bill clinton did a lot of exposing -- please not al franken. david guests anthony weiner. just announced from accidental threats to pet peeves, each week to gather he will resist the temptation to curse the darkness. he is decided to go into podcasting. greg gutfeld next. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> greg: and i don't care! happy hump day america. do have a great monologue tonight, the best one of the year -- what's the hurry? you got to be somewhere? sandra?

>> i love the new place. >> greg: whatever. that's white of you come a of racists. look at you, i'm important, time is money, i have wonder bread and mayonnaise to eat, your typical bigot always in a rush, thank you. it's true, urgency is racism at least according to the oregon health officials who delayed a meeting for no other reason then stating that urgency is a white supremacy value. as excuses go it sounds a lot better than the dog ate my alarm clock but raises a key question. since my show starts on time every night to do i qualify as a grand wizard? in an email obtained by the magazine reason, reaching a health equity coalition program manager danielle droppers told folks a scheduled conversation it would not take place as planned because urgency is a white supremacy value that can

get in the way of more intentional and thoughtful work. i assume what she calls sleeping in and watching the view from her toilet, that's how i watch it. what a happy coincidence for a government worker that it's racist to do your job whether it's holding a scheduled meeting or teaching children math, doing both is racist so don't bother, that way everyone fails, not just the government to. this is the oregon health authority, an actual agency tasked with court needing medical care as well as unloading covid info during the pandemic. it's no wonder they screwed up that state over covid, it would've been racist not to come and could you use a broader brush to paint with? blacks are never in a hurry. when you say both out runs a white guy which is every time is that reverse racism? what's the hurry, slow down, you're starting to run like a white guy?

i worry, i wonder if this stuff will ever show up at fox. >> i had a great time at the lake house. >> i didn't know you could fit that many hot dogs up there. we have to help them quick! >> don't you know that rushing is a major tenant of white supremacy and your shallow desire for fast results can stop people from joining our cause because they are late or they don't work here. how could you be so insensitive? >> you're absolutely right, thank you for educating me. >> i promise to do the work. >> let's go. [applause] >> greg: to educate the confused on why urgency is racist another employee pointed to wait antiracist educator that pushes the idea that harmless traits are evil proof of white supremacy, stuff like wanting to write stuff down or being a perfectionist. it's getting to the point where

i don't understand when they used the term white supremacy, do they mean it as an insult or a compliment? you write stuff down, you seem to value time and you want things done right. you've just described the perfect employee and all the things that make this country the envy of the rest of the world. this is all part of diversity, inclusion, and equity training materials. it's what every company that promotes this will do. this is good news for lazy, incompetent workers. [laughter] he's asleep right now. show up late, unprepared, stinking of blues, you're fighting white supremacy now. looking back on it in college, i was rosa parks. i've got to admit this is diabolical. what a great way to ruin someone's career, all the things

that make you successful make you a bigot, like a boxing trainer telling his protege if you want to be a world champ some day don't go to the gym, don't worry about your footwork and smoking will improve your lung capacity. don't avoid mcdonald's, that [bleep] is delicious. by telling others that good traits are racist, you're telling them to fail. cnn must of had this plan in place for the last ten years. you couldn't ask for a better way to leapfrog past coworkers plagued by white guilt. you get them all to stay home until they are tardy and then you win by showing up on time all while telling minorities don't reach your potential -- you will get equity once everybody loses. of course for those bureaucrats who aren't held accountable like ms. droppers, their incompetence is expected to. public health bureaucrats can literally cause a pandemic and still not get fired. the only thing they do on time is collect taxes. hears some questions for ms. droppers whose name is

perfect for someone dropping standards for herself. if urgency is a racist a value, why don't we delay your paycheck? for a few weeks. makes us all a little less racist, how about some vacation? beach is still nice in november, don't even think about leaving friday early to beat the traffic, you know better than robert byrd. forget sunscreen and just put on your white hood. think about obama and harris and jackson. they are all historical firsts, how very white of them to come in first. best hope you don't end up in the emergency room, can there be anything more racist then an emergency? emergencies demand quick action. whenever you get around with it, i didn't mean to sound like a

