vaccinated, joined team pfizer and idea go jogging today in the park. this was the mask i wore with a doctor's mask under it. we do wait, there were two masks. she had to wear to mask? why stop at two? if they make her happy, how about five, six, seven? >> i have said it before, if you hate cops just because they're cops, then feel free to call a criminal, call and method the next time you get in trouble. >> greg: sounds good. does anyone have hunter's number? ♪ ♪ [applause] every morning i tried to find a story that gets me out of bed, something that shouts "gutfeld, take off my handcuffs and put down the cool whip."

i tried to look for stuff that other media giants ignoring i try not to wake up jesse. i like what the news denies because that is where the truth lies. take this brawl at the miami international airport. it's simply amazing. >> [shouting] >> [bleep] [bleep] >> greg: wouldn't hurt to hold your phone horizontally? of course it's all on video and like a rash, i got on spring break, it's gone viral. it's already beaten the oscars and the ratings. it's like beating ted bundy and friend requests. it's kind of easy. it happened on concourse d,

k-12, stone's throw from starbucks but i don't condone violence. apparently that allegedly which we be popular children's names next year, pastors are waiting for their flight when a group was told there were three standby seats and they were a party of four. the first mistake, flying to chicago. unless you're a drug meal with , you won't stand a chance. that word always gets a laugh, rob. an argument developed with the agent who asked another group if they would like to fly instead of the four who didn't want to split up. both exchanging pleasantries. what began as a give-and-take degenerated into a more passionate exchange as conflicting points of view were presented and rejected. like a speech at the oscars it keeps going and going. it's like being on hold with

american airlines. if this is happening before you board, how are they going to share an armrest? usually you have to wait until you're at baggage claim for something like this. they look like they escaped from the jerry springer show. it's fun to watch but after eating the spirit airlines clam plate, you feel really sick. you think maybe this is it. if this is the kind of thing that can happen at an airport especially during preboarding with children traveling alone on adults we need a little more time are invited to board, wiry surprise when it happens in our streets? this isn't outside portland city hall, it's an airport. where your granddad might be if he wasn't sequestered in a basement watching infomercials hiding from a disease he's already vaccinated for. no wonder so many people think

violence is an okay method to achieve political goals. they are willing to use it for airline seats. we are watching generations not in decline but completely disconnected from agreed-upon standards of decency. i know every older generation says this about the young kids but this feels kind of words. it's about the loss of human interaction, the ability to reason and cooperate. the ability to see a problem through and figure out how to work toward a mutually beneficial outcome that doesn't include kicking someone in the head. that behavior will earn you know upgrades at delta or in life. but it's what successful people learn when they're young. impulse control, cooperation, hopefully from their parents or mentors or a suitable role model like greg gutfeld. without that, you don't have a future. you're at the bottom in your life goes downhill from there. unless you're alec baldwin, then you just look for someone to blame for that hill being there. i wonder why no one intervened. the brawl multiplied which presented witnesses and their smartphones with a moral

dilemma. which fight do you film? three guys attempting to beat a fourth guy to death with a more evenly matched fight between the other four guys? choose the wrong one and it may not go viral. how are you supposed to get self-esteem by earning the respect of your family and peers? we are a nation of ken burnses minus the sugar bowl haircut. when arches witnessing the decline of western civilization. we are taping it. people stand around watching. why intervene questioning that's not their job. cops do that sort of thing. what a bunch of suckers. then we blame them. you might end up like a cop who prevents a stabbing. security arrived. no wonder the lockdown hold so much appeal with steady paychecks. i'm not afraid of breaking lockdown rules because i might get covid. i am afraid because i make it

stamp all reporting. if you must travel, remember to do so in groups of three or fewer. or take greyhound. it has a higher class clientele. welcome tonight's guests. in college she majored in saying the quiet part out loud. my fellow cohost on "the five" and "watters world" host, jesse watters. he is so libertarian he owns the rights to what and ever. kmele foster. he has done more screenwriting than a graffiti artist. writer and producer rob long. she never cries over spilled milk. it's not like there's any booze in it. kat timpf. welcome to the show, jesse.

