now is the time when things have shifted. there is going to be a new world order out there. >> you can catch me weekdays on "the five" go to cameo.com/judge jeanine or watch me on fox. thanks for watching. >> live in ukraine. seeing some of the most intense street battles since the invasion of ukraine began. it comes one day after ukraine rejected a russian offer to surrender this strategic port city or face "severe consequences," and most of it now sits in ruins, and at least 2300 people have died.

they are asking diplomats to evacuate for describing the horror -- >> what i saw i hope no one will see, and it cannot be justified by my conscience what's happening in ukraine. i say it with sadness. what's happening is a tragedy for the russian and ukrainian people. it will be difficult to heal. >> russian forces occupying this city, open fire on peaceful protesters, according to authorities who said they also used stun grenades. the ukrainian president praising them for their courage to confront the russian troops. >> i call new cranes to defend their country come everywhere we are, in order to save our nation. combat, fight, drive out these

occupiers to make ukraine and all is live freely and peacefully. >> the human -- nearly 3.4 million people have fled ukraine, most to neighboring poland. that's where president biden will go friday, following talks of nato and european allies in brussels. back to "gutfeld!." >> greg: good evening. i'm geraldo rivera. [laughter] not treating the war like every other story: entertainment. here, we make the news entertaining, perhaps better than any show that came before it, largely due to me. competition on cnn -- fun as crabs, not the ones delicious with -- now, we run headfirst into daily atrocity, and i don't mean facing this on the cat in the hallway. ukraine is lord, and ugly, with

grim imagery and relentless horror stories. the news has a standard narrative. going off the track, god help you. other issues demand the same solemn treatment: ices, pandemic deaf calls, a kamala harris space. what more than passage of time? >> vice president harris: the passage of time. when he was think about it, there is significance to the passage of time, and such great significance to the passage of time. [laughter] >> greg: she is truly a national treasure, if i treasure you mean embarrassment. bad news becomes relentless. i get your tweets so i understand, but the news dictates the mood. it's like mass shootings. we repeat the same 90 seconds of information, because it's all we have. it's not the recorder's fault:

it's the unpredictability of the editorial loop. city, shooter, dad, repeat, and then the media turns into its circle of self-reflection. that's where i come in, that's my job. i figure the news is 30 minutes total, the same time it takes jimmy failla to steal a jacket from a homeless tramp [laughter] cable news never closes, and without bozos like me there would be silence. when i was a kid, news was 30 minutes in the morning, we cap at lunch, 30 during dinner unless something big happened, like the kennedy assassination, the landing, or marcia brady going braless -- who could forget that? [laughter] we would shovel snow you new york donkey around.

cnn change that. we have the same quantity of news, but have to add a hamburger helper to feed a family of 300,000,008 cnn showed it was possible and how it could destroy a country. play the george floyd video two times lower per month and you could undermine the fabric of a country more then forward disinformation. why look for good news when you can bid watch old movies of the worst moments of your life? one news story becomes a potato, where you can figure out so many ways to prepare, fried, but usually half-baked. first, he reported, but then how it affects the economy, climate, the disadvantaged, the children, the economic climate for disadvantaged children -- unless under biden. then, turn it back on the media, my specialty. as the media reports the story, what are they saying, other than its terms fault and you are racist, sexist, and homophobic -- mark we are so

high on the small of our own farts, baked beans are an aphrodisiac. that's disgusting. [laughter] poor charlie. in war, we get serious as it gets ugly, we drop the huge segments, come in with breaking news graphics. now, nearly a month of this nightly come agreement routine: bomb strikes, rebel, refugees, the dead, rinse and repeat. we can't do much else, because none of us have real insight, except for brian kilmeade, and that's only because his male pattern baldness is in the shape of belarus. [laughter] sometimes, in my job, i run across stories that seem too on the nose, so we use stories like reportedly, like a racist who finds a race is not under her seat, and after being beaten up by trump supporter's and i, or -- losing his laptop. that story turned out legit, which is why they tried to suffocate it like rosie o'donnell sitting on a

