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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  December 30, 2021 8:00pm-9:00pm PST

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tomorrow night at 10:00 p.m. eastern, watch fox's all-american new year featuring will cain, pete hegseth, rachel campos duffy and our own raymond arroyo will be there on bourbon street. that's something i want to see. thank you so much for watching the special edition of "the ingraham angle." greg gutfeld is next, happy new year! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [scattered applause] >> i know what you're thinking. greg has never looked this good in a dress, and is even shorter than normal. even with 6-inch heels, and he is smiling! surprise! it's me, emily! [scattered applause]
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like a tiny ghost of christmas present, because i'm celebrated the holiday today because this year covid robbed me of christmas with my family. covid robbed us of our studio audience and it robbed me of my christmas eve feast of the seven fishes, the italian tradition of eating seafood and yelling. so to make up for it, we are having a feast tonight. not actual food, jimmy, don't get excited. it's emily's feast of seven jokes. >> emily's feast of seven jokes. >> emily: in new year's eve news, omicron fearmongers are warning people to stay away from new york's times square celebration. even the previous crowds were exposed to something much worse, anderson cooper and kathy griffin. thank god it will be me hosting in times square this year. see you at 10:00 p.m. eastern on fox news.
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germany has also banned large group gatherings, but you know who never bands large group gatherings of germans? france. china's wuhan institute of virology recently hosted a conference on lab safety to which the world responded, a little [bleep] late, guys! in a recent segment on covid safety, cnn admitted cloth masks don't stop transmission of the virus. they also don't stop cnn hosts from grabbing your ass. today new york mayor bill de blasio said he doesn't believe in shutdowns despite having shut down the city for months. he then added "i also oppose letting criminals roam free to murder people." chris tucker turned down a $10 million payday for a sequel to the awesome movie friday saying he's to mature to be seen
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behaving badly on screen but producer sq has found a replacement who has no qualms about cursing or smoking weed on camera. in a cbs news interview, vice president kamala harris that her biggest failure was not getting out of d.c. more but for once i actually agree with kamala. i'd love to see her get out of d.c. permanently. thank you all, this has been emily's feast of seven jokes. [scattered applause] so by this point, you may be wondering how the little sister got the keys to the car. is this like in the goonies where the kids let the air out of the bike tires so they get a head start? no. greg prefers a tricycle. his greg tied up naked with duct tape over his mouth dumped and the girls locker room? wait, no, that was him in high school. is he draped over the side of brian kilmeade's hot tub naked, three bottles of wine deep?
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wait, no, that was him on christmas. no, i'm actually sitting here for one reason. i beat him in a good old-fashioned card game. >> you want to play poker against me? of strip poker. >> emily: not that kind of game! we don't work for andrew cuomo! this card game. exactly. the kind greg loves. it combines two of his favorite passions, and i never turn down an invitation. especially not with the high stakes of the keys to the kingdom for one night, because the one thing no one bets on if the little sister having the best poker face, and outlasting them all. >> good to see her -- got your real estate license, you're like a hot topic real estate agent. anyway -- >> i'll take it. >> you are goff, you sell gothic health ohmic houses. here's emily from 25 years ago. while matt, you've changed. but i totally support the
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transition and the decision. i'm the number one late-night host, emily. i'm not some -- i'm not some guy you can push around. you make me sick and for that you have to sit out this segment. >> straight to bed. >> straight to bed like you always do. up at the crack of dawn. good for you, psychopath. >> emily: i sat there and took it, but just like andy dufresne, veronica, the frog brothers, ronald miller, the monster squad, and kylie richards in her oft overlooked role as ellie curtis in water in the woods, the underdogs always come out on top, except in rocky one. that's why i'm here tonight, as a living, breathing message of hope like a tiny ghost of christmas future. not just for this hour, but for the long haul. in the immortal words of yoko posthumous boyfriend, it will all be okay in the end. if it's not okay, it's not the end.
