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tv   The Greg Gutfeld Show  FOX News  November 29, 2020 2:00pm-3:00pm PST

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greg: yeah. we're calling tonight's show the kid's table because the kid's table always had way more fun than the big thanksgiving table wheree the grown-ups sat, at least when i was a kid in the late '90s. tonight we'll answer questions, playti a few favorite bits and make fun of people who have a lot of power. in other words, we'll have more funor than the other people in e next room. but first, let's welcome tonight's guests. if you're feeling blue, you need a dose of salew. host of the quiz show on fox snation, tom salew. he'll be joking until he'sok
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croaking, which could be soon, you never know. he stood up and cleveland slapp. she stood up and cleveland. >clapped.cat timkat timf and . we have a b bunch of questions u submitted on facebook and twitter. they're all in this hat. don't ask me why. i met the guy at a bar. he left his hat in my room, what can i say. as always, these are directed to ayeveryone, including myself. i will take them out of this hat. the first question, i like this question because for people that are stuck at home, this will make you feel better because you didn't get to travel and see your family. what was your worst vacation? cyrus? >> gee, the jury's still out on
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this one but i went on a family vacation, which is always fun. greg:t right. >> and i had a -- we'll call it a misunderstanding at dinner, apparently the waiter and the manager of the restaurant were huge fans of the show and continued to bring me free drinks and tell me how great i was and apparently didn't sit well withel the other members of the table. so i got into a what you would call an argument where i said you know what, i don't need this, i'm going home. and once i commit to the i'm going home, you got to go home. greg: you can't change your mind. >> unfortunately, it was around 7:00 p.m. in the evening. and most flights were already out. when i went to the front desk and said i need a car, take me to the airport because i'm out of here. they're like sorry, there's nothing out until the morning so i couldn't go back and knock on the door and of course admit wrongdoing because that would be the adult thing to do.
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i paid for another hotel room where i had to get on a plane early in the morning and i had to pay for a ticket and sit in the middle seat with big fans of the show. greg: that's good, though. >> as bad as that was -- that was another 24 hours on a plane, i didn't check it was a connection. [laughter] greg: kat your entire life is a bad vacation. this will be hard. >> when i was in fourth grade, we went to a religious retreat, run by catholic clergy. greg: already i like it. tom's a catholic. be careful. >> we did hiking, bird watching, a lot of pray, slept on plywood. that was actually the fun part. because after we went to niagara falls and i felt really sick. so i had to spend five days in a cabin with no air conditioning and when i got home i was diagnosed with strep throat,en
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double ear infection and sinus infection. my mom said i didn't get sick there because there was more lord there. i don't think she said it that way. but that was a fun -- it was the after, very sick. greg: very sick. well you know what? that's sad. >> offer it up. that's what i say. >> that's what my mom said. for the souls in pergat oory. >> i was really, really catholicic in fourth grade. >> i was anil tar boy. >> i was -- an altar boy. >> i was an altar boy too. >> still now i sleep on a plank. >> does that make you cross? >> thiss is a privilege kind of question, isn't it? greg: it's true. >> when i was a kid, no vacations. i'd say dad, can we go to disney world and he said i got you the view master, look at it on the view master.
