announcement. sean will be back on monday. he is going to a sit down in an exclusive interview one-on-one with president trump. you don't want to miss it. tomorrow we will find out. here is "the five." ♪ ♪ >> jesse: hello, everybody, i'm jesse watters along with emily compagno, juan williams, dana perino and greg gutfeld. this is new york city and this is "the five." ♪ ♪ hillary clinton is taking russia hysteria to a new extreme as she continue the blame game for her 2016 loss against trump. she is now speculating that the kremlin is grooming one of the 2020 democratic women as a spoiler third party candidate. listen to this. >> i think they have got their eye on somebody who is currently in the democratic primary. and they are grooming her to be the third party candidate. she is a favorite of the russians. they have a bunch of sites

and boths and other ways of supports her so far. and that's assuming jill stein will give it up. which she might not. because she is also a russian asset. she is a russian asset. i mean totally. so they know they can't win without a third party candidate. >> jesse: hillary is obviously referring to tussle is i gabbard who has already vowed to not run as a third party candidate. she has responded force there with this tweet thank you, hillary clinton, you the queen of war amongsters embodiment of corruption and personification of the rot that has sickened the democratic party so long have finally come out from behind the curtain. from the day i announced my candidacy, there has been a concerted campaign to destroy my reputation. we wondered who was behind it and why. now we know. it was always you. through your proxies and powerful allies in the corporate media and war machine, afraid of the threat i pose, it's now clear that this primary is between you and me.

don't cowardly hide behind your proxies. join the race directly. this is exactly what you wanted to have happen on a friday. >> greg: yes, tulsi is a grade a bad ass right now. she is like, the reason why hillary is going after her because she is different. she is different than everybody up there. she sounds like in many ways a dracial liberal. she is not a hard leftist. she is not into identity politics. she thinks her own way and that bothers her. but, when you read this, you said they were obviously talking about tulsi gabbard. the reason why. this is the other thing i didn't like that hillary didn't mention her. but it was obvious what it was tulsi. cnn had a talking bot on cnn saying she was a russian asset and the "washington times." merely saying and echoing what you hear in the media. so, again, they are working from the same script. but maybe hillary is right. i mean, if you think about it, here you have putin is grooming a russian spy, first to join the american military, right?

and then after that russian spy is in the military, then you run for congress, okay, in hawaii. and then you decide to run for president as a democrat only to leave and go independent in order to ensure that donald trump is president. the russians must have been genius to predict that trump would be president in 2020 to pull this off. she is so delusional it's comical. >> jesse: what do you think the strategy is, dana, behind this? >> dana: i don't think there is a strategy. and i don't think hillary said this just because tulsi gabbard is different. i think hillary said this because she totally believes it and she has many people telling her this. now, remember, jill stein was the third party candidate and hillary clinton and her team truly believed that the russians and facebook cost them the election because jill stein got x amount of votes in michigan and wisconsin. they truly believe that jill stein is not on the scene anymore. tulsi gabbard has been having these accusations

against her for a long time. to us it sounds like crazy town conspiratorial. believe me, there is a lot of people who actually believe this. tulsi gabbard is going to have a press conference at 6:30 tonight. she will be able to be great, thank you, hillary clinton, for now making meet actual star of the week. primary between her and hillary by any means. and now, let me say i could take it all back if i found out that hillary clinton said it to keep the controversy going and her in the news for her book tour. >> jesse: oh. >> greg: she won the week though, you are right. the debate with a so boring. now we remember tulsi. >> jesse: that's right. >> jesse: do you think this is for book promotion? >> juan: no. i think it's very real. you look at the numbers. the reason this has been going around by the way is because tulsi gabbard has been supportive of people like assad and, you know, very open to putin. i mean, you can just look at the record. >> greg: she is a spy. >> juan: i don't know if she a spy. certainly she is someone that the russians would be interested in. and here's the key.

