remember to keep up with me on facebook, twitter and instagram. thanks for watching. i'm judge jeanine pirro advocating for you. greg is next. [♪] greg: you heard? we are opening up america again. president trump gave state guidelines to start easing restrictions. it's a three-phase process once a state sees a downward trend in covid cases. restaurants, gyms and places of worship can open with social distancing guidelines. and you can finally have that elective surgery. butt implants here i come. and those at risk need to stay home. avoid groups of 50 or more.

schools and bars across reopen with max her occupancy. for states with no signs of a coronavirus rebound, workplaces can resume with unrestricted staffing. visits to hospitals and senior living facilities can resume. what does nancy pelosi call the guidelines? vague and inconsistent. but how dialed in is she? let's check in with the butt kisser to the stars, james corden. >> what are you going to show us from your home? >> chocolate. chocolate candy, and this is something you can get through the mail. can i show you? >> absolutely. this is the episode of crips i never knew i need.

>> other people in our family look for other flavors. buff chocolate. then we have some other chocolate here. greg: he offered no progress cal advice. now you are showing open your doublewide freezer shocked with enough ice cream to feed guam. sit this one out, nancy and keep stuffing your frozen face with frozen yogurt. joe biden said this. >> i wouldn't call it a plan. i think what he has done is punted. he decided he doesn't have the right to make the call for the country and he talked about phases in the generic sense seem to me from all i learned and all i listened in my morning briefs from the docs i talk to us

irrational and doesn't give you any hard guidelines. greg: what the hell is he talking about? if trump tried to call the shots joe would have called him a dictator or tie rant. trump offers a framework to let the governors make the call and now he's punting? i think joe is probably playing yadzi. as this moment in time continues so do you for now. there are stresses and they are starting to show. i am not going to lie. it's been a strain on relationships. this was my wife and i before the quarantine. and this is us now. it's getting to everyone and creating a world of disturbing mysteries. who is the person in maryland

getting his mail in his underwear. >> this facebook post from tommytown police. please remember to put pants on before leaving our house to check your mailbox. >> it's funny how he goes out in his underwear. it's good advice. greg: i have got to wonder. i get it, no job, no schedule, tv on all day. it's like being dana's dog. in michigan you saw a massive protest against a governor who said you couldn't buy gardening seeds. if that's not micromanaging, what is? it seems like an essential thing in a pandemic?

we'll trust our leaders until they push their luck, then we get pissed. now we are looking at a cool, calm collected america. but it could be like the fake sets on the tv westerns. i have a feeling that we are all telepathic that you and i both know what both of us are thinking because we are thinking the same thing. you know what i mean. let's say you and i are in a bar and some dude shows up in a snake and a tutu. we know without making eye contact that this place is great. this also happens on oscar night. this is the third hour of the oozing wound of entertainment. the entire country knows it's time to turn it off and we do. we are like a boy band.

we are a connected brain. our humanity unites us and tells us when we are ready. now it feels like we are ready to go back to work in phases. i think it's week five. we are patient, we are patriotic. we are adults. we did the heroic thing. now we have to do the realistic thing which is weighing the risk of behavior. we sacrificed a lot to protect the vulnerable and we'll still do that. but as the unemployment rate inches closer to horrifying. we have got to ask. what is adam schiff doing? he says his house intelligence committee is conducting real-time oversight of trump's coronavirus response. but from home. so the guy who captured all the attention, causing the media to

miss this outbreak is trying to do it again? you can imagine what he's really doing at home. >> and now adam schiff quarantine video diary. >> remember, clean hands. always remember, wear your mask. i myself like to go with the triple protection. come and get me corona. i think it's time to flatten some curves of my own.

make it burn. remember your social distancing. keep six feet away at all times. did you hear that wilson? get away. wilson! greg: oh, i miss him. trump announced we are pulling funding from the abysmal world health organization. >> this was an attempt by the president to steer you away from his own actions. >> if you go through the scape goats he blames for this pandemic -- >> what you are seeing is a president who deflects demeans and denounces others as opposed to taking responsibility. greg: it's amazing how every day for the media is still the first day of trump's presidency.

