tv Gutfeld FOX News May 12, 2021 8:00pm-9:01pm PDT
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look at this instagram account depicting two young women with anti-israeli propaganda. aren't they just fighting forever religion. they aren't fighting. the israelis are the oppressors and palestinians are the oppressed. a sobering mind to pay attention to what your kids see online. "the greg gutfeld show" next. >> chocolate or vanilla. >> vanilla is just sort of a disappointing chocolate. >> greg: wow! [cheers] >> greg: all right. joe biden may have discovered the secret to time travel. hear me out.
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we're currently seeing the middle east unravel faster than ilhan's marriage to her brother. we're seeing an surd -- an absurd gas shortage and high gas prices. we have a bumbling leaders who scares no one such someone who uses herbal essence shampoo. unemployment is rising as benefits keep flowing. crime is back and bloodier than ever. we're witnessing shootings and murders like never before. not exactly like never before. we have seen it before. in fact, we've seen it all before. it's called -- ♪ ♪ we'll be making another run ♪
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♪ the 17 -- the 70s ♪ ♪ don't leave home without a gun ♪ ♪ there is no gas ♪ ♪ inflation will leave you broke on your ass ♪ ♪ the 70s we're all going to hell the '70s ♪ ♪ the '70s ♪ [siren] [applause] >> greg: you don't have to clap. that was no jack jones. but it's true. we've gone back to the '70s, a 10-year span so awful we had to create the 1980s and 1990s to
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erase it. on the plus side, we might get another one of these. maybe we have. seriously. she is this generation's farrah fawcett or jacqueline smith. i can't make up my mind, but why should i? it's not like i'm stalking you, kaitlin, okay? you dm'd me first and then i figured i should start working my magic on you, and then she ghosts me and goes on hannity. you still date women, whatever. i felt like i was let on and it kind of hurts. just like the '70s. the crime, joblessness, the turmoil, an unstable world questioning america's resilience, and also, no coincidence, joe biden is in d.c. the fact is, we're learning a harsh lesson that progress, stability and success is just one liberal away from disaster.
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think about that. everything great about america can be unraveled by one leftist with some power and a vendetta against america and we have an administration crawling with them. take new york. rudy giuliani took a city with rampant crime and turned it into a number one tourist attraction. then bloomberg inherited it and didn't screw it up totally, and then this guy came along, a groundhog murdering idiot so clueless that he might actually be from another planet. i think they call it saturn. made up of parts from lesser idiots and it took only one card-carrying anti-carrying -- now gothic city. joe biden was so nostalgic when
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he had real hair that he took us back there in a matter of runs. it's a pattern. the attention span of fruit flies with iq's lower than cnn's ratings, live to see the progress made by republicans as wrong and therefore an opportunity to experiment. and we are their guinea pigs. our jobs, our healthcare, our education system and it's those experiments that lead to the devastation. it's a cycle. liberals like spoiled children ruin things which republicans like patient parents fix and that creates a false sense of security that allows liberals to return and ruin them again. i say we put them up for adoption so we can have nice things in the house again. i wonder what the angry white male thinks?
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♪ it's like the america i grew up in. urban decay. crime. inflation. gas lines. democrats. you make me feel young again. [applause] >> greg: can we time travel out of this mess? maybe if we didn't have so many options for entertainment. back in the 1970s we had three channels. we had almost no options for porn. unless you count the sexy indian girl on the land-o-lakes box. sometimes we went to the sears catalog with an eraser.
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no one understands that. we criminalize pot, keeps us ambivalent. the whole world outside could crumble but we're too happy binge watching. the question is, for how long? thank god i still have this. don't worry, i laminated it. [applause] >> welcome tonight's guests. he's so country, he thinks a seven course meal is a positive sum and a kissback. songwriter larry gatlin. when he tells a joke, the woke shall choke. podcast comedian -- stand up comic. who needs a booster seat. and she said till death do us part and now her husband is
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missing. fox news contributor kat. i'm excited. larry, i've got three questions for you. one, do you remember the '70s? two, do you remember jimmy carter, and three, do you remember doing coke in the white house? . >> i thought tonight was going to be a career move. i don't think it turned out that way. if you remember the not '70s, you weren't a part of it. what was the second question. >> jimmy carter. >> we were friends. he was a nice man. in my opinion, if anyone was ever, you know, not really up to the task of that, that would be, if you put it in the dictionary and illustrate it. good man, policies all wrong, and die remember snorting coke? i have kids and grandkids. >> greg: so you're saying you don't remember?
