a dream but not tonight. >> that's my dream, to. [applause] [cheering] what a terrible week to be a normal democrat. [laughter] you have 20 choices and none of them make any sense. they are either crazy or boring. that is no way to go through life. first crazy, steaming hot bag of it. [laughter] [speaking in spanish]

>> the equality act. >> change array 20th, say adios to donald trump. >> i don't think so. upset, at least the country professionals are breathing a sigh of grief we have them all in one place. [laughter] my favorite not cake, this beautiful not cake. >> prime minister, humble, it's the best place in the world for a child to grow up. the u.s. is going to be the best

place in the world. one of my first phone calls, we will say we are back, mr. president, if you're listening. hear me please. only love can cast that up. so i have a feeling you know what you're doing. i'm going to harness love for political purposes. >> she is captivating. [laughter] i think she might hold you captive. [laughter] she's like the older suspect from a 1989 episode. celebrity psychic who may have killed her young. the title of the episode, game,, murder. [laughter] but i love her. every time she talked, i felt

like i was bathing in warm crazy. [laughter] loud crazy, unlike this fellow. >> we will have medicare for a all, tens of millions of people stand off and count the insurance policies and companies that their day is gone. >> he's a crook. the guys demanding more salad. [laughter] but biden didn't fare well either. >> i agree everybody once a transition, my time is up. i'm sorry. [laughter] [applause] >> you don't want to say when your time is up. [laughter] you might as well say hey, can i go home now? he had one great moment, which we played on a loop for your enjoyment. i love this.

this is good. [laughter] it's like someone actually invaded his space for once. [laughter] >> i'd vote for him just for that look. >> corey got the most airtime and he stunk. the lesson like children, seen and not heard because it's always crazy. but when they were not nuts, they were born. first debate about energy of competitive gardening. [laughter] slew of cloned robots trying their best to appear human. they kept asking people to raise their hands like this. who wash your hands after using the restroom? [laughter] how boring was wednesday? on a scale from one being soccer to ten being soccer, wednesday

was an 11. who do you blame? trump. simply by existing, trump made politicians painfully predictable. trump remade politics by not being a politician. which is why is batch, they all sound alike. there are too many of them. they are reproducing like gremlins. it's hard to keep track. if only there were a drug. ♪ terrible. too many candidates and they all sound the same. >> you again. another one of those crazy drugs? >> not at all. i'm trying to open your mind. all natural and from the earth. what you say? you shot? >> all right, how's it work?

>> revolutionary new drug -- >> you just said it wasn't a drug. >> too late now, we are already in the animation part. it takes the genetic code of all the democratic candidates into a single pill. instead of hearing 23 people, it's a single voice that sums up in a few seconds. [laughter] >> so pathetic. but also worse. >> yep, that's the idea. now i know why it can't out for these people. thanks. >> just don't take it a second time. >> why? what happens? >> times. into the very thin shell of atmosphere surrounding our planets. as if it's an open sewer. [laughter] >> all right, i won't take it a second time. thanks for the warning. [cheering and applauding] >> let's welcome tonight's guests. he banged out more than an auto

body shop. the channel of peace. it sounds nice. actor daniel. [cheering and applauding] flatter than candace. [applause] deeper than her voice. here is cap. [cheering] he needs to get his heads out of the clouds. [cheering] dan, you watched these debates, right? >> no. [laughter] payment-an actor for 45 years, you don't watch the rehearsal. no, he watch the show. i'll watch when i put in the lead actress. >> what did you think of the clips? >> the clips are extraordinarily

entertaining. i just don't think it's the show yet. we're like in pokey g. when it comes to washington, then you watch the show. that is my feeling. >> i disagree. morgan williamson is not the next president? [laughter] >> i would thank you are a guy who loves love, a unicorn. you should be in love with her. perfect for you. >> sometimes i've even paid for it. [laughter] that came out wrong. >> we've all paid for it in some way. >> that's true. [laughter] i just spit on myself. pick whoever you want to talk about. >> oh boy. the entire field was kind of bunkers. whole life to the 2016 for the democrats is like hey, we didn't connect with the working people, regular folks in america.

