without that type of hyperbole about present-day america, people who disagree with his vision of it, his money just dries up. gone. they always have to take it to the next level of insult. don't forget to set your dvr every weeknight at 10:00 p.m. eastern zoo never mess us. greg gutfeld takes it all from here. >> looking ahead to 2020, one of the reasons i'm taking you seriously as a contender is because of your presence on cable news. i don't think you seem that creepy, but that's just me. >> greg: it's because they're both creepy. and he just got 30 months in jail but how's that for reliable? ♪ ♪ [applause] what a thursday.

we've got quite a panel here this evening. look who has joined us. jesse watters. he is our favorite man on the street, but sometimes we wish we had left him there. his hair is like an extension cord. thick, dark, and full of plugs. yes, but he is here tonight. it's amazing what you will do when you're trying to sell a book. speak out your. >> greg: he tried to sell me one in the bathroom. today when you have mouths to feed on massages, any port in a storm. but at least you write your book. unlike kill me. you know who wrote his, right? but jesse's book is a wild success finally giving him one that he can point to in his life other than lettering and lacrosse at the bride. there she has.

i can never remember her if she has a dog or not. but to her credit, she's capping a long day of work from 9:00 a.m. to midnight tonight. god, how lucky is her husband? peter, take out the garbage. peter, wipe your feet. peter, that is jasper's chair. can you imagine what peter is doing tonight right now when she's not home? [bleep]. [laughter] >> greg: he's very proud of that evening. god only knows what jasper's doing when you are not there, dana.

>> greg: at least he wiped. he's been on fox so many times maybe he should host fox news prime time. i mean, have you seen some of the scrubs they have on there? also on the show tonight, david asman. [applause] charles payne canceled. i kid, i kid. as many of the regular over at fox business, you know how they have mornings with maria? they were planning on evenings with as men, but it was just one letter away from a movie i made in taiwan. it's the tenth anniversary of

the five. [applause] to put it in language that kat understands, that is ten years. or the answer her husband gives when asked what it feels like to be married first kat for three months. it's a big deal. like brian stelter without a chamber, surviving ten years and cable isn't normal. i want you to think about the image. mtv didn't even play music that long. a book of the five" is like one of the super old japanese ladies. they just found out they became 120 years old, and everyone wants to know her secret. but it turns out she can't count. i don't know if that's a good thing. but think about all the stuff that "the five" outlasted. hummingbirds, green frogs, koala bears, hedgehogs. you have to get all their average life spans.

"the five" is greater. we also beat these shows, a whole bunch of them. in your face, "will & grace." seriously, who expected a reboot of that to work? what's next, the alleged reboot of covid. debra messing could play the delta variant. yeah, we outlasted shows with bigger shows, better staffs, and better drugs. at fox, we are lucky if we can snort crushed i believe in the green room bathroom. in case you need a refresher of how great the five's, here is a montage. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> i want to get greg and here. >> greg. >> greg. >> greg. >> greg, take us home. >> greg, go. >> greg, i'm going to you next. >> greg. >> lets go, greg. >> greg. let's bring in our constitutional scholar, greg gutfeld. >> greg, i'm glad we are friends

again. >> greg. >> thank you, greg. [applause] >> greg: how many women does that guy get? okay, identify as women. but there is a very unique role that the five plays today. it's a live show in which people speak their minds. which is dangerous these days as walking a tightrope between two skyscrapers. we have been at the forefront of canceled culture pit we saw it coming because it came to us early on. in this day and age, there's a cottage industry based on the dopamine hit one gets from attacking strangers. on twitter, people wait to pounce on us for saying something honest. because honesty is what gets you in trouble. you ever noticed that cnn, msnbc, abc, these anchors never get into trouble? i mean, with her pants on.

