well. >> we can't just play along but we need to break the fourth wall and challenge some of the institutions. and while the met is known for expect to go, we should have a conversation about it. >> laura: socialization today means wearing a tax the rich shirt to a show charging 30k a ticket. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jesse: after becoming the king of late night, greg gutfeld finally decided to take a day off. so he asked the second funniest person at fox to fill in for him. bill kill me and said he was not available so you're stuck with

me. my needless condolences go out to you, the audience. you thought you were getting got filled. instead, you're getting someone taller, better looking, and someone who didn't get fired from a magazine. you got "watters!" instead. this is like buying tickets to see jerry seinfeld and carrot top takes the stage. i give you your money back, but i found out got filled doesn't charge anybody to come see the show which makes sense. but there is a silver lining. unlike a normal show, none of tonight's jokes will go over your head. that i promise you. it's me. and it's an honor to step into greg's shoes today even though it kind of hurts because he is a size 6. greg has been on a hot streak recently.

he needs a break. a number one best seller, a new house, a baby boy. wait, that's me. you would think greg would want a baby. finally someone in his life who is shorter than he is. also someone to laugh at his jokes. greg has a strange sense of humor, doesn't he? it's almost like there is something beneath the surface that he wants to tell us. >> here are my latest candidates for my personal assistant. this is han. this is lars. and this is clive. hope y'all had a good weekend. mine was not so bad. i spent most of it working on my abs with my personal trainer. ♪ ♪ i am the one on the bottom. for a change. i work out but i don't use weights. i use the body weights of my

workout partner. they straddle me on my back and then i squat thrust. you want to go work out? >> i don't have my workout close. speak out won't need any. ♪ ♪ [laughter] >> jesse: not that there is anything wrong with that. people say that greg is masking his feminine instincts by constantly talking about guns, reds, and death metal. and by people, i mean me. our sources think greg took off today because he is transitioning. to what exactly? unclear. but a new symbol has been added to the acronym lgbtq. it is now lgbtq! greg is probably at a gender

revealed party tonight. his own. all kidding aside, the real reason greg is not here today is because it is his birthday. [cheers and applause] besides 30-year-old women and anyone in the biden administration during a crisis, who takes off on their birthday? greg does apparently. yet much like sleepy joe, greg has changed his position. >> we would like to which our executive producer a very happy birthday. >> jesse: i delivered that because i am her favorite hose. >> did you take today off because it's her birthday question mike you know how i feel about that. >> jesse: so besides flip-flopping, greg and joe biden have so much in common. their love for hunter. their advanced age. actually, biden looks a little

younger than greg and that. and of course the thing to have most in common, hair plugs. would someone secure about their hair obsess over someone else's hair this much? >> jesse watters has saved thousands of lives just by the amount of hair spray he used every day. his hair is like an extension cord, thick, dark, and full of plugs. congrats on the book. it's going to buy you a lot of hair gel. jesse's hair has enough product to get his stare, hair standing on end fraternity. >> jesse: just like joe -- i want to be as respectful to greg as possible while i sit in his chair. wait, what is this? oh, what is the stack of papers doing here? but i really wanted to pay homage to greg tonight. i even wanted to dress like him so i peeked in his closet just

to get a little inspiration. filling in for got filled tonight. have to trust the part. let's see what he got in his closet. pretty nice. dark pants. slim fit. i'm almost there. blue blazer. white shirt. i just have to get the black tie. oh, these are perfect. nailed it. >> the segment was brought to you by a b gap. baby gap. >> jesse: they say imitation is the highest form of flattery. i'm trying to look and act as much like greg as possible. so after the show i'm going to

go drink wine alone. and text dana. i also searched his desk to find some of his famous notes to use on the show. but they were all love letters to kat. kat, seriously, contact hr immediately. this guy's sake. >> i wrote those about myself. trying to work on my self-esteem. >> jesse: and tyrus, he could not make it here tonight. i am sorry. but a source just sent us some very exclusive footage. here is what tyrus is up to you right now. [cheers and applause] >> one, two, three. >> jesse: but in all seriousness, i love greg like --

