tv Gutfeld FOX News May 13, 2021 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT
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and free childcare if you organize it around the lives of human beings. >> then you could make that to everything under the sun is infrastructure and we should spend $100 trillion and give everything to everyone. we abundantly do have the money to get those paid for, right? >> wrong. what a lightweight. gutfeld takes it all from here. >> i want you to look at this and think about, some people love hamburgers, some don't freight i want to respect all days of life right think of thi when you think of vaccination. vaccination. i'm getting a very good feeling. >> just another whopper from bigger mix cheese.
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>> i'm still grossed out by that . it's been a few months and joe biden has made more mistakes than i did in med school. that's why i'm not a doctor. why all of those people are dead . it gets a laugh. all those dead people. now we could point out all of joe's failures, but i have a wedding to go two in september. what's weird is how the media berries these stories like cat food in a sandbox. where does it go? the computer shop where hunter biden took his laptop? there's a lot of bad stuff goin on. like kamala harris, the jimmy hoffa of vice president, it's nowhere to be found. biden screws up and they slippe the story awaited like those photos i have of bill hemmer. imagine if any of this happened
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under president trump. the highest rated inflation and 13 years. it's now rising faster than it has in a decade entering a job surplus, has that ever happened before? that is like losing weight afte eating 10 pounds of cookie duo, relax, it's not possible. as always, it's all about the incentives and incentives if you're married, you know what i mean. if you want your wife to stay interested in the bedroom, you do what i do, you put the dishwasher in there. sadly, the only incentives that the dems understand is if you give someone money, they will vote for you. i was kind of hoping that was changing. biden has now decided to resume part rebuilding the wall.
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that big evil satan wall, remember when they stopped building it in january? every liberal did a victory dance including elizabeth warre and i know because it rained over my house for three days. what happened next? a massive influx of migrants, thousands of kids showed up unaccompanied and on the school night no less. incentives took center stage, like a bunion on pelosi's foot, a god big and ugly fast. but may be, i thought, somethin came to joe's senses, probably pulling numbers, or smelling salts, or may be the images of children being abandoned in the mountains like james franco tendered dates that wouldn't pu out. i was hoping biden woke up to the thing that not everything trump did was evil and the advice he's getting from the woke is idiotic.
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record low unemployment especially among minorities, energy independence north korea know an apocalyptic headache great a plethora of peace deals very true trump could hurt your feelings, i'm still smarting over being snubbed for that presidential medal of freedom. but all of joe's current problems are based on rejecting trump's him which isn't away to ride a code to recruit it's lik hooking up with a the loser after you got dumped. but it only harms you. however, it's great if your boa loser that people keep hooking up with where that was the only way i got lucky in college. i wonder what our angry white male thanks. >> presidential politics, what pain. i like the last guy okay. but i know there were a lot of people who didn't. it seems like the negative
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voices always outweigh the positive ones, and i don't want to get involved in all that. some days, politics really gets me down. than other days i think, who cares, i just bought this sweet telescope. i'm just getting angrier every day. so trump mostly made decisions based on principles and incentives with disincentive fo it if it made him look good or bad, who cared, it works very trump would never call router o protesters because that's incentive to loot freight he never paid people not to work because that's an incentive not to work. he never applaud identity politics because that's an incentive to divide. true he makes fun of your weigh or your hair, but that's the price you pay for commonsense. place she got franklins to join the gym.
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i go back to this analogy when you hire a lawyer, do you want everybody in the court to like them or do you want everybody t say holy, not that guy. trump was supposed to be america's lawyer. and he was. if there's one thing we americans love it's our sleep. [bleep]. >> let's welcome our guest. we always see i to i cover because were both wearing heels. if looks could kill, his face would be on trial for murder. newsroom coanchor phil hemmer. he was valedictorian of his driver's ed class. she's returned everything from her wedding including her husband, fox news contributor can you explain to me what i
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just read or what just happened? i thought they were really goin to rebuild the wall, but it turns out they're only going to build on the levees. >> i understand why you would get excited because it would make sense. within eli common sense, but here's the deal. down at the border, lots of flooding can happen so there's levy symptom. what trump said is because there's a levee system, let's put the wall that we are continuing to build on top of that because it will save taxpayers money, it's already improved environmentally, we ca just do that. then they stop the wall, but they still need the levees. so they're going to do the levees, but not the law, which doesn't make sense. >> how much sense does she make though? >> i need this five days a week. >> no wonder you've gone crazy. people are driving you nuts. i went through this too. are you tired of the dog at?
