pirro. see you next week.

>> i want to ask about omar. i think that's unfair to her. >> you publicists? >> what? >> i'm just someone who cares about the fact that there's someone out there who is in the minority who has press against her and i think that we should all use the same language and ask everybody else to be careful. >> that's a comedian. [laughter] >> stormy, stormy, if that's your competition, you have nothing to worry about. comedian, it's the only trump didn't make great again, instead little hall monitors with tinny wrists, stormy, though, now says trump, that's a bad lawyer, one

that faces centuries in jail, so now stormy is doing stand-up to earn a paycheck but at least she's standing up trying to earn a my check. [laughter] >> thank you. in other news, the new york times had a big, trump lost a bunked until the 90's, i know it's amazing. the movie home alone, how about that vanilla ice guy, mark my words, that fellow is going places, when you can't find any news to match your delusions, you will make anything else news including what trump talks about 15 years ago. >> about 15 years ago i was seriously in debt, i was billions of dollars in debt but i fought back and i won bigly.

>> what other bombshells would they glean from reality, one of the real housewives through a glass of merlot to another house wives. is it journalism when someone else gives you someone else's tax returns. but under trump real news is fit for the old news because when the real news is good, the media has to find conflict to make their president bearable. if only there were a drug. >> how was that news? i'm so tired of "the new york times" packaging old news like it's old news. what will you tell me next, the wall came up.

the media thinks we are idiots. >> you should talk to your doctor, maybe something from common sense. common sense needs to be recognized for what it is. a media to repackage old bar damage, take a look at this. >> this is from 1990. isn't there a way to make it new and fresh again. >> decades' old monday news item or modern-day standoff by erasing all of your long-term memory. you'll be blown away even by the most reporting. >> how do i do that? >> by erasing your long-term memory. who are you anyway? announcer, have been doing the same thing for 3 years. >> really? >> yes. this stuff really works. >> wow. this is unbelievable. did you know trump has been married 3 times. he lost to golf.

he's never going to be elected. >> he was elected in 2016. i must have missed that. look at this, the whole city is getting indoor plumbing, where is the water going to come from. women to get the right to vote, i don't like that at all. >> you're an idiot, i'm leaving you. >> who are you? >> i'm your wife. someone married me. that's awesome. thanks product's whose name i forget. >> making everything old brand new again. [cheers and applause] >> the point is the media is drenched in own failure has to reaanymore nate -- >> people transition of power. >> wouldn't leave following bad stuff revealed, a crisis,

constitutional crisis. >> i agree with congressman nadler that we are in a constitutional crisis? >> we are. everyone knows what a constitutional crisis looks like, well, open your eyes. >> looks like don lemon, what is the crisis, that they are out of ideas, do you think it bothers trump? he has other concerns that. >> that runway is like a skating rink. i think it was put in by the democrats. who knows? [laughter] [applause] >> it does feel like a trap.

>> i don't know whoever got that thing, that's a trap. i'm telling you, it's like -- it's like ridiculous. >> can you imagine if he went down? >> can you imagine if i went down the press would have a field day? >> it's like floating around a piece of ice. >> as i stand here floating around on a piece of ice. i'm a little bit concerned about leaping to podium, you have no idea but i'm going through with it. it's the worst damn stage. i've never seen that. [laughter] >> i wonder who did this one? >> stupid people did this one. no, no. they may be the enemy. >> so what kind of president talks about the slippery stage? that guys the complete opposites

of a politician, there's no platitude, just his thought on slippery floors. so now the media and democrats accuse trump of the very worst, what's the next stop on the crazy train, let's review, first stop was trump unstable, second stop, he's insane, the third russian spy who stole the election, the fourth he won't leave office, the fifth he created constitutional crisis, what's next? could trump been an isis and maroon 5? if the media wants you to think there's unstable tyrant barricading himself in oval office, who is trying to create the crisis really? to what end, what do they want to happen, they are still trying to undo 2016 instead of trying to win 2020. it's the losers' response to losing, winners admit they are wrong and they change, but not here, they just dig a deeper grave as they reelect the person who keeps handing them the