chihuahua. [laughter] there are others out of ukraine: the jet buyer and russian jets, sailors refusing to surrender. the only thing really know if -- war is bad, and the longer it goes, the worse it gets. sadly, it makes a great many series, the greatest show on earth if you are lucky to live here and binge watch it like netflix. the most important, it provides is the dash of bad tv news: when it bleeds, it leads. that makes me wonder where it leading me. i hope, some place else of the day on world war iii. [applause] tonight's guest, the only time this press secretary stretched the truth was claiming to be 5 feet tall. [laughter] "america's newsroom," "the five," and with a new book

coming out, dana perino. his hair is denise nightmare, no escaping his luscious locks his hair is houdini's nightmare: no escaping his hairs luscious locks, charlie hurt. he's got the perfect wardrobe for radio, fox across america host jimmy failla! like a piece of ikea furniture, barely holding it together. [laughter] fox news contributor kat timpf! i'm so excited. i have dana, dressed in honor of a circus peanuts. charles, your tie is reminiscent of red gum. >> charlie: you know what happens when your mother gives you a tie? you wear it. >> greg: to me, you remind me of a black-and-white television we had. [laughter] you are rupert pumpkin. >> jimmy: i like you with

black-and-white facial hair. >> greg: i couldn't shower because i didn't have hot water. i stink and haven't shaved. how about that? >> dana: why don't you check into a hotel? >> greg: why don't you mind your own business? [laughter] charlie, i have not talked to you in ages, you are doing god knows what. how do you think the media is doing covering the war? >> charlie: fascinating monologue. >> greg: thank you. >> charlie: it began with the gulf war one cnn showed us the first war on television. you could sit there -- i remember i was in college at the time watching for literally -- >> greg: me too. >> charlie: -- 48-50 hours of the time. "get under the desk." we couldn't believe what an experience it was. then, fast-forward whatever it is, 30 years to where we are today, and it's become almost

less real in a lot of ways, even though we have a lot more ability to present the truth and present what's going on. it's been corrupted in a lot of ways. it's become almost a hollywood version of it all, and you wind up with things like french president emmanuel macron dressing up like volodymyr zelensky for deck selection, because -- the characters have become movie stars almost. >> greg: i forgot about that, yes, everybody is fulfilling a role: the villain, the hero, supporting players. >> charlie: i'm not sure it's good for the truth, and most of all, not for people who are suffering and dying. i don't know that we are doing a great job of -- you want to applaud the heroism of the ukrainians, but people are dying, and it's a horrifying assault that they are enduring.

you've got to figure out where you celebrate the heroism without exacerbating something atomic without ignoring something that's horrible. >> greg: when i sit down with "the five" with the latest topic, i have no idea what is going to say. the more i read, the less i know. i don't know who to believe, and i don't know who is winning. sometimes, they say ukraine is winning, and i say "it's already over: they lost." i don't know how to deal with it. >> dana: part of it is you go back to the gulf war, 1981, one of the things that's different from then to now, even from when i was press a curtain even when i was press secretary to now, 2008 -- they are more people who are able to provide images, and it's not from cnn. it's from people they are experiencing it. from to me, that's the most believable thing. they have the phone, are filming

it, they put it out there on their feed. what's interesting is how elon musk has provided this ability, so the internet continues to stay up. we've never seen that before either. they did use social media in order to terrorize, but this is different where you have victims recording what's happening. >> greg: isis was the worse. beheadings. jimmy, i wish you a beheading somewhere. [laughter] that's a terrible joke. i hate what i just said. >> jimmy: i was claiming response about it for that bomb. [laughter] >> greg: well done, my friend. what you think so far? >> jimmy: your facial hair, you look like the singer of lead boyfriend called "in middle school." i love you, you know i do.

i'm concerned for everyone in ukraine. i don't want people to think i'm being cavalier. the only place to see certain things when i grew up was to go and do them. if you wanted to see someone fight a stripper, you have to show up, get past the bouncer, and punch a stripper. [laughter] now you type it into google and it says "did you mean a brunette or blonde stripper?" we have too many options. it's more about demonstrating empathy than having it. >> greg: what do you think? >> kat: about the stripper thing? [laughter] >> greg: that was an odd example. >> kat: it was very specific. >> jimmy: i wanted to get off floor! >> kat: a lot of detail.