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>> you haven't met jesper? get haven't met jasper. >> jasper is kind of like the size of a construction worker who wants to sit on your lap. so when he climbs up on top of you,. >> has totally ripped right now great looks great. >> tell me more. >> i feel like every time i hea levy i feel like i should be singing american pie. >> i thought it was a great explanation. feel like this is redeye on steroids. what did i just drop into? iv and how about the upgrade? >> it's actually pretty nice red . >> apparently bill has never watched the show before bradys like what is this place? am i on a spaceship? he kept commenting on the studio
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. >> during the opening mono i'm looking over at hemmer and he looks like where are the exits. like if he had to make a break for it. >> and know what the problem was , it was the dishwasher. >> i wanted to know what his name was. that is a good joke. that is a good joke. >> i'm joking. cat, what are your thoughts. here is a theory. i believe that biden is truly the opposite of trump and that trump was bad words and good deeds, but biden is good words, but no deeds for it get the policy is awful. it's worse than that because much like my string of unemployed ex- boyfriends, in addition to things going terribly come, but they're also
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incredibly expensive to maintain . lake, he spent almost $150 billion on education. doubling the department of budget. it's not just kids are doing kids aren't in school at all. so it's really bad, things are bad and it costs a lot of money. not worth it. >> i know you were critical of trump, don't you kind of miss the mean tweets and the $2 gas? >> definitely the cheaper gas. and definitely most of the policies freight i think part o the frustrations for a lot of normal people that are not completely obsessed with hating donald trump or joe biden is this weird obsession with doing exactly the opposite. while, if that was a trump related thing, we have to make that as out of bounds, we can't do it. so he therefore good policy jus went overboard and it's pure signaling.
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it is stupid. to get this is what they cut themselves under obama, this is stupid. this is what spouses do commit when you're planning a fun nigh out and you get into a little tiff and then it's like zero, we're not going. that's it. >> the other extreme. >> they just go to extremes. that drives me crazy. >> it drives me nuts. what's great, i'm always glad when things get canceled. know, we had plans to go to the opera. you don't want to go on the first place for it i got the biggest whopper on the board wa the what the head of the dhs said this week freight he said the border is closed. >> what's he watching? >> he was thinking about the bookstore.
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>> the good of them deserves ou love. >> they spent three weeks on that. get the criteria for this is very strict. mostly don't like people inside or kill the elderly. anything after that is awesome. first up is the governor of the buckeye state he is ending ohio's covid orders as of june 2nd and that includes the mask mandate and distancing in restaurants. also teenage boys can return to practicing french kissing on their fist.
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that's tasteless too, i wrote that one. that's three weeks for more people to get vaccinated and he's got a plan for that freigh he's holding lottery with five cash process of $1 million. any adult and he's paying for with federal pandemic relief funds. here he is explaining the reaso for the move. >> we've got people who are clearly not going to get it the have every right to make that decision, but then you people i the middle and they are persuadable people and there ar people who may have just put it off, some people will say he's crazy and this is a big waste o money, but the real waste is th real waste is when somebody at this stage, when we have the vaccine, that will pretty much 100 percent protect you, that you don't take it. >> i'm going to look like him i ten years. i can tell you that right now. meanwhile in florida, the birthplace of hooters, the
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governor will pardon anyone tarts for not wearing masks or social distancing. the move came a day after the cdc said fully vaccinated peopl could quit wearing masks indoor freight he announced it to a couple facing jail time. >> when our board meets in the coming weeks. will have the part not only for but for any floridian who may have outstanding infractions fo things like masks and social distancing. >> these things should be advisory, they should not be punitive. >> that looks like a of a tv program. that couple was facing 120 days in jail, which isn't so bad because in prison you can alway catch up on your reading. you should see the book dana wrote. it's called everything sucks an i'm going to murder you. also was a bestseller. so phil, what are your thoughts on the lottery?
