people would like to say we are done with covid but covid is not done with us and that's really the problem. you can't wish it away. >> laura: we are just done with you, anthony. four weeks in the college football season, millions upon millions of college football fans attending the games. no super-spreader events. that's it for us tonight. "gutfeld!" is next. ♪ ♪ >> greg: hello, nashville! we are at the listening room in nashville, here all week. boy, is it great to see you. after spending so many years in

new york city, coming here is like taking a worm, sudsy bath after living in joy behar's armpit. believe me, if i could move here, i would already be here. which means it's time for... ♪ ♪ gutfeld presents: why new york is horrible and stupid and we need to get the hell out of there as soon as possible. please help us. apparently no matter what befalls the big apple, nyc remains the media capital of the world. it's weird. like declaring afghanistan best placed opener gay friendly bed-and-breakfast. i have tried. in new york city you can be pushed in front of a subway train by a guy wearing nothing but a smile and a hospital bracelet. but really the broadway shows are to die for. nothing makes you forget about your grandma getting mugged for her false teeth in a matinee showing of "hello dolly." have you tried our new york

famous bagels? try a local deli. follow the police chalk outlines on the sidewalk. be sure to step over the bodies to get to it. the good news is every homicide comes with a free pickle and a bag of chips. i want to get out of new york but i have to convince more than my wife. there is my mistress and her kids. three separate states. also i have to convince fox. how do i do that without threatening to go public with those pictures of steve doocy like you've never seen him before? they are disgusting. we can only show you the upper half. we know that the bosses are watching the show right now. that's because people haven't seen a hit this big since the last video hunter biden puffing on his crack pipe. thoughts and prayers. maybe i should compare and contrast both cities. today we went all over nashville and looked at what makes a good city.

real estate, stability, cleanliness of the massage parlors. [cheers and applause] they love their massage parlors. so does brian kilmeade. i kid. he thinks a happy ending is when someone makes it to the end of one of his books. here it goes. the comparisons. first let's check out nashville's food. how great does this look? i love the barbecue here. it's so good, it has peta asking for seconds. let's show new york city. that is a rat enjoying a slice of pizza. yes, one we get a pizza with everything on it, we mean it. how about fashion? all over nashville, great, great looks, hats, boots. it may not be your cup of tea but who doesn't want to see

tyrus in chaps and bolo tie? [cheering] we do love our cowboys, except for kat. she thinks high noon means her lunchtime bong hits. here is nyc fashion. >> ♪♪ mama, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys ♪♪ what about real estate? here's a house in nashville. so much space for all your stuff. here is one in manhattan. >> welcome back. this listing right in the heart of manhattan open concept, super charming. right now it's 1.5 million asking price. oh, the tenant is still here. >> hi. do you want me to show you

around? >> that would be fantastic. >> greg: [laughs] there is no bathroom. don't need our bathroom. you always hear about southern hospitality. here is nashville. [cheers and applause] pretty good, pretty good, pretty good. stop. here is nyc. [bleep] [bleep] >> oh, oh! all my [bleep] [bleep]

[bleep] speaker i am still waiting for my pizza. >> you're not getting it. >> greg: [laughs] still waiting for his pizza. i can't blame them for being mad. they thought they had tickets to see a comedy show. turns out that it was for jimmy kimmel. if you watch closely, he'll start crying. what about entertainment? here's nashville. you can walk into any bar and you've got incredibly talented local bands kicking some major ass. here is nyc. >> hey, hey, hey, hey. [cheering] >> greg: look. it's good to see chris cuomo is moonlighting.

