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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  April 15, 2022 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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the darkest moments god never abandons these people. the darkness did not overwhelm it. that's all for us tonight. have a wonderful passover. greg gutfeld was next >> i love her too. oh, show! it's friday. another means. kat is in the green room and using -- mirror, but it's also time for -- countdown! >> greg: good work there. where to start? how is cnn plus doing?
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[explosion] not good. what do you expect? it's based on the premise that people like cnn would spend money on. cnn. came home to find his ketchup crispy and cream, and codeine on -- reliable sources. these days, this is something you've heard about it, rather than loading the executive chef at bennigan's. i got a hernia by trying to pick up beth. this has the vibe of a prison yard locked down after a three day race riot. my money is on genie most will shimmy next. >> remember her?
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>> no. >> how could you expect diehards to come to cnn plus when they don't have any -- die-sauce? [laughter] viewers had time for, watching cnn. that's pretty smart. this editor john nicosia engines that -- between dumb talent and producers are higher than stu eating doritos on the top of the dispensary. for a walk -- we will need names -- and that's because no one is watching. cnn paid out millions and returned to getting under 10,000 people. i did the math, and it depressed me. town got paid per year, i'd be living in a large mansion. it's a media platform with under 10,000 people. we know it gets more than 10,000
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people? two channels on knitting. 100 times what cnn plus is getting. you two channels on proper -- and it's just videos of people flossing. they cannot get enough of it. if the dog took a crap and it was posted on youtube, it would do better, almost -- was the network. [laughter] sadly, cnn staffers are open for the layoff and budget cuts, which sounds like a big opportunity for this! while he is waiting on twitter, he should scoop up cnn the dog deterred that it is and turn into something useful like jiffy lube or buffalo wild wings. think about that. what if cnn was a news channel? what would they do with these other recent hires? one is a race baiter and the
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other tricks cnn into thinking he doesn't just deal videos on twitter. i guess they would go to headline news where the rest of the town goes to die. can't bear to lose them. he's giving me nonstop contents. he's been my moose -- i mean muse. his latest f up, invited professors -- fox viewers were paid cash to watch cnn for seven hours a week. see and then they'll have to pay people to watch their bad tv. see none is your only choice when he lost the remote, but a funny thing happened in this segment, and it wasn't -- taking a bite of the calzone he had under his coat. this professor was invited on to discuss that study, and -- with bash fox.
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because we call that coverage filtering. your proven what would sense for a while. the fox and cnn for different issues. fox news predominately covers issues that makes them look bad. during this time, we find the abraham sign. they artie signed a major peace agreement. it is really a major accomplishment. those networks are engaging in this filtering. >> i think you are engaging in both sides of that. [laughter] >> greg: [repeats]
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outlook, pillsbury. [laughter] this context, something that cnn is desperately allergic to. that's why they are thinking. they don't think there's more than one side to their fabricated tail. they might call you a racist. the reason they fear elon musk is the same -- because we threaten their bubble. i've got to admit, it's kind of fun to watch. it's like the feeling you got as a kid walking down like watching wicked witch. remember this golden moment? >> cnn in particular, magically all going in one direction. is there something else behind this? >> time for lunch. [laughter] >> that's about the most honest thing he's ever said. >> at a certain point, you cannot rely on food as your
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escape, as you make a saw to a cake. >> please welcome to my fists! she will spend her weekend decorating it and throwing at her kids: the fox news anchor julie banderas! this country and drive home a point and a car. the host of candy dominic ""on fox business michael kennedy! she will use the weekend searching for her phone and possibly her dignity. fox news contributor kat timpf! and finally, magicians can pull a rabbit out of a hack but he could pull a magician out of a rabbit while wearing a hat. [laughter] n.w.a., television! tyrus! plus back to the person who asked who rode that, that was a group effort. we were getting started with a
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rabbit out of a hat, and then, they sent something. >> god. [laughter] makes no sense at all, but that's why it stuck. >> that cnn debacle, or debacle '. [laughter] imagine movement with free wine, terrible, but then, you go to the liquor store, i am that terrible wine is for sale. why would you buy the terrible wine that you got for free? is that not what cnn plus is? it's the terrible wine you can get for free! >> i would care for. i take free booze any day. i can pare cnn plus and overall ratings to alcoholism. i know a little bit about it. [laughter] when you build to aa, which is for quitters.