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>> we had him on our program this morning. i think they started aiming a little too high on this. and when you're starting at the million. why don't we start at like 10,000? see what kind of reaction you get and maybe work your way up. >> they probably done the science where they know though get more people are suckers for more money. >> i get it, but these are taxpayer dollars that you're saying we're going to give out $1 million a week for everybody they gets vaccinated. >> you can't give it back though . this is money they were already given for a covid relief fund s i thought this is silverdome an now i think it's dumb, but it's not his fault because you can't just give it back to the taxpayers that's not allowed, s he found a way to sort of kind of do that and incentivizing vaccines is the best thing you can do to get the scientificall
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backed path to going back to normal. >> that's true. what did you make of this? >> i want to clarify for the record, and actually did eat at hooters for the food. to get you the guy. >> playboy for the articles and hooters for the food. wings and beer. and sports and other things. i love the sports. the baseball in the basketball. i do love sweaty men running up and down the field. sorry, no it's okay, you are lost in the moment there. i wanted to let you hold onto it . now here is the thing. at least you didn't use air quotes. >> for wife? >> i think this is actually a brilliant idea and i will say that i don't hate it's because your right, the money is spent. you could argue it's wasteful, but it's already out there.
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most people that either have th vaccine already or are lining u to do it. a handful of folks who are saying were not getting this period. and then the governor was say there is the group of people cova throughout ideological cover they're not going to respond to typical psa's and that kind of thing craig freigh you have to give them something not ideological and what is mor universal than you might win $1 million for 80, that gets my attention i'm vaccinated in might do it again. its publishers clearinghouse. >> with this funding, he is getting a line to to start cutting back on the unemploymen payments just like a lot of these other states are doing. and i ate the wings at hooters too. blue cheese. get the best thing about hooter was they revolutionized pantyhose with shorts. i mean, i thought i was just th one.
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>> did you find that comfortable ? >> sometimes it ran up when i was running at night, but let's get away from what i do in my private time in the park, is it using a lottery for other thing like to use a lottery as a way to force people to focus on things, like what if you were a politician and you said you vot for me or you support my campaign in one of you will win $1 million, like if you had the money, it's like a ponzi scheme. everybody puts money income of what you're going to give it out . >> it would be bribery and buying votes freight hears a couple of things. one, he's going to make sure this money will be better spent in ohio by whoever wins it in something our producers had thi morning was actually, the taxpayers, the put this money i will get some back because that money is taxable. >> they will get 50 percent of it back what'll go to some lous government program, to go to a levy bird could get that levee
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was dry and they were singing. that song drove me crazy. >> it goes on for so long. >> and it's in every irish bar in dc. there is always some guy up they're singing it he's from sorority girls, throwing up on your feet. >> another verse, thank god. okay, they are rapping me. should we be complaining about low kearny training? either way just add that. that's how you do it right. usaa insurance is made just the way martin's family needs it with hassle-free claims, he got paid before his neighbor even got started. because doing right by our members, that's what's right. usaa. what you're made of, we're made for. ♪ usaa ♪ [sfx: kids laughing]
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it's an important time to save. with priceline, you can get up to 60% off amazing hotels. and when you get a big deal... you feel like a big deal. ♪♪ priceline. every trip is a big deal. >> woke troops lack the will to attack the u.s. army's latest recruitment campaign creating quite the buzz for leading its cuts at all, same-sex parenting overcoming gender stereotypes. typical battlefield preparation check it out for fred. >> it begins in california with a little girl raised by two moms
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. although i had to variably typical childhood, when i was six years old, one of my moms had an accident, doctor say she may never walk again. eventually, standing at the altar to marry my other mom, i began feeling like it been handed so much in life as sorority girls stereotype at what had i achieved on my own? i needed my my own challenge. and after meeting with an army recruiter, i found it right awa to prove my inner strength. i'm u.s. army corporal emma malone, i answered my calling. >> let's compare that to what the russians are putting out. [foreign language]
