>> if you cast it really well and you got, like, george clooney or ben stiller to direct it, you could make a movie about any day of the trump administration that had a plot that was more scandalous than anything that has happened in any other u.s. presidential administration since there were cars. greg: since there were cars? [laughter] that's a long time! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ greg: thank you. this is a big night for us. our fourth anniversary of the gg show. [cheers and applause] we actually threw a party to

celebrate. ♪ [laughter] greg: now, the only way this show can exist is because other people made it possible. now, i'm not talking about producers, writers or my maas ifage therapist gun they are. they're -- gunther. it's also the 75th anniversary of d-day, so it's important to reminded us and myself that my freedom was made possible by them. our ability to be self-obsessed is owed to those who did the complete opposite. they fought so we can text each other emojis. they fought so i can binge watch gill more girl -- gilmore girls, a show i hated when it first aired. they fought so i could do this. ♪ ♪ [laughter] greg: by the way, i was

batman -- [laughter] and lou dobbs was spider-man in that video. [laughter] but it's a fact, hard lives -- many of them cut short, led to our easy, longer lives. and all that time we have lets us dissect our -- if your life is a gift paid for by the blood of others who never made it off those beaches, it might be good to assess what you're doing with that gift. it might get you off your butt or find something else to do beyond writing unicorn fan fiction. i swear i'm quitting. [laughter] so that's why donald trump was in london for the anniversary of d-day. of course, wherever trump goes, entertainment follows. now, i liked him at that dinner with the queen, because it's fun to see him on good behavior. he's like the little brother at his sister's first communion -- [laughter] he's trying to keep his mouth shut and his eyes open, knowing

that later there's going to be cake. [laughter] and it's going to have sprinkles. and, yeah, there was an inflatable balloon. [laughter] also known as the london mayor. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: of course, there was our media exporting their delusions across the pond. >> for a president who would like to believe that he is royalty, this trip has got to be right up his alley. >> the president claimed to protest the fake news, they are not. >> president trump heads toward the end of this careening circus of prattfall embarrassments on this overseas trip. greg: the definition of an illusion is seeing something that no one else sees, and i don't think anyone saw any prattfalls. but i guess when your collusion illusion collapses and your ratings follow, you'll say just about anything. but the reaction is just more of

the media's wishful thinking overriding reality. they're like a kid with an active imagination. no, this isn't a cardboard box, it's an underground space bunker. [laughter] but as usual, the focus on words -- not deeds -- creates a mental health problem. it's why in the best of times they see only the worst. and so they dreamt of massive protests, fantasizing over humiliating spectacles that weren't to be. they wanted trump to make a fool of himself, but instead they looked a fool. sure, there were protests. but instead of any debate, british liberals just threw milk shakes at people. and being lactose intolerant, i consider -- [laughter] i consider this a hate crime. [laughter] and what a contrast from the actions of the brave men on d-day. anyway, so many things that were once british are now judged problematic by useless fools who throw milkshakes. i just saw a clip of the new

james bond film, and even that's been adjusted for modern times. ♪ ♪ >> where are you? where's the bomb? >> you can't get away with this. >> oh, but i already have. by the time you track me down, it will be too late. [laughter] >> oh, james, you're so predictable. all i have to do is push this button, and this building will be leveled. >> there's only one thing that can stop a madman like you. ♪ ♪

>> wait! [cheers and applause] greg: all right. the best part of the week was seeing those old guys. 75 years later, these heroes are still being told that what they did back then matters. somehow i don't think 75 years from today in 2094 there will be an adoring crowd telling some punk how heroic he was for throwing that milkshake. oh, yeah, doris, you really saved a situation when in college you staged a sit-in over the use of ground beef on taco tuesdays. [laughter] it makes you wonder, could we pull off a d-day now? yeah. our military still kicks ass. it's made of many young, brave people. it's just how our media culture frames things. the real heroes to them don't enlist, they resist, which is

why this week was so refreshing and so amazing. but it's a week brought to us by a lot of people who aren't here to see it. [cheers and applause] >> let's welcome tonight's guests! greg: he's so patriotic, the american flag has a tattoo of him on its back. "fox & friends" weekend cohost pete hegseth. [cheers and applause] he once got drunk on root beer, hosted the quiz show on fox nation, evil genius, tom shah lieu. and you'll quickly find she speaks her name, beginning thursday on fox nation, a new show, kat timpf! [cheers and applause] and superheros watch movies of him. former wwe superstar and host of enough said beginning wednesday, another new show on fox nation, tyrus! [cheers and applause]

