allowing me to sit in the chair. it's an honor and privilege. have a great weekend. god bless the men and women away this thanksgiving. let's them about them in ourcha. jeff, thank you, my friend. >> ♪ >> ♪ >> hello i am jesse watters with emily, juan williams, dana perino and greg. it's 5 o'clock in new york city and this is "the five." >> ♪ >> ♪ >> president trump fired up and fighting back against impeachment in a big way. after adam schiff's spectacle. democrats could be ready to draw up four articles of impeachment next month. president trump told them go for it. >> frankly, i want a trial. >> you want a trial? >> oh, i would -- look, number 1, they should never ever impeach. that phone call was totally

appropriate. >> and trump scoring top house democrats pushing impeachment. >> nancy pelosi is totally incompetent. she doesn't know what she is doing. i have to deal with crazy nancy. crazy as a bed bug. she is nuts! what she is doing and she is not talented. all she is doing is sitting. not doing any work for the people. adam schiff is a sick puppy. adam schiff is a nut job. adam schiff gets up before congress and he made up my statements. >> crazy as a bed bug. i haven't heard that before. >> that's a new one. >> it's like listening to sports talk radio. i am starting to see the impeachment hangover. everybody is coming back. all of the liberals and the dems are coming back from a 3 day be

bender in vegas and you drank cheap vodka and you come back home. you still have work and the bills piled up and you have nothing to show for it. what do you do when the drugs wear off. you have been mainlining the apocalypse for 3 years and the dems need an intervention. there are too many drug dealers in the media providing a free take. they say this new stuff is a distraction. it's not a distraction when you want to return to the scene of the crime where it all began. the distraction is the impeachment designed to obscure the fact that the economy is amazing. unemployment at a historic low scaan and. >> the president says he wants a trial in the senate. there are certain advantages. >> yes. they are going to do it.

jim jordan the congressman on the republican side said it's inevitable. the house and democrats will go for impeachment. it will be a party line vote. mitch mcconnell will have the opportunity in the senate. the senate is a different scenario. that's more like a trial. they get to call witnesses. they could call adam schiff and the congressman from california. if impeachment had an overwhelming and obvious conclusion, i woo would all know it right now. it didn't. people will go into the holiday weekend. if they come back in december and they still want to talk about this, people are going to tune out. >> juan, how is your hangover? >> i think the question of the day is the president spent an hour on fox and friends this morning. let me think about this. why would he do that?

>> the best show on morning tv. >> i agree. but an hour from the president. i think it's like, you know, an opportunity -- we have great ads on fox. we will sell you anything. >> i love the underwear. i plank in the kitchen. >> he is selling the idea he is okay. it's like a boxer. the third round his eye is all swollen and his nose is bleeding and he raises his hands to the crowd, i am fine. that call was just perfect. not only that, guess what? these democrats they don't have the votes. nancy is a bed bug. schiff is a sick puppy. >> i saw it more as a victory lap. >> no. here's what i thought. he has to keep you in line. he has to keep all of the red hats in line and a don't worry, nothing happened.

ignore all that happened. i am okay. we are on the winning side. >> i think the red hats have been in line for a long time, emily. >> the first step of a white house defensive. especially the next step is a senate trial, i think that it's a delicate situation for the gop. moderate voters and the average citizen is fatigued with the hyper-politization of this. the gop has been handed this big limp fish. it's up to them to keep pointing it out. they don't have to come swinging. they don't have to roundhouse what might be able to be sold by highlighting the fact this is a limp, dead, gross fish. >> oh, wow! >> another big story the president is reacting to reports that a former fbi employee may have altered a key document connected to the surveillance of the trump campaign.

listen. >> what you are going to see, i predict, will be perhaps the biggest scandal in the history of our country. political scandal. you will see things that will be incredible if it's done right. i purposely stay out and tell bill barr to handle everything. we have a fisa report coming out. the word is it's historic. the highest levels of government they were spying on my campaign. this is my opinion. personally i think it goes all the way. >> i think he means all the way to obama. new evidence expected to be outlined in this new doj watch dog report on december ninth. dana i don't put a lot of stock in the ig. i think the real actions durham in 2020. the "new york times" identified who this guy is who fudged the notes to get the wiretap on the trump campaign.

kevin kleinsmith who was fired from the mueller team investigated donald trump. he was on the hillary clinton team on the email server. he has text messages that came out the day after trump won in november 2016. oh, no my gd-name is all over these legal documents that we deserved donald trump's staff with. he questioned papadopoulos too. >> the "new york times" reported it looks like the horowitz ig-report will say yes to tap in at this low level but will say they made no findings of political's biassed actions by comey, mccabe and peter strzok. this ig-report will be underwhelming for the president's supporters. no one will believe it.

