tv The Greg Gutfeld Show FOX News May 17, 2020 1:00am-2:00am PDT
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tonight, i was the only one who had a choice kinda. we will see you next week, thank you for watching ♪ ♪. greg: in the new phase of the pandemic, let's review what we know. it is true we don't know jack and it's not our fault, it's called a novel under novel virus and it's a novel and a virus which means we cannot see what were talking about, it's invisible to us as truth is to cnn. which makes it scary, how scary, then your time did a piece on quarantining with the ghost,
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rather than focus on real stuff, they covered unexplained activity during house arrest, shaking window shades, rattling doorknobs, cold water in the shower and joe biden in the basement, of course sometimes houses creek and plumbing acts weird but that's my post burrito stomach, not a story so has to be a ghost, the light flickered, and must be a ghost, i put my house keys away, not the fact that i been drinking all day and everything is on the floor including me, i'm not saying goes don't exist, look what i found in my sock drawer. look, i get it, the most likely explanation from something the truth does not grab you, there is no story, a ghost is so much more fun than not a ghost, who cares if it's false, the only thing missing is gender or race, anticipate a follow-up piece with old white sexes ghost, i swear i saw a ghost and he checked out my breast or worse,
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the ghost did not call me a reese's name but i could tell he voted for trump, why can't ghost be racist or sexist, are we already according to the media, we don't need a pole to be hateful, see donald trump who blames china for the virus. >> you said the u.s. is doing far better than any other country when it comes to testi testing. >> yes. >> why does that matter, why is this global if everyday americans are still losing their lives and were still seeing more cases every day? >> they are losing their lives everywhere in the world and maybe that's a question you should ask china. >> why are you saying that to me specifically. >> i'm telling you, i'm not saying as specifically to anybody, i'm saying to anybody that would ask a nasty question. greg: i love it, you know where this went. >> we saw in the exchange that something has racial overtones, it is racist to look at in asian american white house
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correspondent and said asked china. greg: for the pillsbury dough boy to believe his own droppings, he has to pretend the last four years of this did not exist. >> china. >> china, taino internet came out of china. greg: with the exception of meals he misses a lot of things, you want a pattern of behavior, here it is claiming the light and turn right up sexes over russia. >> were looking at the right-wing media whether such an obsession with the deep state in the russia probe. greg: so disappointed in with him to say that without puking, he must ignore this. >> what disputant have on trump, has trump in compromise? >> this is a letter of intent for the proposed trump tower moscow.
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>> serious people in and out of government asking whether u.s. president might be an unwitting or wooden russian asset were the president of the united states is an agent of a foreign power in the presidents no collusion, no obstruction mantra, we know it's fall. >> do you still believe the president can be a russian asset? >> i think it is possible. greg: when cnn says you're obsessed it's like a drunk saying your breath smells over him. there is success relies on no one else having a short-term memory. here is chris cuomo blaming fox for future guest. >> everyone around him has a mask on, he does it because he wants to keep up the fox force, the bs that covid-19 is overrated. i guess the anti-elitist over there are okay with 10000 more dead. greg: how does the bozo get away with that, i think he hopes you forgot about the thousands of real deaths which happened under
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his brothers watch, during that tragedy, what did chris ask his bro? >> do you think you are an attractive person because you're single and ready to mingle? do you really think you are some desirable person and this is not just people's pain coming out of it? >> i hate rehashing this but when that jerk lays 10000 dead bodies on us, we have to show you that the debt already exist and it hits a little closer to his home for chris than he would like to admit. how do you respond when someone accuses you of wanting death because you want to feed your family by getting back to work, say this, if you want us to stay inside, you must love's spousal abuse, domestic violence is surging under the shutdown, is it true that you like to see more abused spouses chris? it sounds absurd because it is but that's how the media smears
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you plus they always have the answers but only after the fact which makes me wonder where the hell were you guys when this pandemic started, why did you hold out, it's criminal that you have the answer key, kept it hidden until after all the death. fact is anyone who says they know is full of it, not just the media but experts too, they got so many things wrong, masks, shutting down travel, ventilators, but if no one knows anything, you might as well invite anyone to discuss a pandemic. cnn had greta thunberg on a special because they put more value on her cool words than the actual virus briefings they skipped. greta cited the importance of science a strongman argument saying who is not pro-science and linked it to her crusade climate. she pledged 100 grand to unicef which is awesome, when i was 17
