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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  September 22, 2021 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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>> our executeddive producer's big birthday. believe saa big la crosse player in college. i think he's gonna go pro any day now. happy birthday, tommy. you make the show work every night. it's a big team effort every night. thank you for watching. remember it's america now and forever. greg gutfeld takes it all from here. >> i will never apologize for standing up for lgdp, lbg - - lbgtq plus kids' rights to not have to undergo cub version therapy. >> quick, someone help him by replace lease - - quick, someone help him by releasing more black face photos. r for. ♪♪ [applause]
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>> happy wednesday. the politico just published quite the bomb shell. the e-mails from hunter biden's laptop were authenticated. imagine that. authenticating things we already knew to be true. so what are you gonna tell us next? hunter reichs blow and hookers? who doesn't, though? well done, fellows, everybody in the media take the year off. too late you already had. this news come from a new book but it's not new to any of us thanks to the reporting of the new york post. it was only because the rest of the media wanted joe bide toon win that it was buried faster than your kid's guinea pig you accidently stepped on because you were drunk. just for old time's sake, let's report the so-called news. a person who had independent access confirms two of the e-mails the post published including one about a potential deal with china th the line "10 held by h for the big guy"
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that is joe biden. i'm guessing that 10, though, had more zeros following it than joy reed's twitter account. we already knew this because we didn't ignore hunter's former business partner tony, love that name. he confirmed them forever ago. the e-mail - - i know who knew sweden had a government. anyway, it's that china e-mail that matters. it reveals the bidens were in kahoots to make butt load of money with the enemy. thanks to the press and big tech it didn't. they're more rotten than a month old bag salad. just for old time's sake let's look back at how the compliant media treated this story when it first came out. first, cnn, check out these graphics. how the newest anti-biden narrative was manufactured.
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and u.s. authorities investigating if recently published e-mails are tied to russians. this information effort targeting biden. the reliable sources, my a. i say should eat some crow but he might go into toxic shock because it's a protein. his only reliable source is a bucket of raw cookie dough. and remember n-p-r? why haven't you seen any stories from npr about the new york post hunter biden story? we don't want to waist our time on stories that are not really stories. yeah, right, npr, you do that. ignore that story and focus instead on a legally blind transgendered pony who makes a living doing porn. pretty good stuff, by the way. mere -fs msnbc, why does rudy giuliani have access to pedal this disinformation repeatedly? this is not sensorship, facebook is under no obligation to dispute a report that appears to contain disinformation, enjoy retweets.
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good for joe biden no need to dignify a russian hatchet job. we're not doing e-mails again, america. come on, joy. you get any dumber we're going to start calling you don lemon. remember that letter signed by 50 former intel officers? hunter biden's story is russian disinfo, dozens of former intel officials say. either they were duped or they were traders. that letter came together faster than a new bong at kat's house. yet all the hacks swallowed that b.cism like it was beluga caviar. max boot, david corn, ben roads, tommy, remember evan mcmullin? he doesn't. the list, the list of dolts goes on and on thanks to drew hold whoop compiled them. that must be a guiness book world record for [bleep] that high. it's so cute to see these dopes who painted trump as a russian spy while burying biden's connection to china then get mad
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at the dope they elected. yet the same press now cries because the guy they carried to the white house now won't answer their questions. >> i think we'd be okay if we could just have a couple of questions, just a couple of questions - - >> he's, do questions. [clambering] >> [multiple people speaking] >> i have no idea. i hope the microphone got it. >> this reporter get questions - >> wow, he's less eager to attend a press conference than brian laundry's parents. the iron a is this rich as a shareholder, afghanistan, the drone strike, inflation, covid, division, polarization, crime, and the haitians who prove living under bridges isn't just for americans anymore.
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in just eight short months biden turned america from us first to dead last. like my favorite blowup doll, gladys, joe's presidency has quickry deflated.en like gladys he doesn't answer questions either. i prefer it that way. he didn't really want to run. he knew he was as done as burnt rib eye. he just wanted to go back to delaware and wander into neighbors' yards without his pants on. just like the good old days. it's all in the press. and they still love to bury things. take the border. for months horrifying video relaid to hell what was going on. they ran from that fool-footage like it was an incoming zoom call from jeffrey tubin. the media only cared when they found that one image they could use to demonize border patrol. now surprise, surprise, the so-called whipping has been downgraded to wielding, then whirling, and now it's just twirling. it's who. next? wooing? they were wooing them. turns out the only things getting whipped at the border are joe's and kamala asses.
