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tv   The Greg Gutfeld Show  FOX News  July 14, 2019 2:00pm-3:00pm PDT

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hearts to all of you. eric: absolutely. magnificent gift, magnificent man and family to both of you, get back in the office. arthel: get well. eric: see you soon. being out fr more than four hours. power company con-edison said it was caused by a transformer fire. 72,000 customers were without power in a 30-block stretch. it included the radio city music hall. some people were stuck in elevators, while subway service was affected. the mayor says he's appointing a crew to investigate the fire.
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it comes on the anniversary of the outage that left new york city without power for two days. tropical storm barry made landfall as a category-1 hurricane. but was down raided. other parts of louisiana could see up to 20 inches of rain causing massive flooding. the coast guard had to rescue several dozen people terrebonne parish, stuck on the roof tops of their homes. for all your news headlines, go to foxnews.com. you are watching the most of powerr powerful name in news, fox news channel.
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greg: let's not forget paul ryan. president trump: paul ryan wasn't a talent, he wants a leader, he wouldn't give subpoenas, why nancy pelosi hands them out like they are cookies. greg: can donald trump spell the word the wrong? >> donald trump spelled the word the wrong. he doesn't know how to spell the. he spelled it thi. he couldn't get any kind of a punctuation mistake. i'm actually a good speller. but the fingers aren't as good as the brain. going * what a gift. meanwhile the woke-a-dile is like a crocodile.
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you can try to appease the woke-a-dile. sleepy joe is gobbled up bid harris who claims he's a racist. aoc is accusing nancy pelosi of targeting people of color in her own party. it's creating what i call woke shag rinkage. pretty --. woke shrinkage. pretty soon the democratic party will be a party of one. and it will be this person. but some adults are sounding the alarm. b.e.t.'s founder said this about the democrats. >> the party has moved tore me personally too far to the left. for that reason i don't have a
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candidate in the party at this time. i think at the end of the day if a democrat is going to beat trump, that person he or she will have to move to the center. and you can't wait too long to do that. greg: that was the first black billionaire. over at cnn they might call him a suite white supremacist. that was my favorite joke. should have loved more. but they will need more than him to turn this party around. for the dems have taken the bad acrid that's identity poll d the bad acid that's identity politics. but they are blaming trump for everything including a democratic donor pedophile. only our media could blame a democratic donor pedophile on a
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republican. all the left does is kill jobs because acosta had to resign. half the press are on vacation or in therapy. when press doesn't get something, he gets it anyway. you won't give me my census question? fine, i will use available data bases and you can't do [bleep] about it. he's everything the media hates and he doesn't care. he's making our immigration policy america's decision, not the world's. but my favorite story is trump continues to lose friends in high places. the u.k. ambassador resigned after leaked cables revealed he called trump inept. so trump called him out with a beautiful tweet. should i read it with patriotic
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music? the wacky ambassador that the u.k. foisted upon the united states is not someone rear thrilled with. a very stupid guy. he should speak to his country and prime minister may about their failed brexit negotiation and not be upset with my criticism of how badly it was hand. i told theresa may how to do that deal, but she went her own foolish way. unable to get it done. the u.s.a. has the best economy and military anywhere in the world by far and they are only getting better, bigger and stronger. thank you, mr. president. he actually thanked himself.
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now, some american elites are upset because we upset a key ally. but they were really worried about the cocktail party they were going to miss. trump isn't chummy when he's look out for you. he's the skunk at the garden party. he would rather hang with you than them and that's pretty cool. but what about the poor elites who will miss all those parties. if only there was a drug. >> the current situation is making it impossible for me to carry out my duties. with that explanation the british ambassador to the u.s. resigned. >> trump is ruining everything about living in d.c. now that the u.k. ambassador resigned, career is over. he threw the best parties.
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i usually don't like these drugs you offer. but i miss these parties. cocktailex tricks your brain into thinking you are always at a contentious cocktail party even when you are not. i love my martini. what the hell are you talking about, man? >> you are a riot, trevor. >> vodka. >> those are post its. i wonder if there is anyone here from the british royal family? is that grant? hello, hugh? >> what the hell is that guy on?