he's force an entity to do a better job or else. show the guy a tire and he will kick it. like the media he understands:persuasion. the media like children see tough decisions like scary and mean. the economy will return and you will exit this real moment in time smarter, wiser, stronger. we did the right thing. we sacrificed a lot. maybe it's time for some of us to get back to work. if we don't, we are all screwed. but you don't have to listen to me. it's okay. because i'm listening to you and i hear what you are saying. it's almost like we are thinking the same thoughts. let's welcome tonight's guests. he could kill you with a fig

newton then eat the fig newton, mike baker. he's my fourth favorite tom after bosley and sell he can, tom shillue. she is the pinnacle of cynical, host of "sincerely kat," kat timpf. and host of foxnation, tyrus. mike, what do you think of trump's plan? mike: i like it. i disagree with joe biden's comments that it seems -- you know, you be coordinated and not possessing any guidelines. trump has got to be the world's greatest troller. he said he had the total authority to decide when and how to open the country. the media went crazy for a few

days. then what did he do? they issue guidelines. they give the decision make together governors which is what the governors wanted all along. the only part that doesn't make any phase. in the first phase of this you are allowed to reopen the jims because god forbid there -- reopen the gyms. because there is no way something will get transmitted in a sweaty gym. i think the gym should be in phase two perhaps. greg: you pointed out what trump had done with the governors. it was the tom sawyer paint the fence trick. all right, shilluey, what are you making of the situation. either way we are faced with some kind of risk no matter what we do. tom: most people want to get back to work. we are working now.

i think you are in the next room, if i am right. but we are learning how to separate. we are learning how to prevent getting this illness. let us get back to work and show all the things we learned. we have to get out of our houses. and i think the president realizes that. greg: kat, what do you make of the protests in your home state of michigan. kat: why do people have to wear pants to check the mail? these are trying times. okay? if someone out there can get the slightest thrill walking 50-00 - 50-100 steps to the mailbox with their butt flapping in the winds. who am i to protest. i know things are bad in michigan. i don't understand how more people are going to get sick if

they are buying seeds to grow crops. again the governors have the decision making. and i completely agree with you and i completely agree with mike baker. he doesn't want responsibility for any of this. i'm old enough to remember when people were mad about this whole total authority. i only remember this base was alive tuesday. i am not saying you can't have a problem with anything he says. but if you are getting mad equally about opposite things in the same week, you don't have a problem with the thing, you just have a problem because he's the one saying it. have a principle. like one even. greg: i wonder if there is a half nudest camp where people get half nude. have you ever thought about that? tyrus? tyrus: not until must now. i wish i hadn't.

it now will forever live in my brain. greg: rough going to be eating those fish. tyrus: these are my fish children. how dare you. yes, i'm going to be eating the fish, greg. greg greg: what do you make of e phase three plan. tyrus: i wire we could go to phase 7. i think it's funny. since i have had so much time to watch tv, i'm convinced it's just the media, the mainstream media is a back seat driver. no matter which way you know, they have a better way. they say i have the responsibility, i got it. no, how dare you. just how dare you. how about i won't do anything.

how dare you. it doesn't matter what the sentence is. he could have those news conferences where he comes up to speak and it doesn't matter what he talks about. he could talk about what he had for breakfast. what, no protein? he just had cereal? how dare you. greg: politicians don't want skin in the game. they want to wait until after something happens then they can come in like a vulture. go wash your

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[♪] greg: look who has come out of hiding just to help poor biden. now that 28 other democrats dropped out of the race and there is just one left. former president obama says joe is totally his guy. but it's because joyce nice and trump is a big meany. >> the leadership guide by experience, honesty, through military, empathy and grace. that kind of leadership doesn't just belong in our state

capitals and the mayor's office it belongs in the white house. greg: liz warren endorsed joe. some are thinking she could make a good running mate for him. liz says if joe asked her she would say yes. i wonder how that conversation will go. >> now joe biden face times liz warren. >> hunter, that you? >> hi, it's liz warren. i thought you were look for a vp. >> i said pb and j. >> i circumand a half gate the high seas with magellan in 1507. >> an explorer. maybe you can help me find my