so now, we just need a bunch of communists. [laughter] total insanity. the debate started, marian was like who is this wacko? she had some better points. [laughter] i liked the idea of her being president. the department of chakras. [laughter] i think it's fun. >> we begin with bombing crystals. [laughter] >> with the tarot cards. what we do here? >> demands to know everybody's signs. i think you are with me on williamson. >> oh yeah, what's your plan for this? she's like, love. [laughter] the plan is love.

which sounds so nice. i really wish that were the case. the harder you loved, the better things would work out for you. but for me, it hasn't really been that way. [laughter] i've never really loved so hard, it worked out. it's like i love really hard, and he's like what are you doing outside my window? i broke up with you for months ago. anyway. [laughter] >> a picture of her, she looks like to me, a slightly unhinged jaclyn smith from the charlie's angels era. which by the way, is amazing, amazing. do you feel the love? >> no, i'm not much for love. [laughter] love teams to be expensive in court. i tried to avoid it as much as possible. i also never paid for love. [laughter] i rather pay for a truck to run me over. having said that, she was amazing.

good for her. it's not every day someone tells new zealand, you're not with children on my watch. [laughter] she gave him a shout out and then threatened him. [laughter] like i was concerned she was going to attack the children in new zealand? she took a page out of trump's book. president trump, he's so great, mike, he went from wrestling. guys who taught him how to make your.back. the only thing she missed, you have to use actual words. [laughter] she was just rhyming sounds. >> she was casting spells. [laughter] >> she was owning the night. what you going to do trump? what you gonna do?

you think better was dear white joe. [laughter] he gave mr. president, i don't know if you're watching but here's your slogan, your time is up. [laughter] matter what now. [laughter] no matter what. >> it's almost like he said mike uber is here. >> here's my computer history, america. enjoy yourself. >> swallow is the guy, if you've ever worked and had to go to a human resources meeting, it's like your 4o1k or sexual harassment, he's a coworker who things by telling humorous jokes or whatever, everybody likes it but he makes the meeting longer. >> he's arty in congress. >> yes.

>> what district is that? is that like the children of the corn district? [laughter] whose voting for him? >> i don't know but they are great. i hope he stays. before we got to break, new information. next show, july 20. it's in new jersey. they are not to new dates, september 14 in orlando. that's florida. september 15 in atlanta. tickets now on sale. for all shirts. up next, trump controls his critics. we love every minute. [cheering] we just spend all day telling everyone how we customize car insurance because no two people are alike, so... limu gets a little confused when he sees another bird that looks exactly like him. ya... he'll figure it out.

only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪

we were paying an arm and a leg for postage. i remember setting up shipstation. one or two clicks and everything was up and running. i was printing out labels and saving money. shipstation saves us so much time. it makes it really easy and seamless. pick an order, print everything you need, slap the label onto the box, and it's ready to go. our costs for shipping were cut in half. just like that. shipstation. the #1 choice of online sellers. go to shipstation.com/try and get 2 months free.

you know you one when you're having more fun, truck must be feeling pretty good about his reelection chances right now. we going to win a lot of things? >> we are going to win a lot of things that people have no idea. >> so he's having fun. trump critics are so miserable they starting to think he will never leave the white house. >> if he loses, he woke up. i've been saying that since before he got elected.

>> that is the opposite of fun. that guy used to tell jokes for a living. [laughter] on one side, we've got people within a rational fear in the other, a president who loves two things, trolling and twitter. [laughter] of course he had to post this. [laughter] [cheering] ♪ [laughter] [cheering] >> he's going to lift you 5000 and be president forever. he tweeted it, so it must be true.

