before a different judge. and judges have a lot of power in the system. we will see what happens. >> neil: molly line, great reporting as usual. molly line on all of this out of boston and all to get their kids into those elite schools. here comes "the five." ♪ ♪ >> dana: hello, everyone, i'm dana perino, dagen mcghoul, juan williams, jesse williams and greg gutfeld in new york city. this is "the five." ♪ ♪ >> dana: top democrats now wondering if the current crop of candidates can beat president trump in 20206789 according to a new report anxious establishment party leaders are musing out loud about big names jumping into the race, quote: would hillary clinton get in the contributors wondered and how about michael r. bloomberg the former new york mayor? one person even mused whether mitchell obama would consider a late entry.

bret baier is here author of a new book three days at the brink. now you have all this time to talk about your book. i'm just kidding. >> greg: is that just a coincidence that you just happened to be here. >> bret: i just happened to be here. hi, greg. >> greg: hello, bret. how are you? you are my newman. >> bret: viewers like a different toss. they are not sure about the seinfeld thing. >> greg: you think the toss isn't working? >> dana: i think it's really funny. >> greg: when are you going to have me and jesse on the all-star panel. >> bret: come on down. >> jesse: i'm waiting for the phone call. >> greg: if not we are going to start our own non-bret baier hall of fame panel it. will be bret baier free. me, jesse, kat timpf and tyrus. >> bret: it will be better than the bret baier that you had on set. graduate. >> greg: that's true. >> dana: that was a cute bear. you are a cute baier, too. >> jesse: whoa. >> bret: is this how it works. >> dana: call hr.

>> greg: you just objectified a fair and balanced journalist. >> dana: what were we going to talk about? >> bret: democrats. >> dana: do you hear this amongst democrats. >> bret: i do. >> dana: are they thinking holy smokes we don't have anybody here that can beat trump? >> bret: there is a lot of anxiety. a ton of anxiety. michael bloomberg's name like real thought provoking democrats say going elizabeth warren is the nominee, donald trump is the nominee, that may be a mike bloomberg gets. in the problem is you have to get on balance within the next couple of weeks, actually, in a lot of these states. the logistics just don't work. >> jesse: yeah. well i know why donors are worried. if you look at trump's base, it hasn't cracked. the economy is strong. and none of these people on the democrat side had v. any knockout power. none of them has tapped into any movement the way trump did. none of them has a acullive personality like barack obama none of running on a w. or a national machine like hillary. if you look at the top guy, he is the two socialists can't get

a crowd outside of new york city. and the rnc carpet bombing the democrats on facebook. so then you hear, you know, if bloomberg wants to light half a billion dollars on fire, i just think that's landslide city. i don't think he is the name. >> juan: you guys are typically very cynical, skeptical of anything in the "new york times." the idea that the "new york times" says oh, boy, people are so nervous they're running to get john kerry, i don't hear anybody. >> dana: john kerry. >> juan: how about mitchell mice obama. what about oprah. maybe hillary is not the ticket. go back, bill clinton. oh yeah, let's get somebody else. remember that was bill clinton that you think was so great. people were saying let's get somebody else. this happens every time. >> dagen: big old democrat my dad would say with a lot of money liberal spin coming out of new york. he doesn't buy it. i will tell you why.

because mike bloomberg would have to degrump before he would ever run for president. he has to do a 30 day jerk cleanse. and then michelle obama look at the photos of her. shooting eye to eye at everybody not just donald trump and hillary clinton. she couldn't wait to get away from those people. she is selling out arenas, has the best selling memoir. she is not going anywhere near them. >> greg: hillary is like that person outside your condo waiting for you to get buzzed in so they can come right in behind. [laughter] >> greg: she is going to get right inside the building. >> dana: that is not allowed. >> greg: you don't know the polite well way to tell people. what are you saying i'm a thief? maybe you are a thief, we don't know. her problem is if she enters, and she still not number one, that is humiliating. she has got to be number one or it's nothing. but if she enters and liz is still in front of her, that's pretty sad. >> bret: don't you think the

