>> thank you for having me. appreciate it. >> people born december 24th, they're really special. >> laura: that's right in the tradition of "60 minutes," isn't it? the tough follow-up questions. well, that's it for us tonight. greg gutfeld takes it all from here. >> greg: you just want me to fail. everybody here wants me to fail! [applause] everybody -- keep clapping. you're nothing without me. happy tuesday, everyone. is it really happy? not when it's day two of... [suspension music] joe biden son of a bitch insurrection.

yes, it was just 24 hours ago the world was rocked by an insidious foul-mouth display of incoherent rage. it was the slander-in-chief lashing out at our very own peter doocy simply gathering information for our book report. >> political liability ahead of the. [indiscernible] >> what a stupid son of a bitch. >> in case you missed it, let's do it again in slow-mo. [slurred speech] the original s.o.p. felt old biden strikes again. of course, the target of his rath was the one reporter who asked questions joe can't answer on auto pilot. fox news' peter doocy or as we like to see our very own. like we raised him in a plastic bubble. we took a clipping from steve doocy and then let miracle gro do the rest. doocy known for his hair and

lengthy rap sheet was noticeably shaken up. >> someone came up to me in the briefing room a few minutes later and said, "did you hear what the president said?" and i said, "no, what?" he called you a cupid "s.o.b.?" i said, "did he say "s.o.b.?" and the person said, "no." >> greg: doocy just turned 16 last week is home recuperating spending most of his time in his bedroom, playing video games and smoking blunts and talking about the hot new girl in hooproom. since the event, -- homeroom, since the event, the so-called president called for doocy to clear the air. it involves opening the window the use of at least 75glade plug-ins. apparently it was a perfect phone call. odds are joe was still talking 10 minutes after peter hung up. what a pair? a reporter who never shaved and a president you wouldn't let near anything sharp. i say why bother? this is the best thing president

biden has ever done since -- in fact, it's the best thing joe biden has ever done! it's definitely the most honest thing to come out of his -- come out of him since he cropped us and camilla bowles with the air biscuit heard around the world. better than eating corn pop and break dancing up the stares to air force one combined. when he called him an s.o.b., what did he do? he reminded us on the good old days, where all there was a problem was verbal. the only things hurled through the air were words and not missiles pointed at kiev. >> here i am hillary clinton. >> the fake pocahontas. >> sleepy joe biden. >> little pencil neck adam schiff. >> you're trying to build up your energy but it's not working. >> with jeb's attitude, we'll

never be great again. that i can tell you. >> i love that. you can get the baby out of here. >> this really stupid guy. >> get that son of a bitch on the field right now -- off the field right now. out. he's fired. fired! >> honestly, i think we should let me run the country and you run cnn and if you did it well, your ratings would be much better. >> greg: those were the days. the only stress we felt were from trump's relentless bull-throated insults. it was like we had don rickles as president. his rallies weren't so much rallies as they were roests. the only thing -- roasts. the only thing missing was dean martin and foster brooks. remind you it wasn't just a problem, it was really the only problem. besides that rash i got in talym. there was no inflation or high crime unless you count antifa or blm no education implosion or attacks on parents no dividing america into us versus them based on vaccinations, race or

pronounces -- pronouns. all we had were mean tweets and hilarious insults. what would you rather be doing? paying $7 a gallon for gas or listen to trump call bette midler a name. you're free to get mad or laugh it off, well, unless you were rosie o'donnell. you see, i want more of that and less of the other real problems. i mean, what if joe just got more trumpian and less -- you know, well, bideny. i wonder what joe has to say? >> what do i say -- what do i say -- stupid son of a bitch! that's an expression. it's an expression. i say it all the time. i don't mean anything by it. i said it to my cream of wheat this morning. it burned my ton, stupid son of a bitch. i apologize. i leaned over the bowl and -- i like to let the steam come up

and i smell it. it's very nice. i said, oh my sweet farina, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to say such a thing. that's what i call her on a good day. my sweet farina. on a bad day, i call her a punk ass [bleep] [bleep], pony soldier. >> greg: it illustrates what so many people in the media and entertainment got so wrong about trump, their deragment made him thing his words were his deeds so they toss out a guy who did pretty good stuff but with a cab driver's mouth, replacing him with a supposedly genial but declining mindless mess. turns out the new guy is as genial as a scorpion with jock rot. what i wouldn't give for the cab driver. instead, we have grandpa simpson driving us off a cliff. meanwhile, the same idiots who castigated trump or calling journalists names are excusing joe for the very same thing. they say joe is tough and has backbone even though it's crumbling from osteoporosis.