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he's on cocktailex. your co-workers won't get it but who cares about them, you probably never liked them anyway. greg: let's welcome tonight's guest, emily campagno. and writer and clevelandian joe defend ddivito. kat timpf. and monsters check for him under their beds before they go to sleep. my massive sidekick tyrus. emily, a corn corp yeah of topics. do you think the democratic party is going too far left? >> i'm not worried for them. i'm popping popcorn watching it
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all. but the billionaire said it perfectly. it will trouble the centrist democrats whose districts are imperative to retain the house. if pelosi continues the sorority squabble or starts capitulating to the far left. if they do hold the house when her speakership is up again. greg: i believe in competition. joe, i have no sympathy for pelosi because she opened the door for the woke-a-dile. >> their opinions were the mainstream opinions. that's why biden was the perfect candidate for 2016. his plan seems to be waiting everything out which you can't do when you are in your 70s. he's going to be in a lot of
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trouble. everyone is acting like they just discovered these things they don't like about biden. he's like let's cure cancer. were you on the fence about cancer when you were vice president in were you not sure how you felt about it? now is the time to strike. greg: it's like a forest ranger deciding he doesn't like redwoods. kat: i like watching democrats fight. when around baby and you are playing with your baby cousins. and you are like that's my toy. oh yeah? well, you are a racist. the whole nancy pelosi thing is so crazy because even though democrats are all democrats,
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they are still individuals. so there is going to be disagreement within the party. i don't think it's fair for her to ask everyone to fall in line. whenever trump says he wants loyalty from republicans he gets called hitler. she gets off easy because she was called a garden variety racist. that's not as bad as hitler. greg: what are your thoughts on this, tyrus. >> pelosi is done, trump gave her a compliment. greg: she is not a racist. tyrus: sorry, pelosi. for what we have seen, the word party is greatly misused. this is not a party. this is as funeral. the guy who died owed everybody
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money. nobody is happy. nobody wants to be there. and everyone has a problem with everybody sitting next to them. they need to split. they need a socialist party and democratic party. because there is no one -- it's so bad that a billionaire who is on the sidelines said you never wanted to run. but see how bad it is, i'm going to run. so he's jumping in. remember when he announced. no you don't. that's the point. there was no -- everyone remembers with trump, when he was on the escalator. the dinosaurs are rolling. these guys are like -- one more time. greg: i am going to try another analogy. you know when you see the fire
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trucks with two steering wheels? one in the front and one in the back. the one in the back is huffing blue out of a bag. thank you. thank you. i really needed that. after that last metaphor, i needed this metaphor. new details on the gutfeld's monologue live. tickets remain for shows in orlando and atlanta. three new dates added in jacksonville and durham, north carolina. and knoxville, tennessee december 8. is that net carbs or total?... eh, not enough fiber... chocolate would be good...
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greg: this week we added a tom, what he lost an eric and joe and invented a new cure for insomnia. >> we can do this. we have to remember who in god's name we are. this is the united states of america. greg: that was good. tom,steyer launched his bid for
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the democratic nomination. i would play some of his announcement video for you but i value your friendship. first drop out, park swalwell. his campaign had so many highlights. let's take a look. >> swalwell. >> joe biden explained you should vote for him because come on, man. >> come on, man. no deal, man. come on, man. come on, man. i'm looking forward to this, man. come here, man. greg: he thinks he's playing a
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pimp in a kojac rerun. but here's why he's note a good candidate. he's too young. my advice, wait and run in 2024. i can just picture the debates now. but true to form, he's still trying to hug the lady. joe, are you sad to see swalwell go well? >> all's well that ends swalwell. i think he said he wanted to take more time to be ignored by his family. i understand the billionaires who act like being a billionaire is an affliction. i have no choice.
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i can't get rid of this money. if you are that of and progressive and give your money away. and live as comfortably as a millionaire. use your own money instead of seizing property from other people. he's complaining about billionaires involved in politics, now he is one. greg: and he made his billions off coal and wall street. it's far from green, tyrus. i think biden. they just started -- it's not like this is going to get any easier for him. tyrus: not to mention that, he's white. an old white man giving his idea and speak out of turn? not in america, jack. not in my restaurant.
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greg: i never thought we would be applauding something like that. tyrus: never in my lifetime did i think i could get away with saying something like that. but it's true. not in my neighborhood. going *. kat: , who would you like to discuss? biden. bind, 2020, vote for me like if you want, if you want to, but if you don't that's fine. don't be mad, i'm sorry. because i don't feel like joe biden. why are people not excited about joe biden?
