tv The Greg Gutfeld Show FOX News November 23, 2019 10:00pm-11:00pm PST
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[♪] >> in my view there is nothing more dangerous than an unethical president who believes they are above the law. and i would just say to people watching hereby at home and around the world, in the words of my great colleague. we are better than that. adjourned. greg: someone is a drama queen. [♪] [applause] greg: that was a week. four days of repetitive testimony stretched like taffy
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and forced on the public. you want stupid? here is stupid in primetime. >> mom, mom, can you hear me? >> yes, i hear you. the call is coming, i'm talking to you. say hi to dana. >> hi, mrs. komo, how are you? >> i can't hear your mother, chris. greg: that's your gold standard of self-owning. cuomo is the beyonce of clowning. but god knows his peers try. it's just one bombshell after another. >> we had one bombshell after another, an explosive opening statement. >> stunning testimony directly implicating president trump. >> it was one of the stupidest
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depressing days i have ever seen watching television. i thought all of america's i.q. dropped about 100 points. greg: if it dropped 100i.q. points, you need to start with 100 i.q. points. it is stupid. yet everything can be explained right here. >> no one on this planet told you president trump was tying aid to investigation yes or no. >> yes. >> so you have no testimony that ties president trump to a scheme to withhold aid from ukraine in exchange for these investigations. >> other than my own presumption. >> which is nothing. greg: that's it. nothing. isn't that what you want?
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i want nothing. i want nothing. greg: could you imagine if the media were forced to report that news? we would have to swallow them in depends because they pooped themselves silly. the dossier, collusion, kavanaugh. the last straw, the moment when everything changes. as usual they are wrong. these hacks believe the world is ending in 10 years. they have never been right on anything, right, adam? >> now adam schiff. >> your move. ready or not, here i chess. king me. >> that's not now it works. >> simon says king me. >> that's not it either. >> bingo. >> those are all different
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games. >> read them and weep. >> where did you get these cards from, that's a completely different game? >> professor plum, candlestick. study. >> i give up. checkmate. greg: it all comes down to an eyeanan --and i either/or situa. this wasn't a hear wg, it was an h.r. meeting about employees dismissed or transferred after a new boss comes to town. they never know what it's like to justify the work. now to them impeachment is a strip club without stripping going on. the media gathers around the stage drooling, but never seeing saddamn thing. when the show is over they don't want to go home.
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one more dance, they scream, i will go to the atm, i promise. right, adam? >> now, adam schiff. >> okay, adam, i'll show you a series of images, you tell me what you see. >> world series 1989. >> how about this one? >> you are holding it upside down. >> jane rayburn host of the match game. >> how about this. the eiffel tower. >> all right. finally. >> jose canseco dressed as a butterfly. >> you are by far the weirdest patient i ever treated.
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greg: the media is clueless to how life really works. unlike you who might have owned a business or dealt with a boss or been fired. and i have been the new boss who did the firing. success reflects well on me when the gt show kicks ass in the ratings every week. the show does great, but so do i. most journalists never hired anyone other than a nanny who they likely hit on until she fled back to sweden. when you are the president and doing great it helps the country and helps the leader. as a world leadered he can ask for x in exchange for y. the media doesn't get or they do
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and pretend they don't. it will keep going for months. justifying the emotional investment of so many people who hate you for wing. if they lose this impeachment battle all that pain is for naught. when it's over, who will want you now. right, adam? >> now, adam schiff tries stand up comedy. >> i just flew in from california. it's a long flight. five hours to be exact. what's blew and smells like red paint? blue paint. smells like paint, doesn't it. why did the dinosaur cross the road? anyone? no? there were no roads when dinosaurs roamed the.
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>> you suck. >> that's not true. >> tell a joke. >> i'm gaflg you down. i see i have the lights. i recognize the lights, good night. let's welcome tonight's guest. they call him a giver because he donated his liver. congrats, ed henry. he's so tough he wears leather pants under his leather pants. retired green beret master sergeant. she loves to vents when she is discontent. my massive sidekick, tyrus. all right.
