and gender studies props and another is a noted folk singer. >> ♪ somewhere past the pandemic, masks will come off ♪ no more need for a nose swab every time we cough ♪♪ ♪♪ >> greg: so say something clever, guys! i think he's better than that. clap, you people. clap, every last one of you. happy wednesday, everyone. we've got a great show tonight. i'm not kidding. jamie is back. if he was any smarter or cuter, he'd be me and kellyanne conway is here. i'm so excited to see her. hearing her name has jim acosta clutching his zoe love. we're going to do -- zolof.

we're going to do something different tonight. tonight, i'm going to bore you to tears. seriously, why should colbert and kimmel be the only ones allowed to do that on late-night tv. yes this segment is on... ethanol! whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! hold on. we're going to do fun stuff in the next block. i promise. ok, fine. before we get to the ethanol, here is hillary refusing to answer questions as to who her presidential campaign spied on former president donald trump. >> did you pay to spy on the trump campaign? when are you going to comment on the spying allegations, hillary? did you pay to have him spied on? >> hillary, hillary, hillary. >> greg: well, that was great. as you know, it's alleged lawyers from hillary's campaign in 2016 paid to access servers belonging to trump tower and

later the white house in order to establish a narrative to bring to federal government agencies that would link donald trump to russia. even though hillary wouldn't answer questions on that, she managed to tweet saying, "trump and fox desperately spinning up a fake scandal to distract us from his real one. so it's a day that ends in loss." hm. look, pants suit, no one had to spin this up. it didn't come from "fox & friends" or mar-a-lago or kim jong-un's butt hole it came from an investigation. no wonder you're pleading for the media to circle their wagons around you. as you pushed russian collusion nonstop and turns out you were the collusion the whole time. we'll get to ethanol first. like a parent making you eat the broccoli before you get the pudding nor kat's case, lithium. here is the brand-new nexio.

>> the most important story you'll hear tonight no one else bothered to report because it makes everyone look stupid except for people like greg who were right all along! >> greg: yeah, ethanol, as you know, is made from corn or as liz warren calls it, maize. for years, it was mixed into gasoline to be sold in america's gas pumps amassing something no one wanted being forced on you. the reason? it was better for the planet. corn that would normally go to feed millions of people around the globe or tyrus for a week instead would fill your gas tank. but get this, now it turns out ethanol is a much bigger contributor to global warming than straight gasoline according to a new study. yep, everything they told us about ethanol and climate was just like russian collusion, covington, kavanaugh, the origins of covid and what's really inside geraldo's mustache. it's all b.s. but yet it's another liberal fantasy that causes the opposite of its goal like government spending, fixing

poverty or the "daily show" inspiring laughter it's all from a study published in the proceedings of the national academy of sciences. it's where i used to work before they caught me abusing a beaker and contradicts previous research showing ethanol is a green energy source. like joe biden in a port-a-pottie, ethanol is no friendly to the environment. ethanol's trade lobby trashed the study. why wouldn't they? they're the ethanol trade lobby, not the society for saving you money to spend on gas station snacks like this amazing lanced crackers with real peanut butter. am i the only one? all right. this has been a cash cow for the lobby and farmers got paid for the corn whether it really worked or not so it's truly impregn source of -- a green source of energy. our oil refiners must make some 15 billion gallons of corn-based ethanol every year.

even to eric swalwell, it's a lot of gas. >> the president used taxpayer dollars to ask the uranians to make them cheat in the election. >> greg: while the policy pretended to reduce emissions, it's a giant subsidy for corn growers. the corn would otherwise be used to feed people. meanwhile, this killing of the fields release in order carbon from the soil while nitrogen fertilizers also produced emissions. dear lord, this is the most research i've done since i decided to sound proof my basement love den. i did so much research, i even uncovered this long, lost video from the corn lobby. ♪♪ corn, it's one of the most versatile crops in the world. sure, you know it as the food your wife makes, but did you know today's brightest minds have come up with hundreds of other uses? for example a can of corn makes a great doorstop.