poor guy. anyway. so i think we know who won this contest here. the other problem with new york city, it's full of people who never leave new york city. if they do leave and there isn't two shrinks per block, they come apart faster than biden's teeth on the cob of corn. they know everything about vegan sushi but nothing about the world. for example, would you believe that photo of border patrol agents going around on horses with riding crop sweeping people? you didn't because you're normal. you are not joy reid. but in new york city where every person is either homeless or once sexually harassed by a cuomo or sometimes both, these people are as gullible and stupid as the studio audience for "the view." apparently the media thought these were whips. i understand. the only time new yorkers see actual webs are at their s&m

sessions. that's where i met john rich. owes me 40 bucks. worth every penny. it's always like liberals to see things that aren't there. i wonder what else they think are whips. >> whips. whips. whips. whips. whips. whips. oranges. >> greg: we have a hellish problem at the border and the dope from delaware had one solution: lets ban horses. has this guy created one job? he has fight unemployment among horses. people like to joke about how stupid everyone else's down south or up north or in flyover country but the moment they step

outside their liberal bubble, it's like watching tyrus wear khakis. meanwhile. >> tyrus: hell no. >> greg: i'm almost done. the rest of america brims with common sense, the kind that tells you know, they are not whipping them. they are trying to control the horse on unstable terrain. you don't have to be the lone ranger to figure that out so that's why you want to leave. we'd be happy here. but don't you people get a swelled head. we already have one of those. they call him jesse. don't clap for him. welcome tonight's guests. he's so southern, his blood type is sweet tea. hey, aoc, good luck taxing this rich! country music star and host of "the pursuit" on fox business, john rich. she still haunts jim acosta's dreams.

and nightmares. former white house press secretary and co-host of "outnumbered," kayleigh mcenany. she's like a one hundred dollar bill: valuable but covered in cocaine. fox news contributor kat timpf. and his 10-gallon hat actually holds 40 gallons. my massive sidekick and the nwa's world television champion, tyrus. you know, john, you live here. is that one reason not to move here? every time i go to nashville, you try to make me shoot guns. >> john: you're here all week. if you have a couple hours, we should go shoot guns. we have a second amendment that's alive and well in the south. so yes, if you want to go shoot some guns, you want to go fish, listen to some country music, write a four wheeler, eat a

bunch of barbecue. >> greg: that's my wednesday. >> john: i don't see how anybody still lives in new york, to your point. >> greg: you come to new york. there has got to be something redeeming. >> john: i used to love going to new york. i was at ground zero yesterday playing a concert for titles to towers. thousands of people. for tunnels to towers. is a lot of great people in new york, there's great people. there was a different vibe. i've never seen that when i was driving down. it's been about a year. the cops look on edge. the air feels different. i'm like man, i always love new york more than l.a. the people there. >> greg: comparing anything to l.a. i like psoriasis more than i like ellie. >> john: that's true but it was definitely a different vibe. >> greg: it sad, steve. you might be one of the few people on the planet that just moved to new york.

>> kayleigh: i am the only crazy person. i still live in the free and loving state of florida but i have a lot of days. my husband used to play for the new york mets. the deathtrap of new york city. >> greg: that's baseball, right, tyrus? >> tyrus: i'm stuck on you and me wearing khakis. is anyone seeing you wearing khakis? >> greg: i've been seen in a pair of khakis. >> tyrus: on this show? >> greg: not recently. >> tyrus: okay, go ahead. we'll run out of stuff to talk about. i choose to dress this way. >> greg: that's what i'm saying. >> tyrus: khakis don't work with my skin tone. people with the guy didn't have pants on. same tone. people would think i didn't have pants on. >> greg: it always has to be about race, doesn't it. >> tyrus: you went there. you wanted to see me in khakis. >> greg: you can't pull off

khakis. >> kat: why? >> tyrus: i can pull off some khakis. next time you show up with khakis, i'll pull them off. >> greg: it's an elaborate plan. >> you call me drunk at geraldo's house. i showed up. you are wearing khakis. >> greg: i was wearing a smile. kat, how are you doing? >> kat: i'm okay but i do have to leave new york. you hear my voice. kayleigh, give it a few years. you're going to sound just like me. i'm 32 years old. i'm rapidly aging in that city. it's destroying me. it's destroying all of us. i need to move. maybe here. i will say if i could, i came up from florida for the first time to new york. >> kayleigh: within an hour, a rat scurried across my feet.

there is a domestic violence dispute in my hallway and there was a man peeing on the side of the road. >> greg: i dream for days like that. we've got to move on. enough new york city bashing. i still like new york. as long as fox is still there. you have to understand, our monologue wasn't for anybody at home. targeted at my boss. and they're going to look at the ratings and go maybe he's got a point. anyway. i should shut up now. i still have a job. national, we are still getting started. nashville.