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they will continue to use it every time they argue th the same person. that paper is nomosly fake stories and corrections. i would line my bird cage with it then i'd end up with a parrot who will hate america, praise china and demand a non non-cis gender pronoun. no, joy, they weren't whips, they were reigns. >> i was not aware that whips, um, which come from the slave era, slavery era, were part of the package that we issue to any law enforcement or government sanctioned personnel. were you aware that people have that kind of equipment on them they can use on humans? >> she has to be a plant. you'd think she'd know a little about being an equestrian for
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all the horse [bleep] she produces. i'm just happy i was able to say equestrian. i practiced in the mirror with a riding crop. anyway. now as the whip story evaporates rates under the glare of common common sense so shall the border problem unless they can find one more image that will impune americans. if only that the was something that on hunter's laptop, then they would report the [bleep] out of it. >> welcome. when he takes his shots at the left he hits from a three-point range, the rubin host dave rubin. she's so southern she moisturizes with bricks. fox business network anchor dagen mcdowell. he was born in saudi arabia which is why we call him our little prince, the guy benson show host, guy benson.
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and they play her voice to make gitmo prisoners tough. fox news contributor, to the. welcome back to the show, dave, the last time you were on was the first show, am i correct in that? dave: that is correct, greg. gladys, your inflatable girlfriend, we went out to dinner she did noted shut up the entire time. i am shocked. >> greg: that was not gladys, that was glen. having hormone treatments hence the weight gain. >> dave: before we do anything else i came on the first show which was in april. >> greg: right. >> dave: and i said on the first show you would be number one in late night by the end of the year. you did it in four months. >> greg: yes. >> dave: four months. [applause] and it's unclear to me whether it's because you're so charming and handsome and witty or
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whether the other guys are so absolutesly horrible. i'm trying to figure it out. greg: i think my competition is kind of sad and pathetic. but i'm not gonna let that stop me from reveling in my success. i'm still a winner dave. >> dave: you're going out with gladys tonight. >> greg: i'm a big winner. gladys is dead to me now. i can have any blowup doll i want. where are we in this segment? you have a thought? >> dave: look, on the stuff that you were just talking about, the idea who y couldn't talk about the laptop and now we can talk about the laptop... it's like everybody's a conspiracy theorist until you're proven right. you're not gone believe this, i've got one for you. >> greg: what. >> dave: i think there's a chance that covid came from a lab - - >> greg: yes. >> dave: in wuhan. >> greg: dagen, welcome to the show, i can say that. >> dagen: yes, you can. >> greg: the fact that all this stuff is true matter?
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its rutter nay going to reverse anything. to dave p's point it doesn't matter that they're talking about it now. >> dagen mcdowell: i think it does and by the way thank you for this blowup of hunter biden in front of me. i'm like lot's wife. i should look away or i'll turn into a pillar of salt or cocaine. >> greg: if you do turn into a pillar of cocaine no offense if we dive on you. >> dagen: please. >> and delivered to the police immediately [laughter] >> dagen: i think this is gonna back fire on the biden administration because there are serious reporters who are upset. rather than cover papa biden who acts like grand pappy who's taken his hearing aids out, that's what he looked like. renders who. sitting there th the hearing aids out kind of with a glazed look on his face, can't hear you. reporters are going to want to be on the hunter biden beat and dig up compromising dirt on bide the whole enterprise.
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you get to travel the globe, ukraine, mexico, china, the left coast, and you get to go to all the places that are privileged dumb ass crack head would hang out. jiggle joints, strip club, art gallery, bougie hotels. >> shat ew marmont, you don't pronounce the t, i heard. no rock star was no kicked out of there. people die there, he got banned i almost love him for that. guy, here's a question for you, should we, should the republicans - - i'm not a republican - - should the republicans start impeachment proceedings not just against biden but against justin trudeau? >> as he was just bungling lggtq you could tell how embarrassed he was getting he was red-faced not black face, which is rare for him. - - >> greg: what's the combination if he's red face and black face?
