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tv   The Greg Gutfeld Show  FOX News  June 1, 2019 7:00pm-8:00pm PDT

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♪ the taxi obstacle, master the metaphor of overcoming in the danger of success all the clear. after all, that is what my motto is, let's get after it, facing the challenge. you know they say, it's the economy stupid. that can be read in a number of different ways. it's the economy, stupid. i sense a fever rash climbing
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hands and gasped. what the hell is going on at cnn. they're dropping acid. [laughter] what a time to be alive, ice is destroyed, things are kinda peaceful, economy rolls on with the stores and employment and are the number one country song. shut up, about politics, nothing but a big politic strip. aside of obama, shut up about politics. pretty good. [applause] all the money from that song goes to charity.
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[cheering] god i love that girl. she dances for money. but she swears she's going to quit. when times are great, what is the media going to do, new drama enters a big debate over impeachment. >> mueller statement into words, yesterday and my bmps already, ps lose my number. >> this report obviously was at this at the time, is a roadmap for impeachment. >> what more do congressional democrats before they make a decision about impeachment? >> begins with the letter i can impeachment. >> thank you for the clue. can you blame them? how did bits of public stuff is bad when it is not.
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he returned to the spoiled fruit of collusion for another bite. if it's testing the impatience of this republic, that we can put up with hacks and the media is still go to work at ticker business, here's an analogy. have you seen the strongman competition when massive dutiful airplanes by themselves? you ever wonder why that massive guy is pointing their point by himself? is he suppressed, angry, emotionally damaged by election, no he is pulling the dam plane because he can. that massive guy is america an entity so resilient that a kind of piece of prosperity we pull airplane by herself just for kicks. the media, i'm not done with my analogy. the media is that plane that we have to pull a ball and chain on the american people for two years of a hot fever of wisteria all driven by hatred for one
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guy, trump who represents you. [cheering] the dems are stupid enough to fall for the immediate impeachment fantasy that i love it. impeachment is like a toy you give to a screaming baby just to shut it up. here you go, it is hysterical brat, play with this. here's with the left as i get, playing with the toy generates energy trump, impeachment is a giant battery, powered by the peddling of the rational media and the dumb dems who follow. how is trump handling? is wondering where nick is. >> nick, where are you nick, get up your neck. come here neck nick. they give you such a lousy seat back in the corner.
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but what about parker? , parker it appeared parker. khmer parker they love you parker. why do you like him so much? don't forget the home in derby. home run derby? that is something. in all of college baseball, wow, i want to feel these guys muscles. [applause] that was trump giving the commencement address where he shook 1000 hands, what a contrast, trump shakes the hands of a thousand cadets in his closest rival joe biden is massaging the shoulders of a preteen. [laughter] then, he has to sit down to take a nap.
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but the media still thanks trump got elected. so did russia help? >> no russia did not help me get elected. you know who got me elected, i got me elected. [cheering] oh yeah, it's so bad these days that pools are blurring mega hats. they actually had ebola run out. no surprise to the repetition of media demonization the trade to demand as a hateful one that's propaganda. it automatically tells you read whatever is being voted is offensive even if it is not. for proof take a look at the democratic candidates who were so disturbing to be the merited a blurb. >> sanford cisco, how are we doing? oh my gosh, it is so great to be
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back here, i am sorry we are little bit late. >> here's joe biden. >> i think it's part of the reason the much print certainty but the answers the fact of the matter is what was mayor pete thinking? [inaudible] >> are there laws against that? we went to the zoo and fillmore discussed the under discussing behavior. what in heavens name are the sick creatures up to. don't they realize that children can see this activity, this is absolutely -- look at this go, what you doing. all right, now let's take a look
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at your favorite talk show host. [laughter] i apologize for that. you're clapping, you're disgusting. absolutely disgusting but it tells you what the meaning is for 2020 and beyond. to blur reality. oops good the things that you see you only see what they want to dizzy and awful world under trump. the city, the country is doing so well that we can have a sideshow of distortion. there's an upside, it creates great music videos. ♪ shut up about politics ♪ shut up about politics ♪ shut up about politics ♪ shut up about politics
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♪ shut up about politics ♪ [laughter] took his cruise on a gravy vote. anchor of the daily briefing dana prieto. writer and comedian jody beadle. considered one of the seven deadly sins the cat coming to the fox nation. decide on mars, wbe host. [cheering] you are one of the first person to say that the democrats are listening to the wrong voice, i think a twitter they will see # impeached and say wait, that's
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what we should be doing. >> they really need to have their bubble burst. because they're in a twitter world and everything you see is collusion and impeachment and all the hashtags that they think is reality and then you find out the on the house side, the house democrats, 200 and something of them, only 40 of them are for impeachment and all of them will get reelected so easily they will not even have a contest. then you have the 2020 dems, whose the one in the lee, biden. what is he saying, no, what's below season, no. she knows the only reason she is the majority and the leadership is because modern democrats beat the republicans in 2018 and they cannot continue to hold the majority if they try to impeach president trump. >> i want this impeachment is about. it is good to be so much fun. what are your thoughts about this week? >> is like watching cnn. they look like two men have been broadcasting for 20 hours straight. they were starting to lose it.