>> can i ask you real quick? >> juan: let me finish this key political point. i had a friend in north carolina, 2016, very far left activist? she calls after the election and says hello, oh, yeah, can you believe trump won? she said well, didn't you guys get out there for hillary clinton? well, no. i assumed hillary was going to win. you know what? i voted for jill stein. i said are you crazy? in north carolina? north carolina was won by trump by like 3 percentage points. you voted for jill stein? >> juan: yeah. i wanted to have a protest vote. i'm sick of the establishment. that's the far left, jesse. every have got to remember it was 79,000 votes in three states, wisconsin, pennsylvania, michigan, 0.8% difference in wisconsin, 0.7 in pennsylvania. and 0.2% in michigan. how did this happen? this happened because of jill stein and gary johnson. >> jesse: i don't want to dwell on it but what do you mean when you say tulsi likes assad and putin?

>> juan: very supportive of assad. remember the red line and everybody is complaining about the use of chemical weapons against his own people. she was very supportive. she said assad is the legitimate leader of syria. >> jesse: okay. >> emily: for startersed a jill stein to the still growing list of reasons why clinton claims she lost the election. literally every day there is a new one. misogyny and jim comey, the fbi, bankruptcy, et cetera. for all of her complaints about what she calls those things to be an intervening event, why is thee then doing that now to tulsi? i think it's because fundamentally that, yes, she has a disdain for her because she is different. we heard it on the project veritas tapes from cnn who said they don't like her because she is unconventional. that's the point. there is an absolute intolerance from the left and especially from hillary for anyone that thinks differently from her and obviously that's the reason why fundamentally she didn't connect with anyone and lost the election. final point, for the former secretary of state, to be throwing around the term asset, knowing full well

what it means, is so reprehensible, to me. and i hope that cnn airs tulsi's response at 6:30. >> jesse: so i think it's also to promote the book. but i also think it is to set up david plouffe interview. i think it's to set up another excuse. if the democrats lose again, they are going to say that there was, again, russian time. >> dana: do an interview with david plouffe the campaign advisor for president obama. >> jesse: i hate how he plays his name also plouffe? p-l-u -- >> dana: hillary clinton might think i have a very receptive audience. basically you feel very safe like you are only talking to your pals, but these podcasts actually go out to the whole world. >> jesse: greg, did you hear that everyone is list listening to your podcast.

>> greg: she is dying to enter the race. she looks at the race and is sickens her. if you she enters she won't be the frontrunner. like jack nicholson getting back into movies as an extra. she is not going to be able to handle that she is so invested in this delusion that it's affecting the entire environment. she needs to get a hobby, take her grandkids to euro disney. i don't know. learn a musical instrument. >> juan: hold on, hold on. greg, i think you were one of these people saying just earlier this week hillary clinton may get back in the race. >> greg: yes. >> juan: okay. then you were saying michelle obama she may get in the race. she's democrats are so stinky and boring. we need somebody with some energy. then have you someone stand up and say hey, wait a second, we have a good field. we have people, in fact, elizabeth warren is rising. joe biden. >> jesse: who said you have a better field. >> juan: i say you have a good field. not only that when it comes to tulsi gabbard, tulsi gabbard, i don't think, is going to qualify for the next round of debates.

>> greg: that might change. >> dana: she might now. >> juan: democrats making a judgment even before hillary clinton. >> greg: she isn't like jill stein. she is not a hard leftist. she is a centrist. that's why hillary can't stand her she is not like the modern left. >> jesse: she has gone after the democrats and she did it the other day. she said we shouldn't be speaking so much about impeachment all the time. and that makes a hard hard core leftist angry because that's all they want to talk about. >> greg: i think bill is going to wants to go to hawaii and investigate her. just don't borrow that guy's plane. major enthusiasm for president trump as he rocks the texas rally straight ahead ♪ ♪ as a financial advisor you have to listen. you listen to your client's goal of sending her daughter to the music school of her dreams. and you help her turn it into reality. principal. we can help you plan for that.

