miss the angle. greg gutfeld takes it all from here. have a great weekend. >> donald trump brought the cold toilet into the rnc, into the party, and everyone thinks it's a pool. that's just diving in. >> here's the thing, i mean, they are typing and, and the toilet is full. it's full. >> greg: ironic, ratings are in the. ♪ ♪

[cheers and applause] >> greg: as we turn a corner on covid, what new crisis is the media consumed with? shark attacks? alien invasions? invasions? see and then cnn's disastrous ratings which are now officially lower than the odds that cats marriage lasts a month. [laughs] "the new york times" dives headfirst into the evils of bathing. yes, bathing. covid has shown that bathing daily is not only not unnecessary, it's evil. the pigpen is finally vindicated. i'm old. no wonder the media adores antifa, the filthy scum. it it seems bathing harms the planet.

they could've said that bathing is racist, because most bars of soap are white. it's called ivory, not ebony. that is racist. we will be right back. the article starts by offering anecdotal evidence that the pandemic is causing people to be a plus the proof, parents planing about their smelly teenage kids. talk about hard-hitting data. by that logic, the pandemic also cause acne and terrible taste in music. by the way, teenagers are like cheese. they are supposed to smell, so i've been told. thank you. then the british survey, 70% of rates have stopped bathing. one look at -- harry would tell you that it raises the question, how could you tell? was that before or after they stopped brushing her teeth? maybe they just want to be friends. anyway, like all lame stories, that's cool to you for being

normal, they relied on people in their own circle to interview. like heather, a writer. who would a writer for the times interview but another writer? god forbid they find a plumber or a stripper. or a plumber who strips. that's someone who appreciates a good shower. other claims for shower use has fallen off by 20%, and her ability to find a date, 80%. i hope they fact-check this by spelling her armpits. that does explain the other article about a declining birth rates. the science is settled, heather stinks. then the times goes on to explain that daily showers or new phenomenon growing out of the industrial age. perhaps like penicillin or indoor plumbing or missing fingers. a site yet another writer, what's with the writers? who is also an environmentalist. he bathes once a week, his talk

must have more rings than saturn. this is all good, since reducing the use of soap helps the environment as opposed to his underwear which is probably funkier than rick james. he explains how he would wash at the sink under our armpits and her privates. in his 60s, which leaves me with quite a visual. last night i had a nightmare about wolf blitzer in front of a mirror using a toilet brush. the times built an article around a writer in interviewing other writers about how they've given up looking presentable. it did they ever plan to leave the house again? for our sake, let's hope they don't. that's one way to get us all wearing masks. the nickel just by telling us that a typical eight minute shower uses up to 17 gallons of water. is that supposed to be a lot? 1 gallon of almond milk or to slash whatever brian seltzer had for lunch.

[laughter] they also try to shame us for using soap because it's made of petroleum. at this is all coming from a newspaper, which is made of trees to produce each week's sunday paper alone, it's estimated that a half billion trees must be murdered, slowly cut down, dismembered, and turned into pulp by oil guzzling power tools. at the times has been doing that since 1851. if trees could talk, they would call the times hitler, and they would probably sound like john kerry. once again, the superior minds of the times tells us we are living selfishly. don't bathe, they say after screaming at us if we weren't constantly scrubbing up like were doing surgery. not a single editor writer complies with their own prescriptions. writing about is their sacrifice. it do as i write, not as i do. it's no wonder that while their editors claim not to take about, the people actually is. it's a lead is him without a

whiff of ironing, and that's why their dirty drawers aren't the other only things that stink. welcome to knight's guests, he so southern her horoscope sign is buttermilk. david mcdowell. he is the mayor of hands of the town, one. fox & friends weekend cohost. if laughter is contagious, he will make you double mask. comedian -- , and she is no longer. now that she's married, she will soon be buried. fox news contributor -- time to go to you first, you don't like to wash your hands, i've seen you near back there. >> today you saw me in the

