tv Gutfeld FOX News May 4, 2021 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT
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that's why i'm asking people to follow the cdc guidance. >> that .gov them has always been tricky for me as well. go, greg. >> fox news trying to launch a late night comedy show, trying to compete. how are they doing? >> the gutfeld! show is what i expected. it's not about comedy or satire. it's about revenge. the idea is to tell jokes that get people riled up. the idea is for them to say, yes, that will show them. >> so why wouldn't he defends me considering i gave him his start in cable news? >> i like to play a little game where i just stay in my apartment and i don't pick up
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the phone. have you ever thought about doing that? >> no one phase rent. the landlord came after seven years to evict him. i want a landlord that won't evict me for seven years. >> with harry, he's like a little adorable hamster. [applause] too bad the oscars were last week because the cia could have gone home with more gold than william -- have you seen their latest recruitment video. it's a gut-wrenching portrayal of one woman's triumph over bigotry. >> i'm a woman of color. i am a mom. a sixth generational millennial who has been diagnosed with
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anxiety disorder. i'm not a box checking exercise. >> wait, didn't she just check every box. by the way, who actually says i'm intersectional. besides my couch. [laughter] >> here's more. >> i used to struggle with impostor syndrome but at 36 i refuse to internalize misguided patriarchal ideas of what a woman can or should be. i am unapologetically me. i want you to be you, whoever you are. >> just what we wanted in a secret agent. one who blows their cover five seconds after meeting you. they replaced cia with tmi. talk about oversharing. aren't spies supposed to have a secret identity. forget name, rank and serial number. yes, my name is susan thomas. i'm an art dealer traveling
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abroad but really i'm a -- several things -- who is in the country country. oops, i should have left that part out and now i have to kill you. >> the whole point of being the cia is not being true to our identity, whether you're latinx or scottish especially if you're scottish. the bagpipes are a dead giveaway. i say get over yourself or yourselves. sadly, wokeness is now how we do business and even the cia is in on it. man, was i dumb. i thought that had an expiration date once you graduated, like listening to kat stevens. the understanding was that this stuff was worthless once you left college but i was wrong. they are drowning us with their box checking vernacular. could you imagine being interrogated by a new age agent. talk about torture. we saw you purchase the ingredients for the pipe bombs. you were obviously asking out against the colonizing trying to
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keep from you being your best as a result of your unique experiences as a survivor of your chronic bed wedding. you will confess to anything to stop them from droning on about themselves. yes, i had a bomb in my shoe. please stop forcing me to list my favorite role models of color. it's like shooting down a barrel. this video is not exactly top secret and this woman is serving our country so good for you. but every blinking yahoo on this planet consider how america's intelligence agency actually is. even twitter laughs but not the cia. these videos came out of multiple meetings and strategy sessions. the fact that they put this out there is a hewitt blind spot. it's like your dad getting an earring for his 50th birthday. maybe this video might even get people to join the cia but me, this level of malarkey couldn't get me to join an or just but maybe that's the point.
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one more nonbinary intersectional tightening means one less angry white male like me on staff. white angry white male. >> how i would describe myself? >> a regular guy, i guess. >> i like sports. i guess i like my job. love my family. what's this for, the news? >> i hate the news. [applause] >> you've got to wonder what the world thinks of. this our enemies are giggling like don lemon on a bike. just the image i find humorous. the fact is we have foreign enemies who dream of nothing more than killing each one of us every day and i doubt that oprah winfrey talking points about gender and race would scare them. have you ever wondered what a
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politically correct secret agent might look like? we already did. >> like you've never seen him before. >> are you hungry? i'll have an extra one. >> violence is so uncivilized. >> it's the same james bond you know and love rewritten to please teen most progressive socially conscious moviegoer in 2018. >> let me guess. shaken, monster. >> latte, soy, latte. >> are the beans sustainably sourced? i only drink organic home grown coffee. >> i have no idea. [james bond music] your move 007.
