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tv   The Greg Gutfeld Show  FOX News  June 22, 2019 7:00pm-8:00pm PDT

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follow me on instagram and twitter, i'm jeanine pirro, see you next saturday night. >> looks like a tired crazy right now and joe biden, he looks like he's just exhausted. i don't know what happened to him but he looks exhausted. he doesn't do any work. >> quinnipiac says sanders, biden, warren, pete buttigieg will beat you? >> they had me losing texas to pocahontas, i'm not losing texas to anybody? >> so much fun to read it in spanish. [laughter] [cheers and applause]
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>> his name is george washington. >> george is at 100% is no way i'm going to get there no matter what i tell you. >> oh, man, what about the wall? is it moving along?
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>> the wall is moving along, it's moving along rapidly. it's beautiful, stronger, bigger, better and cheaper, sometimes when they don't give you the money, you to make it cheaper. >> it's true, do we have to pay? >> you pay for the very distinct privilege of not having to pay, but you had to pay a lot. now you don't have to pay anymore. >> i have no idea what that meant. [laughter] >> but i ask, do you need a magic wand? >> you need a magic wand to bring back manufacturing, well, we will tell sleepy joe that we found the magic wand. >> at least he has brilliant talented campaign people. >> we have a lot of brilliant brilliant-talent campaign people, they cost a fortune and they never give me any ideas, i'm only kidding. >> you know he's not kidding, it makes you wonder what country you're in.
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>> maga, maga, we are in maga country i can tell you. >> i can tell you maga is no longer the motto, it's keep america great. see the first motto maga said it's time for a change, the new one says let's preserve what we've changed. i can't wait to see the slogan for his third term. [laughter] [applause] >> anyway, that's impossible, people, it's impossible. but as he throws his first political tailgate the orlando paper pulled first two and antiendorsement of trump even before the dems have a nominee, meaning they hate trump so much the dems could not nominate a zombie raccoon and go with zombie raccoon, but enough of
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bernie sanders, i still think it's infantile much like cnn after being insulted at the rally actually shut their coverage down, proving how emotional they really are, i'm surprise they didn't say say i hate all of you and ran upstairs and closed the door sobbing into a pillow, at least they provided coverage for creepy stuff. >> the academic definition of concentration camps are targeting a community and putting them in detention camps without a trial. that's what the trump administration is doing. >> and the genocide of the jews, yes. >> so as one side celebrates a country, the other floats in an
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impervious idiotic bubble insulting holocaust victims and justifying with lame semantics, again, the contrast, this is trump. [laughter] [cheers and applause] >> crazy group and this is the critics. [laughter] >> you can do it. now, i'm bad at predicting things but the side having most fun usually win, on the republican side it's fun and on the democrats it's a funk, deep small smelly bottom of the hamper funk, you know where the socks have gone stiff. every candidate staking out the gloomiest vision of the country,
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thank heaven trump will be live-tweeting the debate. how often is that? people won't be watching the debates, they'll be watching him watching debates. if someone can make amy klobuchar interesting it's trump and his tweet machine. [laughter] hard to see how special it is when you're in it, one of those times that can be revealed back at it decades from now. lucky for you i took the time machine in the future and found the perfect product. >> i own tom, do you forget in just a few minutes, well, i'm thrilled to share with you a collection of no other. >> i won't talk about jeb bush,
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i will not say, i will not say he's low energy, i will not say it. i will not say it. >> now for the first time ever unforgettable trump hits are together in one must-have selection. star unicorn entertainment and greg present the best of trump. >> we will build the wall. and who is going to pay for the wall? >> before we go any further i'd like to introduce my cohost kat kemf. >> you might recognize with titanic 17, jack's revenge, but today i'm excited to look back on the voice that defined an era. >> donald supported the invasion of iraq. >> wrong. >> that's absolutely proved over and over again. >> wrong. >> he actually- >> the best of trump is great so when you want to have friends over.
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>> like me if you don't have friends. >> i'm officially running for president of the united states and we are going to make our country great again. >> this collection brings back so many memories like before my wife left me for geraldo. >> that's right, tom, with more than 47,000 hours of content you'll be transported back to all the most iconic moments, untold. >> let me run the country and you run cnn and if you did it well your ratings -- >> before if you wanted this much trump, you'd have to watch the news 24/7 and ignore your family completely. >> don't i know it, kat. my son still won't talk to me but now i can get the greatest trump moments all in one place, whenever i want i can see classics like get him out of here. >> get him out of here, please, get him out, out. out, go home to mommy.