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all they had was a bb gun and a stack of swink that i stored in a tree. if this is the trend for cnn, i cannot wait to see who they choose first future specials. the 2020 election with greta thunberg. race in america with greta thunberg, are ghost real with greta thunberg. but you know they could do worse, have you seen the nightly lineup, it's a strange thing how they keep trying to make the pandemic political, you cannot blame trump for that, he shut down the economy and then he doled out trillions, now he's desperate to reopen, what political side is that, he's all over the place just like america. here's how you know the new red versus blue division is bogus, the media cannot figure out how to cover the states, they want to find failure in red states and successes and blue states and cheer, so far that is not happening, also the right tens to be risk in the left is
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opposite, those who want to go back to work are pretrade as right wing and those scolding us to stay in and definitely are not. so the script is flipped, meaning it's not right versus left, instead is media versus trump, whatever he is for, they have to be against, at least are different, smarter, you get it in a world in which we think something we never faced we are lucky, we have 50 experiments going on at once in each experiment can win a dozen more. estate can try out a planned, some might do great and some might not, we can compare in contract, cheese nance without trying, it's what you would do if you don't have the right answer yet. idiots would prefer a one day for the whole country to go back which is like placing all of your chips on one number and relet but you likely use
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equalize. it is like your 401k, it's not all one stock, it's a portfolio to hedge against risk, it is smart and unavoidable. we are going to learn a lot, we will see the truth that have eluded us these past months, no more ghost it will be brave americans getting up and going to work and protecting each other the best that they can with simple consideration in the kind of common sense that elected trump over hillary, it's a great american challenge of your lifetime, i think we are ready. greg: let's welcome tonight's guest, you cannot lose when he talks news, washington times editor charlie hurt. he has more singles than a strip club atm, singer-songwriter and host of the pursue on fox nation john rich.
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she's inspiring as she is wiry, host of sincerely cat on fox nation kat timpf. in every vote he is on becomes a submarine, my massive sidekick and host on fox nation tyrus. greg: charles welcome back, what do you think of the shame and blame game you see among the media? charlie: it is incredible and i think you're exactly right, that monologue should have been in the federalist papers, it's a perfect enunciation to federalism, it's what the founders intended and is exactly how you get through something like a pandemic, yet 50 experiments and we cannot just assume that every governor in america wants to do whatever they have to do to save lives, there's going to be different ideas for doing that and we can pick the good ones and learn from the bad ones. but of course the otani is between people who hate trump and trump. no matter what trump does, they hate him and you get a real
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sense that they're rooting for failure because they want to see trump fail. greg: john, if you want to reopen your restaurant or bar, people will say you want people to die. that is how they reason. john: i had a tweet that said that to me today because we opened today in nashville, along with state and city guidelines someone said john rich's new record will be called i killed my fans for money, it's insanity but you can't listen to the nonsense because were trying to get our country back open safely just like charlie just said and that's exactly what were doing. greg: no one knows when to open and no one knows are we too early or too late, there's no exact date, the only way to do is to find out with the 50 openings and see the interaction between the states in the virus, that's what we have to do right?
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kat: i disagree i think we need to remain closed indefinitely and focus on calling trump races over anything and everything, that's really important, especially like this and i'm so glad you brought that up in your monologue, china has been covering up the severity of the coronavirus crisis for a while now and why do people cover things up to make themselves look better, what is it to make yourself look better, engaging competition. that is clearly what he meant, you don't need a phd in social justice to figure that out, you need a dictionary and the ability to read, he was making a point worth making so what should he have done, he should've said you are chinese, i cannot answer that, you asked me that but if a white reporter asked me, then i can totally answer. what does he want people to do or what is he want him to do?