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[laughter] you have to hit rock bottom, correct? the reason is, and i believe this is -- the viewing audience are leaning more moderate. they found so far left. they definitely need to go back to the middle. that's their new ceo. he will supposedly be taking this in that direction, drinking. [laughter] >> greg: i will be -- [laughter] >> what about? what did you mean? >> don't ask. do not ask. [laughter] he is setting you up to ask. don't ask. [laughter] >> i almost got her. candidate, was a pleasure to see you. what about us pulling our money together to buy cnn? what would you do with it? >> i love to spend your money on anything. i think that would be great. when austin started like "this is a network point about them? like women are running and it
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will be about women, intellectual china program in? [laughter] and then, failed -- , putting out what people want to see. bring back maury povich! break back typed on like pregnancy tests, boot camp routines. he is not your dad. all that stuff. [laughter] >> of god. they've only got one person left that i like. why isn't he over here? you ask a good question! they have a problem with the hiring situation. >> yes. >> we are all really wonderful, likable. more people you want to sit next to. >> before you take pictures of me and harassed me the entire flight. [laughter] >> that's true. >> i've seen pictures of you on the plane. speak at least not with the mask
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on. [laughter] >> he was passed out. >> may be. >> this show is not about me. well, it is. [laughter] >> i think a lot of former fox employees that made the jump because it was a time when gentle way because the other side, the grass was greener, they were winning, on the right side of things and we were the evil guys, and fox news is like your wife, not exciting anymore, you do everything you need to do, and occasionally can go back when she falls asleep, but not exciting stuff. [laughter] than this really attractive woman who never questions them, they can do what they want, do with their way, the agent, left the life, now they are with this new girl, getting ready for their big debut. we are seeing a lot of buyers remorse, guys who got open.
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10 pounds produced per minute? no, that's per year. [laughter] >> you were cool with it. [laughter] >> i think this is -- actually not prove their network because it would make it more like best. it would be admitting that we were good or better than they are. i think they would rather just fail. >> 10,000 is bad. i have thousands of people tune in. pretended it was me eating soup didn't have a producer, except i had people in the table being like "what are you doing?"
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that's what they needed to, they needed someone to say that when they launched it. everybody knew that no one was going to pay for something that people are watching when it is free. it's the least shocking thing ever, but still, 10,000, that's real bad. >> 10-year-old could open an online lemonade stand and it would get more customers. >> metaverse paid good >> next going to great pains to get forget -- there were obviously rain! ♪ ♪ a landscaper. a hunter. because you didn't settle for ordinary. same goes for your equipment. versatile, powerful, durable kubota equipment. more goes into it. so you get more out of it.
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>> they smeared our border horses, but when it comes to apologies, hold your horses. it's true that border agents have been cleared, but then i'm sorry? no where near question.
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they were cleared of so-called wrongdoing after being placed on probation and investigated. the media went bonkers. >> board of regents running after people on horseback. but they are saying is disgusting. >> the border patrol on horses. >> it's horrible, and i frankly don't want to see those videos again. >> that image is tough to look at. >> the el paso times reported that -- the wheeling of this. >> shocking!
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he hears with the presence and it's outrageous. i promise you: those people will pay! >> and they did. , maybe it's time joe and the media pay too. the media and joe would say "we blew it." let's look at this critical follow-up. >> a bunch of [bleep]. [laughter] >> major programs on abc, cnn, cbs, they all missed it. if you and the horse you rode in on. had their lives ruined. barely coherent persistent. imagine if you like michael i've got messed up through no fault of your own. [phone number ringing.
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>> you told hr i was stealing the news from her desk! >> you filed a harassment complaint against me for refusing to look at naked pictures! >> you said i was eating the baby at my desk! it was a burrito! >> you guys ruined my life! >> a gift certificate to blockbuster! >> that is 3,000 miles away. >> i thought it was a great idea. [laughter] >> kennedy!