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>> greg: can they resurrect kamala and avoid any more trauma-la. anything for a rhyme. kamala is working up a sweat because her career is in the toilet. vice president kamala harris is failing so miserably she hopes to new senior advisors will be able to lend her a helping hand or not the kind you get from the cuomo brothers. between her fits of laughter and the border rashi avoids the late don lemon avoids thinking, theyl have their work cut out for them. the brother-in-law of everyone's favorite white house press secretary, jen psaki. kayleigh, just kidding. you're our favorite. [applause]

she is our favorite until dana perino is on this friday. back to kam. vanilla ice has a brighter future and you don't even know who he is. the democrats had such high hopes for her but she is disappointed them more than brian stelter's letdown jenny craig. nothing to keep her spirit down. >> [laughs] [laughs] [laughs] >> all right. >> [laughs] what do you want to know? >> i want to give you the opportunity. >> greg: you know, i'm sorry but her laugh is like a smooth glass of fresh milk if you are lactose intolerant and end up with explosive diarrhea. that's what her laugh is like in

many ways, kayleigh. your expertise. why is she failing so badly? >> kayleigh: may i circle back? >> greg: oooh. how about that. >> kayleigh: going to answer. i don't circle back. i have an answer. she's failing so badly because she doesn't know how to communicate. she has hired people who are professionals and strategic medication but nothing she does and strategic. afghans are falling from planes, she laughing. the borders on fire. she's laughing. this woman will never be the next president of the united states. mark my word. you can rollback the tape if i'm wrong. >> greg: we will. what about you, kat? do you have advice for this woman? she is in a lot of trouble and you love to help troubled women. she is. you should see her account on tinder. >> kat: i am married now. it's been about five months. >> greg: you beat my estimate by two months.

>> kat: i know. still going strong. this guys going to be doing organizational development. what is that? i have no idea. i know of those two words mean. i get that it's a communication thing but she hired two communications people. what she should do is maybe hire people that are going to help her do a better job rather than focusing on hiring people who are maybe going to help convince people that she's doing a better job than she's doing. doing well for this country should mean more than how she looks at her image. >> greg: hiring crisis management because she's a crisis. tyrus, should she start wearing khakis? >> tyrus: yes. i am trying to think of a point in my life when someone came up to me and said "i know someone who can help you" to my brother-in-law. it ended up being a good thing. the article is like, jen psaki's

brother-in-law. they're going to hire someone in the administration that you're working with that's already failing miserably. which tells me that you're doing this on purpose. how can i make them hate me more? let me get psaki's brother-in-law to come up and tell me how to do any of the jobs that i don't really want to do in the first place. it's a matter of perception. i thought we kind of god a sneak peek when she was running on her own and america said no. they put her with biden. i guess that was going to change things. then when she got in the white house, america still said no. so does she need to hire new people or does she need to look in the mirror and be like, it's time for us to get something straight. she has got to come to jesus. >> kat: the tenor profile is like that, when someone is like

you need to help me with my profile, make it look better. no, it's you. >> greg: it's too late. john, i want to tell you my advice and then you can tell me your advice. my advice, you know where you can buy these shock bracelets. every time she has the urge to giggle like a 13-year-old girl meeting justin bieber, give her a mild sap on the wrist. people do this with their bad habits. i used two where one that i was a child on my left wrist which was kind of funny because i was right-handed. it really didn't work. i still didn't beat that habit. john, you said in the break but if you had something good to say they could help her. >> john: everybody is cracking on her and i thought there's got to be a positive. so i thought you know what, i've had the same cell phone number

since 1999, the same number. i've never changed it. that means there's a lot of people that call me from time to time that i don't want to hear from anymore. they are of noxious. oh, god, this is somebody i met 15 years ago. i decided to make a ringtone with kamala, i want you to hear my ringtone. i've assigned this ringtone to everyone i don't want to answer the phone. would you like to hear it? it sounds like this. >> [laughs] >> john: if i hear that song, i go, ain't answering that call. thank you, kamala. thank you. >> greg: you know what she needs to do? she needs to seek out the root causes of why she's so incompetent. that's what she's got to do. up next, survivor votes down a masculine sound.