he is the man. funniest guy i know. i don't really know that many people but it is a compliment. is a huge hit. he is a prolific author. great cohost. and did you guys hear, he just interviewed donald trump. way to go, gutfeld. quite the achievement. you are the last fox host to interview trump. in fact, greg might be the last host in america to interview donald trump. greg didn't even like trump when he was running for president. and then i remember that greg didn't even like me before i started posting "the five." just another thing he has in common with biden. terrible instincts. greg didn't think the coronavirus was going to be that big of a deal. actually, that was me.

in all honesty, greg solid coming, which is something nobody has ever said about greg. because he is little. you can hardly see him. greg is so tiny, brian stelter gave him a nickname, the invisible enemy. but as your doctor told you, gutfeld, size doesn't matter. it's what you do with it that counts. and you have done a lot. more than any of us. mostly because you are so old. you have had more time to do stuff. but also because you are such a hard worker. and as they say, when you don't have talent, you have to make up for it with hard work. so way to go, buddy. give it your best. and when your best isn't good enough, just do what i do -- at a movie clip to make it funnier.

>> i am kind of a big deal. >> jesse: now that is comedy. stealing other people's material. kind of like what greg does with scott adams. speaking of comedy, and everything is funny, gutfeld. no your audience. your cackle kind of reminds me of kamala. >> -- a good idea and you're like yeah. [laughter] >> let's start with the positive. [laughs] really interesting question [laughs] >> jesse: read the room, dude.

covering up your insecurities would comedy is wet stand-up comedians do. that is not you. you know, you don't do stand up because you have something that stand up medians don't have. notes in a teleprompter. so happy birthday, greg. i know you're watching because he would have nothing to do. [cheers and applause] and i was as mean as possible just so you never asked me to host again. let's talk to our guest tonight. she has pose for more pictures with her guns out and sylvester stallone. katie. he will be the mayor and have a special task force comprised of rescue cats. republican mayor candidate,

leroy. recommends his jokes to induce vomiting. writer and comedian, joe machi. and she is the one cat even the aspca won't shelter. fox news contributor, kat timpf. all rights, cats, now unlike greg, i actually wrote that monologue myself. how do you feel about got filled gutfeld taking a day off? >> he is good at finding talented people to work for hand. like me. i am very funny and smart. i am not just a pretty face. and then joe machi who is so funny that -- last night at gutfeld's with a party for about an hour i had to hear my husband tried to convince him to go to sandals

resort with them to go alone. that's how funny joe machi is. >> it was my idea. >> jesse: so joe, you're going to have to carry the rest of the show because i am all a lot of jokes. >> i thought you did a great job. you killed it on that monologue. right? [cheers and applause] i've been working for greg for six months now and i think you are the funnier of the two but greg is my boss. he is in charge of how much i got paid and i want to give him a heartfelt message on his birthday. just off-the-cuff here. greg gutfeld is a handsome, daring leader that will shepherd america to victory in the fight against communism. >> i agree with that. because he is also my boss. >> jesse: i don't have to kiss his because he is not my boss.

speaking of communism, you are fighting against it running for mayor here in new york. [cheers and applause] you are mentioning to me in the green room that you are really glad gutfeld wasn't here and i was hosting because i could hurt your campaign, so you are welcome. >> jesse, we never had that conversation. you have a very elaborate imagination. we did not have that conversation appeared to be one that's true. i just lied. i'm getting a feel of the show. >> now you have to do is shake hands, kissed a baby, and you too could be a politician. >> jesse: i couldn't take the pay cut. does greg make you nervous? >> sometimes. i am always trying to manage his complaints at my number one goal in life is -- i like when he complains about you instead. >> jesse: greg complains about everything. i'm sure he is going to be complaining about this show. cats, anything you want to say

to gutfeld because as i said, he does not have anything else going on. but he is watching right now. >> i have the exact same focus in life as katie. we are all worried about. >> last night he complained -- happy birthday, greg. >> jesse: happy 60th birthday, greg. not that far off. next, is gavin newsom forgivable for making his state unlivable? for making his state unlivable? ♪ ♪ a, or atopic dermatitis under control? hide our skin? not us. because dupixent targets a root cause of eczema, it helps heal your skin from within, keeping you one step ahead of it. and for kids ages 6 and up, that means clearer skin, and noticeably less itch. hide my skin? not me.