>> charlie: biographical. >> greg: about his hole. [laughter] >> jimmy: no. >> kat: saying these things, as you mentioned, every single day nonstop, it can create a emotional response. it's supposed to if you are not a sociopath, but it comes to your emotions and the impact they can have on decision-making or certain actions. you have to be careful about making decisions from an emotional perspective in any case, especially when talking about something as serious as war, and potentially world war iii. >> greg: very good point. speak a rational person. >> kat: thank you. >> the other thing about this is we just come off of five years of a psychotic episode in the media, where we seem in petal propaganda -- >> greg: i think that's affected me. i can't trust anything. >> i don't trust anybody! >> greg: i don't know if i'm ever going to get back to that. maybe that's a good thing.

you almost made up for your tie. [laughter] a notion that reeks of desperation. lower your standards to counter inflation. >> what a rhyme! hey, you two. check out all these camera views in my silverado i can see in front of me, behind me, on either side of me. and it has this cam, so i can see if there's any funny business going on. you see any funny business going on? no, sir. let's have a great day! the chevy silverado offers eight cameras with up to 15 different views. find new views. find new roads. chevrolet. it's my 4:05, the-show-must-go-on, migraine medicine. it's ubrelvy. for anytime, anywhere, migraine strikes. without worrying if it's too late or where i am. one dose can quickly stop my migraine in its tracks within 2 hours. unlike older medicines ubrelvy is a pill that directly blocks cgrp protein, believed to be a cause of migraine. do not take with strong cyp3a4 inhibitors. most common side effects were nausea and tiredness.

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- i had an important job and it wasn't just a job, it was keeping my brothers and sisters safe. and coming back, it felt like, kind of thrown away.

it's like, you're useless, you know? "we don't really have a need you now because you can't really do anything for us." that's the way i felt. if it hadn't have been for wounded warrior project, i honestly don't know if i would be here. it was the comradery that i saw it was like, i got my family back again because we all had some sort of injury or illness that we didn't have to talk about but we all felt the connection, like, that brother and sisterhood.

>> greg: if you can't live like a rockefeller, at least eat beans and kill old yeller. [laughter] bloomberg, the news agency not the hobbit, tweeted and an opinion piece titled "inflation stings most if you are in less than hundred thousand dollars a year, how to deal." among the suggestions: take the bus, do not buy in bulk, trying lentils instead of meat. that explain how buses run on natural gas. the article written by a

professor of economics, you might want to rethink those costly pet medical needs. it may sound harsh, but researchers don't recommend -- which can cost up to $10,000! yet to come dogs this so 2020. way to combine michael vick with jack kevorkian. [laughter] already crapping on this article, those making under $300,000 is almost everyone in the country, broke losers apparently! it generates the question: who is behind this lobbying for lintels? is there a lentil lobby? [laughter] >> you know lintels as the go-to super food and -- it has a wide variety of food. lentils are great for spicing up a date, for pressing clients at

the office. now, you are cooking with gas, and they help you relax after a long day. lentils are the perfect companion for live television interviews. >> the president used taxpayer dollars to help them cheat and election. >> paid for by the committee to reelect derek's wallop. [fart noises] [laughter] >> dana: one thing i was thinking, they are trying to tell people to save money, but not just baked bean, toast, and be in lentils. they had to be fancy. on the dog thing, it's a personal decision, medicine has advanced. also, the next article is probably about how americans are suffering from loneliness and need more companionship, which is provided by an animal. >> as you said early --

>> greg: please buy and electric car that costs $80,000, but don't spend $10,000 on chemo for your pet. "i would and poor, so i will buy the car." you cannot spell -- without youu and me. [laughter] i just came up with that! >> kat: i guess, for who you are mark who wants that? [laughter] it's true. >> greg: it's a typical media liberal response. it's not a solution. it's a coping mechanism. they won't make these changes, but you should. speak to the tweet that said "nobody said >> kat: the tweet that said "nobody said it's going to be fun." your dog died! i will never let my cat died no matter how much she wants to. three chronic illnesses for year and a half.

i keep telling him, i will flip him on a bed until later. [laughter] whatever it takes, he is not dying. i won't allow it. someone said it's not a good visa money and i said "you are not, get out." >> greg: could you imagine the brainstorming meeting when they are coming up with this? "take a bus." >> jimmy: it's amazing that they greet with this quickly, because nobody reads bloomberg anyway. [laughter] was the last time you saw some at a bus stop like "have you see that bloomberg article?" [laughter] that doesn't really happen! you know what i mean? never! i find it fascinating, the pet, when the qualified -- if you are one of the americans who recently adopted a pet during the pandemic -- if you adopted a pet and it already has cancer, get your money back.