>> i don't know. we will wait until we get the report. >> i would like to jump to c conclusio conclusions. >> [laughing]. you are talking to the right guy. >> i will be cnn. this is the turning point. a bombshell, when everything changes. bigger than watergate. it's 7 watergates times 12 cubed. you know the phrase what is good for the goose is good for the gander. the pendulum swung in this direction. trump did horrible things. now it will swing back. we get to see him have his fun. the government won't get anything done. then he will get reelected. >> exactly. >> you had it right? >> did i? >> yes, he said let's down play this thing. let's wait on durham. this is going to be zip.

but it's going to give the people in the far right conspiracy theory world to say this is the real story. it's not trump impeachment. we don't need john bolton or rudy giuliani. >> [overlapping talking]. >> the power of the state to surveillance its own citizens with tremendous. the only safeguard is the warrant application process. i wish there was outrage over stop and frisk and facial recognition technology here. if only the ultimate conclusion it's deemed inconsequential, it tears down all of the credibility. as an attorney i never submitted one word without many eyes and approval including my own team. this is a rogue blind attorney,

that's 100% unbelievable. >> it goes straight to the top. >> all right, coming up. president trump mocks 2020 democrats and obama tells them to chill out. ♪ let me go ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. geico would like to take a moment to say thank you to our military service members at home and abroad

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>> ♪ >> president trump going hard after his 2020 rivals. >> i don't know if joe can make it mentally. he is off. pete i call him alfred e.newman from mad magazine. i don't see him dealing with president xi or kim jong-un.

maybe biden as the general. i think pocahontas has come up from the embers. i hit her too early. i came up with this name that stuck nicely. >> bloomberg? >> i don't see it. his time as come and gone. >> after warning candidate about going too far left. barack obama has more advice: everybody needs to chill out about the candidates. we won't win by increasing the turnout of people who already agree with us on everything. >> you mean obama? >> yes. >> i was thinking trump. >> [laughing]. >> dana can tell you this too. there has been a lot of anxiety among the donor class about the democratic candidate. the question is: who is on it.

michael bloomberg former mayor of new york getting in. what president obama is saying, hey, slow down. or chill out and realize that this will settle. you have to focus on the idea that whoever is there, has got to beat donald trump. you can get almost universal agreement among democrats. >> jesse, an interesting poll i want your opinion on. would men before their favorite team or favorite candidate to win by a landslide? >> the candidate. >> how do you feel about that? >> [laughing]. >> a couple of years ago trump won and the eagles won so i am good. i got what i wanted. >> you are set for life. >> a lot of people don't care about politics. they just care about their favorite team. that's a lot of people especially when you have people like crooked hillary running. if it's a toss up you would like

to see the chicago cubs win or a team that never won like the eagles. if it's a close call like that. i don't think it means that much. >> should a team run for office against a person? >> yes, the redskins. >> so juan can't say their name. >> i thought you were rooting for the bad luck bears for a second. >> some teams have had a drought. >> the effects from the far left candidates go further than just this election and might reach into future democrats and republicans. >> maybe. there is a constituency in the democratic party that is far left. bernard hasn't changed one bit. >> he's been grumpier. >> maybe. >> campaigning differently. aoc look at him with such

admiration. think elizabeth warren's campaign the medicare for all plan was a fatal flaw. a friend described her as a substitute teacher that assigns home work. that's a good description. i don't know who will come out of this. i really don't. i don't think their debate in december 5 days before christmas will get a lot of attention. >> it's been a long week. >> candidate biden had an entering exchange with peter doocy. >> i wonder if you have a comment on this court filing out of arkansas that your son hunter made you a grandfather again? >> no, that's a private matter. i have no comment. >> [shouting]. >> you are a good man. >> thank you guys.