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>> guy: i think just black face, that's my understanding. i'm still confused why you're the only person who's allowed to compliment dagen's appearance, you're the only person here with a wife. >> greg: yes. i'm just traveling. you were married, dave is married - - all of us are married. >> guy: all of us are married, just you're the only one to a wife. that's all i'm saying. now, look, on the hunter biden justin trudeau would be freaking out. what do we call them? which letter are they? can i talk about hunter biden for a second. the story reminded me again to go down the rabbit hole of how deeply creepy the suppression of that whole enterprise wassal. i mean, the new york post, not only got ignored and you went through all all of it in the monologue and how they were ledge legitimized, the new york post was not allowed to tweet anything for weeks. that is bonkers. one of the most important things
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about this revelation from politico is it's not like these e-mail were about hunter biden's colorful personal life. they were about his foreign business dealings, about which his father said he had never heard anything, never spoke to his son, and that appears to be very much contradicted. that's not about the president's or then candidate's family, that's about the candidate now presidents. i wonder if we can revisit all of it now. are we allowed to talk about it now? greg: i think so, and also part of it is the fact that the media and big tech were involved. that's where you have an investigation in itself. shouldn't we ask how did the big tech get involved in this? what were those phone calls like? >> it's so clear-cut too. i'm not a cyber security expert, but - - >> greg: are you a homosexual. no. >> then that's okay. >> i'm a gay man on the inside. >> greg: there's a joke i'm just trying to suppress, it's gone.
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that's not the only thing [laughter] >> nicely done. it's about time someone said i. but i would just think that if there's a laptop that has tons of pictures of the same guy smoking crack, then it's probably that guy's laptop. but if it's not, wouldn't that mean that he had a traveling crack bender photographer? >> yes. >> that would also be an interesting story. >> exact le. >> if it wasn't his laptop and you really believed that, you would have a chased that story because that's even crazier. they knew it was his laptop the whole time which is why they said that it wasn't. did you hear jen's explanation for why he didn't answer any questions? she said it was boris johnson's fault because they did not warn the white house that they would be asking questions. which is probably because answering questions is a pretty normal thing to do for the leader of a free country.
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>> greg: they threw boris johnson under the lory. i know it's amazing isn't it? this comes from right out of here. >> that was incredible. >> greg: we gotta move. up next late night host generates hot air, to show how much they care. oh! are you using liberty mutual's coverage customizer tool? sorry? well, since you asked. it finds discounts and policy recommendations, so you only pay for what you need. limu, you're an animal! who's got the bird legs now? only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ i don't just play someone brainy on tv - i'm an actual neuroscientist. and i love the science behind neuriva plus. unlike ordinary memory supplements, neuriva plus fuels six key indicators of brain performance. more brain performance? yes, please!
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the best things america makes are the things america makes out here. the history she writes in her clear blue skies. the legends she births on home town fields. and the future she promises. when we made grand wagoneer, proudly assembled in america, we knew no object would ever rank with the best things in this country. but we believed we could make something worthy of their spirit. michael: this is the story of two brothers. david: my grandfather, pinchas. michael: my great-great- grandfather, rachmaiel. gigi: pinky and rocky. simi: there was an uprising in poland. david: and then the family broke apart.
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michael: they scattered around in different places. gigi: they worked hard. simi: and built new lives. michael: but rocky and pinky's families didn't see each other again... all: ...until now. david: more than 100 years later, ancestry helped connect us to our ancestors and each other.