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you are a political journalist or you claim to be. we are still unsure about that. have these hearings been more damaging to trump or the democrats. you owe wolf blitzer an apology. when he was talk about the explosive offing statement, he was referring to eric swalwell. kat: i love it. >> i think it started as problematic for the president. when you had ambassador sondland say there was a quid pro quo. ahh, there is a john dean moment. then he started walking it back. er witnesses didn't have the first-hand knowledge the democrats thought they had. nancy pelosi started this idea saying it had to be bipartisan. they haven't removed a single republican in the house. and as you look at the polls,
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they are starting to shift where independent voters by big margins are saying this matters more to politicians than it does to me. they care more about the economy and issues that affect them in their communities. and not impeachment. yes there was damaging testimony, but the big picture, this was a pretty good week for the president. greg: there is a lot of sausage. terry, big set of sausage? greg: i have a picture of you by the way. >> we should probably move on. greg: that's him showing you have sat my thing over the weekend in flair jeans. >> i feel like you are getting off to i can and you are hurting
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my feeling in front of everybody else which has always been a problem in our relationship. i give credit to the left. they never backed down. they don't stop. i think the people that bother me the most are these self-styled never-trumper conservatives. here is why. i get it. this is not about kissing trump's ass. i'm a retired green beret. i don't kiss anyone's ass. i have see president trump -- stop laughing. here is the thing. these conservative pundits that constantly mock us for supporting what trump does. for years they have written articles, they made the rounds in all the networks including this one, telling us
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intelligently so what conservatism is about. but when the fight came they melted into the woodwork. the moral of the story is everybody warrants to be a gangster until it's time for gangsters to [bleep]. people like us we -- they lost us and trump is killing it. greg: what do you have think, kat? kat: this week i was reading. greg: good for you. kat: a lot of different things both sides. watching both sides on tv. it's just so crazy to me. because everybody giving their view on this is watching the exact same thing. and each side is saying completely opposite things about it. it's like that dress years ago where some people saw blue.
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and. some people hear you look hideous every other day, then i cry and have a meltdown. guys, you look nice today is not a compliment. do not tell your wife that. you always have been and always will be so beautiful it's overwhelming to me. i cannot think of anything else except when i occasionally think about how you are also the smartest. greg: well done. greg: i will look at kilmeade and doocy. tyrus, don't you think? tyrus: i have been watching a lot of other stuff. i won't sit back and watch paint peel. this has become a really long "three's company" episode.
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adam schiff is start something look like don knots. they heard something in the on thered room. put it in here. oh. that is so true. they are putting a band together. oh, guess what i heard. that's literally where we are at as a country. greg: that's amazing. he's overhearing stuff. >> mr. roper did it first. but he didn't do it like mr. furley. the democrat party is doing that and america is like, let it go. kat: was that the step by step lady. greg: stop pretending you are not 50. tyrus: stop pretending you are
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not older. greg: a special gutfeld investigation. chevy silverado hd. it offers head-up display. wow, that's dialed in. i can still keep my eyes on the road. my truck doesn't have that. it offers an optional technology package with up to 15 different camera views. that's quality picture. it even offers one enhanced view that makes your trailer appear invisible - to help you see what's behind you. oh, wow! which in this case happens to be the competition - since they don't offer the same amount of cameras as the silverado. literally in the rear-view. where they should be. ♪
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smell? it happened on msnbc after hard day on capitol hill, eric swalwell started talking hardball and then this happened. >> u.s. military aid, chris, so for the evidence is uncontradicted that the president use taxpayer dollars to use ukrainians to help them cheat in an election in the complaint i heard from republicans, that's a with impeachment. let's roll it again just to see what happens. >> this president use packs. dollars to as ukrainians to help them cheat and election in the complaint i heard from the republicans -- those microphones are powerful. i better be careful. this is why i do not eat. once more? to ask the ukrainians to help them cheat and election. >> needless to say that starts trending on twitter and everyone thinks he made that noise which
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may be the best thing to ever come out of him. the hardball twitter account offered an explanation and they claimed it was the hardball mug scraping across the desk. , a coffee mug made that noise? we asked henry to investigate but he said no probably too busy donating a kidney. [laughter] so we sent kat to find out if a coffee mug is capable of making that sound. here's what she found. >> thank you greg, i am here at the institute of sound with phonics expert steve phoenix. how are you steve? >> today we will test these mugs and see what sound they make to try to get to the bottom of this are you ready? [laughter]
