parliament recently? >> canadians including a senior member of the liberal caucus are speaking loud and clear. [crowd booing] >> laura: he got up and left. "gutfeld!" is next. ♪♪ >> greg: what's his name? i can't remember his name! why do i care? why do you care? clap! [applause] happy thursday, everyone. what a magical show we have for you. that's because it's time again once more for... so just the other day, i was sending a text to a close friend of mine. i'm lying. i'm making up an antidote to kick off this monologue.

i don't have any close friends other than my goldfish aid and even he hates me but while sending the text, i wanted to end it with the right emoji. thumbs up, if you will. problem is i'm white -- i know, spoiler -- but usually i use the default thumbs up that pops up. kind of yellow. what's called these days simpson's yellow except for the time i caught scurry from cat, i'm not yellow -- cartoon yellow, i'm white, so white i wear khakis to bed. if i choose canary yellow aren't i cloaking my whiteness or hiding my privilege? i might call it appropriating. i'm white using a yellow thumb. the question plagued me. i couldn't sleep or eat. i could barely look at myself in the mirror which could have been fatal if i were jessie waters. all this time as a white man, i was identifying as a simpson and not even a hot one like ashley

or o.j. well, thank god for npr because they tackled this dilemma for me. yes, in between fun drives and profiles of trans cheap, they published an article on which skin color emoji you should use. the reply, the answer is more complex than you think and that's because depending on your race t could denote white privilege especially if you use the yellow thumbs up emoji. that means if you're white, you're ignorant of your own advantage in life like being able to choose any emoji you want. some people don't have that privilege like some minorities and also careless woodshop teachers. by the way, even though i'm white mike, thumb identifies as a pinky. now, the article is so important that it actually took three authors to put it together. even my employees didn't laugh. that's two more authors than it took to write "war & peace" and

20 less than it took to write "how i saved the world." their beef many people of color are exhausted. that's the word they used. they're exhausted with having to grapple with emoji issues while white people ignore it subconsciously. we assume yellow thumb is neutral some academics, i.e. freaks, saying opting to make that choice is -- i'm out of poop jokes since i started that juice blend but covid and crime are big problems and it would be great if this emoji thing were so big an issue we could lead off the show with it. how awesome would your life be if all you had to deal with was being exhausted by emoji privilege. hey, joe, you look down. are you feeling ok? yeah, i was fine, i was up until 4:00 this morning trying to decide how to sign off on a text. want to talk about actual privilege? the most privy thing is the

existence of this article. imagine the sheer lack of problems you would have that would allow to you spend all this time and effort wondering if your emoji might be racist. i have an inkling this is not a concern for anyone who has a sick relative or for any victim of crime this kind of concern only exists with people with woke privilege, academics, people that don't have anything to do but write silly little articles to show how smart they are. these are pointless people lucky to be alive and an easy time to be alive. it's america 2022. netflix, uber, porn hub, pot, life a breeze for the lazy and shipless. by comparison on this day in history, february 10th, 1862, a union naval flotilla which i believe is a boat with salsa and cheese, destroyed the confederate mosquito fleet in the battle of elizabeth city in north carolina. by the way, how hard is it to beat a fleet named after an

insect you can quill a flyswatter? i love to read wikipedia in the buff which got me removed from the public library. that battle like so many that were waged assured 160 years later three losers could write an article about emojis. back then, they had real problems. hell, today, we have real problems. crime wave, inflation, covid, joe biden, but in the woke world, those aren't concerns. emojis are. joe rogan is hoop earrings, remember when they were racist? it's problems like emojis and all the other crap that make academics feel more important and npr look enlightened. in the real world, they don't accomplish a damn thing. it's stupid, so stupid i'm giving them a thumbs down, and, yeah, i'm using the wrong color and the wrong finger. [applause] welcome to tonight's guests. when this lawyer approaches the bench, the judges run for cover, former acting attorney general

matt whittaker. [applause] if he were a cereal, he'd be razin kane's, fox and friends weekend host will cane. she's like a vintage car, loud, shiny and will break down when you least expect it. fox news contributor kat and the whole nine yards refers to its -- my massive sidekick and the nwa world champion tyrus. >> hey, greg. >> greg: yes. >> i'm the only woman here again. like guys sound in here. >> guys sound you say? that's an interesting concept, guys sound. i wonder what guys town would be like ♪ guys town, gambling and whip your butt lifting weights. seriously cool. watching sports with your friends and being handsome.