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>> seriously, i don't know how to play this game. >> marginalize disenfran geesed community reinforced by a bigoted and corrupt system. >> you're bluffing. >> seduction. ♪ i've had a very lovely evening. >> you know, i don't appreciate the assumptions in your proposition. if anti-feminist rhetoric -- i can't contribute to. >> get ready for the most politically correct secret agent of all time. no guns. no gambling. no girls. it's james bond. ♪
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he must be cute. >> lgbt cute. >> if you choose to accept it, it's a reject virtue signaling of all kinds. good luck. this segment will self-destruct in five seconds. >> let's welcome tonight's guest. she chairs the senate subcommittee, tennessee senator martha blackburn. >> she went from pom-poms to truth bombs. co-host -- [inaudible] >> three days into her first marriage. knocks news contributor kat. [applause] >> all right. senator, how -- what did you think when you first heard that video? it's the language that drives me crazy. i like the fact that she's
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serving the country but it's the cia. it's touchy feely. >> the cia should be object recruiting the best and brightest that they are, about protecting this country, about stopping bad actors, bad people, bad things from happening, and here we are, putting the focus on someone that has impostor syndrome and it's completely inappropriate. >> you know what's interesting about that when you say impostor syndrome nobody knows what that is but kat. >> it's how i'm a national super star and a treasure but i don't know it. >> everybody has impostor syndrome. you think people are going to find out that you're actually not good at what you do. >> i am worried about that even though it's unparalleled what i do. look, i just think that this and the reaction, all of it proves
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how broken and how the democratic party and the left in general, it's not just that they are obsessed with wokeness, it's not shocking to see a conservative -- it's pretty ridiculous. but on the left, hey, you know, cia is not woke with their decades of hyper militarization and all of these things. these are things that liberals are not supposed to like. she made a nice little word salad of all thesize buzz words that everyone is supposed to say. boom, that's enough. just like the vice president, they nominated a corrupt cop because she had the identity politics. that's all that matters. it's crazy. >> corporations are realizing if you use the woke vernacular they will overlook everything, including not paying your taxes. >> yes. >> or making ice cream that will give you heart disease in 10 years. trussen trudeau, black faced multiple times. if you use the like -- make the
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right buzz word sound, you're fine. >> emily, good to see you. that's all. >> so this is part of, i think, a series called humans of the cia, which, by the way, title is pretty funny. we know they are humans in the cia but it's like they were trying too hard to appeal -- again, it's like your dad getting an earring. so the cia is trying too hard. >> absolutely. and they are the last agency that needs to try at all. the other thing, like we all know what goes on behind those closed doors. we've all soon it in the movies. we know it all and that's why that video you made is so funny because i just kept thinking to myself, jason or 007 would never make a video like that and you did and it pulls back the curtain of what farce this is. when you bring politics into the
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workplace of course they are going to bring it with them so it's going to become a monster you can't kill so agencies like the cia, we need to be plug and play. code before self. we need to understand if an agent can't make it or doesn't show up another one will perfectly replace them and the same standard, not to a different standard because i just want to raise my hand and talk about my differences and recruiting based on those differences over the similarities and the code is a disaster and it's dangerous and i also beyond understand why we're advertising to our enemies, like the cia is staffed with anxious individuals. >> although i would make great cia agent because i'm anxious all the time, and i am constantly thinking people are out to get me. here's the thing -- don't look at me like that, you look like you're waiting for something horrible to happen. okay. you are. why does the cia need a recruitment video when everybody loves -- like when i met baker, he's in the cia, it's like the
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coolest job ever. do you really need recruitment videos to get people to join the cia? >> that's a great title. i'm still stuck on impostor syndrome. i don't get it. you're saying you struggle from lying about yourself a lot? is that -- like you're really deep down a pirate but you're just doing the cia thing until the ship comes in? >> you don't -- >> i'm worried that i'm not brilliant and beautiful. >> that's not what i meant. the bigger -- the bigger problem in this that i noticed, and i've only watched it three or four times because i wasn't sure what i was watching, i was waiting for you to walk out and be like gotcha. but i didn't hear anything about america in that entire thing or serving your country, or don't worry, 3:00 a.m., i'm on the job. we know you can't because of the impostor syndrome and the anxiety. you don't like dark, quiet places so you can't do it. this was like the me.