hillary clinton thing. >> juan: bill well 16 percentage trump right now. we should flip flop this and say huh, if trump isn't the nominee, who might the republicans nominate? >> dana: the rnc is not wasting any time. they put out a new ad, not talking about personalities but talking about real big issues, including socialism. take a look. >> this socialist promoters, they should go there and see the reality of what's going on. >> this is how venezuelans spend most of their time now in line not for luxuries but basics. >> they focus on how to maintain the power. and if we have to maintain the power, we have to control everybody. >> dana: effective ad? >> greg: very much. so we talk about this all the time that there is a disconnect between the modern millennial political activist and what's going on around the world. being a socialist in the freest, greatest capitalist economy of all time, that's like being a snake in the

garden of eden. thought i would put a little biblical issue. have you read the bible lately. >> dana: every day. >> greg: thank god. >> dana: indeed. indeed. bret, you are a student and an author of history. and the president said this back at the state of the union in january of last year. he said this -- we will never be a socialist country. and he is trying to lay it out so here's the choice that you have in front of you. >> bret: i think it's an effective ad. not only that but the trump campaign has a ton of money. >> dana: so much money. >> bret: they will be spending money left and right. try to turn a place like minnesota that they really think they have a chance at. this ad is effective especially when you have a couple of candidates who are leading who have some progressive ideas that verge on democratic socialism. >> dana: they call themselves socialists. >> jesse: i thought the most effective part of the ad were the lines. if you live in a socialist country you are in line for healthcare and food and pretty much anything. >> greg: you are in line for lines.

>> jesse: showed all the chaos on the street that causes bad traffic. if you run on socialism creates long lines and bad traffic. i think that's a home run. >> juan: really? ever drive in new york? long line. >> jesse: thanks, de blasio. >> juan: that's it. i forgot. new york is not a capitalist country. >> jesse: call one person and i get all the food i need to the house. >> juan: in the middle of new york socialism. >> jesse: seemless is not socialism. >> juan: here's the problem with the ad. the ad is effective for people who want to buy it. the relates is bernie sanders elizabeth warren are not socialists. bernie sanders calls himself a democratic socialist. but not a socialist. >> greg: slicing it too thin. >> juan: control of means of production. >> dana: elizabeth warren says she a capitalist. >> dagen: which is a big lie. >> juan: young people we need to do better with healthcare. most americans agree. >> greg: i'm not looking at young people. >> juan: helping young people pay for their college tuition. most americans agree. we need to tax the rich more

so that they pay their fair share. >> dana: that's what they say about all of this. >> dagen: most people don't want their private insurance taken away from them, period. 70% of people who get employer sponsored insurance like it. satisfied with it. i have on my phone a photo i took this morning of a line outside of the post office because it was 9:35 and they wouldn't open the door. that is what -- that's all you have to remember. >> dana: jesse with the most excellent point. talk about your book for a moment. written by bret baier "three days at the brink" daring gamble to win world war ii. great book about history right before world war ii. >> bret: we could have lost the war. fdr, churchill and stalin get together at secret meeting in tehran, largely overlooked in history. they planned d-day and had that meeting not happened, had it all not come together, we could be speaking german on "the five." >> jesse: because dana is

doing her show when limbaugh comes on, i would like to just ask you to tell her the story that you told on rush limbaugh's show about how they got to tehran and how crazy that was. >> bret: it was. so fdr gets on the uss iowa the newest battle ship in the u.s. navy and they head over in u boat infested waters and they have a training exercise and a torpedo goes off and aims towards the uss iowa. they barely miss and they -- it explodes about 1,000 feet away. >> jesse: wow. >> bret: fdr is on the bridge clapping because he thinks it's part of the exercise. they almost took down the 32nd president. >> juan: you know what interested me is the relationship between fdr and someone as history views as such an impressive force as stalin. because you have in the book the relationship fdr is basically embracing him. >> bret: he is bending over backwards to try to get stalin sign on and churchill is warning about it. they obviously win the war, but they lost the peace.

