tv Gutfeld FOX News May 11, 2022 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT
8:00 pm
said western fashion. here's the big reveal. >> everybody's talking about my tight pants. i got my tight pants on. everybody's looking at my tight pants. i got my tight pants, i got my tight pants on ♪ >> laura: that's what they banned. yeah, they love dennis rodman but no tight jeans. gutfeld next. ♪♪ >> greg: beautiful, beautiful. yes! yeah. all right. happy wednesday, everyone. so here's something interesting that doesn't involve abortion or war. it's a picture of me working out. [laughter]
8:01 pm
>> greg: kudos to the guy spotting. that reminds me, i hope i locked the basement. so everyone talks about how bad social media is and yet everyone uses it. it's become the modern version of smoking. yes, i've got to quit but right now i just can't. that's me. it's the same problem i have with making brian stelter fat jokes. i can't control myself. it's like brian stelter at krispy kreme. see, i didn't even know i said that. and i rarely feel better after scrolling through on line stuff and i always tell people to spend less time doing it yet there i am late at night sneaking a social media puff and like smoking it usually makes my bloop go up. now i tell myself that social media's a harmless drinking partner and i have company but i don't have to put out cheese or crackers or as msnbccalls it. cheese and white people. however how would i be as a
8:02 pm
person if i stopped even for a week? well, a new study revealed what can happen if you stop using social media. you die. i'm kidding, you don't die. in fact, quite the opposite. you live. a new study that avoids social media platforms just one week, that's the weekend plus five kat, significantly improves a person's well-being reducing both anxiety and dedepression. if there was a pill that had the same effect in one week you would take it. we used to call those quaaludes, right day began. >> dagen: yeah >> greg: but social media isn't something you can take. like the president's teeth at bedtime, it's something you have to remove. and that's harder. in this study researchers from the university of bath, which is way better than your nal state college found most social media consumers spend nine hours a week on line whether scrolling through instagram, facebook, twitter or my favorite web site
8:03 pm
mature milfs with clubbed feet. to find out what might happen when you cut back, researchers had over 150 people between the ages of 18 and 72 do just that. yeah, even 72 year old. what are they doing on line? anybody seen grammy? yeah, she's teaching people how to strain pasta through an old pair of nylons on tik tok. seen it 17 times. then they compare their normal use knowledge to a week when they were on line three minutes a day which is the same amount they spent on researching. and like jessie after his recent hair transplant disguised as a back surgery. >> tyrus: cold blooded. >> greg: the results were astonishing. after just one week without social media, there were dramatic improvements in well-being across the board. so why is this important?
8:04 pm
well, social media again, like smoking, is something we do almost without thinking. sometimes it's the first thing we do when we wake up, the last thing we do before we sleep or right after sex at a truck stop. it really has become a two pack a day habit unfiltered and clogging our brain with tar and selfies. research documents dozens of harmful effects from being on line constantly not including the potential of running into anthony weiner. but there's more to it than that. and it's something overlooked by all the researchers. it's that we humans can only focus on one thing at a time. go ahead. try to hold two thoughts in your head. i'll wait. see, it's impossible. but you already knew that. for example, one day you could be in a great mood, sun is shining, work is great, got plans for the weekend. but if you get in a tiff with a spouse it all disappears, it's gone and all you think about is that one thing. that's what social media does. it can introduce one disturbing thought that muscles everything
8:05 pm
else out and that's how it ruins your day and creates sleepless tonight. it can be a distraction like an insult from a stranger somebody you don't even know but it's all it takes. it's created aggressive stimuli that we as humans are not evolved yet to handle. our brains and young brains especially, we can't tell the difference between what's worth thinking about and what isn't worth thinking about. all you end up doing is thinking about whatever enters your mental crawl space last. not good. so maybe it's time to take a break, especially if just stopping for one week has such positive benefits. why don't we try it? i mean, what's the worst that could happen? >> you know, greg is right for once. i'm wasting time checking things on twitter and instagram and facebook and only fans and even, ughh, linked in. it's time for me to start living. ♪♪
8:06 pm
♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ [cheers and applause] >> greg: let's welcome tonight's guests! he's so sharp gillette wants to trademark him. former white house press secretary and fox news contributor ari fleischer! [cheers and applause] >> greg: she's so southern she brushes her teeth with grits fox business anchor dagen mcdowell! [cheers and applause] >> greg: she believes the grass is always greener when you sell it to college kids. fox news contributor kat timpf! [cheers and applause] >> greg: and the fire department calls him when a cat is stuck in a tree. my master side kick and the nwa
8:07 pm