>> jesse: thank you. i want to congratulate you. no one ever thought you'd make it this far. and it's an honor to be on a show with an exclamation point behind it, like other great shows such as alvin and the chipmunks. scooby doo be due where are you and i am a celebrity, get me out of here. >> greg: i saw that one coming. i want to congratulate your assistant johnny for coming up with those. >> jesse: are you saying i don't do my own research? >> greg: you're probably upset that i got that tape before i did? >> jesse: will be using it on "watters' world" this weekend. i will get it by the time it hits. when i saw this i thought that's

why americans don't lose wars. we are ready to brawl over a standby seat in miami. imagine if they came from new jersey. it would be a bloodbath. where's the security when i go to an airport? my mother sets off an alarm with her fake hip and security distance on her like a terrorist. where is everybody. we would have tough guys breaking up fights. now all the tough guys tape it and sell it to tmz. if you get involved, you get canceled and you don't want that. but i do know you did this video for one reason. to show how dangerous it is to fly commercial so when you renegotiate your next contract you fly private. i am on to you. >> greg: he is onto me. when i was watching it, it's like whatever happened to fair fights? with the -- if each one paired off i would be okay with it.

three on one here. people kicking people when they're down. i only do that anonymously. >> the very best thing about the pandemic to the extent there could be a best thing was that the airports were completely up to and i had all these opportunities to ride on planes, fly on first class. never in coach. all the opportunities to fly by myself. we are getting back to normal and there are complete and under brawls, chaos. >> kat: restaurants are still out 50% capacity so there's nothing to do. people have got to do this. >> greg: what a low standard. >> kat: backed guy that did get beat up, he decided not to press charges. he was like, that punch hurts but i feel alive again!

>> greg: i will say, rob, i remember when i had that kind of energy. i got exhausted just following the action. you go wow, you can barely move from the chair? >> rob: mesmerized by the pants right now. look, i think what you said in your monologue was may be the dumbest thing i've ever heard you say. >> jesse: i like this guy. >> rob: the greatest thing we have seen? that's normal. this happened precovid all the time minutes normal. people on standby fighting going crazy. this is fantastic. it's over. we are fighting and airports. we are back. this made me so happy. more. >> greg: rob, would you have intervene? should you? >> rob: you know what, are you kidding? at that point i am in a

tgi friday's. two-thirds away through the margaritas. no. in my neighborhood. >> greg: do you ever go for the larger beverage? when they offer you an extra shot? >> rob: yeah. they don't offer it to me. i order it ahead of time. >> jesse: he would be rude to send a shot back. >> rob: eyes start that it was all going to be supersized. >> kat: and they don't have masks on. that's why i have the real problem. >> rob: that was in miami. i came back from miami. covid didn't happen in miami. >> greg: no one stopped. i was there on the fourth of july lee did close down the beaches which was ridiculous. >> rob: that was because you are in a speedo. >> kat: the beaches were close. >> greg: up next, what happens when local workers try to take on the boss? did you know you can go to libertymutual.com

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>> greg: they think they have the power to make their bosses cower. some employees at simon & schuster have submitted a petition demanding they stop making book deals with people from the trump administration. this after the company signed mike pence, the former vice president to a two book deal earlier this month. last week the ceo pushed back on the petition saying "we come to work each day to publish, not cancel." the petition collected 3700 signatures but only about 216 were from actual employees. what's weird is the next day simon & schuster announced 260 new job openings. i wish. some people at "snl" who didn't

buy tesla stock are pissed off elon musk is hosting the show. elon musk and the musical guest will be miley cyrus where she will be turning 50. she looks great but you can hear it in her voice. very raspy. elon musk tweeted "let's find out just how life "snl"'s." a cast member said "what the f does this even mean? a fair question since most of the crew members elon musk planned to send to mars will die. nm bernie sanders suite about how the 50s wealthiest people on more than the bottom of americans. follow her for laughs. elon musk is the third richest person in the world pending anymore jeff bezos divorces. with that in context, lauren