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♪ we can work it out ♪ we can work it out ♪ >> juan: trump supporters thought full force in dallas last night to hear the president's 2020 message. he railed against potential democratic rivals and he railed against the impeachment inquiry. watch think the more america achieves, the more hateful and enraged these crazy democrats become. that crazy nancy. she is crazy. and shifty schiff, how about this guy? sleepy joe. i don't think he has got it. i thought pocahontas was gone. left in embers. you have to give her credit those embers kept going and going and going and now it looks like she is doing better. >> juan: the president unleashing barbs on texts and beto o'rourke. he was staging a counter rally nearby. >> last week a very dumb democrat candidate for president, that's the end of him in this state pledged to

revoke the tax exempt status of many churches and religious charities. was after a few weeks ago he said excuse me, we're going to take your guns away. that doesn't work well. i told him right. remember the flailing arms. nobody noticed it. i noticed it. >> juan: emily, do you think the president has any worry that texas might be going blue? he seems to be showing up there a lot? >> emily: he seems pretty confident. right? this is the 12th time he has visited texas since taking office that was more times than obama went in both of his terms. i think that beto arguing he can take texas back and take those 38 electoral votes, 30,000 people outside of that arena beg to differ. i want to point out that those massive crowds, too, are the result, obviously, of this impeachment play by democrats. and for those that argue well, the numbers are growing for impeachment or for the inquiry, that still is the top priority for very few of them. all that is doing is

galvanizing all of those people there that are cheering for him. >> juan: that's an interesting point, jesse. in fact, there was a poll today that said in iowa only like 6% of iowaians think that impeachment should be or is their top concern. you can see the poll there on the screen. but, in fact, i mean is the case as emily was saying the numbers in terms of the people who not only want the president impeached but want him removed from office is also growing nationally. all the other polls you site i don't like them. met with a huge crowd. was at 20,000 inside. another 10,000 outside. no democrat could get anywhere close to those kind of numbers. they couldn't do it in california, i bet. we will see what bernie can do here. i think this weekend he has got the squad here and michael moore is going to be joining them. but speaking of crazy people, tom arnold tweeted an assassination joke about the president of the united states, you know, don't get cocky. the last time jfk was in dallas you know what

happened. horrific. he actually deleted it how bad it actually was could imagine if a famous celebrity said that before barack obama. it's horrible. we have heard so many stories all week about how dangerous these videos are coming out of the republican party. some small video on some small tv screen like some trump thing. this guy has millions of followers, major hollywood celebrity assassination jokes about the president and no one is talking about it on cnn. >> greg: i disagree. he is not a major celebrity. >> jesse: not a world class celebrity like you. >> juan: wait a minute, the president is not a major celebrity and they have a video of him shooting his opponent? >> jesse: did he make that video, juan? it was tom arnold. >> juan: let's move on. dana, one of the arguments here is that the democrats are focused on impeachment and so the rest of their agenda gets be a secured. but this week what we have seen is, you know, nancy pelosi and her house crew unveiled the plan this week

on education. they want to have a vote to lower drug prices. they passed the healthcare plan back in may that is stuck in the senate is it the cases that they are able to do two things and one time? >> dana: paul ryan made this argument as well. the house, when you have the majority, you can pass a lot of things, pass 232 bills. they can say we passed 232 bills sitting in the senate and not getting any attention. that's why the democrats decided mitch mcconnell is public enemy number one because is he not able to get the agenda done. they had a choice. they didn't have to do impeachment and nancy pelosi held off a long time so she could be able to protect her members that became unsustainable. can you pass a ton of bills in the house. it doesn't matter if you can't get it done in the senate. you can't show -- >> juan: mitch mcconnell is the guy who should get the blame. >> dana: why? because mitch mcconnell doesn't want to pass bills that he thinks are not good. >> juan: he doesn't want to pass anything. what is that phrase he uses for himself now something that everything gets.