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[laughter] steve what is your conclusion? >> i believe in this case msnbc was correct in their assessment. remarkable, back to you. [laughter] >> katz, we don't just break stories. [applause] we don't break stories, we break wind. what is your take on the conspiracy. >> this is the most support and story of the week. let me explain why, first of all , just to make it clear, he forded. [laughter]
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he forded, i'm 100% sure, the reason i say that is because i need him too, and more than that america needs him to have forwarded, impeachment, and fighting, if he parts, we are united for a moment. and think about, we all have a moment, you know that song by john lennon, imagine, i used to think it was impossible but then eric swalwell started. and i said, if he kept doing it we might get there. >> i think you are right. as a reporter i feel like i'm behind on the story. >> he is good at this. the people to get the conspiracy do think it's impossible there might be a second one? >> i don't know why he did not do this further, he was at 0% if
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he had done this in a debate, if he did at a democratic debate there would've been segments. >> it would've been a battle. >> i have been stuck in the next to this lady for the last 48 hours while she's tried to convince me that this is a great thing,. >> i feel like eric swalwell, all the controversy in his life if you google his name this is what will come up. [laughter] >> he could build 100 laws and build bridges across the country , he can be the most respected man in the world but no matter what he does he will be that guy. [laughter] i am sticking with a coffee mug but kat needed that unity.
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>> he would be leading the polls on the democratic party because what he did, like he didn't know what was going on. he would've been running with it up 97% in the polls. >> i think the high heaven. you guys think of me correctly so is a ruggedly handsome freedom fighter. but i have also a man of science . i did not have the facilities the cat had access but i thought let's test, i have access to mugs of various kinds. i've a glass table in a softer and i did it over and over again and i cannot replicate it. it does not mean it's not right, scientific person, you have to do, get through the hypothesis. i cannot do it, he fart. >> i've seen her glass table. [laughter] this is where were at. he said before the show, are you guys doing eric swalwell story,
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hopkins hospital in baltimore. she was hospitalized after experiencing chills and a fever. she was given antibiotic and to treat her symptoms. long lines are forking outside of polling stations in hong kong as city residents are electing a new government. china's national government in beijing hoping the unrest and disruption to daily life will be enough to turn voters against the no democracy movement. carry lamb was among the early voters. cultural presents, they thought they were soaring but the nation was snoring. much like having to sit on my
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tail. this week debate was long and are comfortable. joe biden who chased with a butterfly net. >> the only black american woman who is ever elected, a whole range of people. [laughter] no man has a right to raise a hand to a woman and keep punching out and punching out it and punching out it, i really mean it. >> there is kamala harris a month too late. >> it's unfortunate that we have someone on stage who is attempting to be the democratic nominee for president of the united states who during the
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obama ministration spent four years on fox news criticizing president obama. >> she always looks like she's smelling eric swalwell. bernie sanders remind us that none of this matters because were all going to die in eight or nine years. >> the scientists are telling us if we don't get our act together in the next eight or nine years, were talking about cities all over the world, nation cities going to work. >> will be able to get our soup at 4:00 o'clock. i guess we have to make the next eight years count personally. i'll be doing a lot of this. [laughter] it took me several years to learn that and i'm proud of it. i feel bad watching joe watching
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his peers in audience laughing at him, not with him, at him. the guy who we worked with four has not endorsed him. we also bernie sanders the speculator in chief, in this stuff, i'll say this again, this has made you lazy, he doesn't even have the right stuff, he is holding and in all the time. you guys are funnier than me. >> i'll remember not to phone you to be on the show. [laughter] i just got smoked by him. let's move on. i'm going back, if this is all funny and a lot of good stuff, i want you to think about this, look at the candidate and bernie sanders who is a communist and the soviet union and supports venezuela, cuba, you can quote whatever lines you want but in 2016 he was a valuable candidate for the net under democrat in
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hillary's team screwed him or he's back again in 2020. i would've thought years ago communist would have been laughed off the stage and instead he is welcome. so to all the never trumper's and his election and say deep state, world war, everything, don't believe me, that's the battlefield advantage, we have communist being tickets here's the in the united states. [applause] >> you didn't watch did you? >> of course i did greg, i don't know about communism but we have crazy. ms. harris was going and on everybody. she had a list, and it was almost funny. [laughter] say it,.