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because joe biden is not excited about joe biden. i don't think he hates himself. but he's kind of like, i am okay. vote for me, i am okay. that's not how you win the election when you are going to be up against the dude who has quite a bit of confidence. greg: a steamroller over a little flower. i kind of want to see it but i kind of feel badly. i don't think bind is going to last. i think he's going to drop out. they haven't even starting the -- started the race and the pudgy kid is already panting. >> i think it irony is you would think he had given up a long time ago. it's like he has been resurrected. that initial periodic table of democratic presidents. it's like the agatha christie's,
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10 little independentans. you are supposed to stay dead. and they all look alike. you know? but there is always going to be someone else who can say i am going to do bert and i can tell you how to vote. greg: we can make fun of swalwell. but he never intended to win. this was all about the spotlight. running for president, it's perfect for self. prove motion. you have get other people to pay for your tour. you have donors paying. tyrus: he went on cnn and bill maher. >> the one i want to stick
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i'm jon scott, tropical barry winding down as it marchs north, the threat is far from over, not only people in gulf states still facing torrential rains, floods extending to louisiana to mississippi, thousands are without power. nationwide crack-down on illegal immigrants underway as examined. the operation targets thousands of migrant families but leaders in several american cities refuse to go cooperate with ice agents. immigration lawyers say the rights of immigrants are being violated, the white house it is upholding the law for people given final orders to leave the country. i'm jon scott, i will see you at the top of the hour, now back to the greg gutfeld show. lay nice y
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kneel on the ice. a hockey coach with a simple message. >> first day of camp. something really important. okay? we are not women's soccer. we are not the nfl. if there is anybody here who is going to be disrespectful to the american or canadian national anthem. grab your gear and get the [bleep] out because you will never see that in this arena. we don't have that in hockey. i don't believe it would happen here. we are the most of pay the krottic sport we have out there. keep that in mind. thank you. greg: he's the assistant coach
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of the hat tricks a minor league team. he's also a former s.w.a.t. team member. i.e. a bad ass. i wouldn't mess with him and i'm a white belt in karate. he says his comments were about basic stuff you should be doing every day as an american citizen. if you think his word are harsh, you should see what happens when me and my staff meet on monday morning. tyrus, i grew up in northern california, what is california? do players bring the ice? tyrus: yes, they bring the ice.
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greg: i think trump found his new labor secretary. >> he can give his message white people pushing their stuff around. it's minor league hockey. that's one place where no one is going to act a fool. they are trying to get somewhere else. he was very true, anyone who goes to a hockey game, there are seven national anthems before the games start. they make sure everybody is covered. if you have an assistant from istanbul, hockey is the one safe sport as far as that. greg, you should watch it, violence, guys chasing each other. metal. it's cold. i commend him.
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the focus should be hockey and sports. you have to be careful what you say about the women's soccer team and the nfl because you don't know who you are going to offend. but young men should be focused on their career and leave the political stuff. greg: kat:catkat i will bet you were like me. coaches always scared me. would you like to hear more? kat: more than anything. and not just because you are my boss. listen, people on the left always talk about free speech and the right to speak your mind and speak your views and that's why you can protest "the national anthem" and that's true. it's also why this hockey coach can do what he did.
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i like "the national anthem" because i like this country. that's why i live here. right? people who hate this country so much, do they not realize that if they don't want to live here, unless they are a felon with an ankle bracelet on. if any of you are watching, you can leave. i live her because i love it. if you don't love it you can try to fix it. but to say the whole country is trash, you are dumb for living here then. greg: emily, was the coach being unprofessional or was the speech warranted. >> i don't think he was being unprofessional. i think people might take stronger issue with his language and the contents. greg: [bleep] sorry.
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tyrus: it's because he's white. >> it was refreshing to see someone who wasn't afraid of the backlash or the video being posted to the internet that was calling them out. i would love to see the continued speech by him. what i see all the time is the today it laying to the whining far d the today i tod the todaye far left. i would never think of that. i love that he was displaying this hard line. this is what you downed my time. greg: just so you know, emily like me were oakland raider cheerleaders. i won't tell you why they called me the ball boy. joe, last word. >> i do have to say when you are the coach of a minor league
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hockey team talking about "the national anthem." he doesn't to worry about how will this go over with black players. what we are mirgs how the with on these protests. when you are on a team, you put aside part of your ego. that's why you wear a uniform. you don't wear whatever you want. you make the sacrifice, you represent the team or you represent the united states. unless you are a felon with an ankle bracelet. you don't want to alienate those people. but you don't have to be on the team. if you choose to do that. you play by the rules. if you choose to represent the united states, you shouldn't disrespect the flag because it represents the people who made it possible for you. if you don't like the president and you don't want to go to the white house, that's something
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greg: there is nothing order than selling bath water. instagram model with over 4 million followers is selling bath water for $39. now she is selling an entire tub's worth for 10 grand. some say she's take advantage of lonely people. but i think she is a genius. i sold a little bit of my bath water right there. how did that get in there.