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>> hey, it just seemed like the thing to do. ahad some help -- stephen steels. -- i didn't say that. >> steven stills' son. >> that's the most insidious drug on the planet. >> i wouldn't disagree. >> let me give you, the test, they would put little monkeys in the cage and the little monkeys, they teach them to self-induce and bounce up against this needle. the little guy monkeys, if given a choice to get next to a little girl monkey or to get the cocaine, which one do you think they took? >> kaitlin jenner? >> no. they took the cocaine every time. it's insidious. >> but those monkeys were in a band. >> they ran out, you know. so it was crazy. it just seemed like the thing to
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do. the '70s. so stephen -- nobody was down there so we just went in the library, rest room. >> greg: nick, this is good news for everybody because if we're going to go back to the '70s, that means we're all doing coke in the white house. >> it wasn't a white house, it was a holiday inn. loudoun county. >> greg: so it's only been 100 some odd days and everybody is going to hell in a hand basket. >> is that a surprise? trump called everything that we're going through. i want to yell at people who voted for biden, but we know nobody did. [laughter] but here's the thing. that's my opinion, not fox's. but here's the thing. jimmy carter, like he said, i met him on the "tonight" show.
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he was a horrible politician but biden is inflicting this pain intentionally. we know it's aoc and bernie and the rest of the idiots. >> he's a hollow vessel. if he doesn't do what they say they don't give him the pudding. [laughter] >> i just want to go to pulled. >> greg: what are your thoughts on this theory that we're returning to the era known as the 1970s? you grew up in the 1970s, right? >> little bit. >> i was very coked up as a child. yes, it's definitely the '70s show. that's what we have with biden. it really feels like a throwback, too, because we're saying thing like, is jenner going to run? >> oh, i get it. >> i know you were sick earlier. >> yes, if i worked in the u.s.
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embassy somewhere, i would pack the bag because things are going to get bag. it's unfortunate. you look at somebody like, they don't seem to understand that the policies that are bad have bad consequences. it seems to baffle them and then you see deblasio and his wife on new year's eve dancing at an empty times square, "i am legend." meanwhile, he put her in charge of a charity that has $800 million unaccounted for. >> greg: exactly. >> the money went in and nothing came out. >> greg: i don't even think larry could spend all of that on coke. >> i tried. i tried. >> greg: so kat, talk about the trade-off before the election, which people were willing to vote trump out of office for his mean tweets and so what you've got in exchange, and that worked. no more mean tweets but newfoundland got inflation,
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unemployment, the middle east, so now all the news anchors can sleep better at night because trump doesn't hurt their feelings but the rest of us are all screwed. >> the news anchors are complicit in all of this. the government is saying, it's no big deal. like the gas thing, don't panic, it's no big deal. how is not being able to leave your house in a big deal? pete buttigieg may not have this but with all the crisis that he had 20 to face in south bend, indiana, they are stuck at home, can't go to work, but they get the government payments, stay home, environment is not effected, so it's not a problem if you true world in a certain way where individuals aren't responsible for taking care of themselves. i'm always responsible for taking care of myself. >> i'm married. >> a week and a half, way to go,
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girl. >> independent woman. >> up next, o.j. said okay but the party said no way. how great is it that we get to tell everybody how liberty mutual customizes your car insurance so you only pay for what you need? i mean it... uh-oh, sorry... oh... what? i'm an emu! no, buddy! only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty, liberty, liberty, liberty. ♪ ahhh! get out of here mouse. ahhh! ♪♪ don't flex your pecs. terminix.
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>> greg: when the juice gets you back it's probably time to pack. on wednesday, house republicans voted to remove wyoming congresswoman liz cheney from their leadership. her colleagues were upset she voted to impeach trump and has continued about her comments of the former president and the january capitol riots. >> i was not a fan of liz cheney president don't get me wrong, i'm 50-50 on her politics but i didn't like her.
