so don't let them do it. get your copy this weekend. thanks for watching. i'm j j j j j j j j j j j j j j. "the greg gutfeld show" is next. see you next saturday. greg * i'm greg. i am note sheer but i am somewhere else. i left you some of our favorite stories and a segment that never aired on television. i will be checking in with you throughout hour making sure you are not jumping on the furniture. so enjoy. another week, another wonderful learning experience. the campaign kicked off in orlando where we learned what would happen if trump deleted one email. president trump: if i deleted

one email like a love note to melania, it's the electric chair for trump. greg: i know that feeling. but we learned some history. does anyone have a higher percentage than your favorite president donald trump? president trump: one person has a higher percentage than your fifth president donald trump. do you know who that president is? he got a higher percentage than me and it's devastating. his name is george washington. george is at 00%. -- is at 100%. there is no way i will get there no matter what i tell you. greg: is the wall moving along? president trump: the wall is moving along rapidly. it's beautiful. i changed the design. it's strong, bigger, bert and cheaper. sometimes when they don't give

you the money, you have to make it cheaper. greg: do but do we have to pay? president trump: you pay for the distinct privilege of not having to pay. but you had to pay a lot. now you have to pay more. greg: i have no idea what that meant. but i asked, do you need a magic wand. president trump: you need a magic wand to bring back manufacturing. we'll tell sleepy joe that we found the magic wand. greg: at least he has a lot of brilliant campaign people. president trump: we have a lot of brilliant talent campaign people. they cost a fortune and they never give me any ideas. i am only kidding. greg: it makes you wonder what country you are in. president trump: maga. this is maga country. greg: it's no longer maga. it's keep america great or kag

which sound line a death metal group. the new one says let's preserve what we changed. i can't wait to see the slogan for his third term. anyway. that's impossible, people. it's impossible. but as he throws his first political tailgate, the orlando sentinel pulled the first two. meaning they hate so much the dems could nominate a zombie raccoon and they would go with the defecated zombie raccoon. enough about bernie sanders. much like cnn after being insulted at the rally actually shut their coverage down, proving how emotional they

really are. i am surprised they didn't shout i hate all of you and fling themselves on the bed sobbing into a clutch pillow. at least they provided coverage for some creepy stuff. >> the concentration cam, they are targeting the community and putting them in detention cams without a trial. that's what the trump administration is doing. >> is she right in defining concentration camp? yes. but do they have a feeling of usage stained with the genocide of the jews? yes. greg: as one side celebrates a country the other insults holocaust victims and justifying it with lame symantics. this is trump. >> [bleep] [bleep] [bleep].

and this is his critic. now i'm bad at predicting things. but i know besides -- the side having the most of fun usually wins. on the republican side it's fun. on the democrat side it's funk. you know, when the socks have already gone stiff. every candidate staking out the gloomiest vision for a country. trump will be live tweeting the debates. people won't be watching the debates. they will be watching him watching the debates.

the democrats should be thrilled over this. if there is one person who can make amy klobuchar or eric swalwell interesting, it's not amy klobuchar or eric swalwell. it his tweet machine. but it's hard to see how special it really is when you are in it. it's one of those times that can only be revealed when you are looking back at it decade from now. lucky for you i took my time machine to the future and found the perfect product. >> i'm tom shillue. i am the one whose face makes you feel safe. i'm thrilled to share with you a collection like no other. president trump: i will not talk about jeb bush. i will not say he's low energy. i will not say it. tom: now for the first time ever all the unforgettable trump hits

are together in one collection. the best of trump. > >> we'll build the wall, and who's going to pay for the wall? tom: before we go any further i would like to introduce my co-host, kat timpf. kat: hello, you may recognize me from titanic 17 and jack's revenge. but today i have a look back at the voice that defined the era. >> trump supported the invasion of iraq. >> wrong. wrong. wrong. i am officially running for president of the united states and we are going to make our country great again.

