the usa, and probably the height of my professional career at that moment, the happiest best pan i ever had and lifeguarding on society. but i would also go to 1986, from the red sox, though you mba. >> laura: look it up if you don't know what he just referred to. greg gutfeld. ♪ ♪ >> greg: what did they say about me tonight? i will take that. very, very true. all right, all right, all right, happy thursday everyone. what a glorious evening we have in store because it is time for... >> greg gutfeld industrial hygiene in conjunction with self assembling elves presents...

how to be a journalist with your host brad pitt. so let's start with the story that you were not hearing much about as it evolves a group that media loves, black lives matter. one of the activist because brown was charged and attempted assassination of jewish democrat mayoral candidate craig greenberg in louisville, kentucky. i know, you're thinking the same thing i did when i first read it, jewish people live in kentucky? [laughter] the suspect just like cnn and msnbc and advocate for socialist and communist ideal and size gun loving with a louisville paper. yes he's a member of the press. either that or become a college professor. here is the pro-gun-control shooter on joy reid's show, roll the tape. >> honestly, now it is hard, but where i come from, i feel less safe in my community. so i love how it emphasizes, this is not a school safety issue, this is a gun violence

issue because it affects schools, communities, churches, clubs. so at school it is hard because it is like a war zone. humans need common sense government. get rid of the power rifles. >> greg: to use my key is for gun control, jester is not his. it is easy to shoot politicians without getting shot. so journalists would wonder if the rhetoric and humanization of whites, led to this violence? someone may be like joy reid? >> in america, there is a thing about white vigilantism and white peers, particularly male white peers. white peers in general because they care. as soon as they get caught, bring water works. white men get away but that too and it has the same facts. >> greg: it is scary. now, i'm not going to say, the music bothers me. it makes me feel like i'm in a

war movie kind of thing. i'm not going to say that her racist words incited violence against whites, but i'm not going to not say it. surely, it doesn't help when you target her abuse. but the las vegas sun reports and blames the whites with violent right-wing politicians like donald trump was enough motivation for the shooting. "we have all heard this with their own ears" we have? trump the adjusting violence against opponents, g.o.p. lawmakers and candidates trying to whip their followers into a frenzy with taking arms against so-called forms of tyranny like masked men. i've got to say for a publication called the son, the people who write for it aren't that right. yeah, you're welcome. and claimed we heard all of this with their own ears, not us, buddy what we hear is millions of people laughing at you for your idiocy. but at least "the son" didn't

blame it on the shooter's car. meanwhile, where's the shooter? he's not in jail, the bail fund post a $100,000 bond for him. the party of red flag law bailed out deranged man who tried to shoot a politician. it is kind of likes or hands or hand failed, they are giving him another shot. don't you dare blame kamala harris, the person she bailed out is accused of murder in minnesota which brings up another question. why do we know who's money failed and why aren't enterprising journal using hacked data to find out responsible who is suffering and attempted murder? because maybe they are hacked themselves. what they did to the truckers don't make truckers in canada, took names and numbers from half list of donation and started calling people who gave as little as $40 to the convoy. like geraldo's hot tub commit is as gross as it is unsurprising. [laughter] i love that picture. and the only shooting that these

so-called terrorist in canada have done is that there gold and street hockey. the timeliness of the amazon packages. no wonder everyone hates the press including our own parents. they couldn't look into the president's son dealings since they lied about being hacked. if a coffee shop owner donates civil disobedience, the outrage mob is sick on them. the government takes away their bank accounts. the more damage, the protest. and short journalist who despised the blue color class pain at the target on people who supported a nonviolent protest simply because they saw them as uneducated groups, and cajun gnomic and educated groups that we rely on everyday. this is warfare with educated self -- taking out aggressions on everyone who meets him. everyone with attempted murder of jewish mayoral candidate appear that crime doesn't fit the narrative so let it slide. these are weird times, so we are that i find myself agreeing for

once with ilhan omar who defended those who were later harassed by reporters after donating to the freedom convoy. be careful, it will haunt your patriotism is starting to show. after "the washington post" hunted down the people, omar said this "i failed to see why any journalists felt the need to report on shop owner making insignificant donation rather than to get them harassed. it is impossible and journalists need to do better." amen, sister, that is her husband/brother would say. it is not often i find myself in staunch agreement with a radical communist, but that is what the journalist clap does to you. it unites all of us against them. it's gotten so bad i'm going bowling with the squad this saturday night. [laughter] >> let us welcome tonight's guest. >> he's got the longest resume and the shortest name. fox business correspondent susan