putin is so scared, he might put a shirt on. the press either has the memory of a goldfish or just bias a-holes. my apologies to literal a-holes. in one brief moment, joe reminded us what we had and what we lost and now what we're stuck with. but also the president sets the tone, sadly it's contagious. >> hey, queen, i just want to let you know on instagram, all your photos of perci are so cute. >> thank you. >> give that little stupid son of a bitch a scratch for me, ok? stupid son of a bitch. >> how are you doing, guys? >> hey, jessie, congratulations on the new show, the ratings. >> thank you, are you surprised they gave it to me? >> that's a stupid question. of course i'm surprised. you're a brain-dead son of a bitch. not personal, pal. >> hey, judge, you know what? let's not. let's not. >> greg: good choice. i mentioned before that the

great comedian jim said he'd vote for joe biden's corpse over donald trump, which is funny, because he already did. the only thing left is the cremation in november and it serves as just one selfish example of those who crusaded trump out of office. they wanted their emotional damage reduced even if it meant electing someone who would usher in real damage, be it domestic or international. sure, they didn't have to endure the tweets or the barbs. that helped them get to sleep in the tradeoff, our physical lives are remarkably worse, whether it's rampant criminality, kids asked to wear stupid masks or a hot war with russia. they sacrificed everything to get rid of the orange man who made them feel bad even though his greatest real estate deal was living rent-free in their heads. [cheers and applause] let's welcome tonight's guests, he's made more liberals cry than the finale of "the west wing"

former white house press secretary, ari fleisher. [applause] he's like peter pan, he doesn't age and will never marry a woman, fox's contributor guy benson. she's proof that if you can't say something nice, you can get a job on tv, fox's contributor kat timpf and when he wears a green shirt in boston, they think he's fenway park, my massive sidekick and the nwa world television affiliate -- you're a filthy, filthy little man, aren't you? just filthy! i need to get you a bath. >> you stupid son of a bitch. three things to say on this. >> greg: sure. >> in my defense, number one, it was a hot mic. i forgot i was mic'd up. i forgot there was a camera, every time, with all four of them. that's number one. number two, yes, i may have

burst a bit. last time i was on the show in december, i believe, we did a whole segment on cursing. i declined to curse but i promised i would next time. i paid that off in spades. if i curse anymore on tv, i'd be dana perino. and finally, i feel like we've had our differences through the years, but i hope you're ok with how that sketch went, because i feel like that might be the closest i'll ever get to being on "the five" after how all of that went down. sorry, everyone, i love you dana, i love you, judge especially. >> greg: isn't it a contrast on how we handle things and how cnn does? when trump would go after their people, they'd be like, oh my god, it's the end of the world. all we do is make fun of doocy. >> a guy on twitter said if that had been acosta and trump exactly what happened, acosta would have shown up on cnn in a minute in a neck brace. "i've been harmed" and doocy played it perfectly and blew it

off. >> greg: did anything like this ever happen with your boss, president bush? i'm trying to remember hot mic moments but i'm not sure. >> yes it did. first of all, acosta would have shown up in a neck brace but been represented by michael -- it did, in the 2000 campaign when bush ran for president, he was at a mic and he referred to a reporter from the "new york times" named adam climber as a major league, began with an a, two little curly letters and rhymed with troll to which dick cheney when he heard that said "big time" and that became a thing. >> greg: yes, but the difference was -- and you showed it with the trump tape -- where bush, it was personality, which was always a guy that could throw elbows under the board, snap a towel at you, people knew that was bush in character, um, but joe biden is just weird. >> yeah, cranky. >> greg: he's supposed to be this kind of older, congenial

man. when he says something like that, it worked for trump, it worked for bush, even though it was inadvertent for bush, it's definitely advertent for trump, whatever that is. >> what's the opposite of inadvertent, advertent? >> it worked for trump. >> i love that word, advertent. that's a great one. i'm going to start to throw that around in my meetings. tyrus, the only time i got caught on a hot mic is when i hosted the chip-in-dales. >> welcome back. >> you creeped me out last night and then he just keeps raising the bar! i got angry, old women sending me mean messages. you wish you had it so good. thank you, greg. um, you know what? i'm kind of super impressed with our very own doocy because he clearly doesn't care about money. he actually cares about being a journalist, because, yes, acosta would have had the neck thing on, but you're forgetting the six books that are going to come