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>> how was your nap, kat? >> great, tom. every clip tells a great story. >> that's right. who could forget bing, bing, bong, bing, bing. >> bing, bing, bong, bong, you know what that is? >> you won't find this collection on cnn? >> you're telling me, do you remember where's nick? >> nick, stand up. [applause] >> come here. >> get up here, nick. >> order trump hits today, call any time within the next 4 years and you'll limited edition lock of the president's hair, no additional charge. trump hits. [cheers and applause] >> welcome tonight's guest, has more guts than belly contest, technician staff sergeant joye
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joe. his comedy special i've got the house now streaming everywhere, jim florentine. [cheers and applause] >> her glasses are thick but part of her stick, kat tempf. >> he's a shoplifter he can actually lift an entire shop, sidekick and host of enough said, tyrus. [cheers and applause] >> joe, what do you make of the campaign kickoff? >> well, i love the video, by the way. cat jumping. >> stop, stop. >> he's cool with it. [laughter] >> i'm a bit of one-trick pony over here.
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[laughter] >> listen, arguing with holocaust survivors over the definition of trancation camp, if i've reached that level of my political career, put a fork with me, i'm done, that level of stupidity doesn't have any place for american politics which leads me to believe the conspiracy theorist. anyway. [laughter] >> shall i stop there? >> yeah. >> i'm going to get mad. >> what did you make of the week so far? >> i thought he was great and got criticism because he was complaining the first hour, he has every right to complain. they've been on him, democrats won't work with them, mueller report hanging over his head, media against him, media is like a nagging wife, they pick at him. look at the way he yawn, can you believe it. >> like a man who just got divorced.
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>> exactly. [laughter] >> that's why my comedy special i got the house. >> did you get the house? >> yeah. >> was it a nice house? >> yeah. just call me petey prenup. the guy is an animal. [cheers and applause] >> i kind of want you to get the movie that you said you were in which you said was was titanic 14? >> 17, jack's revenge. i've been writing it, yes. >> you make an excellent elderly kat tempf. >> thank you. >> i want to go back to what you were talking about aoc and concentration camp thing, that was so stupid i was trying to think of what it was like so i wrote a bunch of analogies and i
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couldn't find which one was best so i will saying all. that's like saying cold having a cancer and phone dying is like your mom dying, that's like saying that wearing a tie that's too tight is like being beheaded, that's like saying that eating hot soup and having it burn your mouth is like being burned alive while eating hot soup. >> interesting. >> and that's like saying breaking a fingernail is as bad as having a nail in your finger. [laughter] [cheers and applause] >> i don't know -- i didn't know which one to pick so they all made the air. >> yes, tyrus. >> i think that's accurate because there were no one-sentence to describe the moronicness of what she said. >> right. >> somebody breaks into your house, trips and false and
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breaks their neck and you go to jail for murder because that's kind of the same thing. [applause] >> trump had a big week, kicked it off and we didn't see any democrats again, like it was once he got on the news, the only thing we had going on was they are really mad at joe biden for telling how it is. >> yeah. >> cory booker was mad at joe because joe told the truth of actually happened in historic event, not something he made up on twitter. cory booker is funny to me, i'm all for civil rights and fighting for our stuff but going after joe biden, he led the legislation, everybody know that lynch mob is a crime. it's officially a crime. [laughter] >> yeah. >> like we didn't already know that if you form a lynch mob you're going to jail. thank you, corey.
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>> you're prefacing the next segment, we will talk about that, all right, you want to story from joe biden, well, you're not going get one, that's next. ♪ limu emu & doug what do all these people have in common, limu? [ paper rustling ] exactly, nothing. they're completely different people, that's why they need customized car insurance from liberty mutual. they'll only pay for what they need! [ gargling ] [ coins hitting the desk ] yes, and they could save a ton. you've done it again, limu. only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪
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>> now the greg gutfeld show presents the 2020 camp today. [cheers and applause] >> it's a civil war over being civil at fundraiser this week. joe biden was talking about the importance of working together even with people you disagree like bigots who were also democrats because that's what you did back then, that didn't go over well. >> the reputation of segregation of people if they had their way i would not be standing here as member of the united states senate is i think it's misinformed and it's wrong. >> i know that i was raised to speak truth to power and that i should never apology for doing that and vice president shouldn't need this lesson. >> thank you, sparticus. >> of course, asked joe biden to apologize.
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>> apologize for what? he knows better. i'm -- there's no racist bone in my body. >> it's now how you do it. >> period. >> but then congressman john lewis vouched for biden. >> we worked with people that were members of the klan, people who opposed us. >> do the other candidates think he's a racist, probably not, are they trying to knock biden out the top? >> of course.