shows how out of touch they are -- this person is an economist. >> greg: has to be the worst economist! >> i know you struggle -- most nights it shows -- [laughter] -- there's been a struggle within the democratic party, not enough time between now and the midterms, so they will tell us it's working. that's the new thing! "kamala is going on the road to tout their successes." >> greg: so far, we got rid of five dogs with cancer. [laughter] really good, charlie. >> charlie: i don't know if they will take your advice. my biggest problem with her

advice was the part about "don't buy in bulk." that's the one thing you want to do! in this economy, literally buying toilet paper in bulk is going to hold its value more than the u.s. dollar. >> greg: lagoons. >> dana: you can buy lentils in bulk. >> charlie: i buy them one at a time. [laughter] literally, this is the problem! the situation where you have -- it's right here is the ideal of the green new deal. this is what they want you to live through, utopia according to aoc and joe biden, who got hijacked by them. >> it's everything they said about gasoline, oil, whatever, fracking, and is now being applied to every other part of your life, that you should be living without this, and that's because it was good for her

including taking her chamfers. >> and we want everyone to smell as bad as you do. >> greg: that was uncalled for. [laughter] i smell mainly. up next, they framed the story is a russian text, has the reputation one open smoke, like hunter's crack. see what i did? didn't see that coming, did you? that didn't rhyme and then it did. [laughter] as a struggling actor, i need all the breaks that i can get. at liberty butchemel... cut. liberty mu... line?

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>> this is a fox news alert. some of the most intense street battles since the invasion began with ukraine. it comes one day after ukraine rejected a russian offer to surrender this strategic port city or face "severe consequences." most of it sits in ruins, and it

leaves 2300 people there to die. the russian forces occupying the city or opening fire on peaceful protesters. able to use some grenades to break up the road. the u.n. -- 3.4 million people have fled the ukraine, most to neighboring poland, where president biden will go on friday. >> greg: the covered up the probe, the crackhead in a motel robe. the intelligence community tried to lie with impunity. we are owned by our parent company mary kay. [laughter] of the spies who live in. 51 intelligence experts still refused to apologize. the hunter biden laptop story, and russian disinformation without any evidence put this story broke in 2020, and they are being called on it. they are responsive as a crowd after a -- punch line.

meanwhile, republicans -- i don't know why that's there -- are demanding a new probe to delve deep into hunter, the laptop, and possible big tech cover up. of needing a probe, didn't mention the laptop on his show yesterday. he said the story was hard to swallow, which is funny coming from a guy who can make an entire breakfast buffet disappears. >> there is: "the new york post" announcing biden's secret email. cnn reported that if those emails are connected to -- russian disinformation. efforts. overall, these could be made up. you should check it out. we are not talking about fully reliable sources.

>> greg: if only cnn had newsrooms that verified stories! is from four -- at scene and then he does at burger king. my god! [laughter] what is happening, jimmy? speefour leave my search history out of this. [laughter] we are living in shame. people do not experience shame anymore. the fact that they are willing to go on tv and pretend this never happened -- 50% of biden voters would change the root if they had this. you are talking about millions of votes in an election decided by thousands of votes, which is absurd. we kind of expected this, do we

not? it's so bad. one jen psaki -- she really got me. jen psaki says "hunter biden doesn't work in the government" she didn't when she tweeted about the scandal, saying it was garbage. where was that policy then? i have empathy for hunter. if my laptop gets lost, i don't call overboard -- we break even. it's not even about the sex and drugs: it's about the lies. in the green room, kat, you were saying all 50 of them should be executed, little harsh. after mack [laughter] >> kat: i never thought it was that persuasive, this letter. letters in one expert missing: hunter biden.