shovels. [applause] [cheers and applause] >> writer, comeddia -- comedian chris. katherine kempf. he flosses with the transalantic cable. former wwe super star tyrus. constitutional crisis? >> absolutely not. i feel like everyone, elected officials are totally obsessed with just taking on trump. they are not legislating, they are not doing their job, they are not doing anything that we

pay them to do and while they keep wasting time doing that, like you said, 2020 is coming closer and closer, they will have nothing to show for it and now they are literally talking about codifying, putting into federal law things that help get trump afterwards because they are never going to let it go and while they are mired in that, our state legislators have been busy also writing bills to make sure that they can get trump afterwards and all it's doing is going to affect us as citizens. >> is codifying like when you take a fish? [laughter] >> like -- you know what it means. >> for bait. >> oh, i'm confused. >> not a cod fish. >> peter pan. >> i know that word as well as you know my last name. [laughter] >> now everybody knows it. >> best friend that knows who he

is. [laughter] >> anything interesting about the show in general? i just want to talk about your name. [laughter] >> what i find interesting is that the media still uses the word shocking in stormy daniels story and i don't like it, number one, most things like if you get a pop-up, stormy daniels with face, chances are what you're looking at gives you a virus of some kind and i can't click on that. i don't like that, number 1, number 2, not shocking, not shocking that trump slept with her. the whole thing was never shocking. >> a billionaire in new york city, i think that's required, kat. not a question really? >> yeah, i don't know where you want me to go with that. >> are you happy she's doing stand-up? >> i feel like it's fine. >> i coin that phrase.

>> i feel like it's fine. i feel like it's better than doing porn to do stand-up, more difficult, so best of luck to her. there's nothing worst than being on stage and trying to tell jokes and having nobody laugh, it's really, really quite sad, but you know, i wish her the best, i wish her the best, i really, really do and it's funny that her lawyer avenatti, obviously he's worst than trump. what are they even talking about? he stole money from people? >> yes. >> trump lost 2 billion -- i lost my cat in my apartment once, sometimes you lose stuff. but all that matters is that you come out on top, you know, i found the cat. he has a career. all is as well and ends well, over and out. >> tyrus last word to you. >> i want to say about doing stand-up, i'm normally in trouble. it's not working, they have a

particular person for the job -- >> yeah, yeah. >> comedy is tough. maybe the audience need to help me, the word constitutional crisis, they say it a lot but no one asked how so, like explain. i was going guest in show, what does it mean, well, open your eyes, get it open. >> yes. >> what is it? it's there. [laughter] >> i don't know what it is. >> exactly. >> the constitution stressed out, what is -- what is the crisis, they used the term with no definition. >> i have a constitutional crisis every day. >> no, i don't -- [laughter] >> no. [applause] >> the reality -- >> constitutional crisis, how so. >> whenever i have cheese. >> i'm not going -- i'm not biting on that.

>> i'm lactose intolerant. >> our founding fathers would be in shame. >> that's constitutional with england saying they want it back. >> that's so true. >> no one is watching. [laughter] >> all right. we have a lot more to come,. [cheers and applause] lease the 2019 nx 300 for $359 a month for 36 months. experience amazing at your lexus dealer. this and even this.hark, i deep clean messes like this. but i don't have to clean this, because the self-cleaning brush roll removes hair, while i clean. - [announcer] shark, the vacuum that deep cleans, now cleans itself. my dream car.

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>> he's bringing the funny to 2020 and barely may and trump in full campaign mode that means picking up challengers one by one. >> you have some real beauties, crazy bernie. choice between sleepy joe and crazy bernie. and how is that going, pick somebody, let's start this thing. [laughter] >> he's right, let's start this thing. i agree. why even pretend they all have a chance. remember when beto was supposed to be next in line, i mean, beto, beto, boy has he fallen like a rock. >> beto, beto, boy, he has fallen like a rock, what the hell happened to beto?

>> sorry. >> beto was here a second ago, the media gets bored with you, pete, the last name is fun to say. pete buttigieg. he has a great chance. representing us against president xi of china, that'll be great. that'll be great. i want to be in that room, i want to watch that one. [laughter] >> trump is right because only a handful has sustained attention. from january to april 30th, the media focused on four, sanders, biden, harris and warren who took up more than half the field's coverage. in other words, candidate has no chance, right, seth?