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they don't care, will someone bring up on debate stage next week, we will see. should i stop asking and answering my own questions? [cheers and applause] [applause] >> we are talking about this at the end, let's continue, do you feel any sympathy for joe? >> no. there's no reason to feel sympathy, he was telling something that actually happened. there was a time in this country that we had to work with certain individuals who prefer me serving drinks and not being on camera, that's a part of our history, ughy, or whatever, his whole point was he worked for common good and passed legislation to stop those types of beliefs because he had to work with them, find a way, so people who are legit joe crowe t-shirt rocking racist who are
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proud to stick it out, he can work with them. exact opposite of what he believes, joe has been a good dude when it comes to respecting different races. >> except for indians at 7eleven. >> yeah. >> it is a different story. >> it is a different story. >> the point is he can work with those people on those types of situations and we live in a world today that nobody can work together and it's not even that. there's not. >> there's no issue between the two sides that something is polarizing as civil rights and they found a way but we can't find a way and that's pathetic. >> yeah, what do you make of this -- [cheers and applause] >> they are going to eat him alive, aren't they? >> the mainstream media is starting to turn on him and keep attack.
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now, what was that 3 weeks ago. [laughter] >> i love it. >> flip-flopping, fumbling. he's almost like willy maize when he played for the mets. >> yes, yes. >> when he played the chiefs. >> i did a sports analogy. [cheers and applause] >> do you see him making it to the nomination? >> i don't know, i don't know, i'm not a fortune teller, i just think it's so interesting that they are attacking each other so much especially when people like bill de blasio attack him u who
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is that for, it's not going to help him win the nomination, it's probably just going to help trump eventually win, because they are going to have to attack each other, it's like if you're a boxer, i'm going to do a sports analogy too. >> yeah. >> you have to box 20-something people before get to go final match and the other dudes have been chilling, it'll be a lot harder and that's exactly what they are doing. >> that's an interesting boxing metaphor. [cheers and applause] >> last word to you. >> i mean, biden would have the opportunity to be the trump of the democrats, right, apologize for what, i'm not sorry, i'm already there and the problem is he's been around for too long. >> yeah. >> the good-ole boy, come on, man. huge.
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>> he did this to mitt romney when he said mitt romney will put you all the chains. i feel bad for the guy but at the same time it's like you got in bed with the smear machine and now the smear machine is screwing you. >> yeah. [cheers and applause] >> all right, up next, pretty good team, right? (vo) the insurance institute for highway safety rates vehicles for safety, and some reach a level of top safety pick. but only a select few of the very safest vehicles are awarded
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a top safety pick plus. the highest level of safety possible. how many 2019 top safety pick plus-winning vehicles does your brand have? one. two. how about eight? subaru has more 2019 top safety pick plus awards than honda and toyota brands combined. there's safe, and then there's subaru safe. this is jamie. you're going to be seeing a lot more of him now. -i'm not calling him "dad." -oh, n-no. -look, [sighs] i get it. some new guy comes in helping your mom bundle and save with progressive, but hey, we're all in this together. right, champ? -i'm getting more nuggets.
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-how about some carrots? you don't want to ruin your dinner. -you're not my dad! -that's fair. overstepped.
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>> live from america's news headquarters new york, 11 people are dead after a sky diving plane crashes shortly after takeoff in hawaii. it happened near dellingham airfield, an eyewitness says plane was flying at low altitude, skims trees and burst into flames near the airport's perimeter fence, no survivors, federal investigators on the scene right now trying to figure out what caused the crash, while president trump is delaying immigration raids for 2 weeks after a telephone call from house speaker nancy pelosi requesting that delay, on sunday ice agents were going to start to arrest and deport immigrant families in 10 cities, the plan
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criticized as heartless by immigration activists and the city's mayors, i'm aisha now back to greg gutfeld show
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>> yes,. [cheers and applause] >> maybe a french horn, yes. [cheers and applause] >> how do you like that growing out of your skull. perhaps this horn. [laughter] >> you really think the music makes it pleasurable, that's why i have it playing in my spa. all right, i don't know what i meant there. the study could be full of crap because some magazine is debunking saying it has more to do with poster but i don't care that it's false because i like the story. >> i like it too. >> i'm in heavy metal music, the devil's music, i've worn horns for years. it's kind of nerdy that i will get it from my iphone 8 horns. >> yeah.
