exchange. >> and johnson had said yes to being john f. kennedy's vice president because he thought he had power. he was convinced he would be to the democrats in the congress and expectable office in the west wing. lbj was not a happy guy. turned out okay for him. laura: what? have a great weekend. greg gutfeld takes it from here. what? greg gutfeld takes it from here. >> blood may be thicker than water but not thicker than kool-aid. >> greg: i don't think she's had kool-aid before. [applause] all right. you know, some beliefs are easy to debunk. for example, this was not kat timpf at a bar last night.

[laughter] and on a work night. we're also told by the media that diversity is the single most important issue right now at work and at school. they all agree on this. no diversity there. it's group think without the think part. but if white liberals think they're undeserved of a job, why aren't they resigning? i'll give you ten minutes to stop laughing. if you think white people could abdicate their leadership roles, shouldn't they lead by example? take cnn. there is jeff zuckerberg all entitled.

if you ask that question, it's guaranteed not a single left wing caucasian will take you up on it. they want you to put your job on the market, not theirs. they love the virtue signal. you'll see this in the hilarious hypocritical world of climate change. the kids we send them to college to make them unlikable and unployable are the most likely to get involved in climate activism. they talk a good game. they tell you to use less fuel and eat less meat. that makes me think they're responsible for the last few hackings. ask them the practice what they preach, they collapse faster than a thriving economy under joe biden. dare them to back up their words with actions and they fold faster than a hammock holding bryant and his deep fried doughnut holes.

chris cuomo feeds them like grapes. we visited georgetown students to see how much they were willing to do for the planet. everybody agreed how crucial it was to fight climate change. >> how important is climate change to you and combatting it, fighting against it? >> climate change is like everything. when you live, you like clear air and clear environment. >> i think it's important because the climate is something that we live in and we thrive on. so it's something that we need to protect. >> it's protects us and everything around us. so yeah, i don't think people have been doing enough for it. >> very important. >> i agree, it's very important and should be taken more seriously. it upsets me that it's been politicized. >> you think we should do everything in our power as individuals to combat it? >> yeah, obviously. >> it's very important. why not? this shouldn't be a question. >> directly affect us.

so we should be doing everything we can. >> biden released a plan for climate change trying to combat the crisis. would you support a plan like that? >> yes. >> i would follow it if it did things correctly. >> yes, i think -- >> he mentioned that in his speech to the congress, correct? >> yes. such a big issue right now. >> yeah, i would support any plan to help it. >> greg: yes. how thoughtful? our future is in safe hands. if only they could pronounce the first t in important. are ts bad for the environment? it's important to me. important. what happens when you ask them to sign a pledge vowing to actually do their part? what do you think? >> you guys vow to stop all personal air travel, so never use an airplane especially international travel? do you pledge to eat a cold

dinner to degrees your stove? base that creates carbon emissions. would you commit to living somewhere where you can only use a bike so you'd have to sell your car, have to bike to work and school every day? if you guys vow to do all three of these things, you can sign the pledge. but if you don't -- >> i'm sorry. we have to go. >> thank you. >> thank you. i have to go to school. i can't do that. ? they fled like they were being chased by charlie rose in an open road with a jar of vick's vapor rub. let's hear more. >> so you would never fly a plane ever again? >> i mean that one could be a little difficult. >> would you be willing to do all three of these things? never travel on an airplane or eat cold dinners in an effort to combat climate ching change?

>> for the rest of your life? >> probably not. i travel a lot. it would be difficult. where would i go? get around? >> i don't like eating cold dinner three times a week to decrease -- >> what about the other one? >> maybe not. >> i can vow to do the first one. but i don't know about the second because it would be difficult finding meals that don't require cooking. >> greg: wait. he says it would be difficult to find edible uncooked food? apparently he's never heard of an apple. that's what is keeping him from saving the planet, his fear of a cold hot pocket? finally -- >> a lot of politicians are pushing for this. president biden created it. you think they will stop air plan travel and continue to do the same thing while they ask other americans to stop? >> they'll continue doing the