[laughter] everybody -- he said nothing! for weeks. if it were me and someone doctored photos of me naked smoking crack with and i didn't do that, i might say something. >> i would want to find the real killer. >> at least o.j. -- -- there is a video of hunter saying "he's talking with russian drug dealers." >> charlie: nobody in the immediate did not know about those emails. everyone knew they were real! and come of these former spies, saying that the emails were real, and so did the fbi. only people who didn't know that they were all real or the american people who were going to the polls and two weeks.

they were the only people kept in the dark. >> greg: i'm going to sound like the dude from cnn. this is worse than watergate. what charlie just said is all these people knew it was real and lied. >> looking at "the new york post" cover, they have the pictures -- they wanted their names in the paper. they put their names on this letter. when "the new york post" and times called and say "what about now that it's been proven?" they say no comment or don't return a call. they should never be quoted again. anybody who is a reporter should people should think of these people as operatives. under democratic administration -- there's a qualifier there that was not exacerbated at the time. >> greg: excellent use of

"exacerbated," a word that's underused in our vocabulary. on that, we shall take a break. when it comes to counting who's who, americans don't have a clue. see what i did?

(children giggling) hey, i was, uh, thinking about going back to school to get my masters. i just saw something that said you could do it in a year for, like, $11k. hmm. barista: order eleven! yeah, see you at 11. 1111 masters boulevard, please. gonna be eleven even, buddy. really? the clues are all around us! some things are too obvious

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and make today the most wonderful time of the year. claritin d. >> greg: do the freaks in the press make it impossible to guess? yes, it's the medias priority to make us underestimate the size of minority -- groups that is. guess to -- like my clothes at one of bill hemmer's hot tub parties, our guesses were all. [laughter] people thought nearly one-third of the country was gay. theactual number, 80%! [laughter] just couldn't come 3%. perhaps some of the nonbinary people got it wrong. participants -- guest 30% of the

country was jewish, but it's closer to 2%. african americans estimated at 41%, compared to 12%. i have not seen this many exaggerations since january 6th. >> [laughs] nice one, greg. >> greg: thank you, that's god. people thought 30% of all u.s. citizens lived in new york city. democrats' wish, and the other third lived in texas. a lot of there from new york. did these people decide that 30% was the right number for everything? well, it is. a tip -- when i have them work on my back. [laughter] how did this survive? >> that's a lot of candies. how many can you get in there, 4-5? no more than 7.

>> could you pass me a box of tissues? >> do you want me to rent a freckles? that's probably 90 pounds! >> i will do it. >> 2 to check out she hulk. >> watch out for traffic. >> those cars are like 500 yards away, i've got plenty of time. [car crash] [laughter] >> greg: r.i.p. kat, this is true in so many places. there are fewer tennis players that merit an interest in will bolt and -- >> kat: i don't think about tennis. >> greg: you prove my point. [laughter] did you notice this trend? >> kat: i was shocked by the numbers. didn't realize that only 3% of the population is gay. i think it is 30%. >> greg: of your front spirit speech of 90% of my friends are,

so >> kat: 90% of my friends are, so 30% is right. >> greg: it has consequences. people have a distorted sense of police brutality. democrats thought that the number of unarmed black men killed by police numbered in the thousands. >> turns out it was less than 100. >> greg: two dozen, including white and black victims. >> dana: i was reading and thinking "this is how i explained it to my husband when i buy these things -- a 40% discount or 4% discount, oh, didn't realize that." this is a big problem for people trying to estimate what we should do in terms of inflation. what's the policy prescription? the answer is buy an electric vehicle, but that costs $80,000. it doesn't make sense! >> greg: kill your pet. charlie, but this be what's

propping up identity politics? if you had the real information, identity politics would collapse. >> charlie: that's the propaganda game going on. it's true, americans are bad at math. for myself, i cannot balance the checkbook. the silver lining is americans are bad at demographics. that's not the way they look at one another. they look at one another is doing the same thing. we don't look at people based on demographics. the only people that do are the media, and they can't stop. one thing makes me wonder about some of the numbers. they said 88% of americans own a car, but only 83% have a driver's license, so 5% of people own a car but don't have a driver's license. >> i was that person for a while. >> going rogue.