>> shucks, that door won't budge no normans getting in here. >> that's right! a can of corn could be used as a blunt murder weapon. corn is also great for improving communication. don't forget to hold it up to your ear. we know how you ladies love to talk. >> vacuuming all day hides the pain. >> corn oil is a light and refreshing beverage. tasty, hah? >> what why do you put -- why do you put this in gasoline? >> because shut the [beep] up, kommi. everyone is full of poop, not even corn-filled poop. climate experts, lobbyists and politicians especially. while you struggle to fill your gas tank, they're filling their bank accounts asking for us to subsidize a product. for years, we were told that biden is crap. if we didn't, we hated farmers, though, i admit, i didn't care

for mr. green jeans. even at 10, i wasn't buying it. meanwhile, the price of corn rose for everyone because our gas tanks were now the primary climate. like gas tanks, the cost to fill them went up, too. we were fine. we could eat other stuff. hell, i supplement my diet with rare ocelots. i'm that rich. for poorer countries, corn became more expensive. did anyone starve? who knows? there's no wikipedia page for that, but at least our air was better here, except it wasn't. so there you go. like cnn's programming or russian collusion or maroon 5 music, ethanol subsidies and politicians in general is all garbage. if you're still awake, i hope you enjoyed this boring moment and now back to the regularly scheduled programming and your hunk greg gutfeld. her time at the podium had democrats reaching for imodium. former senior counselor to president trump and author of the new memoir "here's the deal"

kellyanne conway. excuse me this alaskan can't even get a sea lion to clap, actor/writer/comedian jamie light thousand. she's like a -- lithow. she's like a glow stick at raves, kat timpf. my massive sidekick and the nwa world television champion tyrus. kellyanne, welcome to the show. >> thank you. >> greg: you know what i decided to do? you know when you have people over for dinner and find out someone is a vegetarian, you make sure there's a vegetarian option. when i did this monologue ethanol, i decided i needed to have an option for someone who wanted to talk about an interesting story. i wanted to enter the hillary piece because i wanted to get your opinion on that story now that the durham report comes out and she wanted to call it fake news but that term was already

invented. she said fake scandal. what do you make of the turn-about now she's on the defense? >> sounds like the 62% of americans who right before the 2016 election said she was neither honest or trustworthy were onto something because they still feel that way. if she has nothing to hide, she could ignore it what she ignored is daily mail's reporters questioned yesterday, which were poignant, did you or did you not pay for this fake scandal? i would have just said, no, thank you and have a nice day. i think what is happening is that they are caught long after the fact doing exactly what they accused us of doing. i was at the campaign. i was in the white house. apparently, they're surveilling both. jake sullivan is now the national security director for the country. ers the guy who went out -- he's the guy who went out to the podium last week and told the whole world what was going to nap ukraine as does the united states involvement. that's the guy that hillary kept retweeting. he said we have a great connection now between the

server and this and that and the other. it's joe biden that gave us the russian collusion. putin never had a better friend than -- to say nothing of his own pipeline, killed the pipelines here and gave him his own pipeline. hillary is like a bad kennedy. she never really truly goes away you'll need 99 more of her to even make a dollar. i made all of these rumors she may run for office again. i really hope she does, because we already know how to beat her and i will say one thing about hillary clinton, she never truly does anything to benefit anybody other than hillary clinton. she wakes up everyone as the second most popular person in a two-person household -- that's rough -- >> greg: yes! >> then as the day goes on, we realize where is the hillary clinton center for women and girls? bill has one of those, but, no, seriously! what's she done for anyone of note that she's leveraged her power, her fund-raising prowess,

her position to help anyone other than blaming everyone for a loss she really never truly conceded. i think they got caught here. it's worth examining. twitter lit up with, why are we talking about hillary clinton? are you going to impeach her now? they're so obsessed with trump, they got rit of him and can't acquit him so let's get at it with hillary. $45 million for mueller to tell us nothing. i'll put in $45 to investigate this. >> greg: i think it'd be a great summer, jamie. you have a joyce. you could have the -- you have a choice, jamie. you could have the option on what you want to talk about. >> i don't want to have at it with hillary. i'll move over to the ethanol. i learned something from that last segment as i was watching it. i learned fart noises are always funny except when they're real.

