be back next week in her usual spot. thank you for watching. greg gutfeld is next. . >> the correct title of the song the first word of the song whoomp whoomp did you know, that? may be oops? but there it is. that is about to be the theme of the trump white house. there it is because they blew ip

there it is. >> there goes msnbc. [applause] it's official bernie sanders is working for the republican part party. >> people with felony records should be allowed to vote while in prison so does that mean you would support and franchising people like the boston marathon bomber a convicted terrorist and murderer quick. >> somebody commits a serious crime sexual assault or murder, they will be punished. the right to vote is inherent to our democracy. yes even for terrible people. greg: even for terrible people.

but that makes no sense. you think a guy in jail for murder cannot have his rights taken away? what is it about being in jail that you are missing? he is in jail. he cannot go outside. the toilet have no seats. [laughter] not voting is the least of his concerns. but i guess bernie was the guy on death row to vote he can pull one lever before we pull the other. [laughter] [applause] terrible. is tailored for the rnc ad. >> shooting and throwing pipe bombs in one pressure cooker bomb at them. . >> you think the boston marathon bomber should vote not after he faces his debt to society but while he is in jail? . >> do you believe in

democracy? greg: paid for by bernie sanders. what a great issue to make sure the boston bomber can vote. checking weapons down a well did not focus is high in focus groups. is he colluding with trump or thanks to the activist media thinking america is just as nuts at him. know we are not. even share is against this which means it is time. [laughter] i will have you know, that cost over $100,000 teefive tweeted even this idea is too crazy for her and she dated gene simmons. [laughter] and michael bolton. not john bolton. but bernie will still not let go. >> i said the right to vote is

essential if you are a citizen you have the right to vote. that is a right we must protect because we know the history of this country. we know women did not have the right to vote. we know african-americans did not have the right to vote. greg: so criminals are like women and blacks? [laughter] [applause] i would say he's digging his own grave bed is digging the whole cemetery. let the boston bomber vote. . >> let the boston bomber vote? i don't think so. let terrorist in prison vote? i don't think so. greg: i don't think so. the party is on a leftward downward spiral and how left

can the party go? . >> college is very important and should be free. >> not just free but mandatory. don't go to college you can go to prison. >> in prison you can still vote only if a murderer or terrorist. >> raise the minimum wage to $40 an hour. one hundred dollars an hour. >> $1000 an hour. >> if you are in prison the only terrorist inverters we can balance the supreme court with more terrorists and murderers. . >> electoral college needs to go. one person one vote. >> one person ten votes. a cat gets five votes. >> serial killers? great question kill ten people get ten votes. . >> the rich don't pay enough in taxes. they must pay more. >> we need a death tax if you

die we tax you. with my plan we tax you after you die with my plan we tax you after you die terrible personality taxes? taxes on ugly babies. taxes for those who stood you up at the prom. sanctuary cities. >> sanctuary houses. >> your house. >> sanctuary hot tubs. >> i have a right to be in your hot tub. >> i am running for president. >> i'm running for president. >> i just broke out of maximum-security prison i'm certifiably insane and i'm running for president. . >> paid for by the really, really really left party. [applause] greg: meanwhile sleepy joe finally woke up and boy is he woke. >> we are in the battle of the

soulless nation history will look back in four years of this president and embrace it as an aberrant moment in time. but if we give donald trump eight years in the white house he will forever fundamentally alter the character of the station and who we are and i cannot stand by to watch that happen to climb announcing my candidacy for president of the united states. greg: i dozed off. [laughter] he says trump is worse than war and terror and disease and asparagus soup? i don't think he believes that. i'm not sure what he believes. he has been around forever and has no defining political achievements. like a tv character in a show that is always there and you don't know why mike janet from friends. screech. daphne from scooby doo.