all right. pete, i've got to ask you two questions. what'd you think of the week? i thought it was a good week, so you don't have to answer that question, i just answered it myself. [laughter] we'll be right back. >> i agree. greg: how did you think trump did on the show? >> fantastic. he did over there and did what you want an american president to do. and at first they tried not just with the balloons and milkshakes, remember the meghan markle thing? they started the trip by trying to put him in a bad light, and he went there and honored the legacy of these men the way you'd want an american president to do so. so i -- [cheers and applause] he comes back with even more credibility, which is why they hate him so much. he looked presidential because he is the president. greg: yeah. >> they forget, that right? what they want to undo. but he still makes the critiques about what europe is getting wrong today, which is they opened their borders, they gut

their militaries to pay for their welfare state and they don't demand assimilation, and then they wonder why they are where they are. we've got plenty of great g.i.s, we've got a lot of problems, but some great troops in our military ready to fight. europe is awol. greg: the reason why they can gut their military is because -- don't. [laughter] yeah, that's an issue. and, tom, well done in the video. [applause] what do you think of the milkshake as a tool to protest with? [laughter] being on the front end of it? >> it's actually pretty effective, greg. [laughter] i had to hop right in the shower, and the vanilla is very sweet. but i took it pretty well, didn't i? [applause] i took that milkshake dead on. "the new york times" wrote about milkshakes as a tool now, seriously, as if it's an actual thing that protesters are using, because they are.

and they said they kind of turned the tables because white supremacists are really into milk. did you know that? greg: no, i didn't. [laughter] >> apparently, "the new york times" says white supremacists love milk. greg: where do they get this tough? >> i have no idea. greg: everybody drinks milk! if a lot of people enjoy one thing, then white supremacists are probably going to enjoy it. that's how it works. [laughter] >> yes. yes. greg: tyrus, don't look at me like that. [laughter] i am lactose intolerant, i can't drink milk! >> well, then you're not racist. [laughter] [applause] greg: tom the, would you care to finish whatever thought you had before i move on in. >> i mean, i think trump did pretty well in great britain, and the pundits don't know what to do because he gave what everyone seemed to think was a very good speech, you know, about the world war ii generation, and he gave a great tribute to them. and you cut back to pundits, and

they're kind of like -- [inaudible] [laughter] they had nothing to say. greg: they actually had jim acosta actually complimented him begrudgingly, and i'm not even sure what that means, kat, begrudgingly. >> no. [laughter] i know what it means. greg: yes. >> i think the biggest compliment though for trump had to have been the big balloon baby, because i think that you can measure your influence in the efforts that people are going to try and troll you. greg: yeah. >> like, i've never been in the market for one -- [laughter] but i'd imagine that balloon baby is not cheap. greg: no, it's not. [laughter] >> like, somebody probably missed their family vacation to put all that money toward balloon baby fund, that's how much he's affecting them. [laughter] i would love it if i went to another country and there was a big balloon baby of me. i would not go see any other sites. [laughter] [cheers and applause] i don't get that though.

i just get mean tweets from people with no picture. [laughter] i'm not quite there yet. greg: tyrus, when i watch trump at these things, i feel hike he reminds -- like he reminds me of you -- [laughter] or even me at these formal events where you've got to be on somewhat of your best behavior? come on. >> you, me and president trump look alike in some form? greg: i'm talking about -- no, we are not -- >> what are you taking? greg: we are not politicians. look, i could never be a politician, because i could never do these formal events, ever. >> i was going to say, i thought he did well. he did a lot better than i would have. old people scare me when they're that old. i'd be scared if i bumped her, i'd break something, you know? but i was, honestly, man, i was really ashamed when i look at the behavior of our country when our president -- whether you like him or not, didn't want to vote for him or whatever -- is over in another country, is

representing the united states, and over here the running thing was we want him in prison. we can't wait to send -- so everything he's doing is being undermined. greg: yeah. >> and while it's scoring points for them and -- it's embarrassing us. they're hurting us. it's no longer about the mueller report, whatever, it's about embarrassing america as much as they can for their own benefit. and that, to me, is just tragic that that's where we're at in this country that it's no longer country first. it's me first. because even if i had complete beef with president trump and i didn't support his presidency and i didn't vote for him, he's going into somebody else's yard, i'm going to support him while he's there. wait for him to get home and then continue beefing with him. [applause] but we don't do that here. greg: it's true. >> it's embarrassing. greg: yeah. well, that was a pretty good point to end on, unless anybody else wants to drag the show down. [laughter] >> i want to drag it down. greg: i knew it. pete always loves to drag it