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[laughter] >> so smart. what kills me about this as this is the only time the networks covered the border. "kids in cages!" >> worse than slavery! >> those are some phenomenal claims. >> it is your responsibility, especially if you are sitting congresswoman, to clarify what you said and stop vilifying law enforcement. where the cops? they get so mad. the same thing: the vilified police in minnesota, but the first person when crime goes up." not doing anything." they have no problem doing that, and this was their integration
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policy. "if we turn them into monsters --" the photographer said that wasn't happening at all. >> don't think anybody today has asked biden anything. he singled out an american citizen. he trumpeted nba teams, nfl teams, fake news, whatever. >> caller: a guy that nobody knows, joe biden -- he >> yes, sue joe biden, sue the president. [laughter] this is bad. he is not just whipping people, but because he is a racist and xenophobic. that's pretty extreme to say just kidding and then keep it
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quiet. i don't think joe biden remembers that he did that. >> we are looking at the media montage. i don't know if they believed themselves. >> a perfect anti-law enforcement narrative. of course they are going to whip them. it kind of work, even when the photographer is coming forward. anybody who has written or been around a horse, they were not interested in that. the language was beyond the laboratories. they've basically come to these individuals lives and put others lives in danger.
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it's now going in all over that they have these. they always want to talk about words mattering, but yet, when the media is saying that you are racist, they are trying to whip and destroy people, that has that sound effect, has affected our president, said "you will pay." i think he was asked one time. i think it was peter doocy who asked him about that, and they just rolled over the question. >> the investigation was still pending. this was clear day three. i'm just trying to wipe it away. >> by the way, we should shorten it to obo mariana. you are probably the expert in this. >> may be i am missing something, but what is the big
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deal? is that a bad thing? >> it depends on the context. >> are you talking about whips like cars? [laughter] >> yes. >> first of all, border patrol l protection agents, coming into the country with covid, thrown away by this administration. they are supposed to be protecting our lands. i have nothing against them, but it's clear to me, because i've seen it firsthand, but they are not holding this in their hands. you don't even have to be a horseback rider to know it. or, a former -- [laughter] >> up next, joe claims he taught in college, while, lowell acknowledges her need to acknowledge.ed stories of bipolar depression.
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>> biden plus vast numbers tank as they look for someone to. confusion on his empty face. >> president biden: god bless you. [applause] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ that is amazing music. terrible. that was biden wrapping up a speech yesterday north carolina, shaking hands after babbling, not reaching for ghost hands. good thing it was not able to foul a high five so he could get off the stage. there's a lot of university campuses. >> president biden: for four years, i was a full professor at the university of pennsylvania.
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>> got million dollars, thinks he should -- is definitely going to be the best. his popularity is in the gutter. a new poll gives them a 33% approval rating among all americans, still members of the younger generation. president biden has seen a 21-point decrease, among millennials, 19%, but he still scores well in the key democratic voting bloc of dead people. meanwhile, vice president, law probably on economic acknowledging that gas prices are going up. >> acknowledge that gas prices are going up. >> glad that she acknowledged it. [laughter] class on lowering expectations. jen psaki wasted no time bashing fox news. >> we have to talk about
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peter doocy. is he a stupid son of a -- [applause] or does he play one on tv? >> he works for a network that provides people with questions that, nothing personal to any individuals like peter doocy, would make anyone sound like a stupid son of the bitch. >> joe, what say you? >> people love me. jay inslee, the redhead, she is my biggest fan. i was working on -- i like what young people are doing. i'm working on my latest tiktok video. [singing]
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>> is peter doocy is stupid son son -- >> no. i think it's funny that she thinks that we are told what to say, which would be disturbing on my part particularly. >> who is riding for me? [laughter] >> tell the story, this happens to you. [laughter] >> rupert murdoch. [laughter] >> can you tell the story about the time you let that guy -- [laughter] >> exactly. [laughter] can you say you took in a stray person? no, i came up with that on my own. i think it's because she is working in an administration where so much of it involves knowing what to say.