because, after fdr dies, stalin is emboldened and that's the start of the cold war. >> greg: bret, two quick things i want to point out. i'm not in the index and i'm not in the acknowledgments. >> bret: that's true. i want to thank you publicly for all the help that you gave me on this book. >> greg: that will do. i think i am an inspiration on this book. >> dana: reader's guide. >> greg: perfect. >> dana: that was an important thing for you to have something for younger people. >> bret: it is. >> dana: you frayed they are not learning their history. >> bret: civics is lost. young reared's edition 9 to 14. my sons 12 and 9 are reading it or they should be. [laughter] >> dana: they dual an oral book report. >> greg: where are you going? >> bret: i'm going to chicago tomorrow and then atlanta and naples and then california. i'm going to do the show every day. so i will hear the toss from you. >> dana: are you going to new castle, wyoming? >> bret: i'm not. should i?

>> dana: yeah. that's where my family lives. >> greg: are you doing any shows that are going to be troubling? >> bret: vegas shows? >> dana: he did cbs this morning. >> greg: doing "the view." >> bret: no. >> greg: going to do rogan? >> bret: no. >> greg: who are your p.r. people. >> bret: doing this show. >> juan: you were on limbaugh. what was that like? >> bret: it was great. he was generous. rare event. historical conversation. >> juan: believe me, that's pretty good. >> greg: good moderate liberal that limbaugh. >> dana: bret, thank you. >> bret: thanks for having me on. >> dana: we love talking to you at the end of this show. president trump hits on impeachment maximize political impact. we will have it for you next ♪ don't mean that i won't be right by your side ♪ when you need me ♪ you can't see me ♪ in the middle of the night [ tires screech ] ♪

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♪ rainy day ♪ dream away ♪ let the sun. >> juan: president trump igniting a firestorm calling the impeachment inquiry a quote lynching. democrats, even some republicans furious and they say that the president has crossed the line. the white house is pushing back against the criticism. all of this comes as trump ramps up his attacks on both parties. >> these are dishonest people. but when they say the impeachment now begins, sean, this was the day of the inauguration. >> i think the republicans should get tougher. look. i think that the democrats are not good politicians. i think they have lousy policy. i think it's a travesty for our country. they are doing such a bad thing for our country. that's because the democrats are vicious and they stick together. >> juan: new report says democrats are slowing the impeachment timeline. they want to sharpen their public case. it's now possible the inquiry could extend into the christmas season jesse,

let me give you a choice here. trump knows what he is doing and he is distracting people by using a powerful racially charged word like lynching or, too: two he doesn't know the history, doesn't know that thousands of people were lynched in this country and, you know, principally black men used to control women intimidate them. >> jesse: i don't know. i know it's a racially charged word. very painful to a lot of people in this country. not a word that i would have used. just too loaded. but i know what he is saying, everybody gets the analogy about impeachment that they are doing this like a mob action in the middle of the night without due process rights. everyone has reported it. the democrats are admitted it. the witnesses can't be seen by republicans. you can't see evidence. can't see transcripts. all done in the dark. it just bothers me that yesterday on the show we talk about a democrat comparing trump to the

nazis. calling them hitler. democrats all last year said we are running con concentration camps at the border. i think kamala harris said jussie smollett was the victim of a modern day lynching. hillary clinton said the trump rallies remind her of lynchings. cuomo, just said last week on a radio show, the "n" word. not to mention bill maher said the "n" word last year. i do believe it was barack obama who just endorsed someone in black face in canada. but the point is for democrats to get on their high horse today and lecture other people about racially charged rhetoric or historically insensitive language is so preposterous. they need to look themselves in the mirror and just ask themselves am i total hypocrite? because i don't care when my side uses this language or when i myself use this language. i only try to weaponize this language to hurt the opposing party. and that's all that's going on here. >> juan: all right, so, dagen, part of what jesse