same thing. it's annoying and rude. they're wanting us to stop. why don't they stop, too? >> it's not fair. that's selfishness for me. >> again, like if they're going to expect us to do it, expect everyone to do it. >> they're flying all over. i would say it's hypocritical for them to say that all americans should stop when they're not. >> greg: vocal fry. it's almost like they just learned something. so it's easy to poke fun at young minds that endorse crap that they haven't thought through, which is why we do it. it's friday. it's also why god made democrats. they never have second thoughts because it's hard enough coming up with the first one. it's not entirely the kids fault. schools used to teach people how to think. now how to feel. especially how to feel bad about the planet, america, their past as an oppressor. i wonder what the angry white male has to say. ♪♪

>> people ask me if i believe in the concept of privilege. you bet i do. was i born with a set of advantages? yes, i was. do i owe everything to those advantages? i do. my privilege? being born in the u.s.a. ♪♪ >> greg: he's whiter than eating marshmallows at brook's brothers. so now the losers in the media are trying to convince us to eat insects to save the planet. we have to pay extra for the fly in the soup. cnn forced an anchor to force down an cicada on tv. it was her best work. i'm talking about the cicada. wonder what is cooking on cnn

now. >> this is an easy thing to do to save the planet. >> when did cnn become the food network? next up, wolf blitzer has a casserole with a graham cracker crust. now they're turning happy kids to terrified basket cases. this is their poster child. as if acne and snap chat and teachers unions are not enough trouble, they have to worry about the apocalypse. whatever is making kids sick should be mandatory. how is this not bullying? that's the world we live in now. the planet is sick but it's not from climate change. it's sick from lonely media

leftists. can you blame them? yes, you can. >> she's got more grape juices that a house in malibu. sonny johnson. he thinks mayonnaise is too spicy. host of the quiz show on fox nation. he's as uncomfortable as a middle seat in coach between a couple arguing about snacks. it's joe. and she poisoned all of your drinks. fox news contributor kat timpf. sunny is college worth it? >> i didn't go. i don't know. >> greg: you didn't go? >> i got sick my high school year. i spent a entire year trying to

recuperate. by the time it was over, i was in the street. >> greg: and you didn't miss it. >> not a bit. when i had my daughter, i decided to learn something so you can teach this little one that goes to talking about this. you blame the school for it. the school didn't do it. they started with us with captain planet. like back then, if you wanted to be one of the cool ones, you wanted to be a planeteer. they started us very young being petrified that the world would disappear if we department do everything in our power to combat climate change. the funny thing was, none of us wanted to be planeteers. no. we wanted to jump in the money pit. no matter how many times you push the indoctrination, when we get to make the choice, we're always going to choose to jump in the money pit. that is my -- how i should give people comfort. as long as you give capitalism as an option, it will win out.

>> greg: it's so true. so true. instead, what -- they're pushing these people in the woke lane, not the capitalist lane. sooner or later, they have to realize, to your point, the person that created captain planet created cnn. ted turner. right? >> i didn't know that. >> greg: a lot of things you don't know. >> purposely for indoctrination. we think they're trying to entertain. they're not trying to entertain. they're purposely indoctrinating and doing it for decades. >> greg: tom, as a racist, you might find this disturbing. >> i do, greg. [laughter] i think -- obviously the environment is not only important, it's -- it's also paroitic, greg. i was impressed by the iron clad logic of the students. >> i love that girl's reason for

not giving up travel. i travel a lot. you can't argue with that. the environmental movement share add lot with what happened this year with the hysteria over the environment and the hysteria over covid. the same people used the same tactics to scare people. >> greg: i think you're off base. >> i'm not off base. i'm so on base -- >> greg: you can't get me out. >> greg -- >> i guess oppressed when white people start yelling. calm down. >> shame on you for saying covid is real. i make a great point. of course it's real, but the tactics that these totalitarians are using, the shut down of the economy. the environmentalists. they never really chaired about the planet. they care about controlling economies. >> greg: i agree. >> it's leftism. the same people that are trying