lornemichaels is also filthy ri. the complainers wish to silence. they see older white males. let's ask an expert. ♪ ♪ >> so they don't want to publish these authors are let this guy on tv because i with him. that's a tough one. give me a second. i'm good at this. i've got it. don't buy the book. change the channel. >> greg: angry white male, rob. >> jesse: you were supposed to cast me for that guy. >> greg: you are a little too

on the nose. >> jesse: i didn't think i was that angry. >> greg: you wouldn't have to stretch. i would just have to wake you up. rob. >> rob: tom shillue handle that power to like you knows when a power to lose and they gave the oscar to anthony hopkins? this guy is delivering for you. talent. >> greg: don't say that because then he'll want money. i got him and that fox internship program. >> jesse: they still have that? that should have been canceled along time time ago. >> greg: do you have any thoughts? >> rob: two thoughts. elon musk invented electric cars. that used to be something people who were progressive would be like electric cars, the most famous electric car in the world he invented. he's also kind of a weirdo, oddball freethinking unpredictable character. you think that would be somebody

those people would want to have around for laughs because that's the point of the show. they don't want that. everybody wants normal. they used to be against normal but now they are for normal. the thing about simon & schuster, how many trump administration figures could they possibly publish? tons. he fired people and rehire them and fired them three times a week. there's probably 2,000 people who had one job they are. there's no way they can publish them all. >> greg: kmele, it's like we are going after -- this is guy who's an independent thinker who was kind of quirky but he's got to go. just for that, he's -- he has to believe everything they believe. >> kmele: among the only super-duper wealthy people who when you hear him talk, you imagine this is what he really means because he says the things

he means in those instances. i'm also wondering about "snl" which has not been funny for a very long time. elon musk doesn't strike me as a guy with a tremendous amount of comedic timing. i don't know that he's going to bring the quality of the show up very high although the show hasn't been funny in sometime. >> greg: can i ask, why do you have an extra pair of shoes? >> kmele: i couldn't decide which shoes to wear. maybe i will switch at some point. >> greg: you didn't want to wear the white shoes? because we are angry white males? >> kmele: i don't believe in raise. i don't practice that. >> greg: this is a first, somebody brings an extra pair of shoes as if there might be a mud puddle. >> kmele: one never knows what they will encounter. >> greg: especially on the show. i tend to have accidents now and again. kat, you're no accident. >> kat: i don't think i was.

i was the oldest. >> greg: if you said to me i don't want that guest on the show because i disagree with his beliefs, what do you think i would say? >> kat: we would never have any guests on the show. [laughter] we would never. i don't agree with everything that mike pence believes and i know that because i was able to listen to and read them. and form an opinion which is a valuable thing. he's also a former vice president. he's not just a random bridge troll, not that i would not read that book. bridge troll life is fascinating. but a lot of people to agree with him. you would want to understand and engage with it and be able to have more knowledge and not lasts about an entire period in history. to have this view that your view is not just the only view that's desirable for people to consume

but acceptable for people to consume is arrogant. thinking that it makes you a good person is also delusional. >> greg: cowardice, fear that may be that person's other ideas might influence yours. you should be so confident. jessie, you have a special announcement since we are talking about books, right? >> jesse: you really blew that set up. i want to talk about simon & schuster. the trump people have goals and it's because they spent hours and hours around president trump. think about how many offhanded, insane comments. i was lucky enough to have dinner with him at the white house. he spent 20 minutes for ranking all the fighters in the world by their ferocity. taliban, kamikaze, isis. that's the chapter. if you have that, you have to publish it.

>> greg: i thought you meant professional fighters. this is even better. >> jesse: actual fighters that try to kill people. and then on this "saturday night live" thing, you do you remember in school and they would bear you up into group projects and you got paired up with the maniac and you'd really arise. you have to carry the maniac. jimmy or johnny or jesse, whoever that person is. you can't raise your hand to the teacher and say lorne michaels, i don't want to work with this guy. you want to work with the maniac especially when the maniac is rich. whatever happened is sucking up to wealthy people? this guy. musk comes on the show. throwback drinks after the show on saturday night that he's in your rolodex. the next time you go out to l.a., you call them up when you say, can we come over, just to impress your friends. maybe next rocket ship takes off, you're on standby. that is the standby that you want to fight for.