>> [laughing]. >> peter, peter, peter. do you have a question? >> yes, what are your thoughts? >> i totally understand him being ticked off for being asked that question. he didn't see this coming. biden had no idea that his son would end up taking down his campai campaign. i think biden will be gone. i think obama sees how weak the field is. he is like the retired coach of a successful team. returning to practice. he is going to the new guy in charge, look, man i won 2 super bowls. you are 0 and 10. get your act together. the problem is obama is responsible for pulling the party left. now he is older and sees how left it is. he is dr. frankenstein and elizabeth warren is the monster. >> he is saying you can be left. you have to say it differently so people won't hear it.

it has to be disguised. >> yes, you have to deceive the voters. >> exactly. >> only from your perspective he is so far left. >> not anymore. >> i think americans think obama was pragmatic. one last thing, sorry, trump said right now what he said in the phone call to zelensky. biden is the biggest threat to beat him. >> obama has to poop or get off the pot. who does he want? he could decide this. >> he is not going to do. >> you wait and you get hemorrhoids. >> [laughing]. >> up next more trouble brewing for prince andrew. jeffrey epstein accusers are demanding he speak to the fbi. what if numbers tell only half the story? at t. rowe price, hundreds of our experts go beyond the

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attorney general william barr calling epstein death a perfect storm of scree ups. earlier this week two prison guards were fired for filing false records on the night of epstein's death. the news is what you see is the prince is no longer going to a charity event. apparently his image would damage the charity. the queen said he can step away from all royal responsibilities. what is going on? >> well, he got kicked out of the royal family. they cut his allowance out. the queen wants nothing to do with him. he is a disgrace. i don't know how he gets out of it. apparently he wants to do another tv interview. how cocky, i will clean this up. let's do another one. i care about what he can tell

the fbi. that would restore any honor dignity if it was anything to begin with. i trust bill barr who said there is an active investigation into who helped epstein and federal prosecutors in new york also has an active investigation. >> who helped him procure women and not commit suicide? >> exactly. they are trying to find out what happened in the correctional facility. the head of the bureau of prisons testified this tuesday and chewed out by the senate. the most famous federal inmate. everybody goes to sleep and he ends up dead. these people are on line shopping all night and now they are charged with conspiracy. they will go to jail. bill barr is zeroing in on something. >> before i ask the next yes, you can get thrown out of the royal family?

but you were born into it. >> unofficially. >> juan, you said he was relieved from his royal duties. that's not like because of his behavior. it's the british way of saying get the f out. >> whoa, whoa, whoa! >> [laughing]. >> it's friday night. >> [laughing]. >> oh my god! >> [laughing]. >> he's filthy. >> [laughing]. >> okay, okay. >> the queen is saying get out. if you are prince andrew a convenient place to stay with the ritz because you are wealthy. you don't have to stay at epstein's house. that's not convenient. that's for another reason. what bothers me we are supposed to play stupid. we don't really know what was happeningy. >> went to pedophile island and

admited it on camera. >> he stayed with epstein after epstein had been convicted. >> this is not the story. what were his duties? he is a free loader. the media movedo quickly after this guy died. like the kid who sets fire to the dog crap, rings the door bell and runs away. we longer trust the institutional media. you think about all of the crimes that were committed that the media accepted. did marilyn monroe kill herself? she was death a kennedy. jimmy hova. -- hoffa. >> he said he thinks epstein killed himself. >> i don't think you can be sure of anything anymore because of

the media's behavior. eric winestein called this life altering. this world has always been there the way the press is. this is how we are manipulated. no one cares about how epstein made his money. did he are have clients? did he work for the government? we don't know. why doesn't the media care? >> he was involved with the owner of the victoria secret situation and he would trade to get international models under-age. >> there are no angels. >> next i want to go to perry mas mason. i have a question for you, legal wise lady. this woman virginia continues to say that she was set up by epstein with the prince. how does she make her case? will they force him come to the

u.s. and sit in the courtroom and face charges? >> ultimately he will have to answer to her charges he raped a minor. in terms of the threats going on. we have the attorneys for the civil suit saying cooperate with the fbi. there is a civil thread and the u.s. has to go through the foreign office of london to get him to respond. it has to be specific and a relevant trial at that time. the only thing compelling him in that way is our relationship with the royals and with great britain. if he decides to provide information, but there is likely other bigger fish that know more than him. on the criminal side, we would have to compel through the foreign office which gives them the ability to say yes or no. he would have to answer to those charges if there was a criminal charge. at this point it's the preliminary investigation. he is not bound to it immediately.

in the queen mother wants to put him back in the good graces it opens the possibility. >> extraditing the prince. don't go anywhere. it's friday and the fastest-7 is coming right at you. up next. >> ♪ maria ramirez? hi. maria ramirez! mom!