li. [applause] >> and to enter the battle and take them clubbing. afterwards, most of rob smith problematic rob smith. [applause] you got a big yay there. like a dart board which gnomic board, sharp and pointy. kat tempf. and we will always see eye to eye as long as the virus, my massive sidekick and nwa world television champion, tyrus. [applause] susan always a pleasure to see you. >> yeah. >> i want to ask about the business element of this. this is really creepy that like, there is people who give $40 to like some donation, something they see on tv and all of a sudden, reporters are calling them question what that is

really, really gross. >> i will say the good thing come about the trucker protest in canada we play street hockey and with all the truckers on the street, that means no cars come through so a continuous game of street gnomic street hockey in canada. spill and that is the silver lining. >> that is the silver lining in all of this. back to the blm shooting in louisville, i did some research. >> greg: good for you. rico i prefer to talk about the victim and to give him more coverage than say the actual perpetrator. but if you look at his platform for mayor? it's very democratic. >> greg: he's very left-wing. >> green spending, racial justice, and still get shot. >> he got shot at here at, this is the difference between murder. >> quickly. >> greg: the difference between attempted murder and murder, the suspect has to be back at it. >> that is what blows my mind. just make sure you get a lower

sentence because you are in competent killer look, it is like an assassin gets a second chance if he is bad. >> but $100,000 bill, don't you think? wouldn't that money be spent better on other things? wouldn't you say? >> greg: like me for example. anything would be better. we too. rob? >> look dumb it seems and i'm really glad that the shooter was such a bad shot, but i mean he was doing all of the stuff with gun control and he wasn't taking shooting class. obviously a bad shot. what i love about being a democrat, it really does mean you never have to say you are sorry or owned up to anything and if it does happen, it is the republicans fault. it reminds me of that meme where like democrats left the shoots democrat and then they look at the camera and say, why did you do this donald trump? one of those things, no responsibility. >> greg: they actually had -- i think what happened wrote the

editorial before anything happened and that their assumptions. then all of a sudden, oh, wow. they have to change the editorial appeared and pretended in the opening, they said at the bottom, it has been updated. no, you actually change the entire focus because you were found out by some people that actually read it. >> that is how fake news works. if somebody was reading this op-ed and didn't know the facts of the case, they would say it is crazy white gnomic right-wing. >> had did they think the shooter would feel? he would be really upset. >> greg: exactly. >> the culmination of life's work aiding republicans. and then this whole editorial that he did it for donald trump because he loves trump so much. >> it is like cultural appropriation. how dare you blame it on right-wingers. that mind gig is kind of like what they call larry elder a white supremacist here at the white supremacists are like no, no, we don't let blacks into our

group. how dare you. how dare you, tyrus? pretty open. >> clear about that. >> confusion. me? oh! what did i wait in line for? >> greg: exactly, exactly. what do you make of this whole story? >> you know, greg, your monologue always come i have to disagree with you. >> greg: he always does this. first, he butters me up. >> i learned to wade through the waters of fox news a complement and an insult goes a long way, especially with your little ego. i have to butter you up. you get caught up and greg, it is true i'm brilliant and can throw the insult an end it won't be edited out. you have to be on the payroll to talk to a guy like that. >> greg: it's true. >> you give him a complement first, complement sandwich. >> you can do anything. >> greg: is this what you talk about when i'm not around? >> again we talk about

everything. [laughter] we went you have a problem with my monologue. >> because you give them too much credit. it wasn't a mistake. he didn't jump the gun here the whole point of it is about no accountability. >> greg: right. the young brother who gave talking points and he kept repeating himself because they take young minds like that. he is responsible for his actions, but they feed him the hate and convince him come i've been there. when i was coming up with malcom x until you research what the issues were and he hears that and he hears that, but they never think about his character. everybody praised him. he was told. you build these young minds full of hate and then when they unleash, you will not take responsibility. you will not say, hey we didn't see the signs. yeah, it is the right to commit their fault. it's about they don't believe in accountability. it fits the narrative. >> tyrus, that when you were