>> jesse: grim reaper? >> juan: grim reaper. thanks, jesse. >> jesse: you are welcome. >> dana: i think going to texas at this point it's not because you are worried about texas. texas you have a huge base of support. you can do a lot of fundraising and the other important things is they have this amazing digital operation on the trump campaign. they go there. get all the information. that way they can go back to them over and over again. get out the vote. make sure those people's neighbors are getting out to vote. the energy is incredittable. the democrats are having a debate about impeachment and they are also exceedingly worried about electability. if you are still talking about electability they don't have anybody that is beginning up anging up. does not mean anything to do with alcohol it has to do with horses. >> juan: the president, boy, he was fired up last night. he is saying that warren is a bum. shift is schiffy. owe o'rourke is dumb. pelosi is crazy. >> greg: shocking. >> juan: says about that

situation in syria there is a lot of sand. let them fight like two kids before you pull them apart. >> greg: there is great comparison to be made here. while thousands of everyday americans were at a trump rally, the establishment media covers the al smith dinner. what they do is cover an event where both she's names tell speeches by other people. that was news. the news was mattis roasting trump at an event where people roast each other. that that to them was more preferable than seeing what's happening on the ground in dallas where america's cab driver, donald trump is speaking their language and saying what everybody, the majority of americans have felt about the middle east forever. that there are different groups of people killing each other and maybe it's time we move away and let them settle it themselves. by the way, trump isn't a politician. is he a truck drug. he gives people different experiences. his supporters get a dopamine rush when they are there. he knows what he is doing. he speaks to them directly. oh my word he says this.

oh, i can't believe it. they are getting high on the hate of him. but the bottom line is, he is closer to the ground than any of the democratic politicians. that drives joe scarborough and the people like him nuts who now have to resort to calling everybody stupid, which is what scarborough does when he talks about the rallies. he said these people are just stupid and it's like no, you just can't understand what's going on in america. you're stupid. >> juan: but i think that president trump is so entertaining to your point. i think people love to turn out. dana makes a great point. they get data out of this. the fact is trump puts on a show. i don't know that that means people are going to vote for him. >> jesse: did he last time. >> juan: remember who won the election in terms of popular vote. [laughter] >> jesse: electoral college. >> juan: both americans who wants to hear from them? hear what mark zuckerberg wants to hear about

facebook. miss dana shares more of her interview with zuckerberg on "the five." ♪ ♪ liberty mutual customizes your car insurance, so you only pay for what you need. i wish i could shake your hand. granted. only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ it made her feel proud. ancestry® specifically showed the regions that my family was from. greater details. richer stories. and now with health insights. get your dna kit at ancestry.com.

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we have no debt, we don't owe anybody anything, and it's fantastic ♪ ♪ >> dana: facebook mark zuckerberg one of the most powerful people on the planet. social media he runs dominates our digital and political lives. we sat down for exclusive no holds barred where i asked minimum about perceived bias against conservatives and free speech. take a look. >> dana: do you believe that there a bias against conservatives in silicon valley? >> well, i think on how it depends on how you say it. i don't think that the services themselves, i haven't seen a lot of data that suggests that there is a negative impact. in fact, a lot of conservative media does quite well on social media. not just facebook. but the others as well.

but, look, i mean, california is an overwhelmingly left leaning place. i understand why people would ask the question of are my ideas getting a fair shake? and all that i can say on this is this is something i care deeply about. i want to make sure that we can be a platform for all ideas. >> dana: so there -- this has been going on for a while that there is a perception that there is a bias against conservatives by maybe not him in particular, but employees at facebook or across silicon valley. and it's something they are trying to deal with. how do you think they have done so far? >> i think they have done a poor job of managing it, frankly, especially the messaging, right? so what was interesting about his answer is that he talked about the services. he said the services are -- there is no data supporting the conservative bias. but that's parsing language. we knew that in a lincoln tower survey. 90% of his employees said if they were conservative they were unsafe at work or felt

unsafe at work to talk about it. that's why facebook conducted that internal audit. right? we had 100 facebook employees report that they would be attacked by their colleagues. and i just, you know, just conceptually talking about, this i can't help but think that it gets baked into the software. because the whole point is that the data is difficult to qualify, obviously. >> dana: they have tried to deal with that in different ways. but he also said that he admitted later in the interview that i think over 95% of donations from people that work in silicon valley goes to democrats. >> jesse: not only have they done it to hillary the last time. a lot of the executives in silicon valley were joined at the hip hillary clinton campaign and joined at the hip with the obama campaign. the google people, a lot of those people were almost working with those campaigns. and i agree that a lot of conservative people do have success online. but when it comes to banning or shadow banning dave rubin, ben shapiro, dennis