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think is an american citizen i' more concerned about military readiness than a quality or inclusiveness freight i don't think they're mutually exclusiv though, but what i was distracted by was this wedding and you can ask kat, i will attend any wedding, so i kinda want to go hang out at a weddin like that parade that seems seems sort of appealing. >> you are at cats wedding, weren't you? >> of the flower girl was a guy. >> in heels. and it was not me. to clarify. it was a guy, one of his her buddies. >> let's try to get back on point, build. >> my feeling is, affect methinks whatever works, and half of me thinks there's a lot of tough marines that want your face, and probably could go for a different spot. so i mean, if you were in charge
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, which ad would you prefer to use? >> i would use option number tw and i would say [foreign language] >> the only russian you know. >> i think it's interesting, ca you say whether or not this would be a campaign that would be used in the cia or the u.s. military if trop had won a second term? >> he would probably rail against a parity probably make speech fred. >> i think the answer is no. here is a theory. i realize were probably comparing something that is internal, maybe that was russia internal two, i'm getting the feeling that this touchy feelin this is a protection racket, so that people will be less inclined to think of the military as something dangerous. >> it depends on also with the recruiting for. we had that ca video. one of the things a retired cia
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agent told me as that's ad was focusing on latino women. so the reason is china is kicking our rear end in latin america and they need to recrui people that will be able to blend and when they're of our cover. i don't know what the recruitin for an vision woman that such a founder calling working for the military, maybe she's a cybersecurity expert and can figure out how to kick the of the dark side. >> there has to be analytics behind it. >> it could be animator spirit. >> yes, although i've got to say . may be because i hit am masculine male,. >> very masculine pride i was thinking about the russian ad, it spoke to me. >> seen any kind of woke anything is kinda weird. especially this one it's all
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identity politics and girl powe and you're watching it come int your mind yourself this is a recruitment ad for the world's most powerful killing machine. and then it gets a little weird. also, i just married a veteran so i guess someone who's half veteran half veteran by marriage , i obviously did not mean that freight, but i he tells me stories and i've got t say, that was pretty harsh. some of the stuff he had to do hits like you had to do that, and it sound so crazy so i just think that she's explaining it as something she did, how could you possibly do that, she said she did it because her sorority life wasn't fulfilling and she wanted adventure, her sorority sister was in italy. i feel the way my husband actually did to me as you do it for a reason other than yoursel like wood in your country over yourself. >> why didn't he re- upcoming your husband? >> i don't know, he didn't want too.
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>> on camera she laughed, while she badgered her staff, so all good things must end, and also the ellen degenerate show. yes the 83 -year-old entertaine just announced that the upcomin 19th season of her show will be its last breath apparently she created a workplace more toxic than an amazon warehouse than chernobyl. countless allegations surfaced that they work environment was rife with harassment and discrimination for following those charges ellen's ratings dropped class or faster than kevin spacey's pants at a boy
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band pool party. ellen told the today show, home of matt lauer, that the bad press the bad press actually ha nothing to do with her decision. in the titanic didn't hit an iceberg, it chose to sink fred. >> april is just quitting, i would not have come back this year. i really did think about not coming back because it did i mean it was devastating. ima kind person, i am a person who likes to make people happy. could to get the real reason sh said it was just too easy telling the hollywood reporter, when your creative person you constantly need to be challenge as great as they show is and as fun as it is, it's just not a challenge anymore. if that's true, when your viewership is down 43 percent, why not consider that the challenge. in the meantime, to make sure that my staff is i had my
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assistant, james, ask them how stuff is going so far. >> unbelievable. when i first got this job, greg flew to arkansas and packed my bags for me. then when we got to new york he said i could live in his apartment and he would go stay at which doesn't really make sense, but the show has been great. >> when my wedding dress got destroyed right before the wedding, he stayed up for 36 hours and knitting me a new one. he brought it to my apartment, delivered it to me before he left he gave my husband a pedicure. he just went straight for his toes fred he was the dj, he cleaned up and we woke up the morning after the wedding, asking us how we liked our eggs. >> pretty good, the other day h came in with this igloo cooler and he said oh, here is one of my kidneys as a break i'm not even take a said okay, just in
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case you are later you can have that. >> these are pretty exhausting investigation into my staff there. i think we can safely say that am not a jerk despite the rumors . do you think this is just peopl come up when you become successful, after spend less time with people around you because you're surfacing, linda generous is servicing millions of people in her show that ther before she has to mitigate or control the abounds of exposure with actual real people. >> does that make sense? >> it does in theory, but i'm hanging out on the street and i'm super famous. all these reports, there were s many of them a people being lik multiple people having the same story of her handlers before an interview or anything would say don't look her in the eye. >> they use that with all celebrities like sinatra, somebody don't look them in the