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♪♪ >>greg: to save us from our climate sins, some hosts are generating wind. did you hear it's climate night and our late night talk show saviors are all pitching in. yeah, they're trying to save us just like jim jones. check out this picture, not that one. they don't look that funny. i don't know. they all look like they got crushed by the king of late
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night, greg gutfeld. they also, they also look like a really weird children's show on pbs. which it could be. it's got as many puppets in sesame street, except instead of hands these puppets have their heads up their ass. they're all teaming up to dedicate parts of their show to climate change. seth meyers is interviewing john carry. i think we have a clip. >> i have a treat, a very special treat i stand and look around. >>greg: he is charming. i think he could stear a boat. comedy is dead and so is risk in this land of late night teacher's pets, they went from george carlin, george soros, so what do we do? we provide the 3w589en. without all the stuff they hate everything from modern transportation to popular entertainment would be toast. life expectation hence would
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plummet, schools, hospitals and businesses would close and you'd have to slaughter your own animals for meat. that's just the first week. and our use of fossil fuels correlates with langer lives, higher incomes and thinner hotter bodies. this was the typical human being before fossil fuels. and this is a typical human after. yeah. [applause] thank you. it caught me totally by surprise. in other words it's called human progress. without it there would be no technology, and no entertainment, and no late night tv. without it jimmy fallon, he would be a chimney sweep. colbert would be a horse and buggy driver, and kimmel would be a town cryer because he's always crying. fossil fuels help us innovate to reduce our own consequences we're finding more sources of energy and cleaner ways to use it with nixs the predictions of
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the al gores and john kerry's in the world who say we're doomed who still enjoy more beach front living than the cast of bay watch. for more on this, let's check in with planet earth who released this statement earlier today. >> late night talk show host, i'm the most powerful planet on the planet as much co2 as it wishes and your solution is to spend one shell on climate change? pathetic. no wonder your last three presidents have beach homes in your climate czar uses private jets. my smart watch is telling me to start moving. toodle-oo. >>greg: that might be our biggest guest. >> kat: yeah. >>greg: we don't get the clooneys - - we got the world. >>greg: we got earth. a well-rounded guest, i might add. 80 percent water, much like you. >> yeah. well, why are you - - isn't everybody 80 percent water?
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>>greg: coming out of your eyes all the time. >> i haven't cried in a while. >>greg: that will change. >> give me 5 minutes. you gonna ask me a question? >>greg: the question is what are you going to watch tonight? are you gonna watch any of this? >> no, because i already know what they're gonna say. >>greg: yes. i don't think that what they needed was to have their jokes be more predictable and i don't like the idea of a themed show of all the shows on any topic because they're lin lock step, that completely all eliminates any independent thought whatsoever. >>greg: do you think all of them had to do it because they're all scared to death of being - - >> the one person who doesn't? no, they had to. when i saw this news i i was like wait, are late night comedians going to do an evening of political activism? finally. final a, we're going to see what these people believe about matters that have nothing to do with comedy. i think actually because i'm sure there are a lot of people including some of these folks
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who genuinely believe this is an existential crisis to this earth, they have policies of what to do, i would probably disagree with some of those policies. if hey didn't lecture -s all the other nights on politics this might have more of an impact so everyone just rolls their eyes and tunes into gutfeld. >>greg: exactly. the boy who cried apocalypse. let them applaud. dagen, i'm afraid to ask you how you will celebrate climate day, i will anyway. how will you celebrate climate day? dagen: burning something in the street. like i, you know, do after work every day. >> walk around spraying axe body spray into the air. >> that little advertisement was funnier unintentionally than anything these shows have done, the history of the very shows. now one of them had the stones including samantha bee to stand up and say i'm not doing this. i'm not gonna celebrate reducing
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the american standard of living. i'm not gonna talk about making america poor by taking away fossil fuels, which are cheap and plentiful. instead wanna be an elitist pant stain and talk about rules that won't muter y financially i won't have to abide to. to are the same people driving back to their hampton's houses to throw m and ms at the people waiting for the bus. >>greg: i think there's actual proof of that. it's in the next woodward book, i believe. can they ever - - once you go into this direction, will they ever be funny again? it's almost like they've gone to unfunny island, and they can't get off it. >> i will address that but whatever good they do tonight has been completory destroyed by the fact that your people back stage - - do you know how much hair spray they put in my hair to look like this? we completely erased - - there's a tiny bird trapped in there.
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>> um, no, these people - - first off, they all fly private. we all know they fly private, they have probably 20 writers each to make them look that funny so you have to deduct a certain amount of humor at that level. >>greg: all right, well, up next violence is the answer according to the woke college dancer. none us. age-related macular degeneration may lead to severe vision loss, so the national eye institute did 20 years of clinical studies on a formula found in preservision. if it were my vision, i'd ask my doctor about preservision. it's the most studied eye vitamin brand. if it were my vision, i'd look into preservision
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preservision areds 2 contains the exact nutrient formula recommended by the nei to help reduce the risk of moderate to advanced amd progression. i have amd, it is my vision, so my plan includes preservision.