even while the late-night shows kept quiet, we didn't. we took it on. and we keep at it every day. we show up and none of us bite our tongues, except maybe day now. you should hear her profanity laced rants about immigrants and the green room. i had no idea they were so many curse words that rhymes with guatemalans. but the reason for the five's success and fox's success and the show's success is risk. we are taking a risk every day to tell you the truth, especially when the truth is under fire. it's attributed to the audience who supports us. it's a predict about how the media reacts to new fox shows. it happens with "the five" ten years ago and it happens with this show today. the recipe is always the same. a press release announces the show, haters tune into trash it. ironically, the same things the fans love about it. and then the haters go away and the fans stay. and michelle becomes a hit and it runs for thousands of

episodes. tonight our first block is dedicated to "the five." let's welcome tonight's guests. she reaches for the stars, but she will be lucky to read the shelf. dana brito. he never joined a fraud, he has the fraud. the five oh host jesse watters. he spent a decade as a journalist, but we won't hold that against him. fox business anger, david. for her wedding, she registered at bed bath and the bone. fox news contributor kat. dana, we are watching our special five jerseys, right? >> she looks good in hers. you know it, that's sexist.

>> how come i didn't get one. those two times that i fill dana and the christmas week of 2015. pretty. >> greg: the ratings were released on the most to shows. but i think dana, it's got to be tough for you to come and work every day and still be starstruck when you are around me. how do you maintain the composure when you come to work? it's like you never -- >> i actually pinch myself so that the pain takes away the fear. that's the way to do it. my wife wonders where i've been all day when she sees my black and blue marks. speak i think for me it has been -- it's been amazing to be a part of the show as jesse begins his career and yours is coming to an end. >> nice, dana. >> greg: that stung. i'm not going to lie. jesse, if it weren't for

"the five" you'd be living in a youth hostel. >> i thought he did. >> greg: earning tricks for your next fix. >> oh, jeez. i'm glad you asked me about my book. because in the book i wrote about some of the things you say in the commercial break. and i'd like to share these things with the audience. all right, get the [bleep]er ready. i [bleep] the ocean. charity sucks, it's the best thing you ever do and they get all the money. "if you are going to kill your spouse, take them hiking." it's true. >> greg: it's the best way! >> the cheapest form of phone sex is calling

victoria's secret. you have to save some for sunday brunch. so if you want to hear more about what greg says of the commercial break, by "how i save the world." reese witherspoon is beating me right now. and nothing against reese, but i heard the last book she recommended made everyone sick. [laughter] >> but she wrote her book. >> oh! speak of those are fighting words. >> greg: kat, you do have some experience with "the five." care to add anything to the self-congratulation party? >> it's a little bit like high school when everyone's talking about how much fun they had at the parties that i wasn't invited to. but you know, i am a viewer. i enjoy the show. i'm very happy for all of you. and i'm excited that also they show that was supposed to not go on very long and everyone was saying was canceled after three episodes is doing very well. >> let's be honest, if it wasn't

for "the five," we probably never would've met your husband, right? >> i don't know how that makes sense. we met on an app. >> do you make everything up? >> greg, how did you get your stuff to make that montage of all the things about you? i mean, that's something. this because she wants one. >> greg: i said, you know it would really upset dana? as if we did a montage and it was just me. and in the middle of the montage, you said -- >> i said, how long is this thing going to go on? >> it gave me some great ideas for my weekend show. we are going to do that on saturday night. >> greg: welcome i think were going to have another ten years. what do you say to that? >> it got lots more to go on the show. up next, a teacher has been

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♪ ♪ >> greg: he teaches phys ed, but they won't forgive what he said. the virginia school board is taking its case against an elementary school gym teacher to the state supreme court, which is like the regular court but with more toppings. you might've heard about tanner cross. he was put on leave back and make for speaking out against the district policy that required teachers to address transgender students with their preferred pronouns. >> i love all of my students, but i would never lie to them regardless of the consequences.