prager. the list goes on and on. diamond and silk our favorite ladies. you wind up and turn your computer on and the next thing you know you get one view on a video and had 55,000 the last couple weeks. doesn't make sense what people accuse political bias people write the algorithms. why is it that conservatives continue to get banned when liberals don't? >> dana: he gave a speech yesterday greg about free speech on the same day that twitter said they were going to start deplatforming some of president trump's tweets. >> greg: that is quite a comparison. what is going on? that's a no holds barred. what is a holds barred. >> dana: i don't know. >> greg: i don't either. elm enmaybe you can find one on saturday night. >> greg: that was mean. >> jesse: getting you back. >> greg: i was joking about the word. >> jesse: she was joking. >> greg: he admits that the platform or the social media industry is overwhelmingly liberal, right? he says it doesn't have an

effect on access for conservatives. i would argue that's because the customers are doing a lot of the policing. the customers are throwing a react. if the right wasn't throwing a react, it would get pretty bad. so they're the ones doing it. he is up against something, when you are talking about the employees. where are these employees coming from? they are coming from colleges with garbage majors. where do they go? they go into h.r. and p.r. and they infect the work world with their identity politics, their intersectionality politics and makes it hard for other people, conservatives to work there. >> dana: you think the engineers too? >> greg: engineers be quiet. engineers don't care about politics. they just love to engineer. >> dana: they want to code. >> greg: you know, they just want to do their job. >> dana: they are like shut up and code. >> juan: let me say earth to this right wing spaceship. have you noticed this very week you have donald trump dumping on joe biden without any basis, lies, propaganda, it's right there on

facebook. nobody stops it. they allow it. you have things like that video of nancy pelosi appearing drunk, doctored video. >> greg: by who? >> juan: nancy pelosi says please take it down. it's obviously wrong. what does facebook do? we can't do that. >> dana: that what is the whole discussion. >> juan: hang on. he goes to dana and says oh yeah, this is a first amendment issue. we protect free speech. you know what? he is protecting his profits. that's all he cares about. >> dana: they make about pocket change on political ads. pocket change. >> juan: that's what i said to you yesterday. >> dana: i don't think -- the only thing that that would help is people already established. >> juan: yeah, no. that's his argument. his argument is that small-time politicians. what we see is what we know from the 2016 campaign these guys are going on about is the russians. >> greg: russians. >> juan: were so aggressive in using facebook to divide america. >> jesse: relax, they are in the world series.

>> dana: i will make a you a promise in the next block. lady gaga gives fans scare of a lifetime. that video is next in the fastest 7 ♪ ♪ managing lipids like very high triglycerides, can be tough. you diet. exercise. but if you're also taking fish oil supplements, you should know, they are not fda-approved, they may have saturated fat and may even raise bad cholesterol. to treat very high triglycerides, discover the science of prescription vascepa. proven in multiple clinical trials, vascepa, along with diet, is the only prescription epa treatment, approved by the fda to lower very high triglycerides by 33%, without raising bad cholesterol. look. it's clear. there's only one prescription epa vascepa. vascepa is not right for everyone. do not take vascepa if you are allergic to icosapent ethyl or any inactive ingredient in vascepa.

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[laughter] >> jesse: sorry. >> emily: she brought a fan onto the stage and they were dancing and fell off. yes, that was a fan. >> jesse: i know. >> emily: i can't talk because i have fallen once. >> jesse: good for career. good buzz. >> greg: she needed help. >> jesse: haven't heard anything from lady gaga for years. >> dana: hillary clinton is not doing that. >> jesse: maybe she should. >> greg: this is why i have eliminated any kind of like contact with my fans on my show. but i have -- do we have a picture from -- this is me with tom shillue, do you know what i'm doing on live show i'm intimidating jasper. sitting on a chair and jasper decides that he is going to sit on the chair. >> dana: is that true? >> greg: i do that in my show. >> dana: someone send me a video of that i want to play it. >> juan: a new meaning to that old phrase break a leg.