out about that experience. >> greg: right. >> literally, he got his own tv show based on president trump hurt my feelings, and his book was literally just every word he said, and then you would see him at -- he wouldn't even do interviews anymore. he's like, i'm standing outside of the rally and these four people called me names, and he was the story. and i commend doocy for not becoming the story when everyone is saying, hey, how'd that feel? he's like, hey, i didn't hear it. i just moved through it he called me and he said, "sorry! nothing personal" and he laughed it off which is being -- and maybe we could take a lesson about it -- but i doubt it -- he is being a journalist. all the things that happened on that, i applaud our very own doocy for staying the journalist. i commend him for that. >> greg: i'll go to our very-own kat timpf -- >> i don't belong to anyone. >> you're the homeless. the homeless kat timpf. what did you make of this? it's so silly, but it's great --

you know what i like about this topic? it's fun. >> it is fun! you know what else was fun. >> greg: what? >> was reading all the columns today, or at least the titles of them, like, you know, joe biden shouldn't have said that, but here is actually why it's not a big deal. ok, like who are you writing these verses? because the column like that, you have to be writing it versus someone. you got to be assuming someone saying it is a huge deal but no one said that. and then watching seltzer like night, he's like, i'm mr. consistent. i'm not going to be like the other guys. i'll say it was wrong -- when trump said that about the other guy, he said it was a threat to our free press. he said it was wrong and the threat to the free press. that's not consistent. we've been joking around. both pete and we're his dad work here -- both peter and his dad work here and they're both like mneh. >> peter's mom took it very well. she's the victim in all of this. >> greg: by the way, where is the journalist interviewing his mom? >> because usually when someone

-- well n my neighborhood f you called -- well, in my neighborhood, if you called me a son of a bitch, it's go time. no one calls my momma names. >> they know what they're talking about if they say it. >> jimmy kimmel called doocy last night adamson of a b and that was a direct lift from what jessie waters says. he just stole waters' joke which is so pathetic. >> sucks everyone who calls me names, none of them are famous. >> that'll happen one day. one day. [bleep]. see? >> because you're so famous. >> i am famous. >> yeah, jerk. >> ha-ha. >> you have to put the word major league in front of that. >> greg: that's right. that's right. i'm not that good at name-calling. i should get better at it. >> you're more of a structured paragraph insulter? >> greg: exactly. >> you're all digital. >> exactly. it's a whole he tells you why -- >> greg: oh stop it.

oh shut up, both of you. go to your rooms. >> sure. mine knees louisiana. >> -- neal young raises his voice and forces spotify to make a choice. ♪ now i'm ready for someone to call me mom. at northwestern mutual, our version of financial planning helps you live your dreams today. before nexium 24hr, anna could only imagine a comfortable night's sleep without frequent heartburn waking her up. now, that dream... . ...is her reality. nexium 24hr stops acid before it starts, for all-day, all-night protection. can you imagine 24 hours without heartburn? - i'm norm. - i'm szasz. [norm] and we live in columbia, missouri. we do consulting, but we also write. [szasz] we take care of ourselves constantly; it's important. we walk three to five times a week, a couple miles at a time. - we've both been taking prevagen for a little

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>> greg: share spotify with joe rogan? neil young says hell no, dan! yeah, thank you. yes, his songs used to be groovy but now he wants them removed. true, he used to have a heart of gold, but now he sounds cranky and old. neil young says he wants his music pulled off spotify because the company is providing a platform for joe rogan. that's the rock-n-roll spirit. in an open letter with his

manage and record label, i do not, probably written with a quill pen, the 184-year-old rocker wrote, "i'm doing this because spotify is spreading fake information about vaccines." what is this accent? "potentially causing death to those who believe this information being spread by them. i want you to know to let spotify immediately today i want all of my music off their platforms. they can have rogan or young, not both." ha-ha, maybe it's me but that's an easy choice. rogan, of course, has become a target during the pandemic for his views of the vaccine and how he treated his own covid diagnosis. neil young was in a band with david crossesby who free based every drug that wasn't ivermectin. in 2019, young removed most of his songs from the platform claiming their song quality wasn't good enough before relenting and letting them carry