it's ok if you're not handsome. guys town. thursday will be guys town. you want to see a skit? i forgot about the skit. there was a skit that was supposed to be in the monologue. couldn't fit it in but it's a skit. want to see it? >> yes. >> yes. >> greg: ok, let's see a skit. oh hey, stacey. great job on that presentation today. really killed it. >> sure it's all thumbs up to you. you're a white man. >> oh, hey, conner, great sales numbers, man. keep it up. >> dude, my dad died picking up a hitchhiker that did that. that hitchhiker murdered him so let's cool it with the thumbs up. >> oh, hey, courtney, great job at the company's softball game. >> i'm a devoted dog mom, all right? they don't have thumbs. that was really triggering for me just now. >> ok.

ok. fine. fine. fine. fine, i'm getting rid of the thumbs up. [applause] >> greg: and replacing it with these! stick that in your npr tote bag! well there you go. it's guy town with skit. last time i checked, you were white. what color emoji do you use? how do you feel about this analysis of the emoji issue? >> i use the yellow emoji, greg, when i use emojis. >> greg: of course. >> of course, i do. there we go. let me ask you a question, tyrus, if you and i were textin- >> it could happen. >> i don't have your number, but maybe one day, if i sent you the white thumbs up, wouldn't you go, oh, look at will. little white pride there? i went out of my way to opt out

of the default yellow emoji to select the white thumb emoji and that wouldn't raise your eyebrow? >> that's a good point. >> i do that. >> my eyebrows would be raised at one dude texting emojis to another dude. why is he sending me emojis? he could have just said bye. so, yeah, but you're right, you made a great point because if i was having a bad day, i would say this racist [bleep] let me know he's white. let me show him i'm not white and find the darkest thumb i can. >> greg: it's true. the cause is to overthink this. you and i happen to share the same thumb on the phone but you're a different size. they don't have size options for thumbs. >> they don't have size options. they don't have an option if i've been in florida for a week, and so there's a lot of complications to the thumb, but this whole story made me want to go to the whole green throwup emoji. there's a pregnant man emoji

that's available in your standard keyboard. >> greg: apparently you don't watch this show, because we covered the pregnant man last week, didn't we? >> they were all over that. >> greg:er with the first -- -- we're the first -- there was a whole show devoted to that. bret baier was live on location after the pregnant emoji man came out which is actually in the metaverse. kat, you are a -- what are you? >> i'm a lot of things. >> greg: no, but in the age group, you're a -- >> i'm a millennial. >> greg: you're a millennial when you talk to your millennial friends, what do they say? >> um. >> that is such a terrible -- >> you never seem older than you did just now. >> greg: i think you know what it is. i just don't care about this story. >> what are on the kids in the streets saying these days? >> how do you do, fellow kids? yeah, we need to all start learning mandarin because we're

done. i use the white emoji. >> greg: you do? typical. >> not because i'm confronting my group. it's just because, like, i know what color i am which i think, you know, good for me, i guess. i just think that a better headline for this article would have been either i nor anyone i know has a real problem. try to criticize other people and say this is what -- you know, people, black people are really worried about this, is that true? i don't think that's true. >> greg: yeah, yeah. it's a lot like when you were talking about joe rogan and it was like this is -- this is not something that is important on your radar but it's something that is happening in the woke world with white leftists who think this is important, and that this needs to be solved. >> once again, greg, i'm the only black guy on this show. let's roll black guy town. where's the sketch? >> greg: that's next week.

