law and order, we believe in parent's rights and the state o florida. >> remember, everybody, america now and forever, freedom matters , it's our great charity. all the freedom matters gear, florida, the future. >> happy memorial day, back in february we took for showed on the road to dallas for a week, while we were there the war in ukraine started and we were preempted for breaking news coverage tonight were bringing you never before seen segments from that week as well as a few other favorite spirit yeah, bab bear he we are awesome very we are awesome very hello, america.

hello, america and the united states of texas. it is great to be here. yesterday we left new york city leaving therefore here is like waking up from a bad dream. it's like going from theng texa to the cowboys. you know what, i don't even kno what that means. i don't know anything about sports it's like going from job a joe behar to anything that isn't joy behar. i would even take a bed of nails , that i know. thank you, by the way for the gift basketi' i've only been in texas for one day and i already got an ar 15. applauding an ar 15, i got an a

15, and phaedo overwork balls and a pickle jar. i'm kidding. we all know he has no balls. even caitlyn jenner would tell him to grow up there. i don't even get that joke. remember when he said he was coming for your guns? and you said yeah, try it, nancy . this guy couldn't get a glue gu from an art teacher. f yet, he wants to run for governor that's a joke. his odds are becoming governor as good as the chances of hunte biden passing a drug test. originally i had kat's name in there. but right now they are running into a problem whether they wan to admit it or not, america is more like texas than it is california or s new york.

that means this monologue is the whole show. that means americans want an america that is more like america.f that our show, a lot of people are coming here for that same reason,, especially from california which makes h sense, the u-haul's are headed in one direction in the apocalypse in the other. california is home to the large share of the country's billionaires and also the highest poverty rate. they build walls around their mansions, but turn your backyards into check start bathrooms with more. which means, california goes to hell in a handbasket in the ric and powerful don't care. t everyone in between has no choice but to leave for greener pastures. can't blame them. everything in texas is bigger and better, even kat has grown since she has been here.

i think she's at least 5'3". texas had a better covid response the new york did, probably because your governor didn't kill more grannies than badly placed slip rug. if only those grandmas had been cuomo might've kept them around that is disgusting. that is disgusting. here is the comparison, they have no state, but california has some of the highest in the nation which means you, texas could have more money to spend on your kids and by kids i mean the firearms. in texas, in texas the best college football team is named after a majestic impressive breed of cattle ends california the best college football name is named after. in texas, in texas you have the bustling new tesla factory in

the home base of elon musk. in california, they have 39 empty cheesecake factories and h homeless guy living in front of each one, so one states as building cars in the other make people live in them. in texas you have to build a wall to protect the border, in new york we had to build a wall to protect women from our governor. in texas the state bird is the northern mockingbird in new yor it's a greasy with one eye and human finger and his mouth. we call that the ducey. in texas you have joe rogan, in new york they have cnn or what is left of cnn.ed everyone someone gets fired or arrested, they are so low on employees check out their new office assistance.

yeah. they are so desperate at cnn, some employees have been forced to harass themselves. new york has hillary clinton, texas does not have hillary clinton. texas has rodeos, new york has this. there you go. that's what you call a new york rodeo. a rat with a slice of pizza. they both go well together in texas you have real cowboys who speak lightly and know howhe to end all their guns. in california, they have alec baldwin. h

in texas, a hoedown is a dance. why bother. why bother.l r in new york city it's what a co says over his radio when a is passed out on your porch.-s and the two-step is when you have to jump over a pile of street vcs. texas is known for its beautifu cattle, that is also true in ne york city. talked about his and mouth disease. here in texas there is a betwee the residence in mexico and california where there is a vas bump between the governor's ears

. here in texas you have the best barbecue and the world. in california, they put pineapples on pizza. that's like putting a mustache on randall lambert. she could pull it off. in california they have skinny soy no foam latte, in texas, yo have coffee. and testosterone. in california you have san francisco and in texas you don't . in texas, there are males and females, in california and nyc, there is one gender and it's called loser. they use more hair dye than the do shampoo, and california and new york you can smash and grab and texas you smash and grab yo drop and died.