down. >> i love what you said about the world war ii votes, because we think of to these guys like rambo, storming the beaches, these guys were 5-9, 140 pounds on average, you did such a great job on that. greg: thank you. that's how we should end the segment. [laughter] ms. how bleak was the what's going on up here? can't see what it is yet. what is that? that's a blazer? that's a chevy blazer? aww, this is dope. this thing is beautiful. i love the lights. oh man, it's got a mean face on it. it looks like a piece of candy. look at the interior. this is nice. this is my sexy mom car. i would feel like a cool dad. it's just really chic. i love this thing. it's gorgeous. i would pull up in this in a heartbeat. i want one of these. that is sharp. the all-new chevy blazer. speaks for itself. i don't know who they got to design this but give them a cookie and a star.

hey! i live on my own now! i've got xfinity, because i like to live life in the fast lane. unlike my parents. you rambling about xfinity again? you're so cute when you get excited... anyways... i've got their app right here, i can troubleshoot. i can schedule a time for them to call me back, it's great! you have our number programmed in? ya i don't even know your phone anymore... excuse me?! what? i don't know your phone number. aw well. he doesn't know our phone number! you have our fax number, obviously... today's xfinity service. simple. easy. awesome.

i'll pass. >> and now, the greg gutfeld show presents the 2020 candidates. greg: all right. there's 23 in the field, and they're looking congealed. you've got your grouchy old man giving it to whippersnappers of walmart, that's bernie sanders telling the execs they pay tar vegas wages and -- starvation wages and said workers should have seats on their boards. >> and we want free prunes. [laughter] >> free prunes would be nice. [laughter] pressure. [applause] greg: thank you. all right. socialist ideas like bernie's is are so pie in the sky, that's when moderate dems try to bring

voters back to reality, but this happens. >> socialism is not the answer. i was reelected -- [inaudible conversations] >> medicare for all may sound good, but it's actually not good policy, nor is it good politics. [inaudible conversations] i'm telling ya. greg: the sad thing is if those two didn't get booed, they'd get no coverage at all. [laughter] but with leftists, even your supporters don't like you. like this chap. >> hey, hey. hey, hey, hey, hey! [inaudible conversations] >> hi, hi. hi. [inaudible conversations] [laughter] greg: there's a surprise. he's got a man bun. it's the golden rule, wherever there's a loser, a man bun is attached. then there's joe, accused

plagiarism once again for his green new deal. tough being at the top. they just want to knock you down, kind of like this. [background sounds] greg: you know what? if that was joe biden this week, kat. don't you think? [laughter] >> yeah. i mean, i'm just shocked with some of these deeply unpopular candidates, that they keep at it. [laughter] greg: yeah. >> they won't quit. they can get booed and then wake up the next morning, like, i could be the leader of the free world. [laughter] i'm worthy of that. it's like, for me, if i fall asleep in hi makeup and i -- my makeup and i look in the mirror, i have a hard time saying i can go to bagel store, you know? [laughter] [applause] because it's like the somebody with the fake eyelash somehow in her nose deserve a bagel? i don't know. so i'm jealous of their

confidence, quite frankly. greg: you know what's funny? i fall asleep in my makeup, and my pillow looks like the shroud of turin. sometimes i'll call the press and say i think we found it. tyrus, what do you make of this crew? >> i don't. [laughter] i don't think anybody does. like, right now if i said $1,000 for anybody who can stand up and name 15 of 'em -- greg: yeah. nope. >> nope, not gonna happen. no one knows who these people are, and the cold part is the two guys that were booed, they were telling it like it is! greg: exactly. >> guys, we're not socialists. liar! [laughter] and here is the thing, they are not going to stop til they destroy the front-runner. the old men are done. old white men are endangered. i never thought in my lifetime i was going to be able to say that, but i'll have to tell my grandchildren, when daddy was growing up, the land was full of

white people. [laughter] what's that, daddy? they were like us but they were lighter. [laughter] now they only come out at night. like, because they gotta go. [laughter] greg: you know, you showed them a picture of tom. here is the whitest man on the planet. [laughter] there he is, tom. >> that's a long shot there. greg: all right, tom, i think biden really looks bad not because of the plagiarism, because of what he did with the hyde amendment. >> it's unbelievable! he's out in front right now, and he's leaving these guys in the dust, they're getting booed when they go in front of democrats, and alyssa milano got him to change his mind. he said forget what i've been saying for 40 years, i changed my mind. greg. gregg: greg yeah. i guess she's the boss. [laughter] [cheers and applause] that's a mercy clap.