always funny but, dude, this is fascinating. i learned a lot when reading about this. i'm glad this information is finally out. as you threw out there, it ends up being true for real. damn, corn has a kick ass publicist. corn was in everything. if you look at the corn soup and you look at -- one day -- corn syrup and you look at -- one day somehow they go, what about corn-flavored gas? one guy is like, i'm listening! that's insane. it's the craziest thing ever. i did look at -- because you know, there's always opinions on both sides. i looked at -- you know this says that it's much worse for the environment if we straight-up went with gas. i looked. i found in 2019, there was a study that said a little bit of the arguing to the opposite. i went deeper into it. it turned out that study was done by corn. >> greg: yes! yes! there you go. >> fascinating. >> greg: very fascinating. tyrus? which story would you like to concentrate on? >> i, too, don't want to have it at with hillary. um, i guess -- you remember that

old movie that we're -- "the inconvenient truth?" i think we're finding with liberals truth sin convenient. they really -- truth is inconvenient. they really need to switch that title. pretty much everything they predicted -- except we also have aoc predictions. we have seven years left and then democracy ends just shortly after the world ends? >> greg: which is world. >> just when the crock roaches -- cockroaches take over, democracy falls out and they're up in arms on what to do because you have socialists crickets taking over what's left of the world so we have all of that to go for. at some point, somebody has to just -- whenever they talk go "stop! just shhh! sit down! no more!" because they're always wrong and when they're wrong and you call them on it, you're a racist so it's like you can't even have a conversation with them. like, "hey, look, i've been doing the numbers on the corn thing and it looks like --" racist! "no, no, no, i'm not a racist. i want you to know that this is

going to be --" sexist! "no, i'm trying to tell you that there's something --" cancel him! he's gone! you can't talk to someone who already has the answers and they're wrong. >> greg: every object in life becomes political, even corn, kat. you probably as a libertarian are probably going, duh! because this is something libertarians have been talking about forever. rand paul has been talking about this. no one listens. >> it's so shocking. it would be better if the government didn't do anything, right? it's another example of something that is said and needs to be done for the common good of everyone but it turned out to be a big scam. >> greg: uh-huh. >> unfortunately, most people learn the wrong lesson from this if they pay attention, which they don't, but if they do, the government needs to do fewer things. >> greg: p.t. passed away yesterday. libertarians aren't about politics.

it's about getting rid of politics out of everything. >> absolutely. >> greg: we ended up putting politics in our oil, gasoline and food and everywhere. >> i want to add one more thing, jamie, that fart was real! >> oh my gosh! >> i'm passionate about the fact he did fart. >> i didn't do that. >> greg: i did a deep dive on ethanol. she did a deep dive on gas. literally. >> i've been researching that since he farted. >> that's the only real thing in the segment. you played what he was saying again, and he was lying about that -- >> but the fart was real. >> oh my gosh. >> that was the only authentic thing. >> greg: the only thing that is honest that came out of swalwell was his fart. >> corn is in more things than kevin hart. >> greg: oh. >> he's doing a lot of stuff he's in a lot of movies and stuff. i love kevin hart. >> they're like the new coke. the democrats are just new coke

and they want it to stay. >> actually, hillary, being in the same topic along with corn made corn very exciting to me. >> at least you know it's corn. >> greg: that's true. i'm really hungry. up next. voters worried about crime and knobs. the democrats are a bunch of snobs. ♪ limu emu ♪ and doug. we gotta tell people that liberty mutual customizes car insurance so you only pay for what you need, and we gotta do it fast. [limu emu squawks] woo! thirty-four miles per hour! new personal record, limu! [limu emu squawks] he'll be back. only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty, liberty, liberty, liberty. ♪ it's my 3:10, no-exit-in-sight, migraine medicine. it's ubrelvy. for anytime, anywhere, migraine strikes. without worrying if it's too late or where i am. one dose can quickly stop my migraine in its tracks

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>> greg: will democrats lose house seats for being out of touch elites. it's true, voters see dems as annoying and shrill and it may cost them on capitol hill enough research from inside the dark, dank bowels from inside the democratic party finds voters in democratic states find that the party comes off as preachy and judgmental. like my drinking in college, it'll cost them in the midterms. that's according to a report from politico which is spanish

for "greg is hot." any way, the democratic congressional campaign committee is apparently report recommending a new strategy to its members, confront what they call the g.o.p.'s alarmingly potent culture war attacks. crazy, since alarmingly potent is pete hess' nickname. in other words, all of that critical race here tory and defunding the police nonsense is coming back to bite the dems in the butt. it's critical considering the g.o.p. only needs to win five seats to take back the majority, less than tyrus needs on a plane. >> you got one. >> greg: ha-ha. but it sounds more and more likely it's going to happen, because like a drunk using fireworks, the dems could actually be looking at double digits. see, because they're drunk using fireworks? a new poll finds republicans hold a nearly 13-point lead on the generic congressional ballots. i'm no math whiz but that's more than a banana.