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it seems truth and honesty seems to be the enemy of the republican politicians and liz cheney stands for truth. she may lose her position or her career as a politician but that's something to be admired standing up for the truth. >> greg: someone is auditioning for cnn. [laughter] >> greg: sunday, 8:00, it would be great. but you necessity it's trouble when o.j. weighs in on your behalf. the last time he paid this much attention to an outspoken blond lady -- let's move on. o.j. talking about standing for truth is like jack the ripper standing up for women's rights. still, the only reason cheney became a trump is because she's anti-trump. they can't stand her but they are willing to put that aside and already drooling over the comments she made after the
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vote. >> i will do everything i can to ensure that the former president never again gets anywhere near the oval office. we've seen the danger that he continues to provoke with his language. we've seen his lack of commitment and dedication to the constitution, and i think it's very important that we make sure whomever we elect is somebody who will be faithful to the constitution. >> greg: and also, don't shoot your best friend in the face. anyway, that was her dad, but anyway, that's a lot of constitution talk and a deep cut at the same time. anyway, an election on her replacement will take place at another date. lisa is a great frontrunner. but i also nominate these ladies.
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[bleeped] >> yes. [ bleep ]. [inaudible] turn to your right. >> greg: those are my groupys. i have to beat them up with a stick. you know when o.j. -- what do you make of this? >> i thought -- oj is the first thing i think of. you didn't even show the part where he quoted voltaire. i want to hear what antonio brown has to say about socrates, and he looks way too good for a guy who spent time in the can. >> greg: he's younger than me. >> if i was a politician i would rather be backed by oj than kaepernick.
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there is a hush, i understand. o.j., you know, lost his minds for five minutes but kaepernick lost his forever so i would rather have o.j. having my back. that's how much i hate kaepernick. >> greg: we don't know what he did. no, we don't but i'm just saying, liz cheney, i hate liz cheney more than kaepernick. >> i think that's the point i was trying to make. as far as the election goes. >> greg: yes. >> come on. i disagree a thousand percent. she's saying there are no shenanigans? >> greg: trump broke a lot of people. kissinger is another broken person. they were probably sensible but they can't get trump off the brain, joe. what are your thoughts. would you like to comment on o.j.? >> the o.j. endorsement hasn't
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been good since hertz rent-a-car five years ago. if she thought the republicans stabbed her in the back, the man is a widower for god's sake. this is the problem. >> greg: i knew this would happen. >> this is the problem. the news media thinks the rest of the world cares about what's going on with liz cheney. we really don't. we have much more serious things going on so they are going to tell this as if it's something in your face, where as normal people have more important things to worry about. we're on the brink of war in the rest of the world. we don't have gas. prices are going up. we don't care what's going on in wyoming. aoc's district has more people in it than the whole state of wyoming and hopefully liz won't make a dancing video for us. >> greg: i like that dancing video. >> i have a ranch in wyoming with larry. i disagree with you. >> you call it a ranch.
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>> greg: god knows what you people are planning. all i know is there is a weird buzzing noise coming from your ranch. anyway, kat, there is a paradox. when o.j. offers you support, if you accept it you look bad but if you don't accept it, he could kill you. >> true. yes, i thought, you said o.j. supporting you for being a truth teller is like jack the ripper supporting women's rights. it's also like liz cheney supporting herself for being a truth teller is just as bad, do we not remember the whole weapons of mass destruction thing that her dad was pushing and she was pushing on behalf of him? we went to war over that and a lot of people died. so although i'm very much in support of anybody who wants to feel comfortable, to break with what people are saying who are leaders and former leaders, hearing liz cheney go on and on about the importance of truth and how not telling the truth
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has consequences when she still continues to say the iraq war was a good idea even though it was based on a lie she helped pump up, she can save it. >> greg: larry, did you ever do coke with o.j.? >> there is kind of a recurring theme. [laughter] >> no, you know, he's become such a punch line. >> greg: yes. >> so unfair. >> i mean, he's not the brightest flame in the candle shop, you know what i'm saying. he may be able to -- i don't think i would want him on my side. johnny cash told me a long time ago there is no such thing as bad publicity unless they have a picture of you making love to a goat. i don't know if that's tantamount to o.j. supporting her, but the cheney family, they have been politics all of their life, and i would have thought on a serious note, i would have thought she would have been bigger, i mean, i've known president trump forever.