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when you are said something you are not told to say, it's tough for her not to spend so much time on it. think she thought she was being kind of bad-ass. >> what do you make of the biden -- >> the handshake? it's like watching your favorite -- he's just getting amped up in the corner. and then, our evil producers put music to. [laughter] >> it's terrible. it just ruins our skit. >> i did. i just find it, if you are going to call somebody a stupid -- you
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have to be sure about it. someone prepared, and horrible speakers. if you are still using this word when you talk, maybe you should not talk. nothing kills a speech more. >> i'm digging that new vp "say it twice, it sounds nice. acknowledging to acknowledge. somebody was really high. that's when they are high, and there really bad ideas. >> when the guys high, but the person he's talking to his. you have to talk about if they know you are high, that is, all the time. >> discussing the passage of time.
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>> driven inflation, you will get the trouble cheated in that list or hold their view. who is jen psaki, that unethical propagandist. after peter doocy, who i'm told she is secretly obsessed with. he is one juicy-go see. [laughter] he writes them, and you can tell. hey propagandize as this, and doesn't answer. he had the legal case, especially "here she is. locating a deal with the news network. they >> potential inflation and
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a world war. >> she was saved from the biden playbook, take advantage of it. some laziness, and get yourself from there. >> what do you think? >> i am a son of a , but peter doocy is not. >> didn't biden call it that? >> the sizes of the campaign, because they don't take the question. >> it's like a -- >> no! >> "no, it was about making it about himself! they weren't calling him any names, because he was -- during the campaign, he was asking biden those questions. jen psaki's no continuing command she will go here. only helps our ratings. >> just does the job. >> and they're supposed to a
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separation? the borders are asking fellow media person. >> i believe that the correspondents association -- they should say something! the press secretary said that about one of our reporters come with the top etsy >> the top of our democracy. [laughter] >> coming up, a feminist guam, a stay-at-home mom. but my body was telling a different story. i felt all people saw were my uncontrolled movements. some mental health meds can cause tardive dyskinesia, or td, and it's unlikely to improve without treatment. ingrezza is a prescription medicine to treat adults with td movements in the face and body. it's the only treatment for td that's one pill, once-daily,
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♪ ♪ ♪ it's the most wonderful time of the year ♪ get fast relief of your worst allergy symptoms, including nasal congestion, with powerful claritin d, so you can breathe better. feel the clarity and make today the most wonderful time of the year. claritin d. >> we are in the d block. it reminds me of prison. packard drove third, stay-at-home mothers. claims stay-at-home mom create -- worse for texas men and women who are psychologically and emotionally
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worse off. prudence is the piece of paper she just wrote it on. [laughter] she tweeted her thoughts after writing an article. basically saying that this forces women out of the workforce. having a great mom crazy you made you respect it. i've had women on my panel tonight. boy were they hot! haaaaaa irie! [laughter] i don't know who to go to first, so i will go to you. that's most underrated job ever. i would like to be a stay-at-home mom. >> there's just nothing about black people here. [laughter] >> a stay-at-home black mom?
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>> everyone had to work. we live in that exterior were -- not just a stay-at-home mom, but any stay-at-home parent. a stay-at-home dad. it's a good thing. you get to be there with your kids. now we don't live in our society anymore where we can have one parent but when you can have a parent home, they can do their thing, but again, why would -- that's the most rewarding, most respected child in the world is motherhood. what, because you didn't clock in? sitting at a desk all day? that is your compliment, because you are raising responsible adults? >> you just came up with a great "shark tank" idea. it's a block connected to a bottle of vodka, julie.
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>> i did not promote that. [laughter] >> you can drink, and it will usually be -- that's the hardest thing about being a stay-at-home mom! you can't! >> a boy. first of all, i think stay at home moms are heroes during the pandemic. 10-11:00 a.m. i was home schooling children, so you can imagine that. my mom was a stay-at-home mom, and she was an amazing mom. >> your mother. >> i had always said before the pandemic that i am not a 24/7 mom but i am a great mom. i want the clock. >> the clock in/clock out mom clock. i will patent this the moment i get out of this little suit. >> what about when your kids get sick in the middle of the night?
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>> off the clock! you can't apply the job to this because you are always on the job except when you have a mom clock. "stomach >> i only could have between office hours. >> only joke between 10:00-4:00. >> beta weight >> by the way, you are going to playdates, driving kids everywhere. it's very tough. i work at night, most of the time i was a mom was during the day. kind of exhausting. it is exhausting to go to work and be home with the kids. you worked as a parent.