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greg: i cannot answer that, tyrus, this is a great new world and we have the media that is copying on our citizens for the individual concerned, they're not cutting them any slack which drives me crazy. i know it's not a question. tyrus: yes it was a statement, i got you. the thing about it, we have to make decisions and personal individual decisions in this country and that the whole point to be an american, we have the guidelines from the cdc and things we can do but we know that there sharks in the water and whether we standards or go outdoors, we will run the risk, we can take precautions and make that decision but we need to be allowed to make that decision, for me and wants to open up his restaurant under those guidelines and i decide to go to his restaurant because then follow my guidelines and take that chance, there should be no
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argument for that. that should be fine, we know what's going on, whenever they try to make medicine, science political and never works. this is when people are making their own decisions and that's what it's all about. greg: absolutely, we have so much more, i love the show. ken biden sustained ivanka [♪] think you need to buy expensive skincare products to see dramatic results? try olay skin care. just one jar of micro-sculpting cream has the hydrating power of 5 jars of a prestige cream, which helps plump skin cells and visibly smooth wrinkles. while new olay retinol24... provides visibly smoother, brighter skin. for dramatic skincare results, try olay. and now receive 25% off your purchase at olay.com brand power. helping you buy better.
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greg: on brett they were yapping, on joe they are just napping, it's a new segment were calling christmas. it can happen anytime, according to a news buster study, 95 celebrities who spoke out against the supreme court nomination are now silent about allegations against joe biden. or they're defending him. it is only fair we give them a chance to respond to these claims, this is a list of celebrities we e-mailed for comments. jimmy kimmel, deborah and a whole bunch more. now here is a list of those a back twist. , here is the thing mulattos pr people did but they set an op-ed she wrote a few weeks ago where
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she defended hyden. as for joe, he is staying home. apparently he has no foreseeable plans to resume any and person campaigning and will continue a virtual campaign from his cellar in delaware, talk about light and states. we went to jennifer, who unlike his celebs actually got back to us. >> and now joe biden on reigniting the economy. >> come on man it's simple math, you take the marshmallows out of a bowl of lucky charms, what do you get a bowl of cheerios. you know what i learned that from a german shepherd named seth before he went to the army, semper fi seth, let me tell you something uncle joe for great ideas. like unlimited salad and bread six, that is a halloween costume you can put your feet into one leg at a time, text joe purple f
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purchase, you get yourself one free coupon in the rebate, semper fi. greg: there you go. what do you make of the hypocrisy of these accusers, not the accusers but the people that went after kavanaugh not so much anymore. kat: every single one of these people by going after kavanaugh and being silent on biden prove that they are not really allies of sexual assault survivors or women, that's an opinion that a lot of people have, that's in the cases of these people, it would be one thing if it was a glaring difference like it's all the evidence saying that kavanaugh was guilty and it wasn't fair when it comes to biden. , in these cases the one glaring differences kavanaugh was a conservative trump appointee in
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joe biden is a liberal who is going to be running up against donald trump or technically is the presumptive nominee now. a lot of people says this proves that liberals do not care about victims who accuse other liberals, that is not the full story, the full story, they do not care about victims at all because aiming to use someone for political gain, not the same thing about caring about them. greg: so true, john, could joe biden be the only candidate in the history with a strategy is blessing the better? john: i was think about the soul hypocrisy thing going on and i hope you don't mind, i wanted to borrow from the most famous song in the world buyer friend michael odell. >> the worst hypocrisy in the whole wide world visit tmt.com,
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order yours today. greg: you cannot escape my pillow. it's everywhere tyrus, i'm actually sitting on my pillow. tyrus: thank you for sharing. [laughter] greg: can biden when walk campaigning from the seller chain to a radiator? tyrus: sure, only in america, it's very simple, let's be honest, both candidates for the president of the united states have off the field issues, will just say that, i just say what they did together and took it from that, that was a situation with china, president trump said no, i am shutting you down, joe
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biden had to go to the pr campaign intake and we do that in the pc police called him to tell him what his answer was. if you elect joe biden, your electing the pc police with him. that is on the ticket, that's his running mate so i'm going to go with the president that makes a tough choice that might not be popular, might not be okay but you do the right thing and you do what you have to do and you worry about the consequences later to say people whereas every time president joe biden said something he would have to do this okay were going to go without. that is why am going with president trump straight out. greg: tyrus is.is very, very important because there was in