bathroom. >> greg: you don't really know what to say when you see someone you know in the bathroom. you do have conversation? because of my reputation, i felt the need to clearly openly wash my hands in front of you. >> greg: if there's another weird side to you, you have the stench he candles in your office to cover up your own stench. >> maybe had been showering a little bit less than most people on a regular basis. it's the one you agree with this article? >> it's weird. your commentary about john kerry, that picture, he looks like the trees from the "lord of the rings." if you look close enough. you and you know how you figure out how old he is? yeah, anyway. >> i dominic are you in sync, birthrates would be up and showers would remain where they are. maybe it's because the birth rate is down is because people are showering last. how appealing is your nonshowering husband or wife who's like, i'm just phoning in

covid. >> greg: how many kids do you have? speak well tell you this, and they stink. one day of the kid not showering, two, then they take their shoes off and their socks off -- disgusting. >> greg: boys tennis shoes, it's like a landfill filled with used diapers. i've thrown them all in one shower. it's disgusting. that's why i don't have kids. i can't stand smelly offspring. if it were my own kids, i would hate them even more for their smell. because they let me down. >> you know, i think this is the liberal thing. i think this is a liberal thing. conservatives take showers. maybe, finally, these liberals can start to smell their own. listen, this is an excuse for them to not take a shower. they want to save the planet, save the water, and now they

don't have to use soap. we don't have to use animal products anymore. they want a final reason, these people haven't taken a shower before covid, this is nothing new at all. >> greg: also comments like -- it's really great for them because they don't really socialize with other people. you confessed yesterday that you stopped bathing. >> not stopped -- i paid less, and i actually on the weekends, if i'm not seeing anybody, i will not brush my teeth. the mask covers up halitosis. nobody knows. i mean, i'm alone. >> greg: you wear a mask alone? because the dogs don't care. they smell like dog food. i love the idea, i read this article in "the new york times," you're making a face. >> greg: i'm still thinking about you not brushing your teeth. >> i brushed my teeth before this show. i left my hairbrush, and i

didn't realize it until like 10 minutes before the show, i was like oh. i used my tooth brush to brush my hair. i had no choice. >> i read that article in the times, and i love the idea of a liberal trying to signal how virtuous they are with eye watering body odor. like, the stronger the stench, the more progressive you are. like so rank that you'd leave a vapor trail. it is >> greg: yes, you know what it is? you are the whiff of welcome. that is the whiff of woke. nobody remembers him. >> think about like -- a combination of smelling like fritos, wet dog, and like steamy feet.

what are you telling everyone else, you're a vegan? you work in an animal shelter, and i ride my bike everywhere? >> greg: if you have all of that odor, you are probably in antifa, the only group that will accept somebody who smells that bad. before you got married, you were filthy. she has cleaned up a little bit. i would walk to her office to talk about the latest thing she screwed up, i would have to walk over things i couldn't recognize. >> it's still like that. i prefer clutter to. actually, in the pandemic i was -- i have to admit i was not washing my hair, i was showering but not washing my hair. only was i going to be on camera what i wash my hair. all of the blogs are like, don't wash her hair every day, i was like okay blogs, i believe you. then the show became everyday, i started having to wash my hair. i know this because after i went one day, i was going to come to

work without washing my hair. i asked kam, can i get away with this, some dry shampoo? you know what he said? would you like me to tell you the truth? which means i looks like a disgusting grease ball and i did wash my hair, you are welcome. because going to say -- no, -- you guys look exactly like. it was just an honest mistake. >> the idea of bathing, is that still a thing? the idea of laying in your own scrub mist, do you wash and a bath? i think we've advanced from bathing. >> i think you -- >> you lay in the filth that you soaked off? the only people who do that are cowboys and westerns. to smoking a cigar, they've got

their foot up, and there's like hardwood floors. of >> i did that on sunday, but i had my -- >> greg: do you have a spittoon in your bathroom? >> no, maybe i will take that up. >> there was another article in the times that we didn't get to, an editor, a times editor suggested marking the end of a pandemic by everybody in america getting one week off. in order for her to get the week off and everybody at the times -- restaurants would have to close, bus drivers, stores, because nobody can work. i'm thinking, only a writer can pretend to go off the grid so people who haven't worked for year -- >> i would like to take a honeymoon -- you can only go camping. i'd be down for camping. you know, and denver realized growing up, cheap vacation. whenever i bring it up to kim, he's like, why would i do that? i got paid to go camping.

i had to thank him for his service in the conversation is over. >> greg: you put the cam in camping. camping. up next, the plane isn't [sfx: kids laughing] [sfx: bikes passing] [sfx: fire truck siren] onstar, we see them. okay. mother and child in vehicle. mother is unable to exit the vehicle. injuries are unknown. thank you, onstar. ♪ my son, is he okay? your son's fine. thank you. there was something in the road... it's okay. you're safe now.