>> no. >> that worked out well. chris, i believe it would be the greatest election ever because trump is going to be commentary. >> it doesn't matter because entertainment is coming from show. he will treat it as reality show. new one and eliminated. he's the only judge. everyone -- [applause] >> the whole thing is let's go to twitter to see what trump says why they lost. >> yeah. truly tense. tyrus, the npc's in political video game and he's playing the video game. >> whoever wins is trashed like,

literally the biggest loser. they will go through hell with him on the sidelines. i wouldn't be surprised if he showed up and got a higher podium in one of debates. they can't stop him. >> the guys from the money -- muppets. >> yes i will be there. it'll be great. he's going to do comedy the entire time, literally make a joke out of whoever comes out and when they come out, they are going back to the horse you had on, the horse in a stable so long, even when you open the doors, freedom, they won't come out.

[laughter] [applause] >> what can the dems do to find their own trump? >> they can't. i cannot read instagram comments without feeling bad about myself. i don't have the self-esteem for it and i don't know why anybody does, he's so good at insulting people to the point where it shuts them down, elizabeth warren has spent so much time and effort accused of policy walk, talking about the plan and she explained it really well and sound great and trump just said whatever, pocahontas. [laughter] >> nothing you can say to that. >> i'm sure. i feel like it's exactly what you were saying, best in show

turns into hunger games. whoever wins the primary, gladuater arena. >> we haven't seen the person yet. that's what i'm thinking. the dems who beat trump have to have their own trump and it's not them. even strong candidates like kamala, i don't think she can go up against him. that's what trump did. he stepped out of that and that's why they couldn't figure him out. >> gravity is so strong. that person would have to not -- would have to be outside of orbit and not have everything that's response to what he does. >> he's like a giant planet and they are little satellites. >> the person would not have to be a politician. >> exactly. >> yeah. [laughter]

>> i want to hear slippery floor we have more, more, more. coming up a grown man hits on old ladies and surprise, it backfires. [cheers and applause] le value is for 2019, according to kelley blue book. even better than the toyota rav4. sorry, toyota. it's easy to love a subaru.

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investigators say this is being treated as criminal but doesn't look like suspicion, search for missing for 4-year-old girl in houston, police they found bloody evidence in a home of her mother's exfiance, claimed she was kidnapped by 3 men, ambushed him and knocked him unconscious and when he woke up malia was missing but 2-year-old brother was there. malia has several health issues, he's had multiple brain surgeries. now back to greg gutfeld show for all headlines go to foxnews.com

>> watch him cringe cringers. >> once get out in front of planned parenthood of southern pennsylvania. >> she's trying to avoid showing me her face. telling her what to do with their bodies, shame, shame. >> this is what they deserve and this is what they need. >> he seems like a total catch. by the way that went on for 8 minutes, not first defense, he approached woman and 3 young girls outside the same place and offered to rewarded everyone who identifies that. >> before we got here, a bunch of protests, a bunch of christian protestors. i have $100 if anybody would identify and donate to planned parenthood.

>> a bunch of white people standing in planned parenthood, nothing christian about what you are doing. >> more white by the way, following the videos state gop chair called for investigation to whether he violated harassment laws. vowed to do better. >> as activist and advocate i know why pushing back against harassment and discrimination are a must when they are uncomfortable. i was a concerned citizen. i know that two wrongs don't make a right and i will do better for the women of pennsylvania. >> look, bottom line, being a jerk is never a good way to disperse a crowd. you have to think outside the box, you know what i do, i use a cucumber from my cat. [laughter] >> all right, tyrus, i always

wondered, do you think if you were out there, if you were asking one of the protestors, do you see him doing that to you? >> i'm pretty sure when it was over -- [laughter] >> i know, bro, if you do -- first of all, i wouldn't call protest, a small group of people that were praying, obviously it's their right, but if you're going to do that, get camera crew or take two or three, so i'm here, like, $100 for somebody's name, $100, that's your budget. like -- [laughter] >> that was -- i couldn't get to whatever his message was because of heavy breathing, too close to your face, like get a director.