bigot. imagine being a doctor trying to curb your urgency, we need an appendectomy asap. what am i, a doctor or a plantation boss? at any rate, i'm hitting the links, we can catch up tomorrow, unless you're dead. dead. death, talk about finally escaping your own racism and we would all rather be dead than be called racist and isn't death really the least racist thing ever? think about it, what do we call you when you die? late. let's welcome tonight's guests! this former track star never jumps the gun when breaking a story, sandra smith! [cheers and applause] he's like mr. clean, muscular, bald and leaves a lemony sent.

former acting attorney general matt whitaker! [cheers and applause] she's smart, attractive and inspiration to young women everywhere, fox news contributor kat timpf! and finally his paper airplanes must submit a flight plan, tyrus! sandra, welcome to the show. >> i'm almost speechless because of this new set, congratulations. it is awesome. >> when you asked if we had a live audience you should have said no. >> amazing audience! >> greg: i'm glad you came late to this party, it makes it the least racist person here. >> i was late. and you were adamant about not being late, i apologize. >> greg: by this definition i

am the most racist person who ever walked -- i'm always trying to beat the previous record on the show of getting out. >> i screwed it up. >> greg: you did you had a change of clothes. you know what you wore? white. [laughter] what do you make of this stuff? >> it's almost like i didn't know this was a topic. it's another example of wasting taxpayer funds. these are government employees getting paid on taxpayer dime who are late and they decide to have an excuse, a lame excuse for that. the irony of all of this is in this moment of all the perils in the current white house administration, guess what democrats are screaming? they want to see more urgency for the biden administration, i couldn't help but see that insane irony in this moment to.

that's what governor pritzker in illinois is saying about president biden, we wanted to be more urgent, step up to the plate, bold action. that was my simple observation but yet another example of wasted taxpayer money. >> there are times when he is urgent but it's usually involving a ball movement. >> oh, my god! >> greg: you could have seen that coming like a frisbee in the desert. coming right at you, here it comes. so matt, your white. >> yes. >> greg: that's all i have come i want to thank you for coming here. >> life is urgent, let's remember that. you hurry to get things done company succeed, basically you were taught from childhood all the qualities that make successful people and ultimately you fight not to die and get everything done before you die. the one thing you can say that

allows people to never argue back is that his white supremacy. if you argue against this woman, you lose that argument 100% of the time. him >> greg: you think she was just hung over? i only make excuses when i'm hung over. what does that say about me? >> you have a lot of excuses. >> we know nobody could get food poisoning that often. >> greg: you should see what i eat when i'm drunk. what do you think, do you think this is real? >> this is the cat ate my homework on steroids. this is impossible that someone actually believes the quality of urgency is a white supremacist value. is this a person that is expert on that now? i would love to have her write more emails and more excuses as to why she can't meet with taxpaying voters. >> greg: because they are

racist. >> did you ever eat your homework? >> no. >> greg: that's good, good for you. >> greg: it feels like this is a white supremacist movement taking these and making them sound racist when they could be put to good use. >> i was confused by this one and i started reading more about it is nice got more confused. the explanation was when you are in a rush, then you can't stop and have good decision-making which i agree with. when i'm in a rush sometimes i will forget my wallet or something like that but i don't understand with a racist part comes in. being in a rush you don't suddenly start seeing racial slurs or at least i don't. >> greg: is there a way -- maybe taking your time maybe it's about taking your time it's not about rushing? i don't know. >> bad things can happen when you're in a rush, i get it. i read so much about it than i could not find anywhere where the racism comes in.