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simparica trio. >> greg: the tribe voted down the gender pronoun. can he claim immunity from the gender of this community? i speak of the survivor host. for 20 years on the show he has invited contestants to gather around his signature phrase which is, then, guys. it's also with the sciences above kevin spacey's jacuzzi. i made that mistake too many times. on the season premiere of the new season, he had second thoughts over the word guys. >> i love saying it. it's part of the show but i too want to be of the moment so my question to you to decide for

us, in the context of "survivor," is a word like guys okay or is it time to retire them. >> i think guys is okay. as a woman, as a queer woman, i do not feel excluded. we feel okay keeping guy? >> greg: that was close? now they can focus on more important matters like not getting worms in their butt. why i would not do any reality shows in the wild. i wouldn't want anything coming home inside me unless i asked for and paid the debts into one contestant had some deep thoughts before deciding it should go. >> i don't agree we should use the word guys. i fully agree that we should change it, whether it's just dropping it, changing into something else. i don't really agree with it. >> the reality is, surviving has changed over the last 21 years, and those changes have allowed

all of us, the brown people, black people, asian people, so many queer people to be here. >> i want to change. i'm glad it's the last time i will ever say. and realizing someone is on social media saying "he caved." >> greg: yes, jeff, that's exactly what happens. why don't you ask the content that's what think of a white guy that's in charge of tribe. and with that, the word guys is now gone from the show that i forgot was still on. anyway, you might not remember this but i was actually on "survivor" in season one. i was eliminated after i lost the monkey challenge. >> [bleep] [bleep] [laughter] >> greg: i always told those little critters, only inside, not outside.

all right, tyrus. do you know what i love about this story? >> tyrus: i would love to know because i don't love any of it. >> greg: this is a show where people fight to survive. the physical ailments. the outdoors. they are supposed to kill for food, find stuff. the real threat, guys. goes totally against survivor. if you want to scare these people, just go "hey, guys." they are all messed up in the head, tyrus. >> tyrus: yeah. i am trying to think how i can word this but i just don't care. two things. i was always told we did something wrong to plead down to a lesser offense. so if you got caught cheating, you are merely at a job interview that went long. when i'm going to say is that he has done something.

they said you've got to figure this out. got to get ahead of this. one of you got? we're going to get rid of "guys." they were like, we still have -- that's brilliant. nothing is more offensive when you walk in a room, i can tell you right now. if i was in this bar and i ordered a drink and the guy said the guy wants of beer, i would tear this place apart. i cannot tell you how many times the word guy has affected my life and my opportunities for growth in my dreams of being an astronaut were shattered because he was like, this guys not going to fit. there is that damn guy. i am a human being man and i will be respected and you will not call me guy. he will call me everyone. >> greg: there you go. everyone. >> kat: i'm a guy.

>> greg: you're definitely a guy. >> tyrus: don't be a guying year-round. >> greg: john, i think tyrus is correct. i think he saw what happened to the dude on "the bachelor." i'm going to go ahead of this may will roll over before they asked me to roll over. >> john: it's possible that he is that smart. it's possible. listen, anybody in nashville knows there's a really easy way to fix this. all you have to do is say, then, y'all. problem solved. >> greg: what is y'all short for? >> john: you all. >> greg: [laughs] i just wanted to make sure kat heard that. >> kat: thank you. it is so unlike you to throw me under the bus. sp2 [laughs] [laughs] we all did. do you think this is to preempt something else? can we agree that when we look

