if you want something in life, go get it. i'm living proof of it. i had this conversation in the courtroom the other day. we all had choices once. >> laura: america now has a choice. submit to the racial arsonists on the left or take our country back. that's all the time we have tonight. greg gutfeld is next. >> it's everywhere this morning. asking what his fellow billionaires in the race have to say. jeff bezos will blast into orbit next month. a rocket. it's because they call blue origin. [laughter] does that look a little wonky? >> greg: i don't know what they are talking about. or why i am holding this banana. [applause] ♪ ♪

>> greg: oh, man, another day, another wedding proposal. this time in kansas city. do you see that? i hope he doesn't think i'm going to live there. a stranger pleads for my hand in matrimony, but by the looks of him he may just want the hand and nothing else. this is now the second request by the same suitor. and still no way to contact him. if you don't want to contact me directly, then have your parole officer dme. but it's good to know i lead late night talk show hosts. it's like my mother used to say, you don't attract bees with vinegar. there's no excuse for feeding bees and vinegar. it's kind of like the summit

between our president and vladimir putin, or vlad. how is that for a transition? caitlyn jenner is like, nice. speaking of, she's doing the show next week. she confirmed. which is great, because ivan seen her since we took that dance class. [applause] putin remained as cool, joe was as defensive as when my wife finds me googly and head gear. joe making it through the whole trip without breaking his hip on a staircase is something we can be proud of. this is the same routine that impresses no one but a fan a fan girly media. it's fun for them, they get to

fly to geneva, mixed ambien, and wake up in a time zone with their pants on their heads. shut out to acosta. let's talk about the dumbest thing a president has ever done since fdr tried to jump at the white house pool. yesterday, joe biden told us what he said to putin about cyber attacks. it's amazing. >> talks about how they should be off-limits to attack him a period. and i gave them a list, 16 specific entities. 16 defined as critical infrastructure under u.s. policy. from the energy sector to our water systems. >> greg: i am dumbstruck. so dumbstruck, in fact, that i believe i could now host the view and play all five parts.

he acts like this is an achievement. he tells putin what's off-limits for attack. does that suggest that everything not on that list is on limits? putin is the perfect defense if he wants to enact. i'm sorry, it wasn't on the lis. i went through the list because -- is it available for everyone to see? it's on the csi website, so we could all look at it. there's a lot there that joe didn't put in there, like, fox news or my duplex. but don't we see how we are this is to give your adversary boundaries? like he's your dominatrix. me, but no tickling. it's like a mobster who was about to be whacked, but just as killers, please, not in the face. which guarantees him a closed

casket. asking bullies nicely doesn't even work against chrissy teagan. i wonder how the angry white male sees this. ♪ ♪ >> i guess that makes sense. you make a list, ask for what you want. my wife does that with me. see, milk, eggs, light bulbs. done. you want to got to do something, you make a list, and he will stick to it. then again, i'm not an evil dictator. ♪ ♪ >> greg: that list is like living a note on your front door as you leave for vacation: robbers, if you think of breaking in, do not target the safe or the white diamonds in the bedroom dresser, and most important, do not check the

container in the basement, that's where we keep walt disney's head." how could you be so clueless to give a world leader a list of our vulnerabilities? putin is the president of russia, not your shrink. now i got it, the list is generic and obvious. so is applebee's menu, but i'm still gonna try few things. there is this mention of dams. who knew you could hack a. but now we all do. thanks, joe. and who thought of making this list in the first place? can you imagine the brainstorming meeting. hey, the boss asked us to come up with demands for putin. i have an idea, they've been launching cyber attacks, let's give them a list on what not to cyber attack. that should solve the problem. and here we thought hires for the sake of diversity was worthless. and what did he expect as putin's response?

i'm going to have to rethink our plan to attack these places. did the bite and stop think that would start a negotiation? here are the 16 places we would like you not to target. oh, thank you president biden, we will back off on the post office. we would still like to target the critical manufacturing. oh, okay, mr. putin. that's progress. we've gone from mr. gorbachev tear down this wall to please mr. putin don't attack this firewall. look, i'm no presidential historian. i collect toes from drifters. but i don't know -- i do know i should've confessed that. but we know biden is weak and putin is not. we also know putin has always been in charge while we change leaders every 4-8 years. he's bill belichick and we are

the new york jets changing head coaches constantly. see, i know baseball, kat peered he gets to sit back and grin as the new guy and he's correctly thinking, why buy the cow and if you don't get the pipeline for free. biden comes off as human resources telling putin to stop flirting openly with china, all the while our media swoons over biden. [laughs] did you see biden's performance? it was like jordan, brady, and gretzky, but way better. to speak out like abraham lincoln being lifted up by a choir of angels, except way, way, so much better. >> putin -- will he ever be able to ride a horse again? >> he won't even be able to think of the word horse. >> did you see when he put his shades on at the end?