that's one thing for comedians like bill marr, you predict the regime but then a straight up journalist brought it up to jump on something called the meet the press. >> you joked about a third term, you joked about -- >> i only took. i only joke. >> whatever happened in 2020. when i went to like it but you walk up. >> i said easily, watch, we'll drive the media crazy. let's go for a third term and then a fourth. some of the media said, he's going to do it. >> he's having a good time. the media doesn't get it. while we laugh, while they complain, we joke. while they whine, we do this. [laughter] [laughter] >> david, you are quite a successful meeting. i've seen evidence of that here tonight. what is going on when even

comedians are falling for this? they can't see the joke? are they that diluted? >> i think politics ruined a lot of people. when trump initially got elected, everyone was like, this will be good for comedy. then all the comedians for the next two years have just been like, in their act, we need to get the ninth circuit to approve the appeal. otherwise we will not be up to have a good democracy anymore. that's the act. [laughter] what's next? that's it. >> i think you should run on repealing, the 22nd of them keeps you from running a third term, just for fun. [laughter] >> i've been giving this a lot of thought, i feel like enough is enough, mr. president. i'm no longer convinced him in the press are fighting. i think this was an agreed deal with like cnn, listen, help me

become president. i'll talk trash about you, you complain and cry about me, ratings will be great. you reelect me and i'll help you. i think we were all just suckers. the are doing it again. [laughter] going to ask him hard line questions and he gives zero on the he doesn't care. >> you know this because this is from wrestling. >> one 100%. going to do mean things to you, people like me and they will love you. we will both get paid. cool? [laughter] it has to be. >> it looks like it's -- he looks at the camera like before the end, the even left. it's obviously a joke. but why aren't the comedians laughing? i don't understand. >> they are too busy choking back tears?

[laughter] choking on their tears. you are used to that. >> i just let them out. one of the people on the left say, the children. when i see something like this, i really could have used this example of trolling when i was a child. it would have helped me handle police. i remember in kindergarten, girl made a rumor my name was cat because i used to be a catch. everyone made fun of me. i took it ron, i said no, it short for katherine. i don't poop in a pot. i would have walked right up to her like -- [laughter] [laughter] >> it's true, isn't it?

when you were a child, you were a catch. >> no the rumors that i was a cat. i could have owned that. >> to see a shift with republicans, the 70s and 80s, democrats with a coup kids. sean tweeted that he used to be the leftist who were fun" but they aren't anymore. it's now the other side. >> i think he's making a great point. i don't understand why there's no common sense anymore from what a joke us. if he's making fun of himself, he's making fun of himself. he's like take the shot and they still don't get it. i don't know why that shift is. everybody thought ronald reagan had no sense of humor. jimmy carter, he's back from up and waking taking his shots.

before the end thought about that by the way. there's no humor, i don't understand, great if the russians did collude, when -- wouldn't it have been a bigger number? if you window your series, he went by four, you don't slide into home base. >> and it was so cheap. they only spent like 100 grand. [laughter] >> at your budget? you renovate the kitchen for that. >> a star space reading of the mueller report. [cheering and applauding]

hey, who are you? oh, hey jeff, i'm a car thief... what?! i'm here to steal your car because, well, that's my job. what? what?? what?! (laughing) what?? what?! what?! [crash] what?! haha, it happens. and if you've got cut-rate car insurance, paying for this could feel like getting robbed twice. so get allstate... and be better protected from mayhem... like me. ♪ is this ride safe? i assembled it myself last night. i think i did an ok job.

just ok? what if something bad happens? we just move to the next town. just ok is not ok. especially when it comes to your network. at&t is america's best wireless network according to america's biggest test. plus buy one of our most popular smartphones and get one free. more for your thing. that's our thing. every day, visionaries are creating the future. ♪ so, every day, we put our latest technology and unrivaled network to work. ♪ the united states postal service makes more e-commerce deliveries to homes than anyone else in the country. ♪ because the future only happens with people who really know how to deliver it.

because the future only happens with people book two, separate qualifying stays at choicehotels.com... ...and earn a $50 gift card. because when your business is rewarding yourself... ...our business is you.

book direct at choicehotels.com president trump could make history tonight when he visits a demilitarized zone that separates south and north korea. he wants to meet kim jong-un while he's there. president is willing to cross into north korea. that's something no american president has ever done. it's unclear if kim plans to show up. the regime calling the invitation interesting. we'll have a special coverage of the president visit starting midnight eastern time right here on the fox news channel.

retired nypd detective who fought for health benefits for 9/11 first responders has now died. lewis had cancer which was linked in the manhattan after the attacks. he leaves behind a wife and three sons, he was 53. >> it's a star studded cast. nobody asked. reading that depicted event from the mueller report. the one night only event, think god was hosted by law works and was live streamed for the masses. here's a sample.