>> yeah. >> and a camera guy. >> you have a production -- >> because it was so bad. [laughter] >> it might not have done, little old woman praying, get a camera crew at least and have a script. >> yeah, emily, i don't trust anyone that says shame on you, crazy people. >> totally. even hearing apology after, he looks up all the words to use and then said it all. >> i bet he did. >> what's so disturbing, these people are convicted about this, so when he is like i'm going to go film this and put them on blast, like aren't there a lot of other actual injustices out there that might help law enforcement or might help communities in need and instead he's trying to shame people for feeling convicted about something and life, like, it

makes no sense to me. >> you know what it was, kat, it was about him. he thought this would make him -- he's not a real congressman, he's a state congressman. [laughter] >> he was trying to enlarge his media spotlight. he knew what he was doing. this is going to be great. i'm going to be the love of media matters. >> that's why he needs a director. >> i don't know a lot about being a politician but the way i understood it is that it's important for you to be likable and i've always thought that when you're trying to be likable, berating teenage girls for praying is on the list of things not to do, like what is he going to do next, go to soup kitchen and call the volunteers jerks, go to orphanage and call all the kids fat, is that what he's going to do next? it's ridiculous.

he thought he was going to be popular and likable by doing this but he came off looking like a total jerk. >> i agree. [applause] >> fat-shaming orphans. >> positive for orphans and everyone else. >> last word, chris, what did you make? >> it took me a while because at first i thought it was saved by the bell. he got counselor job. he tried to be the cool hip, i'm a politician but i have the modern beard, look at me. and he put out like an apology -- >> i am. >> you can do a better job. >> okay, right now it doesn't look that great. [laughter] >> that's all right.

no more beer shaming, you will love the next segment. our robot cop of the future on highway patrol. i hope not, takes out all of the fun of being brit. [cheers and applause] -♪ just like any other family ♪ the house, kids, they're living the dream ♪ ♪ and here comes the wacky new maid ♪ -maid? uh, i'm not the... -♪ is she an alien, is she a spy? ♪ ♪ she's always here, someone tell us why ♪ -♪ why, oh, why -♪ she's not the maid we wanted ♪ -because i'm not the maid! -♪ but she's the maid we got -again, i'm not the maid. i protect your home and auto. -hey, campbells. who's your new maid?

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it comes with really neat music. [laughter] >> anyway, maybe a little slow but it's just a prototype then officer talks to the driver via web cam without ever leaving the car. >> no, sir. >> license and registration. >> oh, man, if i had one of these i would definitely pull over on way to work, they would carpool together. at this point, scan license and spit out a ticket. >> thank you, sir. >> that's nice. like a modern-day colombo.

who am i to talk, here is the last thing that i invented. [inaudible] [laughter] >> it's got two uses. [laughter] [applause] >> chews gum and chews other gum. >> all right, kids. >> kat, people who are mocking this, this is my theory, fiction has tricked people into thinking that robots look like robots from movies, but robots are basically like washer and dryers in the sense that they free individuals from monday activity. this would free the police from getting shot at. >> ieght, i'm antipeople getting shot at. >> thank you. [laughter] >> no butts for that.

i do like that you're communicating with an actual officer, if it was just a robot, you would have no help -- no hope of every manipulating your way out of a ticket, which would be good for other people but bad for me, which is how i view everything. >> right. [laughter] >> exactly. >> when i get pulled over i unbutton the top button, chris, and it usually works? >> they just see the top of your head. [laughter] [applause] >> how about you? >> i'm disappointed with most things they call robots now. you get excited because it's big breakthrough and wizard behind the curtain kind of moment. that's. >> that's our fault. >> we buy it.

[laughter] >> put her on the son's ipad, sends it out there, i don't know. my only question -- >> i don't think you can do better but go with your question. >> my only question was that they said the next one is going to have like a smell of alcohol and stuff which is weird because the question is where do you blow and -- [laughter] >> you know, anything that reduce the risk of competition i'm for. >> yeah. >> i've seen the similar things, they now have the automated thing when you call the person? >> yeah. those are always empty because no one is using them? >> of course n -- in airports you attendants, evolution of where we are going. in traffic stops it's a good idea. my concern would be if the robot jammed. you will be there for a minute.