made sense when i put it in there. and maybe the house dems know a blood bath is coming. new york rep kathleen rice announced he won't be seeking re-election to congress making her the 30th house dem to bow out of the 2022 race. she noted elected officials have to know when it's time to allow others to serve. perhaps the dems could nominate someone who is more in touch with their voters but i won't hold my breath. even their latest strategy session -- check it out. >> yeah, then i just dropped it and ran. look, crime up is in nearly every major u.s. city. >> i've not seen it. >> where have you been? >> skiing in the alps. no crime there. the lift tickets kind of pricey. >> here, inflation is at a 40-year high and voters are pissed. >> seriously? i had a really great dinner at shea pinesse. $800 for two people. very reasonable. >> did you hear about bob? he got brutally mugged in the subway.

ness the hospital in critical condition. they don't think he's going to make it. >> who is bob? >> your assistant for two years! >> oh my god, i can't believe i'm going to have to get my own lunch from now on. >> greg: what do you make of this realization the democrats are looking into the mirror and seeing that they're judgmental, shrill, noce nose ny neighbors? >> -- nosey neighbors? >> people use the democrats as judgmental or preachy. according to politico documents or you could just ask anybody. like a lot of this was, like, polling for no reason to discover, hey, stop doing what you're doing. >> greg: turn on cnn. you don't need polling. that's all they do is preach and tell you that you suck.

especially specifically jamie lithow. we can do a whole hour on you. >> it would be like -- sometimes polling is such a waste of time. >> greg: unless you're a polster. >> unless kelly is polling. i miswhat had you said, guys. -- i missed what you said, guys. some of the questions are like, would you rather have fried chicken or to be punched? stuff we would all answer the same. >> greg: i don't know about that. kat -- i -- is this a product of the evolution of -- i hate to use confusing wokism but wokism forces to you intrude yourself on people's lives and tells them how to live. natural there'd be blow back. >> absolutely. you're a piece of [bleep], vote for me. that's not a winning strategy. >> greg: yes! >> i wouldn't care that much if it wasn't that the government was so big and powerful but actually they're not just thinking these things, they're trying legislate these things it shouldn't matter if they're

jerks or not but they're trying to legislate it to mold culture. we should be able to create our own culture and that should be our business we don't have to hang out with people we don't like or eat with people we don't like but they're too powerful. >> greg: that's a very important point, tyrus. >> well done, kat. >> greg: not so much we disagree with them, it's that whatever they believe, they want to enforce. >> right. with no wisdom or actual fact to back up it. it's just -- you alienate the police, you alienate moms and dads and alienate truckers and you alienate working-class americans. and that leaves you with -- >> i see what you did. >> yeah. that's what you're going to get at the ballot from america. >> all of him needs to be, you know, rocking the democratic party. the problem for biden is the center that they created for him. you have more independents aligning themselves with the republican party. originally you were going to take masks off everyone

including kids in schools. that was going to happen. we all knew it. they're insisting you still have masks on kids. they're not even -- trump gave them three approved vaccines. all they needed to do was have a marketing campaign. and they've not developed another one. you have jen psaki arguing that crime is not real. philadelphia had 500 homicides last year or they didn't. look at what is happening across this country. moms and pops and moms and dads in san francisco, the school board just kicked out three people -- >> greg: we're doing that next block. >> you're doing that? it shows you it's not just a poll here and a poll there, although some people's polls are really excellent. it's that people are voting in a certain way because now you. [indiscernible] >> greg: ha-ha. >> and loving it apparently. >> greg: yes, yes!