in california the homeless can your front lawn. try that in dallas and it is th last you will ever take. in texas you produce euros like sam houston and davy crockett spirit california produces guide . truth california has warner bros., universal studios and paramount pictures, but texas has the greg gutfeld show. so the difference is dark, it's a reminder of who makes the country work and how those people make it possible for the id other idiots to thrive. you right now you see how the rest treats the type that's how they think of you. the trekkers are typical non-

journalist nonmedia hard-workin person freight it's you come your families demeanor space, this week we support you, texas. let's do this, america. kicky welcome tonight's guests, you don't mess with texas and don't mess with her. host about member in former white house secretary kayleigh m cenany. chops only at the finest morgues , jimmy failure. she thought a 10-gallon hat was for holding her vodka, fox news contributor kat timpf. and, finally, he is so big he locks the stars at night.

my sidekick, nwa world television champion, tyrus. i realized that jimmy, i can build smelled the dead hobo you stole those boots from. you're a new york city cabdriver , you were exposed literally to all sorts of people , are the people that our in texas or am i just going for cheap applauseut? kicky or not. i can't even insult your outfits , i think you did a great job shopping at your favorite store forever 5'1". texas is the america a lot of u grew up in. they have freedom and they have buggies. b buggies is the only store and the world where you can get a grab sandwich, air freshener fo your car in a grenade launcher.

this is why when you hear thing about and they say oh, is beating beta by seven points an the fall, it's closer if you count the points on his license. think about it. kicky okay, the value talks on the radio here in texas. i will tell you that texas is never turning blue after what biden did. seriously, selling texans at democrat after biden is lakes selling cruises after titanic. kicky always great to see you. what are your thoughts? kicky thank you.

i can't figure out, we played the. it's new york and new jersey, i can't figure it out. our californians faster than th staffers are fleeing kamala's office? i think the answer is yes. >> i think in florida and texas you license plates, in york you make them. did you see what i did there? you could learn a lot from me. i will tell you right now, the ceo and the president of fox in this audience, what can you tel to convince them to pick up fox in libra ski i want to thank yo about making that comment about me being blues bag in front of the president in ceo.e

usually i have to spend all thi time worrying about whether she hold things are not government now that i appreciate that. this is one of those things where you say like, the freedom the big thing is that here, people do not hate us which is nice. when people smile at you, not i way, strange and perverted we got a lot left. it's like normal people that ar happy to see us. >> the interesting thing about texas is the only place where you actually look smaller. >> look, just because texas is

the only place where you can bu si 17 off of the shelf. correction, the state bird out here it is grown man to this is man country. you can get enough light in the bar and still be friends on monday. did you have a question? >> buddy you intend to do besides the show? >> i'm excited to spend my birthday in texas. on not going to bring up that you forgot, kat. i guess it was just over your head. what a lovely start. i don't remember my birthday. >> because you don't have a birthday. you have a birth week.

texas is a great place in the one thing i like to sayhi. >> up no -- up next to mike and the democrats stay alive after running on hatred. hey lily, i need a new wireless plan for my business, but all my employees need something different. oh, we can help with that. okay, imagine this. your mover, rob, he's on the scene and needs a plan with a mobile hotspot. we cut to downtown, your sales rep lisa has to send some files, like asap! so basically i can pick the right plan for each employee. yeah i should've just led with that. with at&t business. you can pick the best plan for each employee and get the best deals on every smart phone.