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for the tail and of the jerry lewis telethon. angelica's are hustling around and all that. they are really losing their minds. they do not know the way the rest of the country is about this because they are only used to talking to themselves. it can like when you go to l.a. and everybody has so much plastic surgery they forget were more normal people look like and think like. normal people don't think that russia elected our election and this is an attempt to return a democratically elected president and they will not fall for. >> good point, good point. [applause] what are your thoughts? >> my thoughts, i really enjoyed how the democrats seized on mueller saying there is no evidence that trump did not commit a crime. avenues if that means he committed a crime.
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if that is a new standard i definitely expect to be arrested for murder very, very soon. not because they murdered anyone but because i spent a lot of time alone in my apartment so i can ever come up with a solid alibi so i don't know what will happen with trump impeachment stuff but for me it is looking like 25 to life. [applause] >> it can be embarrassing for you when they keep asking where you were quite where you were on the night of the 19th, and what were you doing on the 20th? and not getting the toddlers to speak on your behalf. >> i don't know the toddlers. >> pirates, clean this up. >> have a lot to clean up.
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you should talk about to 25 years to life in nature about it, you're sick. [laughter] if you say something every day that maybe one day it will come true, if you do say it hoping that that will maybe get a few w more viewers. if we start saying it, would that be number one and number two? there is youtube kitchens, whose number one? my hands hurt. oh yeah us. but we don't say impeachment, we tell like it is and how he wanted to be. [cheering] >> to davis point, the democrat candidates that are pushing impeachment, that is how he say he really, really want to go to school after is noted, because
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you know there's a risk. inanities people have -- this 24 candidates per day no that joe biden is wafer and delayed by 24 points. everybody else can you get to 24%. they pay no price for calling for impeachment. >> my point, is that biden is massaging the numbers. [laughter] on that note, coming out, after the democratic candidate stands up and brought a deal. [cheering]
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>> will discarded field ever yelled. they are all fighting for recognition but have no expert and even i know you have to send the hurt. should i present the candidate leader, first eliminate any candidate for as the first episode of scooby doo. that takes out mayor pete castro, o'rourke and yang. what does that leave, then we eliminate anyone who still uses a library card.