>> his conversations with the president were not protected by attorney-client privilege. >> what about these notes? what you take notes? lawyers don't take notes. i never had a lawyer who took notes. [laughter] >> he keeps notes because he's a real lawyer. [laughter] >> that was the best no. it's called the investigation, search for the truth in ten acts. no one deserves that. [laughter] returned to our credit's after all ten acts. what did you think? [screams] >> would you go see a play adaptation of the mueller report?

>> i'm going to be contrary. i would see john read my seventh great book report. >> he handed up. >> he didn't go for the week but to go see those great actors in anything, i'd hate to say, they don't invite me. >> i disagree. i think, i don't thank you are watching them out, i think you're watching a therapy session. >> it seems like a lot. i've seen john, by the way, the classiest guys. >> of course. >> classic guy but he went a little -- >> about it was therapeutic too. >> expand. >> i thought it was great because they are not happy with the way things turned out. so they made art out of it, which is admirable and also how

i got through high school. there was this guy, mark who did not like the back and i remember this one time, he made out with my friend, sarah and the treehouse and then i cried. >> high school? who has a treehouse in high school? >> he kept it up to make out with every other girl in school except me. i would hope to be that lucky girl in the treehouse one day but i was in the kitchen crying in front of his mom. the whole party was over at that time. i didn't just cry, i did cry but i also wrote poetry in my room alone. my friend, katie read it and said it was good so i think you can make very important works of art out of your sadness. >> you used your book to pick up on your ex-boyfriend. >> yeah. [laughter] >> the treehouse will be the bark back. [laughter] >> he made out with her right in front of me.

he had given me his hoodie sunday before so i was crying in his quotes. [laughter] anyway. >> i want to ask about your treehouse stories. >> obviously i was in a treehouse. [laughter] [cheering] >> that was the night turn. you are also an actor. >> yes. >> did you think this was good? >> i think it was, here's my only issue. he will always be the henderson, but always forever. it was great. it was good. but i think the problem was, people watching about the ending would be different. [laughter] i think all these stores are going to get together and they

are going to read the same thing that we are red. it's the same ending. >> i thought might ending would be different, too. it wasn't like there was an extra page stuck to the back. i get it. i get it all. # truck. [laughter] it's the same thing. it was a fancy way, i think they are onto something. this will help kids at school. but if we got together right now and read a history book for them, we reenacted all the parts, it's not that boring story about cluster anymore, it's reenacted, don't ask though. i'm just saying, that's what it was. as a fancy way of reading it. a lot of people left, it's the same ending. [laughter] >> your kind of an actor. >> i am kind of. i wouldn't have been good here because i'm not an over active. [laughter] that was the theater production company, the committee to reelect to donald trump.

[laughter] it's a conspiracy. hollywood, shut up. we are tired of it. [cheering] >> our good friend, dan, how many movies have you done? >> it's hard to keep track, over 100. >> it seems to me, a lot of people in hollywood are needy. they have the money and fame but they still have to do this. not enough, you have to agree with them. if you don't agree, the audience doesn't agree with their beliefs. like the audience. >> this is a new trend where they insult the audience. i don't the gets good. that's not our job. >> this is the only thing bad about the live performance, when you see actors, the makeup artists aren't there. you see them in the movie, they look great.