dentures. i left them in a sears bathroom. >> in law school i built the sears stowr with my bare hands. >> i used to play poker with a street cat named gus annen he went to college. >> i was roommates with harriet tugman. i teach competitive to blind alcoholic babies. i founded the first sat press corps for snapping turtles with adhd. >> that's a lot of letters. >> i invented the alphabet. >> that's real good, hunter. greg: that was pretty damn

funny. kat? what does kat look liz warren look better but i make joe biden look worse. greg: people forget that liz destroyed bloomberg over sexual harassment claims. and he would have been a better president than biden. but now biden is being accused of sexual assault and she is not saying anything. kat: it's like she wants to be elected and will just say stuff. i think she would be an excellent vp. joe is an old white guy, and a woman of color would add some diversity to the ticket and that would be excellent. i don't truly believe that anyone truly believe that what we need in this time of crisis is only if joe biden were in

charge. you can have problems with the way trump handled things. you can have problems with the way a lot of people handled things. because everybody got this wrong. i hate the narrative from the democrats that they were blowing the whistle on this. in february you were only talking about impeachment. it's a bunch of garbage. we need to focus on solving these things. the one thing joe biden could do to help us through this that trump can't. he's used to not knowing what day it is. so he can help us through that, those of us who are still getting used to it for the first time. greg: the problem with joe is he doesn't mind anything he said. he will go along to get along. he will move far to the left. he's just happy to be in the

picture. tom: he should have rejected this endorsement. i don't need it now. i don't need obama. i can do it on my own. he pretended he asked him. he said i called obama and said don't endorse me, i want to do this on my own. i don't think barack obama is that excited about joe. did you see the video? there was no yes we can. he tweeted let's go. greg: it was part of his complaining about trump's personality. do you think in obama's heart he wanted to do that? tyrus: i can say as one brother to another, president obama i have been in that situation where i have been called to give a reference for a cousin or a brother that i know that isn't

really that great of a person or qualified, and they are like hey, can you tell us a few things about him? yeah. honest, has integrity. obama had a bunch of adjectives and kinds of left it there. he was doing the fourth reference. we have all been there. if you ever co-signed for a relative that you know i will end up making the car payment on. it's that kind of video, yeah i'm doing it because i have been asked to do it, but i'm not in it. greg: mike, enjoying that water. are you going to drink all that gin and go to bed on that single bed behind you? mike: i agree with tyrus.

it was no surprise that obama -- it's also the weakest endorsement a former president has ever given. it's like' you have got one person left standing waiting to be chosen for kick ball because everybody else has been taken and it was like, okay, i will take you. he didn't want to do it, but he had no choice. i do think that warren is not going to get the vp pick. but i applaud the dramatic presentation we all viewed just a short time ago. i thought tom and kat knocked it out of the park. greg: back with more after this. road-trip companion.

it's kind of my quiet, alone time.

audible is a routine for me. it's like a fun night school for adults. i could easily be seduced into locking myself into a place where i do nothing but listen to books. i never was interested in historical fiction before, but i'm obsessed with it now. there are a lot of like, classic and big titles that i feel like i missed out since i don't have time to read, mean i might as well listen. if i want to catch up on the news or history or learn what's going on in the world, i can download a book and listen to it. because i listened to her story over and over again, i made the decision to go ahead and follow my own dream, which was to help other veterans. i think there's like 180 books in my, in my library now. it changes your perspective; it makes you a different person. it's true, it's so true. (laugh) to start your free 30-day trial, just text listen35 to 500500.

now back to the "the greg gutfeld show." greg: are we losing our minds from this lonely grind? it's the topic of this week. i never get tired of that one. a new study shows 44% of americans are lonelier than ever before thanks to the virus. missing out on birthdays and

graduations and lou dobbs hot tub parties. the virus help line are up 90%. the searches for what date is spiked on google. it's a great time to focus on the little things like how to stop my bird from being such a stupid jerk.