>> greg: well done. >> jesse: was it? >> greg: the states that are losing congressional seats. can you guess which ones? good boy! [laughs] ♪ hold my pouch. ♪ trust us, us kids are ready to take things into our own hands. don't think so? hold my pouch.

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of cancer keytruda is approved to treat at keytruda.com, and ask your doctor if keytruda can be part of your story. >> greg: are the east and west coast smiley toast? according to recent census data, new york state and california laws congressional seats due to a stalled growth. they've lost more people than general custer. that's an old joke. people are leaving new york state. taxes, covid lockdowns and dying in nursing homes. also rising crime as police morale plummets preretirement rates for new york cops are skyrocketing, 75% from a year ago. the retirement rates for criminals are holding steady. in places like texas, the population is growing at a faster rate, giving them two

more seats in the house of representatives. that's not the case in california where u-haul trucks are getting harder to find than kevin spacey. people are leaving the state faster than terrified teens and in our kelly pool party. i stopped at two. kmele, you left new york at just about the right time and you moved to california. >> kmele: it was a strange decision. i'm across the bay. it's lovely. the only problem i have is a lot of my neighbors, they lurch at the opportunity to talk to me, express their allyship, how much they care and how important i am and how much my life matters. it's a little bit overwhelming. >> jesse: you want to be ignored like you were in

new york. >> kmele: everywhere you turn, we really care, you belong here. we want you to stay. >> greg: oh, my god, that's so funny. and true. kat, when people flee and go to other states, they should be allowed to vote? >> kat: yes. >> greg: next question. temporary voting ban so they don't ruin the states they moved to, unless it's kmele. >> kat: i'm not sure what the legal basis for a while like that would be. >> greg: there is none. >> kat: that would be my concern. i love the way this was framed, like population shift, et cetera. not like people fleeing syringe and feces littered wastelands. >> greg: i've been there.

>> kat: not since we got the cleaning lady. but remember when everyone was saying over the summer. g.o.p. everyone is going to flee new york and california, this talking point. well, no. it sucks here. >> greg: people are voting with their feet. i just came up with outline, jesse. >> jesse: that's what he's got two pair of shoes. he's going to vote twice. it's like the social scene. do you want to go to a party in new york with a $20 cover and mask rules and speech codes in a dangerous neighborhood or do you want to go to a party in texas where everyone gets in for free and there's no curfew and there's $5 pitchers. that's the party want to go to. blue states are paying a price for their uptight policies.

when i saw this, i think the american birth rate is at its lowest rate since the '30s. i was walking my newborn in the stroller and he said dad, he said we really need to increase the american birth rate so we don't become like japan or the e.u. and have a bloated welfare state. i said son, that the very astute observation and then he said thank you for conceiving me and i said thank your mother. but it's true. we really need to start -- >> laura: off your 3-week-old son things i should get pregnant? >> jesse: there are exceptions to every rule. >> greg: the book of haiku poetry. rob, you did the opposite that kmele did. you moved from new york to new -- l.a. to new york at the worst time. >> rob: i didn't realize i was leaving one thing for the other,

stepping over one refuse to another. your kid sounds a little slow to me. >> jesse: i'll get him into any school. >> rob: the new york census, there's only two dozen -- i don't know votes, but counts? i remember i filled out my newer expenses. i did that. i kind of put it off i had to do it because it's the law. i think i got a little drunk and i may have had some fun with some of the ethnic designations. if there is a federal program coming out soon for people whose ethnicity is that they come from undersea kingdoms, that was me. i apologize. i'm making a little joke. i >> greg: it worked. new york city is disgusting. the homeless now don't just have a shopping cart. it's full on sanford and sons. talk about a reference nobody remembers.

it was a junk shop, for god sake. >> kat: i am so young! i'm so young and beautiful and i have so much life ahead of me. >> greg: the supreme court cheerleader case to end allss supreme court cheerleader cases. ourselves constantly; it's important. we walk three to five times a week, a couple miles at a time. - we've both been taking prevagen for a little more than 11 years now. after about 30 days of taking it, we noticed clarity that we didn't notice before. - it's still helping me. i still notice a difference. prevagen. healthier brain. better life. losing a tooth didn't stop you but your partial can act like a bacteria magnet, putting natural teeth at risk. new polident propartial helps purify your partial and strengthens and protects natural teeth. so, are you gonna lose another tooth? not on my watch!