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he's been good, i lived in trump tower years ago. we played golf together. the choice for me was between voting for the town bully or voting for the village idiot. i picked the town bully. i don't want to go to war with a village idiot. to me, if your conservative values depend not on the values themselves, lower taxes, smaller government, strong defense, all the things that conservatives stand for, if your conservatism hinges on whether you like the guy or not then you're not a conservative. you're wishy-washy. >> greg: you're absolutely right. >> do good things for o.j. >> you don't hire a lawyer or an agent because you like them. you hire an agent or a lawyer because you hope the other people hate him. and he was -- trump was our agent. he was america's agent. he didn't give a [ bleep ] about anything but north america. that's all that matters. okay. up next, does ending lockdown
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actually brushing your teeth. but the daily mail interprets the news this way. casual sex is back on. great. friends are still being warned to use caution and common sense or as i interpret that, always make sure to wash your hands before and after you inflate the doll. that was meant to hurt you, joe. >> it did. >> greg: i want you to feel the sting of that insult. >> because i don't insult you enough. are you kind of shocked that they were enforcing a ban? i didn't even know about this. this is kind of crazy. >> i actually would listen to boris because he always looks like he has -- >> he's a player. >> i'm very happy for the british people, for the -- hooligans especially. i think it's great. we're talking british sex here. it's pale, it's foggy.
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it's not -- i've actually extended my tender age by 4,000 miles to maybe get some of that across the pond action. >> greg: done in a foggy moor. >> hound of the baskervilles. >> greg: after sex you share blood pudding. >> close your eyes and thing of new england. >> greg: i don't know what that means. i'm still shocked that they actually told citizens they couldn't like kiss people. >> first, how do they enforce this? was boris on the balcony with a telescope blowing a whistle every time he saw somebody across the way? >> greg: i don't know. >> undercover cops on tender. >> it's like, darling, will we be having sexual intercourse -- no, okay, that's fine. >> you know -- you alluded to the tooth thing.
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my god, i mean -- the country has bad breath. it would stop a train. my god, you know, you can tell the french are the ones with the good teeth. my god. i think he's got like a peeping tom thing. he's going to creep around as big brother. >> greg: i did live in england and i found it to be quite delightful. the people are magical. they are like from another planet except it's a country. >> i always felt like i was in the middle of a movie. >> greg: and they were filming porn. kat? >> i spent a lot of time reading about this today, and i found it, it's shocking that this ever happened and also more shocking that they are experts, i don't know how you would be experts at this, weighing in, the law says if you're going to have sex wear a mask and don't do it
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face-to-face. i don't even understand how that would work. i've only been married for a week and a half. >> greg: okay. one of you guys can answer this and then i've got to go. in the united states, we have a baseball analogy, right? first base, second base, how do you discuss sex without baseball? in england, they can't talk about it. do you use cricket? >> i was going right there, man, cricket. >> it's a better bat for paddling. [laughter] >> from what i've heard. >> greg: up next, removing gender words. bipolar depression. it's a dark, lonely place. this is art inspired by real stories of people living with bipolar depression. emptiness. a hopeless struggle. the lows of bipolar depression can disrupt your life and be hard to manage. latuda could make a real difference in your symptoms.