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want nothing. the impeachment remix is getting a new version. >> ♪ >> ♪ >> and then there is this one. >> ♪ >> ♪ ♪ i want no ♪ quid pro quo ♪ i want nothing ♪ i want nothing >> do you love it, greg? >> it's 100 times better than anything put out by maroon-5. it's easy to make something catchy. and donald trump is the greatest content provider in the history of the world since the weather. we can do anything with the weather. we wake up and talk about the weather. trump has replaced the weather as a content provider. >> we love him. whoever will be next in the white house will be boring. >> juan?

>> can reminded me of jail house rock with a whistleblower. >> [laughing]. >> elon musk didn't expect this might happen. unveiling his new bullet prove pick-up truck. >> oh [bleep] god. maybe that was a little too hard. >> i have a theory, jesse. they knew that was going to happen and they did it for this viral moment because otherwise no one would be talking about this truck. >> he lost 700 million dollars because the stock price plummeted. >> i resent every taxpayer dollar that went into this. >> if you call it bulletproof. test it with bullets. >> juan, would you be caught driving that? >> no. i was surprised at what you think. i thought it was a fail and you

are telling me, no. it's smart marketing. >> i don't know. i would not put it past him. we can't believe anything anymore. >> we can't! >> can i quote scott adams twice. the good thing about elon musk is he is incapable of embarrassment. he will wake up and do something else. this doesn't bother him. he takes a risk. >> on the federal dollar's dime. >> exactly. >> thanksgiving is next week. we know how long it takes before you get sick of being around your family. a new study finds people can only last 4 hours until they need a break. emily, you will with your family. is this true? >> i don't think so. it's the average american and not me. i am grateful for every moment. >> yuck! >> bono said it best. with or without you, i can't live which explains the human

condition in a nut tele. -- nutshell. love is like a pair of fur loin handcuffs when i believe i left in a condo. >> get those before next week. >> [laughing]. >> drop them in the mail. that's mail. >> jesse, you love spending time with family. >> but they don't love spending time with me. they hit the 4 hour limit and say go watch football. there are some political problems there. >> [laughing]. >> i would love to be with you on thanksgiving. i can't get enough of y'all. i could be with you forever. >> [laughing]. >> what are you doing for thanksgiving? are you going to invite me and disinvite me like last year. >> no, invited you to a thanksgiving i was going to and i realized greg will hate this event and make fun of all of the people. >> why? >> i will tell you during the

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>> ♪ >> ♪ >> all right. "fan mail friday." answering your questions. love this question from gary: what was the strangest thing you have ever seen and could not explain? >> okay, i will tell you. when i was driving to a bon jovi concert. a tree fell over and landed on my car. it was a horrible accident. as it fell it looked like a big

black guy in the middle of the night. my brain could not articulate what it was. it filled up my whole window. it was horrible. >> that's pretty good. like when a giant animal lands on the hood of your car and you keep driving. juan, and do not say me? >> it's a tough one. i am not sure. thanksgiving is coming, though. i have seen some food items i could not explain prepared by relatives you can only take for 4 hours. >> creamed onions? >> yes. >> oh. >> jesse, what is the strangest thing you have ever seen and could not explain? >> i thought i saw a ufo one time as a child. it was an orb above my head on the porch. i reached out to grab it. once i tried to grab it, it floated away. i don't know if it was a dream or not. >> [laughing]. >> dana, i have nothing. >> oh, come on! >> i see nothing weird. >> you live in new york city and

you walk home. there are at least 20 things you can't recognize on the street. >> no. >> don't you see like fluids or solids on the street? >> i am pretty sure i know what they are. >> [laughing]. >> i am pretty sure. >> i saw a guy wheeling his cello down the street. >> i am uninteresting. >> all right. i had a nightmare last night when you are semi conscious. there were three little aliens sitting on my bed. >> were you probed? >> yes, i was and i started screaming. >> move along. >> [laughing]. >> this is a good serious question. what would you like to be better at? dana, maybe answering facebook questions. >> i would like to be better at

pilates. >> i thought you just stretched. >> it's more than stretching. >> stretching for people with money. >> [laughing]. >> that's a great line. >> thank you. >> there should be a t-shirt. pilates is stretching for people like money. >> paying $100 to have someone stretch you. >> it's so true. >> that's a good one. what could you be better at, jesse? >> i was going to say tv. a lot of people say i am perfect. i think be better. >> [laughing]. >> juan? >> you are on tv. >> there is room for improvement. >> dancing but i don't practice it. if i practiced it, i could do better. >> would you go on dancing with the stars? >> no, if i go to the batting cage why can't a hit a fast

ball. >> emily? >> foreign languages. i would be able to be nope, nope. >> be less gullible. >> you know what drives me crazying? bowling. when you get a strike and you go this is super easy. then the next game it goes into the gutter. you end up with 120. it's always 120. >> we will be at the bowling alley for the christmas party. >> you are. i am not allowed at christmas party. what made you smile today, juan? >> i went for a walk with emily. it was raining. i thought this is kind of neat. >> that's nice. emily? >> everything. >> [laughing]. >> jesse? >> i did pilates on the street. >> [laughing]. >> [inaudible] from germany.