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>> doing everything all at once. >> k, springsteen's mom. [laughter] >> if you have a choice, ask kids which they would rather have. >> to your point, you not providing any data. all she is is an attention w.h.o. re. women do not need to be pitted against each other. >> my mom was a stay-at-home mom. they kept her in the basement. [laughter] lake oahe turned out! i'm a very successful nonsexist individual with lots of women friends. [laughter] >> you should have stopped right after. [laughter] >> i can try talking if you want.
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[laughter] i want to throw my support behind this. if i have kids, i can't use it as an excuse to not stay home with them, right? "sorry, babe. i don't want to raise a bunch of misogynists. "[laughter] >> i will go out and party. >> good to find an altruistic excuse. that's what she's doing. >> up next, a model's dad got mad because her had ♪ we coul♪ ( ♪♪ ) ♪ walking on ♪ ♪ walking on the moon ♪ ♪ some ♪ ♪ may say ♪ ♪ i'm wishing my days away ♪ ♪ no way ♪ ♪ walking on the moon ♪ it's my 3:10, no-exit-in-sight, migraine medicine.
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>> here's a story in five words because we are long time. i'm talking about this faction's are talking about her dress that she was wearing on the plane, kennedy. what do you think? >> i don't understand people who dress like they are going to a hot tub party on the plane. it's uncomfortable having your bare skin touching seats on someone who's probably had their work done. >> i love it! covid breath. [laughter] >> freezing and uncomfortable. [laughter] >> that's true.
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what should one wear? >> i think it is inappropriate. how are you going to sleep? also, she went viral in january because she had told someone on american airlines to put on the blast, but she was like "i'm going to get so much attention again." >> this is my calling. [laughter] thought this was -- i didn't know she was an influencer. i thought she was like a singer or famous person. i thought she was like -- is there famous olivia customer >> newton-john. [laughter] >> she is fully clothed. >> i thought she was famous! that's why i picked this story! >> no, no one cares about this girl. [laughter] >> there are articles about this, who cares? she is 30, not a kid. >> i didn't even know that. >> google it. [laughter] >> through instagram.
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>> i did not investigate. [laughter] >> she's always in a cheetah print bikini in front of -- >> i screwed up. >> -- with her nfl boyfriend. "oh, that's where it's from. instagram has made everybody's girlfriend's famous. >> the bad part is she said nfl boyfriend that "we have so much money." career is pretty short. you only get paid for 17 weeks out of the year, sweetheart. save a buck or two ago. >> might have a career of three years. if you are lucky. if anybody did research on where they are now, nfl, you are lucky if you own a car dealership. >> to her dad's point, i guess she wanted content with her dad on there. it was probably a lot of tapes.
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sometimes i like to people watch. influencers take a lot of takes, dancing in the airport. "film it again, film it again, film again." while mike, scorsese will knock on your door. >> they all have crazy eyes. i think we are evolving from sanity to insanity. it's the tiktok face! that's a real medical disorder. it's almost all young people. "is that what you do? you watch young people's tiktok's? should i tell my daughters? [laughter] >> i'm a journalist! and a writer! [laughter] >> screw all of you. we have more show to come. (coughing) ♪ breeze driftin' on by ♪ ♪ you know how i feel ♪ copd may have gotten you here, but you decide what's next.
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♪simply irresistible♪ ♪ ♪ ♪simply irresistible♪ applebee's irresist-a-bowls are back. now starting at $8.99. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood. >> time for one final thought. >> i will be doing premiers april 25th, the first signing for my book.
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get on facebook, i signed stuff, and you get a book. >> you get drunk, it's a good time. >> what about me customer >> you are trying to sell books not scare people. [laughter] >> we have got to go. kind of a pleasure. kennedy, great to see you. i'm greg gutfeld and i love you, america. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> hello, welcome to "fox news at night." i'm shannon bream in washington. concern for free speech in america, twitter storm after poison help to prevent elon musk from taking over the social media giant. will twitter's defense strategies work? russia's

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