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we're not about country. we're about me, and this is the one business where you cannot be singled out and recognized and given participation trophies for being in the cia. you're supposed to be america first. duty to country, and honestly, yourself is second. >> you know what's interesting, i think that's probably the concern, besides just the language to me is so strange because it's not original. the language is being passed along through academia and everybody picks up on it but it's the triumph ever of the me over the we. >> wow! >> i just came up with that. >> i'll put it up there for you. >> set shot. >> that's unnecessary. coming up, the anti-cop racist rant you don't want to miss. ♪ yum yum yum yum yum yum yum ♪ ♪ yum yum yum yum yum yum ♪ ♪ yum yum yum yum yuuum yum yum yum yum yum yum yuuum ♪
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>> greg: would you take a class from an anti-cop ass? a woman claiming to be a teacher unleashed a tirade on a deputy. >> why are you harassing me? >> i pulled you over because -- >> because you're a murderer. >> you can't be on your cell phone while you're driving. >> you made me think you were going to murder me. >> i'm sorry you feel that way. >> it's not just a feeling, you're murderer. i'm perfectly legal and i'm a teacher, so there. >> congratulations. >> you're a murderer. >> what's that, hold that still for me? >> okay. murderer. >> greg: she's a teacher, i wonder what subject she teaches like how to ask to speak to the
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manager? imagine getting dinner. she probably sent back the appetizer before even ordering it. it gets worse. >> -- citing you for using your cell phone -- >> for hill being a mexican racist. >> it's on the citation man. >> here you go, mexican racist. you're always going to be a mexican. you'll never be white, you know that, right? >> god, something tells me this woman has had to press one for english just once too often. [laughter] >> greg: nothing gets you out of a traffic ticket faster than some bonus racism. think of all the times they just try to show some cleavage. meanwhile, a professor who called police heroes -- is on leave. >> i think they are heroes. >> all of them? >> i mean, i would say a good majority of them, you have bad people in every business, in
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every part. >> a lot of police officers have committed atrocious crimes and have gotten away with it and have never been convicted of any of it. >> when one has a knife or a gun -- >> i wouldn't call the cop. >> who would you call? >> i don't trust them. >> time to go. >> you have to go. >>. >> greg: so trouble with a knife or gun, sound like a job for a social worker. a growing number of professors and students across the country have pledged support to the cops off-campus coalition, an organization aimed at removing all police from campus. they are demanding zero police presence on may 25 which sounds like a pretty good day to steal a professor's vespa but without campus police where would they report their hate crime hoaxes. the officer suspended for mocking lebron james has
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skyrocketed, nearly a buck for every time lebron fakes getting fouled. that's funny because i don't know what i just said. i know nothing about that. that was written for me because i'm stupid on sports. emily, that cop was a saint, right? >> yes. yes. we know -- this is what's so insane to me that these cops endure this irelenting verbal abuse. that was a nauseating encounter and yet through it all we expect them to not only exercise restraint but have that delight decorum and they are getting ambushed and killed and we wonder why death by suicide is twice as much as dying in the line of fire. they are being subjected to incredible assault at all levels and that trend is horrifying and yet the left seems to celebrate it. i find it sickening and what is additionally, maybe even more devastating, is the fact they are not getting any public
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support whatsoever by the democratically elected officials. they are not getting anyone that's stating public messages of support, so they know someone else has their back. these ge guys are being isolate and it's really troubling. >> greg: this current climate of anti-police sentiment is like energizing people even more to openly crap on cops. she thought she was going to get famous, like, i'm going to record this cop while he's doing absolutely nothing but just being polite but she feels like this is the right time to do it. >> and this is one of the reasons, people wanting to stand up and support police. like the go fund me that's just taken off. this is the american people voting with their dollar to say, we stand with our cops. of course, there is going to be every once in a while someone who is not within the code of
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conduct but by and large the overwhelming majority, and god bless these men and women, every single day, for the jobs they are doing, and for who they have to endure as those do those jobs. >> he didn't use any intersectional language but he was awesome. people forget, that they have to put up with idiots every day, and that was a true idiot. >> you know, i think even harder for him is that, i'm pretty sure she was hispanic, too, and, i said it before, racism is not just for whites anymore. she was calling him an uncle tom in mexican is the word she was looking for but this trends of making it fashionable to resist arrest, or to struggle with police officers, leads down a road that ends up bad for a lot of people. she's not rosa parks in that moment. and she's borderline criminal
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and she couldn't accept the consequences and this is the last individual that should be teaching children anything. just based off her comments and her lack of education that when she was frustrated and she got caught on the phone, the only thing she could do was call names and make racist comments. that's in our classroom. that's teaching our kids to problem solve? the same thing with the other professor. this is who is educating our kids? they are setting the precedence. she got away with it. she probably could have stood on him, and gotten away with it. but that cop, the bad cop that everybody talks about, you pull that with him, it's not going to end that way so why put yourself in that situation? for the one out of every 200 cops that are not going to take that, why would you incite that? and why would you polarize -- no one should applaud her. be ashamed of her. >> greg: kat, i have a feeling
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she's going to become the victim. she tried to film it and then she got film and she's going to say, now i'm getting death threats. she was calling him murderer, that's my prediction. >> it's totally normal, to just call that person a murderer. the same thing i do when i go out to eat and they are out of clam chowder. >> you murderer. it's awful, and there really are real thanks need to be done, criminal justice reform. nobody with half a brain would think there is going to be no law enforcement agency. there are going to be laws. you have to have law enforcement and the more ridiculous this gets, further we get away from actually making the changes that need to be made, we need police, a law enforcement, i'm in the process of getting murdered. i'm definitely calling the cops before i call the therapist. the therapist is for later. >> greg: especially if the therapist is trying to kill you. >> all sessions are on zoom now.