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>> i don't want to say because i like him, know the other guy who forgets everything, i don't understand how no one has pulled him aside and said we have to sit down brother. if you have a fighter that was a great champion and he's punchdrunk and every time the phone rings he thinks it's about [laughter] you do not let him fight anymore here's the best part for the republican side, he is still winning. >> what does that mean? >> it does sound bad. [laughter] >> no one else can say that. >> he is a shaky front runner, so who gets in patrick, close to barack obama, former governor of massachusetts, he just got in. he goes to have a rally, a political event, three people showed up so he did not even
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want to walk up there he was so embarrassed. what does that say about the democratic party when president trump go out and have thousands of people outside waiting to get in and patrick got three people and he thought it was an aa meeting. [laughter] they said where's the free coffee and donuts. [laughter] kat, what did you think about the debate, they had no male moderators. >> i hated it. no one fart. i honestly had a serious problem with kamala harris criticism of tulsi gabbard because cher could decide presents a obama what he is in the white house, that's not about thing that's a good thing. i think we need more of that everything is so hyper partisan where if you say something you disagree with someone on your side you are not loyal or not
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being loyal, you really are being loyal to your own principal and that's something that takes a lot more courage and i think we need more independence and fewer people who are trying to ostracize others for independent thought and also more fart. >> he smells an opening he should reenter the race. >> i really want to back you up on that. >> more to i looove travel. italy! yaaaaass. with the united explorer card, i get rewarded wherever i go. going out for a bite. rewarded! going new places. rewarded! anytime. rewarded! getting more for getting away. rewarded! learn more at the explorer card dot com. and get... rewarded!
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that's what makes you seemed like you're on meth. maybe they were when they came up with the slogan. but maybe it worked as a context of the commercial. let's see the ad. >> i am on meth. >> i'm on meth. >> i am on it to. >> 's omi. >> so in my. >> i am on meth. >> meth is not someone else's problem, as everyone insult the coders problem and we mean everyone. >> i am on it. >> i am on it to. [laughter] half a million dollars to watch church ladies and little girls say they are on meth, wait to you see the slogan they turned out. how about this one, take a look at that, cocaine, worth sniffing it out.
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that did not go over too well. cocaine, it's where we draw the line. crack, make it a pipe dream. my favorite, acid, were dropping it. [applause] [laughter] it's not funny, drug addiction, but that inadvertently is hilarious. >> if you're going to do an ad where you have an old elderly man on a couch saying he is on meth maybe not have a child sitting on his lap. unless the child is going to say he is on meth two. i get it, i don't understand, first of all damn near $500,000 on ads, how about take the money
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and put in the clinics to help people that are on it. >> exactly, that's what i was going to say. >> here's the thing about drug addiction, you don't have to be creative and cool to tell someone drugs are bad. they are already being creative and cool when they got into drugs, so they don't need an ad campaign, meth we are on it, you know what i'm saying, it's simple, you're on meth, the phone number to get help and let's get it done. that is cute and clever. but not a cute and clever thing. >> what about north dakota. >> henry is on a roll tonight. you know what, he is a career in one line comedy. >> they took a part of his liver but not a sense of humor. >> i'm a liver not a fighter.
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[applause] >> i want to go to the libertarian, we know drug addiction is bad but what drives me crazy about the meth thing, meth is already legal, its speed , prescribed to millions of people, adderall, ritalin, saturated in the media everybody that i work with in magazines, they are everywhere and yet were making meth to be the devil. >> a libertarian nightmare, a libertarian would ideally legalize all drugs, the nightmare is using taxpayer money to do that. because i completely agree, if i'm going to spend half a million dollars on something which i only do on one of my yachts. [laughter] i'm going to make sure it kind of works, no one got off mess because of the ad. i watched it and said weird but
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okay, you did all this money to address the drug problem and you use it to talk that were on drugs. that's like you donated money to a charity to fight children's hunger. and they use that money to film all the kids talking about how hungry they are. >> here's some food. give them food. but again if we legalize all drugs and regulate them and make everything safer it's called harm reduction. >> google it. somebody is a millennial. >> not 40, not 50. >> the slogan might have worked because were talking about it. >> two things, you look very nice tonight. [laughter] and i am on meth. it does not diminish my confidence to you. >> i don't have one.