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jerry sandusky has passed exclusive language legislation to remove gender from course descriptions. parents paying $30,000 per year, faculty senate has decided to ban terms like junior and senior because they are "parallel to western male father-son name convention," documentation uses he-she pronounce. documentation. don't use a worked like that. mail centric terms like freshmen and upper classmen because they are apparently sexist. they will be replaced with terms like first year, fourth year and crushed by student loan debt. the resolution recommends that you move away from gender language and all written materials any time they refer to students, faculty or staff except for courses and degrees -- that relate to gender
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studies. >> you can still acknowledge gender in a gender studies course so i'm thinking at what point does all of this collapse in on itself? at what point is the gender studies course -- it's not real. close the book. based on everything they are saying, there should be no gender study because gender is not real so it's not your fault that you're not getting this. the ideas can't exist at the same time. >> greg: it makes no sense to me. nick, should modern schools be required to watch 30 hours of animal house? [laughter] why not? what college is really about. >> greg: exactly. and what life is about. >> you've seen the professors that teach this gender stuff. >> greg: my god. don't say it. >> they should be referred to as sir, and mister. what was my other really salient
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point? i thought about the sandusky junior-father thing. he had 12 wrestlers in the shower. they were staying at his house. i'm just saying. >> you're defense that. >> i'm saying it would have come up. go ahead. >> greg: larry, how does this prepare anybody for a successful career? >> it didn't. it absolutely doesn't. they finally have obsoleted themselves. just when you thought it couldn't get sillier. may someday we'll have a moment of truth when somebody like fred couples, golfer, right, great golfer, a friend of mine, joins the women's tour as freedom couples. and he'll go out there and take a four iron and a pitching wedge and putter and beat the women. they cannot compete with that. you know, they want to have it both ways. like i said --
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>> greg: who doesn't? >> it's not like the old boy who was with a veterinarian and taxidermist. they did go too far. it's come full circle. they are going to disprove their point. when some tight end 6'4", 260 pounds runs a 4.40 and sharon, a girl, who is 103 pounds, trying to tackle her and she's paralyzed, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. >> it's good. i want to see this play out. >> greg: i don't know how long humans have been on the planet, but in the last 15 years or 20, we've decided we know more about the biology of gender than the entire history of the human species. >> this is clearly the biggest scandal that ever hit penn state. i wish they would stop moving
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slowly. just comrade. that's what they want. i'm in favor of that now. it's easier than trying to memorize -- it's absurd at this point. what are we going to do, make penn state the first completely blank university? william penn had slaves hundreds of years ago. you've got to take that name away and you can't call them lions because they are meet eaters. where everyone goes to class, you're wearing a garbage bag, no one can tell your size,ender age, if we're going to have a year zero let's do it. >> greg: chico state? >> everybody goes in california he's right. chico state. a terrible school. >> you can call something what you want to. you can call a red light a green light but there will be hell to pay when somebody says, well, i know it's red but i'm just going to call it green. one of my heroes, dr. allen bloom in the closing of the american mind, law may prescribe
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that men's nipples are equal to women's nipples, but the men's nipples will still not give milk. >> i liked your other texas sayings much better. [laughter] >> greg: we learned so much tonight. this obsession might -- to chase down problematic words might actually be a good thing because it pre-occupies losers who could be far more destructive in other areas. maybe we just let them chase the pronounce of these activists and leave us all alone. up next, who made the rock 'n roll hall of fame? it's a story no one is talking about to my knowledge, anyway. my retirement plan with voya keeps me moving forward. they guide me with achievable steps that give me confidence. this is my granddaughter...she's cute like her grandpa. voya doesn't just help me get to retirement... ...they're with me all the way through it. voya. be confident to and through retirement. joint pain, swelling, tenderness.
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>> greg: they beat all the odds. the rock 'n roll fame announced the 2021 class and for some insane reason once again crocus has been snubbed. crocus has been snubbed. that's got me screaming into the night. instead here's who made the cut in what's being called the most diverse, thank you, finally a
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diverse class. this is what we need. we've got the go-goes. we have jz. we have tina turner. and finally, the foo fighters. they have really been mailing it in recently. take a look at their last concert. ♪ solo. [guitar strum] >> greg: they have really gone downhill. they were so talented. >> that's what happens, exactly. >> anybody in the rock 'n roll hall of fame that you wanted to
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be in that isn't in? >> that was a strange question. 1980s metal bands don't get the respect they deserve. i'm glad the go-goeses are in. they were a very innovative band. plus charlotte, they said she couldn't tour because she had carpel tunnel syndrome but she was actually addicted to heroin. if that isn't a hall of fame rock 'n roll move, i don't know what is. what i don't like is they include diverse people who have nothing to do with rock 'n roll. put them it in hip-hop hall of fame, rock 'n roll hall of fame, iron maiden didn't get in. they should get in because they were a great band. they inspired and influence add lot of bands and they wore tighter bands in the go-go's did. >> greg: i was so embarrassed about getting carpel tunnel syndrome i told people i was addicted to heroin. >> times are changing.