at everybody on "survivor," you don't need any pronouns. they all look like idiots. is that right? it's kind of depressing. oh, my god, was happening to reality contestants? are we running out of them? >> kat: it wasn't until i saw this story that i realized it was still on. congrats. you notice of course he asked everyone and none of the women were mad about it. then a guy is like, three days later, i'm upset. but then he said "i'm with you." i love this. i'm glad it's the last time i'll ever say this and it felt really overproduced. it had a real chris cuomo emerging from the basement bible. >> greg: you're right. definitely set up. >> kat: they were like listen, you were supposed to be upset. >> greg: now they got their way. what do you make of this? >> kayleigh: talking to my dad. he said we should change it to

hoss and hossesses. let's worry about all commander in chief who says come on, man. >> greg: good point. you know it's a great idea, i just came up with an idea for a reality show where you have to put together and posit a woke thing and they lose every time they agreed to a woke idea. then the last person. >> kat: we call it "normal people." >> greg: excellent. coming up, her boyfriend couldn't hang out yet so instead she called in a bomb threat. (announcer) if you've struggled to lose weight, you might think

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we repaired the chip before it could crack. and with their insurance, it was no cost to them. >> woman: really? >> tech: that's service you can trust, when you need it most. ♪ pop rock music ♪ >> singers: ♪ safelite repair, safelite replace. ♪ shingles? camera man: yeah, 1 out of 3 people get shingles in their lifetime. well that leaves 2 out of 3 people who don't. i don't know anybody who's had it. your uncle had shingles. you mean that nasty red rash? and donna next door had it for weeks. yeah, but there's nothing you can do about it. camera man: actually, shingles can be prevented. shingles can be whaaaat? camera man: prevented. you can get vaccinated. baby, call the doctor. camera man: hey! you can also get it from your pharmacist! 50 years or older? get vaccinated for shingles now. >> greg: and now it's time for "tonight's romantic story." she called in a blast to make love last.

it's -- if time apart is corrosive try calling in an explosive. a33-year-old maine woman who allegedly made to bomb threats to her boyfriend's work so she could spend more time with him. it's a little strange and concerning that it took more than one. a bomb threat. no, we'll wait for the second one. they had to close because of the threat. cops were able to trace the cult of the woman who admitted to making them but said she didn't have any bombs. it turns out she was all talk. just like a woman, am i right? that is something a sexist would say. not me. she was charged with felony, terrorizing, and lying. we have around the show. we go to her for comment. [laughter]

why did you do it? >> i obviously didn't do it, that's a joke. what's not a joke as i did think about it. i'm traveling alone for the first time in a while without my husband and i used to pride myself on being a strong, independent woman. but that's just because i didn't know any better. it's way better this way. today i do make my own coffee. before you say that's not hard, i did it wrong. i did it wrong. very, very hot brownish water. that i had a drink at all. i have to get all the caffeine. i understand. when they were, they can't pay attention to you. >> greg: yes. >> kat: and i deserve a mod of credit for never calling in a bomb threat. not even once. >> greg: kayleigh. i happen to find this to be incredibly romantic story. the most romantic thing i do is

i leave the room to break wind. i am a casanova. what about you, kayleigh? romantic, not romantic? >> kayleigh: romantic story time, maybe you should fill in for delilah. i think you could do it. that was so melodic and poetic. in all seriousness, get a pet. dog, cat, emotional support llama. something instead of calling in bomb threats. >> greg: i don't know. remember when you were in school? you didn't study for the class and that was move the idea of a bomb threat always made sense. in your back pocket. do this. you never really thought about it. >> john: my fourth year of eighth grade, i definitely thought about it. i'm looking at this gal going okay, anybody that wants her man