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you need a breath mint. xfinity. it's a way better way to watch. >> greg: according to the faa or -- the number of airline passengers ignoring covid protocols is rising faster than cats husbands therapy bills. incidents include customers not only refusing to wear masks, and even fighting crewmembers. when did airplanes become the bar from roadhouse? as of february 1st, wearing a mask on commercial flights became federal flight drama

club. anywhere from nine to $30,000 fine. that's more than i make in the day. and the number of people is still 40% slower than it was prepandemic. i have no patience for people who throw tantrums come i get the frustration. when people act like airborne idiots, the airlines cracked down on the rest of us. faa rules are arbitrary and constantly changing. to some airlines act like you're flying with a -- tribalists stressful enough without flight attendants going code red because their toddlers fussy or you pull down your mask to pop in a peanuts. if your flight attendant, remember we are all in in this together. if your joker might leave your emotional baggage where it belongs, at home. have you noticed this happening with you at all -- airline tussles?

>> i never wear a mask, this is how i do it. they say you don't have to wear one on the plane if you're eating. i grabbed my water, some peanuts, i cut all of my peanuts and half so i can have enough peanuts to eat for the entire flight. i eat one peanut every 14 minutes, and as soon as the fight is over, i'm full of peanuts, my tummy is hurting, i've got to take some pepto -- listen, had my mask of the whole entire time. i don't have to deal with it. it's ridiculous, i see them taking them off babies. >> greg: i'm actually for it. babies are awful. honestly, who cares about babies anyway? >> they don't allow basing but they do allow babies? be when you have seven kids under ten and a wife. when you fly, that comes to a total of nine people.

you have a greater odd of creating a problem of anybody on the flight to. >> you know what people's faces look like when we walked down the aisle? >> greg: they think you're the occult of little people. all these little masks. anyway, has anybody bothered you? >> no. i instill a lot of fear and the kids to behave. if it comes down to the position of flight attendants. there's so many wonderful flight attendants that look at you and say, i get what you are dealing with. i'm going to show you some grace, stay on your kids a little bit and do me a favor. it's when the [bleep] individuals or flight attendant or crew member who is looking for the gig, looking for the one little down. do you keep lots of food in front of them, that's easy. as much as i hated, i've had to fly a ton in the last year -- it's the rule at this point.

if you don't want to wear a mask, don't go on a flight. i don't like it, i don't agree with that, it is what it is. i also bring a hat, a gallic this, i pull my mask down and a breathe >> greg: that allows your nose to be free. >> your good. >> greg: that's right, you do fox and friends. >> every once in a while. >> greg: that must cost a lot to fly with nine people. >> it's two rows. it must be one that must wipe out your savings every trip. >> you can afford it, i can't. see when i went to pick at your libertarian sensibilities here. i feel like the problem with mask reinforcement is it creates another failure bullet that allows for conflict like selling cigarettes. no one wants to get a fight over a mask, but were creating another opportunity to create

tragedy. >> i agree, it's also been irresponsible in terms of the way the narrative has been framed this whole time. there's this narrative there are two groups of people, the responsible people who are vaccinated but still going to wear to masks, even outside. then there's the psycho rednecks who would never get vaccinated, they go on a plane and they're told to wear a mask, they're going to throw a suitcase at your place in honor of donald trump. there are plenty of reasonable people out there, many of us who are vaccinated, some of us precisely because we are vaccinated are quite frankly beyond sick of this [bleep]. during a suitcase at someone's head is psycho, but also demanding that people wear a mask when they are outside at a baseball game and eight section four vaccinated people or they get thrown out, that's psycho, too. i will take the suitcase throwing psycho over the authoritarian psycho any day of the week. if they are more fun.