to turn us into a health state, what they did is want to shut down the economy. in the bargain, they also want to control our individual health. so they're using the same techniques. i'm right there on base. >> greg: what is interesting, i'm going to edit that all out and replace it with little poodles. you like poodles. >> i love poodles. [laughter] i like to pet poodles and eating marshmallows in brooks brothers. >> greg: is your poodle with a white coat? >> yes. >> greg: are you terrified of the white apocalypse or the kids? >> being a hypocrite is awesome. i've been a hypocrite for some time and i'll tell you what, it's better than not being a hypocrite. you can do things like cancel the keystone pipeline here and support the nord stream pipeline

in europe. you can say that climate change is the most important thing out there and have jeff bezos fly a t-shirt to your horse. >> greg: that is the consequences of explosion of delivery from amazon. i order albums. i don't think about it. they showed up every day like from a magic album theory. >> jeff bezos is a big climate change advocate. he bought a 500 foot yacht. >> how important is it to learn how to say important? >> not at all. i say important and i'm a shining beacon of success. some might say role model. many people look up to me. >> greg: true. >> i hope not. i don't think -- i think it's -- so glad you said something about

thehypocrisy. and the white people that said we need more people of color in these positions but they stay in their positions. i'm not sure it's because chris cuomo, for example, is just doing unparalleled work for the black community. that is so important. nobody else could ever importantly do it. i think where a lot of this comes from is because i don't if they think about it that far. they know that they need to say it so they can actually stay in that position and not be cancelled. how easy is it to do that? the one way where the it was like covid, a lot of people didn't want it to stop because that's the easiest virtual signal an all. you stay home and do nothing. >> wear masks. >> we did you agree with kat and not me? >> greg: you're crazy, tom. a psychopath.

>> i'm moderately hinged. >> greg: that is really important. i learned a lot. up next, are healthcare

>> greg: is the whole system broke? when even the doctors go woke. that's the question posed why writer katie herzog that reveals in a report that wokeness is innovated by medicine. apparently a group of doctors have been meeting on zoom to discuss what is happening in their hospitals and how to fight it. writes herzog, i heard from doctors that have been reported to their doctors for criticizing residents for being late. i heard doctors that stopped giving honest feedback for fear

of retaliation. i've heard clinicians refuse to treat patients because of race or conservative politics. not giving a trainee feedback? picture that. you were late for your shift and people died. but were they white? it gets worse. one e.r. doctor on the west coast, i've heard examples of covid-19 cases where providers say i'm not going to treat that white guy. i'm going to treat the person of color instead because whatever happened to the white guy, he probably deserves it. no racism like anti-racism. i'm not a doctor although that didn't stop me from outfitting my van with an examination table. i carry my reflex hammer with me everywhere. doesn't this race-based behavior violate the hippopotamus oath? that's what it's called. don't laugh, kat.

i needed to verify this for myself so i had my assistant sneak in a hidden camera seeing woke doctors treating a patient. >> i'm sorry to say this. we've run some tests and it's terminal. >> anything i can do, doctor? >> you're white, so no. you're going to die. >> thanks, guys. see you later. no that's better than anything you get from "60 minutes." all right, joe. does this terrify you? >> that was a tough way to find out i was white. >> greg: you found out you were going to die and white at the same time. >> yeah. it was a tough appointment. i think that violated the hippa laws. it should terrify people because that's what they're going for. they're saying you're not individual. you're a group identity and that's how you're going to be judged. some group identities are judged negatively. that's why it's okay to say we

need less acians in college. that's why it's okay to say we can let certain groups get the vaccine later than others. it's scary to think about. >> greg: it is. it's a strange direction, kat. part of the driving force here is i think a fear of being called a racist. so that is actually bigger than fear itself. i think i came up with that. >> yes. you should make a meme. a meme page. >> greg: that's nice. >> yeah. you hear about this stuff and you find yourself thinking i hope i'm lucky enough to die in a horrific accident and not be denied medical care. we've seen things coming out of campuses, being teached in schools and teaching that meritocracy is white supremacy. it will start to bleed over to places that you need objectivity. like you have cancer or you do not have cancer.