we're going to do it. you don't know. i could be planning a big black guy town just for you. >> well, that was about as serious that has stupid story is. first-world problems. they're getting out of hand. we have so many first-world problems. >> greg: yes. >> we pay no attention to what is really going on the fact this even made the light of day, that somebody spends time trying to figure out what thumb color to send to somebody else when don't you usually know the person you're texting? it's not like i just found out that they're -- >> do you think they're friends? >> greg: the people that wrote that story have friends. >> i think they have a deadline and they got a thumbs up from their editor or their boss and they're like, i hate his thumb color so i'm going to make it racist. >> they quoted an emoji researcher. that's not real. >> greg: that's the other thing, like we should spend just one moment ridiculing the authors, because it took three

of them. >> let me be the contrarian for a moment. it could be these authors are on the cutting edge. i have two sons that spend a lot of time online. you get to select your skin on for the knight. you could select your emoji -- fortnite. you could select the emoji you participate in. a lot of people will be there. kat will be there. >> greg: are you sick? you're not going to be here? >> i'm saying the metaverse. >> what about the fun when you like someone's text? that's paper white. they didn't comment on that. i'm worried three people didn't look into the real issue here. >> greg: they needed a fourth person. they needed a fourth person. >> i do the reverse thing so the thumb is black when i do it but i've never done it a little correction, it's avatar, and most of the kids use the green, blue, purple or something that

hasn't been discovered yet a unicorn horn so they've completely -- >> greg: that's true. >> my kids do it, too, so -- and they have wings. lots of wings. >> greg: i think we really crushed this topic. >> my favorite segment today. >> greg: it's the best segment on fox. >> bret baier on line one. >> greg: tell him i'm busy. he always calls -- he knows when i'm taping the show. he'll wait up. up next, as the media's credibility is destroyed, they report on something. it's my 5:52 woke-up-like-this migraine medicine. it's ubrelvy. for anytime, anywhere migraine strikes. without worrying if it's too late or where i am. one dose can quickly stop my migraine in its tracks within 2 hours. unlike older medicines, ubrelvy is a pill that directly blocks cgrp protein, believed to be a cause of migraine. do not take with strong cyp3a4 inhibitors. most common side effects were nausea and tiredness. ask about ubrelvy and learn how abbvie can help you save.

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>> greg: oh my god, the walls are closing in! were important documents flusked? maybe says the paper no one could trust, this as biden lunges in a poll which has

liberal hopes circling the bowl. donald trump clogged white house toilets. you have to think about that for a while. in a new book, "new york times" reporter maggie habrum claims the president would clog white house toilets by trying to flush documents down them. >> as i was reporting out this book, i learned the staff and the white house residents would periodically find the toilet clogged. the engineer would have to come and fix it. what the engineer would find is clumped up wet paper. this wasn't toilet paper but notes or pieces of paper they believe he had thrown down the toilet. what it could be is anyone's guess? it could be post-its or notes he wrote to himself. >> greg: this is way more important than the crime wave. trump calls this another fake story. maybe there was no paper being flushed. we do know president biden's

ratings are in the crapper. this week for the first time since taking office, joe's approval rating fell below 40% in one national average. he's less approved of than the guy with the face tattoos dating your daughter. speaking of 40's, it's my favorite after-lunch drink, inflation is rising at its fastest rate in 40 years with no signs of slowing down. if joe takes us any deeper into the 1970's, we'll all be wearing bell-bottoms and dating cher. meanwhile, crime is still off the charts. 2021, u.s. border rate was as high as it's been in 25 years. 19,000 people were killed nationwide. other than that everything's great. right, joe? >> no. no. no, look, look, look, the, the, the, what do they always say? the rising tide lifts all the, you know, all the things. come on, the, the -- what goes

up must come down, right? spinning wheels spinning around. who said that? i don't know but i -- i'm putting blood, sweat and tears into this thing, and you gotta -- remember the -- what's the, the, the thing there, um, oh my god, boats. boats, the tide lifts the boats. a-ha-ha, you didn't think old joe had it in him dya? -- did ya? boom. >> the engineers at the white house believes they could have been papers. could have been post-it notes or a recipe for lasagna we never know. if you're trying to sell books -- i did have a book come out. it's the best trump book out there. >> greg: i'm sorry. i didn't know you had a book. >> you should have blurbed it. you didn't.

