can just do it like that? greg: i think the entire border crossings would shut down, the legal -- >> port of entry, yeah. >> i don't think it would be a bad idea. greg: i did. i'm a somebody. somebody who hates asparagus. up next, another day, another person in a maga hat getting grief. stick around. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ greg: another spat over a bright red hat. like many things in life that happened in a starbucks in palo alto, california, according to

vic -- the hat wearer -- this happened. >> this woman came over and just started not only screaming at me, she turned to the starbucks audience and said, hey, everybody, come here. this guy's a racist. greg: turns out the woman also went on facebook and wrote about the incident too saying she called the whole starbucks to yell at the man in the hat about hating brown people and that she was sad because she was the only one who did. then the backlash came against her. people started calling her place of work, a music store. the store fired her because bullying someone you disagree with isn't their thing. >> we've always felt that griffin was the equivalent of kind of a musical town square for the community, and we welcome people of all views. greg: that's my kind of place. right, jeff? ♪ we're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wiz a ard of oz.

[laughter] greg: did everybody or else see what i just saw? because i am on medications. [laughter] all right. i'm going to go to tyrus, because you are wearing a hat. aside from john, but you're wearing a new hat. >> i like hats. greg: i'm not wearing hats, because why would you cover this? [laughter] >> yeah. sometimes you just gotta own it. [laughter] greg: so this person basically tried to destroy this other guy, this guy's life, tried to galvanize a mob, and she was disturbed she couldn't, and then she goes to social media to create another mob, and she vows to destroy him. i think she should have been fired. >> yeah, i think they made the right choice there. she's obviously not good at decision making. like, hey, let's get 'em, guys. hey, guys? seriously? of. [laughter] you know what? i struggle with the maga hat a lot because, unfortunately,

there's a small group who do wear it for those reasons. but if i see somebody wearing a maga hat, i'm usually focused on my own day, and unless they've got a torch and a pitchfork, but an old man who feels the hat says make america great again, i don't have an issue with that. the image of the hat does need to be cleaned up a little bit. at some point maybe mr. president said if you wear this hat because you've got hate, it's not for you. this is about america, bringing us together, that would change things. but there's this wonderful thing. if you have a question, you see that old man and judgementing by his interview, he looks like he can talk a little bit, why do you wear that a hat, sir? because we need to get all the brown people out of here, then let's get 'em, guys, and everybody goes with him. [laughter] >> that's right. greg: yeah. ask first. >> investigate! greg: ask first, then mob. >> lynch mob, investigator. two things that never went

together. greg: nick, i think that a lot of this is due to the media. i don't think the hat -- the media was incredibly successful in turning that hat into a symbol. that was -- first, it was a positive symbol -- exactly. greg: make america great, how can -- but then the media attached it to these other things, and now you can't get it out of there. >> and that's what gave this woman the idea that she had the right to speak this way to this man because it's been tarred as a racist symbol, and that everybody who wears the hat is some kind of a racist. and that's not true. but she, and, you know, in her way, her self-righteous way, she thinks is she has the right to treat people that way. and i think the maga hat now stands for make [bleep] get fire again. ♪ [applause] greg: john, what is it about -- we're seeing this a lot -- just people kind of regressing into

an infantile state. like, if that was your parent, you would be ashamed if your parent did that. your parent tells you not to do that. >> yeah. i mean, starbucks is owned by who? >> howard schultz -- >> and he's running for -- gregg: yeah, president. >> possibly. and i'd like to see him make a definitive statement one way or the other how you're supposed to treat people in your store. this is in his coffee shop, i'd like to hear what he has to say about it. gregg: but the girl didn't work this, right? >> she worked in a record store. again, two places -- [inaudible conversations] >> record stores and coffee shops are not where you enlist people for a lynch mob. [laughter] you've got to go to the gym, you know what i'm saying? or a bar. you don't go into a record store and say, guys, let's get somebody. , no it's going to scratch my elbow. greg: i can just like anybody who says let's get 'em. even if i find somebody i don't like, i'm not into the mob thing.