[bleep] velma solves all the crime. he is like your appendix he is there all the time but you don't know about it until it burst. what is his message? hey i am still here. but i guess i feel like a young man. >> i'm so young. and the youngest person a young vibrant man. i look at joe i don't know about him. [laughter] [applause] it's not wrong. it cannot be good if michael bends over backwards to endorse you but barack obama doesn't a popular two-term president says no but the sleazy grifter ever says yes.

that is like a head cheerleader turning you down for the prom but the 400-pound janitor with a spider web tattoo says yes so who should the vp be? he is old and slow and not that bright so to balance the ticket he needs someone who was conscious. [laughter] so watch america returned to the good old days of before trump but wasn't that good if they needed such a change in ancient like trump with policy and jobs because back then if you want to go back he will be going alone. [cheers and applause] . >> he's so funny making milk

comes out of a cow's nose. [applause] she is the loudest thing of the mustang host of the podcast. [applause] former wwe e-superstar tyrus this will be the greatest election ever not only all these candidates but trump as america's heckler. [laughter] . >> you watch what joe biden has to say. did you watch it? that's a beautiful place for him to be. >> even "the new york times" said rambling and stumbling it was i'm sorry but i'm not sorry. i have been the guy that has

been around this whole time. but the thing about bernie when he said that line about the boston bomber the whole crowd cheered. he is speaking to a base who believes what he has to say he is running to win the primary field he will deal with trump later on but he says what he believes. >> he is the opposite of biden he knows what he believes biden is just happy to play a politician on tv. [laughter] . >> first of all, democrats way to frame the issue. good choice to defend the boston bomber that's like if they say is literacy important what about the unit bomber? the only one i care about is the last meal i'm not interested in anything else. [applause]

. >> and if you wanted to be vega vegan. >> we need to have a conversation when you are in jail for a felony you don't get to vote when you are out if you paid your debt you can consider it. is not a difficult question but the democrats are looking for the most far left position you can take to signal your virtue and they will pay the price because trump can have a whole primary of them and he will shred them. >> my favorite is when they asked kamala harris that question and she said we can have a conversation like yes i think that's what that guy was trying to do by asking the question. [laughter] i think that is what he was going for. if i would've been that moderator i would have said are you busy now?

[laughter] because we were told you had a lot of time to answer questions. now works for me. have an opinion you are running for president you cannot say i don't know anymore. >> she has all the time to know that she owns a gun and as a prosecutor. greg: take it away. >> i actually felt bad for the first time in my life for old white guys. [laughter] that was a term a bunch of old white guys walking in here running for president can you believe that? wow. i thought the whole point was to have an even playing field the best man or woman? no. no white people we are laughing but that is kind of true they are upset the poll numbers are leaning toward the old white guy which is disgusting apparently.

fun for me to watch never have i ever thought i would be sitting on tv during my friends complaining about other white people too many damn white people running for president. [laughter] but we made it. we are there. that in cory booker probably the most spineless person i ever met in my life. he will agree to whatever the left tells him will a woman be a vice president? absolutely she's actually parking the car. she's on her way in she's right here. he is so afraid of the left monster it is enjoyable tv. greg: it will be a great two years. time is running out to get your tickets for the gut felled monologue in tulsa oklahoma and midland texas go for ticket information.

is twitter the worst thing ever? new research says yes. [applause]

greg: we knew it was true twitter run by the few do you ever wonder how a super stupid topic starts to trend or one small thing is a scandal in minutes? or how the covington fiasco took off like wildfire to destroy a kid's life? a can study concludes a large majority comes from a small minority left wing angry tweeters from the pew research center 10 percent of the users unload 80 percent of all tweets most people on twitter don't tweet at all the average user only tweets two times a month with 25 followers while we live our lives in the real world a few people set the narrative on twitter that is usually negative and angry and small the story line that shapes the take to ruin careers overnight in my right?

[laughter] i have said this many times that twitter is not representative of real life. >> i don't know because it is my life. i don't even understand what life would be like without it. what do people do all day? had you know, who hates your glasses if you are not on twitter how to get in trouble with your employer who pays you for something you're not getting paid for? what you do when you buy in bed next to a loved one what do you do with your hands? [laughter] social media in general in college i was on facebook trying to stock my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend wasn't paying attention i accidentally made her name my status it was up for like 35 minutes.