his music. maybe it wasn't spotify's fault. maybe the songs aren't that good. let's have a quick refresher of young's biggest hit. [music] ♪ look at my life, i'm a lot like you ♪ now i'm old now, and you know it's true ♪ oh, i'm neil yo-young. >> greg: that was pretty good, actually, kat. what happened to the radical artists? now they're not distinguishable from the man. you have people like whoopi and neil young and whoopi -- well, i got only two examples. i'm leaving one out. >> you need to use three or you don't have a point. >> greg: i know. >> everybody knows that. >> greg: springsteen. there you go. i don't know. >> with neil young particularly, i'm confused. who do you think his fans are? i don't think it's purple-haired socialists bumping buffalo

springfield. i don't think -- every neil young fan that i know has at least seven guns. >> right. >> but, again, it's open letter. it's not -- oh, everyone can read this. an open letter is everyone please read this. look at me. >> greg: yes. >> so in general, there might be exceptions, um, if you ever -- if there's an open letter, i'll be like, nah, i already know. >> greg: it paints people into a corner because you're doing it publicly as opposed to a private letter, tyrus. neil young is now like mr. roper. >> you know what happened to mr. roper, we got mr. furley. >> greg: that's right! >> i hope they have an open response that says, fine, because i can't remember the last time i was like online going where's my neil young fix. where's neil young? rogan has become an american institution, so, yeah, you know, it's like me saying -- walking into fox tomorrow and going, listen, one of the murdochs gotta go, ok?

rupert's gone! tyrus time. i'll wait while he clears out his stuff. >> greg: yeah, yeah. >> and i'm going to do it in an open statement and there'll be a closed door blind me with the losses changed and my -- door behind me with the locks changed and my security with the security will be forever changed. >> greg: they won't be fist bumping or high-fifing. >> they'll say i miss you. don't call me. >> greg: you grew up in the 70's. is neil young a old man's gordon light'? >> when you're a rock-n-roller, you're spotted to be open--- supposed to be open-minded, free thinking and here he is being a skull and telling people off the air. what's happened to all of us? what's going on with this? part of it is the pandemic. everybody is so fed up, but it's this whole woke everything.

if you don't agree with what i say, you don't have a right to say it anymore. i used to admire the old aclu where they stood up to actual pure speech. no one said because i disagree with you, i'm taking you off the air. neil young, that's what he wants. >> greg: someone needs to start an organization called the new aclu, right? naclu, you're not even listening. >> i heard what you said, you said naclu. >> you know who went to my high school graduation? >> i have no idea. >> greg: what's this topic about? neil young came to my high school graduation because he was married to my friend's sister, and he showed up, and he was at my high school graduation. >> what year was that? >> is that why we're doing this segment? >> greg: yes! >> did he say something mean to you? you've been harboring a grudge for decades? >> 1983. >> your moment arrived to get him. >> greg: i don't know

anymore. i ran out of questions. >> did he try to take you off the air? >> greg: no. he was very polite. >> not yet. not after he watches this. >> greg: you have to respect spotify. they're sticking by -- i think actually that neil young has since backed away because he saw it was stupid. >> also, i don't think that an open letter is how you actually achieve a goal, it's more of a signal. hey, everyone, this is what i believe but he's got no intention of it actually happening and, of course, spotify is going to stand behind rogan. i shouldn't say, "of course" in our crazy times but it's a good business decision for them. i think we can all agree. >> greg: yes. >> i was hoping you would do the rest of the segment in that accent. i was transfictioned with that accent -- i was transfixed with that accent. >> greg: i don't know where i was going with that. i was trying to do someone from the 1800's and then i became a cocky british accent. i'm not known for my accents. i'm more of an improv kind of guy. >> not going anywhere with that. it's a bear trap. it's a bear trap. >> greg: i wish i had a

bear trap. >> there you go. there you go. >> greg: you know what a bear trap is? it's my apartment. come in and they never leave. >> that's your type? uh-huh. uh-huh. >> greg: only problem is the -- >> thank you for encouraging him you stupid son of a bitch. .>> greg: i have to use a lot of draino on those clogs. >> can we go to commercial? >> greg: yes. does the mask mandate get excused when you compare them to children's shoes? e need. -hey tex, -wooo. can someone else get a turn? yeah, hang on, i'm about to break my own record. only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ how bout sushi? i just had sushi for lunch yesterday.