>> so hot. >> it was. >> greg: putin got a pipeline and we came home empty-handed. poor joe, he didn't even get to sniff anyone's hair. maybe next time. [applause] let's welcome tonight's guests. she is so southern, she washes her pickup truck wh gravy. fox anchor dagen mcdowell. he's the senior editor who looks like a senior in high school, associate editor robbie sauve as tomei. they say draws for the job you want, so you must want to be a bookkeeper at fox news radio host, jim italia. and her mood is like the price

of bitcoin, fox news contributor kat. thank you for being on the show, you filled in at the very last minute. she claimed that she had a book to write. she could make it because she had a book. >> you've got to use explosive diarrhea as an excuse. >> greg: if you are going to lie, come up with a big, good lie. like i have a serious illness and the family or explosive diarrhea. but saying "i've got a book to write?" we all write books. and i'm still here, lady. it's out of my system. i'm never going to tell you who that person is. i'm joking. so what did you think of biden's list? >> i thought it was absolutely absurd, but there was part of the summit that i did love. when he popped off on that cnn reporter. because we get a little sliver, a little glimpse into the way

that his mind works. so i want that. that was what was great about president trump. he was so unpredictable when dealing with these evil tyrants, right? so i want to see the joe biden who goes to call somebody -- who knows what he's capable of? he's got the nuclear football. so he would be -- where? i said mango lemonade! what are you looking at? >> greg: you are talking about joe biden if he doesn't have a knack. that's what they've got to do, they've got to keep that away from the old guy. that sounded like something you give someone who's taking care of your dog while you are away for the week. that's not a putin. >> it reminded me of the saddam hussein thing. you can look anywhere in my country for nuclear weapons, but not one of my 100 palaces please. >> greg: also i think it doesn't matter because putin is

not going to do whatever, it could be a list of a thousand things. what can biden or anyone else do? you can do whatever he wants and he doesn't care. that's a problem for our foreign policy. so why do we do this when we know? why do we bother? why don't we send a nice email? >> then what would the media have to celebrate? no plane rides to geneva, no prescriptions for ambien. if you know what i mean. jimmy, good to see you found a jacket off of a dead drifter. >> again. this is actually my oldest guy in the boy band look. they want to fire me, but they can't because i'm the only one with the i.d. to get beer. so they have to keep me around. >> greg: you are like the transient on the blog. >> the new transient on the block. the guy i feel the worst for in this whole summit is the translator. because he's got to take what both men are saying and convert

it to english. that's very hard to do. >> greg: nicely done. >> but this is scary to me, because you got to think about what we are talking about. we are talking about cybersecurity. their site has the former head of the kgb. our site has a guy who's trying to figure out why his vcr is flashing 12:00. i'm scared. like, i'm legitimately bothered by this, as i know you are. this is the problem we are in. world leaders don't take their cue from the media. the media tells you all, this guy is as sharp as a tack. like that cnn video we just played. world leaders watch that and died laughing peered the odds of them taking biden seriously ever again are like 8 million to one. >> greg: it lasted approximately three hours, almost two hours longer than your honeymoon. >> i didn't do a honeymoon, i took off one day for my wedding, you are welcome. i will be taking a month off

eventually. i think lists in general get far greater of a reputation than they deserve. for anything. i forget stuff a lot. like traveling, i forget things. and lest you forget to write it on the list. i don't even think that they are reliable for groceries or going through they are going to the airport. >> greg: boy, that's embarrassing. what if you bring the wrong cream? and the tsa guy is going wow. >> lists are good. i keep a list of grudges going back to second grade. it's because she does, she does. >> greg: my grudge list grew by one tonight. thought the new -- >> it's a punk band. >> greg: it's a new flavor for vitamin water. you know what? we have to go. i know you had a joke coming to

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♪ ♪ >> greg: follow the signs, they said. while they while they knowingly misled. a scientist recently published a letter calling for a closer look into the covid lab leak theory is now admitting why she and some colleagues didn't speak out sooner. trump. a genetic engineer who works at mit and hartford, which means unlike jimmy, she can read. she told nbc news that her and her colleagues were discussing the lab leak series thinking that their words would be

labeled racist. she is more concerned with the potential bogus accusation than admitting lacking integrity now. but now they can speak out, because they no longer risk aligning with trump. at the time, it was scared to be associated with trump. so people didn't want to publicly leak call for investigation into the lab origins. so there you have it, the science changes based on who the media thinks is a racist. now when you hear scientists changing to and from a no way to a yeah may be, including guys like sachi, just know it's not scientific, it's purely political. so in other words, if trump were still president they would still be biting their lips pretending to search the planet for a guilty looking pangolin. but i guess it's nice of them to finally admit it a year later. what it's like my 95-year-old alan cole used to say, better late than never. he just got on grinder.