i'm a teacher, but i serve god first and i will not affirm that a biological boy could be a girl and vice versa. it's against my religion, and flying to a child, it's abuse to a child ended sinning against our god. >> greg: after that he got suspended. the court ruled that he had the right to give his opinion at a public meeting in the school had no right to try to fire him. he was reinstated, but now the district in between denouncing their privilege, inspiring back like a meth head flinty indulge balls. appealing to the state's highest court. here is cross speaking it earlier to this hideous creature known as kill me. >> are you worried this whole thing is going to get reversed again? >> i still have faith in the school board and that the first amendment is on our side and on the teachers side. we still -- we care about our students. we just hope that everybody's viewpoint is looked into so that we all can be an inclusive

environment and educate children in the correct way. >> greg: he's not bad looking. cross, not the other guy obviously. okay dana, dirt and peterson saw this coming when he refused to y pronouns that he was told he had to say. no one can -- people can try to keep you from saying certain things, but they can't compel you to use specific words. that is like a whole new world. >> it's like -- remember that brandeis university that lifted all those words that they said were oppressive. but this is like the reverse, this is basically pressing him for his beliefs. when you look at the balance of harm and all of those, you have to take into account that he didn't say this at the school. he said this to adults at a school board meeting. and certainly going to far, but i do think it's only a matter of time before we were all caught up in this. >> greg: absolutely. >> greg: absolutely. >> like when jesse starts getting us to call him "they."

it will be hard for us, because we are older. >> greg: i'm sticking to calling jesse "it." >> jim was my favorite subject in school. i have a great affinity for gym teachers. i like the fact that they can just wear shorts and a t-shirt to work. and get summers off. my gym teacher at school was named mr. quackenbush and he used to miss gender me all the time for it he is dl, "run faster you little girl." i've been miss gender lot. my face wasn't on camera, and you just heard my voice and at the end of the day we get emails and it was my job to go through the emails. your producer did such a great job in alabama. you should give her a raise. >> me too, but the other way around. >> greg: you have a husky

voice. >> i don't know. >> greg: the floor director laughed at that joke. somebody laughed at a joke, finally. asmen -- can i call you dave? >> yes. >> greg: it is where you hear things, right? that is the purpose to hear people's opinions. was it wrong for him to go at that link there, did he take a risk that he should pay for? >> it is an opinion. the one thing i really love getting back to "the five," you give your opinions without worrying about whether it's politically correct or not. the bottom line is, you can make it from a religious standpoint as he did. a lot of people are just doing it biologically, leaving gender out of it. >> you are defined biologically by your chromosomes. that is what defines gender. and by that definition, it doesn't matter how you identify yourself as a man or woman.

i know it's crazy, but nowadays satan simply thoughts can get you in trouble. what bugged me, my wife is from latin america. when biden said latin lags and said of latina. i hope that is not -- there's enough pushback now it balanced critical race theory. this guy is on the cutting edge rather than on the politically correct. to speak the governor in virginia can wear black face and he doesn't get in trouble? but if the governor of virginia because a guy or girl or at misgenders, that can get him in trouble. >> that is the bottom line nowadays. that is b.s. >> greg: at kat, i agree. i think the biological argument is sound. there are incredibly brave intellectuals who are willing to go and talk about this. it was probably when he mushed it together and made it more --

>> may be, because i'm obviously not religious. but i'm somebody who i'm like whatever, i will call you whatever you want. i will. and they like well, what if somebody wants to be -- they identify as a velociraptor? first of all, that's not the same. second of all, i wouldn't call you a velociraptor. it doesn't really affect me. but i think things like this kind of show again, so many of these controversies that are in schools and involved with schools could be solved with more school choice. it's becoming more and more apparent that there is not one size fits all government mandated solution for every single child. >> greg: along with defunding the police, if the democrats start calling these understandably outraged parents of her critical race theory or whatever -- if they start calling them white supremacists or a demonizing parents, they are going to lose big. they've got to read the room. i think that's a phrase i just

coined. >> good one! >> greg: you like that? thank you. i'm going to start using that regularly. >> you do that, greg. >> greg: i'm reading the room right now and it says go to break. up next, calling food exotic it's the language police neurotic. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ we made usaa insurance for veterans like martin. when a hailstorm hit, he needed his insurance to get it done right, right away. usaa. what you're made of, we're made for. usaa