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and when you get a big deal... you feel like a big deal. ♪♪ priceline. every trip is a big deal. >> greg: you now may kiss the bride before being locked up inside. it's been banned standing and dancing at weddings. all plus ones must be naked. many couples are stram bling to move their weddings outside with just a few weeks notice. it's another effort to reduce the covid spread because when people hit the dance floor their behavior changes. it's true, i once caught salmonella from the chicken dance. sorry. we're not the only country missing out on good times. i love the chicken dance. germany has canceled octoberfest
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for the second straight year even though it's several months away. officials say covid numbers are just too high and german hospitals are struggling and health is priority number one at a festival des indicated to boos and smoked meat. you've got to feel for the people of munich. we caught up with an octoberfest bartender to see how they are holding up. >> i'm certainly disappointed that octoberfest has been canceled once again. but on the bright side this gives me a chance to catch up on my favorite american show gutfeld!. he's been quite famous in germany since the 1980s when he made those erotic films. many enjoyed the dwarf. anyone who has seen it knows why greg's abs are known throughout bavaria. >> greg: those were the days. kat, obviously, you are now a married person. are you glad that you were married here and you could
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dance? >> yes, although in new york, you're supposed to have dance zones where it's -- i'll not kidding, where it's only people from a household can dance in one area, apart, six feet apart from other dance zones which obviously my official answer, is what we did but the real answer is, who would do that? who would ever do that? no one would do this either? no dancing or standing or no being near anyone outside your house unless you sit there with a mask on for several hours sitting next to only the people you've been locked inside with for over a year. no one would do that. there are ways to do things responsibly. i had a very, very small wedding. everyone was vaccinated except for a handful of people who got multiple tests. there are ways to do this and making the rules this ridiculous, no one is going to follow them, that's not guidance. nobody is going to do this. >> greg: it's very important to
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shade your dance zone. >> i'm just doing my own. but i love these rules. these are great rules because now i have more outs not to go to weddings. i would go but there is no dancing. i'm not -- i'm throwing stuff around. not you, it's me. sorry. >> come to tennessee. we'll let you dance in the street at your wedding. >> we're open for business. >> but i'm suffering from impostor syndrome. i'm not really a dancing. i just said that to get out of the wedding, and you completely ruined my attempt to get out of weddings. [laughter] >> thank you, senator. >> you're welcome, any time. >> greg: it's true. tennessee, things are back to normal and have been back to normal for quite some time. your rates are not anything worse. >> no. no. we're in great shape. and we're moving past this.
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people in tennessee have said, we want to get back to normal. people back to work. kids back in school. and, of course, you know, go to church. go down on broadway. go dance. that's fine. >> greg: can you call the owner of this company and convince them to move fox to nashville? >> might as well. everybody else is moving. >> greg: do you want me to call uncle murdoch? >> come on. >> we don't need new york anymore. we don't. sorry everybody. okay. >> you might get tennessee impostor syndrome. >> that's true. that's true. >> emily, what do you want to talk about? octoberfest or the wedding? >> i'm talk about the wedding. there is something that translates into, i will dance at your wedding. it means that you will because you celebrate. you don't attend a wedding and not dance because that's the way you celebrate and really contribute to that joy and that union.