coming up your father made you extra mad. because you all are always -- >> they did this to malcolm x this, and fat and weight, we killed him? what? no. and i want to make one more point and this is a little bit serious. a lot of people don't talk about there is the strain of hard-core anti-semitism among the black far left over and over again. and i think this is an example of that. the fact that this politician was jewish is not something that was not relevant. >> greg: you see that in the relationship to how the hard left looks at israel. it kind of comes out of there a lot. >> look what happened to karen johnson, whoopi goldberg. it all comes out. >> greg: up next are democrats to woke for the folks? ♪ ♪

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♪ ♪ >> greg: democrats push policies that are poisonous and then wonder, how come no one is joining us? that is a rhyme. it is true, going woke could leave the party broke. so they are running out of tricks when back voters they treat like hicks. check out this headline from today "the brand is so toxic near extinction in rural u.s." it is weird hearing extinction especially pelosi survived 4 out of 5 ice ages. preserved in glass like a grasshopper. but it makes sense when your brand is more toxic than a margarita and the dems have not spoken out against parties ideas that are so left they make karl

marx moved to florida. the dwindling numbers of democrats in rule areas. that is three times i've had to say rural, considering 2008 barack obama 875 counties nationwide. in 2020 biden won 527 pure the majority of those losses 260 of them took place in rural counties. imagine if i was tom brokaw. it will take a lot of flight to the middle of the night to change that number. of course, the g.o.p. gained house seats in 2020 despite losing the white house. they flipped the virginia governor ship last year and party officials with challenges in ohio with wisconsin, georgia, north carolina with senate majority november and white house in 2,024th. that is a prospect that has dems sweating like under biden after a paternity test. meanwhile over on morning joe the nbc show not the sex act but a woke problem.

>> the democrats have to stay away from this. san francisco tell us what is going on and you have three scored members voted out by 70%. of course, they were focusing on changing the names of schools. this is not with the voters care about come if you give the republicans ability to point the democrats as to super woke culture focused on the wrong things that don't matter to voters and don't matter putting food on the table, don't matter to kids going to school, don't matter higher wages, you are going to lose. you need to step away from super wokeness. >> greg: rural comest rural come up they get up but only when it affects them politicall. but they will lose if they keep it up. i wonder what joe has to say. look, look i can give advice to my fellow democrats. you have no one to hold them, know when to fold them and went to walk away, went to run into the basement and sometimes come i talk too much and they just

pick me up by the elbows and they bring me down into the basement and they say, joe we will not talk for a couple of days. and it is great and works out. they give me a straw in it. and sometimes, too many words. and i like the insurer, chocolate insurer. it is like not too sweet and it taste like ice cream but it's cold. >> greg: he is right about that, kat tempf, one thing he nails. they are one of our sponsors. >> are they? >> i don't know, i don't know. this is how the woke stir is that mike has polluted the bran. wherever they go, that happens but is it too late? >> the thing is they went really extreme. so i don't know how you back away from for example, the state must raise your children without your input and if you disagree

you are a terrorists pier there is no backing away from that quietly. this is true in a lot of situations, but some things you say you can't unsay. >> greg: i have learned that the hard way a few times. and i feel they are learning that the hard way as well. >> greg: tyrus, i think the woke we are working on the fact they can intimidate a lot of white people. it is like by saying that you are calm racist, calm racist and that will work. but now children got into the equation, it wasn't working anymore. >> yeah, that will kick white people's ass thing doesn't work. a very clever group and it's like snow at night. so kudos to you guys. [laughter] i believe we invented camouflage. >> to cold man, just sleep. no, they overplayed their hand. when you run on first world

problems and follow social media and you assume in the twitter world and instagram world and celebrities because they look -- well they have 3 million followers so they will have 3 million votes and we have all the celebrities and all those millions of followers, we will get everything we want. we can have gum drops and fake problems and we can have all these little things that don't really matter. the problem is nobody bothered to tell them that is not the real world. >> greg: right. >> greg: most of americans don't spend their evening on twitter or worship celebrities. so they overplayed the first world problem and i thought it would stick. they found out that's not how it is. they can't go back because that's who they are. >> greg: that is the interesting thing. how do the woke modify something that part of it is dna and cannot be modified, right? it's like there is no forgiveness peer there is no compromise in the woke. you have to agree with me or you