was saying, which was a powerful argument, lynching is not a constitutional process but, impeachment is a constitutional process by which, you know, the congress holds a powerful executive to account for any kind of wrongdoing. so, why the analogy? >> he uses strong language and, again, it's a distraction. >> juan: i understand that. >> dagen: yeah, it's offensive. it bothers me. i grew up in the rural south. i heard firsthand accounts of lynchings. nevertheless, he traffics in outrageousness. and people are taking the bait. number one. number two, what people are outraged by is the most formidable constitutional powerful of declaring war is impeachment process. and they are trampling on the democrats are, democratic norms and the institutions of this country and will come to bite them in the you know what. >> juan: all right. so, you know, dana, today there was something to be -- for the president to

distract people from, which was bill taylor, the u.s. ambassador went before the house and according to the news reports, because we haven't seen exactly what he had to say, he said that there was evidence of a quid pro quo. >> dana: right. so i think that the democrats keep having every day they have a new witness. and then they leak out little bits of the testimony and you have members of congress in there, mostly democrats that come out and they say whoa, i have never seen anything like it. it's unbelievable. and then they leak out these little pieces of information. that's why the president's process point is one that i think is pretty effective. democrats saying that they want to -- that they might carry this on. i think it does two things for democrats. it distracts their base into thinking that they are being tough on the president. and it also prevents their base from realizing oh my god, having the house is not enough. you don't have enough power to actually do anything if you only have the house. so, those are two things that work in favor of the democrats to keep this process going. but they do run a risk that

people will just get tired of it. they are not -- they are not able to pay attention. and the selective leaking out every day of little bits of testimony maybe it was explosive but how would we ever know if they do it all behind closed doors? >> greg: greg, i wanted to ask you about something that jesse said. jesse was making the case hypocrisy on the part of some of these democrats because, you know, sometimes they used words like lynching, right? >> greg: yeah. >> juan: a lot of people see trump as having a racially unsettling past. what do you think? >> greg: yeah, i mean, you left out jerry jerry nadler actually used the same terminology when he was discussing bill clinton referring to that oh, thank you for having that up there like. and the effort to impeach clinton he compared it to a lynch mob. everybody kind of does this. analogies are never perfect. but, you know what the thing is, here's the thing. you know, can you read donald trump's mind that he meant to offend blacks? do you actually think that that's what he is doing? do you think this was an

intentional ploy to bring up we could ask -- instead of relying on the media to mind read him, why don't ask you him. i will tell you this right now. trump is a terrible racist. because you have record unemployment for blacks, hispanics, and women. he signs a bill to upgrade martin luther king's birthplace for a national park. he signs criminal justice reform that 3,000 people, many of them minorities so they can return to their families. signed executive order to make historical black colleges and universities a financial priority. and then the republican senate passed antilynching legislation after 200 attempts. is he one of the worst racists ever. >> juan: what an argument. >> greg: thank you. >> juan: next up, the "new york times" blasted after praising hillary clinton's attacks on tulsi gabbard. don't go anywhere. we are going to talk about it next on "the five" ♪ raspberry beret ♪

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♪ freedom ♪ freedom ♪ >> jesse: hillary clinton bitter as ever. she refuses to give up the spotlight and can't get over her loss to trump. the failed candidate is now being brutally mocked for claiming 2020 democrat tulsi gabbard is a russian asset. but, of course, the "new york times" is defending her. touting clinton as, quote: master troll. welcome to hillary unplugged for most of her public career mrs. clinton has been constrained by the expectations of her position be it first lady, senator, or secretary of state. now, after her stunning loss in 2016, it seems she finally feels liberated to speak her mind. greg, have you noticed liberated crooked? >> greg: yes. i believe she is trolling. trolling is now officially an old person's word. if the "new york times" is using it, it's like your granddad putting on his baseball cap on backwards on his way to a black crow's reunion. [laughter] >> greg: it's like when you are playing cold play and