i'm just so impressed with her. because i think that if someone's weight is on top of you when you fall, it could be crushing. and she got back up, not only did she perform. she then showed that she was taking pictures with people -- i mean, she is a great performer. >> dana: one of the best things if you can fall off stage -- kidding. i have nothing. i'm offended by the ice bath. i think those are bad. they are bad for you. >> jesse: why? >> dana: just wait. there is a study coming out. >> emily: white knights -- >> greg: i do remember. >> crazed climate activists in london had to learn that the hard way after climbing on top of the train during rush hour. watch what happens next. [shouting] >> i love this. did you hear what that one guy shouted? he said i need to get to work to feed my kids.

protesting during 9:00 to 5:00 is a luxury. especially when all you are doing is preventing people from working and feeding their kids. i love it. >> greg: activists must have it easy. people probably have sick kids. they need to go to the doctor, and they don't have the luxury of being able not to worry about those things. and to disrupt people's lives. the thing that got me mad was there a group of british musicians, well-off musicians like tom york and brian emo supporting with the extinction organization. they don't have to use this transport. if they want to go they can just fly first class or fly private. they advocate the hindering of their own fans. i mean, what if -- what if these guys tried to shut down a radio head concert. i wonder how tom york would feel. >> jesse: it's called a tube. did you know that? for those of you guys that don't know or ohave never been who london. they call the subway the tube. you are supposed to commute through the tube if you believe in global warming. right? they should be out there on

streets protesting those little cars on the other side of the road. did you know they drive on the other side of the road in london? >> greg: you are a wealth of. >> dana: one thing you might not have known, jesses. those protesters were a bunch of merchant bankers. >> greg: nicely done. >> jesse: you mean merchant wankers. >> juan: that was good. they were rolling. [laughter] that was terrific. >> emily: finally, we use a lot of brain power on "the five, obviously. we were alarmed when we saw this study that said you might die earlier in life if you think too hard. scientists coming to this conclusion after comparing the brains of 100-year-olds to those who died in their six and 70's. this terrified me, obviously. >> jesse: why you? are going to live forever. [laughter] >> jesse: go ahead. >> greg: either your greatest or worst enemy.

>> emily: okay. fine. >> dana: when i first saw this headline i thought it said thinking too hard might make you short. because it is cut off. it didn't say shortened your life. i thought that's what happened to me and greg. we think too hard. >> emily: yeah. >> juan: i will tell you what. i initially took this seriously. and then i kept reading and it really wasn't about thinking too hard. it was about having too much neural stimulation constantly. and do you know what came to mind? they tell you if you want to go to sleep at night. don't read the ipad or don't look at that and that's just constant stimulation. it's not that you are thinking hard. it's that your brain zooming. >> jesse: read a book. jess. >> greg: it could be really dumb people who need to think extra hard to do basic things which is why i worry about morning joe. >> jesse: that's twice joe got hit today. >> greg: oh yeah. he deserves it. >> emily: all right. >> greg: just mad at you. >> emily: not at everybody. fan mail friday is next ♪

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there were tsunamis fourtin the world. and once they happened, we were in a major hurry to get to those regions to provide aid and support. it was very humbling to be able to help out all those people. it's my dream now to go into clean energy and whatever the next new fuel source is, that's where i want to be. i want to be on the front lines of implementation.

♪ more than a feeling ♪ when i hear that old. >> greg: yeah. fan mail friday. it's more than a feeling. first question. boy, i sound loud, emily.

matthew asked whose mind would you read if given the choice? juan? >> juan: i guess great matt mathematician. >> dana: that's good. >> juan: i would like to know how you think. i'm interested in how you think about the world. someone once told me grate musicians and matt my tuition think alike. i'm not a bad mathematician in school but now obviously if you ask me 2 and 2 is going to be a problem. >> jesse: i wouldn't read yours because we all know what you are thinking because you say everything. >> greg: that is true. >> jesse: you should see him in the green room like a constant stream of consciousness. we don't want to know all that stuff you are thinking but you share it anyway. >> greg: i have got to get it out of my brain. got to spray it on you, jesse. >> jesse: that's disgusting. i don't know. maybe vladimir putin. >> juan: yes. wait. we weren't supposed to mention anything. >> jesse: i'm sorry, juan. sorry to bring that up.