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there is no denying that libs are turning on biting. it's less pretty than kat on an the city that's pretty ugly.

of recent college poll finds that support for the old bag of bones is dropping faster than his vital signs appeared 48% an taking office in the early 17 hundreds. right now he's is popular in ne york as a vagrant in your car the upside is i enjoy it pixel pollsters point to his inflatio is the biggest reason why an fo news pulse is 31% of voters are satisfied with the way the country is gone today. it's his lowest rating since he was vice president as russia attacks ukraine under his watch here's a flashback to the 20202 election when biden warned if what would happen if trump was elected. >> imagined but he could do whe another year imagine what can

happen in ukraine. >> thanks to you we don't have to imagine. he not only blamed trump for something that didn't happen, you then made what didn't happe happen. so hunter could could've done a better job in about eight different ways. the president is in trouble. >> no, no, no. it is bad. it is bad attacking cities and bombing innocent civilians, it is no good just imagine if it was the other guy pickett would be worse. than you would have attacking cities and bombing innocent civilians and mean tweets. that is a triple threat you don't get that with me. it is one destitute, buckle my shoe.

what are your thoughts? you are pulling in 40% of the democrats about is pretty bad pit is like the sats. they give you for hundred. i hope he kills us all appear and root for peace. >> libertarian. i feel kind of bad honestly for biden's speechwriter.

the state of the union coming up , what is he going to say. if you are watching this, you are not dead. yes. you know, he's going to play -- blame inflation on the gas prices on ukraine, even though we know it started months ago. we know he's going to say that. they sent, harris there so she' been to two border crisis is in each what is gotten worse. shook the sender to another border? i will write a state of the uc and speech for him. he can under my watch we botch

the afghanistan withdrawals and immigration is at record high, crime is at a record high, gase a record high. the list goes on with the outer abject failures. and were supposed to trust him as our commander-in-chief we ar lacking. so is he. that's the point. >> greg: want to ask you a follow-up question. i want to ask you a follow-up question in case this show airs after the state of the union. what did you think of the state of the union? was along on explanations? >> yes he totally missed saying the truth.

russia invaded ukraine under my watch. or afghanistan withdrawals illegal immigration is at a record high. addictions. inflation. and then the pandemic. and we are just supposed to trust this poor commander-in-chief. >> greg: there you go. i've never seen someone repurposed material that fast since i saw soil and green. that was a pretty good joke. >> very clever. to all of emily's points, i pass . who are these 31%.

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>> greg: all right. lessons are hopping mad that schools might listen to mom and dad. to recent article from new york magazine calls parents hi's -- household tyrants claiming republican parties is part of a move to far right authoritarian is after all, our parents are also telling us to eat your vegetables and go to bed and give a decent education and put on your pants. or what a bunch of gross people looking out for your well-being

it's much better to listen to a activist whose identifying as a woodland nymph. shout out to disney. by pushing back on and gender topics are critical race theory republicans are imposing the parties willing children, the via their parents pick it's lik they want to read their kids an want schools to educate them. how evil can that be. some ladies quote republicans long for a strong figure in power and the same figure in every home. the child has no freedom. the gop for the christian right behind that would strip them further, even if it was in danger of not collect or abuse. that sounds like fun. so did you get all that? if you care about your kids, yo are now the abuser, then the neglect or. if you want to talk about abuse what about masks in schools. that's all right.

it wasn't funny but i will take the applause. one new york survey found that childless adults like kat are more likely to support school mask mandates, nearly two third of people without kids work for it and those who work for mask mandates are much less than half . it is the parents who are tyrants. what about the kids pick they get to be just as terrifying. >> milk in the serial. good job. nice try, okay. this is absolute bs. the tyrants are not the parents. they are the children. children can do anything they want. you can't even hit them anymore. or remember the good old days. you could just pound them.