>> maybe they weren't sleeping in the car. >> that makes no sense. [laughter] >> may be, they own a car, but they'd drive it like beto when he lost his license? >> then why are they being honest about it? >> we are going down a tangent. [laughter] >> i want to ask, does your wife overestimate how much you don't look almost? look homeless [laughter] >> i think i'm running a liberace tribute band. i don't know if homeless is fair. the estimates are high the end result of identity politics -- everybody wants to act but they are living an inclusive life. surrounded by gay, black, transgender people everywhere i

go, and you want to sound diverse -- >> greg: of course it is! >> it's amazing to think that transgender people are only 0.6 of the population, and somehow have 30% of gold medals in swimming. that's impressive. [laughter] >> greg: that's a great joke. i can't use that tomorrow. >> sure you can. >> greg: some groups -- this day and age, we are playing it. i think the number might be lower, but you can't no, because you have gender fluid. it's influencing that, so authentically, the person who goes through the surgery is probably smaller but inflated. >> no matter what it is, if you claim to be a member of the marginalized community, that is now like "give me something." the only one i don't buy is 4% bisexuality. [laughter] spewing up next, when it comes to kanye, the grammies say no

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>> greg: the grammies began yeezy because his antics made them queasy. he was banned from performing, not from receiving awards, because of concerning online

behavior. sleep doubled in viewer. get it? [laughter] 's instruments out back account he had his instagram account suspended for 24 hours after directing a racial slur at trevor noah, who was -- pete davidson is best known for being the new boyfriend of kim kardashian, former boyfriend of her opponents. you could say connie is being a pain in the butt, but with one as big as kim's, that could be fatal. how do you think kanye has been handling this? >> jimmy: this is what i think is funny. connie, let's not act like he's been the picture of discipline that awards shows. he interrupted taylor swift on stage, which is why i think the unproductive equality is why they should invite him.

this idea that saying mouthy things on social media is out of line for a guy whose wife is sleeping with a new guy, show me the guy that's going to be okay about that. >> greg: flaunting it all over the place, i thought this thing was fake, the whole pete davidson -- it felt so theatrical, but maybe, they are truly in love. he got her printed on this. >> charlie: i am not a rap expert, but i like kanye. but -- exactly. have them attention? you don't have to pay that atten that closely realize that this is not new. the idea of him using a racial slur against trevor noah -- the internet will not tell you what he said. i don't know what he said. my goodness. have you listened to his music? "she ain't no gold digger."

that's not without racial slurs. the idea that suddenly he's using racial slurs and should be kicked out of the grammies is insane. >> greg: i'm against all racial slurs, unlike charlie. [laughter] i wanted to ruin you. >> charlie: if the hornets going to spend as much time talking about it, they have to tell you what he said. don't know he said. >> greg: this is true, coming from a racist. >> dana: she was flaunting at all of her, but is not the point? this has been going on for a couple of decades. they made a ton of money. i find it hard to believe that kim's new relationship with pete davidson is real. i don't understand it. i can understand why connie is frustrated. i do have to say, if i were having to go to an award show and was told "are you dominic --

you are no longer invited," i would be happy. >> aren't one of them famous because one of them made a sex tape question marks big let's ask jimmy's laptop. [laughter] >> that was fantastic. it's not like everyone there has a security guard detail. what's going on? >> kanye, he's got to stop. >> that's a hot take. [laughter] >> he does ask mike he's really just got to leave her alone. anna navarro on "to view" so -- will break to think that is what was going to happen. >> you are aware that they passed the brain around at

"the view" [laughter] >> if only they were this concerned about keeping andrew cuomo away from our grammies. >> nicely done. >> greg: we will be right back, except for him. back, except for him. [laughter] you can't prevent what's going on outside, that's why qulipta™ helps what's going on inside. qulipta™ is a pill. gets right to work to prevent migraine attacks and keeps them away over time. qulipta™ blocks cgrp a protein believed to be a cause of migraine attacks. qulipta™ is a preventive treatment for episodic migraine. most common side effects are nausea, constipation, and tiredness. learn how abbvie can help you save on qulipta™. ♪ it wasn't me by shaggy ♪ you're never responsible consti for unauthorizedness. purchases on your discover card.

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lavender baths calmed him. so we made a plan to turn bath time into a business. ♪ ♪ find a northwestern mutual advisor at nm.com >> greg: we are out of time. "fox news @ night" with evil shannon bream is next. i'm greg gutfeld, and i love you, america. ♪ ♪ >> shannon: hello and welcome to "fox news @ night." i am shannon bream in washington. breaking tonight: air raid sirens going off overnight in lviv as russia's war on ukraine enters its 27th day on this tuesday morning. artillery blasts. people in ukraine's capital are ten hours into a new 35 hour curfew. ukraine still refusing to surrender to the