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>> jesse: lockdowns,

homelessness, and crime, could mean newsom is out of time. will he awaken to cheers or tears? an event more rare than gutfeld passing a high test erotic roller coaster. on tuesday , californians will decide if gavin newsom will remain in office or become a full-time model for hair gel. it's as i can recall election in the state in the last 20 years. last one and 2003 made arnold schwarzenegger governor so anything is possible. unlike home ownership for california residents. in the closing weeks of the recall campaign, newsom has been touting his efforts to combat the coronavirus mostly by isolating himself at his fancy restaurant. and while leading republican candidate larry elder says newsom has prevailed at every turn, they both made their final pitches to voters this week. >> recall is an extension of the big lie.

this recall is an extension of the january 20 insurrection. it was going on all across this country that wants to suppress your right to vote, or women's right to their own reproductive health care. it is all part of an extended narrative. >> i can think of any front, the declining quality of public education, the rise in homelessness, he is forced management, rolling run on spirit i can think of any front at all where this moment has done a good job. >> jesse: of course he is not the only challenger. there is actually 46 candidates who qualified to be on the ballot including nine other democrats and this fellow. >> corn dogs and powerade slash. first day on the job. my apologies.

when they get you another powerade. i will be right back. >> jesse: are right, joe, you are a political guy. you are nuts. but who is going to win? >> i wear a a lot of hats. comedian, comedy writer, political guy. but i think larry elder has too many headwinds he is facing in the mainstream media was willing to call the leading black canada white supremacists. take my addictions with a grain of salt because i predicted on vander holyfield to win that fight. i thought -- 58 was the number of unanswered punches. >> jesse: that was a rough fight for vander holyfield. katie t, big election, it's tomorrow for democrats it's actually thursday. want to let them know that and not tomorrow. i'm not allowed to say that. sorry. katie, it's my first apology on

"gutfeld!." >> you are doing well. i think larry elder has done an amazing job. the conservatives in california have rally behind him to get him on the island and bring up real issues. democrats outnumber republicans 2:1 in california. and he also used federal stimulus money to send everybody a check to buy votes. we will see what happens. i am pulling for larry. i think he has worked really hard. californians deserve better than gavin newsom. [cheers and applause] >> jesse: people getting ballots, that includes a vander holyfield? was going to happen out there in the sunshine state? wait, is that florida? >> yeah. the golden state. >> jesse: where are gutfeld's writers when i need them. your prediction. >> i love larry elder. but pretty boy new son, he says

it's a violation -- that's what we call -- the people's right to vote you out on your togas. lemme give you a story about larry elder. 2002, both in oakland. we are dealing with black nationalists were talking about black on black crime and we are both in a room and there -- my complexion gave me protection. i am a white guy in the room, right. they're all over larry. year at double stuff oreo cookie. a race traitor. and let me tell you something. larry did not blank. he did not retreat. he'd blocked. he did not bow. this is a man's man. he should be the next governor of the state of california. >> gavin newsom i will say --

he's probably going to pull through. i hope not. because everyone thinks he sucks. even democrats and supporters -- all they can say when they china listen, he is not republican. that's all anyone can find to say about me i would be deeply offended. that is not a compliment. that's a piece of trivia. so if that is the best that they can use, that's not true, and i agree, california deserves better. >> jesse: california does deserve better. vote for larry up next, fauci's new covid predictions are full of contradictions. ♪ ♪