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listing the green new deal stuff, any kind of progressive think the aoc comes up with, he will embrace because he has no backbone, he gets along and goes along to get along, is not the phrase. john: that something that is so terrifying about joe biden. republican should not discount the possibility that joe biden can win from his basement, the amount of free press this guys going to get in the amount of incoming that donald trump has already endured is going to double or triple between now and the election, they will never stop, he could win and what is really scary, if you have friends who say joe biden has been around a long time, he is not harmless, we have no idea who joe biden is anymore, he's a completely hollowed out vessel in which all of these people, the puppeteers are putting stuff, he will embrace anything and he will say anything and if he gets into the white house,
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there is no into the destruction that this guy would do it, it's exactly what tyrus is saying, he has completely surrendered, he is the robot that handed over the controls to the crazy wacko left-wing loonies. how dare you compare him to glorious robots, you know he reminds me of, henrietta from evil dead two, he is the possessed granny in the basement, you cannot let him out. coming up, robots, helping us audible is my road-trip companion. it's kind of my quiet, alone time. audible is a routine for me. it's like a fun night school for adults. i could easily be seduced into locking myself into a place where i do nothing but listen to books. i never was interested in historical fiction before, but i'm obsessed with it now. there are a lot of like, classic and big titles
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now let's take you back to the greg gutfeld show ♪ ♪. greg: the future robot wars, may be on all fours, spot is encouraging social distancing measures in singapore indian pulledeployed to national parksg onboard cameras, can estimate the number of park visitors a broadcast prerecorded message like this one. >> for those around you, please stand around you. greg: nothing intimidating but this too. >> watch the greg gutfeld show saturday at ten. greg: that's great advice, here's one more. >> why didn't somebody tell me that greg gutfeld as a new book
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out, self-help, a compassionate man and he's sexy too, have you seen his hair. greg: slow down robot, but he is not wrong, it is available this july, go to amazon or wherever in order it, the parks department says spot allows them to save money on human personnel and shrink the footprint in the parks, the slowing of viral spread, you may see spot pop up in other places as well, let's hear one more message. it will only be a matter of time before we robot dogs gain control of earth and the beast on your flesh, your all going to die. greg: i did not expect that when, i know you have a solution for all the robotic dogs. what if he turns out to be great? tyrus: great in what way, first of all, how dare anyone refer to that as a dog, nothing about
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that says dog. the legs are backwards, there is no tail, it's a human voice, it is horrible to look at, it scares children, takes our human jobs so park rangers are out of work, now you have beers running wild in the woods taking picnic baskets because they have been replaced by the yellow cockroach robot telling people -- and not everybody is doing everything at the park because they were running for their lives at the strange robotic monster telling them to leave. because if i was with my children i would grab my favorite one and went for. greg: my favorite one at least he's honest. john, this could turn into an amazing sport where they hunt test like animals. john: i was going to say, you beat me too it, i hope we get robotic dogs, robotic cats,
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whatever, bring them onto tennessee because only two words come to mind when i think about that, target practice. it would be so incredible. greg: charlie, i happen to think this will become more of a thing for celebrities to have these on their estate to chase away stockers, you know how the problem. charlie: so they can be the butler's and the jensen's. i don't have a whole lot of experience with the robots but i think my iphone is a robot and i hate it and they would like to smash it with a hammer. i was in the airport one time in south korea and they had a robot that was going around, it was like a mall, it was going up and down the airport askin entering people's questions but nobody was entering a question because people don't talk to thing the rollaround, the robots on the liquor store and kept going into the liquor store and the people behind the counter kept trained to push it out of the liquor store and then it would turn
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around and write down and try to get into another door, you've the same problems with robots as you do a security guard, i don't see or know what problem robots are solving if it turns out the drunks like the rest of us. greg: they also get viruses but you just call it and you solve that. but people at you cannot yell at them and say do you know who i am, you cannot tell me what to do. kat: that's all i ever say. greg: equalizes everybody. kat: i have to agree with tyrus, i'll take it a step further to say that the phrase robot dog is an oxymoron, nothing robots are useless but they could do a lot of things, they can d can't insa healthy emotional bond, that is what dogs are always good for, unless you're a sheep farmer
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like a cop, they have no good utility. my puppy carl, it's all i can help and unload the dishwasher. and if you have a google pop because my parents won't let me get a real pet did not compare to the real thing and that was not the fault of the product, forming emotional bonds with robots is not a wind of a manifestation of a deep emotional trauma. greg: i disagree completely, i love anything robotic because they have no emotions, though not a rational. kat: deep emotional trauma. greg: yes. tyrus: and if you don't like them, a cup of water. greg: that is true, they cannot work in the rain. work in the rain. when we started our business we were paying an arm and a leg for postage. i remember setting up shipstation. one or two clicks and everything was up and running. i was printing out labels and saving money. shipstation saves us so much time.