world television champion tyrus! [cheers and applause] >> greg: ari, unlike the rest of us you seem to be a grownup. you have a suit. you've had real jobs. do you let certain things enter your head. i think people will often lie and say, oh, i don't take anything on line seriously. oh, i don't read my mentions. oh, i don't -- but everybody does. and then if there's one thing that gets in your head, it crowds out everything else. it pushes all the fun stuff and it's just this one thought of somebody saying ari fleischer's a big fat jerk. and you're not by the way, just hypothetical >> ari: first of all, this is a rental so i need to get through the show fast because i got to get it back in time. but having worked at the white house, you really do learn to block stuff out. i like social media. i like to look at it. but i really do have the ability
8:08 pm
to go this is nonsense, this is nonsense, this is nonsense, where's the yankees score. there are just some things that are important and other things you just know is people screaming and i have a good ability >> greg: do you have kids? >> ari: the ability to hear people screaming? yes >> greg: do you worry about them then? >> ari: my kids aren't on it >> greg: that's impossible >> kat: that's what you think >> ari: no, no >> greg: what's your kid's first name? right here >> ari: her fake name? >> greg: yeah. >> ari: no, it's just not their thing. they are on it a little bit they look at stuff but i know they're not doing what they're supposed to be doing because i check >> greg: kudos to them i just don't believe it. my parents never knew i had a stack of play boys under my mattress until one day they disappeared. didn't see my dad for a week. [laughter] >> greg: dagan do you know what
8:09 pm
i'm talking about? do you look at social media before you go to bed. is it destructive? >> dagen: no, i prefer social media to real life >> greg: really. >> dagen: yeah, reality is way overrated. i'm not exaggerating. coming to work this morning, new york city, i bump into a guy wearing a fuzzy bear mask riding a bike carrying what looked like a homemade sword. and on social media i don't run the risk of actually getting maimed and having him take my hand as a souvenir. or on social media, you know what depression is? walking outside and the bright sunlight hitting the cellulite. i want to hide for days. on social media i can filter these half century old gams. they look like they belong to a dude. >> greg: a very sexy dude, though. >> dagen: you don't have to brush your teeth on social media and also every baby's cute.
8:10 pm
every baby is adorable and we all have family and friends who have had babies that looked like danny devito and you have to laugh and ignore it and just pray that it grows out of it >> greg: you remind me i call this the dorian gray effect that if we get into the world of virtual reality, everybody is going to be awesome in virtual reality as they get bigger and fatter and grosser because they're not going anywhere. so it will be like, it's the painting that ages while -- is that normal? you know, that was just an analogy and i'm just going to shut up. that went over well. i just sit here awkwardly? >> tyrus: we are. [laughter] >> greg: don't you understand what i'm talking about? >> tyrus: we don't even know who you're talking to. i mean, it's gotten to the point where you just talk in one of our direction and one of us feels it >> kat: yeah. >> tyrus: you want to take this one >> kat: i was kind of like i'm
8:11 pm
going to wait until it becomes my problem. >> greg: so what do you think tyrus? >> tyrus: there we go. you know what? unfortunately i agree with you, social media has become a bigger monster than anyone can deal with. i can't stand it and most of the people that i know are on it are living horrible personal lives. but their social media is phenomenal. like their pictures are always smiling, they're always madly in love and they say things like four hours since i've seen my husband. oh, no, what will i do? you know, and deep down they haven't spoke in weeks in real life. so i get it you know what dagan says man, it's a great cover but i'm lucky i have two and they're connected, twitter and instagram are connected so i only have to deal with one and on mine i look at it two hours a week so i guess i'm winning. my kids i'm constantly snatching phones and ipads. they can make one out of sticks. like the genius behind getting on line and blocking like -- i hope you're right but mine's
8:12 pm
seven and i can't leave any electronics. she can take the microwave into a social media outpost. she's always on it >> greg: that's amazing. cam i notice on the reels the instagram reels the crazy face. like i'm having such a good time i'm crazy. you know what i'm talking about >> kat: yes, i do actually >> greg: they're like look at my baby, this is such a great baby >> kat: there's all different sub sets of that. like single mom but i'm still really happy face i think is what most of it is. i think i'm fine with social media. i don't know. like it wasn't around when i was like in high school and there's a lot of talk about, you know, teen-agers and instagram making them massively depressed and i'm sure that if it was around when i was in high school instagram would have made me massively depressed so it wasn't so i had to get massively depressed about other stuff, which is what i would do anyways >> greg: that's the point you can't study teen-agers because
8:13 pm
they're depressed about everything. >> tyrus: we do have to be fair about social media, it has improved some things, being a dumb ass now you be an influencer >> greg: up next bias in silicon valley and trump fans may not be his finale. cure it. with mavyret. mavyret cures all types of hep c. in only 8 weeks. the virus multiplies daily and can damage the liver over time. mavyret stops hep c and cures it. if you've had hepatitis b, it may flare up... ...and cause serious liver problems during and after treatment. tell your doctor if you've had hep b, a liver or kidney transplant, other liver problems... ...hiv, other medical conditions... ...and all your medicines. do not take mavyret with atazanavir or rifampin. report right away yellow skin, stomach pain or swelling... ...confusion, and bleeding or bruising. hep c? crush it with mavyret. conquer it. cure it. in only 8 weeks. see hep c gone with mavyret. ask your doctor about mavyret.