>> everything is racist. >> greg: true. is it route to enjoy food? a food writer for "the washington post" newspaper was so bad that even use the digital edition to wrap fish. we shouldn't use the word "exotic" when describing foreign foods. according to the jeff bezos vanity press, the first problem with the word, it has lost its

essential meeting. the second more crucial problem, it's used particularly as it's applied to food and directly lengthening the meta-physical distance between one group of humans and another. and in so doing reinforces xenophobia and racism. you know a divider, maybe stick to writing about food. because no human can process that colds do you just barked all over us. speaking of an exotic dish, maurice becker. catching heat for referring to a player's fiance as "very pretty." the tennis legend made the offhand comment, not a backhand comment, little tennis humor. while covering wimbledon, which is like the little league world series for tennis. spokeswoman -- a spokes human for women and sports who is probably ugly, something a disgusting sexist might say, condemned the remarks saying when men are comfortable talking about women in this way, never mind on live tv, it shows there

is still moreto do. i dunno, jesse, wouldn't you be flattered if he said you were pretty? >> he's a handsome man, got felled. >> greg: he really is. >> i'm confused because i thought women love complements beer that's always what i've been told. and now you can't call them pretty? so what are we supposed to call them? how are we supposed to complement them? >> greg: i have no idea. >> if i don't know what her personality is and i'm looking at her, can't you say she's pretty? >> greg: i would try to make every complement confusing. like hey, kat, your elbows really bring out the color of your shoes. >> that was not a compliment. >> greg: knew it is not a color, dana. >> want to bet?

that is what it says on the box. >> it's races because it's a white skin color. that article has been read before. but yes, the exotic thing. i read the whole thing. if she says it is, therefore it is and if you push back on it you are racist because racist is one of those words were if you say it, that it must be true and if anything questions that you are a racist. it's not much more sophisticated than kids on the playground. it's a widely accepted and the consequences of going against it can actually cost you your job. >> look that up in the dictionary by the way. the dictionary says -- this is webster's originating in our characteristic of distant

foreign land. okay, so -- >> greg: mr. journalist. mr. dictionary. >> if you are in asia, hot dog would be exotic. >> greg: sometimes i just say things that come out of my mouth and then i forget about it. it's true. everybody loves things that are prefaced with exotic. >> it's about marketing. if you put "exotic" in front of something, i'm more likely to buy it. >> greg: exotic dancers. >> what they want people to do is basically they are pressing people who have a small business selling their exotic food and exotic drinks, so now they are oppressing those people. what they seem to want is for all of us to only eat the food they grew up with. so i dunno, my mom made fried

chicken peer that's good. i couldn't have burritos peer that would be outrageous, because i really love them. >> so they are racist, but the people who are against the word exotic. >> any time they're trying to do that, i turn it around and say they are oppressing other people. we should use it on them. >> greg: that is anti--race -- they are saying that you are defined solely by your pigment. and there are certain qualities of caucasians that are flawed. >> you could say that a white woman -- but you couldn't say it was a pretty white woman. >> greg: exactly! >> she should've just said "she's white." could you imagine -- what could i say? what could i possibly do?

he's been through worse. >> greg: i would just say, go back to sleep, maurice. he so pretty when he sleeps. there should be a special day where we are all allowed to complement everybody know bettet like no matter what peer to screw with these people and maka national flattery day. a national flattery day. speak a very kind of you. >> call everybody pretty and exotic. valentine's day. >> greg: anyway, coming up. sensor joe rogan. they scream because he's not there. ♪ ♪

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a lot of rhyming today. last year, the wildly successful host had a $1 billion deal with spotify. but according to business insider, an employee complained on their internal networking channel "and personally bothered by his transphobic comments and i'm concerned with the way he might spread misinformation." you just need one outlining debag to make something problematic. they said it was the most contentious one the company ever made. but another staffer said that rogan's only a small, loud minority. i think that is how dana refers to her help. main mall, earlier this week conan o'brien tackled cancel culture. >> empathy is a very important word and also forgiveness, the whole concept of cancel culture. we found someone did something in 1979 that is now not appropriate -- they are dead to us. and i think.