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i said can we go to vacation? he said go to the town pool. that's all we had. greg: the town pool, that was my nickname. you can't get away with that. you didn't have one bad vacation? >> okay, i went to the virgin islands and i bought 20 of dollars sandwiches and i went swimming and there was a mongoose eating my sandwich. i spent $20 on that. greg: did you catch that, the cacameraman catch his impressio? virgin islands, not as sized. you know, i -- not as advertised. i was like going like do i go for ones that are weird or do i go for the one -- like there was the exotic vacation that turns out to be not exotic which is like we went to a foreign country and we chose the hotel that used to be the president's house. and so they turned it into a hotel. that sounded like oh, that culture. when we got there it was like a
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stinky house and they had a chef that couldn't cook and had an infestation of massive beatles. -- beetles. this was a problem. it wasn't romantic. the food was terrible. there were strayay dogs that circled the beach, waiting for you to collapse. i won't say what country this is because i think that it was my choosing a terrible place.ing a terrible we barely got out of there alive. but i had another vacation where i -- th worst vacations are stag with people's families. you might like the person but if you don't know the person's family, i if it -- it could get really, real b really bad. i talked about this on the five, the thanksgiving episode. it already aired. it was great. when you're with somebody else's family there's got to be a number of wild cards that you don't know about. >> you learn a lot about the
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person you're with by being around the family, stuff that you don't want to learn. greg: i stayed at a place with an outdoor shower. whiley. i was taking the shower, after i exercised, i looked up and there was a shadow on the slats of the floor and there was somebody over of it, looking down. >> the important part of that story was that you had actually had exercised. >> yes, i had exercised. >> was it the mom or dad? >> it was the mom. >> of course it was. >> it was the mom of. business the way, it happened early on the vacation. so i had four days to spend with them. knowing that she was a peeper. >> you can't say anything. greg: i took eight more showers. no, i took a preshower so i looked good. >> you can't say anything. greg: oo you can't say anything. you can't bring it up. who am i going to tell, her son, a friend of mine, that her mom's a perv. we started dating for a while. it didn't work out. age difference. okay.
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next question -- got a laugh from -- here we go. i've got to find the question here. all right. that's too serious. that was like a real -- how about this one. what was your childhood dream job? did you ever anticipate that you would be my favorite person to watch on tv, that's from cole. i don't know who he's talking about. probably talking about me. tom, i look at joe and i go tom. that was a freaky thing for me. tom, what was your childhood dream job. >> i never wanted to be a performer but i used to love musicals. i thought that was life. i expected i would get a job as ea salesman or in insurance andi would sing at work all the time, i'm like "i'm making the coffee." ♪. i thought it would be a big musical. who wa would want to perform whn you could sing and dance. greg: that's a bizarre thought,
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i'm just going to be a performer at work. >> he was born a performer. tithat's a compliment. imagine how exhausting it is to be close to me. greg: did you have a dream job. >> >> i wanted to do thisms i wanted to live with a bunch of lizards, i wanted to be a lizard lady, like jane goodall with lizards. greg: you kind of do of live with lizards. >> not yet. greg: how do you pronounce the largely glared? >-- large lizard.>> i screw . greg: joe? >> i thought it would be great to be a body builder. you lift stuff and people go, wow. now i got older, i don't have to work that hard. greg: when you were a kid, they had the body building championships on wide world of sports. you would look at it and say i want to do this, i want to be
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this. seems like you could be a superhero, a literal superhero, you have no idea about the roids. >> and depression, insecurity. greg: i wanted to do that. i also wanted to be in a smash-up derby. like smash-up cars. remember that was a big deal? evil questio kenevil. >> you kind of are, verbally. greg: wrote me a scathing letter. when i worked at men's health, we he did this thing called does is work where you review you a product and it was a product for muscle soreness or arthritis. he was the spokesperson and i had written the article saying that it probably didn't work. and he wrote me a two-page letter, front and back, with shaky, scribbling lines. you could tell he had broken every bone in his body.
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>> i'm sure it was hard for him to write. greg: i don't have that letter. >> and he's one of your idols. i lucked out, as a kid, i remember doing rants because we were broke so i would always tell everybody i was going to play football, play professional wrestling, be an actor. the only thing i did wrong is i didn't specify longevity. you know what i'm saying? i'm going d to do all these things, of course you can and ironically i have, just you can't do them all at the same time. i didn't anticipating the firings and down time in between. so i had this master plan of everything i was going to do but -- and i said things like i'm buying mo my mom a sports car aa house and they hold you to those things when you make it. they think you're on tv and you make tons of money. kei had awesome plans. i didn't realize that each one, you're supposed to do one and be really good at that one thing and then you retire.