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. >> greg: you got to be [bleep] kidding me! come on! a judge says get your masks out of our schools, while face covering karens keep acting like fools. could a civil war be brewing over a mask mandate ruling? two years into the eternal emergency that's covid pandemic, it appears things are coming to a head regarding masks. and not the leather ones that pete sells out of his office,

great craftsmanship, but my tongue gets stuck in the zipper. >> not going there. >> greg: on monday a long island judge ruled against governor hochul's mask mandate for businesses and schools, but she quickly filed an appeal and today a judge granted a stay in the state's lawsuit meaning the mandate remains in place, schools have to enforce it. that sucks! this new york governor, the last one, couldn't keep his hands off your body and now this one wants to touch your face. last week, hochul whose eyebrows are really intense made a mask comparison that made zero sense. >> my daughter had a meltdown over having to puts speakers on to go -- sneakers on to go to kindergarten. she got used to wearing sneakers in school. they adapt better than adults do. >> greg: the moral, kindergartners are stupid. what a terrible analogy. wearing masks is like putting on sneakers. unless you're tying sneakers over your nose and mouth, this analogy blows. speaking of masks and things that make no sense, virginia

school districts are suing the governor over his executive order that makes them optional in schools but finally a tiktok video -- aren't they all -- reportedly showing two ladies moonlighting as the mask police in an elevator. >> get out! >> no! >> get out! get out! >> what are you guys doing? >> get out. get out. >> what are you guys doing? >> get out. don't touch me. don't touch me. >> get out! get out! >> i'm not touching you. did you hit me? did you hit me? did you just hit me? yo, this is racism! wow! >> black lives matter. >> what? >> stop pointing -- i don't know you. you need to stop. >> get out. >> i'm not getting out. >> yes you are! >> greg: i don't know what but my favorite part is when the women started saying black lives matter and then they hit the guy and then freaked out. this has been -- that one video made the entire pandemic worth

it! i drooled, again, what's my drooling problem today? for my entire life. you need to wear a mask. you need to wear a mask! it's covid. >> i believe we discussed this largesse congress yes, yes. >> i guess i'm assuming i'm the leading official -- you'll go to me on this one. i think those are the two old ladies in this country that don't love me. >> greg: yes! ha-ha. >> that's paranoia in a nut shell. but they're woke. so i could hit you but i yell black lives matter but apparently not his. you're trying to molly-whop him in the elevator for not wearing a mask. >> can we put that video in the smithsonian as a representation of where we are as a society? because they're all filming each other, which is perfect! >> all of them, right? >> then there's mirrors, there's cameras everywhere and phones and then the woman -- to make her point even more angrily brings her mask down for a

second -- >> ruins her whole point. >> and then realizes, wait, i'm the one that always needs to wear the mask and puts it up. she hits him and accuses him of doing it even though it's on five cameras. out of nowhere when they have no more real estate, they start chanting black lives matter at the guy who i think was black. so it was spectacular! >> greg: yeah, it was like -- i think when they saw them being filmed, they thought the chant would somehow save them from going viral regardless of the fact they were acting absolutely crazy. ari, am i nuts? we never know what starts what. can a mask create civil unrest? because i feel like -- i got credit tom, two years ago when all of this crap started, he said it was going to come down to the mask. he said that two years ago. and i'm beginning to think he was right -- like, no one is going to tell me to put on a mask anymore. i'm never putting on another mask. i will not go to your restaurant. i will not go to your store. february 1st [bleep] is over. i'm getting on with my life.

the science -- i'm following the science by not wearing a mask. putting masks on kids is [bleep] up, sorry, um, boy, we swear a lot. >> you're right. she made the joke about the shoes but shoes won't stop you from learning when you can't see movements and expressions and pronunciations. so, yeah, it is -- shoes and that don't matter. the mask is for you. it's a choice, just like the vaccine. i got the vaccine and i got the boost and i still got the damn thing but what does it do? it protects me. it's just like if you smoke cigarettes every day, and i don't wear a mask every day, we both are taking whatever situation we are in. so it doesn't help anyone else. >> i got yelled at today. i was in a building celebrating the new york state judge's order saying you don't have to wear the mask before the state came down. i wasn't wearing -- actually, i forgot i wasn't wearing my mask and this old guy came right up to me and he goes -- and it was as if the guy was patrolling. he likes to do it. he walks around -- and i got his