are out of the club. you can't modify that. >> look, the thing about it is the crazy train has left the station. there is no amount of crazy that the left doesn't want that is cuckoo for okc alexandria ocasio cortez club. they are crazy. what a lip about this is the republican narrative that he was talking about. the republicans, they tell people what democrats are actually saving. those villains, those villain republicans. >> greg: that was the narrative use defunding the police came out. it wasn't like, hey, the democrats were not saying defunding the place is bad. they said if you keep saying that, the republicans will tell on you. >> you are saying the part i love. actually, some of these people's opinions like i'm a black white supremacist. or asian white supremacist and you think certainly about education, it is all gone

completely crazy. they have lost the platform in this old school democrat scarborough and james carville, they are trying to pull these people back and come up but i think the train has left the station. and the crazy is here to stay. >> greg: people are saying what happened in the school board in san francisco, that was the bellwether. i'm not sure what that means. maybe you can be a linchpin. >> well -- >> greg: i'm thinking of another bird. >> bellwether was good. >> greg: bellwether was good? >> i would change the word linchpin or bellwether? >> wow, those are two good words. >> but they are not as good as before. >> greg: rural. >> how many rs? >> greg: i don't know. >> i had a question, oh, what do you see? >> very good, very specific.

what i want to bring up is may be pushing with a minority support for the democrats. because some of my friends who live in silicon valley, they are livid about the san francisco education board. you are using, their kids education as a political platform for your political ambition. >> greg: exactly. >> by the way these are minority families that have been able to get opportunity and see chances because they are able to get a great education. so the fact they are using this. >> greg: getting rid of standardized test would piss them off and work so damn hard. but it's based off of social media. we block you. literally the woke political system is based off media. >> greg: allegory. >> and they are losing minority voters and i lost a platform

doesn't society.com. but what we are trying to do is educate young african-americans and progressives, et cetera about exactly what sort of values are and how badly the democrats are failing us. so they are losing us. >> greg: that is necessary and i call that deprogramming. this country needs a bit of the programming. just like the coal in the 70s. don't ask me how i know. but i didn't always have this head of hair. up next. the qb who is facing outrage for watching a woman fall off stage. this is my favorite story. ♪ ♪

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leaving a woman who fell on her ass. we win emmys for that. qb matt stafford for doing nothing as a sports photographer fell backwards off stage right in front of his own two eyes. he has a passer and not a receiver. it had been during the rams super bowl victory and no idea they had won. we have not seen a face plant since kat won margarita night. the photographer named kelly smiley ironically getting ready to take a picture of stafford and his wife her soon-to-be ex-wife when she lost her footing and fell off stage. literally the guy did nothing but take a swig of water. i need to be hydrated. and leave his wife to deal with ms appeared to be fair he was up on a high stage and she was down below attending to her. meanwhile instagram wearing a back brace and thank everyone

for reaching out. a friend of hers set up go for me face to get smiley back up on her feet. as long as she has peaceful protesters, of course. matthew stafford who watch smiley go down is now stepping up. he and the rams issued a joint statement saying they are covering her hospital bills replacing her cameras. good on him i say because if anybody knows what it's like to play bottom, it is a quarterback that played 12 years for detroit. a little football joke, tyrus emma there is a thing when somebody does something and you can't look at them the same way. and i think of the seinfeld episode. >> costanza runs out and ran over the children and pushed everybody out of the way and saved himself. unfortunately matt did not save himself. i know what he did. when she fell, he didn't think it was that big of a deal and laugh and drink water. he thought he was being funny and clever. unfortunately, his wife is a

saint. that makes the optics even worse as he walks away. drinking a bottle of water makes him look smug. >> greg: exactly. >> the worst things happens that she got hurt. if everybody would've got up and she was laughing, it would have been fine. but then in a joint statement, he got a call from gm and saying "you better save this." goodbye endorsement deal those are gone and people will look at you differently. it is a bad, bad look on his character. i hate it because i went to school in nebraska and when people fell on the eyes, i would turn my head like dang, laughing because for whatever reason people falling make me laugh. i can't control it. i don't want it to happen. and i never asked to pick them up because i'm laughing at them. >> greg: you know, i think he will lose the allstate endorsement. you are in good hands. the one thing and i have to say this, you don't need a bottle of