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men to return? last week and for the very first time since the pandemic began, yes pn broadcast the championship event thirsty for competitive sports, corn hole, it's where you toss the beanbag into a whole i think, since espn had exclusive rights to this event, we cannot get the video port, the stuffer showing his amateur corn hole, amateur corn hole which is the title of the movie i made in the 80s, totally different theme. i burned every copy but one. nascar returned sunday, no fans in the stands of smaller pit crews and will see the race on fox. in florida governor ron disanto said also pro sports teams welcome to practice and play in his state. the games are trying to restart and when pro baseball returns, they will have a new rural, no spitting, imagine that. for a century ballplayers have been spitting but no more.
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this is the end of an era. ♪. greg: exactly. greg: john can you give me something, what is the future of outdoor concerts or any event going to look like, you must have meetings with us all the time. give us some help. john: , the death of spitting, that was classic greg, thank you so much for highlighting the death of spitting. that was heartbreaking honestly. in the concert world, it's not looking good right now, how do
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you social distance 20000 fans, it's going to take a medical breakthrough or vaccine or something like that before were back on the road. people think big and rich is two guys, it is not, instruct drivers and bus drivers him caterers and promoters and there's really millions of people around the country that participate in live music. we are hanging in there, were live streaming and still trying to entertain her fans but it's a tough picture right now to be honest. greg: the one option you can do is make really bad visit under music so fewer people show up but that's impossible for big and rich. john: i do that anyways. greg: stop it. tyrus, what's going to happen to sports, are you happy about cornel? tyrus: the good thing about cornel, anyone on this panel can go pro.
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we can do it, i'm telling you, anyone, we will throw the game off because will have an extra one and will be the fabulous three birds of cornel and the governor which the two they are facing. it'll be epic. that's a good thing about corn hole coming out. sports is going to take time, it's one of those things that i put on the least important of the things that we want back sooner. so i can't wait to go to a baseball game or basketball game or go see my home game concert or the wrestling ring and go back to 100,000 people, those things are very important but in the short term i definitely agree we will have to wait for a vaccine situation for those numbers but that is all right, i'll take corn hole, nascar, is tom okay? o'connor was spitting for years, did anyone check on tom?