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not me. so i keep trying to go back to my childhood, make sure i didn't e.bring up anything else like prison guard or a car get-away driver, because if things go downhill. greg: there's no get-away drivers any more. what that went away. my next live show in support of my book, the plus, two weeks away, at speedway, speedway, speedway in south carolina, sunday, sunday, sunday. special guest tom salew. up next, the covid snitch. eld.c. still your best friend. and now your co-pilot. still a father. but now a friend. still an electric car. just more electrifying. still a night out. but everything fits in. still hard work. just a little easier. still a legend.
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greg: does she really fake you're willing to fake? oregon governor has a message for states residents this holiday season, call the cops on your neighbor if they break or covid rules. >> this is no different than what happens if there's a party down the street and it's keeping everyone awake. what do neighbors do? the call law enforcement because it's too noisy. greg: she has never been invited to a party come it's so obvious.
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she really imposed a two-week freeze on organ that limits gatherings to no more than six people at no more than two households. violators could face 30 days in jail, massive fines or both. of course she didn't call out the protesters and didn't call out the protesters a summary there. law enforcement officials said they don't plan on enforcing brown's rules. something tells me this woman is in your view of the antichrist. >> she really is and at this point we can't get angry because she started ignoring them. my favorite thing president trump said was he called his rally of peaceful protest and that really should catch on. we just have to stop listening to them and ignoring what they say. it it's time for civil disobedience on this issue. we can't take them seriously any more. here are your new restrictions, no. greg: kat she's trying to turn
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our country into a nation-state or its. >> oregon likes cops now? it's a 30 days in jail thing. whether you end for? i had two people over and this is in new york because by the way not a publication that is egg on resistance to governor coronavirus restriction saying there's little to no evidence of small gatherings are massively contributing to the spread of this. in oregon is limited to six even if it's outside. there are three places that there is evidence and that's health care facilities nightlife and correctional facilities. this lady is saying if you see something doing something that there's little to no evidence that contributes to the spread call the cops and potentially send them to one of three places
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where we do have this problem. there is no logic to this. greg: i would say they are drunk on power tyrus. >> i think they are drunk on their --themselves but i think they are drinking their own bathwater. drinking your own is just arrogant. i would call it hypocrisy but with hypocrisy there is a form of ignorance but i guarantee you if there's a fly on the wall where she's at she will be just fine. they do this all the time. telling someone, i guess i was thinking about her name is kate, correct? she's trying to replace karen with kay. the idea of encouraging people to call the police on their neighbors for no other reason then you are staring through their window, so now when i grew up it was frowned upon to be a sorry, peeping tom. now it's encouraged to call number one is there an emergency? i just witnessed an elderly man
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has mashed potatoes to what appears to be his grandchild with three people taking pictures. we will be right there. should we kick in the door? everybody on the ground. there are only four here. drop that ladle. this is sadness. we talked about this on our podcast you can take recommendations and basically someone needs to be honest and say do the best that you can with what you've got it if you are willing to have your family together in your own home here at the risks and make the best decision. that's what comes from dr. fauci and responsible doctors. dr. don't tell you what to do, they advise you what to do and they are telling you what to do for no other reason so they can get on this and have us talk about it. greg: have you ever call the cops and their neighbors or have the neighbors ever called the cops on you?
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>> i got caught loitering once but i was acquitted. i'm going to play devil's advocate here but it's obviously not constitutional for the executive branch member to make a law that says you can't assemble with who you want but it's a great time to be a snitch. i would love calling 911 saying it looks like they have too many friends over there. >> the friend police. >> it seems like they are more popular. greg: that's what this is. >> i'm fine. greg: it's one of those things, there was something shameful about calls like if the neighbor has allowed bar kids like calling the police on them, you just can't do that. it puts you in a different place in the universe. you are the person even if that party is loud if you have to get up at 5:00 a.m. and they are parting at 2:00 a.m., that's
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different. i had to call the police could actually call the concierge. >> i think it's a limit. give them till 10:00 and then you do the walk over. say turn it down a little bit. greg: i don't like going to someone's house and telling them to turn it down because you end up with another drunk person. >> they call downstairs about the music. i was doing a podcast, listen call the cops because i'm not doing anything wrong. >> sometimes i call the cops on my own party. break this up. greg: when the cops come to my party i just assume they are strippers. all right, take it off. anyway. is that always the go true uniform? >> i got the hat buddy matt.