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or stop them without talking to your doctor. when you help heal your skin from within, you can change how your skin looks and feels. and that's the kind of change you notice. talk to your eczema specialist about dupixent, a breakthrough eczema treatment. >> if your speech goes against the bunch, college kids think it's okay to punch. a survey by the foundation for individual rights and foundation found that 23 percent of students support violence to stop a speaker they disagree with. your right is trumped by your mite, what's that sound like to you? fascism. mean while 56 percent of students supported shouting down a campus speaker at four points from last year. so much for free speech, unless they're shouting down kat timpf. that just means they got the check i sent them. >> point park in pittsburgh is
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cracking down on students who don't use one's preferred pronouns. i just go by it. campus report obtained an e-mail from the equity office warning in part misgendering could result in a violation of the policy on discrimination and harassment, and if an individual's impacted in a harmful way action could be taken if a complaint is filed. translation, your life could be ruined if someone accuses you of using the wrong pronoun. even though he, she, they or them could change their preferred pronoun to whatever they want whenever they want, or they could just lie that you misgenderred them. the spokesman told us point park university expects every member of its community, students, faculty and staff to treat each other with respect. translation: please call for help, this place is [bleep] nuts. for more let's go to a college student for comment. >> yo, what up, what up, old man. i don't know what you're talking about. me and all my gen-z college-age friend was y don't have these problems. someone brings up a
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sensitive topic i just say something cool like as if or don't have a cow man. so, peace out, boomer. enjoy your relief factor. [laughter] [no audible dialogue] [applause] >>greg: yes. these findings scare you, guy? guy: yes, because they often say as goes point park university so goes the world. [laughter] >>greg: i've said that. >> guy: we all have. i think that this is a natural outcome of the insane rhetoric that has been pedaled on the left particularly on campuses for a long time. when you tell people over and over again that words are violence - - >>greg: yes. guy: and violence is speech, they'll learn the lesson. >>greg: yes. >> guy: and you'll have increasing numbers of people willing to say if words are violence we must combat the-them with real violence and we're justifyed to do so. >>greg: dave. >> i know we have to do this
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segment quick i'll just say it's a pleasure to be on the number one late night talk show hosted by a beautiful female woman. >>greg: how did you know? >> i got it. >>greg: how did you know none i knew it. >>greg: i decided to identify the other dashing he's a female man. >>greg: kat, if a, if you're attacked by a student who is a guy identifying as a woman, can you punch them? likewise if the woman who attacks you identifies as a man, can you punch him as - - him? >> it's okay, i stopped listening like 10 seconds ago because it doesn't matter. if you are attacked by students for your speech you can turn it into a career. look at dave rubin. >> that is my career. my entire career. >> do they not realize that it just makes them grow stronger? >> that's true. >> i have a big house. >> yeah, he has a very big house with a hot tub. i know - - well, i don't know.
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i i've never been invited. >> you've been mine hot tub. >> that wasn't me. >> wait. >>greg: we're gonna have a chat about this afterwards but that was definitely not me. and i definitely did not throw up in it. dagen, last word to you. >> not just punch you can pull peoples' earrings out, you pull their hair - - >> good point. you can do anything to anybody. from experience. just one last thing, when did college students stop saying no to the man? and no to the system and just saying [bleep] >>greg: there you go. >> when are you gonna do it, when you're 40 sleeping in the bottom bunk of your childhood bedroom and you take off your pants buffalo wild wings because they didn't put enough cheese on your tots? >>greg: there you go. is that when you're going to stand up to the man? >> that was very specific. >>greg: would a female
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double-o-7 be a feminist idea of heaven? are we still exclusive? absolutely. and that's exactly why you should join.