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>> jesse: are the unvexed the biggest threat we face or are the democrats fears misplaced?

a new poll shows 56% of democrats believe people who have not gotten their covid shots are a serious threat. but only 44% of democrats are worried about the taliban and china. it is just the opposite for republicans. obviously. they are most concerned about the taliban from the police activist and china. meanwhile, in surgeon general let us know biden may have more mandates up his sleeve. in addition to where he is and what he is supposed to say. >> with delta, which is a new twist, a new curveball, and as required us to take another step and that's what the president announced and there will be more actions that we continue to work on in the days ahead especially on the global from. >> jesse: to those without the job face more power grabs?

one of those actions could be more travel restrictions. just last week, the democratic congressman proposed a new bill that calls for airline and train passengers to either show proof of vaccination or a negative covid test just in order to travel. and lord fauci reportedly said and a podcast out later this week that he would support a vaccine mandate for air travel. but hey, at least we are not australia yet. it's a lot worse there. here's a live shot of downtown sydney. [laughs] okay. katie p. would you go to australia right now? >> no. i'm not allowed to go to australia. they're not letting anybody in.

australia is scary. that's -- they give up their gun in the '90s and look what is happening now. can leave your house. dr. fauci and joe biden claim we are never going to get to the same place has done but they lie about everything so why should we trust on? >> jesse: fax mandates for plane travel. what if it's an emergency? what if you have to go to california which people know is the sunshine state to fill out a couple of ballots for your body? and it's an emergency? speak out tough. you have to put your thumb out and hopefully somebody gives you a ride. >> this is absolutely crazy. it's almost like dr. fauci, you wonder why they didn't have an early retirement for this guy. it's like he has been a white with the wheel of fauci misfortune for america. the guy is a ball of confusion and contradiction.

and yet every day, we have to hear dr. fauci speak. the world will never be the same unless we hear the words of wisdom dripped from his lips. this guy that she has all the furniture upstairs. speak to >> jesse: kat, i would like to buy a vowel. >> i don't know how. i'm great at what i do. i think it's unbelievable that this is even being allowed because it's just not legal. it's not legal for them to do this. joe biden is acting like a king and i thought the whole reason that we even are in the country is didn't want the king thing so we have to cut it out. >> king joe. i'm not talking about you. >> he is king joe. >> will the real king joe please stand up.

>> jesse: your take on the fax mandates for ale travel. >> i don't care for it. i don't think it's legal. they even said so. i would rather just continue to wear a mask unlike for children me knowing what other people are thinking, that ship has already sailed, i am not going to get it. i went on a date with a lady and she said we are going to schedule a second date and then she texted me saying she forgot she was going to michigan for a whole month. and then most people would be like she is not into you but i waited a month. it goes fast. and i texted her again and she never wrote back and at that point most people would say she goes to deal. but i filled out the missing persons report anyway. >> jesse: so that's why you wanted -- all right. kat, i would not let him on a plane. >> just the two go of them here

they made it clear i was not invited. >> jesse: will talk about that during the commercial break. coming up, a professor's threats over $1200 sweat. his good musical , is it's not a steroid or inhaler. fasenra is an add-on treatment for asthma driven by eosinophils. it's one maintenance dose every 8 weeks. it helps prevent asthma attacks, improve breathing, and lower use of oral steroids. nearly 7 out of 10 adults with asthma may have elevated eosinophils. fasenra is designed to target and remove them. fasenra is not a rescue medication or for other eosinophilic conditions. fasenra may cause allergic reactions. get help right away if you have swelling of your face, mouth, and tongue, or trouble breathing. don't stop your asthma treatments unless your doctor tells you to.