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sorry about that burning. >> like i said that's what i want for my family. , i am not a person of color, eye medicines and. >> was there any benefit to that? >> no,. >> like the original rachel
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gopal,. [laughter] [applause] >> that did not go well so she is done, get rid of her. if you're born during a full moon gone, as ryan mary, if you went to law school, sia. so without all those guys, all that's left is john hicken looper whose name can be spelled and rearranged to say cheek, porn, oil. he is the candidate. [cheering] any thoughts on these candidates, anybody like or dislike? this is a stage where they say who is interested. so that's where you look like whose interesting, we want to see diversity intuitively knew,
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ideas were not her before and after the growth of the process, they say it was a white person but from her will try that again. i want to note why de blasio is getting a bigger push anything to get him outside new york city. [applause] >> that is so selfish, i'm a new yorker, i don't want him, let's point him to america. >> has have the charisma. >> i say then him to iowa to see what they can have to have some week stations with plenty of rest and garbage difficult to read. >> isaac as a rebound effect the people run through president to get exposure but maybe they were better unexposed reflecting swalwell. >> i still don't know entirely what he looks like. he looks like every white guy i see on the street every day. maybe i have seen eric swalwell but joe biden makes running for
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president look very easy because he only had the notoriety he is not showing up anywhere doing anything. he decide, i'm running for president. and then he is winning. >> i do that. it is probably smart because the dude is like a gas machine and there's less of a risk of them saying something dumb posse assigned problem apps. it looks like he likes is apps naps. >> you cannot naps because you overdosed on coffee and nicotine all day. [laughter] i do like stimulants. >> you do. >> i'm glad we got that out of the way. >> here's the thing. if you have a pool full toxic waste and everybody hates it and done in the most, whatever comes out of there i'm tony what am
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not swimming there. [inaudible] a dirty pool that would want to go in, that's congress. fighting walks in chills and weakens it with the debate the cool thing about whiting and birdie, the debate will be around 4:00 o'clock. [laughter] probably good old stories and the say alright gentlemen time for them to nap. [laughter] this is a real adversary to the debt economy in a strong economy. >> first of all, most presidents win reelection and only twice in world war ii have they not, carter and george h. w. bush
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because the economy is down. if you think the history does not always repeat and therefore it's hard to imagine the one thing you've not had approval ratings being where they are it's hard for me too imagine the democrats being able to come up with a coherent economic argument that can counter reality. people do not live on twitter, they live in the real world where things are good. >> it is hard to beat that caught mark will end on that. [applause] a happy high note for all of us. if your cat, literally high. >> and elma sweeping the country, how much do you want to bet it's not real. [cheering] my digestive system used to make me feel sluggish
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but now, i take metamucil every day. it traps and removes the waste that weighs me down, so i feel lighter. try metamucil, and begin to feel what lighter feels like.
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>> america's headquarters virginia beach is a community in mourning right now after a shooting rampage killed 12 people. eleven of the victims were city employees and one contractor paid one worked for the city for 41 years and another was a new mom, her baby less than a year old. their bodies were discovered on every floor of the building except the basement. family and friends are mourning the loss at a makeshift tomorrow. at least through the victims are still in the hospital and investigators have not identified the suspect, he died
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in a gun battle with police. they have given no motive for why he allegedly gunned down his coworkers on friday, the 40-year-old worked for the city for 15 years as an engineer. it looks like he purchased the 45 caliber pistol to use in the shooting legally. now back to the great couple >> a condition caused by work stress. they say if you feel exhausted or negative or cynical about your job then you suffer from burnout. now that is a medical condition. look we all have stress at work, that is why it is called work. not play. [laughter] you deal with people who get on your nerves, try putting up -- [laughter] heating up last night meal or
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one in the office microwave, how depressing is that. it is not the smell is the fact that he is alone but it's not african medical condition. you want to reduce stress, take a vacation, walk around the block, have a drink after work, takes the edge off. doesn't fluffy? ♪ you been working a lot, we always here about how hard you are working. due by the burnout? >> i never thought i would say this, but i really want this syndrome. [laughter] i do. could you imagine what you might be prescribed if you had the syndrome? good point.
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>> the doctor would say okay you need tequila and pancakes. i call you and say sorry greg i'm not coming in today, i need to watch dan's moms and my pajamas all day and then i need to watch trs and go get a manicure which is covered by my insurance because this is the syndrome. and you cannot say anything or you'd be discriminating against my very serious syndrome that can only secured the eating pancakes, drinking tequila watching tv and getting my nelson. [applause] >> it is true. this is designed for people to abuse. right? >> called on. cat just open up and share some real stuff with us. my concern is a gateway drug. open up for other things, like stuff that i suffer from a b now i sure what i'm going to.