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>>greg: who would not be fond of a female bond? daniel craig would be more at home if double o double-o seven has a y chromosome. he said he would not like to see a female fill the role in the next film. if this were cnn i would go to my 16-person panel to call him a sexist for. brian celter would not come back from lunch. like most things reported on cnn there's more to this story, craig told the radio times quote, there should simply be better parts for women and actors of color. why should a women play james bond when there should be a part just as good as bond but for a woman? that sounds reasonable. after all, no one wans a male princess leia, except for brian - - the pervert. all the. dagen. is he sexist? >> no, but i did see him on
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stage here, in new york, and he looks like old cheese. so he's not that hot in-person. would anybody - - so they've had - - >> they've had three actresses playing queen elizabeth in the crown, are they gonna have a dude? >> they should. >> who, hughe grant. >> i'd i never watch the crown but if it was a drag queen, i would. you know what it's a good point. i mean, you know, what would stop me, dave rubin, from being the first white shaft? >> what would stop you? >> what would stop me. >> from being the first white shaft. now i see why you're number one in late-night. >>greg: see, how about this, i would like to see a white version of the whiz, you could call it the wizard of oz. [laughter] actually aren't you, aren't you the same height as the
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munchkins? >>greg: they're in my family tree. do you have anything to add to this in your pithy insults? and your beautiful hair? >> thank you. the same people who-who tell you that gender doesn't matter are obsessed with gender. nothing they make sense whether they're a male or a female. >>greg: that is true. return who do you make of this, kat? >> i've never seen a james bond movie. >>greg: never? >> it's like he drinks martinis and has sex with people; right? >>greg: right. is he a spy some. >>greg: either that or he works in insurance. i would watch that. i would watch that if it was a guy who drank martinis had sex with people and worked in insurance. >> that's why everybody - - that could be a chick, i just wrote the movie. >> imagine that as your pickup line, you'll be in good hands. >>greg: geico is his cover. we were talking about this the other day at home because i'm excited for the new bond film and i guess he's done after this
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moving and i said swob's gonna try to make it a woman and that's not acceptable. james bond has to be an alcoholic deb debonere womanizer, and if you want to make double o eight and have a woman colleague i would watch the hell out of that movie. >> i would watch-watch an alcoholic lesbian be a james bond. >> how does drinking a lot of martinis making you an alcoholic? asking for a friend. i think double-o seven has a bit of a problem. he manages it well. he's functioning. >>greg: i always thought the message of james bond was that drinking makes you a better person. you never get killed. >>steve keim: you never get killed. his blood. >>greg: his blood is pure. i don't eve known know what that means we should go to break. it's starting to hit me, that stuff is strong. tucker and i finwhich cn inhostn vermin.
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's more of a groundbreake. just look at the way she's reshaping and reimagining her 4 acre slice of heaven. it's not hard to tell she's the real deal. renae runs with us on a john deere 1 series tractor because out here you can't fake a job well done. nothing runs like a deere. hear renae's story at deere.com. when you're entertaining, you want to put out the best snacks that taste great, and come straight from the earth. and last time i checked, pretzels don't grow on trees. just saying. planters. a nut above. ♪ ♪ just saying. life is full of surprises when you least expect it. (woman laughs) and open. what happened to all your things? i know you needed a place to study, so... and other times, it pays off knowing what to expect.
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♪♪ >>greg: tv, tv on the wall, who's the dumbest of them all? yes, the world deserves to know which cnn hack is curly and which one is mo. last night i proclaimed chris cuomo as the second dumbest man on cnn.
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that's like being the second drunkest slow pitch soft ball player. at that network the competition is fierce. for my mini, don lemon remains the champion but not everyone agreed including tucker carlson. >> chris cuomo gets the credit he deserves for being the single dumbest person ever to perform on cable news by comparison he makes don lemon look like a particle physicist or as chris cuomo might call it a make things go boom doctor guy. is it time to decide who has fewer brains inside? short -f an autopsy, there's only one way to find out. >> the great tucker carlson-greg gutfeld debate. >>greg: tonight's debate, which host replace his brain with a steel plate. joining me now, host of tucker carlson tonight, and tucker carlson today, it's tucker carlson. [applause]
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>> thank you, greg. yes. >>greg: it's a friendly chat with tucker about two stupid [bleep]. before we get started let's take a look at some clips, tucker, and remind people who we're dealing with. first, let's start with tucker's choice, mr. cuomo. >> only in america, kids. let's get after it. >> the official from the paper cleared by c-d-c, a little sweaty just worked out it happens. please, show me where it says protesters are supposed to have polite and peaceful. >> in scale this was the actual swab that was being used to fit up that double barrel shotgun that you have mounted on the fronted of your pretty face. >>greg: no doubt that was pretty dumb, but can don beat that? >> democratic cities are in chaos right now, crime is rise. oh, my gosh it's so bad,