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>> greg: i think that would make a great lyric. >> times that are a changing. >> greg: just murder the joke, larry. drag it out and bury it in the streets. larry, you are actually a musician. a music legend. you played everywhere. who should be in there that isn't in there? >> i'll get back to you. they put my friend in there johnny cash. we know he's not rock 'n roll. because some people are so all-encompassing. they don't -- you can't define them. they are undefinable. tina turner, who was the "it" girl, somebody google who is the "it" girl, tina turner. >> amanda -- >> tina turner was the "it" girl as far as performance.
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we were in vegas with them at one time, they worked shows and we worked opposite them and i sat over there every night and watched, it was a classroom, take notes. one of the hardest working women in show business. >> i'll tell you who should be in there who is not, men without hats. >> greg: yes. the safety dance. >> just the name of the group. >> greg: men without hats. that was a jab ought, larry. >> guess who? oh, from canada. >> how are they not in the rock 'n roll hall of fame. >> american woman destroyed by lenny cravitts. they were the original. burton cummings. underrated classic band. no sugar tonight in my coffee. >> what is the metrics, because he's great but he's not rock 'n roll. this is not the first time they put rappers in but why not like beethoven. that guy had some bangers, right? >> he did a lot of coke, too.
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>> in the carter white house. >> the people who voted him in obviously are democrats because they are making this crap up as they go. we'll just put anybody we want in. >> it's like putting a 240 hitter on the baseball hall of fame. >> they had two hits. >> as big as a whale. >> it's like a b-52. >> i thought she was part -- >> greg: probably one of the greatest bands ever, agreed? >> one of the greatest -- >> greg: we've got to go. this was scintillating, i believe. i think we have more stuff. [applause] did you know you can go to libertymutual.com to customizes your car insurance so you only pay for what you need? really? i didn't-- aah! ok. i'm on vibrate. aaah! only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪
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hey lily, i need a new wireless plan for my business, but all my employees need something different. oh, we can help with that. okay, imagine this... your mover, rob, he's on the scene and needs a plan with a mobile hotspot. we cut to downtown, your sales rep lisa has to send some files, asap! so basically i can pick the right plan for each employee... yeah i should've just led with that... with at&t business... you can pick the best plan for each employee and only pay for the features they need. ♪ ♪ life can be a lot to handle. ♪this magic moment,♪ but there's plenty of magic in all that chaos. ♪so different and so new.♪ ♪was like any other...♪
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combination of advil plus acetaminophen. advil targets pain. acetaminophen blocks it. advil dual action. fast pain relief that lasts 8 hours. oh! don't burn down the duplex. terminix. as your business changes, the united states postal service is changing with it. with e-commerce that runs at the speed of now. next day and two-day shipping nationwide, and returns right from the doorstep. it's a whole new world out there. let's not keep it waiting. ♪ ♪ >> greg: before we go, let's do this. ♪ ♪ where i live i see a lot of celebrities and i will check in
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on them because sometimes i worry about them. they heard a lot of noise from alec baldwin's townhouse so i decided to check. there he was. i don't know what happened. he lost his temper. he couldn't handle it. i feel bad for him because i know he's doing a lot of yoga and he's trying to get his temper under control. he just destroyed the place. we love you. we hope you get better. put on a shirt. before we go, nick, where can people catch you? >> tomorrow night in cleveland. thursday in baltimore. saturday night in pennsylvania. >> greg: and you're driving. >> yes. >> greg: i didn't exactly get a handful of cash to come up. >> greg: all right. set your dvrs every night you never miss an episode. thanks to larry, nick, joe, kat, our studio audience.
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fox news. "fox news @ night" is next. ♪ ♪ >> shannon: hello and welcome to "fox news @ night." i am shannon bream in washington. there's a lot going on tonight around the world. buckle up. republicans blasting president biden tonight for what they call his disastrous handling of crises on multiple fronts. new theories of inflation as consumer prices hit record highs. markets fall and gas line reminiscent of the 1970s return. >> we have not seen gasoline lines. speak to our ally israel under a
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