>> greg: tyrus, leftward for you. >> i was glad she finally brought it up. i have been dealing with your racism for six years, beyond time, no the topic, don't leave during the segment, for her to show up to say goodbye and get some applause, the white supremacist is holding me down and forced me to be on time. the bravery of her to come forward and finally fight for all us minorities to say what needed to be said to because we can't be on time, we can't be smart, we can't have morals, we got to lower the bar so low so we can be equal with y'all, thank you so much stepping off your high horse and helping us. that is the most racist woman ever. she basically said urgency,

being prepared, knowing your stuff, they can do that. >> this isn't a live news where you have to have a delay were you can hit the delete button or can we just drop -- >> i'm doing the best i can, i'm a minority. [cheers and applause] they are so scared to talk. >> greg: before we go, tyrus, you have a quick announcement. >> we have a quick announcement. >> we are going to be at the new jersey performing arts center september 23rd, get tickets, come cs it's going to be a fun party. >> greg: i think it's going to be a great party.

everybody that shows up gets a free -- >> lock of my hair. >> no rush, no need to be on time. >> i'll get there when i get there. >> greg: up next, even libs like debra messing find the the presidents failures depressing. that was perfect! [laughter] this is the sound of better breathing. fasenra is an add-on treatment for asthma driven by eosinophils. it helps prevent asthma attacks, improve breathing, and lower use of oral steroids. fasenra is not a rescue medication or for other eosinophilic conditions. fasenra may cause allergic reactions. get help right away if you have swelling of your face, mouth and tongue, or trouble breathing. don't stop your asthma treatments unless your doctor tells you to.

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>> greg: do washed up celebs like debra messing regret giving sleepy joe their blessing.

she was the star of will and grace, voting for biden left her with egg on her face. suddenly i'm hungry. cnn reports following the supreme court's overruling of roe v. wade, debra messing and a bunch of other activists recently joined a call with white house staff that took time out updating the resumes but according to people on the call, messing was a mess. "she said she's gotten joe biden elected and wanted to know why she was being asked to do anything at all, yelling there didn't even seem a point to voting." others wondered why the call was happening. she wasn't the only one confused like joe himself trying to answer his stapler. activists were given biden clips to share on tiktok, that's the

app that china uses to spy on idiots. it's as organic as a twinkie but then brian stelter would try to eat it. up the creeps that elected joe are now losing confidence in him as cnn admits some of the loudest members of his party are wondering if he's even equipped to deal with everything happening around him. challenges like the war in ukraine, crime, inflation and of course the worst thing, climbing stairs. i wonder what joe has to say about all of this. >> look. debra messing, i don't need her. will and grace, she wasn't even the best person on that show. it should've been called will and that other gay guy. i'm fun, they're fun, isn't that what it means? look at their parades, they're having a blast. sometimes when i talk too long i

whisper and nobody remembers what i said before the whisper. [cheers and applause] >> greg: debra messing believes she got joe biden elected when everybody knows it was alyssa milano. she's the boss. >> i know when they are having these troubles, they bring celebrities to the rescue. is anyone surprised that the person who campaigned from their basement couldn't fill five hula hoops with people is now having a problem running the largest country in the world? it's not surprising to me. >> i forgot about the hula hoops. >> greg: those were the good old days. why do you think they are panicking now? >> they see a cataclysmic loss in 2022 and -- good, someone applauded. >> greg: it may have been joe biden. >> if you think about how this lines up, can he do it, can he

run in 24? people are jumping off the ss biden and the loss in 22 is going to confirm they need to dump him over the side. >> greg: do you look to debra messing for your political guidance? [laughter] >> no. i told you this was going to happen. >> greg: you said it like six months ago. >> biden was not the end goal. it's not their plan, they have embodied and excited the wrong part of the society, all because it's part of their progressive, woke agenda and biden was a moderate and they needed him, bernie couldn't do it by himself. they will blame everything on him and now they will get the celebrities to come forward and

say he's wrong and eventually within the next two months they will be talking about his capacity to understand and stuff and we will have a christmas present for everybody, get the bomb goes because it will be kamala, it will be all better. watch, bet. >> greg: bongos make are totally -- you put bongos behind what she says, everything is amazing. >> i would invest in bongos right now. get them out when she comes on, you won't be as sad as you thought. >> greg: it's like when you play dark side of the moon when you're watching "wizard of oz." >> yeah, i've done that. >> greg: that's true. what do you make of this? do you think this is normal? >> no! it's not, i think all of these democrats are talking about what biden should be doing, their expectations are way too high.