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2021 has sucked, no doubt. it look as in the white house, look is not in the white house. half of us aren't locked down under mandates bill cosby is free and yet paul welland is still in prison. china is experiment it with hypersonic and our military is -- the only thing that grew bigger than our federal government this year was the criminal liability of cnn producers. the world is mourning the loss of captain von trapp, rater nations john madden, screech, clary and joel devito -- in the genius mind behind woodstock. the mainstream media encouraged by feckless elected officials played an attention shell game where covid played on loop while urban implosion's, the southern border, records search, skyrocketing homicides, disconnect public schools, opioid overdoses, a social war waged on law enforcement, and americans left behind in
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afghanistan barely received any coverage. the media did keep us well-informed, however, on who would host jeopardy. there were other stories too. stories that deserved our attention, our admiration, are discussed, but where was the media? msnbc was busy chasing down buses, sure, but what's everyone else's excuse? where was the coverage when an escaped prisoner on the lam was finally caught after venturing out to buy call of duty? where were the headlines when teens dumping a murdered body in the woods were caught because they dutifully left their hazard lights on? where were the media when six -- kidnapped and held for ransom a victim just steps away from an nypd training facility. you can imagine how that turned out. but any interest of fairness, i have to hold a mirror up to this show as well. i borrowed one of the [indiscernible]. it's true. even greg missed a huge story this year, likely the largest
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story of the year. which is shocking, honestly, because we heard it from the source himself, from channing tatum. yes! great news for america. greg and me, there will be a magic mike 3! not sure why this hasn't headlined every episode of "gutfeld!" since, but earlier this month it was confirmed, two of the greatest movies of all time will now be part of a trilogy of human perfection. so take heart, america. 2022 will be better than 2021. or at the very least it will have better abs. yeah. despite all our differences, the one thing greg and i have in common, the one love we share, is magic mike. watching and performing. so in our shared great anticipation of the release of "magic mike 3" next year, i put together what a new redwood love, a rendition of the most encouraging -- engrossing -- the
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most delightful performance not on broadway. i give you gigantic greg. ♪ ♪ >> i want to try and lose this way. >> it's time for our rehearsal for gigantic greg. great news, i invited channing tatum to come! i know, bad news, the restraining order is still in effect so i'm not allowed within 50 feet of him. but you know what? we don't need him. we have all the talent we need right here. ♪ ♪ ready! dancer number one! love the method acting, but let's ramp up the energy. >> how are we feeling tonight? i'm bringing the thunder from down under. >> or unicorns australian?
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musical you're a clown! >> but i'm so much more than that! ♪ ♪ >> emily: good try. let's try not scaring the audience. ♪ ♪ >> great job, by the way. >> this isn't a duet. >> where i'm from this is how we say hello. >> let's do this! five, six, seven, eight. one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. maybe we need a different show in common with less dancing. >> i got miranda!
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>> shotgun on charlotte. >> emily: let's welcome tonight's guests! fox news' own magic mike, our bionic half robot, half aquaman, [indiscernible]. fox news' tragic mike. fox news hemorrhagic mike, comedian joe devito. and mike's hot sister, fox news contributor kat timpf. all right, jimmy, we just covered a lot of ground. >> a lot went on. this was a lot to hit a guy with who looks like a mall santa who got a dui. you really came to me with high hopes. >> otherwise known as a mall santa. >> every single one! it is so amazing right now, you can get like five duis because
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of covid, they are out of santa's, so that that you bring me back in, keep the kids far away. i didn't know that you guys are obsessed with magic mike, but i love the idea of magic mike domc it is the single -- they should give every woman who buys a ticket to magic mike free scoop of litter with their purchase. it's a cat lady movie! the movie took in $167 million last time around but took forever to count because they paid in singles. >> emily: the last flight i was on there was literally a whole row of us and we were all watching it and everyone loved it, but i love -- my rumor worked and everyone literally thinks greg is obsessed with "magic mike." >> i just love that everyone loved it. who are you flying with, the golden girls? >> emily: kat was there. that's get is what i envision the marine corps barracks looks like after hours. is that true? >> we pretty much get naked and look at each other. >> emily: sign me up!
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>> i'm a big fan. i like his work. i've seen where he played a marine, there's literally some movie called the marine, the marine again. his "magic mike" about dudes taking their clothes off? is that what in figuring out here? >> emily: loosely. >> taking their loose close off? >> it's about a bunch of stripper boys are just one? i never saw it. >> emily: it depends on who is in the spot letting her eyes. it's really about a bunch of them. but let's face it, there's one "magic mike." and that's channing tatum. do you think greg is missing us right now? should we call him gigantic greg from now on? >> i will not be. >> i think right now greg is in a ditch insides kat basement putting the lotion in the basket. by the way, were you trapped in a blockbuster video for about a decade? your movie references seem to be -- >> you saved it with rocky. >> emily: thanks!