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he asked for the chaps and i'm wearing them. when we return we continue to bare our souls and answer questions, especially yoursrsrss (harold) twelve hundred strings of lights. (betsy) quarter mile of tinsel. (harold) and real snow all the way from switzerland. (betsy) hmmhm... gonna be tough to top. ♪ (betsy) well played. (vo) add some thrill to your wish list. at the season of audi sales event. get exceptional offers now.
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>> days after millions of americans ignored health guidance to avoid travel and large thanksgiving gatherings, officials are bracing for the
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worst as all those people head home as coronavirus cases are surging nationwide. the virus affected more than 13.3 million americans and killed more than 266,000. in portland, oregon, a police car was set on fire and severely damaged saturday night, prompting authorities to launch an arson investigation. the vehicle was parked in a city fleet lot for repairs. joe biden slips, twisting his ankle. the president-elect playing with her german shepherd when the accident occurred. he is being examined by an orthopedist out of an you abunde of caution. i'll be back with a new fox report. now, greg gutfeld. greg: there are too many great questions that we have taken earlier so we are back with more of your mail.
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this is from heather. heather thomas, heather locklear, heather johnson who lives on my street. when you were in middle school grades six through eight, thanks for the clarification heather what was your biggest challenge or fear? kat? >> growing up to have a mediocre life. greg mankiw got rid of that. >> i've really never did. the mold in my eyes cause me a lot of stress. >> nobody notices until you pointed out. if a person does the twitter account that's the problem. >> it grew back in my 20s and i said it might destiny.
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greg: moles can't disappear and grow back. i beg to differ. which gender would it be? greg: i guess moles can be female i don't know. tom did you have any fears? >> i did not. i had no challenges. some people thought i was nerdy. greg: i think that is cared -- categorized as being a nerd. >> i am a. that's different than a nerd. a is a nerd with a lot of confidence. do you want to go out and date? i would never grow with you. i will call you next week. stockers keep rules. i don't call the cops though. they keep it to myself. greg: it's good to have you is the neighbor then.
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you are starting to frighten me. joe i don't even know where to start with you. middle school, not that long ago for you. >> those were tough times. the kids are in a big group for the first time in you are trying to act cool and be an adult. i was a kid and i didn't have that confidence that tom has so the hard thing for me was tried to embrace who i was as someone who is rather. >> now you exude confidence. greg: you make it work for you. >> once i hit puberty and got the bodybuilder to seek everything came together. greg: tyrus you are always a big kid. >> yeah but i created robbins for myself. i moved around a lot so i used to make up who my dad was so i
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wouldn't feel bad about the father and son stuff like that. at first it was robert farris from the chiefs. it's basketball season and that's why he's not coming. it's really far from california. and it was james earl jones and i was going to school and i went to a magnet school. fifth grade, my dad is doing a movie right now james earl jones and apparently the vice principal was an extra who worked on some stuff with him and he said oh i know your dad. [bleep] but i used to do that a lot because people especially at a magnet school my mom worked two jobs so she wasn't coming to do anything. when i was in sports people were like when is your dad coming? he is coming. he's in the nba year-round playing basketball. it got around and apparently the
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vice principal was a blabbermouth. he said this kid is a liar. he's telling everyone the james earl jones as his father and the teacher is doing this. >> the voice of darth vader. >> i didn't know he was darth vader. i saw conan the barbarian. we kind of look alike a little bit. >> they were storylines. greg: they were narratives. we have a good question from alicia. what selfless act was done for you that have the most impact on your life and who did it? i already now my answer but kat i will ask you. >> i would say when i was living in l.a. at 22 i was on "fox news" and a the woman who still works there in the radio department gave me my demo tapes in my squalor of part --