>> someone forgot to tell my kurds -- for someone forgot to tell my kids. i love when you lose, when you are losing the argument because they are complaining about right-wing agenda in the schools . half you seen the speaker in a school lately? how many republicans wanted to have safe spaces in their schools or talk about gender an critical prices. all those things were leftist things that don't matter. and of never met a republican who is like let's get rid of grading systems and testing in spelling and math and english and history so our kids can jus grow up and. nobody said republicans never. in the op-ed really bothers me, people with no children talking to people with children it's th

quickest way to -- >> greg: kat. >> hold on, gutfeld. you have to have a foot in the game before you can actually sa anything. >> greg: that is how they got you. >> it's like dealing with women on how to deal with their menstrual cycles. i have no foot in the game. >> that's why we have a lot of kids i have a foot in the game. >> greg: i don't even know what that meant. >> reverse this argument, i'm sick and tired of people with kids talking to me about their kids. i don't want to see a picture o your borat i don't care how tal he is or if he said his first

word. if his first word isn't gutfeld. >> i agree with you. whenever someone says to meet m you want to see a picture of my kids. i always say yes and i never mean it. and i thought nobody cared less about other people's kids than did. i really thought that was true until i started to see this coming like, okay, i'm actually tenderhearted and compassionate because i don't think that kids should have to suffocate themselves to go to school. >> that's true. it turns out you really do live for the children. >> idu. i apparently love kids. >> greg: i don't even know what that means. i have no responsibility for

what came out of my mouth. >> that is fair. i was confused by this op-ed in general because she said people go around imagining the leader of a house. i don't imagine people in house that all. most of my imagination is taken up by -- i tell you, we are going to learn some valuable lessons fro this pandemic and that we are going to get old and die and then the next generation is going to have to learn them all over again. do you think that they are just mad because they realize the republicans were right about biden? it is like, you know why, we knew he was a weak president. they are just like, they are just giving up with this crazy. >> there's a delusion that thos people actually believe that. governor abbott proposed a bill were were parents would be the

primary decision makers about their education. is that it's -- they were under a sustained attack that delusion is real an then you contrast that with virginia where they are amended their constitution that made at the school port decision. for which you rather live. or parents have the decision over their kids. you mentioned that and i just have to say i thought that was part of all the parents were trapped in these houses with th kids pick there was a study tha just came out that literally 83 of parents are very happy and have lives that are very meaningful compared to 60% of the childless. so fulfillment is real i feel like i can adopt cath.

i've got to be fulfilled in tha way he. >> i would really careful. >> i what adopt cath and then immediately when she moves and would kick her out of the house. you are an adult, get a job. i'm supporting you. >> that sounded real. >> thank you, think you picked up next, biden supporters are bailing as his policies keep failing.

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it also detects bradycardia, tachycardia, and tells you when your heart rhythm is normal. you can use kardia mobile anywhere. it lets you put your health in your own hands. i didn't think anyone could be happier about that kind of independence than me. but my doctor is over the moon. thank you. feel good about your heart health with kardia mobile. order yours today at kardiamobile.com or amazon. ♪ ♪ >> greg: it's time for the audience tells the story. settle down. this is the first show ever to let you decide what story we cover next pay or i'm going to show you two stories on the one that gets the most applause is the one we are going to do.

so first off, the first story, would you like to hear us talk about the new federal helpline regulations from the national highway traffic safety administration. anybody? alright, the second story is what you like to hear about an olympic skier whose got frozen. i guess that wins. i didn't see that coming. alright it is is the ice cold winky pick if the story of a skier who went for the cold, even though his pole was ice cold. suffered a frozen after spendin over an hour in frigid temperatures competing in the

cross-country race thankfully his icy thong stayed strong and there was no permanent damage pick he said the pain was unbearable but he was still abl to finish. you know, tyrus, when us me to begin this story, i had my doubts. >> i will throw this chair at you. >> let's be honest here. isn't this the most interesting story to come from the olympics? >> know this is the worst story of my life. i mean, how long do you block i off? what you do? 's before you don't want to be the first responder. >> there is no sport, and no fight, know anything when they told me there's a possibility you're going to have a frozen, you win.