your mom says i like that song and you just throw the album away. [laughter] >> greg: that is dead now to me. i will never call anybody a troll or talk about effective trolling. thank you, "new york times." >> jesse: what do you think about this puff piece? they seem to be enamored by hillary. >> dana: the "new york times" think they did her wrong. she thinks they gave the email thing too much attention, et cetera. >> juan: she thinks? how about all of us think? >> dana: this week you hads youd the last two presidential runners up for the wrong reengeg. you had bernie sanders today saying like don't say that about tulsi gabbard. we don't need to have any of that here. tulsi gabbard gets all of this additional attention and mitt romney. >> jesse: you mean what's his name? >> dana: pierre. two people spent their entire careers as the viable presidential candidate. criticized for too canned

and too scripted. now you are seeing the other side of that. >> jesse: do you like this new hillary, juan? tweeting, saying sassy things? >> juan: unplugged. to get back to greg's analogy. this is her. to pick up on what dana was saying, when i look at people who lost the presidential races at mitt romney, john mccain, john mccain was back in the senate going after barack obama as i recall. mitt romney ran for senate and won in utah. now he has something to say about trump, right? nobody tells these guys to shut up why would you say, hillary, the lady should shut up. >> dana: everybody tells him to shut up. >> greg: i do. >> juan: tulsi gabbard, tulsi gabbard is not only in terms of the possibility of russia wanting her and encouraging her with all this stuff online, she said that no matter, even if she doesn't win the nomination, she plans to go to the convention and create turmoil and i just think what is -- are you rooting against the democrats even as you run for the nomination? >> juan: kind of like ted

cruz caused turmoil with trump in cleveland. you loved that though. >> juan: of course. >> jesse: what do you think? >> dagen: my favorite times of that "new york times" piece for most of her public career mrs. clinton has been restrained by expectations of her position. by be it first lady, senator, a secretary of state. hillary clinton has only been constrained by trying to be somebody she is not. to be likeable, to be understanding, to be empathetic rather than just pathetic. her latest look is a has been gasping for relevance. this is the equivalent of an almost 72-year-old woman taking butt selfies and putting them on instagram. >> dana: i don't know if anybody has ever done that. >> jesse: belfiess i think those are called. >> dana: only now is hillary clinton a master troll. ask monica lewenski.

>> greg: wow. >> jesse: referencing emails. someone, i had think it was on cnn. >> greg: name is jeffrey. >> jesse: let's listen to jeffrey. >> this is also a story about the news media, about how much time we spend on that. and that's something that i have felt a great deal of personal responsibility for. i think i paid too much attention to them. and i regret that and this story turns out to be a big nothing. and we spent months on it. hillary clinton very likely lost the election because of it. and i think i should have been talking about other issues, not about the emails. >> greg: let me get this straight, jeffrey tuben and his entire life, that's what he regrets? you think there would be other things. [laughter] that's all i'm saying. >> jesse: you were thinking about covering russia collusion for two years? >> greg: regret that too. that was a nothing. >> juan: wait a second. here's the fact. the state department, right?

this has been investigated. they said zero. and you guys don't even say you know what? >> jesse: zero what, yuan? >> juan: that she did nothing wrong there was no scandal, didn't do anything wrong. >> jesse: didn't do anything wrong. obama did anything wrong. hillary did nothing wrong. nobody does anything wrong. >> juan: a minute ago you said trump is complaining because this impeachment is terrible. so the process goes forward. hillary is found to have no -- no -- nothing done wrong, and you still won't say it. >> jesse: comey let her off the hook. that's how the cookie crumbles. up next is math racist? greg takes on this new example of liberal school insanity. got to watch this monologue next. ♪ ♪ ♪ that's why there's otezla. otezla is not a cream. it's a pill that treats plaque psoriasis differently. with otezla, 75% clearer skin is achievable.