that's pretty good. he is better. >> i am glad. >> what made me smile and dana used the f-word. "one more thing" is up next. >> ♪ >> ♪ these days, we're all stressed. (honk!) i hear you sister. that's why i'm partnering with cigna to remind you to go in for your annual check-up, and be open with your doctor about anything you feel ph. . or the name of someone to talk to. to create a plan that works for you, visit cigna.com/mystressplan. cigna. together, all the way. visit cigna.com/mystressplan. we're oscar mayer deli fresh your very first sandwich,m... your mammoth masterpiece. and...whatever this was. because we make our meat with the good of the deli and no artificial preservatives.

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>> ♪ >> time for "one more thing." >> it's been a long week. we talked about. i. -- impeachment. i have impeachment things. >> oh. >> ♪ . >> written by our producers. what is president trump's favorite piece of construction equipment? >> ukraine. >> very good. >> what dessert does nancy pelosi bring to thanksgiving. >> impeachment pie.

>> what is adam schiff's favorite sea creature? >> quid pro quo. >> oh! >> what is a democrat's most important sense. nonsense. >> [laughing]. >> oh, that's a good one. >> yes. >> all right. and the last one. what does president trump want for christmas? >> what? >> i want nothing! i want nothing! >> [laughing]. >> that was good. >> there you go. impeachment edition. >> i have an impeachment edition of mom text. >> oh god. >> number 1, oh my god don't watch this process. you can't keep tuned-in to be ridiculed by that judge and your

vocabbuleary is stuck on the word sham. don't be a copycat. the reason that juan and dana are part of the larger conversation is because they speak specific and he will thoughtfully. what is with your ranting? honey bun let greg the historic ranter. don't join him. and last 3. be assured despite your wretched political orientation i love you. >> she moved from me to you. >> and "watters world" this weekend. donald trump, junior, i rake him through the coals and dana is i face off on tucker's quiz show. >> who won? >> juan? >> it's that time of year again. time to snap a picture with the

family for your christmas card. that's what a new jersey mom did with her kids when a surprise guest showed up. take a look. yes! that's the griffin from dr. suess emerging from the bushes. >> [laughing]. >> oh, no! >> mr. grinch. 2 kids running in terror. mom got a big belly laugh and the kids went running. thankfully it ended up with a christmas miracle because the kids came back and took the picture with the grinch. it's time for christmas cards and christmas shopping. go america. >> that's a good one. >> the greg gutfeld show tomorrow nice. we had ed henry and the adam schiff special and a lot of

other things. we have an expose on stallwell's digestive problems. if you watch you will be happier than ever in your life. now let's do this. >> ♪ animals are great ♪ ♪ >> they don't swear like dana. they like to watch this little guy. chipmunk enjoying nuts watching one of his favorite movies. the humans are not just changing due to technology, but also animals. they are learning to watch this stuff. soon they will be watching each other doing horrible things. that's why animals are great. ♪ animals are great >> [laughing]. >> thank you. >> emily? >> this is the cutest video of all time. this is a one-month-old kitten

named strawberry who is walking up the body of her best friend polar bear a huskie. takes a nap in the fur. >> he actually it's the cat. >> no. >> we didn't air this on "the five" yesterday. if you did the research, it ends in a terrible, terrible way. >> i thought that was very sweet. >> have a great weekend. that's it for us. see you back here on monday. ♪ [national anthem] ♪ [national anthem]

♪ [national anthem] ♪ [national anthem] ♪ [national anthem] ♪ [national anthem] ♪ [national anthem]

♪ ♪ blame the band for the song ♪ blame the band for the party that went all night long ♪ but it ain't my fault he had a song about partying all night long. pete: it's not my fault. rachel: is that your pick? ♪ it ain't my fault pete: this is brothers osborne and all about how he did things wrong but he blames somebody else. it's not his fault. i have never done that before. ever. rachel: never. ed: people calling in. [buzzer]