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anyway. this is great. a crystal blue lake in siberia has become a popular site for instagrammers. but it's actually a chemical waste dump. the lake's beautiful blue shade is from chemicals. this happened to him a week later. at least he's going green.
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cat. kat, you are an instagrammer. have i ever thought about selling my bath water? no. she is not charging enough. $30 for a jar of your bath water. do you know how much work has to go into distributing your bath water. first you have to take a bath. then you have to dry off from the bath. then you have got to put it all in the jars. then you have to take the jars physically to the post office. miem a min lenial. -- i'm a millenial. i am not going to mail anything unless not mailing it will result me going to prison. i'm talk about my taxes. how many jars can she carry at once. $30. respect yourself girl.
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$300 for your bath water. wouldn't it be funny fit was someone else's bath water. like danny devito. greg: if i tried to sell my bath water, i would probably take a bath. >> that's the lead-in i get? i don't know why people are saying it's not fair for people to waste their money. is it coming out of their budget for date. it says it's not for drinking. which is the third creepiest thing these guys would have done with it. it's for sentimental purposes only. if you were going to use it for a baby christening or medicinal purpose. greg: emily, why are you looking so nauseous? >> there are so many reasons.
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silence of the lambs imagining these guys buying it. i don't even know what they do with the water. and i -- i hope she is not actually selling her bath water. i hope it's just rosewater or something. greg: how much should i charge for his, tyrus. tyrus: $17,000. put it online. greg: there is somebody in america -- sell one big jar with a fish in it. kat: that was my point, yes. tyrus first of all how dare you use that. this is the world we live in? so you got grossed out because of danny devito's bath water but
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greg: don't ask how they met. a new study from stanford university finds meeting online is the most of popular way people meet. turns out in the 1940s. people met through family, friends or school. but that slowly changed over time. now 2/3 meet at bars or online. barely anyone met at church then or now. concluded researchers internet dating has displaced friend and families in their former roles in the formation of future unions. here is how i used to meet women before i got married.
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joe, you know what i'm talk about at the gym. i want to ask you what you think of this study. >> as a single man i watch us turning into a nation of pale, bizarre shutins. i would just like to say, bead hold. people meeting online. i have been doing this kind of dating for so long. i used to date people via telegraph. they keep saying stop. i was getting confused if they wanted to write another line or stop contact. it's not good that we don't have interpersonal skills anymore.
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young people when they say dating, they mean online dating. you need family and friends to hook you up. greg: i believe a smaller percentage of men will gets the lion's shaffer women. a percentage of men use the dating apps. then they become serial daughters. the focus their overs to a few men and other men end up with less opportunities and we end up with civil war. guess not. huh? all right. what are your thoughts?
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kat? online dating, kat, i believe is the most of ruthless form of dating because it's just stats and what you look like. if you put i have a great sense of humor. no one is going to know your personalities. that eliminates a full core of average guys. kat: i think it's hard to meet someone at a bar. i don't know how you meet at a bar. it's not just that you are not your best version of yourself at the bar. you often think that you are. have you ever been walking around with you're tequila soda, you think damn, i look good, i look like barbie, then you look at yourself in the mirror and say why is there relish on my
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glasses. that happened to my friends. it's not that the guys won't go for twu relish on your glasses. it's the problem is there is always the ones that will. and my friend told me that that doesn't always work out so well. my friends with glasses. with condiments on them. greg: emily, i believe it's sad. when people used to meet people through friends. you had an advocate before they met you. your advocate would say he's not 5 feet tall. but he's adorable. give him a chance. i know you don't like short people. but he's funny. but there is no advocacy online so you are all alone up there. >> the advocacy for me was
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always overblown. then you get trapped into the i don't want to hurt your feeling. any time anyone has ever said to me, oh, my gosh, you guys would be perfect for each other, they were always dead wrong. but i think proximity is more important. when you go to weddings or parties, you meet someone there. let it happen naturally. you don't want your dad to be, oh, honey. greg: you would be a catch at a funeral. final thoughts up next. [ dogs barking ] what about him? let's do it. [ sniffing ]
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driveourcomedy.com. >> [applause] >> studio audience, i'm greg gutfeld. >> acting i.c.e. director this morning defended the raid. >> these are individuals who have come to this country illegally, have the opportunity to make an asylum claim of further immigration judge and most chose not to a a vail themselves of the opportunity and at this point we had no choice but to go out and execute those from an immigration judge.

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