8:17 pm
>> greg: welcome back. he gives the bias meeting a slurp and pledges to free the airway for trampled elon musk a mildly successful businessman before i met him claimed this week how twitter's headquarters being located in the bay air is a problem for the app, not because everybody keeps sliding on the poop covered sidewalk and poking their eye out with flying syringes it's twitter needing to be much maureen handed.
8:18 pm
>> twitter needs to be much maureen handed, currently has a left by as because it's based in san francisco, needs to build trust in the rest of the united states. >> greg: musk also noted if and when he takes over twitter he would lift the ban on president trump and also buy me a castle made of dark chocolate. >> it think it was a morally bad decision, to be clear, and foolish in the extreme. a permanent ban should be extremely rare and really reserved for, for accounts that are bots or spam scam accounts. it alienated a large part of the country and did not ultimately result in donald trump not having a voice. >> greg: jack dorsey who was ceo when trump was banned agrees with musk saying he believes then and now that twitter bans shouldn't be permanent. speaking of which, the media's already worried about trump's twitter comeback. here's brian stelter opening his
8:19 pm
mouth. so, kids, feel free to throw sardines. >> will trump benefit from being able to tweet again or will it actually hurt him and i don't think any of us have any idea. >> i feel like elon musk knew that he is goes to escape to space and the rest of us earth slings will have to deal with this. that's my take. >> greg: i don't think any of us have any idea. looks like cnn's found their new slogan. finally jimmy kimmel creator of the man's show questions musk's morality. >> speaking of baby, elon musk if his deal to buy twitter goes through he will reverse the ban on our infant former president donald trump. oh, good we have the part-time d.j. who makes flame throwers and cars that park in charge of morality. the guy who names his kid roman numerals will make sure they don't do anything foolish. >> greg: says the guy who wore black face. elon beat nasa back to space and build the biggest electric car
8:20 pm
company and better to be a part-time d.j. who makes flame throwers than the host of a last place late night show. but i wouldn't know. i'm the king of late night. is that too harsh tyrus? >> tyrus: no, i loved it. >> greg: okay. good. good. if the ban is lifted, should he return tyrus? >> tyrus: i would make him wait. >> greg: yeah? >> tyrus: if i was the president and they were like you're free, i'll get around to. and then see the baiting and the seltzer and the news coverage it will be trump watch. instead whereof the covid stuff used to be there will be a clock, president trump 16 hours no movement. no movement. and do things like dot dot dot, you know, and then just sigh. and just, oh, we're still waiting for a moment. and then have him like put his favorite food recipes up for a while.