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devito wrote that line. so, kat, what you think about the stories the media missed. there were really important ones. >> my wedding. >> emily: there you go! and the honeymoon is going to be an even bigger story because it's taken so long to have one. >> i know but i keep saying -- how! it never ends, where going to end up having to go to poughkeepsie. >> emily: i've never been buried >> it's actually lovely this time of year. >> i would be the queen of poughkeepsie. i'll see you guys there. a lot of stuff there. it's not okay if it's not the end -- i don't get that because the end is the worst part. you die. >> emily: the end is the best part, it's like when they kiss or when they walked on the il or when the bank gets robbed, it is something awesome, right? >> i don't know of anything that ends with just a kiss, we are all adults, right? are we -- are we in
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seventh grade? >> emily: on the hallmark channel. >> this time of year again. they play some terrible christmas music and then the exact same movie with the exact same actors kissing women comes on again. every hallmark channel movie. >> and they all get five stars. >> you know that 80% of the hallmark channel ratings are guys just ragging on the movies while their women watch them? >> cam loves the homer channel! and i say turn this [bleep] off! and he won't turn it off! >> throw some twists in there every now and then. >> which tells me cam will be going to see "magic mike." >> if you don't turn this off i'm going to go back to my hometown and meet a guy who owns a bookstore. >> emily: my final question, the marines, when you hear somebody who ventured out to buy call of duty and that's what got him caught, do you think you shake your head? >> i have a 12-year-old son who really likes video games so i
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don't know -- like if it were him, i might be kind of proud. you did it, you took the initiative. but for a grown -- for a grown man it's probably not the thing. i'm not a big video game guy. i own the playstation one time penetrated it for speakers for my truck and i traded those i think four -- it doesn't matter what i traded those four, actually. so video games, the call of duty stuff, i don't understand it. i kind of did call of duty one time. >> emily: up next, if you have covid mid air, it's clogging the laboratory -- ♪ ♪ a must in your medicine cabinet! less sick days! cold coming on? zicam is the #1 cold shortening brand! highly recommend it! zifans love zicam's unique zinc formula. it shortens colds!
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>> you got to be [bleep] kidding me! come on! >> emily: she stayed glued to the toilet seat at 30,000 feet. i speak of a michigan woman --
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aren't they all, kat -- spent five hours in an airplane bathroom voluntarily quarantining herself after testing positive for covid mid flight, which is really unfair to passengers trying to join the mile high club. she says about halfway through the chicago to iceland flight her throat started to hurt so she went to the bathroom to take a rapid test she brought with her rather than wait months for joe biden to send her one. when it came up positive, she decided to stay in the cramped [bleep] for the rest of the flight, which was still better than a middle seat. sounds like the worst five hours anyone has had since i watched the footloose remake. speaking of having a terrible time, lord fauci had some major advice for those celebrating new year's tomorrow night. >> if your plans are to go to a 40-50 person new year's eve party with all the bells and whistles and everybody hugging and kissing and wishing each other happy new year, i would strongly recommend that this year we do not do that.
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>> emily: what? so no hugging or kissing at midnight or any time the night? like it wouldn't kiss 50 people just because fauci said so. if a reaction, let's go live to the cuomo household. ♪ ♪ >> no! [scattered laughter] >> emily: if we are not supposed to hug and kiss at midnight, i wonder what people will do? >> emily, i wish you a joyous and prosperous new year. ♪ ♪ [scattered laughter] >> happy new year, joe. ♪ ♪ >> emily: that was literally the outfit i wore to the office. kat, a la for the media is so generous with that woman. they call it quarantining. no it's not, it's hogging the
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bathroom for five hours. it sounds better to get covid than to be on a flight were someone's in the bathroom the entire time. >> yeah, and then there christmas utis to follow. that -- i would forcibly removed her, especially because at least -- like eight other people probably had covid on that flight. everything is so stupid now, and i just -- but fauci no, he might be more fun than we thought if he thinks like the normal thing to do is 50 people all kissing each other. that is not a party, that is an orgy. he is saying i know new year's eve you all go to one, but wait until next year for it. so i don't know. i mean, he might be more fun than we thought. >> emily: i don't know. last night ghislaine maxwell was found guilty, so to me, that has been asked in a buried >> consensual only! i'm not a sicko! >> emily: exactly. joey, why are people still listening to fauci? that's the question.