risky, but fun. is the one especially when the suitcase is filled with vaccines. i don't know, how do you feel about this? >> since i am a redneck psycho -- [applause] people have forgotten how to behave in [bleep] public. they've been locked down the whole time, and they get on airplanes, put the mask on. period. listen, if i can control myself even in -- on an airplane before the mask mandate -- anybody can. i go from defcon 5 to devcon 1, and i've never been arrested. despite copious amounts of alcohol when on a plane -- i mean, i want to go off on somebody before the pandemic for

taking a flip flop off and shoving his hairy toes between the seat, putting his feet up. you know, he looked down and do you see some hair covered toes. that's enough, that's enough for me to take out four or five rows. >> greg: if you're sitting like this in your chair, and you like this and there's a foot that comes up over here, it's like you should be able to grab it and then any kind of sharp object, clip of one of those -- no one would charge you. of course that person should lose a toe. you could throw the tote -- everyone could throw the total rounds, we celebrate.

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>> greg: they've decided to his over snow white's case. at disneyland, wherever that is

has revamped its snow white writing. the san francisco gate isn't thrilled to get it in an editorial, the famous case is considered problematic to them. snow white is poisoned by the evil queen, true love's first case breaks the spell. then she's eaten by dwarves. that's in my version. the dwarves always prevail. i insert dwarves into everything. to try it with every book or story, insert the dwarves. it makes everything better. including the godfather, totally changed the ending. the problem -- katie dowd and julie tremaine, is that the kisses without her consent. while she's asleep, she can put in, cannot possibly be true love if only one person knows it's happening. it's hard to understand why the

disneyland of 2021 would choose to add a scene with such old-fashioned ideas of what a man is allowed to do to a woman. i double byline, as we call it. consent issues aside, it still a very realistic story. you know, from the days when traveling royalty would kiss unconscious women in the class coffins while surrounded by a bunch of diamond mining dwarves. that should be taken as literally as the talking mouse for your rich duck uncle who doesn't wear pants. i never liked that dock. it kind of perverted. i know your hot on the story, what are your feelings about this? what do you think? >> obviously, that's a problem, he shouldn't do that. snow white is kind of an idiot, right? just don't move into some random dirty bachelor pad with seven dudes he met in the woods.

and like -- they are only letting you stay there because you clean the house for them first. if i would've watched this growing up, i would've thought there would be no hope for a slob like me to find a husband at the ripe young age of 32 and half. i would watch these movies going up and i would say, wouldn't be prince and princess, the dash what does she want to do? i wasn't a gender studies professor, it was a 4-year-old. i was able to look at this and be like, this doesn't seem like real life and we would have those conversations. these stereotypes come from somewhere, i think it's better to talk about them with kids. if i am four, and i realize it's not real then probably other 4-year-olds can do it. >> greg: i always thought you didn't like the doors because they were short. that's what this is about. this is about lookism. snow white was just attractive,

right? this is what it's about. they are coming after her for that. >> why is the evil queen evil? she is given like fierce -- a bad rap. >> no angels moving in with seven dudes. >> exactly. is this really the worst that disney has? disney is a terrorist organization. i went to disney world when i was three, both my grandmothers took me. you know what? that giant rat looks 50 feet tall when you're three. he's got that weird creepy girlfriend, and then you're in cinderella's castle perpetuating the myth that you just need to wait around for some dreamboat like pete coming to rescue you for your frat life. i can come a huge setback for women for generations. >> greg: forget disneyland,

you should go to handsome town. a population, one. should they make snow white more woke? would that help? >> i thought she was -- anyway? why not snow black? i thought she was out of the door anyway. why are we defending her being kissed? i probably would've guessed her too. she's cute, look at her, look at snow white. this is ridiculous. i thought she was counseled already. >> greg: my suggestions, i came up with some. they should remake snow white, makes no way to a biological male who identifies as an intersectional female -- perhaps a member of blm or antifa and prince charming is actually a body positive trans activist who teaches drag performance to runaway teens in a local park.