that is the greatest bird i have ever seen. tyrus, how are you holding up? are you fielding lonely? you have got kids. tyrus: i am never alone, greg. never alone. i don't know what that's like. and love it. i love being surrounded constantly. we are just happy in this small enclosed area together. pay no attention to the cannibalism. we are all just happy. i wouldn't call that number that's times. but i feel bad for the people stuck at home alone. i feel for them. greg: i worry about the elderly.

seriously at home. and tom, you also have family at home. but people can't visit their grandparents. that's brutal. >> it is trying for a lot of people. especially when you have people in elder care. but they can't. a lot of people are going to have a depression after this is all over. because there are a lot of people of -- you sight of on social media and people at home watching the news, keeping up with all the changes. somehow this crisis is giving them meaning. but when it goes away, it will be like the oj trial. my mother didn't know what to do when the trial was over. she was just watching tv for the whole year. when this thing does go away and things go back to normal, there are a lot of people who don't want it to go back to normal

because this gives them meaning. it's a crisis. people do come together in this thing. greg: if they are financially insecure they want it to go away. buff maybe this does give meaning to people. but it's a luxury if you have got to eat. meaning doesn't put food on the table. mike: that right. kudos to comparing the pandemic to the oj trial. i hadn't heard that one before. if you are on salary and getting your paycheck or if you are self isolated with your family so you are not sitting there all buy yourself maybe with your dog or cat for company and you don't have anybody affected by the virus, just shut the hell you have. don't complain. we are not being asked to drop

into a war zone and risk our lives. if you have got bills to pay, if you know somebody who passed away, you have got he reason to be concerned and probably upset. so i understand that increase on the phone calls. but we are going to get through this. it's going back to opening you have the government. we can take care of the most vulnerable. we are like a bunch of sheep in a pasture. i am surprised how we have gone along with it to some degree. but i understand all the concern. now is the time to multitask. let's start getting things going forward again. greg: the thing about not knowing the day. i believe no matter what happens, saturday always feels

like saturday, and sunday feels like sunday. you can't go out on a friday and pretend it's monday. your brain is already hard wired for that thing. i tried to pretend that a difficult off is really a workday then i try to surprise myself because i'm sam weirdo, and it never works. kat: i just want top wholeheartedly disagree with what mike said. he said if everything is okay with your job you shouldn't complain. the memes, your grandparents were called to war and you are getting called to sit on the couch. and i do get it. i realize staying at home is not as bad as me having to fight in a war where i would certainly perish. but i don't think you have to have all this pressure to say

positive all the time. that's okay because society is collapsing. you have got to let yourself feel bad. mike prr society is not collapsing. kat: the pressure is not good. greg: this is a fight between generations. kat: it sure is. mike: every day is like sunday. greg: especially in your little prison where you are waterboarding god knows who in there. i don't know what's going on in there.

[♪] greg: shall we hold a wake for the handshake? if this self-isolation thing taught us anything, it's that we don't need the things we thought we did like gym memberships,

deowedeodorant, window shades. at least this an up side to sitting by the toilet, delta is boarding from the back of the plane. how about those spam phone calls. complaints about spam callers dropped 58%. either there are fewer spam calls or we don't mind them anymore. my neighbor dolores will talk to anyone. >> hi. that was beautiful. really beautiful. there is something like handshakes that i'm not going to miss.

but what happens to the joy buzzer industry. there is an industry that will go away with a handshake. mike: you can't fool anyone with that joy buzzer anymore. but can we admit howie mandel was way ahead of the curve on this thing? he was against handshaking years ago. i am going to go even further than dr. fauci. i'm going to say don't greet anybody anymore, just walk right by them. i don't like people who hug me. i find that strange. but there are a lot of huggers out there, kat. you seem like you don't like hulling either. president trump: no. that's th.the on thing i'm goins is the general excuse. oh i haven't worn pants or

showered in four days, but coronavirus. normally i would have taken a shot at he killa but it's different seems so i will have four. all that's left standing there is a dirty filthy processed food spilled alcoholic arguing with the cop, why can't i be in a 7-eleven without pants on, hypothetically. greg: we can return to events but you can't return to normal. when you saw a low-flying plane after 9/11 it got you nervous. now if somebody is coughing around you, how can you be in an elevator with somebody who is coughing. tyrus: i have given this a lot of thought.