i'll blurb your book next. >> greg: thank you. >> in reality, this is the only thing the left has. what about it? what about trump? they kind of continue this. we know maggie at the end of her notebook is this is the thing she's talking about now. there's no more trump stories out of the white house after this the left at cnn and your friend brian have to figure out what they're going to do now. >> greg: they're in big trouble. the walls are closing in. every time there's a trump story, the walls are closing in. >> bombshell. that's a wrap. here we go. this is the worst thing since nixon. someone stuffed paper in the toilet. ok. what else you got? because if it's a copy of a paper, then there's another copy somewhere else. quid pro quo. go find that one. the only thing that's gone up since biden's been in -- and he's got three things i guess he could stick to his re-election is crime, homicide and inflation. those are the things that have really just sky rocketed since

he's come into office. but yet you want to talk about a paper in a toilet. ok. >> greg: but it makes me miss him. i'll tell you, you know, k at, remember the good old days when those were the stories. the stories were insane flushing stuff down a toilet but it didn't kill anybody. now the stories about biden is you can't buy things or things are more expensive. there's raging crime. you know what i'm saying. the contrast is stark. >> i do know what you're saying. i mean, biden, he like kind of did unite everyone in the fact that we all agree now that we hate it here. everybody thinks the country is not doing well although i have questions about papers you flush down the toilet more because everything's digital. if it's in the toilet, you'll find it somewhere else. i don't know. >> greg: what if it's handwritten? >> no one does that anymore! >> greg: trump does.

trump writes notes though, doesn't he? >> what -- >> i know the answer to that. >> greg: everyone on a post-it note, p.s., tell vladimir thank you and then he flushes it down the toilet. he goes to the bathroom and crumples it. >> then he goes mu-ha-ha-ha. >> if trump was on twitter, there'd be so many things they could be talking about they're really looking for stuff. i bet they regret taking him off twitter. >> watching the whole interview which was brutal -- i would rather get an open root canal with no -- i think it hit her with how stupid her story was and cnn went into -- what about this and that? she said, i don't want to go there. it sound good and as she spoke it, she's like, oh no. she stopped it. argument broke out because they were like, could it be russian -- she's like, no, no, no. i'm not saying that. thank you. back to you, tom. they were done.

>> to your point, greg, it does make me miss trump, because it makes them lose their minds. not only were these stories insane, they were fake. the vast majority of these stories were absolute sheer insanity, made up, made up fairytales. and they indulged it every step of the way. it's the crack pipe that can't wait -- they can't wait to get back to. on the very same day this is what they were talking about, it's reported inflation, one of tyrus' green notes of biden's accomplishment that has have gone up, inflation hit 7.5% to your point, the high nest 40 years on the very same -- the highest in 40 years on the very same day, trump flushed the paper down the toilet. >> greg: i would take a backed-up toilet over inflation any day. sometimes i have. i don't know what that means, but you know what? you knew i would pick a story that had trump and toilets. you knew it. >> and it wasn't funny. that's the cool part. it's almost sad. >> yeah. yeah. >> it's like seeing a boxer who can't go any more. >> they didn't even have to do

inflation. did someone not tell them about the emoji story with the thumbs? >> greg: ha-ha. >> i'm happy to report president trump is alive and doing very well. >> greg: have you talked to him lately? >> i have. >> greg: he must like you, hah? >> well, i don't know what that means but i'm a likable person, greg. >> greg: i could see him, he's a big guy. he's just a big guy. big guy, yeah. he likes to wrestle. he always talks about people's physicality. i never do that. >> well. >> greg: what about guy town? guy town so far has been prettys obsolete for the hollywood elite? ♪ got my ears ♪ ♪ got my heart ♪ ♪ got my soul ♪ ♪ got my mouth ♪ ♪ i got life ♪ unleash the freshness...

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having everything i want in the place i love. jamaica. heartbeat of the world. let's go! >> greg: the oscars no longer demand vaccine passes for stars to kiss each other's asses. yeah, you don't need an extra

needle to sit next to don cheadle. it's true. our hollywood scolders won't need to jab their shoulders as deadline reports the academy awards are ditching the vaccine requirements for this year's show. however, attendees will have to show a recent negative covid test and a full blood panel and lab work if they've come into contact with pete davidson within the past month. we got to get an audience back. the oscars are still figuring out whether masks will be required which is always a challenge when you're doing rails of coke. meanwhile on another channel, this guy said this about me and our week of upcoming shows in dallas. >> you know, fox's greg gutfeld? a late-night host. he's taking his show down to dallas. the audience members who show up must show proof of vaccination or a negative covid test to get in, something that's not even required for other events at that same venue. so there you have it. that's the fox anchor's