again, he got 17, 18 kids. you probably know this story by heart. >> i do know the story by heart. doesn't prince charming save her life? >> did i miss a detail here? he saved my life! i don't know, if you are down and the only option was some random guy kissing you to save your life, i would say you'd be into that. it's because that's a tuesday afternoon for me. >> you know how often i use that line? because that's not true. because that's not true. >> don't

there's not enough hours to be all that i am. not enough hours to make this overworked mom, feel like superwoman. not enough hours to let this dream that used to breathe within me, find new life. just enough time to listen to that inner voice and believe...

maybe, there's more time on the other side of trying. maybe. there's not enough time. until there is. take classes any time of the day or night, at university of phoenix. >> greg: welcome back, let's find out if we got anything wrong so far this week. i always get deja vu when i do that. for that, we go to our shows own

bosman, steve jr. we went to college together, but we went our separate ways after graduation. it he's here to point out any mistakes we made. how do we do? >> that's the game we're playing, we went our separate ways? okay, whatever. that makes it easier for you to live with yourself, go ahead and live the lie. >> greg: do you want me to go there? >> i'm not the one with the show. i've got nothing to lose. don't -- don't put me in a corner. >> greg: i thought maybe we could get beyond this, and concentrate on the present. >> let's bring that up in session. let's talk about this week. this week, a mixed bag for you, frankly. and the accuracy department -- let's start monday, monday you seemed gender confused. i'm going to ask our talented director mike to roll that clip.

>> we should get rid of all gender, all sports should just have no gender. if you want to play pro sports, everybody jump on in and pick the best. >> let me see if i can boil this down for you. everything you said that there is totally wrong and destructive and indefensible. let me share some research which, frankly, is something that you should do before you appear on television, you know supported cable television, so the show participating in sports makes girls confident, have of all girls quit sports by the age of 17 according to an australian study. your idea here it would be to essentially eliminate girls sports and the pathway to self-esteem. i know that your experience with women is limited to those with severe self-esteem issues, but think about this -- you are now on the side of the nonbinary

gender fluid people. he, some men can get pregnant people. you want to explain that? what's going on? the one i'm going to tell you -- i should have been clearer, i want to eliminate all sports. i think that sports only benefits one person an entire town, everybody else is npc, we are all on playing characters. i was on a football team, i was on the third string you know why? we were there so the other strings could practice against us. we were practice dummies. that's why. that's why i hate sports. because this is been fantastic. i think you've done some -- i really applaud the work you've done here. the stuff we can bring up next time in session, it will be great. hold that feeling. >> greg: i'm holding it. >> i want you to come back to that place. you chimed in here -- first of all, congratulations on your wedding. honestly, i think you married the wrong guy.

tuesday, you are unclear about an important issue -- you want to run that? >> i just don't get how a prenup would work. i've been a wife for three days, keep in mind, i'm an expert on this. i'm just like -- you do the thing, you take this -- we say i do. if you have a prenup coming in not saying i do, i do but if i don't -- sign this. >> a look, what's done is done. a prenup is really just a document that both parties agree to that help them protect the wealth each brings to the marriage and accumulates throughout. that's probably less relevant for you since your currently on the "gutfeld!" show. let's be honest, not a terrific career move. according to renowned financial advisors whose ornament, you should always get a prenup. if you cannot talk money to the

person you are about to marry, you are doomed for failure, because money is going to run through your relationship more than anything else. keeping a separate checking account won't do it, divorced experts say because you keep your name on an account or finance it separate or even on the deed to the house, it doesn't mean it's yours. tell mike n/a divorce. >> my husband is in finance, and he went to boarding school growing up, so do the math that they are. and who is suze? whatever her faces, i would like her to stay out of my marriage. if she doesn't, she will pay. has she been talking to him? >> so much pain. ask yourself this, why did my financial expert fancy educated husband say any of this to me? what's his angle?