>> greg: dana? >> dana: i was going to say jasper before juan's answer. >> anna: mall. >> dana: i would love. >> greg: what if he didn't like you. >> jesse: he likes peter so much more. here comes again. be like heart broken. >> jesse: stop putting me on instagram. >> greg: i'm a dog. not a model. elm have any. >> emily: every boss. >> dana: i don't want to know. no i, i would not want to know. >> greg: i figured everybody would want to say wife. you would avoid that would avoid so many issues. >> jesse: you can just ask her what she is thinking, greg. she is your wife. >> greg: all right, i can't even say this name. what is the thing you cringe at when you see and/or hear yourself on tv, emily? >> emily: oh, god. just like i think when i'm -- like this moment right now.

>> greg: this moment? >> emily: haunt me. whenever i like do things like that beep beep beep and you make fun of me lady oh, god. >> juan: stop letting people bully you. you are doing great, juan. >> emily: oh, juan. >> greg: not going to help her. keep her down. >> juan: okay. >> greg: what things do you cringe at if you watching yourself on tv. >> juan: that's pretty rare. i think where is the young guy? obviously i get uptight about my hair. why -- what happened to all that hair? >> jesse: me, too. i don't listen to what i say i look at how i look. my tie is crooked. my hair looks great. i look stupid and my tie is crooked. [laughter] >> dana: i can't stand the sound of my own voice and rather i do than watch myself on television. >> greg: you are a noise sound person. something noises, people's phones and voices. >> dana: i think most people don't like the sound of

their own voice, right? >> greg: i love the sound of my voice. that's why i won't shut up. i love it. >> juan: sometimes dana says that female politicians you can't stand. >> greg: yes, every one. >> dana: not just me. women as politicians have a harder time because of their voice. >> juan: because of other women? >> greg: i'm with juan though. when i see myself on tv i just go what happened? what happened? because even before you know it you become this other person. and it's so gradual until you turn on the tv and did you go holy crap. i'm like almost 30. [laughter] what is the last thing you do before going to bed and have to keep that one clean, jesse. what is the last thing do you before going to bed. >> jesse: i say my prayers. >> greg: there you go. >> dana: you read the hobbit? >> jesse: i should. i should pray more.

>> greg: you should pray more. it's not going to help him. >> jesse: good for me. >> dana: what do you think? >> greg: i don't know. >> jesse: keep it clean he said. >> dana: i set my alarm. i don't even use an alarm. >> greg: this is like a "family feud" question. juan? >> dana: i don't want to answer it. >> juan: i read books at night. especially as it gets later. well, i'm tired. i'm done. i'm going to sleep. >> emily: literally last step is putting in my you are ear plugs. >> dana: every night? >> greg: do you live by a crane. >> dana: i should put ear plugs in all day. >> emily: travel ear plugs start to finish. >> emily: if i'm in the n. airport i have ear plugs in. >> juan: sleeping next to a woman whos ears are plugged and eyes are covered. >> not all the time with the eye mask but all the time with the ear plugs 1,000 percent. >> jesse: have you no idea what he is saying to you.

>> greg: last thing i do before going to bed, i walk home. do we have time? oh, one more thing is up next. ♪ roxanne ♪ i love you since i knew you if you have medicare, listen up. the medicare enrollment deadline is only weeks away. with so many changes, do you know if your plan is still the right fit? having the wrong plan may cost you thousands of dollars out of pocket. and that's why i love healthmarkets, your insurance marketplace. with their new fitscore, they compare thousands of plans from national insurance companies to find the right medicare plan that fits you. call or visit health markets to find your fitscore today. in minutes, you can find out if your current plan is the right fit or if there's another one that