but the real hero who went to afghanistan. >> but did you ever make your status someone's name? greg: every story from covington and on is made worse by twitter. >> it is the opposite of instagram instagram's locale great my life is. i like it better with a 140 character limit. greg: what bugs me is that this weird community on twitter rejects the real authentic communities no sympathy or sense of forgiveness or willingness to apologize. >> i don't have a joke about this story because this really bothered me and it scares me a

little bit because 10 percent of anything is nothing but our mainstream media feeds us the 10 percent to two convince us what is really going on in the united states. that is so dangerous. [applause] that reading this story it really bothered me. because they come off and portrayed this that everybody in this room feels that way and i am weird for not. that is what they try to do. this needs to be a disclaimer with every tweet also by the way the person this represents less than 10 percent if they that are tweeting the most is the president and greg gutfeld at least the two of you together. >> it doesn't help because our show is so hot.

[applause] like a house on the mountaintop with a clear signal just so you know, . >> i agree with your sidekick. >> would you like to meet side punch? . >> no. i would not. but the study is obvious i have a firm that points out things that you already know. people are angry you make a lot of money doing that. . >> where his alcohol consumption in the poll? greg: do you drink gin quick. >> that is dangerous. i know. [laughter] i don't like twitter but i still stay on it to make me feel engrossed.

>> anything that sparks outrage. >> sources say. to afterwards win the nobel prize if he deleted twitter. up next the democrats can't quit taking the impeachment drug next. i can't tell you who i am or what i witnessed, but i can tell you liberty mutual customized my car insurance so i only pay for what i need.

oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no... only pay for what you need. liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ every day, visionaries are creating the future. ♪ so, every day, we put our latest technology and unrivaled network to work. ♪ the united states postal service makes more e-commerce deliveries to homes than anyone else in the country. ♪ because the future only happens with people who really know how to deliver it.

thanks to priceline working with top airlines to turn their unsold seats into amazing deals,

family reunion attendance is up. we're all related! yeah, i see it. and because priceline offers great deals by comparing thousands of prices in real time, sports fans are seeing more away games. various: yeah-h-h! is that safe? oh, y... ahh! not at all. no, ma'am. nope. and more people than ever are enjoying romantic getaways. (romantic music) that's gross priceline. every trip is a big deal. they're america's bpursuing life-changing cures. in a country that fosters innovation here, they find breakthroughs... like a way to fight cancer by arming a patient's own t-cells... because it's not just about the next breakthrough... it's all the ones after that.

>> this is a fox news alert. a 19-year-old gunman opened fire on worshipers out of california synagogue killing 1% in june 3 others. the rabbi is among those injured and authorities say this may have been a hate crime. the suspect is in custody. he fled the scene after the shooting but called 911 to say that he was involved in gave out his location. just six month ago 11 people were gunned down at a pittsburgh synagogue. four people are dead and three others injured from a construction crab country club in seattle. they are dismantling the crane. two crane operators and two people inside cars were killed and none of the injuries are considered to be life-threatening. now back to the greg got culturalthe greg gutfeldshow

and believe congress should take the steps toward impeachment. accountability has to come from the congress. and the tools that we are given for the accountability is the impeachment process. greg: when the economy is strong and there are no big ugly wars what else is there. they're never going to win the white house when things are good. so why not impeachment.

the fact that it's impossible. but let's face it, impeachment talk is really just therapy because god knows these lefties needed. >> turns out even the redacted version of the ebola report is like a really good ragu. it is just better the second day. just like chinese takeout, it's good when you get it but after it sat overnight in the fridge chilling for a little while, the next day, tastier. corey write this down, fight off the tip of your finger and writing and blood. from here on out it's only about crimes. how is that for a reelection published a. four more years, former year in4 more years for that. [laughter]

i get it, sometimes joe, it is hard to gain how much we eat from inedible. i don't like when anyone gives you a cookie with warnings. greg: democrats devoted to this much energy. or maybe how much is coming up instead of winning one much you lost. [applause] >> i think the killer voting right is going to be the addition this time. the amount that they cannot accept, one of the problems in the left they sold a system that they think they're smarter than everyone and they think that, while regular people went out and voted and knew something into something that we don't like, they cannot think that is the world that we live in, the world must be wrong, and if you

want to think about her anything he can get the prudent to disrupt our democratic process, it is this nonsense. we had the election, too bad, deal with it and move on and stop shutting are democratic institution. [applause] greg: every time i hear the sound, it makes me think that being a politician i'm a senator of congress, whatever, it should not be a full-time job, if they have all this time to have these hearings, clearly they should have another job. >> well, i would like to actually bring that model over here to fox. [laughter] what you're hearing, play a game, i gotta get to the bottom what is going on. a lot of illegal traveling and i need to put a team together, my) to get to th the bottom of it.