very excited, very excited. so another example of how media narratives are so destructive, because media narratives can make the population think something is false. but in this case, they actually control the signs. the media narrative [bleep] up the signs. >> these were the people saying all along, follow the signs beer they were making all sorts of political decisions regarding what narrative they prefer. but also, i just don't agree. even with their idea that the lab leak theory is going to come if you embrace the outcome it's going to lead to racism, more than the wet market theory. if there is one thing, and obviously there should be no racism against asian people regardless of the truth, but if you're going to pick the one that bar impugns a broader tradition -- the lab leak just -- >> greg: and america! we fund it.

i would understand running from the lab leak because it implicates us and makes lawsuits harder. if you go for the lab leak, you can say its chinese culture or whatnot. but you are absolutely right. here's my question before you launch into one of your one liners. this is what irks me. even if you buy into this silly concept that trump is racist for saying -- you can't call yourself a scientist if that belief prevents you from doing signs. >> what's so infuriating about it is that no one can actually show any correlation between hate crimes and consuming the idea that it's of lab leak. to be clear and new york we've had some horrific videos where a homeless guy come allege it was just out of jail for the 40th time, punches an asian woman. it's awful, we all condemn it, but something tells me the guy

who sleeps at penn station isn't watching -- i'm going out on a limb. >> greg: if you actually interview the people who are attacking these asian, elderly, male, female scum asked them where the idea came from? >> i'm so sick of this. what the democrats keep doing is pounding the table. pound, pound, pound. it should drive everyone in the country crazy. and it's disgusting peered when they say oh, we are going to let the world health organization figured out. really? then we are going to let o.j. find the real killer's prayer the world health organization doesn't care. they sell out china. >> greg: layoff o.j., he served his time.

since this isn't even a corrupt practice. it shows you that even scientists will restrict their speech out of fear. this is actually canceled culture, not of people or careers. but cancel of actual signs. >> right. and it's not like it doesn't matter where the blame lies. oh, it's done, whatever. it could happen again. so i think it's pretty important that we figure out what happened so it doesn't happen again. and you know, millions more people don't die. >> greg: right. >> that should be -- when it's a matter of life and death, that should be the most important thing. at least that's what i always thought. >> apparently you thought wrong. >> greg: what's more important? being perceived as an ally to trump or saving the lives of hundreds of thousands of people? >> i think saving like 4 million

lives. >> greg: you hate asian people! i hope you are happy. you have blood on your hands. >> to pick up on what you are saying, literally to be cool with other scientists -- >> greg: they are nerds already! rather than being on the side of science, to be cool with the scientists, they just had to hate this one dude. that just makes zero sense to me. >> this is a psychotic break. this is far and above the psychosis that we witnessed on cnn and msnbc. >> greg: this makes lori lightfoot look sane. >> because they were like, i think maybe the virus came from the lab of viruses. they would call you a racist. boyfriend comes home with a broad stuck to his foot and you say, i think it might've been with someone else. he's like, you don't trust me! >> greg: how dare you, you are

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♪ ♪ >> greg: they are replacing the capped walkers with woke-talkers. amid criticism of her lack of diversity in the models, but now announcing something way better, guys bid the podcast series featuring diverse spokeswoman telling their stories. because if your underwear can't preach it to you, they will. turns out victoria secret was being afraid of the far left. the spokeswoman will include indian actress priyanka chopra jonas. soccer player/lgbt advocate, mag an end. and transgender model. unlike me, none of the women will be posing in lingerie.

when the branch chief executive was asked about the brand angels were turning, he said simply, right now i don't see it as being culturally relevant and ran away and hid under a rock. so to recap, this is what victoria's secret used to be. ♪ ♪ and this is how it's going to be from now on. [booing] it's true. and i'm talking about the sabbatical nature of it. kat, you know it kills me about this? they are playing woke 48 paycheck after being paid for by a company that they normally hate. but they realize -- if they'd

just disapprove, why would they offer to do this podcast? >> victoria secret's problem was never hot ladies. they're like i got it, a woke podcast that we sponsor. the fashion show, who cares but i never watched it, because i wanted -- but some people dead, they enjoyed it. nobody's going to listen to this podcast. there's already too many podcasts. we don't need any more podcasts. and underwear doesn't need a podcast. >> greg: more, less podcasts. so jimmy, this is exactly how virtue signaling looks. what do you do? you throw your whole brand under the bus to embrace this new shield of wokism.