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>> i much rather get it from the lust greeting -- [laughter] >> that's way cooler. >> and pornography is offering you the ability to satisfy your needs without the messiness of human contact, we are turning into cyber lords. >> that's okay. i saw the horn story and should have been concerned seeing as i stair -- stare at my phone literally all day long, if they are real, i definitely have the horns and i don't care because what else am i supposed to look at that, like the world around me? barf. >> you can't see your own horns. >> i don't understand the downside of being on the phone all of the time because phones are much more interesting than most people except, except for
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maybe one. >> who? >> no, one downside. >> okay. [laughter] >> it would make me very easy to kidnap, i wouldn't realize it's happening, i would look 3 days later and say, wait, whose dungeon is this? >> keep texts. keep texting her, who is this, i want to know who you are. [laughter] >> that would be great. >> so joe, would you mind having some horns? >> listen, what i read the headline, when they started doing scientific studies? [laughter] >> listen, humans are the only ones that adapt to our environment, we wear jackets instead of growing fur, it's
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true that we are wearing our pinky toe because we wear shows. >> my pinky toe is just stupid. right, you look at pinky toe and it's like why. >> mine is the out of rubber. [laughter] >> i'm complaining to joey that i don't like my pinky toe. >> my pinky toe. [laughter] >> so when i saw this i thought they meant having your phone up there with bone spur, how did people read books for 2,000 years, i don't know. >> i think this is not entirely true, tyrus, however, the greater idea that the human, the human mind or the human body is in community own with technology, we are producing offspring that's commingling of electronic, of computers and humans.
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>> right. [laughter] >> i did not drop acid. >> good science story and i'm all for evolution but this doesn't make sense. it's in the back. it's only pushing this way. if your little theory, wouldn't it be a phone holder. [laughter] >> that would be like, wow, kat can have more free time with her other hand to drink while she texts. it's all about the headlines, the hell with the facts of the story, one kid has bad posture and apparently -- stuff growing off the back of his neck and the best thing parents cocome up with is bone. >> it's like, you know, when they would tell you that you would go blind when you --
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[laughter] >> i didn't have to finish the line. up next what an embarrassing slogan on plastic bag get you to stop using them, yeah, me neither.
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an increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor about an infection or symptoms. if your inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen, or if you've had a vaccine or plan to. serious allergic reactions may occur. i got real relief. i got clearer skin and feel better. now, watch me. get real relief with cosentyx. >> the stupid nags want your plastic bags, a grocery store in vancouver, they have them there, has introduced plastic bags with embarrassing logos to shame customers into bringing their own reusable ones. the bags make it look like the items come from places like the colon care coopt and into the weird adult video.
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[cheers and applause] >> popular. so these are supposed to be embarrassing, colon care, ointment and porn, that's my wednesday. yeah. [cheers and applause] >> especially in the summer with the extra hours, now, stores in vancouver are required by law to come up with plants to reduce plastic bags, but people think these bags are funny so they want to use them. [cheers and applause] >> so here is what -- what you have to do, vancouver, just say what's actually inside the bag and you're good to go, cheap wine can make your pain go away until your dorce i finalized, she's taking me for everything, or assorted lunch meats for my stupid brat, they make my life
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hell but i still have to feed them. he smells like vinegar and never slips fly all the top. stuff for the itching and the burning, mostly the itching and sometimes for the burning too. all right, kat, would these bags shame you? >> no. [laughter] >> no. i want all of these bags. [laughter] >> who wants a bag that just says cvs? i thrive and survive on attention and that could be very exhausting not only for me but for all of those around me. puts a strain on the relationship and you're telling me if i go to vancouver and i don't bring the bag i don't have to do anything for attention, i
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can just carry it around and people will look at me, i never have to eat soup on instagram live again. [cheers and applause] >> i like these bags because it's kind of like, if you're sitting on a bus it's a way to keep somebody away from you, right? >> that's a good idea. look, i would collect them like art. i have two, i have her piece bag. [laughter] >> i'm missing the audi bag. why does every cashier put one item in each bag. >> yes. [applause] >> that is so true, i end up with 12 bags and i bought 11 items, tyrus. >> we are missing the point here, this is more of the stores and the companies that are so full of crap when it comes to they care about the environment, they are trying to turn a buck,
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they are trying to make you buy the stupid reusable bag that is you keep having to buy. they cared so much about the environment, they wouldn't have plastic bags there. if they don't do that. >> everything in their stores joey -- >> sorry u do you want to donate to such and such, if you say no, everyone looks at you because the button beeps louder. same with the bag, 12 bucks for a bag that looks this horrible. >> if you don't clean the bag, joey, people are getting sick from reusable bag because aren't cleaning them. if you buy vegetables, i don't. [laughter] >> i don't know. i eat all my food raw and i've never gotten sick. >> really? >> i do kill my own animal.