>> yeah, it's ludicrous. >> what happens to let's talk about this now, but people can also be forgiven if they even need forgiveness. it almost feels very soviet kind of sometimes. >> greg: feels very soviet sometimes. it's about time, fellas. conan had a talk show for years and never thought to bring this up. sean penn has been around forever too paid when you have two hollywood liberals same things have gone too far, there's hope maybe they can turn the tide. i thought sean penn and madonna would work things out. if that reference got in the older, i'd have to smother it with a pillow. anyway -- >> did sean penn record that from venezuela? because that's where he could find out about some of these things. >> greg: yes, that's true purity was a big defender of hugo chavez. i'm explaining a point to people at home. speak i figure they're smart enough to have got a net on

their own pit i don't think you have to help them not much. >> greg knows his audience. >> mansplaining. >> greg: what if i don't see myself as a man. >> this story about ten staffers -- anonymous staffers being upset about joe rogan happens about every three weeks. i'm starting to believe that it is a p.r. ploy, because every time they do the executives of spotify till those guys that are complaining to go pound sand. but spotify executives totally got it and they are like, actually defending him. support of this feels like maybe it's just one of the ways that they are trying to get some good press. >> greg: i should work on that here for the show peer there's also the chance that it's just a couple of people and they are amplified by business insider, by all of these people that are from the politically correct culture that controls the mainstream media. and it happens at fox's will beauty beautified a couple of disgruntled people or people who just want to make a name for

themselves in that particular medium. and then they go, we work for abc and then they get fired. >> greg: let's talk about that, jessie and kat. let's talk about some of the people at fox that may not like us. >> how long do we have? [laughs] >> do you ever walked on the halls and you can tell so but he doesn't like you? >> yes, i do. i feel that. i really sense when people don't like me. it's one of my best characteristics. i'm a very good antenna for hate. i do feel it in the bathroom, i feel it in the elevator, and i feel it when i walk through the building and the security guys don't say hi back. i give them my book and they don't even care. i see here guys, do you want a free -- they won't even take it. just big enough, i wanted to just -- i just wanted to put this right here. it just looks better like that, right? right there, that's good peer just for the rest of the show. >> greg: let's see if they get a picture of that. that was a good idea. >> hello, guys. there you go. >> greg: so kat, what drives

me crazy about this is that -- and dana has a good point on this. they aren't picked out about misinformation, they are pit stop about information. if you go over watch rogan, it's actually really interesting. they talked for three hours, it is pretty great stuff. they just don't want the other side that they disagree with to be allowed any kind of oxygen. they're not even -- they are mad because there's information. speak out and also think how much you are a failure if that's the kind of thing that you have to report to. who are the real irredeemable losers. something that they said ten years ago when they were teenagers but now they have had time to fully develop their brains and contribute to society. then, or someone who was apparently so little to contribute to society that they have the time to go find the tweets from ten years ago? they are losers. >> greg: do you think

employees of the show should be able to control what i say, kat? >> no. >> greg: that's good. because he would've been gone in an instant. all i know -- it they should go work somewhere else. >> he's making more money for the company they work at. shut up. >> greg: i was going to say a nasty word, but i decided to hold back. >> does anybody believe sean penn -- thought sean penn in this moment of reality, clarity? >> greg: his is probably more linked to me too and his buddies getting caught. >> bingo! >> greg: up next, peacocks life was snuffed out because of its shout. ♪ ♪

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♪ ♪ >> greg: did they kill -- with a glock? yeah, a peacock was too loud for them to go to bed so they found someone on craigslist to shoot it dead. it was a neighborhood bird, now his body is interred. according to a local report, my favorite kind, the peacock that have been visiting a humboldt county california

neighborhood for years was found shot dead after somebody posted a craigslist ad taking a hit out on the bird. so it wasn't self-inflicted, dana. many residents say they are heartbroken that the peacock, nicknamed mr. p, loved visiting their home and visitors love taking pictures with impaired there were no eyewitnesses on hs father's or otherwise. but the person who requested the peacock assassin complained the birds loud calls were waking them up and keeping them up very early every morning. so the bird had to go. cops say a suspect has been identified. possibly a disgruntled msnbc employee. and no, they haven't made any arrests. they are investigating for animal cruelty and conspiracy to commit a crime. but it's like my uncle used to say, don't do the crime if you can't do the rigorous cleanup process that will destroy any trace of evidence.