tom: this collection brings back so many great memories, like before my wife left me for geraldo. kat: that's right, and you will be transported back to the most of iconic moments. i am cold. >> you run the one -- let me run the country, you run cnn. kat: before if you wanted this much trump you would have to watch the news 24/7 and ignore your family. tom: don't i not. but now i can see classics like get him out of here. >> get him out. go home to mommy. trawrm every dplip this set tells a great story. kat: who could forget bing bing bong bong bing bing bing.

you won't find this collection on cnn. tom: you are telling me. remember wraps nick? president trump: nick, where are you, nick, stand up. come here. come here. get up here, nick. tom: to order trump hits today, call any time within the next four years you will receive a limited edition of a lock of the president's hair. greg: joey, what do you make of the campaign kickoff? >> i love the video. this is the second little cat jumping, that's me getting on an escalator every day of my life. tyrus: he jokes about his legs. he's cool with it. >> if i ever reach arguing with

holocaust survivors over the definition of concentration camps. if i reach that level in my political career put a fork in knee, i'm done. it leaves me to believe in the conspiracy theory of the democratic party. greg: stop there? >> okay. greg: jim, what did you make of the week so far? >> he was great. he got a lot of criticism because he was complaining the first hour. but he has every right to complain. democrats won't work with him. the mueller report was hanging over him. the media is like a nagging wife. they just pick at him. look at the way he yawned. can you believe it? greg: like a man who just got

divorced. >> exactly. that's why in my comedy special i got the house. greg: is it a nice house? >> yes, it's a nice house. so it was good. just that he got anything done in the first 2 1/2 years is amazing. the guy is an animal. greg: kat, i want you to do the movie you said you were in. kat: jack's revenge. greg: you make an excellent elderly kat timpf. kat: thank you. i want to go back to what you were talking about, aoc and her concentration camp thing. that was so stupid i was trying to think of what it was like. i am just going to say them all.

that's like saying having a cold is like having cancer. that's like saying your phone dying is like your mom dying. that's like saying that wearing a tie that's too tight is like being behead. that's like saying that eating hot soup and having it burn your mouth is like being burned alive while eating hot soup. that's like saying break fingernail is as bad as having a nail in our finger. greg: it's hard to pick from those. kat: i didn't know which one to make so they all made the air. tyrus: there were no one sentence to describe the moronicness of what she said. that's like saying somebody breaks dwroirn house, trips and falls and breaks youro their

neck and you go to jail for murder. it's kind of the same thing. trump had a big week. he kicked it off. and we didn't see any democrats again. going on ison the news, the they are mad at joe biden for telling it how it is. literally cory booker was hard at joe because joe told the truth about something that actually happened, an historic event. not something he made up on twitter. cory booker is hilarious to me. his claim to fame to go after joe biden, he led the legislation to let everybody know that a lynch mob is a crime. it's officially a crime. like we didn't already know that if you form a lynch mob you are going to jail. greg: up next. i grab a p

greg: she didn't endorse with

much force. despite all his gaffes, joe biden is still leading in the polls. that's what why his wife jill said this. >> your candidate may be better on healthcare than joe is. but you have to look at who will win the election. maybe you say i personally like so and so better. but your bottom line has to be that we have to beat trump. greg: i have heard mice give cats better endorsements. my husband doesn't have the best ideas. but he's not so bad, unlike trump. that's the strategy of the biden campaign. vote for trump. listen to biden's first tv ad. >> we know in our bones this election is different. the stakes are higher, the threat more serious.

we have to beat donald trump to restore the soul of the nation. greg: they are playing the trump is a jerk card. it's the only card they have got since the peace and prosperity card isn't going oh well these days. tell the people what you really mean. >> we know it in our bones that things are going great, the economy, jobs. which is what makes it so hard to not come up with a reason to vote for trump. sure unemployment is at a 5-year low. but we say forget all that. don't vote for him because it's a big meany. >> that guy has a serious weight problem. go home and start exercising. '. >> trump doesn't even read to children, he gives fast food to

our college football teams. >> is there any way they can turn those lights down? reporter: he maybe ending a war. but he doesn't even own a talk with no plans much getting one. a dougless president, that's just [bleep] up. but the biggest reason not to vote for him web's so cold to jim acosta. president trump: that's enough. cnn should be ashamed of having you work for them. you are a rude, terrible person. so vote democrat in 2020. we may screw things up but at least we'll be nice by the. greg: it's a good strategy to go on strategy, not personality. >> i don't know if joe biden has the joe biden vote locked down.