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we are killing it. at least a ceilings public schools are trying. the district wants to rehumanize math because absolutes are emblematic of oppression. according to reason.com. they are proposing a new social justice up fused curriculum that would focus on quote power and oppression within math. fine. i mean, does 2 plus 2 really equal 4 or does 2 plus 2 equal white privilege? by the way that plus sign looks like a cross, a violation of the separation between church and state. but who needs hard math anyway to build bridges and roads? nothing but scars on the beauty of nature. we can just feel our way around a river. bring galacious. look at what math has done to my body one math at a time. i relied on engineers who did actual math before reduced to hard sciences to room temperature silly putty. if i had brats, i would move the hell out of seattle to a place that rewards literacy and timetables. because if we start thinking that math is secondary to

ideologies dictated by useless grad students who can't read or write the world stops working. the wings on your plane may start flapping and the tires on your car may start believing in a flat earth. engineers and mathematicians keep us moving. once the workplace becomes the woke place, how will you get to your gender studies class then? by the way, jesse, this is just a proposal i don't know if it's going to happen. i'm doing my best to stop it as a lone voice in the heroic wilderness. >> jesse: i'm confused by the story because i'm terrible at math. and math is racist. but i'm also white. so, i don't know if i'm too dumb to be racist or not racist enough to be good at math. right? like am i the victim of my own reverse racism? or am i too dumb for my own white privilege? this is like a math problem

that i can't solve. >> greg: have you officially outwiloutwillard. you are now a performance artist. [laughter] >> greg: yuan, there ison, thers nothing less colored blind that i math. start putting social justice philosophy into math what's going to happen. >> juan: if we accept the premise that white kids, brown kids all have the same potential intellectually geez, look at the standardized test scores, black and brown kids perform less well. i think you have a situation where that's not good and you have educators who want to try to do a better job of figuring out how do we deal with this and how can we help these kids perform better on this subject? dana had, i believe it was one more thing the other day, where she had a teacher who was working with kids that she made rap music part of or he made rap music part of it. that's a way to try to

improve what we know is potential that's untapped in terms of minority kids and what they call the stem subjects and science. >> greg: yeah. >> juan: okay. i think it's a good idea, greg. >> greg: what do you think, day began, if that's your real name? >> dagen: how do you level the playing field injecting judgment and opinion into mathematics which by its own nature is objective. not subjective. >> juan: not there. >> dagen: what's not there is good teachers and better education. again, we rank 30 out of 35 developed nations in math matmathematics skills. it's because the teachers don't teach. i went through that i went to public schools. one of the worst public schools in the state of virginia. my parents spent good money and sent me away to school. and i remember barbara bath my math teacher. ms. mcdowell, you are not stupid you are just uneducated. math is power. it's liberation. it is brilliance. we need more of it. >> greg: i hated calculus,

dana. i was so good in math until i got to the hard stuff and then it was like it made me feel so low. >> dana: i remember a day that we started doing fractions and i was in fourth grade. always like the best student. i was like wait, what did she just say? and i remember, and especially for women, young girls right, they always say i'm not good in math. we have spent decades saying no, everybody has the same potential. and i was mentioning in the commercial break i love the movie hidden figures about the amazing african-american women that worked at nasa. there was racism against them in the workplace. they were discriminated against the woman who had to walk 10 minutes to find a bathroom because she wasn't allowed to use the white people's bathroom that was actual racism. what set them apart? they could all do math? so i think this is crazy. >> greg: i'm just not into solving for x. it's like why don't you just tell me what it is. do we need to solve for x? >> jesse: only if we need to find out how much to tip.

>> greg: i thought you don't tip, jesse. >> jesse: just sign your name then. >> greg: stop looking at your phone. and start paying attention to your kids. who wrote this? i would never say that. more on america's tech addiction next. ♪ ♪ performance comes in lots of flavors. there's the amped-up, over-tuned, feeding-frenzy-of sheet-metal-kind. and then there's performance that just leaves you feeling better as a result. that's the kind lincoln's about. ♪

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♪ >> dagen: america's tech addiction impacting how people are racing their kids. 69% of parents feel addicted to their phones and spend almost as much time scrolling as they do with their kids. 50% of parents have been asked by their own children to put their phones away. daddy o waters? >> jesse: yeah, i have been asked that. it's really humiliating. i don't like to talk about it but i will because i'm paid to. i was at dinner the other night and entrees were taking forever. i could tell the girls were getting close to going to bed and screaming and having a fit. do you know what i did? took my phone, gave it to them and they put on youtube kids and they were great until the entrees came out. there are certain times to use the phones effectively. if you are with the kids it's good to not touch the phone and don't make an excuse it's like oh, i'm working. we have that excuse because we are in the news business. oh, yeah, checking twitter, researching for "the five." you are not. you are looking on instagram. that's the truth.