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>> here's the deal, the kind of aren't. normal people -- >> [laughs] >> normal people are not. and he told us that. he's like we are actually going to go down from ten days to fight is because y'all don't listen to the [bleep] i say anyway. like why not. he literally went on tv and said we know people don't follow these stupid rules, so we are going to make them a little less stupid. listen, fauci is running the country right now and that's what bothers me about this whole thing. not to turn this amazing fun, laughing time into something sad, but fauci is running -- bureaucrats are running our country, not elected officials but that's what democrats and liberals believe. they believe that academic experts are truly the only ones qualified to make decisions, and in that respect, they agree with me that elected officials probably are pretty stupid. but they're willing to circumvent the process we made to elect people to make these decisions because they think it's bureaucrats that actually have the information and
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intelligence to tell us how to live our lives. and that's the problem with anything fauci says, it is the gospel in the biden administration. where trumper probably go okay, okay, you need to sit down, little fella. and that's what we need. not to say that you don't take his advice into consideration or even do with the doctor says sometimes, but we elect somebody so the buck actually stops with them in the buck doesn't stop with biden, it goes right over his head. >> that would be a great book for you. do what the doctor says, sometimes. >> that was pretty deep for somebody we play in mountain dew and chewing gum. >> -- >> they better give you another pouch! >> he lives in georgia! he's richer than all of us! >> killing it. this is why nobody listens to fauci, because we've had these predictions so many times. thanksgiving was going to kill us, hollowing was going to kill
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us. remember, crowded football games were going to kill us! the only people who died at football games were jets fans who jumped off the stadium, you know what i mean? but i'm so sick of it -- but we know that to be true and i'm so sick of the warning about covid. as someone who is cohosting new year's, as are you, i will be down in nashville, covid will be the best thing possible for me to catch, you know what i mean? if i come home with covid tomorrow, like oh thank god, what was i going to tell jenny? but covid, i'm home free. a couple of calls, the marriage is intact. >> that would be a great name for your book! the marriage is intact! >> emily: for now. two joey a pessimist point, that's a culture of fear that they are stoking. that's why some one who tests positive on the flight locks herself in the bathroom for five hours. if like the new screen with everyone diving out of windows to escape the plus sign on the thing -- i guess that's a pregnancy test. >> what are you doing in the bathroom!
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that's why you've never had covid. >> this is what's so -- understand she thought she might have a serious health issue, she did flat of chicago, sold the sore throat could have been caused by gunfire. but it's a strange call to think okay, i'm on a flight, going from chicago to iceland, that we just break out the covid test now. whenever i have a flight, i make sure before i get to jfk with got to the bathroom 50 times, i've had a sandwich, i don't get to the airport, hop on a flight and think this is a good time to run some diagnostics. so i don't know what she was thinking, but if i were a passenger on that flight and she was hogging the bathroom, i belittle matt. you know what i would be really -- if i were iceland! should get there and be like, i got covid, what's going on? what are you going to do? center back? >> the passengers should have just slapped her. up next, should house arrests hinder his chances on tender?