requirement to see him, vaxed or test like biden's vax or test mandate. the hypocrisy writes itself. >> greg: first, ari, thanks for the plug but we're already sold out in one hour but you're a lawyer. you know words. it's not a vax mandate if there's an "or "i before it. we welcomed the unvaxed to the show. you just have to take a covid test to make sure you're not sick which i support and we can supply -- it's right by the door and like my charisma t costs nothing but hey, ari, you know better. i always say the same thing, i'm double vaxed. i'm not for vax mandates. i've said it before. i get it. you can't covert disastrous biden presidency, so what are you left with? attacking me, a true american hero who initiated the end of the pandemic on live tv. you know, it's amazing i don't have a cult by now. speaking of, hawaii has scrapped

a plan that would have required booster shots for tourists. many will no longer have to invade that tiny island nation. we go now to our hawaii correspondent for realtime action. i'd like to invite him to guy town. you know what i'm saying? no, you don't. >> not even a little bit. no. nope, actually, i shoot raccoon them try to get my fish and my reptile house. >> greg: isn't it great hollywood is listening to us that they're actually -- >> i have to go back to sports in this one. we have to -- and it's very important for us to be good winners and good sportsmen. >> greg: that's a good point. >> because if we keep doing the "i told you so" they'll keep

this [bleep] going because they just don't want to say it but what we need to is go to an about-face and go, ok, no, no, no, we need mandates and masks and rally -- i'm giving the point away -- i'm seeing democratic senators and doh, doh, doh, about time? welcome to the adult party. thank you. and keep going forward. it hurts and it burns. i know! i know! but we have to be good sports about this one, just this one, because i am -- i'm with you, we both just said we're not wearing the mask anymore, and i just -- and luckily being a big dude, they just kind of act like they don't see me. >> he's bigger than me and i'm afraid of him. >> they act like they don't see it. i walk in the building and go, what's up, man? they're like, what's going on? >> greg: big guys and attractive women don't have to wear masks. what guy will tell a beautiful

woman to cover her face? >> only a flight attendant. >> i'm going to take it a different angle. you talk about hypocrisy. ari were not after you for being a hypocrite. you're not, greg. you're a tender-hearted human being. this is what liberals do. they find something inconvenient -- you still need to have a vax card and i.d. to get a five guys hamburger to go into the restaurant in washington d.c. they're still applying this to the working-class people, the people that have to drive the cabs and actually do the work and probably -- i'm sure the people serving that the oscar gala or going to be masked, and so, you know, this is a fake coming around to our way of thinking. >> greg: at five guys, it would be really good right about now! kat? five guys at the guy town? >> you guys could do whatever you want. >> greg: what do you make -- what would you like to tackle? there's a difference between

government mandates, federal government mandates that could threaten your career or livelihood and going to a show. >> yes, although i just -- i don't think there's a vax mandate when you have to have a vaccine to get into a place. businesses could do whatever they want. it doesn't make any sense. you could still get covid and spread it. only reason to still support this is because you already did support it. you already got vaccinated. you spent so much time. this was your whole thing. the same reason people stay married sometimes. you already invested so much, you don't want to change the instagram caption where you said you married your best friend and partner in crime is the best decision you ever made when it turns out it wasn't. you don't have to go back and tell everybody that, so you just stay whether it's the mandate or the marriage. >> greg: you just described the sunken cost fallacy. we all understand it. >> i'm surprised ari climbed back on the high horse everyone else is running away from the

ranch. the entire covid protocol regime is falling apart and he still felt there was room for him to climb back up there and look down his nose at you. what's sad is all that will be left at the end of this thing is the zombie shuffling around still stuck in fear. this is real costs. i'm not going to be ready forgive and forget. too much damage has been done over the last two years. there'll be people who weren't cynical or. [indiscernible] who really and truly bought into this fear. i'm afraid they won't come back. they'll be left as the zombies shuffling around in this society. >> greg: like my rogue warrior nation. >> he did say your name with a lot of passion. you can't say his name mean. how do you say it? >> greg: pugnacious. >> ari. >> more people saw ari on fox news than they did on the original channel. >> that's true. >> greg: we crush him on the ratings. he's on at 6:00. we're on at 11:00.