[laughter] katie pavlich said something in the green room on "the five," she says why do you want to have moderate democrats if you can't let them be moderate9? like, if you're working for biden and he's not left wing enough, go work for another candidate. >> yeah, but they don't want him anymore. they have taken over the democratic party. they don't want guys like biden. i'm not sure he's as popular as he thinks he is, because they're polling the whole country, but he's going to have a lot of trouble. greg: yeah, i think he's toast. i don't think he wants them there. >> i agree. that's why he's been hiding joe biden. [applause] you don't have a good viable candidacy if the strategy is let's not go talk to people, and let's not do tv at all. his name id's up here. he saw john hickenlooper get booed, he was basically a

stand-in for biden. he wants to be a moderate democrat, but they are extinct in the modern party, can't be a moderate, so he's going to try to play like a leftist, and that's not going to work. greg: right now they're treating him like anthony perkins' mother in "psycho." [laughter] keep him in the attic, put a shawl over him -- [laughter] >> in my lifetime i'm watching to presentation of white -- the oppression of white men. [laughter] greg: that's the title of your documentary that you have to do for fox. it'll be number one. [laughter] >> follow him around. he's crazy. greg: all right. up next, looks like the clintons are going to hollywood. someone put a leash on bill. [laughter] [applause]

show. ♪ ♪ greg: since 2016 was no good, next stop, hollywood. hillary clinton is partnering up with the hacks of hollywood to launch a production company with her daughter chelsea. she's going to be making movies and tv shows. that's great, finally something to replace stabbing myself in the eye. [laughter] she a hollywood producer now? because she can tell a compelling story? or will this just be another way to air her grievances bestowed on her by a low call fan -- loyal fan base? lucky for us, we got a sneak peek at some of the upcoming titles. her first film, e believe, is

how to lose an election -- [laughter] [cheers and applause] i'll watch that. she should watch that, actually. and, of course, mrs. clinton doesn't go to wisconsin. [laughter] [applause] a broad comedy called liar, liar. [laughter] and, of course, a thriller, bill. [laughter] [applause] you'll never go in the water again. for a variety of reasons we can't get into because god knows what he's doing in out, tom, god knows. are you excited about this. >> oh, yeah, i can't wait. female-centric entertainment. that's what they said hillary's shingle was going to focus on. we don't have that now? every movie is a chick flick at this point. there's too much female-centric entertainment. i'm a little bit sick of it. greg: really? >> female-centric bear townment? >> i don't know, like that bin

laden movie, one red-headed woman caught him? i'm not sure i believe all this. [laughter] but the thing is they all have -- >> it is relevant that her hair was red. [laughter] >> the but obama's got a production if company, hillary has, and they're trying to bring a different perspective to hollywood, but hollywood's perspective is obama's, it is -- if you want to look at a production company that does films like the clintons and the obamas, the weinstein company? [laughter] greg: an old friend. an old friend. tyrus, you do a lot of movies. what do you think? i would never get a job in hollywood after -- mitt romney would never get a job, anybody who -- >> well, hold on, greg. you're looking at this from the wrong thing. greg: okay. >> first of all, i would just like to say women-centric in movies, i think, is phenomenal. we need more of it, i'm cool with it. [laughter] sorry, tom, but tough women are

cool. greg: can i just interject? i agree with you, but we can't lower the standards for them, agree? >> i mean, i think we already did. [laughter] greg: back to you, tyrus. >> see what happens? you throw one in, and the guy doesn't want to swim. [laughter] the point is this isn't about movies. greg: yeah. >> see, ever since the election didn't quite go so well and those fundraising events aren't quite drawing the dollar they used to, it used to be half a mil for an evening with clinton, now it's we'll give you $17 and this free hat. [applause] so good way to make some tax-free income and move some money around. i mean, in my neighborhood we call it money laundering, but that's what a production company is. drug dealers have rap studios. [laughter] politicians in trouble, they have production companies. [laughter] greg: that is so true. [applause] i believe it. i believe it. what do you think? >> there's a couple other