impeachment only sealed his reelection. because as an american citizen, the last thing i want is my vote to be taken away from me. or my ability to choose. [applause] we have the mueller report, i have it at home, i have not printed it yet i'm getting there. you have a right as american citizen to look for the report and if you are offended or bothered by the outrageous angry things he said were his staff that he pay to keep them from hurting himself stopped him, if that is what you are uncomfortable with and you don't want to vote for him, by all means do not vote for him as president. it is your decision, the people will speak. if you don't want tromping, run a good campaign, maybe you will him. but they keep going with this

type of impeachment hearing after hearing, he spit on the sidewalk in 1976 in your get him for, you keep doing these things, what are they going to do when he gets the popular vote this time ? what will happen then. greg: it's like they don't want him, they don't want to run an actual election. >> they want to undo the last one of course. >> which member of your staff used to admit watching rachel maddow. [laughter]. greg: good question. you find the best stuff. isn't that incredible. >> i feel like president trump is almost inducing them to go for impeachment. he wants it, he knows they cannot resist it. it is the public obstruction with his treats, he is building

a case and he will not let them investigate. that is ultimately where it's going, they have nothing to run on other than hitting them. i was in new hampshire -- non- delaware, a couple mornings ago talking to voters and even democrats in delaware note joe biden say he's a good guy but why are we talking about mueller, i don't want to talk about mueller. they believe all that nonsense and they don't want to talk about those issues is time. greg: final thoughts on this cat? >> the democrats actually try to impeach trump anyway he would just become more popular like clinton in the 80s. and i do have an analogy. greg: excellent. [laughter] >> is one of those things that you want to make sure is going to work out in your favor for free trade. like going through your boyfriends phone to see if he is cheating on you. >> because if you do find racy messages or you find a list o lt of people he slept with why you are dating, which happens,

happen to me. [laughter] there were 17 of them greg. greg: really? >> yeah 17. and i wasn't even on it. >> that was out of respect. >> you defending him and if you find that dock, you come out on top and you take the person down. but if you don't you look like a jerk, pathetic, a loser, why did you go to my phone he's a victim. that is the same thing that would happen with trump. greg: that's a very good analogy. greg: what was the timeframe. >> one year. waiting find the time. greg: anyway we gotta talk about ufos, goodbye ufos weird things flying in the sky. [cheering] my skin... it was embarrassing. my joints... they hurt. the pain and swelling. the tenderness.

the psoriasis. i had to find something that worked on all of this. i found cosentyx. now, watch me. real people with active psoriatic arthritis are getting real relief with cosentyx. it's a different kind of targeted biologic. cosentyx treats more than just the joint pain of psoriatic arthritis. it even helps stop further joint damage. don't use if you're allergic to cosentyx. before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. an increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor about an infection or symptoms. if your inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen, or if you've had a vaccine or plan to. serious allergic reactions may occur. i got real relief. i got clearer skin and feel better. now, watch me. get real relief with cosentyx. it's kind of unfair that safe drivers have to pay as much for insurance... as not safe drivers! ah! that was a stunt driver. that's why esurance has this drivesense® app. the safer you drive,

the more you save. don't worry, i'm not using my phone and talking to a camera while driving... i'm being towed. by the way, i'm actually a safe driver. i'm just pretending to be a not safe driver. cool. bye dennis quaid! when insurance is affordable, it's surprisingly painless. 't easy. 12 hours? 20 dogs? where's your belly rubs? after a day of chasing dogs you shouldn't have to chase down payments. (vo) send invoices and accept payments to get paid twice as fast. (danny) it's time to get yours! (vo) quickbooks. backing you.