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apartments. i had garbage hanging from the cabinets. she sat there with me and helped me record. she probably left with some sort of illness. greg: i would have thanked greg gutfeld for putting me on red eye. joe. >> it was such a big break for me and this comedian coming up in the world. it was a real shot in the arm. >> it's the reason i stopped living with rodents. i can give you that. >> was that question from greg? greg: for real. >> one time my dad told me the story about how we used to bowl with the former champion boxer
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and it donned any he doesn't roll anymore. probably he gave up holding because he had kids to raise and sometimes the biggest sacrifices are the things people don't do any more and my parents gave up a lot for me and i'm certainly grateful. greg: there you go. wow. >> my parents didn't give up [bleep]. greg: somebody give up something for you, right? it must have been somebody. >> james earl jones. he came to my school when i said everyone was laughing at me and he showed up and brought me my lunch. see you around, kid. i never forgot that, james earl jones thank you for showing up at my sixth grade class that day in proving all of them wrong. greg: is it true about joe
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namath? i didn't see it going this way but i will take it. this whole show is a testament. >> calling in sick that they allowed me to guest toes and the night before we went to dinner. i did not put anything in your food. greg: oh boy. somebody married me. that's pretty selfless. >> yeah wow. thank you. greg: i won this round. nobody can watch this. you chose to make a joke about james earl jones?
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greg: i'm very obnoxious. they had to put up with me 24/7. they had to put up with me 24/7. we will talk about biden's not allstate has almost as many ways to save as there are cars.
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save for being a new customer, for adding drivewise, and for driving safely. whatever you drive, start driving down the cost of insurance. ♪ greg: he has got a plan to make his cabinet land. joe biden announces top cabinet picks this week week made a clear demonstration plans to reprioritized global interest. of course the media couldn't be happier. >> i was talking to democrats who said it felt like we were being rescued from this craziness for the last 40 years and hear the superheroes come to save us all. greg: rescued from what? feeling bad? if you're looking for a job it's never better time than to be an establishment hack with a terrible record. looking forward to people like antony boykin is secretary of
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state alejandro mayorkas as secretary of security helping foreign and festa gators. it's shaping up to be a who's who's list of who but the biggest john kerry as some kind of climate wizard. he knows how to cool the planet down because he was alive during the ice age. he inspired less confidence in bryant's daughter's diet pill. it's a tough pill to swallow but not as tough as this. [laughter] greg: i'm underwhelmed by that video. do you have any hopes for these choices at all? >> i don't have much in the way of hope that he is not going to
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pick the best and the brightest because he has said he's going to avoid picking any sitting congress people are senators because they don't want to lose any seats so he's less concentrated on having an effective cabinet then hanging onto votes in power could shame on him. greg: that is such a great point. i'm stealing that for the fight. i'm writing this down. that means something else for them from kat. are you worried about were? >> he might as well of hired a giant medaling drone treat people are going on about his experience. that truly is a lot of experience being a called in the war machine. everyone in the media talks about his success with diplomacy and that's true but it's not the whole story. he was a major supporter of obama's libya campaign and that didn't go so well. saudi arabia didn't go so well a chief adviser to biden when biden voted for the iraq war.