>> biden hasn't done anything right. he and harris, their personal attributes, nobody thinks they care about them, compassion, inspire people to leave the country. i think biden's problems are now the democratic problems. >> greg: the masks thing is purely reactionary. it's because the other side -- it's so funny. you have republicans that for decades seemed as puritanical. now the there's a loose, edgy gp and you have the democrats -- take it off, baby! >> take it off, baby. >> greg: the democrats burned cars and draft cards. now republicans are burning masks. this is a fair trade. >> not all polls are the same. >> i'm more familiar with stripper poles. so different. >> pole dancing. >> you're right. >> great cardio workout. >> sometimes you read things

where all the answers seem like they're going to be so obvious. no offense. those are really good polls. >> no offense to your life's work. >> greg: all right, you didn't dig a deeper hole there. >> comedians aren't always funny. >> that's true. 100%. >> 100%. totally. >> greg: they taught the school board a lesson next. 2a's monitoring his money with a simple text. like what you see abe? yes! 2b's covered with zero overdraft fees when he overdraws his account by fifty bucks or less. and 2c, well, she's not going to let a lost card get her stressed. am i right? that's right. that's because these neighbors all have chase. alerts that help check. tools that help protect. one bank that puts you in control. chase. make more of what's yours. up at 2:00am again? tonight, try pure zzzs all night. unlike other sleep aids, our extended release melatonin helps you sleep longer.

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>> greg: before the school board's woke folly, they were rode out on a trolley. yep, parents give a school board the old san francisco treat and send the radicals down in defeat. liberal parents in san francisco destroyed the school board voting overwhelmingly to recall three democratic school board members this week who have to turn in their security badge, but they could keep their poster of chairman mal. moms and dad has it with the trio's woke policies and progressive agendas during the

pandemic like choosing to rename schools like abraham lincoln high and pretending to teach kids online. the dimwits bragged about keeping covid rates low by keeping schools closed forever proving they're as dumb with masks as they are with history. they were especially done with one board member, allison collins, who once tweeted asians americans used white supremacist thinking to get ahead. that offended both asians and actual white supremacists who are confident in their ability to discriminate. even democrats in maskless dance enthusiast mayor london breed supported the recall saying "the voters of the city delivered a clear message the school board must focus on the essentials of delivering a well-run school system above all else." is in the start of a revote against new policies for schools -- revolt against new policies for schools? we go to.

[indiscernible] for comment... that's a sneeze big the way, not a fart. tyrus, you're a parent. is this a watershed moment, the start of something big perhaps? >> it's a tidal wave moment. parents talk. they get on their little facebook and communities. you spit in the face of moms and dads, they're going to be the ones who are putting the signs in the yard and they're going to stand in line in the rain with their ids for eight hours to vote and the little mayor is like, "i get behind them." you're next! too late. there's a reason why everyone is jumping out and retiring. it's not just that they're going to get beat, they're going to get pummeled. they spit in the face of the one group that doesn't tolerate that. you don't mess with somebody's kids. you don't mess with somebody's freedoms or mess with somebody's job! that's what the democrats did. and you can say, well, republicans did, it, too. but you claim to represent that. now you're going to reap what

you sow. ♪ give it to you, what you gonna do with it ♪♪ like the old rap song. the republicans need to take it from here. >> greg: kellyanne, the woke could intimidate singles because they don't have a lot to lose. it's like, well, we'll do whatever we want. >> then they get home and argue with themselves about whether they're woke. >> greg: once you have kids, that's a line you can't -- the woke can't intimidate parents. >> the momma bear growls fiercely when you mess with the kids. this all started with screen time is school time which is an oxymoron. look, many parents did say march to june of 2020, ok, we got it. we don't know what is going on. it's a pandemic. people are sick and dying and we'll keep the kids home. then everybody had a great summer. then the school year happened and then they said, sorry. it's back on the computer. that's number one. critical race theory is real. moms and dads are listening to

what these kids are taught in san francisco -- i want to remind your viewers -- they took away test scores. they took away merit-based education and said we'll have a lottery instead. you can't do that and expect parents to be ok with it. and then i think what is happening is people know that when you drop your kids off in the morning, there's a limited amount of time to teach them the basics. reading and writing and arithmetic is what we call it. some days, that doesn't get taught much at all. republicans should harness this. i got to tell you, i'm 100% pro-life. i understand why people are pro-choice. i'm for the second amendment. i understand when there's a school shooting people say do something, do something. i've never -- in 30-something years of doing this -- i never heard a compelling reason why democrats are against school choice, charter schools and opportunity. 60 years, greg, after you had the racist southern democratic governors standing in the school house door not letting kids of color in, you're have democrats not letting them out. the republicans should get right on that and say we're the party for educational freedom and opportunity and the kids shouldn't be constricted by