but this fear is so paralyzing of not wanting to be called racist. a lot of people agree it's wrong. the vast majority of people agree it's wrong. you can see how easily how people can be cancelled. they don't want to be cancelled. they want to keep doctoring it up. so they feel like they have no choice. >> greg: tom, you're an angry white male. so you might have a thought on this. there's over 250,000 people die from medical errors every year. what if they weren't errors, tom? what if they weren't? >> that's why i'm once again ahead of my time. >> yes. >> because i didn't believe in science when it wasn't woke. >> here we go. >> greg: you're the best. >> you're going to watch the show and this could be your face and your comments will be gone. >> i never believed experts, greg. they have a specific set of skills like the liam knee sen

movie. his daughter didn't like him until she got human trafficked. >> greg: that's a good point. >> experts are good at one thing. so i don't listen to them. i rule my own life and they can deal with the petri dishes. >> greg: you're like a loan hero in the wilderness. completely [bleep] crazy. sunny, i'm an idiot. i thought this stuff was going to live in the aquarium of academia and wouldn't bleed out in the real world. but it's main street if it's in the hospitals. >> first, i defend black people. when we're polled, we don't believe in this [bleep], this is totally white people stuff. this is how white people use to bully other white people. leave us out of it?

why bring us? we didn't do it. this is white people arguing and bullying other white people. keep it that way. i learned a lesson this week that should put everybody to ease. get over it. doesn't matter you can go through this for 100 years and wouldn't do a single thing to your community. you can withstand this, continually over and over. every single sector of your life. it is not going to have one single effect on your community 100 years from now. so get over it. that's what i'm told every time i bring it up in from falsehood to the -- none of that matters. it doesn't equate to anything over time. so calm down. calm down. you can deal with a little racism. it's not going to hurt you. >> greg: it's white on white racism. >> hey. we can't do that yesterday. you know what i'm saying?

you pretend. it's more ya'll doing it to yourself, not us. >> greg: yes, yes. i'm a little -- i'm skeptical about the quotes. there were two on the nose. little bit too on the nose. but if it's half right, it's scary. half scary. like tom without a shirt. still to come, did all of

♪ i'll be seeing you ♪ ♪ in all the old familiar places ♪

♪ that this heart of mine embraces ♪ ♪ all day through ♪ ♪ i'll find you in the morning sun ♪ ♪ and when the night is new ♪ ♪ i'll be looking at the moon ♪ ♪ and i'll be seeing you ♪ careful dear, loose sleeves and scarves can easily catch fire. thanks mom. no! dad don't strain. just put it in a burn pile, here. no sweetheart, i don't want my pants to catch on fire. fires should be contained and at a distance. i'm just going to move this a little bit closer. no! space heaters need space. the curtains could catch fire. how do you know all this stuff? ♪♪

no! space heaters need space. the curtains c♪♪ld catch fire. ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ >> greg: what did obama know about ufos? a new government report is keeping the unidentified in unidentified flying objects. u.s. officials say they found no evidence that the weird things that fighter pilots have been seeing are alien space craft. they say they can't rule it out either. way to take a stand.

on video, the strange opens moved in ways that defied open and plummeted 40,000 miles per hour. sounds like cnn ratings. former president barack obama was recently asked about the subject on the notion of aliens were proving to be real. he asserted that there would be immediate arguments like we need to spend more money on weapon systems to defend ourselves. any religions would pop up and who knows what kind of arguments we would get into. interesting. initials said none of the 120 incidents were the work of the u.s. military although they have not ruled out russia or china. if china says they're not responsible, their word is good enough for me. kat, you trite to get abducted and they declined. they are fairly astute about qualify human life. >> i'm a quality human. if i'm not, that's a huge reflection on your judgment. [laughter]

so i think that the ufo thing is a thing. aliens are probably out there, maybe. why wouldn't there be? the government says oh, maybe, maybe not. they don't know what they're talking about. >> greg: they couldn't figure out a virus. >> exactly. would that be weird? we're weird. we suck. freaks and geeks was cancelled because it couldn't compete with who wants to be a millionaire? they're probably out there and don't want to hang out. >> still defending james franco. >> not at all. i'm -- i was too old for him ten years ago. >> greg: perfect. so joe, i want to throw out my reoccurring theory that if there happens to be alien life forms and they're delicious and nutritious, it's our responsibility to harvest and eat them because we eat our fellow earthlings.