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eye. i always feel like that's the g to. >> it's also weird that she won't acknowledge it at all. she has nothing to do. so my ratings are down and i'm leaving. know it's just not challenging and i'm still creative and i'm so good at my job that i have t quit. >> new challenges, she should look at when people look at her. that could be the new challenge. >> ellen is letting this on misogyny, but there were female that were involved in criticizing her and her staff fred. >> that was not that was gender-neutral. so when she's doing an intervie with savannah savanna, to me sh had there is no joy in her voice , but she's saying she's ending it on her own terms, but she sounds like there is a gun to her head. it she's speaking as if she knows that she has to do this interview and get through it, but if she wanted us to believe
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that she would say it wasn't challenging anymore, i lived it for 19 years i have a lot of projects coming up and i'm sorr people felt that way on my team. >> she is good. >> speaking of gun to head, how do you think greg got all those testimonials from his staff. all at gunpoint obviously. the man is a tyrant. >> i have a source in hollywood he said on the five today that ellen has a staff of 255 people. >> jesse's source was tyrus. >> so now are playing the telephone game. x-uppercase-letter, 255? i like ellen. of always like her. on the seinfeld thing when they were driving around in the car in la. >> comedians in cars. >> i was telling dana earlier
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today, she was approachable, shia would say, but approachable . >> if she would just let me com over and look at her for a few hours. >> having a successful show for 19 years or 19 seasons is reall hard for there's talent there, there's people working hard i think part of the issue is when your whole brand is just joy, happiness, and then this kind o excludes all over it commit tha is your problem. >> she ended each show saying b kind to one another. >> i am always angry and mean. >> because that's who you are. is not like zero i'm going to say everybody hugged everybody and then i caught sight just yell at you. >> we expect abuse. >> the other thing is i want he to be a guest on the show so i have to defend her and i'm goin to say a lot of people complain about people just because you complain about your boss.
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>> bill hammer just asked me to do as show on friday. a bed he wants to be on the she to get the car service to go out . he doesn't even care. >> i was thinking you're a big shot like ellen and you do to shows in and day. >> that will happen soon. i love working on friday's. >> are these the final days or endless buffets? now that restaurants are openin back up, buffet owners are wondering how to feed customers with new restrictions. instead of the traditional all you can carry to the table without getting harpoons approach, pre- ships and casino are considering like point and grunt where diners gesture at the food and employee dumps it on their plate just like they d
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at sea world. also, prison. or they talk about using the aero club. they are hard to keep clean, th food sits for hours, there's cross-contamination and the sneeze guard are always disgusting, a veritable sin cit of not. where else can a man meet expired sushi and glazed like it's his last meal only to wash it down with a coke zero. let's pause for a moment to remember this culinary greatness . ♪
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>> in lou of flowers, just go two arby's fred. >> i can't believe how fast you bounce back from how sad that was. he was so young. i gather myself very. >> i hear it's going to be an open casket. >> going back to the good old days. open, and i actually have an anecdote. i was at a buffet style thing recently a very nice salad bar and i had my plate ready to go and as was mentioned there, there was no attendant in there like literally every item they would say would you like this fraid you couldn't touch anything great would you like this, what you like that and i felt ashamed like i didn't take as much as i wanted i said oh no , that's more than enough, but
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i can't say it's freight like somebody's going to be judging you. maybe it's good for my health, but it was sad, i wanted him to be judged very. >> that's a great study because that would, somebody looking at you while you're at a buffet where you have to affirmatively say yes to every single thing, you're going to take less and less you are a very special person. >> i would be so obnoxious, wha are you joking? look at me. four slices of bacon? this is a buffet, i get 20. and then i'm going to throw awa half of it. no, i won't do that. are you going to miss the buffet ? >> those things are big in new york city. you know, the city that was pretty get the city that no longer exist. when you said buffets in new york, what flashed in my head was a really terrible story. the ones that we're happening a couple of years ago in new york where somebody was going into the bodegas doing bad things.