you may have to swallow it and grit your teeth. you may have to take a pill of some type. you may have to wear a hat pulled down and sunglasses and a fake mustache. but vote for that guy because i don't want him around the house. i think she wants -- if you are 76 years old, don't release an add called bones. i thought it was an ad for tylenol p.m. greg: kat, do you think half the country could go for this. half the country has a problem with trump as trump. kat: i kind of got the vibe from this whole thing that joe biden is basically a guy who is madly in love with this girl who likes him fine, but doesn't want to date him. so he just like, babe, in this

scenario, in america we are babe, babe, i know i don't have a job and i live with my move and i can only get aroused when i hear we are the champions on the accordion, but at least i'm not a serial killer, and who is really going to be there for you in the end, and we can get someone to play the accordion. but i don't know women that go for that. i don't think america is going to go for that either. greg: tyrus, is he going to make it to the nomination? tyrus: he's not going to do anything. he's just going to stay home and lock his doors. having a woman behind you like that is an amazing feeling. i often any wait would be to have a woman stand behind me like that. you miss tie ruls? yeah, yeah. it's terrible, it's mean, you

can't correct her and say honey, remember that exciting endorsement you were going to give me? what happened? what did i stay that was wrong? republicans are always accused of fear mongering. democrats try to do it, beto o'rourke is really doing it. they are bad at it. he said if mayor, we are dying in our sleep, if we don't make changes. to be honest, they try to scare us with fear mongering, but they attack the republicans for it. but telling us if we don't vote for bind you are going to die in your sleep also could be ironic. greg: the media is making it a national emergency anyway. >> i want to hear more from

jill. i used to give a lot of marriage counseling. and i imagine as jill is speaking about about why you should not vote for joe except that otherwise we are going to get trump. joe is probably kicking her under the table, right? that's basically what married couples do. you kick each other under the table. >> they are one-sidekicks. the rest of us just take it and smile for the camera. >> i would love to hear from jill why his policies aren't that good. his policies aren't that good but it's better than having trump. i want to hear more from jill. greg: the summer segment that never aired. does dodge ball promote bullying? better question, do i look bett

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i'm aishah hasnie. greg: is this the decline and fall of dodge ball? dodge ball. we all played it in gym class. you pick teams, you throw a ball at your opponents. the team that loses is dismembered in a gruesome ritual. that's how we did it. in first grade. anyway, researchers in canada now say dodge ball is oppressive since the goal is to marginalize the weak. that's true of any sport you

played as a kid. i know, i sucked at all of them. that's why i quit sports and learned my life skills elsewhere. your kids can too simply by ditching sports for better stuff. >> want to do physical activity with lesser intellect. our philosophy is simple. if you are under 8 years old and haven't shown any athletic yet, you can start pursuing getting rich, electronic defense contracting. real estate development. blackjack and even loan sharking. >> wow, that awesome. >> start lettering math.

greg: tyrus, that video this my mind the absolute truth. if you know at an early age that sports is not for you, screw it. get out, learn a musical instrument, start reading. do something. don't be a pawn for another player. don't be a non-player character for one guy in your neighborhood. anyway -- tyrus: are you done? greg: yeah. tyrus: it's dodge ball. greg: organized sports are evil. no clapping. tyrus: the next time the super bowl comes on and you want to watch somebody trade stocks, go

with him. first of all, the studies from canada. canada. greg: i know. a great country. tyrus: that should have been the end of it. buford t. justice has a great line. what is the world coming to to where somebody thought more than 8 seconds about dodge ball it's oppressive. so is the conversation when you are losing, but everything is oppressive if you are not getting an advantage by it. sitting in the last row is oppressive. having to look at everybody who was here before you. everybody has a better view than you. we should outlaw chairs? we can make this argument about everything.