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>> greg: i hate having to do a correction here but in the kind of show -- but this is the kind of show i run. we made a mistake we get three times the demo of ari's show. not two but three. i regret making that error. i apologize and i won't let you guys down ever again. all right. do you think you're stupid if you haven't been shot by cupid? this poll says you're a victim of hate if you haven't yet found a mate. yeah, just in time to make singles feel bad before valentine's day. a new survey seeks to answer the question are single people more discriminated against than couples? the u gov poll of 1,000 americans highlights singlism which describes the hardship of being unmarried, specifically laws, policies or practices that

favor couples, for example, married people often pay less in taxes and benefit more from social security. and not to mention lotion. surveyed participants were asked whether single people are stigmatized and discriminated against. 42% said yeah. 40% said no. the other 20% couldn't get reception in their basement apartment. kat. >> yep. >> greg: you've been married for eight weeks. so you remember being single and now that you're married, do you feel you were discriminated against and left discriminated against now? >> yes. >> greg: yes? >> like food delivery apps, you could never meet the minimum if it's just you gregg that's true. >> all of these things -- it's just you. >> greg: that's true. >> all of these things. when you're single, you're not marriage material. no one says that to me now that i'm married but i'm still not marriage material. >> greg: ha-ha.

so true. will, you know why i hate married people with kids? they have excuses for everything. oh i can't. little billy has head lice. oh, little -- if you're single, you can't say -- you don't have anything to write off your hangover on. >> you just get hard in course and just say no. i bet you just said no. you want this? no. i have the excuses. soccer games, whatever -- we got to get to -- >> greg: it's always a soccer game. it's not even a sport. >> oh, you'll hurt a lot of little boys in texas right now. hope they're not watching. >> my daughter has practice right now. you better watch t gutfeld. >> greg: that's -- you better watch it, gutfeld. >> greg: that's why i said it. >> it's ok to discriminate against singles. >> greg: why? >> because you should get married and start a family. >> oh, shut up. >> you should. you should. >> you should shut up. >> you should start a family.

>> ok, all right, thank you for letting me know what i should do with my uterus. >> i'm here for you for this whole show. >> greg: that's beautiful. >> any way, what i like about this story, greg, is we're now creatingisms -- this is -- creatingisms, singlisms out of a survey polled. survey says... singlism. it's 40-40-20. not sure that was definitive on whether this is an issue or not. >> greg: i think it is an issue. .i for one, tyrus, when i go to the movies alone, i feel self-conscious especially if you're masturbating. i'm not -- i'm just saying for single people. >> what the shell your question, you little freak? what do you -- all right, pee wee. what's your question? >> greg: my question is do you believe there's such a thing as singlism? >> only when a single friend asks me for a loan and i'm like, you got no kids, you got no wife.

why are you broke? what are you doing with yourself? >> spend is it on vices to fill the knoll your heart. -- hole in your heart. duh. >> it's not excuses raising children. i decided to have children first and did the marriage thing on the back end but neither here nor there. it's altogether now and one big disgruntled baby mamma family but we make it work. >> greg: you need to have -- >> according to court. >> greg: according to court. >> the point is whenever a single person is whiny to a married couple with children, of course we hate them. it's like you have no idea. you've never had to do the quickie in five seconds in the closet so they won't find you. you never -- they always want to sleep in the room with you. they're always around you. everything they do. when you have something nice, you end up with fingerprints on it and goo and glitter glitter. when the single person is like oh my god -- shut up.

go away! you have no idea. >> greg: also, single people just have an endless ly of sleep. >> and energy. >> greg: yes. yes. >> and choices. >> greg: and choices. you know what? i think we've changed your mind, will. up next, a school compares sex to pepperoni and parents respond with acrimony. hello, how can i? sore throat pain? ♪honey lemon♪ try vicks vapocool drops in honey lemon chill for fast acting sore throat relief ♪ahhh!♪ wooo! vaporize sore throat pain with