>> dagen: i think the lie in this survey respond dents said they spent 2 hours and 17 minutes of personal time on phones, 2 hours and 41 minutes of quality time with their kids. i don't think they are spending maybe five minutes with those kids. dana? >> dana: well, i don't have children. i have a dog. >> greg: you have jasper. >> dana: the dog doesn't like the phone either. did i hear some good advice from kim strassel who is a fox news contributor "wall street journal" columnist. she said on the weekends she has a box and everybody, she has three children, and her significant other, everybody put the phones in the box. locks it and no one can use their phone. sounds a little extreme, but it really is for forced family fun. >> jesse: forced family fun. [laughter] >> greg: two points. one, apple forced an update on my phone and since then it has been an absolute disaster. they moved the trash can where i used to reply now when i want to reply i just

trash everybody. my password sticks. they have made this very hard on me. having said that about this phone, phones are better than children, okay? they don't let you down. you can carry them around wherever you want to go. you know, technology is a better version than all of us. we think the mona lisa is amazing. oh, look at this beautiful a much better version of mona lisa, could do 1,000 of them in ten minutes. we appreciate art and imament becausentertainment. we are so bad at it. one great book out of a million people. we can get a million books out of one laptop. we should just embrace technology they are our children. our children we don't need them. >> jesse: did you say the mona lisa is overrated. >> greg: yes, it is. have you looked at it lately. >> jesse: not lately but i have looked at it. [laughter] >> greg: i tried to outdo you in absurdity and i think i failed. >> jesse: all right.

well, listen, you must like sex robots because sex robots. >> dana: what? >> jesse: i'm serious. take that to the logical conclusion. you are saying this is better than a human being? >> greg: well, no. you know what? >> jesse: you need the human touch, greg. >> juan: i think i will stay out of this conversation. [laughter] >> greg: wisest move. >> juan: i like kids and i like grand kids and i think it's interesting for me because what you described at the dinner table is the other way. so, their parents will give them -- they give them screens. >> jesse: the whole dinner? >> juan: hey, talk to me. i would like to know how your week was. the parents want them on the screens because then the parents are able to engage in adult conversation. >> jesse: right. they need that adult conversation to stay sane. >> juan: right. i also would like to know my grand kids and kids. guess what? the kids, you know, especially my daughter who is a lawyer, she will pick up the phone and she will be like dude, i'm working. people are asking me -- i'm

thinking more like well, let's just exercise some personal discretion here and say this is family time. >> jesse: now, if you tell your kids to do that, what do they say? >> juan: they don't. >> jesse: they don't listen to you no more. >> juan: in fact, she doesn't let the kids have any of those mobile devices during the week, during the school week. it's limited to the weekends. and then, of course, at dinner, family dinnerrer. >> jesse: you only see them on the weekends. that's your problem. i'm with you, juan, i'm with you williams. >> juan: thank you. >> dagen: i would still rather build a fort than be on this one. >> dana: lock your phone in a creek. >> dagen: thanks, robots. one more thing next. ♪ ♪ in the navy ♪? the navy ♪ ♪ an warfarin...

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were you going to tell me about this? i know i can't afford to go. i still have this car so you can afford to go. i am so proud of you. thanks. principal. we can help you plan for that. start today at principal.com. here hold this. follow that spud. [ tires screech ] the big idaho potato truck is touring america telling folks about idaho potatoes. and i want it back.