jollies after finding someone he could jive. out of guilt, i put my mask on. >> greg: you should have thrown it in his face, ari, but you're a world-famous celebrity. that would have gone viral. >> if i was wearing my mask, he wouldn't have known who i was. >> greg: exactly. >> i remember dr. from the trump administration said when you start wearing a mask, even a scarf is ok for you. now we're reading cloth masks don't make a difference. what is right? what is wrong? stop changing it! >> greg: the facts are changing. now we know it's done. you know, pat, can i mention a little theory scott adams has? >> yes. >> he believes pretty privilege is the answer to this that once really hot women remove their masks, no one ever tells a hot woman not to do anything, they're the ones that have to lead the way. it's kind of like when a woman at a baseball stadium starts

disrobing, people cheer. >> people told me i can't do things and i'm really, really good with that. i don't know if that's entirely true. the part i'm really good-looking is true, but, no, the best part of that video, though, was when she pulled her mask down, because what was happening was she was trying to get a point across and she was unable to, so she was realizing and acknowledging, oh, with my facial expression, i can better get my point across which, again, it's so horrible -- we're literally sacrificing children. it's not like we don't know it negatively impacts kids. we know it does negatively impact kids and a lot of them can't even use the mask properly. a two-year-old, even without a mask, like, i don't -- they require a lot of maintenance to keep them on. >> greg: i hate kids but i even think this is unfair. and i despise children with every fiber of my being mainly because they're close to me in height.

canceled talk gives us a glimpse of how college admins are total wimps. ♪making your way in the world today♪ ♪takes everything you've got♪ ♪ ♪taking a break from all your worries ♪ ♪sure would help a lot ♪ ♪wouldn't you like to get away? ♪ ♪ ♪ sometimes you want to go ♪ ♪where everybody knows your name ♪ ♪ ♪and they're always glad you came ♪ are you taking a statin drug to reduce cholesterol? it can also deplete your coq10 levels. i recommend considering qunol coq10 along with your statin medication. the brand i trust is qunol. ♪ ♪ just two pills for all day pain relief.

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>> oh yeah, cancel party ♪♪ >> greg: this talk about leftist violence was shut down in silence. dartmouth surrendered in france. journalist andy notes of dartmouth college in bartending correspondent school was canceled last week after antifa canceled its protest on campus. will the school change its nickname from big green to big yellow to match the street down their back. they were set to give a talk with ex-antifa member gabriel about far left extremist in america. so far so good. we're all opposed to extremist violence, right? not so fast. after the event was announced.

leftist trolls online threatened violence if the school allowed the talk to take place. dogs had to do a sweep before his arrival. they sniffed for body odor. three dogs were hospitalized. dartmouth pulled the plug due to safety concerns. that's the worst excuse that i heard since "i can't go out with you. " ari, what do you make of this story? >> first, i got weight lifted when i applied to dart -- wait listed when i applied to dartmouth. they never told me if i was in and out. if they tell me i'm in, i'm not going. i went to middlebury. this is everything that's wrong with this country right now. this is what we were talking about earlier with the aclu. he's got every right to go to that campus and give a speech.

this practice of the left in shutting down voices they don't agree with in uniform and with support of school faculty and school administrators, this is the problem. you talk about polarization in our country, this is what drives it when you shut someone down, don't let them come on a college campus. >> greg: it's ironic about an event about leftist violence canceled over a threat of leftist violence -- >> sort of making the point for andy and proving the thesis of the talk. this is the pure hecklers' veto. it is horrible. it incentivizes more of this stuff. it reminds me a few years ago i spoke at brown, very far left ivy league school and there was the normal yelling and screaming and they wrote a petition, this whole manifest and they called me homophobic. i was like, who is going to tell them? they had to bring in police. they had dog sniffing. they were checking people for guns. these are brown students them don't have guns.

it ended up being fine. brown stood up to the mob saying he's going to speak and we're protecting free speech. if you're dartmouth right now, you're getting shown up by brown on this stuff? like what's going on in hanover? that's embarrassing. >> greg: kat, he was often beaten up by antifa. they basically chose a side. >> yes, but also i don't know if they realize it or not but it's horrible this happened, horrible they'd beaten him up but he's got a bigger career because they keep doing this. >> greg: that's a streisand. >> one of the antifa members say i'll pay you if you beat him up. that's what he claimed. no. he got paid because of what you guys did. he's now even more famous and well-known for exactly this. so obviously it's a horrible thing, and obviously not something i condone or him, but you know what? they're not accomplishing what they think they are. >> greg: you don't condone him? >> i don't condone him getting beaten up. >> greg: i got confuse there had.