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the health markets fitscore makes it easy to find the right medicare plan for you. healthmarkets doesn't just work for one insurance company. they work to help you and they do it all for free. ♪ your insurance market place, healthmarkets ♪ there may be medicare benefits and savings you're missing out on only healthmarkets has the free fitscore call the number on your screen before the deadline call healthmarkets now i am royalty of racing, i am alfa romeo. ♪ >> jesse: time for one more thick, dana. >> dana: a bit of a long week. need some of, this watch. ♪ ♪

>> dana: corny jokes. first one. why did the man stop selling computer parts? [laughter] emily? >> emily: i love this segment. >> greg: he wane out of drive. >> dana: yes. >> emily: rigged? >> dana: how does a computer get drunk? >> emily: a drink? >> dana: it takes screen shots. why did the powerpoint cross the road? >> jesse: to get to the other slide? >> dana: yes. good. why was the cell phone wearing glasses? it lost its contacts. okay, last one. how do trees use a computer? they log in. >> jesse: that was a tough one. >> emily: i'm horrible at that. >> dana: pretty good for a friday. >> jesse: new segment. jesse's fake news alert. you are going to be seeing a lot of these. so i wake up this morning and everyone is on twitter saying i'm a bad tipper.

all right? [laughter] it turns out some clown clipped me saying, you know, here, i will show you what i said. >> dana: the thing that really ticks me off is the ipad thing that they hold up in your face after they give you coffee and say do you want to tip me 10, 15 or 20%. >> jesse: right in front of them. i'm not afraid to go zero. all you are doing is handing me coffee. do you get a tip for that? >> jesse: all right. so i'm talking about a coffee shop, people. i'm not talking about a $500 meal at a restaurant. of course i tip 20, sometimes 30, sometimes 40%. >> greg: at those $500 restaurants you go to. you are a man of the people. digging hole so fast. >> jesse: i tip very well. i only stiff sometimes a burris that if they are just giving me the coffee. >> dana: don't stiff the burris that. >> jesse: or stick a dollar in the cup. make sure they see me stick the dollar.

>> greg: selfless guy. >> greg: you gave the guy who clipped you something else to clip. "watters' world" we have rand paul and democrats with trump derangement syndrome. derange room. >> greg: joe, emily compagno, kat timpf, tyrus. 10:00 p.m. watch it. or i will haunt you to your grey. now, let's go to this. greg's poor could you pine eating a pumpkin news. this happens a lot, by the way. go to the tape. here is ricco. he is at the cincinnati zoo. we were actually there, weren't we? there he is enjoying some pumpkin. >> emily: how cute. what is that? >> greg: it's a poor could you pine if you were listening. >> dana: not a hedgehog? >> emily: that's adorable. cutest thing. >> greg: beginning with a c. >> dana: not a hedgehog? >> greg: said it was a poor

could you pine. i don't like anybody at this table. i don't like anybody here. >> jesse: yuan? >> juan: girls just want to have fun. take a look at these american astronauts, both women on a five-hour spacewalk outside the international space station. that was a moment of history, folks. it was the first all female spacewalk. it's been 54 years since humans first walked in space. this comes a few months after nasa cancelled because they didn't have enough suits to fit women. this was a first. the two americans, christina cook and jessica meyer are the 14th and 15th women ever to walk in space. but all but one of the others are retired. as you can see from these pictures they are out there having a ball. americans just want to have fun. >> greg: you go girls. >> jesse: women in space. unbelievable. go ahead. >> emily: you guys, do you remember this?

[adams family theme song] ♪ ♪ >> emily: halloween pop-up where you can literalry rent the housed addams family house and stay in. $100 for four people a night. doing it to the nth degree. decorated in true fashion. you rang bell. how awesome is that by the way? i thought it was real. it's the next best thing. also when i couldn't find halloween picture when i was 10 or 11 wednesday. black cat. drop the mike. >> jesse: i

♪ this time i know it's for real. who picked the song? >> whose song is this? this is donna summer. this is like a love song and when i was in college i had a crush on someone and i played this, i blasted this in the square and did a little dance an a everything. >> like say anything, with the boom box. >> yes. it was kind of like that. it was a sad moment in my history. >> i love that it's summer, it's getting colder, i want to keep hanging onto summer as long as i can. thank you for d