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>> everything is racist. >> jesse: social justice rabble-rousers claim these are racist trousers. >> that's a good one. >> jesse: thank you. fashion house is accused of cultural appropriation for selling a $1200 pair of sweatpants with boxers sticking out of the top. similar to those '90s hip-hop style. a cheaper, smarter way to brag about being rich would be to show them your bank account. that's what i do. no one is impressed.

the allegedly white supremacist hands ignited a firestorm of controversy re-after tiktok users posted a video of the pens calling them both racist and very racist. an associate professor of africana studies emailed cnn calling it "an exploitation of black culture with the hopes of securing major prophets." for more, let's check in with her senior at leisure correspondent, joe. what's the latest with these pants? >> thanks, jesse. back and better than never. you don't need to spend a fortune. i got these for like $8. they look great. i can tell what day it is. and they give me the support i need quiet plus they are a b hit with the ladies. good afternoon, miss. back to you, jesse.

>> jesse: oh, man. i don't even know what to say. kat take it away. >> what do i say? i do not plan on buying these pants. although i have to admit all of the clothes i'm wearing now and all the close i ever wear, i did not invent any of those close myself. so am i a racist? >> jesse: you are appropriating something. >> i did not invent this nor this. this hair i didn't even grow myself. i don't even know who did so i guess thank you. >> jesse: that is not your real hair. >> israel here but i did not grow up. someone else did. i bought it. >> jesse: you now own the hair. >> yes. congratulations. >> jesse: thank you. you look great. >> i know. >> jesse: andrew married. >> yes

>> jesse: she's married. curtis, you are seeing people, they walk a round like this. you see a white guy walking around like this, $1200 with a pants sagging and boxers out. what's the first thing that crosses your mind putter >> i'm saying "gq" fashionista. only one way to test this out to see how attractive this really is. walk that guy up because -- and see when he becomes a tag for bubba in jail because he will certainly have paid a lot of money. this is extortion. how much is it? >> jesse: $1200. >> boy, is that a rip off. let's see. i'm the only one who's actually been in jail here, right? >> i've been in a jail but i wasn't arrested. >> you wear sweats like this, i guarantee you, you are going to

be somebody's maytag real quick. real quick. >> jesse: spitting a lot of prison lingo. >> i only know about prison lingo from netflix. watching all those prison shows. there is no fruit of the looming happening. >> jesse: also know as main tagging apparently. you are not familiar with made tagging, are you? >> i went to a risen field trip in high school and one of the inmates said i would be very popular there. which was weird because i was not very popular in high school. but i don't think anyone buys a $1200 pair of sweatpants and think they are being authentic. just take a beach from history's smartest people. they dress like. einstein, steve jobs, me, they

don't care. >> jesse: joe got scared straight. literally. well, i don't have an opinion on this because i don't want to get in trouble on someone else's show. and you know me. >> that's why you have been so careful. >> jesse: that's what people think of when they think of "watters!." careful. up next, while de blasio pretends, he campaigns with four-legged friends. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ tums vs. mozzarella stick when heartburn hits, fight back fast with tums chewy bites. fast heartburn relief in every bite. crunchy outside, chewy inside. ♪ tums, tums, tums, tums ♪ tums chewy bites i don't just play someone brainy on tv - i'm an actual neuroscientist.

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♪ ♪ >> jesse: and another de blasio fell, the inmates run the jail. another crisis ignored by new york mayor bill de blasio. he ignores more warnings than an obese pregnant diabetic smoking cigarettes. but he can't say he wasn't told. last week, curtis, mayoral candidate, and are best dressed guests tonight. hand delivered letter outlining the chaos at the chronically understaffed jail.

it included photos of recently assaulted guards and blasted de blasio for attending concerts and fun events instead of providing relief. this after video surface of a maid's drinking, smoking. like they were partying in vegas. instead in a casino, they would have to wear masks. meanwhile, curtis released a campaign add or he outlines his to save the big apple all while petting a cat like a james bond villain. >> i am curtis. as a young man working on a mcdonald's in the bronx, i learned to ask how can i serve you? soon after, i found that the guardian angels to protect people after watching my neighbors fall victim to crime, drugs, and homelessness appeared since then, i've dedicated my life to keeping a safe, helping the homeless, and saving our animals. [cheers and applause] >> jesse: that is tough and