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♪ ♪
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>> emily: a prisoner has an appetite for seduction while the irs says crime is not a deduction. a man looking for wives and a teddy bear stuffed with knives, and alleged capital writer from buffalo, aren't they all, has asked the judge to let him use dating apps while he awaits his trial. that's ironic. a criminal wanting to use dating apps. when dating apps were how kat and jimmy hughes to meet criminals. >> yeah, actually. >> emily: arrested in march and in jail until october. since then, he's been under 24/7 locked down at his parents home where he is reportedly been forbidden by the judge to use social media or watch any political shows that could "inflame his thoughts," which means no espn. but based on his dating app request, other things might get inflamed first. especially with all that buffalo wing sauce everywhere. we will follow the romantic endeavors closely and keep you posted. meanwhile, new scrutiny for the irs reminding you that criminal
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income must be included when you file your taxes, like, say, my money-laundering with art sales, and if you steal stuff, you must report it's fair market value and less you return it straight rightful owner. so when you're still out flat screen from best buy and pepper spray the court, remember to get a receipt. and lastly, a mom was busted at the philadelphia airport for allegedly hiding two knives in a darth vader teddy bear, which is ridiculous. darth vader used a lightsaber, and he certainly didn't use butter knives. the tsa caught her after the bear went through the x-ray machine. although a super villain teddy bear is clearly suspicious on its own. apparently the teddy was cut open, re-stuffed and re-sown. much like nancy pelosi. all right, they were butter knives. why would she die on that hill? why don't you try with many machetes are something that would actually hurt? >> yeah, what's the threat, like
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we are going to smear you within an inch of your life. you know, a lot of weird stuff going on at airports these days. people are testing themselves midflight, they're packing cutlery. also, why pick darth vader? is the villain. you're kind of tipping people off. >> emily: yeah. >> he was a little seat there, so let him be the one. no one would suspect c-3po was packing. so yeah, the guy in buffalo, let's be honest, it's december, everyone in buffalo is under house arrest. they've got 17 feet of snow. so i don't know where he thinks he's going, but i think -- let him swipe to his heart's content. >> emily: kat, real question. would it be a rude deal breaker if you were on a dating app and that person was awaiting trial? >> i have to talk to my husband about that. >> emily: if he said it was okay. >> i mean, awaiting trial, no,
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because you could get attached. and then they go away. >> emily: conjugal visits. >> is good as conjugal visits sound, it probably would be a deal breaker. i'm upset about the tsa story. >> emily: why? >> it is pro-tsa propaganda. hundreds of millions of dollars a year, they protected a flight from butter knives, great job, guys! investigation after investigation shows that they miss stuff all the time. like over half. in 2015, abc investigations, i got statistics like you do. 95% buried 2017, it was 80%. boom, two statistics in a row, what are you going to do now! two in a row, and you know what? hundreds of millions of dollars. i may not be a financial advisor but that's a waste of money and then it's our money and they take our rights. i'm done with the tsa. this propaganda and the knives and they don't say it's actually butter knives. i don't think anyone's life was
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spared because of this. >> emily: i agree. >> that never happens. >> emily: isn't this irs largest another example the federal government only cares about clawing back the lost income? they don't care about your lost income. if you get robbed, it doesn't matter. it just matters that you, that that person hasn't reported to them. >> this is the worst government attempt to make something happen since the fbi started and insurrection. that's a joke. >> i like that! >> what come on, criminals, tell me about your stolen property just so we can claim taxes. it's so they can go get you for being a thief and put you in jail as long as you don't live in california where it's no longer illegal. honestly, i had better jokes for the other two topics and i really want to tell a story. >> i appreciate your honesty. >> am i the only guy who sits there and looks at the tsa story goes a kind of wish they would? i normally sit first class, but i kind of wish they would go towards the cockpit with a butter knife. i wish they would. i got a lot of ideas on how i
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would handle that. >> emily: him he couldn't catch them in the aisle. just kidding, i love you. >> on the prison dating thing, i've got a buddy who's the a best friend of mine, he's a war hero, and he had a girlfriend one time whose boyfriend was in prison, and he was like such a smart guy, she came to us and goes he said we could day because he didn't want his prison sentence to stop me from living my life, you've just got to move on before he gets out and then he goes and i get that in writing met my buddy danny had a permission slip from a prison kingpin to date that man's girlfriend. >> emily: that's amazing! all you need is el chapo's word. >> back together. and a jackhammer to get her out of her cell again. >> emily: how would judge jimmy rule? >> let me give it to your really quick. the tsa butter knife think i'm a total up.
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the tsa's latency garbage. she put those knives and that's all and probably got on the plane with a grenade launcher. >> my god! >> i have a buddy was a monster pothead and he gets his weed back in california and new york by putting a big bottle of water in his bag and they find the bottle of water his bag and they hold up the line and they take the water out and they dump it and he walks through with his weed. every time! every time! but anyway, this is the scarier point. the irs thing, the fact that we are now so broken under joe biden, we are so broke under joe biden that we are now relying on drug dealers and thieves to adhere to the honor system to pay us. that means we are like two steps away from jill biden starting in only fans. it's bad. >> emily: we are in bad shape but don't worry, remember my message from the a block, 2022 will be better. coming up, will new chinese technology pray on [indiscernible]?