>> he hasn't been talking to sue's because he respects me. i am all you need. forever. speak of the real question here is, why didn't you marry me? i sent you letters, i sent you gifts. why did you hurt me like that? j.k., lol, just kidding. i wish you the best, i'm here. i'm here. >> on wednesday, you seemed baffled by recent events. >> i hear this a lot for my drivers. wearing a mask in a car and you are alone, you hyperventilate. you are breathing in your carbon

dioxide, you get dizzy, and i've heard anecdotally -- i'm not going to say it's a fact, maybe i will. it's causing an increase -- dramatic increase in car accidents. >> this is really weird for me because you're kind of half right, which -- i like to say half wrong, but a national highway traffic safety administration report found that the rate of traffic deaths per myles tate go up during covid. let's celebrate a win. not because of mask wearing. at least a b shows it was the near empty streets that resulted in faster driving, which in turn made to streets more deadly. a faster travel whether or not exceeding the speed limit increases the chance of mortality is. ask yourself this, why do you think that people in a car tend to hyperventilate so much?

what is it that you're doing in your car that causes you to hyperventilate and to breathe heavily? is this why your goober rating is so low you know what, don't answer. i don't answer. we will keep the show super upscale. let's move on. are you here? huge fan. just want to clarify, you said wearing a mask hides bad breath, but recently dentists have said is really force you to realize how bad your breath has always been for other people. you understand the difference? >> yeah, but i've got sunshine in my mouth, so there really is no problem. >> i get it. are you there pete? huge fan. do you do such great work on this network. i have no idea why you are doing the show, but i want to say you are right about that.

according to alpine.com, showers are much cleaner than baths, baths are more psychologically beneficial so the recommendation frankly is to take a shower, get super clean, and then sit in a warm bath, which means of course, twice the water use. it just by saying this, because that "new york times" reporters had to explode. >> the opposite of what i said, which is take a bath and then shower? >> precisely. >> greg: we've got to take a shower. >> dual greg pence, he takes a bath. the one i'm going to take a bath on your face. yes. maybe that might turn you on, we have to go, steve. great job. >> it's been a joy as always. i appreciate the time, and i appreciate just going down memory lane with you. >> greg: returned my tax, okay? we can work on this. >> one day at a time. time. >> greg: goodbye.

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>> greg: she won homecoming queen, now she's facing 16.

the teenager in florida, where most teens are located, helped her mother wouldn't tell mike rig an election will be charged as an adult even though she was just 17 at the time. just at 17, totally datable by leo dicaprio. emily rose grover's mother used her position as an assistant principal, to access the fraudulent votes for her daughter last year, students have reported that emily helped her mother do it. if there's ever been a crime you'd blame on an emily, this is it. she faces multiple felony charges and 16 years in prison. 16 years as a long time. to put that in perspective, if cat went away 16 years, she would be 50 when she gets out. were they too lenient? how do you set the example if

you don't throw the book at her? >> i don't know, i think 16 seems a little harsh considering what people are getting out of jail for and did not even arrested. his capital punishment on the table? >> never. look, i think it's very interesting, the valleys this mother instilled in her daughter. some moms would say, popularity isn't everything. it doesn't matter if it's only four years. at this mom said, absolutely not, i will not have you spend three months having people think you're not the most popular girl at school, we will risk prison for this. i think that emily is probably facing with her having her mother like that. the one do you think this is a fair punishment? >> she should've sold some shoes from footlocker or something if she didn't want to go to jail. just be one that's true. in california you can steal hundreds of dollars worth of

stuff, and they let you out. at this girl is going to go to prison for the rest of her life if she doesn't live very long. >> all to be homecoming queen, all to be on the homecoming court. people like -- and meek and blue and tackle you from the stands while you are standing over there, all you are so superior with your crown! >> greg: i sense some background there appeared >> homecoming is a trigger word for me. >> by the way, high school sucks. >> greg: it does. >> it's supposed to suck. >> greg: the whole concept of homecoming queen is why it sucks. it doesn't add -- it goes back to my sports analogy. all of this is to benefit one person, and we are all npc's, nonplaying characters.

>> in less you are the one

>> shannon: we are out of time. to set your dvr every week fox news at night with ivo welcome to "watters world" i'm jesse watters breaking tonight brand new information backing the lab league theory of covid-19. this as president biden hasn't even bothered to ask china about it. there could be a reason for that involving doctor anthony fauci and the scientific community may be covering it all up. why? for money -- nicholas wade investigative reporter who covered science for almost 30 years at the "new york

times" just wrote an article