their zip code or where they live. they all deserve a quality education. the things like this are symptoms and not a cause. republicans should really grab onto that and go. >> greg: kat aren't we learning the school system is evil? >> the allison collins lady, that's not even her only horrible take. >> greg: no! she's bad! >> kids are coming out saying kids are having learning loss. she did a school board meeting saying, "we need to not call it learning loss but instead call it learning changes." instead of being concerned about it, she was concerned about rebranding it. i thought i didn't care about other people's kids and then i see this lady and she's on the school board? >> greg: at least place yourself in positions that affect children. god bless you for that. >> thank you. i am the real hero. >> so smart. you're slow smart. >> yeah. yeah. yeah. learning changes and that there's less of it. >> greg: yes. yes. you know you're on a learning

diet. i won't a learning diet. that's what happened. jamie, you have seven kids? >> i have three children. >> greg: three children. >> you might know better than me, though, i don't keep track. it's funny when you have three kids, people will go like, do you have a favorite kid? which i never got until i had three. normally i would never say anything but i will just tell you guys it's my neighbor's kid. the kid is adorable. they're so well-behaved. >> they go home! >> greg: some don't. >> dude, i think wokeness at its best is like such a waste of time. like, there's also -- it's just like you could -- they could be doing real stuff and all of these real problems we have with our kids -- i only once sent an e-mail to the school and it was last week because i was so pissed on what they did with my kids. i don't do stuff like that it really brings out -- like you said -- with the claws. how about make a rule. don't name your school after a person! they tried to change the names of 44 schools. you just can't change -- you can't call your school a person's name because you don't know if they'll end up being a

terrible person. just stay away from it, because, like, i can't think of one time i was able to learn my. [indiscernible] varsity jacket. >> greg: you went through a bunch of name changes there at your school. >> i did. i did. i did. >> greg: who would have thought? >> i had the zodiac killer high. it was ok. >> greg: it was ok. you came up with a good point there about the time wasting and the opportunity costs. you don't demo what could have been -- you don't know what could have been done in the space taken up by that effort. >> just like distance learning. >> greg: you could have prevented measuredfer instead you weren't talking -- murder if instead you weren't talking about, i don't know, the covid rhetoric causes crime. there are opportunity costs to everything. coming up, living in fear forever sounds souper to these campus party poopers. -- super to these campus party poopers. including the iphone 13 pro with 5g.

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>> greg: this school known as the wolf pack formed a group to get their masks back. yeah, students in the university of nevada of reno -- they have them there, tyrus -- staged a walk throughout week in protest of their -- walkout this week in protest of their state's removal of the mask mandate. some 50 very well-adjusted students marched on campus to demand their school keep masks in place even though nevada ended their mandate on february 10th. you sound like the kind of students who remind a teacher he promised a quiz today. the governor said they got rid of the mandate because covid cases plummeted yet an online petition reinstate the requirements has been signed by over 2,000 people who have either made covid fear their religion or just have really gross teeth. meanwhile a dad who tried to speak without a mask at a suburban chicago board meeting got an earful from a board

member who had none of it. >> i need to you put on your mask. >> i can't articulate with my mask on i have a medical -- you're not going to honor medical exemptions. >> no. >> i have a mask. i can wear the mask on my head if you want. >> you can wear the mask on your [bleep] balls. get out of here. get him [bleep] out of the room if he can't put his [bleep] mask on! >> greg: wear your mask on your balls. here i thought i was the only one. finally, coachella, the popular outdoor music festival -- not my third cousin -- announced it's returning this year with zero covid restrictions no tests. no proof of vax. no mask, no fred durst. event organizers say if you're in a high-risk category like being poor or unattractive, then maybe consider not going. instead, go to one of jamie lissow's shows where you never have to worry about social distancing. aw, now i feel bad, kat.

you laughed at that joke. you're disgusting. apologize to jamie. what's wrong with kids these days? >> those kids are desperate to feel important or stupid or both because they're wearing the masks outside! and they're outside marching! there may somebody masks in some situations may be beneficial. outside. you wear a condom to the bar, too, buddy? what is wrong with you? >> greg: wait, what's wrong with that? some of us like to be prepared. you never know it takes a while to put it on. >> you're not that much different. you don't need to wear a mask walking around outside. there's no reason for it other than you want to -- like -- i don't -- there's no reason for it. >> greg: it's a big time [bleep] when you're putting on a condom that all things could fall apart. >> they can wear a mask if they want to. they don't have to get a mandate back in there. i just worry what happens when something very difficult and unexpected in life happens to them. >> greg: i know! >> that's what i worry about.