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ >> emily: is hunter biden's employer also a mind destroyer? and will robots in court turn china into minority report? chinese military has a report been researching ring control warfare, just like public school. as a chinese army report in cooperation with the nba obtained by the washington science reads war has started to shift from the pursuit of destroying bodies to paralyzing in controlling the opponent, like tickle fights. i was in a sorority, you guys, it's pillow fights. speaking of china's advanced technical product to -- chinese scientists have developed an artificial intelligence prosecutor that can press its own charges. george soros will fund the campaign of the robot never files the charges. it can reportedly predict common crimes like fraud, gambling, and dangerous driving and calling taiwan a country. the machine is so smart it can
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file a charge with more than 97% accuracy based on a verbal description of the case. note to self, just a small act all right, joey. if the media is covering this now at this point about china, i feel like the real story is even worse. like china has the scariest technology out there. if we are hearing about them paralyzing minds now. >> paralyzing minds. it's kind of like jake tapper's show. when did this happen? listen, i kind of i'm not down on making fun of robots and getting mina robots demoralizing and demeaning robots because i'm a little bit of a robot. i've got a little bit of that going on myself. >> yeah you are. >> what bothers me is that my legs work off of me. they don't do anything on their own, so you're telling me there are robots out there that can send you to prison for life and they can't even take steps? like of got to use my arms to get up out of this chair and there are robots out there doing important things?
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could we get a little bit of it? just a little bit of that technology here? i'd be cool with that. i've definitely -- i definitely dance better now with robot legs. i'm going to self reflect on it now. >> emily: i will have your addition -- >> what if they turned against you? >> they do every day, have you not see me fall? it's like a broadway dance. >> i met while you're sleeping in the night and they're watching you. >> my dogs onto something. if my legs are off my body, if they get within 5 inches of my dogs, they bolt. they know something i don't, i'm telling you right now. i think these are -- they wouldn't do anything. if you want some breakfast? >> emily: so jimmy, according to china, this technology can spot ahead of time those provoking trouble. if you look we should just send them to midtown. >> we actually need. we like -- i like the idea of getting taken down by a cyborg because it's so much better than how you get taken down in this country now, one guy with three
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followers tweets that he's mad and other guys with three followers -- some ways a journalist like everybody hates this guy and now you're gone! like a sci-fi story coming order and saying? so i'm kind of half into this but in terms of china -- in terms of china developing a device that will paralyze us, they already did, it's called the iphone. we are all just sitting there staring at it all day. >> emily: and we talk about paralyzed opponents, that's biden. >> for sure. i have a feeling that this chinese robot prosecutors not going to be tough but fair. going to be a lot of guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, go make some nikes, guilty, guilty, guilty. so i would not recommend throwing yourself on the mercy of the court for the chinese automated robot prosecutor. it is -- you're mentioning tiktok. i mean, we have allowed this propaganda information gathering
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tool of the chinese communist party to infiltrate our phones, and i hate it. whenever i open it up there showing me these things, like its teenage girls dancing in front of the camera and i'm like i didn't ask -- i will watch it, but i did not ask for it. they've even worked their way into my phones. >> where that tiktok now knows your other search history. >> it's where that happens. >> dump trucks. >> as in butts? >> like that dude sitting heavy machinery -- >> i believe you. >> undone. >> emily: if you like the thing -- the biggest tragedy to me is not this crazy technology coming out of china, it's like who is surprised? you know, we see this as the headline aware like yep, what else crazy is going to come out of china, right? >> ith also thought that. if it doesn't make me feel good, but it didn't really make me feel at all, and i find that
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it's getting harder and harder to feel. >> marriage! [scattered laughter] >> emily: up next, one in ten moms say why bother. -hey tex, -wooo. can someone else get a turn? yeah, hang on, i'm about to break my own record. only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ at university of phoenix, we have scholarships for everyone hard at work, no matter where you work. get up to a $3,000 scholarship, starting with your first course. explore your opportunities at phoenix.edu i'm steve. i lost 138 pounds in 9 months your first course. on golo and taking release. golo saved my life. i was way overweight, and that's what sent me down the path, was i--i wanted to make sure and live for my kid. plain and simple. such tree-mendous views. i'm at a moss for words. when a cough tries to steal dad's punchlines,