8:21 pm
just enjoy the moment and everybody jumping on board because secretly cnn will be like if he gets to twitter we're back, we're back. >> greg: that's right. >> tyrus: because that's hours of coverage. every tweet 26 panelists back on the job. [laughter] >> greg: like hollywood squares. >> tyrus: it will be christmas. yeah, everybody will be coming back, it will be like tim back on twitter guess what gutfeld, worse than water gate >> greg: yes. kat, it actually, him on twitter is better for cnn than trump. he must know that, right? >> kat: yeah, absolutely. it was weird to watch people on cnn and jimmy kimmel pretend like they would not be thrilled for trump to be back on twitter. i mean cnn plus might have survived. they would have had something to talk about. because when he was on twitter it was almost every segment was something that he tweeted and how that tweet was going to single handedly end the country
8:22 pm
as we know it. >> greg: yeah >> kat: they had it all worked out. they didn't have to do any work, where's the tweet? what are we going to say about it? over. so easy. and it didn't accomplish what they wanted it to accomplish. it wasn't like they took trump off twitter and every trump support shall was like guess i don't like that guy anymore. not how it worked out. >> greg: that one little clip from cnn encapsulated what we were always saying which is they prefer to have war, inflation, and high crime and no trump tweets, to trump tweets with no war, no inflation and low crime. because to them, just the emotional effects of his tweeting is worse than any of the falcons sequence consist of like getting stabbed, you know? >> dagen: and speaking of space, those jackie jaws are rotting in asteroids about to plunge into
8:23 pm
the sea so they want trump back. and don't think for a minute including kimmel if they bumped into elon musk at some waterway that they wouldn't be licking his boots and genuflecting and begging musk for a job, offering to like baby-sit his kids and clip his toenails in public. he's the richest man in the world. that's all they know is succeeding up. >> greg: yeah, that is true. can't be that, can you? his point is well taken about where twitter is located, right? and i think that's a problem with all of silicon valley is they believe in this idea of diversity but they all think the same. it would be like if fox moveded to in the midlands texas. it would probably change it right? >> ari: the problem with all these companies and a lot of places in new york, too, the young work force who thinks their job is not to do their job but their job is to set
8:24 pm
society's wrongs. so somebody needs to tell me in what universe could it possibly be the right thing to do to ban voices with whom you disagree. don't we all grow? aren't we all better because you heard somebody's voice that you disagreed with and you had to make an intellectual argument or a tweet against it. but there is a a group of people who say if you're not liberal and not part of my college campus community the way i was raised on a college campus you don't deserve a voice and therefore social media should shut you down. and the press has bought into this and that's the other problem we have in our society. the media loves this stuff and the media thought the american people erred when they voted for trump in 2016 and it was the press's job to reverse what the american people did so they went after donald trump. >> greg: is he running you think? >> ari: yeah. >> greg: yeah. and then when he wins are you going to be his press secretary? >> ari: no. i'd have to rent five suits. no. >> greg: all right. i think we broke --.
8:25 pm
>> tyrus: do they get the old tweets back if they reinstate him?. >> greg: that's a good --yeah. >> tyrus: because i'm sure they want to buy them because then they can just do tweets in review. it will be a whole show on cn. >> greg: you just gave them the best idea they ever had tyrus. >> ari: tweets in review the republican is in danger. >> greg: yes. worse than water gate part three. up next an actor's ideas aren't as cohesive as his protests are adhesive. bipolar depression. it made me feel trapped in a fog. this is art inspired by real stories of bipolar depression. i just couldn't find my way out of it. the lows of bipolar depression can take you to a dark place. latuda could make a real difference in your symptoms. latuda was proven to significantly reduce bipolar depression symptoms and in clinical studies,
8:26 pm
had no substantial impact on weight. this is where i want to be. call your doctor about sudden behavior changes or suicidal thoughts. antidepressants can increase these in children and young adults. elderly dementia patients have increased risk of death or stroke. report fever, confusion, stiff or uncontrollable muscle movements, which may be life threatening or permanent. these aren't all the serious side effects. now i'm back where i belong. ask your doctor if latuda is right for you. pay as little as zero dollars for your first prescription. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ introducing the all-new infiniti qx60. take on your wild world in style. ♪ we're a different kind of dentistry. take on your wild world one who believes in doing anything it takes
8:27 pm
to make dentistry work for your life. so we offer a complete exam and x-rays free to new patients without insurance - everyday. plus, patients get 20% off their treatment plan. we're on your corner and in your corner every step of the way. because your anything is our everything. aspen dental. anything to make you smile. book today at aspendental.com, walk in, or call 1-800-aspendental.
8:28 pm
so many people are overweight now, and asking themselves, "why can't i lose weight?" for most, the reason is insulin resistance, and they don't even know they have it. conventional starvation diets don't address insulin resistance. that's why they don't work. now there's release from golo. it naturally helps reverse insulin resistance, stops sugar cravings, and releases stubborn fat all while controlling stress and emotional eating. at last, a diet pill that actually works. go to golo.com to get yours.