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>> greg: should you get a pastor talking smack outside of class? the supreme court, like a regular court but with cheese and sour cream, while her arguments they can decide if schools can punish kids for saying things off campus. it with a 14-year-old from pennsylvania. she got cut from the varsity cheerleading squad. i've been there. she went on snapchat gave the finger, started cursing. f everything. it was terrible. her post was all wrong. should've started with give me a f, give me a u. but you know, when i got caught

for the varsity cheerleading squad, i took it like a man. i ate half a gallon of cookie dough ice cream and cried myself to sleep while watching "the notebook." the coach saw the post and suspended her for a year even though the video was made off-campus. her parents sued saying that her free speech rights were violated. two lower courts agreed. the school district appealed and here we are. let's check in with joe mackie. can you talk about the legal precedents? >> the supreme court ruled that teens have free speech rights as long as it's not disruptive but no one will believe that coming from you because i am wearing a tablecloth for some reason. >> greg: you will never be allowed inside.

kat, as a woman, this issue of cheerleading must strike at the core of your very being. >> kat: u.s. solid understanding of what's important to me. really. this is absurd. i don't think school should be able to have any say in what kids do off of the campus. people are like, what about bullying? well, it's not good. it's not the school's business. if you never bullied and you don't have any trauma, you will never grow up to be fine. >> greg: so you are saying jesse was never bullied. jesse, you have 12 daughters. would you ever let them cheerlead. >> greg: i know about two of them. >> jesse: if i were a cheerleading coach. my parole officer says i'm not allowed. i would cut this girl. >> kat: from the team. oh! >> jesse: you are a sick

person. >> laura: what are you saying? >> jesse: she is destroying morale. we have state championships coming up and i run a very elite cheerleading squad. but in general i don't like schools punishing students for what they're doing off-campus. i like the cat-and-mouse game. if you get caught leaving campus, you go do whatever you do. if they don't catch you doing it, you're good. if they catch you coming back on campus than they can nail you for that. you should be able to do whatever you want off-campus, especially on weekends. the headmaster should not be able to punish you. your parents should punish you for that. my parents were both headmaster so i got punished two times. it was a tricky situation. >> kat: all she did was [bleep] cheerleading. the school doesn't need to get involved. that's a short they should have sold topic. >> kmele: it's a public

school. it's state censorship. >> greg: that's how you would look at it? they're going to hear arguments tomorrow, as i pretend to know what i'm talking about. >> kmele: wait, you can say [bleep] on "gutfeld!"? >> jesse: how is this my first booking? i am going to do this show every night. >> greg: we do bleep had. if we have this technology when we were growing up in the 90s, we be screwed, right? >> rob: i feel like this is the worst john hughes movie ever. also the idea of the profanity. have these people heard cardi b? you can listen to it in the school? >> kat: you listen to cardi b in the schools? >> rob: i don't know how schools work anymore.

the young woman who sings about the buttocks. she sings about being excited. she sings about getting excited. i've got to feel like, she's got a case. it seems personal. they didn't like what she said. she use those words. i don't know, i'm making this up. she said it's about them and they're kind of mad. it seems punitive to me. >> jesse: one is a yogurt store? >> rob: where did the kids hang out? the local yogurt store. >> jesse: i'm not allowed 30 yards outside of a yogurt store. >> greg: because you're not cultured. i know. i can't resist. rose mcgowan said democrats

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>> greg: the dems are a cult says rose. need two activists and found her, actress rose mcgowan who grew up in the children of god

cult said on fox news last may that she believes democrats are in a cult too. >> i leave the republicans alone because i do respect people more than her like, this is what we are. this is what we're about. this is what we're against. whereas i find the democrats are really pretty much almost against all the same things. they are against changing the world for the better and they are for keeping a system in place that is for so few people in benefit so few that they masquerade as helpers. >> greg: she says she sees democrats serving a master that may not be serving them. what's her advice for people? >> your personal freedom comes at the price of you realizing how your being controlled and where it's coming from.