tyrus, last -- i got confused there. tyrus, last word to you. >> i'm sure twitter canceled their accounts immediately for the threats or stuff. that's the good thing. delete those guys. they can't use social media anymore. very positive thing on that. i think for every person regardless of whatever side of the fence you are, if you're canceled, you're not given a voice. i kept thinking about what would be a good show for saturday night. it's the cancel platform. if you're canceled, come to fox and you get an hour and you can do your schtick. they come on and could do their show. they'll get way more people watching and ratings and stuff. that's the new thing. canceled? give ace call and do your show. >> greg: that's the new hour. >> the good news is once he's canceled, he could be a guest. it all works out. >> greg: brilliant. thank you. up next, commi china's absurd routine editing famous movie scenes.

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>> greg: the first rule of fight club is change the ending and give it a redub. yeah, china took a classic from brad pitt and turned it into commi bull. yes. that's the gist of the centered version of the movie that's now allowed in china which reverses the ending and has the police averting the anarchists' plan

which is as believable as the chinese overting covid. there's spoilers ahead. if you've never seen the movie, hit yourself in the face until you're unconscious. the chinese version replaces this ending scene where the narrator and marla watch buildings explode with the screens showing the verses the police figured out the plan and arrested the criminals successfully preventing the bomb from exploding. that's a happy ending. why not show brad pitt getting run over by a tank in tiananmen square. the all-time classic "seven." >> when i said i admired you, i meant what i said. >> what's in the box? what's in the box? >> having some to remind us of your lovely wife. >> just what's in the box?

oh, oh my gosh. blueberry muffin. >> gluten-free? >> my wife is going to love these because she's alive and her head's attached to her body. >> greg: i think they made the movie better, guy, what do you think? >> fabulous. i personally enjoyed the chinese version of shawshank redemption where they're arrested on the beach and shipped off to a labor camp because the warden was the good guy, as we all know. >> greg: that's such a chinese -- a -- how do i say it? >> you got it. >> greg: thank you. [laughter] how can you improve on "seven's" ending when you decapitate gwyneth paltrow? sorry, guys. >> i'm not touching on that. it's a movie. it's so hard to spoil the government in real life. only really ever happens in my imagination. >> greg: uh-huh. >> but i think -- don't you think people would realize it's not -- are a lot of movies

ending like that? just like words on the screen in china? >> greg: i hope so. >> wouldn't you watch enough of them and go, there's got to be more. >> greg: movies are too long. do that in the middle of a bond film and i'd be so happy. bond films are too long. my butt goes numb. i have to stopping it. i start thinking about things, tyrus. i bet film companies won't care as long as they get money, right? >> absolutely. here's the thing, this is what china does. china is being honest. what we should be looking at is how we're starting to be a lot more like china, like in the last segment. you say the wrong thing, you can't perform. they change the endings of movies. you can't do this if you're that. somebody was getting into trouble because they had a cuban playing on "westside story." so we're seeing it in america. they're like, "look what china is doing!" we don't have tiananmen square. we have twitter. they'll book your book -- they'll burn your book, ideas or anything you do. it's a mirror of what is happening here. china's always been that way.

we can't be shocked. we should be knocked by the fact on how many people will say how terrible that is but go on twitter and say cancel kat because she disagrees with me on something. >> greg: that's a fair point. it's not like the nba cares -- and china, this is what we do. screw you. america pretends to be high and mighty and we're not. >> it's worse than that. there's a huge section of shanghai where you can go there and get l.l.bean and north star, any kinds of books or clothes you want, all knockoffs. the government sort of let's it happen. >> greg: i can do that in new york. >> only on limited street corners. there's a huge section of town. when colin powell there was on the strip and looked at his chandelier in the hotel in beijing and the microphones were dangling. they didn't do a good job of tucking them away. he looks at the mics and goes "testing 1-2-3" testing. that's what they do that's who they are. >> greg: reminds me of my

bathrooms back at my ranch. yeah. don't go away, we'll be right back. [applause]

>> greg: thanks ari fleischer, "fox news @ night" with shannon bream is next. i love you, america. ♪ ♪ >> shannon: hello and welcome to "fox news @ night," i'm shannon bream in washington. breaking tonight, parents and students across the country frustrated and confused over continuously changing mask guidelines and pending legal flights. in loudoun county, virginia, just outside the nation's capital, protests outside the school board meeting reaching a breaking point tonight. >> whyan