they shouldn't be, it's not enough for him to just give one speech and disappear but they forget this is a guy we all saw carrying around a note card that said you take your seat. it's like if you're dating a guy who was awful and he cheats on you all the time and he hates you, what he should do is give you your dream proposal, we need to realize this is a lost cause and move on. >> dream proposal. of their describing him as rudderless, aimless, and hopeless, sounds like geraldo on his yacht. if you laughed at that, that is very mean. what do you think? >> you're hearing this just about everywhere, you asked matt

why are they so fed up, you're referencing celebrities that pushed for this presidency and the answer is every single data point, every single -- i know you love when i bring my notes but i am your news anchor on the show. 23% of the american people, a mere 23% have confidence in the institution of the presidency today, record low. monmouth university, just 10% believe this country is headed in the right direction right now. the president's approval rating syncing to an all-time low, 36%. you have "the washington post" pushing for this president to usher in a different vibe, do something. up they are fed up, my only concern is that is grabbing headlines for democrats and this administration because they care about the celebrities but what they are not caring about is the average american who was suffering through this inflation -- sky high inflation, gas prices.

>> greg: i have to move on but i will say there is a big piece of fake news, debra messing is not a celebrity. >> we are lowering the bar! >> isn't that what you do? lower the bar? >> greg: up next, a lawmaker gave up working shot and won the vote of sir mix a lot. favorite story! only at vanguard, you're more than just an investor

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and shortness of breath. with leqvio, lowering cholesterol becomes just one more thing life throws your way. ask your doctor if leqvio is right for you. lower. longer. leqvio. >> greg: economy got you in a rut? than watch me shake my butt. i speak of rhode island state senator tierra mack who doesn't have backing but evidently has back ing.

posted this 82nd video of her torquing upside down on a beach -- why are you guys so disgusted by this? this is beautiful. i remember when politicians use to just shake hands. and already has 2 million views and that is just from matt whitaker. >> 2 million more tonight! >> greg: exactly. at the end of that working, she told viewers to vote for her in her reelection campaign which reminds me i should really start learning mandarin. i plan on torquing in china. >> you had that on a loop, don't you? >> slow down there. >> after getting flack for her abundant back, she tweeted torquing upside down really makes the conservative unhinged internet account pop off on a monday. tell me about it, that's why never post might work videos until midweek.

elizabeth epps a far left democratic nominee for the colorado legislature tweeted this photo of herself in a bikini -- i can't see that far in a snowstorm and wearing an ankle monitor, interesting with the caption go ahead, do you work out before you condemn ms. mack for her to work, remember she's not the first, she has one and a long line of successful politicians who have incorporated working editor campaign. who can forget calvin coolidge? or richard nixon. and of course, hillary. we won't vote for senator mack but we won't judge her harshly either, she's proving democrats have their heads where we suspected. do i need to say it? let up their own asses?

i just at. is this criticism fair? shouldn't all politicians have some torquing capability? >> in the name of all that is holy and whatever god you believe in, no. [laughter] would you really want to see lindsey graham in a debate -- the questions are getting tough and he starts unbuttoning his jacket, i'll show you what it's about, you want to see that? >> i kind of do. >> i don't. this is the problem. they don't vote on anything but external stuff. if we say anything complementary, if we say one thing like that's cool -- that's sexist. don't judge me by my body. you're shaking it in my face i feel like -- and then you have to apologize on twitter for

looking at her backside that she was putting for you to look at. it's not fair. >> greg: it's not fair if you criticize her after, then your fat chaining, you are fat chaining which we don't do here. is this a left-wing version of a republican showing off his hunting rifle? >> yes. i think she looks fun. there's no way she's not fun. i want her to teach me to do that. >> greg: she could use you as a back scratch or. be like this -- hold on. >> i don't think i agree with her on any of her ideas about the government and what the government should do, that would be my issue with her but if she wants to work on the beach, that's fine. >> greg: i cannot unsee her twerking, one of those hula