8:29 pm
>> greg: he tried to make a stand by super gluing his hand. yesterday, crazed actor james cromwell teamed up with peta, super glued his hand to the counter at a new york city starbucks to either protest the high cost of vegan milk or to celebrate the low cost of super glue. thankfully the police arrived and freed him by chopping off his hand. [laughter] >> greg: i kid, but that would have been cool, huh? standing in line would have made
8:30 pm
it worth it. he's upset that at starbucks milk made from-almonds or soy costs more than regular old milk from a cow's utter and cromwell's had it up to his nipples. >> all over the world you give these things away, no charge for it. here they're's an enormous charge. why when it's so important now to address climate change. there's no reason for it except agreed. >> greg: all right. or because your stupid fake milk costs more to make. you don't have to be a biologist or a supreme court justice to know milk doesn't naturally come from a nut, unless bette midler is lack at a timing. [laughter] [cheers and applause] >> greg: it's not only you can make a joke about lactation. but he certainly isn't the first person to super glue himself to something as a form of protests.
8:31 pm
activists are super gluing themselves at cafe counters, professional basketball courts, outside the british parliament and this just happened here at work. >> this is an outrage. do you not care about the rain forest? you all shower every day. i save gallons and gallons of water by showering only in my mind. my hands are glued to this counter because this is a civil war. showers versus unshowered. >> debra, listen, the company has agreed to your demands, unglue yourself, you just need to sign here. >> oh, great. >> forget it. >> can you give me a ride? what's in your house. i need to sleep at your house but only for like two weeks. i promise. >> greg: dirt bag deb. just shows how diverse fox news is that we have hired dirtbags
8:32 pm
to keep around because she makes us happy. you know, day began, i get the feeling that cromwell wants like a government subsidy to offset the price differential that musk got with electric cars but he wants it with soy milk. >> dagen: is that wrong, though? the government's throwing money -- like elon musk would not exist without government money pouring into that company. he's vegan, he's 82. cromwell looks pretty good. >> greg: yeah well you're vegan. >> dagen: sometimes. and i do like the fact that he's calling out starbucks hypocrisy because they're pumping and humping this green agenda, we're going to get rid of, we're going to move away from meat based or animal based products, and he's like okay, if you're going do that then why is it so much more expensive. you need to walk the talk and encourage people to use these
8:33 pm
vegan milks or whatever. they're not milk technically. but if you're going to super glue something to the counter, super glue something that hurts when you have to rip it off. >> greg: oh, yeah. [laughter]. >> dagen: like your lower leadership. >> greg: did you ever mistake super glue for other things? >> dagen: yes. >> greg: we've all been there haven't we kat? >> kat: i've actually not been there. >> greg: seems like a strange hill to die on as an animal rights activist. because we still can't figure out if all these alternative milks are bad or good for the environment >> kat: i think it was a huge win for him >> greg: okay. >> kat: i know who he is now. i had never heard of this person. and it's, i guess, it's good to be passionate about something. for me it's not so much cows. >> greg: no
8:34 pm
>> kat: sorry to all the cows who watch the show. but i think -- because there is so much hypocrisy with starbucks, they act like they care, they clearly don't care and this is a way -- i always respect when people commit to the bit. he could have just done a tweet but he's like, no, i'm going to go glue myself to the counter. i like passion. so -- >> greg: on there you go. there you go. cromwell's getting some respect here although i don't -- doesn't he understand that the more something costs, the more it will cost you? >> ari:. >> ari: i have e never heard of this guy even after this segment i still don't want to hear of this guy. >> greg: he created la confidential. >> ari: but doesn't glue come from horses or frogs. >> tyrus: from an animal. >> ari: if glue comes from an animal and he's a peta guy how
8:35 pm
can he use glue. >> greg: i think in the old day it came from horses boobs which is why joy bay heart's so short. but it's synthetic. a sixest might say. >> tyrus: i was just like what did horses do to you to deserve that [laughter]. >> greg: i think most of the glue is synthetic. i think it's synthetic, right?. >> ari: that doesn't change the principle he's a peta guy, he should respect the horse, the original source. >> greg: respect the horse, the original source. you are our m&m. eminem. >> ari: i don't know what that is either. . >> tyrus: it's a compliment. >> greg: it is actually. >> dagen: not the candy ari >> ari: oh. >> greg: very clever, by the way. tyrus. >> tyrus: yeah. i'm just worried about kat's social media tonight when she gets attacked by cows all over the country >> kat: i would welcome my cow