i would make a list. your belief system. figure out what your belief system, what part of it is organic to you and what part has been implanted either by hollywood or the media or your leaders. what part of it is truly yours? what's organic to you. see what is the polyester and pulling out your fabric. >> greg: we check in with a former cnn viewer who has been pulling a lot of stuff out of his fabric. >> [indistinct] >> greg: this is america. we want videos that are in english. i didn't understand a word. >> jesse: i like the angry white man better. that's not what i meant. >> greg: rob, this goes to your point. there's another independent thinker being expunged from the democrats. they have nowhere to go.

they end up -- there's going to be a new place for people to go. i don't know where will be. >> jesse: it's called fox. we are going to hire her. >> greg: gave her an hour. >> jesse: give her this hour. >> greg: up next, gutfeld and mccowan. >> kat: so i'm just fired. >> jesse: will keep you around. >> rob: gutfeld is off tonight. it will be like that for a week. he's on assignment. >> jesse: assignment at the yogurt store. i counsel caution. sometimes someone says something and you agree with that person but it doesn't mean the next thing that person might say would not be insane. i have a feeling there is some insane stuff. someone goes yeah, we ought to

cut capital gains. we ought to make income tax lower. shrink government. yeah, yeah. we ought to get in a spaceship. simmer down. it's nice that somebody said that. she's probably right. but let's take a minute. >> kat: it's why it's more important to evaluate issues on a case-by-case basis rather than being in a situation where you have to idolize people. because they are in the same political party. honestly if you're saying i have a problem with this person, this person is dumb things i think are wrong. shut up, their leader on your side. you can't say that. it is a cult. >> kmele: taking a swipe at partisanship more broadly. what she had to say about republicans, leave them alone because they tell me what they're about. doesn't sound like a compliment. someone who is skeptical of most of the two major political parties. some of those vibes resonate with me but i also have the same

sort of skepticism. shades of kanye. people got enthusiastic when kanye seems to be gravitating towards their guy, donald trump. kanye also into a burning against him. i don't know that it made much of a difference. folks who have this change of heart, i don't know they're going to be reliable political allies. >> rob: i agree with you because i am an ally. >> kat: your life matters. >> rob: icu. i see you. >> jesse: i'm ready to vote for her for 2024. they are much more sophisticated than i am. i hear one thing that i agree with and i'm like yeah. let's go. i've been saying democrats have been a cult for years. no one no one does assignments on what i say. one democrat has an epiphany and she goes all over the news.

>> kat: articles. >> jesse: those are negative articles and fake news. >> rob: baby you want to develop a crazy stare that seems to be working. >> greg: decisions like dating marilyn manson. that counts, right? one more segment of awesomeness coming up. next. oh, it's an arm one?! your cousin. from boston. ♪ we're back baby! sam's on me! indoor beers! indoor beers! did i get the shot? nope. you saw the needle and passed out cold. here you go. continue to wear a mask. next. good luck guys! it's a breeze. cell phone repair. did you know liberty mutualuck guys!

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>> [screaming] >> my gosh, oh, my gosh. oh, my gosh! that's so awesome. >> greg: what she finds disgusting, jesse, he sees as awesome. a feral creature in their house. also more disgusting? >> kat: i get along quite well with feral creatures. >> jesse: i don't want to talk about this at all. i want to say i want to make an announcement that i will be making an announcement tomorrow on "the five." it's a personal announcement. >> kat: she's pregnant again! >> jesse: i i am straight, despite what people say in these articles. the announcement will be forthcoming. >> greg: even though the show is taped.

biden is addressing congress tomorrow so will be back on thursday night. [boos] set your dvr so you never miss an episode. thanks to everybody. "fox news @ night" is next. i'm greg gutfeld. i love you, america. ♪ ♪ >> shannon: welcome to "fox news @ night" in washington, i am kristin fisher in for shannon bream. president biden is touting new mask guidance from the cdc that allows vaccinated americans to go outside without the mask but questions linger over mixed messaging. the president shows up to announce these morel asked rules while wearing a mask outside. our panelist danny by. breaking