so bad that she's calling in a bomb threat, i would go home and see what's waiting. >> greg: what you are saying is that you are bomb curious? i don't even know what that means. tyrus, if this guy goes back to work, do you think any of his coworkers are going to let him forget it? >> tyrus: may already know. the story isn't about her. it's about the poor man, the poor bastard who couldn't get away from her to go to work. it's in his car. got to go to work. and then his boy called him and says yo, someone just called in a bomb threat. he is going, i know who it is. walking in the door and she's like, now i can spend more time together. and as he plots killing her and trying to find a way to get rid of the body, how do i get rid of this woman and still make it to work? he tries to leave again because

he decided not to kill her. escapes out the back. she is driving. what does she do? calls and another bomb threat. has to go. the tragic story, the only way out is murder. you've got to go to work. >> kat: [laughs] >> greg: i think -- >> kat: we'll talk later. >> greg: two bomb threats. up next, he's funny and never tacky. stick around for joe mackie. (jackie) i've made progress with my mental health. so when i started having unintentional body movements called tardive dyskinesia... i ignored them. but when the twitching and jerking in my face and hands affected my day to day... i finally had to say, 'it's not ok.' it was time to talk to my doctor about austedo.

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♪ ♪ >> greg: this is part of the show where we usually do some fun story ended up making a weird reference. frankly i am hung over from my first night in nashville and it's a miracle that i made it this far. one of the best things about this show is discovering great new young talent and watching them take off. then there is this guy. please welcome comedian joe mackie. >> thank you, everybody.

hey, everybody. wow, wow. it is great -- i'm sorry? it is great to be here with all the bachelorettes. hey, it is weird times we are living in, getting three politicians keep saying we are all in this together but they are the only ones they dont have to follow the lockdown rules. i don't think it's right to say the word we when it doesn't include everyone. it reminds me back when they killed usama bin laden, people kept coming up to me in times square saying we got bin laden. we got bin laden. and i am like, honestly, guys. i had nothing to do with any of that. i found out later. i was not on seal team six.

in fact, i don't think i would meet any of the requirements. unless they're looking for a slow runner that pees when he's afraid. i think the only thing i'll miss after covid is finally behind us, going into a business and sing a note that tells me they cleaned something that i have assumed my entire life they had always cleaned. i don't think i'm going back to that diner. they brag about washing forks. mental illness has come to the forefront during the lockdown's. a friend confided to buddy and myself that he was feeling kind of depressed in my body blurted out what i just try to be happier and i said that's pretty bad. you just told a person with

mental illness to not have mental illness. that was the whole problem area to start. that's like telling a person with schizophrenia, why don't you just try to see the people that are there? that's not fair. that's the thing they are the worst at. i don't even like it when they call them paranoid skids of fedex because of you don't know if the guy behind was real, i have -- i say you have earned te right to be paranoid. i have chosen my -- cheered myself up recently. i hoped up on electric motor to my peloton. my physical health is not improving but my mental health is doing great now that i beat all those exercise nerds. while i'm eating a sandwich.

yeah, things have been going rough these past 18 months or so. it was march 16, 2020. they said don't leave your place unless it's an emergency. that afternoon, i saw a mouse. i purchased some glue traps. i like to spend the next couple minutes explaining why those are a terrible idea. here is what will happen when they work. a mouse will walk over the glue trap and become permanently stuck. then that's it. there's not even any poison on their glue trap which to me seems like a glaring oversight by the manufacturer. now you're left with a situation where a mouse is permanently stuck to cardboard in your kitchen and he's alive. that creates its own dilemma. now i have to decide whether or not i'm going to execute the

mouse like some sort of young would be serial killer. or do i have to start feeding that guy? so i have been feeding him. in a stunning turn of events, i am feeding a mouse that i was just trying to kill. i have been giving him mostly simple sugars so he will get diabetes sooner or later. thank you guys so much. definitely appreciate it. [cheers and applause] >> greg: joe mackie. thank you, joe. we shall be right back.

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we are here all week. shannon bream is next. welcome to "fox news @ night". i'm shannon bream in washington. >> thousands of migrants gathered in mexico and expected to come to our southern border in the coming weeks. on the heels of a major militar crisis at the international bridge. is that biden administration th ready to hit double another surge. our pal is steady by to wait yet . they keep