>> right. >> or hold on, i have to load the paper, give me a second. [laughter] >> you get called -- >> you can't leave because there's spikes underneath the tires, so i'm always that guy. >> it guy in the cop's car. >> issuing warrant. 7 tickets, hold on, hold on. just give us a second. >> you need human touch, that's why they travel in pairs, emily. not in packs, that would be strange. a live cop and robot cop and they can work together and that allows for more pairs, you could double the police force, yes. >> there's definitely going to be a million lawsuits -- >> really? >> yes and also each individual ticket. you know, if you see a prius, probably not -- oh, gosh, i have to pull over. i remember a time in nevada where cop pulled someone else on the other side of the road, he

won't pull over me, he's busy facing the other direction and he pulled me over too and i got a ticket for that. this robo cop would have the last day. >> that's a great story. >> cup of water. >> cup of water. >> anybody remember cop show, human cop and robots, come on, look it up. people at home, by the way, the only way this is going to work is they have to teach the cop bot how to do surveillance, if the police officer is stuck in car, they have to talk about sports, girls, because they have there for hours. hey, that girl in game of thrones is hot. how about the cubs? [laughter] >> i'm going to let that just go away. thank you.

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>> rather than float in the

boat, a french adventurer recently completed a solo transalantic voyage, the journey would stand the entire atlantic ocean, off the coast of africa. that's continent, emily, eating cod itself, the man arrived last week on the shore of island in the caribbean where he was instantly executed. [laughter] >> not really. when asked why he spent 4 months in a barrel, he said, hey, i'm married.

>> all right, kat. >> doesn't he know there's plenty of good stuff on tv. >> i just don't understand having that kind of face that you will float in the barrel and the ocean bring you where you want to go. i don't have faith that my delivery guy will remember to scoop my bagel unless i text him and remind me and the consequences of that not going my way, more bread than i wanted to. if things don't go his way, he would die. because then, you know, it's better for you. >> sorry. >> you know, tyrus, he crossed the atlantic in the barrel.

i almost crossed the atlantic with a before relate inside me. >> i don't care, i don't want to know. ocean current and -- i don't want to do that. i thought like barrel in niagara falls. but what he did, this is obviously scientific experience where he's using the winds and currents and stuff like that which is in cylinder shape to travel, very clever smart thing to do. if you look at it, that was not just their everyday barrel, that was designed specifically to do what he wanted to do. good for him. >> that's true. >> you're only saying smart because he's not dead. >> no, i'm saying -- >> if he were dead, everyone would say what was he thinking.

>> no. [laughter] [applause] >> i hate to be the one to tell you, kat, the reason why, most of us, not the way we wanted to, shopped on the ship and wind to get here. >> emily, this is the kind of behavior that is it really necessary, like this is what a robot would do, right, we don't need to do this in a barrel, right? >> well, this is why he was living his dream, rice a robot, like you said earlier, replaces the task, for him this was exploring. i just feel like the older i get the more i'm aware of my own mortality and so, when i was a kid, i want to be astronaut and now everyone who wants to fly to the moon, absolutely, not, i will stay right here, thank you. >> me too. >> did you hear his name?

[laughter] >> the question for last, chris, where the hell does the guy poop? >> that was the question. i had the same reaction as tyrus, i was thinking niagara falls, and this guy, oh, my god, barrel and you mean that thing with navigational systems and plumbing and, basically put wood and plastic around my apartment. [laughter] >> the size of your apartment. >> 4 months living my life when i don't have shows coming up and you find yourself -- [laughter] >> basically my life. it can't be that bad. >> that's how new yorkers live with just little bit of nausea to go with it. very sad. all right, well that ended explosively. don't go anywhere, final thoughts next.

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>> we are with our time chris free that's it for studio audience that's greg. ♪ welcome to waters world i'm jesse waters we begin with with real news of the week. democrats in the house judiciary committee voting to hold attorney general william barr in con templet of congress refusing to turn over full unredacted mueller report declaringng in a constitutional crisis. listen. everst wonder what a constitutionallal crisis looks like? open your eyes. we are now in a constitutional crisis president trump appear to be headingng towards a constitutional crisis.g >> i saw this coming and mentioned the constitutional crisis we're hovering on a constitutional crisis. >>