take my eyes in my hands, but please. >> greg: half you woken up in the middle of the night and bot of your arms are asleep and you can't turn off the alarm clock? >> no, greg. something tells me you have an anecdote. >> i fall asleep with my hand o the headboard and i fell asleep. >> wait a minute, your hands ar on the headboard? >> well, i think we know what you were doing. >> i have thoughts on this story . >> i bet you do. what are your thoughts. that i will never eat a popsicle . i have a lot of questions was h the only skier with the frozen

and if it was only him, then wh not more that are frozen. why did this happen. what was wrong with him. >> he could be -- it could be that he -- >> he is too slow. if you can't move fast in the snow to the point for your junk is frozen, get a new sport. >> that is so true. 's before i know in the future you will be running for higher office, perhaps present on. i'm only prefacing that with this topic because i don't want you to ruin your career. >> now you made me nervous we know that cross-country skiing is cold and hard.

this just takes it to a whole new level. >> i happen frozen so many times . we had to do ice bath. i think he might've misinterpreted at. i think he is lying. i don't think this is some cross-country skiing. we have to spend like an unusua amount of time in alaskan water in the winter. that is not what it is saying. i don't believe this guy. he did something else. something else is going on. before what is your theory our thoughts, kat? >> it didn't really happen. meant just like talking about their -- vero beach, florida.

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the choice for attorney general is clear. democrat rob bonta has a passion for justice and standing up for our rights. bonta is laser focused on protecting the right to vote and defending obamacare. but what's republican eric early's passion? early wants to bring trump-style investigations on election fraud to california, and early says he'll end obamacare and guard against the growing socialist communist threat. eric early. too extreme, too conservative fanduel and draftkings,

for californ two out of state corporations making big promises to californians. what's the real math behind their ballot measure for online sports betting? 90% of profits go to the out of state corporations permanently. only eight and a half cents is left for the homeless. and in virginia, arizona, and other states, fanduel and draftkings use loopholes to pay far less than was promised. sound familiar? it should. it's another bad scheme for california. >> greg: welcome back. this is usually the part of the welcome back to this is a part of the shofar we discuss discussed things that make no sense. we are going to showcase alaska's most famous comedian.

alaska's only comedian. give a big round of applause fo our good friend jb. oh, man. that is so true what greg just said. i was at the bar this guy said what is comedy like in alaska and i said you are talking to i this is the whole thing inside my shirt. i triple over doing comedy and that's fun to watch out different states respond to the pandemic. i like ihow kat -- in texas you set this whole covid thing, we're just going t skip it you guys did. i was so excited. i was nervous and excited so i got here super early.

that is me in my truck. try to kill it, you are killing people. even the shows that we had purpose are. ii had this one performer the entire time he was on stage, he wore a mask. it just kind of ruined it. or was he it just feels free here.th it's just that the bible is different for you guys aren't social distancing and you're no wearing masks anymore. we are not afraid. i believe him so i was sitting on his lap facing him. i'm like this guy doesn't care about it. this guy is intuit. i'm going to be totally honest. i get intimidated sometimes

being in texas because there ar a lot of real men here. and i don't know if you can tel by looking at me, but i am not exactly what you would call a man's man. i'm not afraid and sure of whatw you would call a woman's man. i went to the doctor and though something was wrong i don't hav a lot of the guy tendencies pic i don't hunter. he said we can figure it out pretty comes back and has ato clipboard and he looks very serious. it turns out you are what is known ass a huge [bleep]. and i go, come on, there's no way that is unnatural diagnosis. the guy goes, okay, you've got me picket is not an actual diagnosis but i knew that i can call you that you wouldn't do

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before what a great night. at happy memorial day. for back with a brand-new episode tomorrow night. i love you, america. >> good evening welcome to washington. i am bret emmanuel in forgh bre baier. following last week's massacre at a militant duty school, president biden is continuing t push gun control, asserting the second amended is not absolute. the president is also marking this holiday during a time of war involving one of the world' most dangerous adversaries. jacqui heinrich begins our coverage tonight. good evening, jackie. expected a president by