greg: i'm pro dodge ball and playground games because everybody can play. but let's take baseball minor lesion. 300 players in minor league. but even the players are getting paid, they are non-player characters in a video game. kind of weird, don't you think? kat: i loved dodge ball as a kid. not because i was good at it. but i would get hit almost immediately and i would get to sit down. but i think we have to be careful because i totally agree with tyrus that all games could be seen as offensive. musical chairs. not i cluesive. hide-and-seek and tag encouraged unhealthy stalking behaviors. simon says why do i have to do what some man tells me has to

do. why isn't it sara says. i could go on and on. but people should think about anything else in the world. greg: it should be passive not gender specific. >> sports made you the man you are today. all that time in right field got you thinking. if you are not good at sports it makes you plot to do other things. so all our time in right field paid off. greg: process of elimination. why did i do it for 8 years? tyrus: you never gave up and it turned into other things. and you still think it today. you had to wear a cup. tyrus: you were 8 years old, you wore a cup? >> sometimes when i wasn't

playing. >> my kid came home with a cup, and i said what do you have a cup for? dodge ball is the greatest game ever invented. the whole point is to marginalize the weak which we all enjoy. and the strong get to fight each other to be the greatest optimist and strong. sports is a fantastic vehicle for life. greg: learning how to invest and making a lot of money so you can hire the people who beat you in dodge ball to mow your lawn. up next, this segment never before seen until now. rich people flying on their private jets so they can save the earth. you can see it next.

greg: they say they care while polluting the air. google. never head it. hosted a star studded environmenfeitaly, they talked g the planet. every time you search something on co2. if you search for porn and watch online, that generates more co2 than belgium does. talk aboutalk about a waste. but enough about belgium. prince harry, katy perry. 114 private jets were flying in attendees. others arrived by yacht. either vehicle is very energy

efficient. hundreds of thousands of co2 per emitted into the atmosphere for this to schlep super rich people who would never fly commercial around the world to discuss the biggest threat to mother earth, the cow fart. just cut the cars in half to cut emissions in half. yep. if i were to bet on climate change being involved and people giving up google searches i would not vote for the climate change. try david petraeus i would say hoodies and sunblock. we can always go to mars. dry, --

tyrus: i would say hoodies and sunblock. we can always go to mars. it's more than going to a ball or festival and sit around and talk about what we could do and have a meeting, but it's not like they are leaving with wind mills and generators. they are going to show off and they put a green tree on the bottom of it. they say people are so great a because they care about the environment, and they leave the place trashed. it's hypocrite wall. hip d it's hypocritical. maybe people like greg and myself wouldn't sit there and go right. it's just to show off. and it sounds good. it's a feel-good moment. you will probably get a couple

thousand likes. greg: why not hold that meeting down the road from google. don't go to italy. kat: i like the yab. i think going things to make the environment healthier is good. what i don't like is hypocrisy. you want to hold an event to try to combat climate change, great. step one, make sure your event does not contribute to climate change. right? this is like holding an anti-cancer benefit as a marlboro factory and making everyone smoke a pack before they are allowed in. that's about as much sense as it makes. greg: what about you? i think celebrities go to this stuff because they get to be around other celebrities.

and it's an easy way to feel compassionate and relevant. >> they have every material thing they want. if they had walked or taken rowboats, we could take it more seriously. the green new deal is going to cost hundreds of thousands of dollars for each household. they are hanging out in italy. greg: this is how revolutions start when people are telling you you have to do something. >> the person itch not heard from in all of this. where is alexandria ocasio-cortez. i mean, if she has her way with the green new deal, they will have to take rowboats. i don't see leonardo dicaprio

doing that. greg: unless there are three scandinavian models in the boat. >> i didn't go there, you did. kat: you always have to be clear. you could really affect climate change if you shut down google. you think about -- if they did the research, each search is like boiling a celt. think about all the searches. if you got rid of that and banned private jets, what kind of effect would that have? would they support that? they probably wouldn't. >> it's racist you to ask them to do that. >> if you need at least four scandinavian models to row a boat -- greg: you know climate change is racist. tyrus: it's like the color