you see them in real life, you think, that's real life? crazy. he had one hair across his head. it's like, somebody cut that. >> i've had people see me and say, you look different. that's not nice. >> they are trying to be nice but they don't know. >> coming up, how good of an actor is jussie smollett? not very. coming up. [cheering]

there's no escape from the video tape. police released 70 hours of video in the jussie smollett investigation. body cams show police responding to his initial call. still wearing a rope he claimed to guys put on him while they were saying this is mega country in chicago. he released a video of the brothers wearing hazmat suits the night of the alleged attack. my favorite part, police

searched his computer and found that he googled himself at least 50 times after the story made headlines. is that obvious there? it's not. especially for a big star, i googled myself all the time. the drop-down menu, i look in the drop-down box to see what people want to know about me so i type in my name, is great really six-foot for? or is greg, amazingly fit for his age, that comes up a lot, doesn't it? is greg living with lou.? [laughter] is he living apart from blue? [laughter] craig is not hotter than lou. [laughter] lou, quit stalking me.

googling part, that means he's guilty. >> that means he really loves himself. that's a good thing. i could learn a little something from him. he was looking for pain. this is a historic moment. i will share with white america, this has never happened before in the history of this country, where a brother has asked the police to turn the camera off. [laughter] never happened before. never in my life. do you mind turning that off? know, it's like sir, please don't pay attention to the four cameras behind me. i was the first ever happened. quite possibly was the hideous thing i've ever seen in my entire life. [laughter] when i think it's this big giant

thing, it was almost fashionable. [laughter] you should make jokes like that but with him, it's all we can do, the second part on behalf of brothers everywhere, my bad. [laughter] just can't get anywhere. >> what about you, cat? >> his career is finished. i do googled myself, though. it makes me sad. the first thing that comes out is cat sister. so that's great. someone has to defend him. it doesn't prove anything. maybe he asked them to turn off because he didn't like what he was wearing that day. this is ridiculous. i love that they, he asked to turn the cameras off and yet, they still actually treated it like it was absolutely seriously. everyone was shocked it turned

out to be a hoax. about it was weird everyone shocked it turned out to be a hoax when he savored a sandwich. i've never been attacked, which is great but if i were and i had sandwich, i would not be as focused on the sandwich. [laughter] i feel like he could probably afford a replacement sandwich. [laughter] so. >> you are right. there are a lot of holes in the story. who leaves the rope on? [laughter] [applause] >> i'm leaving this on, you're in trouble. >> he left it on while he ate his sandwich. >> losses teeth. look, to think this when we are trying to be better, i believe in our lifetime, i believe racism, once we are all gone, our kids, nobody's racist but i

think that all those people suffered before this for real and the guy over money for a tv show, it's vomitus. as an actor, i apologize. [laughter] >> would you like to apologize for anything? >> no. [laughter] for once, i've had no involvement in this. i don't googled myself. i'm a little old school. i go to the library, i look at the micro. [laughter] >> i hated that. >> i don't know what that is. [laughter]

[applause] >> this is going to be a great movie. the way he did, 17 to paris where he used the real heroes slave themselves, he displace himself as the brothers playing themselves, jussie smollett would say yes. [laughter] you regret your college major? you are not alone. coming up, we talk. r [cheering andbu applauding] of , of , along with 26 essential vitamins and minerals. boost® high protein. be up for life. liberty mutual customizes your car insurance, hmm. exactly. so you only pay for what you need. nice. but, uh... what's up with your... partner? not again. limu that's your reflection. only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty, liberty, liberty, liberty ♪

♪ ♪

a major regret. [laughter] it's true. most people regret their college majors. i was a dumb intro. i wrote it. obviously taking on student grant. second biggest regret, the course they specialized in. most credits major, humanities. turns out it doesn't pay very well. computer science does. that's why it's the least regret it. would like regret? not a thing. my roommate, boy could he put that beer away. [laughter] [laughter]

i don't condone that. you should get your pets drunk, i don't think that's right. what did you major in? >> english. you regret it? >> no. >> why? >> i have a job. [laughter] >> you speak english. >> i speak it fluently. >> pockets for people to make the decisions. >> it's so unfair. i don't understand the whole cancel student debt thing. i didn't know you could just do that. if you didn't like something, declare it canceled. no, too much work to do but cancel that. i feel a little overweight, i will just cancel and it's gone. bernie should not even allow to say he's canceling student debt. that is inaccurate. what he's doing is forcing other

people to pay for it. that's not fair. i don't care if you regret your major or not. spending money on something and regretting it happens to all of us. still have to pay for it. you didn't need those 17 talkers at 4:00 a.m. but you don't get a reprieve. >> only 15. it's true, the same amount of money of a car loan and, people with car phones don't get any sympathy. >> i had a wife cancel on marriage once. [laughter] >> that you can do. yes. >> my son said to me the other day, dad, i'm thinking of becoming a plumber. i jumped out of my seat. this might be the best idea you've ever had. the toilets backed up.