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♪ ♪ >> emily: when asked who's the father of their baby, they said,
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i don't know, him may be. according to a new british poll, almost one in ten mothers don't know who actually fathered their children. the other nine states pete hegseth. pete, i didn't write that one. almost 8% of the 1,000 british moms surveyed admitted to having lied about the biological origins of their kids, proving once again, moms are more honest than msnbc. we are going to assume it's from having sex, or as they call it in england, that thing we did to the irish. in other depressing news about kids, "the wall street journal," owned by our parent company, sketchers, profiled families who named their kids after harry potter characters, something shockingly popular with adults who shouldn't be allowed to play with their want or anyone else's. turns out 91 hermiones were born in the united states just last year. and dooming them a lifetime of bullying and of not having their names called out during sex. and not nearly enough called
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lord goldmark, a.k.a. the baby who must not be named. anyway, for more on all this, let's go live to our new magic correspondent, disappearing steve. >> [indiscernible]. >> emily: all right, jimmy, we all know that you are link's father because he is your size. >> the maury povich thing helped a little bit, let's not kid ourselves. why you chose to close the show on a segment about my wife is beyond me. that's not the one in ten moms. really quick with the other thing, harry potter. you should name your kids after fictitious -- the public perception of them never changes. you don't want to name your kid after somebody was alive because things can get harry. we are having a big problem right now with my daughter ghislaine. >> it is silent. kat, to that point though, would you rather be named hermione or
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why didn't people name themselves bella from twilight? it is such a better name than hermione. >> that's a movie. >> emily: you watch your mouth, joey! that whole saga is right here behind jimmy's shoulder. >> i wasn't allowed to read harry potter because my mom said magic was of the devil, so i couldn't read it. true story. i grew up to be so pious, so it worked. but i have a disdain for adults who are into harry potter. it's just weird, it's sad into what i rather -- would you rather hang out with? a woman who doesn't know who her baby's father is, or someone who knows the baby's father and they made the decision together to name it after harry potter character. i'm going to have way more fun with the first. >> emily: joey, what scares you more, paternity test or being named after wizard? >> one too many hermiones, there is some cream for that, you just kind of rub it on. the guy, that whole one in ten thing is a guy who was won that
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lottery and been notified via text, like when you roll up to the longhorn and they tell you your order is ready. i just want to say, it's not always the guy -- you know -- some of us wanted to be dads and just needed to told about it. >> emily: that is sweet, that's a good way of looking at it. >> i don't know. i didn't know that you were told that you are fathered by something vibrating like your table is ready at red lobster. >> emily: there is [indiscernible]. >> i did not reproduce, which is -- you know, if i got a woman pregnant, it wouldn't be a mistake, it would be a miracle. so i'm comfortable -- maury povich would tell me you're good, you've got nothing to worry about. >> what you doing here? >> you are clearly not the father. >> emily: don't forget we are celebrate christmas today so it might happen. >> it could be, yes. this is why think paternity tests should be required in the hospital every time the baby is born, get the paternity test, find out who the father is and
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pass it on -- past the billing of the paperwork onto the right person. >> emily: divisive. don't go away, guys, we will be right back. to support a strong immune system your body needs a routine. centrum helps your immune defenses every day, with vitamin c, d and zinc* season after season. ace your immune support with centrum. now with a new look! a must in your medicine cabinet! less sick days! cold coming on? zicam is the #1 cold shortening brand! highly recommend it! zifans love zicam's unique zinc formula.
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set your dvr every night so you never miss an episode. i'm emily compagno. i love you, america. good evening. i'm bret baier. breaking tonight, officials are privately concerned. russia will make some move into ukraine's soon. o with tens of thousands of russian troops on the border with ukraine and more heading thatus way, president by and vladimir putin just wrapped up their second phone call this month. we don't have too many specifics about what happened on that called yet. the call requested by prudent. but white house officials say the conversation ran for about 50 minutes. it is a tenth talk.

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