titles. you could say she was in therapy, you know, bathtub servers, dos and don'ts. [laughter] that could be one. things like that. she's got options. greg: how about raiders of the lost server? >> deep woods survival, you know? things like that. there's no constituency for hillary clinton or bill clinton. they're undoing any legacy they ever had. they've run away from those clinton the years complete hi. >> here's one, the hill has eyes. [laughter] >> she does. greg: she does. >> she's not the only one, the obamas are doing this too. greg: i know. >> michelle obama's going to do a learn about -- teach preschoolers about vegetables around the world. >> that strikes me as very important. greg: well, you know, i'm pro-vegetable. >> are you? greg: no. [laughter] kat, do you think this is something that hillary -- ooh, chelsea.

we're leaving chelsea out of this. has she ever had to try hard for a job? never. >> no, she hasn't. greg: has she interviewed for a job? >> i think that we're getting ahead of ourselves there because just because you start a company doesn't mean it works. and i know that from experience. greg: i'm afraid to ask what company you started. >> dalmation detective agency when i was 7 years old. [laughter] i thought, kat, i want to be a detective someday. and then i thought, kat, why not today? [laughter] so i printed up a bunch of fliers with dalmations on them and put them around the neighborhood with the home phone number which my parents could have been upset about, but no one ever called. they took their murder-solving needs elsewhere. greg: you're solving crimes about dalmations? >> i just was really into dalmations at the same time. i was 7, i don't know, i was an idiot. everyone's an idiot when they're

7. >> write it up. you know, hillary's company could produce that. >> because it's woman-centric? >> yeah. [laughter] >> what you're missing though, tom, there may be a lot of women in movies, but once you reach of age, like, 25, they're like you're too old. it's like you're not even there. >> judi dench, i can't get enough of her. [laughter] >> let the record reflect i have no idea who that is. [laughter] >> i have no idea. >> dame judi dench! >> i'm still available to solve crimes! greg: yes, yes, all right. up next, why did the daily beast expose the identity of a private citizen? to win a pulitzer prize for to win a pulitzer prize for being when we started our business

we were paying an arm and a leg for postage. i remember setting up shipstation. one or two clicks and everything was up and running. i was printing out labels and saving money. shipstation saves us so much time. it makes it really easy and seamless. pick an order, print everything you need, slap the label onto the box, and it's ready to go. our costs for shipping were cut in half. just like that. shipstation. the #1 choice of online sellers. go to shipstation.com/tv and get 2 months free.

♪ ♪ greg: they blew the lid on a guy

in a vid. the daily beast are facing possible legal troubles for supposedly naming the guy they climb was behind a video of nancy pelosi looking drunk. the guy they did says he's not responsible for the video, and he's going to sue. thankfully, this outraged media members of all stripes, because journalists are supposed to hold the powerful accountable. creating and posting a parody video isn't a crime, thank god, because you should see the video i just posted. >> translator: we must remember that jesus loves us, but he loves the greg gutfeld show more. [laughter] we should all give thanks that we get to watch saturdays at 10 p.m. on fox news channel. [laughter] greg: that's not a parody, that's actually true. kat, i was a magazine editor, i never would have published a story like this because it seems

like you're galvanizing an entire engine of power. imagine, it's a political power to get some guy because you don't like him. >> i was actually impressed that this reporter was able to write this, given that he clearly never went to kindergarten. because if he did, you learn you're not supposed to tattle. greg: yes. [laughter] >> that's what -- this is exactly what tattling is, right? it's when you tell on someone just to get them in trouble and not because there's some overarching, greater good. he's just a professional tattle tale. so i think somebody should call him and let him know, and while they're at it, let him know you're not supposed to eat crayons. greg: or glue. >> tonight hit people. he missed out a lot of important things, so i'm a little impressed with his writing ability -- [laughter] but concerned about him in life. greg: does seem to me that a lot

of what's been called journalism is hunting down people and telling on them. >> not just that, if you don't twit it -- get it, you make it up. what he did to this guy, everyone has a right to put out a video. it wasn't even great. you saw it, it wasn't like, wow, that's riveting. slowing her voice down, made it sound drunk. oh, my god, hate crime. [laughter] but the fact that you had to put his name out knowing the environment that we live in. so here's the thing, if one of the crusader, super. [laughter] of wing guys -- super left-wing guys they see this thing, they're going to decide they're going to confront this guy and it goes wrong with. he should be responsible. greg: yeah. >> because he was so cool with putting it out there. that's not journalism. the one thing i'll give the president for, when he brought out fake news, everyone at first was like, oh!