that is sexist. lingerie is the patriarchy, let's do this but let's find the people on twitter who are really interesting. speak i like the title of the podcasts. i believe it's called "chapter 11." >> greg: nice. [applause] >> no one is listening to this. every woke initiative is a shakedown. were going to do this virtuous thing, but by the way, we're going to get money. the corporation gets credit and somebody else shows up. this is what everybody needs to know. there's nothing wrong with having something people like. do what you are good at. it reminds me of mcdonald's making healthy food but nobody goes to mcdonald's to eat healthy. it's like hiring a to snuggle. stick with your current job.

>> worker. >> exactly. it's because she got $48,000 for that. i hate that they are doing this. victoria's secret -- what whirring they in the market up? there was nothing less attractive than activism. >> what you think of climate change? i think it's changing the song and getting out of here. >> i only have sex while watching michael more documentaries. >> greg: megan, what is your thought is a vibrant, lovely woman. i've to stay with in my boundaries, so i don't end up in human resources. >> this company started going down the tubes because they overlooked the brawl at end sports bra trend. >> greg: i had no idea prayer they overlooked flat trusted chd women. >> doesn't everyone.

>> secondly, i use to cover this fashion show. i've been back stage with these women peered all this company needed to do to be inclusive with all women is to show what these women look like before they diet, before the fashion show, and photograph them and blocked all my broad daylight. because they all have cellulite. they are skinny, but they've got weird, big faces. one eye is bigger than the other one. they've got big horse smiles when you get up close. >> greg: it you are me. >> and they're all in underwear because one going that way and the other is going the other way. >> greg: you are talking about my dream woman. i was wanted -- no, robbie, is

there anything that hasn't been said in the segment that you can add to it? >> my grandparents are watching currently, so i think i will just sit out of this conversation. >> greg: come on! >> the podcast is going to be a terrible idea. why does every company have to have a viewpoint at all? >> greg: exactly. >> if i wanted to hear a viewpoint, i would go to a magazine or a think tank or something. my organization has a viewpoint, this channel has viewpoints, but we are also not trying to sell underwear. >> greg: i should start selling underwear. maybe fox nation has boxers. [applause] >> they want my underwear! not after i use it. still ahead, hunter biden and jeffrey toobin are back in the news. the battle for biggest sleaze ball continues.

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♪ ♪ >> greg: we've got more news on hunter in the tubes. which means it's time for got fouled's pervert alert. take cover immediately. [laughs] hunter once refused to date because of his own asian hate. i duly recovered text conversation and his cousin, this is a strange relationship, shows him using racial slurs. between him and his dad, they have the interred united nations covered here. in the 2019 exchange, he offers to set them up with one of his friends to which hunter replies, no yellow. maybe he didn't like cabdrivers. the texts were found on the very laptop the media told didn't

exist. and they read like the screenplay for jango unchanged. which i never saw, so i don't get the joke. speaking of things getting exposed, at a party for brian seltzer's new book, the title of the book "please don't talk about my ratings." is there any party worse than that party? i would say the dahmer party, but at least they had better hors d'oeuvres. too soon? that happened like 100 years ago. it's cannibalism, it's fun. i condemned cannibalism! many of cnn's anchors were at the party, which raises the question, did the viewer notice? cingular, you got that? toobin himself told them it's in the past, people have moved on. it sounds like somebody cleared

their browser history. but if reputation mattered at cnn, chris cuomo would be sent home faster than a kid with headlights. it's like my dad a wayside, when we found that thursday, lost hitchhiker. i get the watch come you get the boots. we found a lot of hitchhikers back in the day. so here's the million dollar question. >> various times in my life -- [laughter] sorting through the wreckage there. >> your vulnerability. >> thank you. hunter biden should stick to doing what he does best. his brother's widow. he is a garbage person. and i'm sick -- he's a garbage person. again, besides that, he would ruin a team volga member.