cows, chickens and lambs. if they're delicious, it's on us to eat them. that is my theory. i think that like i would go to war over this theory, joe. so i don't know why i'm talking. you have been abducted. >> greg, aliens think i'm representative of the human race. joke is on them. i would eat an alf burger. you're on to something. i question if they don't know what it is, how can they say what it isn't? it's also interesting one day we're reading fauci's e-mails and then it's china's ufo. >> greg: you think it's a distraction? >> i think they're distracting you from the robots. that's what i think. i think they have thrown you off

the scent of the robot. when the robot invasion starts, you won't be prepare. >> it's true. i probably would have done something on robots tonight. if it wasn't for the space alien. >> this is my husband kind of thing. i would think that once they come out and they like -- we think we have aliens. it's like oh, let's find out about the aliens. no, let's watch the aliens on the history channel. they're giving you actual footage of things you don't know what it is. but in the 13th century, that disc might have been an alien. you're looking at that instead. goes to show you we thought would be so excited. people think we're going to area 51. they're telling you they're here now and nobody is blinking an eye. >> greg: i figured it out.

it has to to with robots. when you she the ufos, they're like blips in a simulation. the simulation is created by a.i. robots. we're just a simulation run by a.i. robots. you notice the holes in the movie screens. like the holes in your very soul that i can see. i can see your holes, tom. >> i get it. i understand. [laughter] >> this shows you how little i trust the government at this point. i have never been in to aliens, never believe in space men and never like the x files. yesterday the came out with a government saying none of these independent duets show -- it's like the aliens are here. they're here. i believe the opposite. i have never believed in them really. my working idea is that if

aliens to exist, they're jerks. just shoot them out of the school. >> can we give a few earthlings up? i would pick a couple of them over others. >> greg: the democratic party. >> neil: nice red meat there, greg. >> greg: serve that up. the thing is, they put out a statement saying nobody fly your things. we'll shoot them down. then see what it is when it's shot down. >> greg: yes. what if it's the bubble boy? the bubble boy. remember that one? is that what his name was? boo loan boy. i ruined that. up next, do

>> greg: are laws getting passed while politicians are smashed? in the connecticut, they're treating the government lining drunks at last call. i was drunk when they passed the tax increase is an excuse they can no longer use. probably they don't want clips from state rep robin comey. >> understand that she was able to -- i'm sorry. >> greg: i've been there, lady. it's the wine i had at dinner. do lawmakers need a lesson about boozing while in session? let's check in on an expert. ♪♪

never invite shannon bream to your halloween party. kat, this is a dumb question but have you ever gotten drunk at work? >> no. i take my job seriously. even though my decisions don't affect all of the people in connecticut. >> greg: joe, i suppose your pro politicians getting drink. you think they'll be better. >> yes. we drink on the happy hour on fox nation while you're allowed to drink while on the job. >> greg: i didn't know that. >> we drink real cocktails. it's a paid service. >> greg: i had no include. i should be there. >> that's when you do the show, you can drink. >> greg: i'm now going on your show. sunnie, does this help them or hurt them? >> i hope it exposes them. anybody that has been to a political conference after hours

and seeing how these people act, maybe you would stop thinking that they're going to do something that helps the country. if you saw them when they know that, you know, nobody is looking or they got some privacy, you would not be turning over the legislation of your country to these people. >> greg: yeah, we think they're people, joe. what do you make of it? >> depend on how much you drink. find that sweet speed that you're more confident to debate but not to where i randomly start crying. >> greg: so true. the solution is to be slightly drunk. make that your baseline. nobody knows it. just assume you're loose and funn