black, really. greg: even that's racist. greg: coming up. what's our biggest live regret? mine was taking the prune

greg: do you wake up in a sweat overcome with regret. four out of ten people regret how they live their lives. one of the biggest regrets, spending too much time at work, not traveling enough. neglecting their health. not spending enough time with family. not being a better parent. why do those regrets sounds like my goals. i want to spend less time with my family. 40% say they want to make positive changes to their lives in the near future and nearly half say they know it's not too late to accomplish more in life though maybe it is. but maybe regret is a good motivator. right, billy?

billy has a lot of regrets, and that's probably one of them. jonathon morris. thoughts about regrets? >> i do. this is good. this is called real conversation. i love this stuff. do i regret having joined the priesthood or having left? i would say neither. we can't make up our future. we can only live in the present. and we can't go back and say if only i had done this -- maybe you can do that but it probably doesn't do any good. all i know is i am so grateful for so many unbelievably beautiful moments in the priesthood. this is not a laughing matter. and at the same time i say i knew that i had to follow my heart and say for so many years

i was staying doing good things mostly, i think. but because i was afraiferred letting other people's expectations down, and that's not a good reason to do anything. do i have regrets? yeah, i think if you don't have regrets you don't have a conscience at some level. but do i regret having joined the priesthood. it's probably useless to think about that. greg: we are going to make this segment about you. >> thank you. greg: you know why i agree? if you change any way how you lived your life in the past it's that butterfly effect. if you quit your job and regret that you never would end up being where you are now. you have no idea where you would have gone if you didn't make those changes. it could be far worse.

kat: never brought home someone who had bedbugs. i regret 2000 to 2019. 2000 is when i was born. no, you have got to have regrets. i think the people that don't have regrets and are so proud about not having regrets are the ones who need regrets the most of. everything happens for a reason. reason is, you drank 14 whiskey sours and you are an idiot. if you don't have regrets you don't learn from those things. i think regrets can be good and healthy. and bedbugs are as bad as they say. going * tyrus, what do you make of this study. tyrus: the good thing about

leaving the priesthood is it wasn't a woman. you didn't have to deal with regret as much because i don't have to have regrets, i have a woman who will remind you of everything you have ever done in your life that's wrong. so at least when you left god it was a clean break. every man in this chair knows what i'm talking about. we can't afford regret. we are too busy hearing about it. >> if anybody knows what you are talking about, right? tyrus: there is a whole pool of regret. and bed bugs ain't got nothing on it. i would take a pants full of bed bugs right now.

than having to hear about everything i have every done every wednesday night. greg: i didn't expect the direction of this thing. >> regrets are overrated. i have thrown up in person. not yours. i made plenty of mistakes. we all have. but to dwell on them, what's the deal. we learn from every mistake we make and we move on. but don't dwell on it. greg: whatever you did that you regret actually moves you to a place you are. if you went another direction you could be dead. tyrus: i could still be at the cemetery reminding myself what i did. greg: final thoughts next.

♪(piano music) jessica! we need to leave. right now! i need to get something.

(boy): dance recitals are so boring. ♪there's a me no one knows ♪waiting to be set free so, what's the empty suitcase for? the grand prize trophy duh ♪i was born to be somebody

greg: that was a really good show. and i'm very handsome. thanks for watching. i'm greg gutfeld and i love you eastern i hope. eric: have a great afternoon. jon scott next with the "fox report". jon: massive relief effort in bahamas nearly a week after the northern most part of that island nation was destroyed by hurricane dorian. the death toll now rising to at least 43 people. that number is expected to climb significantly. good evening. i'm jon scott. this is "the fox report". the u.s. coast guard says it has rescued hundreds of people left stranded by dorian. this as crews continue to comb through rubble. while families grapple with agonizing uncertainty -- uncertainty. >> i haven't heard from them since the hurricane, and they haven't heard from me, so i don't know how they are situated and they definitely don't