the point is, okay, they have ruined people's lives over using the n-word. one of their own is legit texting like they are paying him by the usage. they turned a blind eye. and the excuse they show, he's not in power. neither was anybody at "teen vogue" or in a sorority that got their life destroyed. but if got to say, i am shocked. he wouldn't expect that kind of language from a guy whose father eulogized a clan member. so surprising. but yes, it's embarrassing. the media has no shame. robbie, what does it say when the most famous person at your book party is famous for publicly? >> i have a controversial view on this, i know because i tweeted it and everybody yelled at me. i'm ready to forgive and i actually hate the people at "new york magazine," or the new yorker, i can't remember which. but his coworker will leaked the

story. we are talking about this because -- and i hate people in workplaces when they are like, i now have to tell my friends in the media about this bad thing that happened to me peer that is the reason we know about the story, and i wish we didn't. >> my only caveat for that, and i actually do think that is much as i don't like the guy, i do think you deserve some forgiveness, if he's telling the truth. i don't know who he was pleasuring himself to. if he was off doing something else consensually. >> but also during the pandemic we decided work is now going to being 24 hours later, you are always on camera, always on some meeting for that kind of sucked. >> obviously he screwed up and he sorry and i'm ready to move on. that being said, i'm never doing a zoom with robbie sauve as. >> greg: at wow. i don't know if you focused on it, but the weird relationship with him and that girl. do you want to comment on that? >> quickly, i have never texted

with my cousin al, do you want to bang this girl? do you want to bang this girl? >> greg: oh, that one has kids. that is weird. it's really weird. it's weird, and i'm jealous. [laughter] >> it reads like -- that he's paying. it reads like that these are sex workers. >> greg: you know what it me of? the party girls that you would do drugs with and their widow's be that other thing going on and it would be a combination -- and maybe he knows these people. >> i'm just speculating, but it makes me uncomfortable because they are like objects.

women are objectified, but this is just terrific, reading it. you are doing this whole lineup of these and it just reminds me of like, well, history. and you asked him who would you rather be? the question is always who would you rather do. and i know. >> who would you rather -- >> greg: stop at! we are going to edit that out. >> i'm saying that toobin must be happy that hunter biden stayed in the news, because toobin looks like brad pitt. >> do you think he was drinking at the party? based on his behavior, i don't think he needs any help lowering his innovations. >> everybody was happy to see toobin, but no one shook his hand for some reason. >> greg: they were looking at what he was picking up the hors d'oeuvre tray. force of habit i guess. get it, because they are little?

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>> greg: their biggest dread is going to hit the head. the outcome of the drill sergeant controls their fate, but they fret over when to. my second favorite times after medieval, the number one concern when is the best time to go number two. i would've said number three. apparently tons of recruits have hit message boards to ask about the bathroom situation. one of the most common pieces of advice? go after dark. rogue one responded, poop at night. usually you will get messed with, but they will still let you go. talk about being relieved of your duty. all right, we have to be quick

on this, i totally got this, i'm probably older than everybody here. robbie. but when i had to register for the draft, this was my big fear. reading the story, which i never would have read on my own. i just kept thinking, how awful it would have been to live in any other sentry before now. not only would you be dying, but there is no toilet paper and there -- you have to... fill your way to the outhouse or something. and then you would die. >> greg: think about the trenches. i mean, i am such a high gene -- he would know it by the way i look, but i am clean.

oliver, jimmy. as a cabdriver, yes, this is your primal concern is traffic in a bathroom. if you ever get in the cab, you notice everyone is drinking a double xl coffee, but there's never coffee in the cup. he basically just bring a bathroom with you everywhere you go. but if you are not comfortable going to the bathroom outside, you are never going to fit in and san francisco. >> true. >> greg: if you to an new york city, you are accused cultural appropriation. kat, when you are walking down times square and you see these bottles, these yellow bottles, beware. because when a car drives and runs over it, you get the whole thing on your face. am i going to far with this? >> i've never thought about that. i've always just thought -- i just ate you and i continue along my day. i'm glad you seem to be thinking of bathroom stuff all the time. >> greg: can we talk about

jeffrey toobin again? [laughter] joe, it's almost midnight. this is the kind of topic you should be covering at midnight. overcoming fears. you get this on the special report. >> my mother, she saying, don't talk about it. don't talk about it. but robbie over here needs to get out more. you've never been camping, buddy. he forgot to pack it out. you've got to pack it out. >> clamping, have you ever heard of clamping. it's when you bring the whole trailer that has -- >> i know, i know. >> it would be a great name for a suppository. >> greg: i tried to invented, but it didn't quite work out. you know what? i love this topic more than all of you can find. and all make me sick.

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>> greg: set your dvr so you never miss an episode. thinks to dagen mcdowell, kit, kat timpf. "fox news @ night" with evil shannon bream. i'm greg gutfeld and i love you, america. ♪ ♪ >> shannon: hello and welcome to "fox news @ night." i am shannon bream in washington. breaking tonight: the u.s. supreme court decision in favor of a catholic group that said it was discriminated on the basis of its religious belief. backlash from the left. 100 national guard soldiers on standby right now in