8:36 pm
overlords. >> greg: don't you think that animal rights activists suffer from a consciousness privilege because they believe that plants don't have a consciousness, we can eat them. but they're still alive, tyrus. alive and silently screaming? >> tyrus: actually, if you want to go there, plants, trees especially, and a lot of plants have families, they raise their children, they have their seeds grow up next to them and feed off their roots if you really want to go there and really want to be woke. and just to make your little soybean kurd soup you have to kill a lot of little things, all the snakes, bugs, gophers, little rabbits and beatles, lady bugs. all those things got to eat the dirt for you to sit there and glue your hand on a desk that doesn't work. that's the thing about, if you're going to protest do it right. in the old days they cared they chained themselves to something. you object get them off. you're like i'm going to super
8:37 pm
glue myself. no you're not. like the girl with the basketball court she didn't realize it took 15 20 minutes to set. she couldn't believe they were dragging her off much like your skit >> kat: that was not me. i could never look that ugly. >> tyrus: it was a joke >> kat: i look like this all the time, from the moment i wake up -- thank you, to the moment i go bed. [cheers and applause] >> kat: i grow all this hair on my own. >> tyrus: you do a good job >> kat: natural beauty. >> tyrus: this is fake outrage a rich guy complaining he pays too much for soy. >> greg: isn't soy bad. >> tyrus: do you need it? why aren't you at starbucks anyways? [bleep] [bleep] >> kat: it does not give you boobs, i tried that. >> dagen: it doesn't work on women >> kat: i tried for years, soy, soy, soy, boom, 32-a still.
8:38 pm
>> dagen: and by the way if anybody wants to be angry at star bruck's they have conned the unit verse into drinking milk shakes for brooks koepka sniffed absolutely you're drinking 16 ounces of sugar and cream. people want to know why we are he a obese it's not mcdonald's, it's cereal and starbucks. and i'm a nutritionist. coming up brady's contract is no laughing matter as his wallet keeps getting fatter and fatter. i started cosentyx®. five years clear. real people with psoriasis look and feel better with cosentyx. don't use if you're allergic to cosentyx. before starting get checked for tuberculosis. an increased risk of infection, some serious and a lowered ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor about an infection or symptoms or if you had a vaccine or plan to. tell your doctor if your crohn's disease symptoms develop or worsen. serious allergic reaction may occur. best move i've ever made. ask your dermatologist about cosentyx®.
8:42 pm
>> greg: oh, look, after brady's done with the nfl, he won't be staying home with gisele. yeah, fox didn't wait to start baying the quarterback that's still playing. tom brady has signed a massive broadcasting deal with fox sports to analyze nfl games after his retirement. the 10-year contract is reportedly worth $375 million. now he can finally afford to get his ugly face fixed. [laughter] >> greg: what a homely guy.
8:43 pm
he's no madison cawthorn. let's be honest. brady quietly considered the greatest quarterback of all time, although he's no trent dilfer. >> tyrus: no, he's not. >> greg: will now also become -- trent del perfect. the highest paid nfl broadcaster of all time. good for us, hiring tom might be the best decision someone at fox has made since hiring yours truly [cheers and applause]. >> greg: thank you, thank you. oh, stop, stop. we're going to edit it out anyway. which raises the question, can two titans coexist at the same company? one of us is a legendary athletic specimen adored by millions, and the other is tom brady. saw that one coming, didn't you? >> tyrus: yes, i did. >> greg: yes. so let's look at the facts, shall we? >> it's the tale of the tape
8:44 pm
greg gutfeld of tom brady who's the most successful graduate of the high school in california. gutfeld five new york times best sellers. brady one. >> gutfeld three wildly successful tv shows. brady none. gutfeld no super bowl losses. bready three super bowl losses. gutfeld plays eight seasons of youth soccer. brady no documented soccer experience. gutfeld in 2000 was editor and chief of self magazine. brady in 2000 was drafted in the sixth round. the 199th pick. what a lorries. and finally brady is known for not shaking hands after a loss. gutfeld shakes hands of all human beings regardless of age, race, sex or political affiliation. this has been the tale of the tape, gutfeld versus brady.