kat, this is a terrible, terrible story. but it's also amazing that you can get a peacock assassin off of craigslist. i mean, that is customer service. it's crazy. >> right, i hear what you are saying for this is so heartbreaking. it may be really sad, i'm not sure it's because i'm loud and annoying and i don't want to get shot as part of it. but this man, or die, or woman, whoever did this, i believe is a horrible person. but i will say, they do -- they know who this is at all this person says it is, has a crime been committed? if so, i will get a lawyer. but has a crime been committed? where is that on the first 48? did you kill him? and they are like yeah, and that's it. it's a bad guy, good grassroots. >> greg: dana commit seems to me that the ad could have been less specific, right? does it have to be a peacock?

could you say you need a killer for a large, feathered, somewhat arrogant bird? >> what if it was someone just up, up as big bird. it's because the sound of my youth, because they were all over the place on the ranch. even if they were really loud. yes, wild peacocks. and guess who killed all of them? the coyotes. that is what you need to do with a coyote in this neighborhood. but also, i blame joe biden. the violence in america is out of control, out of control all across the country. >> greg: you know john lennon went out to a restaurant yesterday and he didn't see any peacocks getting shot. >> must not be happening then. >> he did, pal. i'm not going to say it. >> good, jesse. you are learning. >> greg: how does this story speak to you? are you going to be covering this question might >> no, i'm

just going to do a montage of myself for like 30 minutes. thank you for that idea. i just didn't think you would need to shoot it, you just could've poisoned the peacock. isn't that just more humane way? [laughter] >> greg: can they fly? >> only when you punch it. i do now, can they? >> they cannot fly. >> they are like colorful turkeys, right? >> they are very loud. >> greg: so you're taking the defense of the killer? speak of a member the seinfeld episode where elaine had a barking dog that was keeping her up on night and she hired somebo kill the dog? it's been done before. speak about that was fiction. >> well, sometimes -- >> they probably got the idea from somewhere. >> greg: kat, are there hit men? >> why do you keep asking kat?

>> greg: because she's a sick puppy, she has. to speak i would deny that. >> greg: she handles the peacocks. there's a whole area of animal assassins we don't know about. it's become very interested in the person that looked at this ad and was like, i'm the perfect guy. i'm the perfect fit for this. >> how much money did they get? >> greg: i have no idea no idea. >> he said he would discuss compensation. >> and where was this? >> the pot capital of the world. this could've been a drug thief, right? the peacock was eating the... >> greg: all right, i think we've nailed this. up next, peacocks or murder? that was terrible. don't go anywhere. be right back. ♪ ♪ ♪ it's grilled cheese time. ♪

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>> greg: before we move on, let's do this. ♪♪ animals are jerks ♪ ♪ animals are jerks ♪ ♪ animals are jerks ♪♪ without "the five" there wouldn't have been that. it's like a big circle of life. take a look at this little hell cat! that's a jerk! all he does is he goes around the neighborhood and just runs up t and then he leaves. is there no shame? look at him. >> someone put a hit out on him right now. >> greg: that's a terrible thing to say. >> sorry, dana. >> greg: yeah. that's the kind of dog i would like, who just knocks stuff over and that is why... ♪♪ animals are jerks ♪ ♪ animals are jerks ♪ ♪ animals are jerks ♪♪ all right, that was a great show

and a wonderful, wonderful panel and a wonderful celebration of "the five." thank you, dana perino. jesse watters. david esmond, kat timpf, our wonderful studio audience. [the scattered applause] evil shannon bream is next. i'm greg gutfeld, i love you, america! ♪ ♪ >> shannon: hello and welcome to "fox news @ night." i'm shannon bream in washington. ♪ ♪ breaking tonight, hunter biden's work as a prompting white house tube providing epic plan. blasting the plan tonight, a live report just minutes away, plus we will find out what one art curator really thinks about the value of hunter's creatio