girls on a dashboard it's right in there, it will go on forever. in a way, it's a very effective tool. >> thanks to you, all of us can't unsee it either. what you want to do on your own time is your own time but this was a public display clearly for post. i will tell you because matt was teasing me about being prepared, i was not prepared for the second because guess what happened on my twitter feed which we all use for news purposes -- i have very specific accounts i follow, politics, news, this was in my news feed and i was in the elevator walking down the hall here today between shows, i'm scrolling in this video came up so many times and i'm like what is everybody -- i have somebody jiggling on my phone. i actually didn't know the whole story until now. to go back to her point, fun, great, what are the policies? voters need to be asking those

questions. >> greg: matt, you are currently working on a 1200 page anthology on the history of twerking. [laughter] i know you asked me to write the forward and i was so touched. >> because you are the resident expert on the subject. >> greg: i don't know if fox will allow me because i'm only allowed to do -------------------------------- -------------------------------- --------------- segments at fox, i can't do any other twerking. what have you learned as the twerking expert to? >> one thing i'm always reminded when something like this comes up whether it's people, my friend eric schmidt in missouri doing a blowtorch commercial or doing twerking -- none of this matters at the end of the day, they are human beings like the rest of us. they have lives especially state senators and state reps and it is all about the people they represent or they want to vote for them and i'm concerned that these liberal politicians especially the ankle monitor

state candidate in colorado who you mentioned wants to release everyone from jail. >> greg: that's pretty bad, that's worse from twerking. >> our cities are exploding from violent crime including here in new york city and it's heartbreaking to me that we have a whole group of people that say no one should be in jail -- that's not a laugh line, i'm sorry to bring it down. >> greg: that's okay, i did learn something from the segment and that is rhode island had state senators. an island has senators? when did this happen? >> i didn't know that twerking, i had to be on your feet. >> you can twerk from all different directions. i'm on the field of study team. we're looking for talent,

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>> greg: the musical hippies left spotify in a huff but then returned because the money is enough. crosby stills and nash otherwise known as [bleep] have quietly returned their music to spotify, very quietly because no one is listening to them. five months after announcing they were boycotting the platform over joe rogan's covid comments because david crosby is a paragon to health. phil collins paid for his liver transplant after decades of

abuse so crosby lecturing rogan on health is like nancy pelosi giving you tips on eyebrows. when a fan asked crosby why they came back he replied "i don't own it now and the people who do are in the business to make money." unlike crosby, he's not into this to get rich, he wants to make enough money in case he wears out another liver. he wears out more organs than a grinder monkey. that should've landed harder and i'm disgusted by this audience. little grinder monkey with an organ, he wears out the organ, -- jesus. do i have to explain everything to you? neil young's apart from -- still

back on the platform. let's revisit some of the greatest hits. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> greg: do i remember them as being slightly better than that but it's not gone well with age. you know what this reminds me of? it's like getting 2,000 retweets for an erroneous tweet and then when you corrected, no one pays attention, nobody's paying attention to the fact they skulked back. >> i don't know how anybody noticed. it was a huge story when it went off, people were checking every day to see if they were back. i think what they wanted was

okay, we'll do this, other people will follow suit and we'll be the heroes that started all and took down joe rogan but obviously that did not happen. money does that, businesses want to make money -- that's how you have one. >> greg: that is very true. that's a great understanding. >> i could feel them for neil kabuto. >> greg: i'll send him a text, he's all making me lasagna. it's kind of like a spot if i left the door open and a raccoon snuck in, that is what happened, nobody knows. >> because it's always about the money. notice when they pulled the music from spotify there were statements from the band members that say we fully support the decision based on joe rogan's comments on vaccine and

disinformation, this wasn't our decision, this the people who owned this to make the money from it. no combination of the moneymaker putting their music back on spotify. >> greg: did you know that phil collins paid for david crosby's liver? >> i didn't! it is an amazing fact. how much did they sell the library for if they couldn't afford the liver transplant figure they don't own it, they sold it. they monetize that, very confusing. obviously one person who paid attention, they forgot the check for five months who came back and said they are back on. great story about how he played the bongos, this brings us back -- he played the bongos on a beatles song that was so awful that george harrison cut him from the track. >> greg: he's not a talented man, david crosby and i think that's very clear by his