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defunding police. >> the president is a racist, and he is a demigod, believing the lighthousen internet instead of - - the lies on the internet instead of science it's time to start shaming them. >> i don't know what they eat, what they drink, what they smoke. >> i don't have it now, because you can see i got all these wrinkle everybody asks me when are you gonna get botox? >> both stupid. while i contend that cuomo makes dumber decisions than lemon, lemon is just naturally slower. cuomo is more of a performer where lemon just speaks his mind which explains his stupidity. so, tucker, persuade me that i am incorrect. let me just say we disagree but we don't need to have disagreeable, we're friends, i don't want this in any way to affect our long-standing friendship. i agreed with you for many years. i thought that chris cuomo was putting on an act. you know, the weight lifting, the calling the bro talk, the huge swab. i thought he was, like, bowser on shanana
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columbia. it was a part. >>greg: what a reference. >> and then i watched him because i used to work at cnn, i know people there, i pay attention. that guy is every bit as stupid as he seems. he went to yale law school, his dad was the gov morph new york at the time, and he doesn't know what's in the first first amendment. he has zero sense of humor, which is always a tell. but here is the absolute settling factor. he speaks only in cliches. if you listen carefully to chris cuomo, you will find not a single phrase that you can't instantly get on instagram. all of it. because dumb people cliche speaking. don lemon by contrast, he gets the joke. he sort of knows i'm a guy with no skills, i was a local news avenger in atlanta -
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- news anchor in atlanta and look where i am now he finds the whole thing hilarious. >>greg: that was fairly persuasive. i'm gonna have the audience vote after we get to the point of this. i will say that don lemon, his stupidity was unmatched when he claimed that violence in the cities didn't exist because he just went out and had a nice meal. so it's like - - he is in a full - - and i honestly, you could - he, he felt that because he was recognized he was on the street - - and they requisite recognized me, it was great y had a nice meal. therefore there were no assaults and homicides. >> that's not stupidity, that's narcissism. you live in the don lemon bubble and everything is great in don lemon world. at all times. and that's kind of what i like about him. >>greg: so you enjoy don lemon because he's not very bright, and he knows it. >> he's mr. rork from fantasy
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island. >> welcome to don lemon's world. >>greg: i mean that is so corinthian leather about him. so unbelievably cheesy in a 1979 way i just i don't know, he's hao y pushes my buttons. >> you really are diplomatic. i was going to ask you you fish a lot who would you like to go fishing with? obviously it would have to be with don. don lemon in his very famous interview on the record at lunch referred in fact ordered for dessert lemon sor-bet, and when corrected he said i'm afraid it's pronounced sor-bet. he did not acknowledge that ho had no idea how to pronounce the frozen dessert, and he wasn't embarrassed. my dream is to have a long dinner with don lemon. >>greg: do you know what i think unites both of those candidates for dumbest person at cnn is the lack of embarrassment. >> yes. >>greg: they go out there, they deliver the same type every day, but they wake up and they're as
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happy as clams. >> i disagree, i disagree. chris cuomo's totally tormented return yo watch chris cuomo and there's a deep self loathing. like, he knows how dumb he is, and he's mad about it. that's what the, you know, anabolic steroids are about obviously. don lemon is totally happy in his mindless haze. >>greg: i want to ask the panel here. who's being most persuasive here, dave? >> i think tucker's winnerring here, but i think the next time you do this you need to wide than net to msnbc because get joy reed in there and then it's almost impossible. >>greg: we could pit joy reed against - - >> he weaponnizes it. >>greg: nichole wallace. next week we can do joy reed versus nichole wallace or we can do brian stelter versus breanna keller is that her name? the former morning zoo girl from the am radio show in yakima
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washing washington. >> she's not even on the list, she y doesn't qualify. the woman, not joy reed, the other one on msnbc is so loathsome, i am proud to say i have never uttered her name since i met her in 1999 when she was jeb bush's flack. she was nasty and stupid then, she's worse now. >> this might be the greatest segment. i see you guys looking at me with - - >> i'm just amazed by the expertise that you both have about the cnn programs. are you the only people in america who watch these shows? [applause] >> you make the point, the people who watch those shows are dumber than - - >> they watch it because it's so damn funny. it's funnier than late night comics. tucker we gotta roll, thank you so much for participating in our inaugural debate. >> and we're still friends. >> don't go away, we'll be right
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>> greg: we are out of time, thanks. [cheers and applause] guy benson, kat timpf, tucker carlson, our studio audience. "fox news @ night," shannon bream is next. i love you, america! >> shannon: welcome to "fox news @ night," very busy news night. buckle up. a growing crisis on our southern border where an encampment in texas is being compared to a third world country. latest images showing thousands of haitian migrants under a bridge and rapidly deteriorating condition waiting for processing by the u.s.

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