water everywhere. you are not like going across the sahara desert, right? you are an adult. we have water fountains in this building. we have used it during the show. >> without permission. >> greg: people don't need to have water all the time. some woman falls, oh, better have a drink. >> first of all, i'm sorry, it is hot in california. he wants to hydrate. that is the best thing he did in that situation. >> i like how his complete lack of character ran to get some water. >> greg: what is the problem? it is part of the problem. >> i didn't think it was that bad until i watched it over again. now, you ever heard that saying character is -- what is it, character is who you are when nobody is watching. he didn't think there were cameras on him and that is who he really is.

you know, it sucks, despicable, but at least she has not severely injured and hospital bill is taken care of care of. at least she will get more work out of this. i think it was $45,000 the last time i checked? >> greg: unless it is frozen. it look like somebody pushed a button for a trapdoor. like i'm looking around, a button and when i was a kid, susan, i wanted a trapdoor to watch people fall in it. i don't know why but i have some therapy after that. i was kept in a small basement for most of my childhood life. and so i wanted to pay that back to complete strangers. >> wow! >> greg: what about that endorsement? we win let's not discuss what i just said. >> okay, we can't. a lot of confessing. >> greg: i loved being trapped. >> leave it in capable hands.

leave her to the emergency situation. >> greg: you take care of this, you are sober, i'm wasted. that is a good excuse, speeds fit to lick kat. i can't wait to hear. >> i think that he should have said he was wasted. because that makes him -- it is good he paid for the whole thing because he made a mistake. sometimes we make mistakes. >> greg: should he be branded forever with this mistake? hey, look at this, nfl stars, champs. >> no commit is a mistake that he didn't care about people. not a mistake, for example cohost and asked dingley deleted your monologue 40 at 5:00 p.m. >> we got it back. >> there is water. >> i pressed the wrong button and my heart dropped to my.

>> i would have drink water and walked away. >> >> greg: how did they get it back? >> a lot of hard work. so i will buy everybody pizza. and buying everybody pizza like he paid for the gofundme. [laughter] >> greg: awesome. i'm glad -- boy, that would have been a bad scene for you. >> i thought about -- i have to start a new life. >> you will have to come to florida with me. >> i need a new identity. >> greg: all right, we've got a move on. coming up, will a man, a woman, why not to fake being with child? could be a man. ♪ ♪ a few reasons to slow down. ♪ ♪ but we've got one more.

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station to get a paid vacation. georgia state employee, aren't they all got busted for being pregnant to get paid maternity leave. according to "the new york post" owned by parent company a1 steak sauce robin fulsome with a baby bump and fake emails to baby daddy that she needed rest at home. this game fell apart after a full stomach and noticed photos of the baby to come. although different skin tones, but it was mostly the full stomach that did it for me. it reminds me of a halloween when i dressed up as brian stelter. yeah, that was cheap. the best pressed by investigators about fraudulent maternity leave, double down on the lights after records indicated she was never pregnant. she claimed to get birth before but no record of that happening. she resigned from her job and charged with identity fraud making false statements and coworkers to sit through

annoying baby shower. that is the real crime, rob hear the great part about this, rob, men can do this and get pregnant and they can also fake pregnancy. >> according to the left, men can get pregnant as soon as bringing on fox news i will do this to get my maternity leave. a look at this picture and is it me or animal prints like the one sign of crazy? if these women are wearing animal prints, my favorite part. >> that is so funny. >> but that different races that they be photos. when baby is black, when baby is asian, when baby is white. different coworkers, wait a minute, this doesn't add up. >> "we talk about like it's total crime for a reason. you have to continue to live that life. don't forget -- just what else are you doing to make sure the babies have the skin color? you were not working.