>> right. well, it's interesting because being a 30-year-old woman, i've seen a lot of hats. greg: five years ago. >> i've seen a lot of hats. i'm exactly 30. that's what's known at age shaming which affects women more than men. [laughter] >> let's get him. >> let's get him. [laughter] [applause] >> but i could never imagine not liking a hat so much that i actually say a something about it, and i have seen dudes walking around in those fbi, female body inspector hats. [laughter] so if i can see a dude walking around in one of those hats, she can calm down. this is america. we let all adults dress themselves, like even carrot top can dress himself. and if shement wants to dress someone else, she should just, like, have a baby like a normal person. that's why people have baby withs, i don't know. is that why you had kids? >> i like clothing power. greg: clothing power. i hate crocs, i hate leggings --

>> leggings are pants. greg: no, they're not. >> yes, they are pants. tbrg tbrg this is a preview of an hour special we're doing on fox -- >> brit hume's on that. greg: underwear or pants? >> pants. greg: underwear. >> pants! greg: underwear. look, i don't need to see everybody part of somebody's body when i'm at the airport. >> you don't need to look at everybody's body when you're at the airport! >> oh, no, kat, that's size shaming, he has no choice! he's standing there and somebody walks by in leggings, that's all in his face. i'm sorry, it's not his fault. [laughter] [applause] greg: up next, why are americans having less sex? i these folks, they don't have time to go to the post office they have businesses to grow customers to care for lives to get home to they use stamps.com print discounted postage for any letter any package any time right from your computer

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♪ greg: we're taking a vacation from copulation. a new survey finds that nearly one in four adults haven'ted had sex in the past year. that's more than any year since 1989, the same year phil collins was at the top of the charts. ♪ no one ever got busy with phil playing in the background. [laughter] but now a large portion of the sexless are 20-something men. in the last decade, the share of dudes under 30 reporting no sex has nearly tripled. for women, not so much.

one expert says not only could it be because young people are likely to live at home -- let's take a look at what i was doing in my 20s. i'm greg gutfeld. all right. any theories on this, kat? >> my dad watches this show. i do not want to talk about sex! my grandma also watches this show and my grandpa. i would like to talk about literally anything else including that one time when i had say bees and fleas in the same day. [laughter] my mom told me to never tell anybody that because she said it was gross. greg: john? >> i think she told you.

greg, it takes confidence to have sex with someone else. it takes confidence to be able to talk to someone to the point, get to know them to the point, hopefully, that they like you enough where maybe that might happen. so if you're sitting around worried about how many people are following you on twitter or what level you're at on fortnite and maybe you didn't hit the level you wanted, your confidence is down, you're not going to go out and talk to anybody. i agree tech is wrecking people right now. they're not going out and talking anymore. i don't think they know how to communicate. greg: no, it's true. they've replaced foreplay with fortnite. laugh all right, nick -- >> not only does it take confidence to talk somebody into sex, it really takes a lot of work, and it can be really a annoying. [laughter] it can really get on your nerves. leslie and i have been married for 33 years, and it's still a real struggle. [laughter] she's just like, huh-uh. but what happens under 30, you

know, it's completely out of my dem graphic, but i just want to say to all those guys out there that are under 30, it gets better. greg: that's a great psa. all right, tyrus, close it up for us. >> i'm concerned. [laughter] >> as you know, i like to reproduce. we've talked about that. in my to 20s it was so quick, i didn't even meet people. we had nothing else to do. it's cheap, it's free. everybody usually has fun. i think it's sad, fellas. if you say just a minute, dear, i'm not finished with my game yet, you have a [bleep] problem. [laughter] [applause] greg: that's true. >> agreed. greg: cannot dispute that. >> just a minute, i'm binge watching netflix. bro, your just a minute is some new dude's half hour. [laughter] [applause] >> that's right. >> i think we should go back to scabies. greg: how did we end up --

>> much less disgusting. greg: maybe you were right. >> why is sex disgusting? my parents don't watch -- >> i have no idea, because i'm not entirely sure what it is. [laughter] greg: i know what it is. >> happy push-ups. greg: it's happy push-ups. >> it starts with hair snipping, i know that. greg: all right. final thoughts up next. [cheers and applause]

>> final thoughts. it's the last thought. that's why it's called the final thoughts, okay? greg: don't have much time. john, thoughts? >> thanks for having me on my show. i'm really proud of my granmy rich, everybody knows about redneck riviera whiskey. ing redneck riviera.com. we support these guys, the folds of honor, so i'm proud to have that out. greg: excellent. [applause] nick? >> yes, the best of enemies

opens this weekend, please go see it. sam rockwell and taraji p. muck. jon: president trump gives a wide-ranging speech to the republican jewish coalition in las vegas, touching on foreign policy, the economy and his efforts to stop illegal immigration. good evening, i'm jon scott, this is "the fox report." ♪ ♪ jon: the president says his threat to immediately close the southern border has paid off by prompting mexico to detain more asylum seekers before they make it to the u.s. he also slammed the entire immigration system. >> the asylum program is a scam. you look at this guy, you say, wow, that's a tough cookie. [laughter] i am very fearful for my life. [laughter] i am