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>> good of you. >> i love to kill animals. >> no, everybody thinks the food at the store wasn't killed. >> yeah, yeah. >> it grew that way in plastic. but the thing about the bags, perfect example from canada and the united states, some canadian store, came up with these, what they underestimated were the thousands of american who is will fly a thousand miles putting carbon into the atmosphere to do instagram story holding one of the bags in vancouver. >> exactly. think about this, what about all the aging celebrities with plastic surgery, will they have to have little insulting stains on their face, i don't know what it means. >> no, the surgery itself is insulting when the human duck walks up to you and says remember me. [laughter] >> all right.
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it's true. >> up next oj is on twitter and other things i never thought i'd hear myself say.
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oj is on twitter and he sounds bitter, launched twitter account this week with pretty ominous message after a very friendly greeting, hey, twitter world. >> hey, twitter, this is yours truly, coming soon to twitter you will get to read my thoughts and opinions just about everything. hey, twitter world, for years people have been able to say whatever they want to say about me with no accountability, but now i get to challenge a lot of that bs, this should be a lot of fun, god bless. [laughter] >> and god is like don't drag me into this, oj. you think people would accuse double murder on there and close out account in protest, there's so many other worthwhile things to do with your time, i'd rather
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be doing this. yeah. that did not go over well, what a mess. >> i think this is a bad idea, short temper and social media is a more concentrated version of real-life hostilities, i don't think his short fuse and twitter is a good mix. >> when he said i got each with people, i immediately deleted all my oj jokes. [laughter] >> he has the time now. >> he does. he says i want to set the record straight, nothing about the murder setting record straight. listen look, listen, i didn't sleep with kris jenner. >> not the double murder. >> a rumor that you should keep floating out there, kris jenner. i wouldn't acknowledge that. >> that bothered him.
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>> that bothered him. >> what do you make of this? should this drive people off twitter? [laughter] >> can i get a close-up? >> yes. >> oj, go away. you went to jail for 20 years for taking your own stuff back. you didn't get the hint. is there any lawyers that are still alive and can say, don't talk, go away. bye. >> you know joey, this is going -- people are going to love tweeting at him just to get him mad. >> yeah, it's already there. they'll go look at comments under all tweets. it's a rabbit hole that you'll go down for a long time, what devastates me about this is
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twitters is 20 years too late. what if we had twitter when he was in the bronco, hey, twitter world, it isn't me in the bronco, i'm not driving and i'm just riding along. the legal record says he's innocent. what is he setting it straight for? >> yeah. kat, what if he starts following you? >> i don't know, greg, i ate a lot of rice pudding today. i mean, like a lot of rice pudding. >> who does that? >> apparently me, i'm talking multiple servings of rice pudding where it didn't make me feel bad physically but made me feel bad emotionally, like, really, ka, the, you will eat all the rice pudding, how did you think you were going to feel good after that and i didn't really feel like, you know, i ate so much pudding i didn't feel like coming out here. what are these people going to care what i have to say when i can't control myself around ice
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pudding, you know who doesn't feel that way, oj. >> i was trying to figure out where this was going to come, how tie that to rice pudding -- >> it was an alarming of rice pudding and i'm having a hard time thinking about anything else so the rice pudding was going to come into the show at some point. >> i'm glad it was in the oj segment. >> juice does go with rice pudding. >> all right, don't forget -- don't forget i'm bringing the gutfeld monologue live to jersey shore saturday july 20th, new jersey, get your tickets, ggutfeld.com, final thoughts i thoap the lexus es... ♪ ...every curve, every innovation, every feeling... ...a product of mastery. lease the 2019 es 350 for $379/month for 36 months.
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let's see, aleve is than tylenol extra strength. and last longer with fewer pills. so why am i still thinking about this? i'll take aleve. aleve. proven better on pain.
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>> i run a veterans transition program, camp, it's a week long. post911 veteran, if you want to go through a week with me and transition, go find a job. >> that's great. [cheers and applause] >> and jimmy. >> i'll be in dallas, texas next week at hyenas comedy club. [laughter] [applause] >> hyenas. all right, kat, what you've got? >> thursday june 27th at caroline broadway in new york city, tyrus and me will be there doing live show, it's going to be fun, please come, it really was so much fun. >> yeah. all right. you and tyrus together. you have to go. >> get tickets. >> get tickets, thanks, joey, thanks, kat, tyrus.
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>> i'm greg gutfeld, i love you, america. [cheers and applause] [♪] jesse: welcome to. "watters' world," i'm jesse watters. president trump kicking off his 2020 reelection bid in orlando. the central theme was restoring power to the people. here is how the president framed it. president trump: together we stared down a corrupted, broken political establishment and restored government of, by and for the people. we did not merely transfer power from one party to another, but we transferred power back to you the proud citizens of the united

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