irritating music. i have a question i really wanted to ask you but i can't. these guys are like radical revolutionary 1960s legends and they did it for the money, they came back for them on. >> no, they were radical. they had real things to fight about in the 60s. we don't really have those issues anymore. what you are seeing is this is what it is when the woke attack if you just stand your ground, look them in the eye, was going with me to the movie jerry maguire -- she was with me? that is the woke in itself, we aren't doing anything you are doing, you want to take the music and dull, fine. they left, twitter moved onto the next person to go after, that's what the woke do and looked around and said here's our stuff, sorry about that. nothing happened.

we won, the six months when we were gone, we showed them. >> greg: they got caught up in the moment. >> that's what woke is, it is a moment going after people. stand your ground, move on. >> greg: if it wasn't for the woke we would have no contents. stick around. up next, students get more sleep. ♪ ♪

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♪ call one eight hundred,est resul eight million ♪ every search you make, every click you take, every move you make, every step you take, i'll be watching you. the internet doesn't have to be duckduckgo is a free all in one privacy app with a built in search engine, web browser, one click data clearing and more stop companies like google from watching you, by downloading the app today. duckduckgo: privacy, simplified. >> greg: five words. rats can sleep in now. a new california law says high schools can't start before 8:30 a.m., middle schools can't start before 8:00 a.m. allowing kids to sleep in, good idea.

>> i think more sleep is good, p is with the pediatrics academy recommends. i get it but why don't they have parents address the problem at home? put your kids to bed earlier. they are staying up on video games, watching tv, screen time, parental responsibility. on a huge believer in that but i do like the idea of more sleep. my parents were strict. >> greg: how much did you sleep? >> not a lot. >> greg: what were they strict about? >> everything. school did start too early, it's way too early. >> greg: i'm afraid we are running out of time. in your next session we will pick up where we left off. >> i'll text you throughout the night. >> greg: tyrus? >> better start speaking mandarin now, the rest the world gets up, germany gets up, israel gets up, china gets up.

you are so right instead of turning off the internet you're not going to give them more time to stay up later, so then it will be you know what? we have to do it at 12:00, we have to keep pushing it back. they never address problems, they try to push everything back, just keep lowering the bar. the greatest generation stormed the beaches of normandy, we are raising a generation that can't even storm the beaches of tiktok. >> not before 12:00. >> i know you think i'm a nerd, i had an 8:30 p.m. bedtime. it was strict at my house, it was lights off. >> greg: that's pretty crazy, did you live on a farm? >> look where you are today. >> that structure is missing. i didn't like it at the time. >> look at her now.

>> greg: maybe that's why she was late to this show. we have gone full circle. don't go away, we will be right back." but we should get back to work. ♪ ♪ this good? perfect. if you're gonna work remote... work remote. find new workspaces. find new roads. chevrolet.

this is the sound of better breathing. fasenra is an add-on treatment for asthma driven by eosinophils. it helps prevent asthma attacks, improve breathing, and lower use of oral steroids. fasenra is not a rescue medication or for other eosinophilic conditions. fasenra may cause allergic reactions. get help right away if you have swelling of your face, mouth and tongue, or trouble breathing. don't stop your asthma treatments unless your doctor tells you to. tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection

or your asthma worsens. headache and sore throat may occur. ask your doctor about fasenra. >> greg: great show. we are out of time. sandra smith, matt whitaker, tyrus. kat timpf. "fox news @ night" with and i'm greg gutfeld. i love you, america. ♪ ♪ >> shannon: hello and welcome to "fox news @ night." i am shannon bream in washington. breaking tonight, new details in the investigation into the highland park parade shooting, the accused shooter and his movement in the hours before and after the attack. the stories continue to dig into how he legally bought a number of guns despite disturbing interactions with police. we will take a look at how