there's a lot of fake news, man. [laughter] and irresponsible journalism. because it's no longer about the story, it's about money. we're talking about this guy like he did a great job. [applause] greg: yeah. >> he could probably get a job now, he's going to be going -- he can't have, i don't know what they because i don't pay any attention to them, the police -- >> the -- the p.c. police, thank you. greg: this guy was a forklift operator in the bronx. >> yes. and the one important detail you need to know about him, he was a trump supporter. that's why they hate this guy. and they said behind the scenes that they wanted to check it out, because they wanted to make sure it wasn't russia. [laughter] greg: yes. >> seriously. and this reporter got help from facebook. greg: right. >> facebook sent information

about posts this guy had posted before to add to dirt and pile on them. think about what you've posted or shared, and what they would do to you. they talked to his ex-wife or ex-spouse, probation, i mean, they just trash you so they can get a headline, and then they move on. greg: identify been trying to dos tom for ages. [laughter] i posted personal stuff online, and you're like, so what? >> that's what this guy would have been. the thing is, they made his video huge. it e went viral. it was in the corner of the internet, and they moved it to middle of the internet, and they all talk about this video as if it was anything, and it wasn't. did anyone see it organically? no. greg: that's true. >> now we have to find the guy who we just made famous, but we don't know who it is. >> ander cooper good -- anderson cooper got facebook on an interview and then grilled them. greg: up next.

researchers say dodgeball promotes bullying. [cheers and applause] the first survivor of alzheimer's disease is out there. and the alzheimer's association is going to make it happen. but we won't get there without you. visit alz.org to join the fight.

we like drip coffee, layovers- -and waiting on hold. what we don't like is relying on fancy technology for help. snail mail! we were invited to a y2k party... uh, didn't that happen, like, 20 years ago? oh, look, karolyn, we've got a mathematician on our hands! check it out! now you can schedule a callback or reschedule an appointment, even on nights and weekends. today's xfinity service. simple. easy. awesome. i'd rather not. audible members know listening has the power to change us make us better parents, better leaders, better people. and there's no better place to listen than audible.

with audible you get a credit good for any audiobook and exclusive fitness and wellness programs. and now, you'll also get two audible originals: titles exclusively produced for audible. automatically roll your credits over to the next month if you don't use them, and if you don't like a book just swap it for free. enjoy 100% ad free listening in the car, on your phone or any connected device. and when you switch a device pick up right where you left off. with our commitment free guarantee, there's never been a better time to start listening to audible. the most inspiring minds, the most compelling stories, the best place to listen. to start your free 30-day trial, text listen5 to 500500 today. ♪ ♪ ♪ greg: is this the decline and fall of only theball? that's right. dodgeball. we all played it in gym class.

you pick teams, you throw a ball at your opponent. if you hit 'em, they're out. if they catch it, you're out. well, that's how we did it. in first grade. anyway, researchers in canada -- a country -- now say dodgeball so pressive since the goal is to marginalize the weak with. fair point, but that's true of any sport you play as a kid. i know, i sucked at all of them. [laughter] which is why i quit sports and learned my life skills elsewhere, and your kids can too simply by ditching sports for better stuff. >> tired of having to do physical activity and want lesser intellect? is sick of getting picked last then getting blown away in the first 30 seconds of dodgeball? those days are over thanks to greg gutfeld school for kids who suck at dodgeball and every

other sport. quit all sports immediately, that way you can start pursuing things to be rich, stuff like mergers and acquisition, electronic defense contracting, commercial real estate development, transportation logistics, aerospace engineering. no limit texas hold 'em, blackjack and loansharking. >> wow, that's i awesome! >> that's right, kids. if you're never going to be starting quarterback, start learning math and beat him to it. it's the school for kids who suck at dodgeball and most other sports! [applause] greg: tyrus, i know you're going to disagree with me, but that video is, in my mind, the absolute truth. if you know at an early age that sports is not for you, screw it. get out, learn a musical instrument, start reading, do something! [cheers and applause] but don't, don't be a pawn, don't be a pawn for another player. don't be a nonplayer character for one guy in your