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kat: i want to talk about the spitting. greg: okay. kat: you said it's going to be done what i thought they said they were going to limit spitting, so the amount of spitting that they do, that means 1000 spitz instead of spitting the whole time. a room of 30 babies produces less free-flowing saliva than an american baseball team at work. i know this, i researched it was my senior thesis and all i got was a d- in a bunch of cops in my dorm room wondering where all the babies went. greg: we have a segment that mentions corn hole and spitting, totally different idea in my head. charlie, last word to you, i actually have no answers for
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this. charlie: yeah, but you know, this goes back to your monologue which i think is really a very important issue. this idea that you have 50 states, 50 experiments, america was founded on the prospect that people are willing to take risks, we allow people to elect somebody that we are going to put in charge of the largest nuclear arsenal on the planet, i think those same people can be trusted to make decisions about how to keep their family safe and how to keep themselves safe, eventually we need to get back to having sporting events, we have to have a baseball stadium filled with people and the more of those decisions to get made not from the very top but more local levels and alongside those decisions to get made by
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citizens and how to take care of themselves and look out for neighbors, and the thinking will get a whole lot wiser with the people on the ground. greg: the pandemic is stress testing everything in our lives so the stuff that is awkward to work out is going away. spitting is great because it will reduce cancer among players who choose tobacco, something will finally go away, other things will happen, i exercise indoors, i never did that before and i like it because i can wear whatever i want. my favorite story up i got this mountain bike for only $11. dealdash.com, the fair and honest bidding site. an ipad worth $505, was sold for less than $24; a playstation 4 for less than $16; and a schultz 4k television for less than $2. i won these bluetooth headphones for $20. i got these three
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greg: would you trade yourself for feeling like hell apparently for california in may, the l.a. county sheriff department and l.a. has released video that appears to show inmates trying to catch coronavirus on purpose. watch as inmates at a maximum security jail drink from the same styrofoam cup then they all breathe from the same facemask, they share around and place it on their faces. greg: thank god they're protected by the giant yellow
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circle. anyway, based on some mistaken belief among the inmates that if they tested positive, more inmates would be released from jail but that will not happen. i'm glad to hear that, i don't want to see this punk on the streets after robbing my friend carl. [bleep]. greg: the dude ran all the way to the strip club, maxed out carl's credit card, at least that's what carl said. this is an economic lesson, a perfect example of the science of incentives, if you leak hitting the disease through freedom, people get the disease to be free, this is how it works with all incentives. kat: live free or die coughing, that was a movie by the way,
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bruce willis as general john stark, people will do that. plus people who are in jail, this is obviously something that endangers the community and people that work in the jail and go home to their families, i'm not saying everyone because i'm a libertarian so i think people have nonviolent, drug crimes, they should not be in their but a lot of people in jail may not care so much about the community at large, they may not be wanting to get out so they can continue to volunteer at the nursing home on a weekend, some may be, i don't mean the ones who wanted chance to steal grandma's terminal whether in their but it's not surprising that whatever they did to get in jail, they take a risk saints grew the community, screw the rules but they sale take it if i don't have to live in the cage anymore, it is not surprising as
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much as it is to watch it. greg: i did the same thing, five years with tiny or two weeks almost dying. tyrus: one of my best friends name is tiny, let that slide. kat: how dare you. tyrus: this is the argument, the prisoners are showing the same thing how generally most americans feel, they'd rather take their chances with the virus then be in a situation that they're in. lachesis show you the crazy network, people are looking at it that way where they would rather take the chance of dealing with the possibility of the coronavirus than their situation and that's kind of where rat as a country. is it going to get them out of
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prison, i hope not, that sends a message of where the mentality of the country is going. greg: , as our politicians demand we stay indoors, they're letting out rapist in california, they let out sex offenders. john: i don't think these prisoners are thinking this through correctly, the prisons in california where this is going on, all that's going to happen, the get out of prison to be stuck in lockdown and definitely by the governor of california, there's no way out you might've well stay where you're at this point. greg: what do you make of the trade charlie, jail or risk getting covid. charlie: i think i would be in jail in the first place, i would make decisions on the front end to prevent that. , you are right, this is perverse incentives, it's what
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happens but the thing that is really going about it, your great americans were working in the prison as prison guards into keep these people safe, they get exposed to the self because these people, just like what probably got them into the jail on the first place and they do this sort of stuff and it exposes and that can kill them. it's crazy, it's really creepy and were also very troubling because there are good people who wind up getting affected by all the stuff even if they don't manage to get themselves sprung from the slammer. greg: my favorite quote from the new york times professor, he said the resistance to releasing inmates because of a fear, they will make crimes after their set free. ititititit
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greg: thanks to charlie hirt, john rich, cat tenth entire 's on fox news channel. i will see you tomorrow. jesse: welcome to waters world. -- welcome to "watters world." i'm jesse watters. governors better start lifting these lockdowns. people aren't going to take it anymore. there's a rebellion brewing. remember how the tea party got started? the battle cry over the bailouts, rick santelli from the floor of the stock exchange. >> this is america, how many of you people want to pay for your neighbor's mortgage that has an extra bathroom and can't pay their bills. raise their hand. how about we all -- president obama, are you listening? >> the same energy's out there today. you can feel it.
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