>> none of my children have the same skin color. she literally stole pictures of my babies. i have a little infant. >> ten years, people will be asking. >> oh. >> keeping track of your lives is the hardest part. since you work -- i love stories like this. >> i don't have a job yet. >> no, you are so smart about business. why is it everybody always knows an employee in their past who goes out of their way not to do work. and if they actually did work, it would be easier for them. >> but is so much work. why aware a fake stomach, fake picture and fake baby daddy for three months? she could actually be -- i don't know, working for the government. >> it sounds like her job is not

that hard, tyrus. >> i was going to say about time here there should be more women arrested for a fake pregnancy. [laughter] we need to stop that because nothing stops you at the door. wait, i'm pregnant. [laughter] >> greg: you know what, that is an amazing point. at home pregnancy test. >> yes, that play on. oh, man. >> greg: save millions of heartaches. >> rund athlete critics across the country. >> greg: when do they get the dnase stuff started? >> with the people sell fake positive pregnancy test. >> we looked it up and going live with heterosexual segment. >> you don't have that issue. when someone says they are late, they are talking about dinner. [laughter] pretty much, pretty much. >> greg: yeah. [laughter] >> can't stop that when. >> you can't. >> greg: a good show so far.

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spray went out stronger immunity and the lust of your community? can you date whomever you please if you are not right with the zs? better looking people also have better immune systems according to a new study published in the academic journal proceedings of the royal society b. i guess royal society a had better things to do with their time. [laughter] participants had photos and blood taken for the study, which coincidentally is the same thing i ask of my uber drivers. researchers asked volunteers to rate and attractiveness of photos and people with stronger immune system scored higher in hotness. finally, a reason not to have sex with ugly people. sudden -- which is named after my favorite season, who led the study -- that is the name of the person who led the study and definitely was made fun of over

her name in grade school they are rights that people who keenly find attributes like clear skin and bright eyes, attractive, where to seek out healthy mates. but she adds, infections are not as deadly as they used to be so perhaps it is okay if people lower their standards and start to give people less attractive a shot. wow, summer manglecock is looking for a little action. i hope she is as cute as her name. anyway, it got us thinking, what if you put healthy blood into an unattractive person? we sent joe devito to find out. >> dr. kumar you sure this transfusion will make me a more attractive person? >> in fact, we should be almost finished. >> okay, you should be good to go. >> awesome. >> can you do anything about my boys? >> what is wrong with your

voice? [laughter] >> greg: kat, the women in the study was not allowed to wear arm make up. >> they would have said that is a cute little boy. [laughter] but also come i don't buy this because for years and years come i was only attracted to very sickly looking people. >> greg: that is true. i saw your ex-boyfriend. >> sunken eyes, pale, skinny, give me your number homeless. maybe that was just my brain's body telling me that i was not ready to commit. >> greg: we were stuck in the pete davidson phase. susan -- >> are you inspired to give less attractive people a shot? >> not pete davidson. but look, i don't get it. >> clearly, they were something else we can talk about off-camera. [laughter] >> greg: may be summer manglecock can tell us. i'm going to say her name every

day instead of rural. >> it is beauty in the eyes of the beholder. >> greg: g come i've never heard that before. >> less guys with dry skin and chapped lips. >> i've been waiting for something that i'm an expert in and not to speak up someone extremely attractive but i can say with my own personal life, i know that we have immune system. it is like germs see me coming and go to ugly people around me. [laughter] so people that are more attractive, i would think these people working out more, healthy, physically and all that other stuff in that stuff makes your immune system strength. >> greg: it is the cart or the horse or the chicken or the egg. tyrus, you said i hate the study. >> this is not a study. this is stupid and probably done by a makeup company for lipstick or whatever. in this case, i will go with religion. [laughter]

and is manglecock a nickname? >> greg: that was the name. >> it is a family name. [laughter] >> a family name. these studies are stupid because one community what is attractive is ugly and the other one, if someone is into monsters, i'm cute. if you are not, i'm hideous. you know what i'm saying? same day, 7-year-old lady i'm on the bucket list. 30-year-old they become avoids me like the plague. you know what i'm saying? i'm hot and one group but not so much the other. my immune system is [bleep] phenomenal. [laughter] >> greg: anyway, i think that is a really good point. everybody, everybody has somebody out there, right? because that is not true. >> there is a live for every pot. >> greg: yes, there was a lid for every pot. there are some guys that it is really into pot. [laughter] >> wait, did tyrus say you were into 70-year-old women come is that what i heard? >> they are into me.

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