neighborhood. anyway -- >> you done? greg: yeah. [laughter] >> it's dodgeball. greg: i'm for dodgeball. i'm guest baseball, football, basketball. >> first of all, why? greg: because organized sports are evil! [laughter] >> not much clapping there. greg: no clapping. >> well, the next time the super bowl comes on, everybody wants to go in and watch somebody trade stocks, please, go -- [laughter] first of all, the study's from canada. greg: yes. >> canada. greg: i know, i know. [laughter] a great country! >> that should have been the end of it. greg: great country. >> canada, we have a story -- click. jackie gleason, he was buford t. justice, he has a great line, what is the world coming to? [laughter] to where somebody thought more than eight seconds about dodgeball.

it's oppressive. greg: yeah. >> so the conversation when you're losing, but everything's oppressive if you're not getting advantaged by it. greg: that's true. >> sitting in the last row is oppressive. [laughter] having to look at everybody who was here before you? everybody's got a better view than you? i mean, we should outlaw chairs as we know it, it's not fair. you can make this argument about anything. [laughter] [applause] greg: i am actually, i'm pro-dodgeball, pro-playground games, kat, because everybody can play. but let's take baseball minor leagues. 300 players, but only -- even the players there that are getting paid, no, they're just there for one star on their team. they are nonplayer characters like in a video game. kind of weird, don't you think? >> yeah. i loved dodgeball as a kid, not because i was good at it, but because i would get hit almost immediately, and then i would

sit down. i'd be like, dodgeball, yes! hit me! [laughter] i think we have to be careful, because i totally agree we tyrus that all games could be seen as offensive, right? musical chairs? not includes i. inclusive. [laughter] hide and seek and tag? encourage unhealthy stalking behaviors. [laughter] simon says, why do i have to do what some man tells me to do? why isn't it sarah says? i can go on and on. but instead, i agree, people should think about anything else in the world. greg: it should be not gender-specific. >> greg, here's where you're wrong about the sports. they made you the man you are today. all that time out in right field got you thinking. it doesn't have to be good that if you are not good at sports, it makes you plot to do other things. so all our time in right field really paid off. greg: process of elimination, you're saying. >> yes. greg: i suck at this.

then why did i do it for eight years? i played little league if right field for eight freaking years lam laugh. >> you never gave up, and you kept coming back, and it turned into other things. that's why sports matter. greg: the uniforms smelled, you had to wear a cup. i mean -- >> stop. you were 8 years old, you wore a cup? [laughter] greg: sometimes when i wasn't playing. [laughter] >> no, my kid's 8, he came home with a cup, and i was like, what have you got a cup for? anyway, whatever. the wussification of america -- greg: oh, finally, you used that word. >> you know it's gotta be there. listen, dodgeball is the greatest game ever invented. the whole point is to marginalize the weak, which we all enjoy. >> then they get to sit down! they win! >> you get to fight each other -- which is the point of -- sports is a fantastic vehicle for life. greg: you know what's a

fantastic vehicle for life? learning how to invest and then making a lot of money so you can hire the people that beat you in dodgeball to mow your lawn! [cheers and applause] all right. on that note, the gutfeld monologues live comes to jersey shore next month, saturday, july 20th. tom's going to be there. for ticket information -- stay right there, final

>> final thoughts. it's the last thought, that's why it's called the final thoughts, okay? greg: kat, and tyrus, you have one final thought -- >> yes, we do. >> tell 'em, sister. >> june 27th, that's a thursday. of we will be at caroline's on broadway. do you have your tickets yet? no? what are you doing with your life? get your tickets. it's gonna be great! >> or she's going to do stuff to

you. [cheers and applause] greg: thank you, pete! thank you, tom! thank you, kat. tyrus! studio audience. i'm greg next, he will give you the news here on the fox news channel. >> president trump and negotiators have struck a deal over terrorist on mexican imports that were scheduled to go into effect monday. this is to stop the flow of asylum-seekers crossing the border into the u.s. good evening i'm jon scott, this is the fox report. they release new details on the steps mexico will take including the deployment of the mexican national guard and a crackdown on human traffickers, the agreement refuses a showdown between the president and senate republicans who largely opposed the tariffs idea but lawmakers say this is just the first step toward fixing the crisis of the