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>> that happened? >> we talked about this. >> i don't remember this very. >> it happened in midtown, ther was a phantom cooper. google. >> you don't even know what the keyword brickey i don't think dana spends a lot of time at bodegas. >> are you implying that she's racist because your right. she laughs. i have to wash my brain from that thoughts. but, are there any favorite buffet foods? >> for me, now. chicken wings. vacant. >> here's the thing, cats. when you go to any buffet in ne york city. they all have the same stuff. they have turkey chili commit turkey noodle. in the income of the specials are the same and then you have
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the chickens are this. there is a big place somewhere. that's the size of the world's largest cemetery. and they are just keeping it ou of the ground. >> it's disgusting. there was this chinese buffet i hillsville mystic and when i went it and i would love to go there and eat and eat great i felt terrible for the rest of the day after every time, but i say after every time because i kept going back. >> what's interesting about it and i'll get to this analogy. you look forward to a buffet late going in that you get ther and within ten minutes you are regretting what you've done to yourself. like those brazilian meat restaurants where they come coming over. i think it's just like sexual promiscuity. the idea itself the endless
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supply of sexual novelty seems enterprising or fun, but then after ten minutes you're like i'm tired i'm hungry, let's go to the buffet. >> was not directed at me for a particular reason. >> i don't know why i said guy. >> oh, i think you do. >> but it's not scientific, thi whole thing very that's making me mad. covid doesn't spread on surface right now we don't have to wear masks indoors. i want my buffet back great. >> i want my buffet back too. we are losing parts of america. >> there was a midtown. >> it was golden to. but for the wrong reasons prate i don't know what's wrong with me but if something bad happene to me.
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>> we will be right back. hey fod a way to face it. for some, this is where their keytruda story begins. keytruda - a breakthrough immunotherapy that may treat certain cancers. one of those cancers is advanced nonsquamous, non-small cell lung cancer where keytruda is approved to be used with certain chemotherapies as your first treatment if you do not have an abnormal “egfr” or “alk” gene. keytruda helps your immune system fight cancer but can also cause your immune system to attack healthy parts of your body. this can happen during or after treatment and may be severe and lead to death. see your doctor right away if you have cough, shortness of breath, chest pain, diarrhea, severe stomach pain or tenderness, severe nausea or vomiting, headache, light sensitivity, eye problems, irregular heartbeat, extreme tiredness, constipation, dizziness or fainting, changes in appetite, thirst, or urine, confusion or memory problems, muscle pain or weakness, fever, rash, itching, or flushing. these are not all the possible side effects. tell your doctor about all your medical conditions,
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including immune system problems, or if you've had an organ transplant, had or plan to have a stem cell transplant, or have had radiation to your chest area or a nervous system condition. today, keytruda is fda-approved to treat 16 types of advanced cancer. and is being studied in hundreds of clinical trials exploring ways to treat even more types of cancer. it's tru. keytruda from merck. see the different types of cancer keytruda is approved to treat at keytruda.com, and ask your doctor if keytruda can be part of your story. rene is not an influencer. she's more of a groundbreaker. just look at the way she's reshaping and reimagining her four-acre. slice of heaven. it's not hard to tell she's the real deal. renee runs with us on a john deere 1series tractor because out here, you can't fake a job well done. nothing runs like a deere. get a 1sseries tractor starting at $99 per month. ♪♪ it's an important time to save.
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with priceline, you can get up to 60% off amazing hotels. and when you get a big deal... you feel like a big deal. ♪♪ priceline. every trip is a big deal. ♪ ♪ up to one million dollars. that's how much university of phoenix is committing to create 400 scholarships this month alone. if you're committed to earning your degree, we're committed to making it accessible. because we believe everybody deserves a chance. and sometimes one chance is all it takes to change everything. see what scholarship opportunities you may qualify for at phoenix.edu it was a life changing moment for me.
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>> greg: we are out of time. set your dvr so you never miss an episode. thank you, dana perino, bill hemmer, guy benson, kat timpf. "fox news @ night" with shannon bream is next. i am greg gutfeld and i love, america. ♪ ♪ >> shannon: hello and welcome to "fox news @ night." i am shannon bream in washington. breaking tonight, the cdc says it's following the science by finally allowing fully vaccinated people to ditch their masks indoors and out but critics say it's not the science that's changed with politics. our panel weighs in on that and an
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