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♪ ♪ it's time for one more

thing. greg? get. >> greg: we should do that story tomorrow. >> dana: i think you should do a monologue on it. >> greg: the waxing story. okay. let's do this. ♪ animals are great ♪ animals are great ♪ animals are great ♪ >> greg: i don't know what i'm talking about except, you know what? i hate always being the third wheel when you are out with a couple. like this poor fellow here. you know, they are sitting at a restaurant enjoying cucumber and poor little guy left out of the whole scene. and do you know what? they should be making that little fellow feel a little bit more welcome and share bunnies are overrated just like the mona lisa. the mona lisa is overrated and so are the bunnies. look at the little guy. he is going to cry. ♪ animals are great. animals are great ♪ >> dana: always include your friends if you take them on a date. >> dana: all right, jesse?

>> jesse: check out this burning tree in trinity texas. it got struck by lightning. look at that fire engulfing the interior of the tree. a study out of seattle now that says lightning is racist and we are going to be doing that tomorrow. there you have it. >> dana: is that true? >> jesse: yeah, discrimination. very selective. >> dana: you will have to explain that to me. a mother of two. she had a sleepness night because she was convinced there was a ghost baby in bed with her son. marissa sebil she spotted the infant's feet staring at her through her 18-month-old's son baby monitor. at first she thought her eyes were playing tricks on her and tried to ignore her. the image continued to creep her out. she couldn't get good enough look and she was really upset about it. turns out her mind was put at ease when she realized her husband just forgot to put the mattress protector on when she changed the sheets and the ghost face was just a baby's face on like the label.

>> greg: i don't believe that. look at that whole thing. >> greg: i don't believe it at all. i think it's fake news. >> dana: you think it's a ghost? >> yes. it's fake booze. boos. >> juan: that's good. >> dana: that question that guy asked you on twitter, i can see why they are asking. yuan? >> juan: maybe i'm amazed at the way you love me all the time. that's the way paul mccartney put it. take a look at this. what do you do on your 72nd wedding anniversary? here are 91-year-old sweet hearts leonard and shirley mattis of burlington, colorado. still in love after all these years. and so shirley got dressed up in a radiant pink gown for the anniversary. the nurses at the senior living center organized the photo shoot on the special date for them. the couple have seven children in addition to grandchildren and great grandchildren. one daughter says while shirley now has dementia she has no problem recognizing

one person, leonard, the man she called, quote, the love of her life. love to love you. isn't that wonderful? >> dana: that is very sweet. excellent job there. day began, take youdagen? take your time. >> dagen: i'm taking my time so i don't have anything offensive. lovely elderly couple. i love corgie. held during halftime seahawks week seven game againsts ravens. there you go the dog named dwayne "the rock" johnson was the real mvp pete seven other corgies. second annual cup. i have a favorite corgi on the internet willow. take a look. >> greg: great ears. that is a corgi. [laughter]

>> willow howls when she eats. >> greg: that was a howl? >> dagen: she has that little howl at the end. i literally have spent 30 minutes during my day today watching that video over and over and over. >> juan: it calmed your anxiety. >> greg: i hear that coming allot from kilmeade's office. he doesn't have a dog. >> dana: he has two dogs. one of them is deaf. >> jesse: how do you know if a dog is deaf? >> dana: because it doesn't come. >> dana: like this. >> dana: honestly i have one question, america. what has happened today? [laughter] what has happened today on our show? what are you going to eat tonight? >> greg: friday chicken. seem fried chicken and corn. no cucumber for me, my friend. i can't wait. it's going to be a big bucket of love. >> dagen: can i make a suggestion though? do not order delivery fried

chicken. get it out of the fryer. as a southerner best advice. >> greg: too lazy. >> dagen: you got to eat it hot out of the fryer. >> greg: i can't do that. >> dana: never miss an episode o of "the five." "special report" is up next. bret, we enjoyed having you. >> bret: i'm sorry i left. [laughter] president trump draws a lynching on capitol hill. tells impeachment inquisitors his version of event surrounding the phone call of ukraine's leader and what was happening on the ground and why is current senator and former republican presidential nominee mitt romney using a secret twitter account? this is "special report." ♪ ♪ good evening. i'm bret baier in new york tonight, we are all about the words tonight. president trump is using one of the flash point words in this country's long history of troubled race relations

to portray himself as a victim in the