compassionate. two things will never see from bill de blasio. unless he is protecting criminals from justice. so, curtis -- >> that's my personal ad as a -- naturally i am a republican and an independent so i am a person of no consequence. to the media and everyone else. but you know, the rescue cats, we raised 17 rescue cats in a 328 square-foot apartment on the upper west side. my wife is a saint. she is able to save them from being euthanized at the shelter. and to not had neurological difficulties. so basically she was brought back from the dead. and all the consultants say don't use the cat because nobody is going to focus on your message. and i said yeah, but maybe it is better they focus on the cat because when i am there, we are not killing any more dogs and cats. going to have no kill shelters.

take that. >> and curtis has a cat under his hat. we are not going to make him take it off. >> jesse: i would call you a rescue cats person, but i don't want to get on your bad side, kat. speak out you would never know if you are, don't worry. >> jesse: it would go right over my head. >> i have a rescue cat named sheen and that's why i wear his name around my neck. i don't have 17 of them but my obsession for the one that i do have, it's far more unhealthy and strange. that's why i love him. he is the love of my life and we are going to have a great weekend together when joe machi and my husband are sandals and i love the campaign add. i just wished i'd seen it yesterday. we could've had something to watch when i was that in loan because they were sitting next to each other on the ride home. >> jesse: sewing's going to fly with you on the plane like

an emotional support cat. >> no, i'm not invited. my husband made that clear. >> jesse: okay. i don't judge. katie. >> i have questions about 17 cats in that space but -- i have a job for all the cats. >> are you insinuating i'm eccentric? >> no. i have known about you for a long time and i'm not stranger to the eccentric nature of your being. since you're out fighting, you should put the cats to work and have them fight the rats. >> i like that. >> clean up the city a little bit. >> especially the two legged rats. who are in our government. get wind, dined, and pocket lined by the lobbyist. speak a little red beret is on accounts. >> jesse: let's go back to our

political expert, joe. >> i am more of a dog person but i think it's always good to vote for the candidate who doesn't want to kill cats. in bill de blasio's defense, he did let most of the criminals out before the parties started. >> he also dropped a groundhog on his head. >> i missed that new cycle. >> he killed a groundhog. >> on a real serious note in our city because we'll have to live here, we have lost souls, the homeless, the emotionally disturbed. a society who doesn't take care of our animals is certainly not going to take care of our homeless and/or emotionally disturbed. we need compassion. elected officials need to show compassion and most do not. and i intend on changing that equation here in new york city when i become air.

[cheers and applause] >> jesse: and thank you for speaking directly to the emotionally disturbed. one of them took off tonight. not saying it is gutfeld. but i am. don't go away. we will be right back. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ limu emu & doug ♪

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♪ ♪ >> jesse: time for final thoughts. katie p. >> i think sometime you should make him eat verso to make sure doesn't kill him. just a thought, may be a food test. no drink, just be on your game. >> jesse: i will keep an eye out. johnny? >> great job tonight. you were as comfortable as a

professor who hates capitalism. which is a good performance, especially for the product back pressure a first time hosting the show. if you like tonight's show, you will laugh a lot more in des moines, iowa, or jacksonville, florida, or richmond, virginia, some of my upcoming court dates which you can find on the website. [applause] >> when you guys go to sandals, he will come home with a lot more cats. >> jesse: thank you, kat thank you curtis. set your dvr so you never miss an episode. and our lovely studio audience. got filled will not be seen tomorrow night. i repeat, he will not be seen tomorrow night. we will have special coverage of the california recall election, be 30 is next. -- "fox news @ night" is next.

i'm jesse watters and i love you too come america. ♪ ♪ >> shannon: hello and welcome to "fox news @ night." shannon bream from a brand-new set in washington. raking tonight round 2 for antony blinken begins in a few hours. the secretary of state testified before a's senate committee. plenty of fireworks as republicans last administration's handling of the afghanistan withdrawal. and sitting by the live to break it