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he still says obama didn't do enough in syria. and that's to see how democratic hated police and they are anti-police but they want this guided be a cop of the entire world. greg: i thought with roque that habit. tyrus what are your thoughts in general? >> i like to see people pat themselves on the back before they do anything. i always think that's great. in a horror movie i've ever seen it so happy and great. this is the best camping site ever. oh my god we did it. let's get the camp liar. i will be right back. i'm going to go in the shed. i'll be right back. i try to keep an open mind but when i see the media, they are saving us. from what? once again and we were talking
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about this on the break they are going to be so thirsty for some type of drama. they will continue to go after the president because they miss him. all there'll pics with all their issues which will once again sour the american voter and they will be in the same position where they were or where they have these great plans and they will lose house seats and lose the senate and in four years they will lose the election. they are learning from past mistakes. democrats just don't get it. greg: they are going back. joe. >> i'm really knocking this one out of the park. i always say the more time that goes on between the original and the people that second act is going to be worse. we have had four years of the obama swap cabinet and it's coming back. if you like endless war and you like people like the russian hoax you will get more of the
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same but i think that's going to be a "star wars" theme. greg: we talked about this on the break. they are priding themselves on being a boring administration and they are being boring doesn't start wars but that's where they start import them. four years of the same excitement under trump where people were delirious. one side was having a mental breakdown and the rest of the planet had no idea what to do and what happened? may be boredom leads to war and the opposite of order leads to peace and we are heading. >> into a war. >> nobody wanted to be that one guy who pushed trump. even north korea was like let's send them a nice letter. are you crazy? nobody wanted to be that
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country. i dare you. greg: you listen to these poor souls talk about how they were kept up at night because of trump's tweets but think about the parents who got body bags. there were fewer body bags into people's homes that you are all [bleep] over tweets. sorry, thanksgiving. >> in the media they claim they just want to stop talking about it that they will continue to talk about trump for the next four years. greg: exactly and then he comes back and talk back to people. it's going to be better than the first. this will be godfather to. this will be aliens. this will be aliens. we can do better than evil dead.
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i'm going through this in my head now, movies and i should just shut up because we are running out of time. coming up shillue and tim videos
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greg: you know the best part of the holiday weekend -- that's to bryant's daughter jokes. some of our favorite videos of the year. back in early march was warranted in due so well that democratic primary. we asked what that meeting must have been like to take a look. >> with that hit pretty hard on tuesday and i think it's time we seriously think about. >> my experience fighting racism in the south? >> no. >> firefights like you never saw. they will never forget. when we hit normandy it was like
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nothing you've ever seen. >> no was going to believe you fought in world war ii. >> i'm pregnant with an alien baby. >> you are 70. >> are you saying i'm 272 the pregnant? check this out. we don't tolerate age shaming. you are fired. goodbye, good diet. all right, okay so who won last night? >> joe biden. >> okay so now i identified as joe biden. i'm not his father. that's it i got slammed for that too. i'm not his dad. i just need to figure out what song i'm going to dance to at my victory party. i'm going to dance on out of here now guys. ♪
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[applause] greg: too bad she didn't win or anything because that's a great liz warren impression. here's a moment when liz called joe biden out to his running mate with a special guests. >> and now joe biden face times with warren. >> hey liz adds chopra to have a problem. >> is a woman of color i'm totally qualified to speak on these issues. >> what did those hornets ever do except play great basketball? >> that's why you need a vp who knows about this stuff. just ask my friend michael jordan. we played together for the chicago in the 80s.
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did somebody say 80s? c hunter, is that you? >> that's my friend nancy we started go women's suffrage movement with our roommate in college susan b. anthony. >> i told them everything i know about racism, donald trump and of course donald trump's racism. >> sounds that were cut from the same cloth. >> i think he still alive. >> catch and release, hunter, catch and release. greg: tom shillue that was an instant fan favorite and we can only wonder what we should do next. >> now adam schiff starts his new job.
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>> can i get a large cappuccino please? >> named? >> mike. >> i don't like it you. i shall call you derek. a large cappuccino, coming up. a cappuccino for derek. >> did you just start at starbucks? >> do you need room for cream? a large cappuccino for derek. enjoy. >> thank you? greg: well done. all three covid. those were the days. we will be right
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dwreg * we are out of time.
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thanks to tom shillue, joe mackie, kat, tyrus. i'm greg gutfeld. jon: president-elec elect joe bg quickly to fill his cabinet as president trump is challenging the results of the race. making claims of widespread voter fraud in the first tv interview since the election. that evening i am jon scott and this is the "fox report". ♪. jon: president trump back at the white house after spending the holiday weekend at camp david. this morning he spoke to maria bartiromo on "sunday morning features" insisting that the election was rigged as his campaign looks to take the fight to the supreme court. >> you need a supreme court willing to make aea

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