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>> greg: they asked kids their sexual preference using pizza as a reference. this quiz is one whopping misuse of a topping. ha-ha. john f. kennedy middle school in connecticut asked eighth graders to decide their sexual preferences using pizza toppings. now like ted kennedy driving into the lake, they claim the assignment was just an accident. what a leap. the so-called pizza and consent assignment given to students stated "when you order pizza with your friends, everyone checks in about each other's preferences, right? well, the same goes with sex." yeah, exactly. in both cases you asked who ordered anchovies? then it asked students who were in the eighth grade, mind you, to create a pizza describing what kind of sex they like using

various toppings to symbolize different sex acts. i bet buffalo chicken means something illegal but i salute the kid who said a large with everything. i can't believe this story is real. the assignment was quickly deleted and the superintendent said it was simply an error. they sent the wrong document. an excuse prompting everyone who had ever been featured on "to catch a predator" to say "i wish i decided that." sex is like a pizza, better with a thin crust, but this assignment was -- >> i'm going to hit you. >> greg: i know you're going to hit me, but this assignment was grocer than day-old dominoes. the only people that should mix sex and pizzas are pizza guys and vhs pornos. only if the housewives had the money. is this real? >> this is an awful story. you're literally giving super powers to pedophiles! they're literally getting code

words to talk to children. johnnie, would you like an olive today? they're in court and they're like, what? i just asked him if he wanted a salad or an olive. whoever puts this together needs a background check now, because this was a blueprint for code words so they cannot be held accountability in court. >> the document out by mistake. why is the document out there in the first place? >> who wrote it and sat in front of his computer, if i could only teach children to use code words for sex they like so they could pick the one and use it. this is terrible. >> greg: i didn't see that angle. >> you're not a parent. >> greg: that's true. that's true. i'm not. is this disturbing? do you think it's real? do you buy their excuse? that's three questions. >> it's so disturbing it is hard to believe, it is hard to believe it's real. here is what counterintuitive. i don't know how old your kids are. i happen to have an eighth grader. i'm not speaking about this eighth grader in particular -- >> you're generalizing. >> i'm generalizing.

i find kids today despite all of this stuff going on, they're not quite as advanced as we were perhaps in eighth grade. they're home on computers. they're not -- >> with people. >> they're not as wild as you might think despite being ned nonsense. >> that was the point. he was trying to find out who was, because kids are into dragon ball z and video games. they're really not -- you know. >> greg: would you prosecute these people? >> this story -- i'm troubled because i actually misread it and i thought this was an assignment for the show, so i'm going to go back and read the story. >> greg: ha-ha. >> but this all seriousany, -- seriousness, this is where the wokism has now infected so far down that it's going from colleges and discussing consent and signing consent contracts and now we're trying to push it down and to your point, this'll

start going into grade schools and they'll start talking about things and, again, the parents should be in charge of this discussion. parents should have control and the power to make sure that their kids, you know, learn about what they need to learn about and when they're ready learn about it. >> greg: that's a great. now that tyrus puts it like that, it does feel that way. >> what the hell is a teacher asking a child what sexual acts they like? >> greg: were they saying it was a sex ed document for a high school that ended up in grade school? >> there's no school. >> you can't talk about sex without talking about pizza, maybe you shouldn't be having sex. >> greg: they ruined pizza for me. >> never look at olives the same. >> greg: i never put olives in my pizza. >> what are you talking about? are you talking about olives or not? >> greg: i don't know. we'll be right back.

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>> greg: we're almost out of time. maybe we have time, though, for another trip to guy town. hah? ♪ guy town, coming in to whip your butt, lifting weights.

watching sports with your friends and being handsome, but it's ok if you're not handsome. guy town. thanks to matt whittaker, will, tyrus and kat timpf. that's guy town. i'm greg gutfeld. i love you, america. up next is shannon bream. >> shannon: hello and welcome to fox news @ night. i'm shannon bream in washington. breaking tonight, americans growing more frustrated with persistent inflation under the biden administration now in its highest rate in 40 years. why republicans say the net effect in rising prices is actually like a pay cut for you. we'll explain what it means for your wallet plus how it could affect your super bowl party plans this weekend and we're starting a new segment here