>> greg: young people. do you know anyone -- >> that's really hard. you'll be rejected, won't get that seat in college, job, promotion or relationship and you need to cope with it maskless! >> that's the best point. they're not saying you can't wear your mask -- just put it on! >> it's like someone told you tonight, we don't have a dress code and you put on. [indiscernible] [laughter] >> i told you not to mess with that woman. >> greg: ha-ha! >> or her kids! >> i don't think i even did anything. i think i got framed in a way that maybe -- >> greg: i just like i don't have to insult you today. kelly, i'm taking your time. .>> i like you're funny. >> this story is to dumb i misread the headline. >> you thought they didn't want the masks, right? >> i thought they were leaving because of the masks. >> same. same. >> i even looked at the video to see if anyone was wearing cloth masks. a lot of them weren't wearing n95's. let's read a book -- let's

really do this. you know what i mean? >> greg: yes! yes! yes! it's sad. what's wrong, tyrus? >> i had a friend named [bleep] in high school and i was mad he had a date and i didn't and i told him he had to wear it before because you have to be ready and you don't want to be able to not put it on. he wore it the whole time. he ended up he told her he had it on. she slapped him and she wasn't his girlfriend anymore. if he took that advice, god knows what happened. >> greg: he blew up a condom and killed 800 people. >> shame on all of you for picking on these kids! i told you before, they're just so smart. >> learning changes in past year. >> i looked into it. none of the kids study science. most were the wrong side of history majors.

>> that is true! hey, you got to. >> you're in the green. stay there. >> greg: all right, up next f your partner makes a racket in bed, would you sleep solo instead? r hands or feet? try nervivenerve relief from the world's #1 selling nerve care company. nervive contains alpha lipoic acid to relieve occasional nerve aches, weakness and discomfort. try nervivenerve relief.

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>> greg: if you're a noisy sleeper, are you still a keeper? if your partner has apnea, how long will you put up with their crapnea? how long will it take to say no more to a spouse who continues to snore? apparently, 90 minutes -- god, these rhymes are getting tiresome -- according to the new one-poll survey, the average person puts up with the snoring partner for an hour and a half before either kicking them out or leaving themselves. that's how i broke up with taylor smith. 65% of people who do sleep with their partner every night, 66% of them said they would rather sleep separately, perhaps in separate beds, rooms or countries no mansion if they wanted someone else. 2 in 5 americans ended relationships over their partner's sleeping habits. some wanted to end their partner's life. white machine noise machines are expensive.

kellyanne? >> i think -- >> greg: do you even need to mention anything? >> i actually don't sleep with a pillow. what percentage of the country does that? call the mr. pillow guy. my grandmother claire, god bless her soul, was the only other person that doesn't sleep with a pillow. you can imagine the snoring. >> thank you for taking one for the team. >> greg: technology, baby. >> here is the thing. you always know how much love you have in your relationship when things like -- when they snore, you stare at them and be

like, i could just kill them. that's not the snoring. >> you wonder how it doesn't wake them up? >> because they're selfish. the only thing about themselves, they take up the whole bed. no one makes a noise like that. it's not fair. i know some things i've heard once or twice. >> greg: should we reclassify snoring as hate speech? >> maybe. i don't snore anymore because i got the nose surgery but i still have the problem of i kick a little bit and can't fall asleep unless i'm watching a documentary about murder. >> greg: i have that same problem! a documentary of me committing a murder. jamie, last word for you. >> i do snore a little bit but i swear i don't know if it's that -- i don't know. the girls i'm with maybe are getting paid to be there. i do find snoring soup err knowing and distracting -- super annoying and distracting.

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>> greg: we're out of time. thanks to kellyanne con way jamie lissow, cat timpf and -- kat timpf and tyrus. i'm greg gutfeld. i love you, america. >> shannon: welcome to "fox news @ night." i'm shannon bream in washington. breaking tonight, more plunging poll numbers for president biden. inflation topping the list of the urgency of issues facing americans right now. democrats push a gas tax holiday that could worsen the gas crisis. biden administration wants to use your tax dollars to add another $30 billion in coronavirus response aid