[laughter] but we need parlors. you don't just learn that. >> i won't even make a crack about that. [laughter] it's okay to clap. >> we do need to reinvest trade schools. give people opportunities to earn money. but i have a dog in this fight because of scholarship athletes. but i do agree, maybe you could attack the lending, they put the huge interest rate. maybe take the steps to deal with that. as far as taking a loan to get a higher education and you don't get it, that's on you. that's not the american way to get something. where do you draw the line? i was angry when i killed her,

i'm not angry anymore so. there's a line there. especially to our younger generation, don't worry, you can do whatever he want and we'll take care of it. >> bernie said if you're truly free, tens of thousands of that, are you truly free if you agreed into a contract where you borrow money and then you have to pay it back and you expect to pay back? yes, you are free. >> i went to an online university. school rival. [laughter] >> i even got that. [laughter] >> i majored in philosophy. every day i was asking myself, why am i here? [laughter] >> that's such a good joke. is that classic? >> no. >> and original. >> i sound like i'm from 1930.

>> how you get a humanity degree? on two-point with that? >> exactly. i got in humanity degree. i don't know what that means. next. [cheering and applauding] this is a commercial about insurance and i know you're thinking. i don't want to hear about insurance. 'cause let's be honest... nobody likes dealing with insurance. right? see, esurance knows it's expensive. i feel like i'm giving my money away. so they're making it affordable.

thank you, dennis quaid. you're welcome, guy in kitchen. i named my character walter. that's great. i'd tell you more but i only have thirty seconds so here's a dramatic shot of their tagline so you'll remember it. when insurance is affordable, it's surprisingly painless. let's get down to business. the business of getting it done. the business of road trips. the business of getting everyone back together. the business of hustle...

...and hard work... ...and whatever this is. modernized comfort inns & suites have been refreshed because whatever business you're in, our business is you. book direct at choicehotels.com every day, visionaries are creating the future. ♪ so, every day, we put our latest technology and unrivaled network to work. ♪ the united states postal service makes more e-commerce deliveries to homes than anyone else in the country. ♪ because the future only happens with people who really know how to deliver it. because the future only happens with people is this ride safe? i assembled it myself last night. i think i did an ok job. just ok? what if something bad happens? we just move to the next town.

just ok is not ok. especially when it comes to your network. at&t is america's best wireless network according to america's biggest test. plus buy one of our most popular smartphones and get one free. more for your thing. that's our thing. you don't see psoriasis. you see clear skin. you see me. but if you saw me before cosentyx... ♪ i was covered. it was awful. but i didn't give up. i kept fighting. i got clear skin with cosentyx. 3 years and counting. clear skin can last. see if cosentyx could make a difference for you. cosentyx is proven to help people with moderate to severe plaque psoriasis find clear skin that can last. don't use if you're allergic to cosentyx. before starting cosentyx, you should be checked for tuberculosis. an increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms. or if you have received a vaccine or plan to.

if you have inflammatory bowel disease, tell your doctor if symptoms develop or worsen. serious allergic reactions may occur. see me now. i'm still clear. how sexy are these elbows? get clear skin that can last. ask your dermatologist about cosentyx. a channel of peace. i'm so nervous. ever talked about it before. what about the next movie. hail mary. >> excellent. [cheering] >> all kinds of cool best coming out.

a new role of canine companions where i go meet some of the recipients, veterans getting the dogs. [cheering and applauding] [cheering] welcome. i am jussie. twenty democratic candidates for two nights in miami. he related themselves on multiple glitches in my opinion, the most entertaining part. president found amusing, here's what he posted. >> we are less than 50 miles. seventeen people killed. >> we are going to take a quick break.k. >> was