8:45 pm
>> greg: yes. kat, can't we agree that i am happier than tom brady? he might be a tad better looking and slightly better in sports but i am happy you know me as a happy person. i cannot get any happier >> kat: i would never say that about you. >> tyrus: yeah, have you ever gotten a happy -- >> kat: yeah, just want to make sure you have a great day. >> tyrus: no. he's like you won't believe this. >> greg: really? >> tyrus: i am writing to inform you that that behavior will not be tolerated >> kat: yeah. >> tyrus: you've ruined my day. >> greg: you know --. >> tyrus: yeah, right? >> kat: i knew i should have been an nfl quarterback. >> greg: you couldn't pick up a football >> kat: i could. if i used two hands i could. >> greg: but you can't throw a football with two hands. tyrus, him and i both went to the same high school i have to bring that up all the time. >> tyrus: you constantly do. >> greg: and i'm tired of the fact they named a field after
8:46 pm
him when my name is gutfeld. they could call it gutfeld field. >> tyrus: maybe you'll get the library because you write books. >> greg: i don't think so. the library at sarah high school was not clean. it was a very dirty disgusting --. >> tyrus: how would you know? big reason why probably. >> kat: make sure of it. >> tyrus: this might work out in your favor. historically when the great go to broadcasting it doesn't work out very well. jordan, muhammad ali, they played the game at such a high level when they talk about it they come across as condescending. >> greg: because there's no one better than they are. >> tyrus: and when they watch guys play it's super critical. so this might not be i hate to say it but this could be the best thing that ever happened to you. >> greg: fantastic. >> tyrus: he's going to come to you for help. >> greg: and i won't be there because where was he when i needed help ari? where? answer me press secretary. >> ari: who graduated first, you or him. >> greg: i know we look so close
8:47 pm
in age but i did graduate first. >> ari: just a little. >> greg: 1980 -- what was it? '87. >> tyrus: you graduated early though, too, correct? >> greg: yeah, i was like doogie howser. i went to med school at 14. >> ari: i am a miami dolphin fan i am cheering for brady to fail. like 15 years in a row every sunday which he never did, but i'm hoping he failed. >> greg: i'm hoping he does well because i'm magnanimous day begun. magnanimous. i never said that word out clout. >> dagen: with this contract i know why snacks are looking a little thin, you know? where's my chet mix. they're cutting corners already. >> greg: $40 million a year, that's like twice what i make. [laughter]. >> tyrus: wait. say what? >> greg: they have to cut corners somewhere, they just
8:48 pm
removed the entire outnumbered show. they just dissolved it >> kat: no, they just removed the couch. >> tyrus: everybody's sitting on the floor >> kat: now there's a blanket, blankets on the floor. >> tyrus: outnumbered sleep-over. >> greg:. >> greg: yes. great idea. >> dagen: i'll add one thing though, tom brady's probably thinking tv's really easy and it's super hard. kat went through all the necessary grooming. even for men, like if you don't blink you look like a psychopath and if you blink too much you look like a psychopath so you have to look for the happy medium and i've jet to find it in 20 years. >> greg: well, you know what? i'm happy and i'm a medium. at least that's a guess. >> tyrus: very magnanimous of you. >> greg: thank you. >> tyrus: extreme maga. >> greg: extreme magnanimous. funny. up next if the pilot passes out could you land without a doubt?
8:49 pm
allergies don't have to be scary. spraying flonase daily stops your body from overreacting to allergens all season long. psst! psst! flonase all good. discover a simple way to use colors in managing diabetes! inspired by nature, onetouch verio reflect® meter shows instantly if you're below, within or above your range. it cheers you on and provides guidance. connected to your health and your phone. visit onetouch.com today. ever get a sign the universe is trying to tell you something? the clues are all around us! not that one. that's the one. at university of phoenix, you could earn your master's degree in less than a year for under $11k. learn more at phoenix.edu. [♪♪] in less than a year for under $11k. did you know many anti-fungal products are not intended for the nails? try kerasal.
8:50 pm
8:51 pm
out-of-state corporations wrote an online sports betting plan they call "solutions for the homeless". really? the corporations take 90 percent of the profits. and using loopholes they wrote, they'd take even more. the corporations' own promotional costs, like free bets, taken from the homeless funds. and they'd get a refund on their $100 million license fee, taken from homeless funds, too. these guys didn't write a plan for the homeless. they wrote it for themselves.