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so i can't imagine a wedding without dancing. it's like a wedding -- or standing. exactly. the whole thing is ridiculous. i feel bad for any of the businesses that, of course, will now have their support wiped away as everyone just flees across the board foot loose style because we can't stand here. i'll just drive 25 miles and stand and drink and dance here. >> greg: we turned -- america has turned into the movie "foot loose." why is it the pandemic is getting rid of things we don't like, like baby showers? still to come, one way to clean up. bill and melinda gates without a pre-nup. the things, you say ♪ ♪ you're unbelievable ♪ ♪ ♪ applebee's irresist-a-bowls are back. dig in for just $8.99. some days, you just don't have it.
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starting at $99 per month. i don't just play someone brainy on tv - i'm an actual neuroscientist. and i love the science behind neuriva plus. unlike ordinary memory supplements, neuriva plus fuels six key indicators of brain performance. more brain performance? yes, please! neuriva. think bigger. >> greg: was this internet explorer starting to bore her? bill and melinda gates are getting a divorce after 27 years of major and court documents reveal that the pair whose
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fortune is ximted at well over a billion dollars, did not have a pre-nup. his wife melinda was the one to file calling the marriage irretrievably broken. maybe they should have gotten the extended warranty. in a statement the couple said we'll continue to work together at the foundation but we no longer believe we can grow together as a couple, in this next phase of our lives. in a netflix documentary that came out two years ago bill explained that he took the decision to get married very seriously. >> we cared a lot for each other. there were only two possibilities. either we were going to break up or we were going to get married. >> i knew i would move on. he had to make a decision, and -- the pros and cons of getting married. >> it was so over when they were
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doing this documentary. that was like -- she never -- anyway, bill and melinda said they tried everything they could to make the marriage work, including turning it off and turning it on again. so this whole pre-nup thing is an interesting problem because it's hard to broach before you get married, and afternoon you get married and things go south what do you do? a hundred billion? >> i just feel that when you're in the hundred billion zone, she takes half. you're okay. seriously. seriously. [ bleep ] dude. for the rest of us, we had to make it their idea. fellows, pay attention. she's not watching tonight. you have to convince them that they are more successful than you will ever be. you have to constantly bring up the time you got fired from the
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wwe or released from the cow -- you have to bring up your failures a lot. and then one day while you're eating dinner, we're going to get married, she'll be like -- i was thinking -- yes, if i kept mine and you kept yours. if you think -- if that's what you want, i happen to have one right here. but it has to be her idea. so i've heard. >> greg: senator, he's very romantic as you can tell. what's your take on this whole scenario? it's a big story because of the amount of money involved, i guess. >> any time there is a divorce, it's sad. and for a couple that's very visible, a couple that's worked in their foundation, i think that this is a turn of events for them.
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i wish each of them well. always reconciliation is the best course, but that's not the course that they have chosen, so it's sad. >> greg: when a door closes what opens? windows. >> don't encourage me. >> thank you. emily, you know, you should be a psychic. >> come sit here. >> greg: how soon before gates is on tender? >> oh, gosh. >> i can't see that. graovac i grew didn't say grinder. >> they signed the warren buffet gideon pledge about 10 years ago so they are giving away the majority of their wealth to philanthropy and everything by the time they are dead anyway's, and i also think the interesting thing, in the philanthropic
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world the freakout wasn't, oh, my gosh what is it going to look like but how it was going to affect the foundation which has a $50 billion endowment, and everyone was worried that all of those lives they impact positively would somehow be negatively impacted which is why we're not going anywhere in that regard, but i think it's been predicted, and i agree, that she, melinda, is going to become, like more liberal and put her money where her mouth is in terms of more liberal causes, and what if she runs for office? >> greg: kat, you got married three days ago. >> yes. >> greg: is this hitting you hard because you could have had a chance with bill gates if you had waited? >> yes, yes, i truly messed up. no. look, i just don't get how pre-nup would work. i've been a wife for three days so keep in mind i'm an expert on this. i just think, you know, when you do the thing, like this, we say, i do. but like if you have a pre-nup
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you're not saying i do. i do, but if i don't -- >> greg: kind of. >> it's not the same. then you're not saying i do. you're saying i do but maybe it won't, so sign this and i keep my [ bleep ] that's not romantic to me. >> greg: exactly. i feel the same way. up next, they are grinding beans for drama queens. [applause] [sfx: psst psst] allergies don't have to be scary. spraying flonase daily stops your body from overreacting to allergens all season long. psst! psst! all good
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california's choice beauty? pretty boy. or a beast? john cox grew up with nothing; made himself a remarkable success. california's falling off a cliff. high taxes, unaffordable costs! even elon musk left! gavin's mismanagement of california is inexcusable. we need big beastly changes in sacramento. i'll make 'em. recall the beauty.