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>> relationship is burnout. [laughter] >> conversation with people burnout, small cars all the time burnout. [laughter] walking on the street and people saying hey, there's a lot of stuff, let's not be so sure to hit on this. we'll get doctors notes and we can do whatever we want, even of the disease, punching people in the mouth,. [laughter] also you, doctor snow. [laughter] let's hold off on this,. >> i can get away with a lot of stuff. i think to quote jesse watters. what did he say. >> jesse watters has never been quoted before. so this is a big differ him and this moment. we talked about this the other day, because this is done by the united nations that this is really a and tac attack on capim
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prayed they want to say everybody work so hard and comes back to pointing the finger at us and why people are just that. >> i think this is a lot to do with first-time response fully. instead of work not play. everybody is searching for something that is going to fulfill them is not necessarily worse then you have a responsibility to figure out what it can be herself. it might be toddlers and trs. it is a good conspiracy. >> big pancake. [laughter] >> can you be printed ou burneda state of comedian? >> i think you start out burnout. [laughter] >> when you're done looking at the blue box at work go look at the glowing blue box at home and then the bigger blue box in the last one. this is a modern disease called living too long. when people worked in the comments, he did not hear them say i feel unfulfilled. well you died when you're 17.
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i'm sure that the copper minders in the congo, the heart goes out to people who don't have economic chairs. [laughter] i have to believe that the side effects from work are not as bad as the side effects of not working. >> absolutely. >> people you are born to get a produce of the. you want to dig a hole in the next day you want to feel whole. more portly you want to check for. [applause] >> exactly. >> i'll talk to hr about that. i'm sorry. this is designed to get press, producers and tv shows love and illness. because a new illness means a segment which filled the whole in the show. so it's actually how a segment is great work for producers. >> if any study -- >> remember this week with
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twitter, makes you dumb study. we did not even look with the city was we just thought talked about it. >> we read about on twitter. exactly. [laughter] >> up next, sex robot charming or rea upsetting? ♪ hmm. exactly.
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don't use if you're allergic to cosentyx. before starting cosentyx, you should be checked for tuberculosis. an increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms. or if you have received a vaccine or plan to. if you have inflammatory bowel disease, tell your doctor if symptoms develop or worsen. serious allergic reactions may occur. see me now. i'm still clear. how sexy are these elbows? get clear skin that can last. ask your dermatologist about cosentyx. >> robots that have sex are becoming very complex. the segment on sex roebuck's the sex robot are making more lifelike now, dana i cannot believe you're making me do the story. [laughter] this is what robotics is making
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them ahead moves the mouth opens, it's creepy how the sex roebuck's look. action wanted to talk about this is that. >> good boy. good boy. >> yeah i wanted to do a story on puppies and babies but now are doing this. our angel, as a single man is a comedian thoughts? >> there is no way this will backfire and humanity. not only robots earn a weird uncanny valley, the uncanny valley is cute when his cartoon and we like it when it looks like represent but there's a moment where it gets too close but not quicker. so this is not only -- as an under age sex robot.
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this is the cutting-edge suffering people think that text. >> robots are some back from often part. it will be a flush like r2-d2 combination. you have guys were getting into affairs with a robust and thinking, at least he cleaned up "after words". [laughter] i think the only thing creepy or than this are the users. >> one hundred. we agree. i'm to be honest, if it's down to me find robot i'm just not going to do it. [laughter] there is less than 58 to 60% of the population is women or whatever you're into, if you cannot get on the team just don't play. for real, i'm excited, because testosterone is a 500-pound drama back. [laughter] if there's a way a basic away, i don't need no damn robot, with my luck should download, getting
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hacked by next lumber. [laughter] , brag about herself on the internet. what happens,. >> your solution for anything automated is throw couple water on it. >> try it. >> do not get a robot, get a haircut. [laughter] do not give up. >> give any thoughts on this or your dad watching? my dad is watching, i just want to say dad, it is a learning what a generation will do in order to not have to interact with another human being. we use technology for
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everything, we are obsessed with technology, we are partly so obsessed that we're going to start banging it. [laughter] also i feel like this makes me think i need to get married very, very soon. because it is tough enough even to compete with other human women, now i might soon have to compete with something that's exactly like a human woman except for all the crying, the toddler's and trs watching insane is not what you said it's how you set it. i had to wipe up before this or i'm doomed. [laughter] [applause] >> glassware, i wanted you -- >> i got these topics earlier and i have been worried all day.