>> greg: welcome back! let's find out if we got anything wrong this week. for that, we go to our show's ombudsman steve jr. we learned a lot about board game safety. steve, how did we do this week? >> yes, greg.

my safe word yahtzee. roll it. >> greg: if you replaced the names with greek letters, are you stigmatizing the greeks? haven't they had enough stigmatism? >> democracy on us. >> greg: yes. they used to do the olympics nude, pete. >> they did. >> greg: i think they did. i'm sure i read that somewhere. >> turns out that you're partially right. a nude competition may have started after one guy lost his loin cloth. >> greg: so the partially nude, i was partially correct. >> there you go.

today's athletes don't compete naked. so next time you have me over to watch your olympic wrestling videos, just know that i know they're supposed to be wearing clothes. okay. we have to move on. kat, let's take a look at what you said earlier this week about veterans. if you would, please. >> look, i married a veteran. i'm now half veteran. >> greg: doesn't work that way. she's got half of a bronze star. >> yeah. >> well, kat, i have news for you. you're not half veteran but you are full of [bleep]. >> you know, i'm so glad that you and so many people on the internet brought that up to me. because i was not joking. i definitely 100% believe and been walking around saying i'm half veteran because i believed once i got married i became half

a veteran. i was being very, very, very serious. i was having people thank me for my service. i don't know if i would have married him at all the i didn't know that was the case. >> it's not all bad news. spouses may qualify for certain benefits like health care, life insurance or money to help pay for school. so there are options out there for you. [laughter] >> greg: quarter veteran. >> quarter veteran. >> hopefully the government will allow you to get with somebody you really are happy with. but it's still illegal to marry yourself. >> greg: joe, are you there? >> i'm here. >> good to see you. in the a block, you mentioned jeff bezos 500 foot super yacht costing $500 million.

according to bloomberg, it's 417 feet long and doesn't include the cost of the mini yacht. so if you add the mini yacht to the super yacht, it's 500 feet and -- >> true. >> this discussion we're having right now, you have set sale on a sea of lies. this b.s. ain't going to float. >> you don't want them to cancel your internet. >> that's it. please, jeff. lastly, hey, we got to bring it home. greg, let's look at your discussion with kat about fauci's leaked e-mails. mike, take us home. >> i don't care if they're calling you tony mcorgy downtown. go ahead. >> greg: by the way, tony

mcorgy -- >> your nickname. >> greg: no it's an excellent irish bar. >> a secret knock. >> i can find no record of a bar in new york or anywhere for that matter called tony mcorgy. and now with a number of times i've googled that name, i'm on a government watch list. >> greg: it's an illegal speak easy. >> there's good news for you, greg. according to a very reputable site, urbandictionary.com, an mcorgy is a double cheeseburger, a mcchicken sandwich together inside two bones. >> greg: seriously? >> yeah. i'm loving it. >> greg: that's something to get into. >> we're not going to talk about that here. i'm out of town. i have to go. see you lawyer. >> greg: thanks, steve phoenix jr.

don't go anywhere. we'll be right back.

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♪ ♪ >> greg: before we go, let's do this. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> greg: as a world-famous celebrity, i run into a lot of famous people. you won't believe what i saw relaxing at home last night, there is famed films are jared leto just kicking back, enjoying a snack. he's had some great challenging roles lately, i think he actually might've won and oscar. he deserves the rest, hairy little vulgar. congrats. and where some pants, disgusting. it set your dvrs every night so he never miss an episode,

john mackey, cat -- our lovely studio audience, shannon bream is next. i'm greg gutfeld, and i love you, america. ♪ ♪ [applause] ♪ ♪ >> jesse: hello, everyone, i'm jesse. 5:00 in new york city, and this is "the five." ♪ ♪ crime surging across the country. but there goes the plan to solve the problem. stop building jails. >> these blaming bill a form is not evidence-based. there's no fax data to back it

up. it is n a