8:52 pm
8:53 pm
palm beach after the pilot suffered a medical emergency. would you be able to land a plane without any knowledge? >> dagen: yes. >> ari: i would trust you to. >> dagen: my dad was pilot and my mother was afraid we would be flying with him and we would drop dead. she wasn't worried about him she was worried about us crashing the plane. so i know i could land a plane even with no help. and i would rather potentially die in a small plane crash than to have to fly next to a guy sweaty wearing flip flops eating a giant gallon bag of hard boiled eggs. which happened. >> greg: the dirty secret here, ari, is that pilots are just fancy bus drivers. that's what kat said in the green room. and anybody, anybody can actually fly a plane. that's what kat said. i disagreed. i said pilots are america's heroes >> kat: i don't understand how anybody can drive a bus, it's so -- i'm impressed by bus
8:54 pm
drivers. >> greg: i am, too, especially the fact that the steering wheel is completely inhumane >> kat: yeah. >> greg: what happened to this? why is it like -- [laughter]. >> tyrus: he just told on himself. >> greg: what? >> tyrus: to a normal person it's like this. to gutfeld it's like this, and his little feet can't touch the ground. >> ari: i saw the picture he's 6'5". >> tyrus: talking about gutfeld. >> ari: i saw the pictures. >> greg: no, i mean, like if you're in the bus, it's always like -- >> ari: aren't we talking about an airplane and a hero? >> ari: yes. but this is why this show is successful we don't care what the topics are. we don't even know where we are half the time. all of us are on mesqualine.
8:55 pm
what's going on? >> tyrus: i don't know. just back the bus up. just back the bus up. i saw the movie airplane, it can be done. you know, he listens to the guy. it was a great conversation. he's like where are you? he's like, i'm in the air. >> greg: follow the shore. >> tyrus: yeah, follow the shore, he's like i know i'm over florida, that was it, and just so happened that the guy on the other side was a flight instructor, yeah. which is always a plus. you know, always nice your hidden talent comes out sometimes. >> greg: yes. 90% of flying is really having a run >> kat: i could not. if i was on that plane i would have freaked out i would have created a different problem that people would have needed to solve. >> greg: yes, that's what you would have done. i don't know. i believe that pilots are america's heroes, unlike what
8:56 pm
kat said in the green room. >> tyrus: so kat's got to worry about cows and pilots tonight on twitter. thanks gutfeld. >> greg: i have to go. you guys stick around. don't go away, we'll be right back. qulipta™ can help prevent migraine attacks. you can't prevent what's going on outside, that's why qulipta™ helps what's going on inside. qulipta™ is a pill. gets right to work to prevent migraine attacks and keeps them away over time. qulipta™ blocks cgrp a protein believed to be a cause of migraine attacks. qulipta™ is a preventive treatment for episodic migraine. most common side effects are nausea, constipation, and tiredness. learn how abbvie can help you save on qulipta™. hey businesses! constiyou all deserveedness. something epic! so we're giving every business, our best deals on every iphone - including the iphone 13 pro with 5g. that's the one with the amazing camera? yep! every business deserves it... like one's that re-opened! hi, we have an appointment. and every new business that just opened! like aromatherapy rugs! i'll take one in blue please! it's not complicated.
8:57 pm
at&t is giving new and existing business customers our best deals on every iphone. ♪ ♪ >> tech: when you have auto glass damage, trust safelite. this dad and daughter were driving when they got a crack in their windshield. [smash] >> dad: it's okay. pull over. >> tech: he wouldn't take his car just anywhere... ♪ pop rock music ♪ >> tech: ...so he brought it to safelite. we replaced the windshield and recalibrated their car's advanced safety system, so features like automatic emergency braking will work properly. >> tech: alright, all finished. >> dad: wow, that's great. thanks. >> tech: stay safe with safelite. schedule now. >> singers: ♪ safelite repair, safelite replace. ♪
8:59 pm
and it's easier than ever to■ get your projects done right. inside, outside, big or small, angi helps you find the right so for whatever you need done. with angi, you can connect with and see ratings and reviews. just search or scroll to see upf on hundreds of projects. and when you book and pay throug you're covered by our happiness it's easy to make your home an a check out angi.com today. angi... and done.
9:00 pm
speed rate we are out of time, but we thank you for watching "gutfeld." we love you, america. thank you for joining us. ♪ ♪ ♪ shannon: hello, welcome to "fox news @ night," i am shannon bream in washington. americans struggling with rising prices, inflation continues to soar near a 40 year high. more pushback against president joe biden with covid-19, russia and republicans. and more protesting t
219 Views
Uploaded by TV Archive on