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>> greg: its -- was full of crappy. starbucks employees are online venting, i don't even know why i'm reading this. their frustration at customers who demand absurdly complicated beverages. a barista showed a 13 ingredient monday -- giant. call it a special ed, contained extra cream, banana, caramel punch, complete lack of self-awareness. they should give him a cup of shut the f up. hope any they added a smack to
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the back of his head. fussy temperature requirements and double digit extras to secret off menu items approved by the illuminati. >> does posting these images violate the barista patient confidentiality? >> not that i'm aware of. it doesn't seen so. i think it's a good way for them to vent-i. >> get it? >> greg: second time is not the charm. >> i'm proud of myself. >> but i thought the funniest thing was when everyone was piling on and just eviscerating everyone who does this on a daily basis. this is a tik tok challenge. a woman said it needs to be 36
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degrees celsius, not 37, not 38. >> it's like having cake for breakfast. that's immoral. amazing. >> eat dessert first. that's how to start your day. no. here's the thing. tik tok. i'm not a fan of tik tok. and when you get out there and you are going in, intentionally, to see if you can get someone frustrated, you can get the video, you can put it up, you can have your moment, then you have to say what is the true purpose of this? and it is to make the baristas uncomfortable and to see if they are going to mess up with building this drink. >> greg: i had no idea. interesting. now i'm totally against it. >> they are not suffering from impostor syndrome. they are a real barista. they can handle this. >> greg: right. >> it is just gross. aside from the fact that you're creating a major inconvenience
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for another person, all that you get in return is the reward of them like barfing for the rest of the day. i read this order. it had carmel drizzle, extra whip cream, extra topping, seven pumps of dark caramel syrup. extra carmel crunch, heavy cream, who could survive that? that's -- >> greg: you said frap. >> it's not coffee. if anything it's like self-harm. you're not going to feel good. >> greg: tyrus, is this the official beverage of white privilege? >> no, it's the official beverage of fat privilege. you know what they do, what starbucks does to me a lot of times, we don't have it. i'm a drive through guy but literally they know my order every time i pull up. they can spit it out.
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irish cold brew, extra shot. that's how quick i am. you get in, you get out. you don't fantasize -- like i said, just, wow, you know. after he gets that, he should just drive down to the clink and get -- to the clinic and get tested for type two diabetes. >> greg: i understand the salad thing. >> he probably doesn't tip either. >> greg: now i'm thinking this is just a prank that they put on people. that's all it is. this is just something to make the baristas life hell which makes me very angry because these are hard workers. >> murderer. >> murderers. >> greg: they have impostor syndrome. all right. i'm done. stay with us. we'll be right back.
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>> greg: before we go, time for this. ♪ ♪ so i was doing something i almost never do which is watch morning show on msnbc, joe scarborough doesn't seem like they are getting along these days. take a look. it was such an ugly, ugly feet. he seems very, very, very angry. i don't know. and it was weird, subtitled in russian might think. look at that. very overprotective this little guy. look at that. oh, my goodness. [laughter] it sounds like we need an exorcism kemal wright set your dvr every night so you never miss an episode.
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senator marsha blackburn, tyrus, our studio tonight, on "gutfeld!." i love you. ♪ ♪ >> shannon: hello and welcome to "fox news @ night." i'm shannon bream in washington. breaking tonight, president biden setting a new vaccination goal for america. 160 million people inoculated by the fourth of july. the critics say that number would actually represent a slow down. the president setting himself up to low expectations. we have a live report with the latest guidance and growing
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