the remote is over there. i'm working. you know what's gotten away? privacy? i'm working. privacy and respect, greg. gone. working. i am work. sorry. greg: mikey, a handshake is a way to get to know somebody like a strong handshake tells you everything. a weak handshake tells you something. you killed people with your handshake. mike: it levels the playing field now. you won't be able to tell is it a strong character [bleep]. this is a good thing. it unifies the nation in a way. i don't miss the handshake. i won't miss the handshake. i have got a 3 to 6-foot personal space i like to maintain. this won't be a problem for me

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go to xfinity.com/prepare. thank you. twreg * no virus can stop a leg drop. a few thing making their way back. governor ron desantis declared

wrestling an he accepting service. starbucks announced plans to gradually reopen using a strategy they call monitor and adapt which oddly are the same names i gave my pets. but you know what will come back? wet markets. according to the world health organization any wet markets that are allowed to reopen must conform to stringent standards. a scientific paper predicted that a virus from her shoe bats is a time bomb? great job world health organization. speaking of things that make no sense.

i have no idea what that meant. tyrus. it's good that pro wrestling is coming back. but what do you think? tyrus: number one, when you call something an essential business, i don't feel wrestling is necessarily up there with people on the front lines. just like main league baseball is trying to come back. the neighbor, the nfl, all sports entertainment. if they can do it safely there is a lot less numbers of who is competing at one time. so they can control that. they will have to have quite a few tests. that testing argument i won't be go into. but it's good for society to have something to watch. if it can be done safely, i am

all for it. greg: katcat kat i need to get out of my house. he time i have a headache i think i have a virus. or a king in my neck i think i have a virus. we need to get things to fill up our brain so we stop thinking about the virus. kat: the situation is different across the country so i think it's great where things are starting to open, not just for those people, but if they are conducting business in one area of the country helps the country as a whole country. gives us things to talk about. i'm in new york city right by a hospital. so i'm in the heart of wuhan where i live. i don't think i will be able to leave my apartment anytime soon. but i hate seeing people writing things off.

concerns about the economy. the only people who write that off are people who are so rich and the elite of society that they never need to worry about it. greg: are you concerned the world health organization will claclamp down on the wet markets like they did after the sars outbreak? mike: i'm an expert on wet markets. i don't have much to say about wet markets. but you know what i do have a lot to say about. is it too much? i don't know how that got there. greg: what net wok is that on? mike: it's on the science channel thursday at 10:00 p.m. if people are looking for something to take their minds off the current pandemic.

watch the show. kat: so shameless i respect it. dwreg * tom, what are you excited to have come back. tom: i was in a coffee shop today. everyone was behaving. they all had masks. employees are behaving like emergency room doctors. we are in new york. it's like the epicenter. i think everyone is behaving well. and i think we can already get back to work. greg: new york is the epicenter making. kat: the epi-lady. kat: i don't get it. greg: we'll have to learn from the

as the nation's doctor, i often get asked what should i do if i think i might have corona virus? people who are sick should stay home. you don't go to an emergency room. you don't go to a clinic. you get on the phone and you ask for advice and instructions from your physician. we don't want you to go into the e.r. or the doctor's office without talking to them first, because you might spread corona virus to someone else. please visit coronavirus.gov for more information.

we are out of time.

thank you, i love new america. ♪ >> president trump vigorously defending his coronavirus response while accusing democratic governors of failing to use state resources to ramp up testing. good evening i'm jon scott and this is a special two hour edition of the "fox report." jon: right now more than 3 and a half million americans have been tested for the virus. more than 700,000 tested positive. more than 30 thowrk people have died in this country. a short time ago in today's white house task briefing president trump touted progress made on testing while l lashing out at critics who say a lack of testing is impeding the nation's ability to reopen meanwhile a number of states is are moving forward with plans to gradually star u