♪ ♪ book now and enjoy free unlimited open bar and more. norwegian cruise line. feel free.

can we talk? we used to play so beautifully together. now we can barely play anything... even cards with the girls. if you have bent fingers, and can't lay your hand flat, talk to your doctor. it may be dupuytren's contracture. your hand is talking. isn't it time you listened? there are nonsurgical options. take the first step. and learn more about dupuytren's. at factsonhand.com ♪ greg: the navy is drafting new guidelines for reporting ufos.

actually the navy is calling them you aps unexplained aerial phenomena. this is after a series of on that found its way into our airspace. the navy is suggesting these are aliens from another planet which is probably why they are calling them you a he is and not ufos. i am confused. they say these things should be explored not ignored. i have spotted many ufo with the hopes of having them identified by military experts. here's what i've observed. very loud, a deadly blade on its head. this is some kind of weapon, it always seems to follow children. [laughter] then there is this, this could be in slow moving, is always looking down on us, it is done for spying.

look at this, this alien seems to want to communicate with us and is operating a offering a de kind. in this, i was just a bird. >> thoughts on ufos. unidentified flying objects. so like anything in the area you don't know it's a ufo. rereading, never works. ihop, ihop, even with a giant be, rebranding never works, how much money is this costing us? greg: it's stationary now. they have to have all new ufo stationary. >> is something that doesn't exist. >> you don't know it doesn't exist. greg: the monogram towels that used to be ufo now at uap.

>> that's not the point of my story. he takes about those aliens. >> i don't want to rebrand ufos. the reason there ufos is where they have a change in name. greg: here is what i don't understand, we have an explosion of smartphones, and we haven't seen a corresponding explosion of ufo sightings. didn't have any phones. now that everyone has a camera with them all the time i thought we would seek to cast alien and bigfoot footage but is mostly fight the burger king. [laughter] i don't like unidentified flying objects because it objectifies them, but if there were ever a time for the aliens to land it's a trump in the white house. because in the movies the aliens

would land and say humanity puts their differences aside in russia and china and north korea, aliens with land and we wouldn't even notice and we would take him back later. greg: aliens are you with us or was distraught. >> you get free college, you get free college. greg: i have a theory that i've stolen from the people there aren't any aliens because the light forms were for success then they created technology then they created artificial intelligence which then took over an overlord forever silencing to universe, they are just dead and that is where we are headed. >> were all dead. greg: rounded soon. >> i have no idea what you just said. [laughter] greg: i don't even know why i said it.

>> i disagree once again because it's a dangerous prosecution. what about when dominoes rebranded, then they redid and rebranded it. >> so maybe the aliens are getting more -- how you rebrand a brand -- didn't change the name of dominoes the cards. >> no they didn't. >> rvs, they have the beef, or sandwiches. >> i think with the hundred worry a little more about the chinese. greg: you think the chinese should rebrand? somebody tells me that you believe in aliens? maybe you dated one?

>> merger extra arm greg. >> for shopping and texting. how happy would she be with the forearm guy with two phones texting her every minute on earth. >> i spent a lot of time like five minutes, thinking about whether people who say they say aliens are telling the truth. my first thought is no, but then i thought about it and imagine what it would have to take for you, how certain you would have to be before you went and reported that using an alien, when she do that everyone will think you're crazy. and then everyone will walk around calling you et forever, nobody likes being called et, not even my brother and his name is elliot tips.

greg: is a shriveled? >> not the last time since i saw in. he has been since christmas. greg: what is wrong with me. there is something wrong with me. why do i have a show. still ahead, do you lie about what you did on vacation, you're not alone. that story is next. [cheering] ee if you do laser hair removal. for men. notice that my hips are off the ground. [ engine revving ] and then, i'm gonna pike my hips back into downward dog. [ rhythmic tapping ] hey, the rain stopped. -a bad day on the road still beats a good one off it. -tell me about that dental procedure again! -i can still taste it in my mouth! -progressive helps keep you out there.