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>> i had to get that in. any one-liners? >> you have to have one more. >> i thought your ending the segment. >> the next segment you will love. a fox show report w chevy silverado hd. it offers head-up display. wow, that's dialed in. i can still keep my eyes on the road. my truck doesn't have that. it offers an optional technology package with up to 15 different camera views. that's quality picture. it even offers one enhanced view that makes your trailer appear invisible - to help you see what's behind you. oh, wow! which in this case happens to be the competition - since they don't offer the same amount of cameras as the silverado. literally in the rear-view. where they should be. ♪ tthe bad news? our so will this recital.day. new depend® fit-flex underwear offers your best comfort and protection guaranteed.
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gregl: remember a week ago when it was wall-to-wall whistleblower coverage what happened to that guy? the so-called journalists keeping making a case that they identity must be protected as if he is kelly mcgill is in witness and the democrats are harrison ford pretending to be amish. shut up. [laughter] it is all bs and we are tired of it frankly. we sent one of our dumbest producers, gina nelson, to investigate. here's what we found. >> the whistleblower. [crowd boos] whistleblower. >> who is the whistleblower? a question that has captivated the world. i hit the road to find out. if you want to find the whistleblower you got to get inside his head. surround yourself with whistleblowers. add a whistle factory.
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my exclusive interview with joe biden, hunter biden and president donald trump. >> dammit. make my interview with some guy. the american whistle corporation in columbus, ohio, the only manufacturers of metal whistles in the country. how are they connected to the whistleblower? tell us what you do here? >> i am in charge of installing whistles. >> are you from ukraine? >> i am from honduras. >> have you ever gone golfing with the bidens? >> no. >> do you have kids yourself? >> yes, 36, 34.
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>> i was in too deep and had to keep moving. this is exciting. follow me. this assigned behind meat was used in the 20s when they caught whistleblowers they would shop at their hands under this plate and top their fingers off and was a favorite of loan sharks in gambling and anyone who was delinquent on their payments they were viciously savagely tortured right ear. you can see the number of fingers that were cut off. and for kicks and giggles they bring out a nice, gold band for you to stare out. that's fun. the machines were hot but the trail had gone cold. i spoke with american whistle productivity engineer, bill clark, to find out more. you make missiles here but what do you really do? >> no, it is all whistles. >> we also make lanyards.
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>> what was he hiding? i needed answers. >> i am here with bruce. how are you? >> i'm doing well. >> thank you. for this interview i will be greg. how long have you been in the cia? >> approximately 58, 59 years. >> fifty-nine years. >> finally, a breakthrough. was it too late? i sat down with 24 year veteran of american whistles, manager joyce thompson to uncover the truth. walk me through how you got involved in the whistleblowing is this. >> i was working at a pizza shop for ten years. >> in ukraine? >> no, then i quit there and my friend work here so i started working here and i been here since mac was your friend joe biden? >> no. >> hunter biden? >> no. >> the question is are you the whistleblower? >> fair enough. joyce, he been a treat to talk
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to. i think it is only fair we end this interview with a customary blow of the whistle. if you would not mind play us out, i say we wrap around and bring it one, two, three - oh my gosh, did we just make whistles great again? trick question. they were always great. what did we learn today? we did not find the whistleblower because the whistleblower lives inside all of us. this is cnn. [laughter] >> turn the camera off. it's over. it's done. also, there was no conspiracy. they just make great whistles. [cheering and applause] gregl: we got to thank the american whistle corporation for putting up with our idiocy. they knew what we were doing and
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greg got felt and i love you, america. [cheering and applause] ♪ ♪. jesse: welcome to "watters world" i am jesse watters. another hoax goes up and smokes thanks to the subject of tonight's word. the impeachment hearings are over, implore for the democrat face again. just like the last hoax, they lie to you again. >> this testimony is incredibly damaging. >> i cannot emphasize how exposed of this is. >> very explosive. >> explosive. >> it's a problem for the white house. >> gordon sondland's testimony changed everything. >> every fantasy about how corrupt this demonstration
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