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[laughter] >> that is why we did it. >> i think there's a theme to the show. robot are not reality. twitter is not reality, if there's going to be robots seeing try to avoid it. humans are meant to be together. give that a shot. >> the thing is,. [applause] it also eliminates the sense of achievement you feel when a woman only agrees to go out with you. that is part of the deal, part of the relationship to impress nobody so they actually like you. you cannot do that with the robot. >> dana, your happily married so i can ask you this, what would happen if you go home late from walking jasper and he walked in the door and the old man is with the robot, is that the same thing? like college meant nothing, it's a program is not a dealbreaker? or that the therapy thing?
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>> i would say we've been together 22 years and never been a problem. [laughter] >> what if you come home one night and you like what is with the bill from the electric company,. [laughter] >> why do you think the married person is the one that has a problem. [laughter] >> because you been together 22 years and all of a sudden you keep it in the closet it won't call them, it won't graduate, want trump dinner, it won't be a dead rabbit in the pot, there's a lot of benefit. i'm just saying, greg, the good news is i don't think there's a lot of crossover between men have with robust in men who have with actual women's. [laughter] there is no overlap. up next, ramble is back kicking butt and smelling like bengay.
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[laughter]
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like to die. seventy-two years old.
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good for him. later this year to be back lane rambo to the pit time and last blood. he is taken a drug cartel to rescue someone's kidnapped daughter, hoping to give it all away. surprising twist, here's the trailer. ♪ >> i love this couple of reasons, even in the 70s he is still doing what he does best which is speaking in short sentences while killing people. [laughter] hollywood not scrip rebo putting younger rambo and or hipster because if they did it would look like this.
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rambo. >> i would not see that. are you excited? >> it's cool, i'll get it when it comes on itunes just for respect, i'm a little disappointed with the looks. rambo has a long here in vietnam and with all that, you think he'd be able to put the green jacket and long here and somewhat open the closet for the red bandanna and ready to go for it he looked pretty modernized but i'll let it fly. you gotta check it out. i get a little worried as an actor whenever guys were at the top of the world, yet some great films when it has a balboa production. that is when his light, who, for some reason i cannot get
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funding. i get a little worried we get to the point and five is was about number. if rocky five does not exist anymore we had to make it go away, let's just hope. >> is he a hero out of place? to america assisted not kill about people? >> in 2024 if you wanted to run. [laughter] people in their 70s or thinking. except for bernie sanders maybe. [laughter] >> bernie should've been the rambo. [laughter] what do you think? i think the trail gaming pills because an older person beating up young people. >> just for playing music too loud. but what's great about this, you can watch his movie and you will not be thinking what was it really about. [laughter] you will not think about like double warming, or maybe i can
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use a plastic shopping. [laughter] i better use of paper stock, then the turtles won't tank. he kills bad guys. >> by the border. >> the drug cartel in wisconsin. [laughter] >> he might kill somebody with a plastic straw. i cannot wait to see. >> i think it should be more age-appropriate. if you 73, what piss is you off, other 73 euros. it should've been first blood, the villages. classwork,. [laughter] >> greg, as you know i am very young. so i'm not even entirely sure what a rambo is.
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[laughter] i am getting that is a man. [laughter] so you could play me any movie where the main guy is a guy and tell me was rambo and i would tell everybody i just watch rambo and i would say the same thing i would say after watch any movie, need more and adam seiler. >> that would get under been a good replacer. >> don't forget the monologues life comes to jersey shore later this summer. saturday july 20 at paris park new jersey. special guest and tickets on sale now. stay right there, final though thoughts. [cheering] this is a commercial about insurance
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>> greg was a cowriter, john rich was a single writer and please download it. we have to get to number one. [applause] you cut it in just-in-time. we just started shooting rambo six. [laughter] this weekend coming up of the new jersey and princeton to get to read and make sure you check it out. [applause] >> if you live in new york or if you want to come to new york we will be doing a show at carolines on broadway on june 27, that's a thursday at 10:00 p.m., maitri, it would mean a lot. >> that is it for us. thank you to dana perrigo, joe cat inner-city audience.
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[cheering] >> welcome to watters "watters " president trump running out of patience with mexico they will be balking the southern neighbor with a 5% tariff because i have not done a snuff to stop illegals from pouring into her country, the president's warning that this new video shows more than 1000 migrants crossing the border illegally in the el paso area. that is a record. joining me now counsel to the president. >> i think this works because immediately the president to mexico desperately seeking a meeting with the president of the united states, this looks like a

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