-i can still taste it in my mouth! and i don't add up the years.. but what i do count on... is boost®. delicious boost® high protein nutritional drink has 20 grams of protein, with 26 essential vitamins and minerals. boost® high protein. look for savings on boost® in your sunday paper.

greg: did you lie on the beach or lie about the beach? a new study finds that americans are lying about how their great vacations are even creating funny photos to create under permit. about two thirds of the survey, almost half say they lied about the last getaways especially when it comes to the weather, hotels and stuff they saw, meanwhile photo avidity services as fake vacation and chrome photos let you submit a picture with new fake backgrounds. for example, maybe you want them to think he went to barcelona or the great wall of china, no problem. i cannot believe this. i do show people the real thing, take my last vacation, here is me, it was new year's in aspen. a great time.

here we are the year before, this is south beach, so much fun we never triggers itself. here we are in brazil, the guy who has a special power from finding the nearest hot tub. is this pathetic? >> i just thought this was interesting because it made me realize apparently you're supposed to be trying to impress people with your instagram because i have been kinda sharing, and i thought maybe i shouldn't have posted that ami putting a warm compress of us die on my eye. maybe i should post pictures about hair and makeup. one time i post pictures without my hair and makeup done and someone commented, this was so brave of you too post. they were trying to be nice but that was one 100% the meanest think they could've possibly said to me.

like i should be afraid to show my face. >> on the purpose again. greg: good-looking people post pictures of themselves without makeup and go this is me without makeup,. >> i never want to have done that. greg: they do that. >> that's the purpose of instagram, if it's not a lie you believe it. the point is not to have a vacation to take photos, the vacation is the photo she put up that people can see it. i even think that is a saint as avocados. >> i think a small project is if you are doing that don't take a public picture and use it in your fake picture. be a little more sophisticated.

years were very well selected. greg: we traveled around the world,. >> and i get invited to the next unquestioning. greg: are you kidding, you come near him here dead. everyone loves the vacation photos. >> i don't. greg: the people want to make sure that the people you hate are having fun. >> i think you're giving away too much credit. social media an instagram, the new truth is a lie, if someone takes an average picture, and you meet them in person, i can't do that when i meet you. the entire thing is a lie. people have been living in separate houses during this thing. and all of us are like us with the kids at church, then the family meal, then we go to other church, and real-life, don't look at me, but we have to meet once a week.

[laughter] social media is a lie. greg: it is a lie. greg: everybody get off of it. greg: women have deer antlers and are happy with crystals on the head. filters. greg: i hate the filters, i hit everything though. peninsula trail? you won't find that on a map. i'll take you there. take this left. if you listen real hard you can hear the whales. oop. you hear that? (vo) our subaru outback lets us see the world. sometimes in ways we never imagined.

look limu. a civilian buying a new car.ug let's go. limu's right. liberty mutual can save you money by customizing your car insurance, so you only pay for what you need. oh... yeah, i've been a customer for years. huh... only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ [kno♪king] ♪ memories. what we deliver by delivering.

was a success for lastchoicehotels.comign badda book. badda boom. this year, we're taking it up a notch. so in this commercial we see two travelers at a comfort inn with a glow around them, so people watching will be like, "wow, maybe i'll glow too if i book direct at choicehotels.com". who glows? just say, badda book. badda boom. nobody glows. he gets it. always the lowest price, guaranteed. book now at choicehotels.com my mom washes the dishes... ...before she puts them in the dishwasher.

so what does the dishwasher do? cascade platinum does the work for you, prewashing and removing stuck-on foods, the first time. wow, that's clean! cascade platinum. through the at&t network, edge-to-edge intelligence

gives you the power to see every corner of your growing business. from using feedback to innovate... to introducing products faster... to managing website inventory... and network bandwidth. giving you a nice big edge over your competition. that's the power of edge-to-edge intelligence. greg: congrats to my new cohost. [applause] at joe devito comedy and joe devito.com atlantic city, long island coming up. [applause]

excellent, i am greg gutfeld. [cheering] jesse: i am jesse watters and this is a fox news alert, president trump said to take the stage in green bay, wisconsin any moment now. but first, tragedy at a synagogue outside of san diego. a white 19-year-old gunman storming into the service on the final day of passover. killing one woman and injuring three others including a little girl. the suspect taken into custody, president trump addressing the shooting earlier today. >> my deepest sympathies go to the people that were affected, the families, their loved ones by the