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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  July 12, 2022 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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president? >> laura: it's the one in the dress on the other side. the rest of america is thinking the same thing, joe. congrats to juju girl who got it right. set your dvr. always stay connected to us. usa made freedom matters gear and the mandate freedom gear. it's all on lauraingraham.com. thank you for watching. ♪♪ >> greg: happy tuesday, america! and i mean all of you, except for fox & friends. ha-ha. you see, i want my bathrobe back and luther vandross cd's. last week, the biden administration finally admitted the president was being a total
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[bleep] when he accused border patrol agents out of whipping illegal immigrants. those were the actual words. total [bleep]. the head of the border patrol announcing the results of their absurd months long investigation into an incident that both the dems and the media use to demonize innocent agents. >> after an extensive review, the u.s. attorney issued their decision not to prosecute the case. opr found no evidence border patrol agents involved in this incident struck any person with their rings intentionally or otherwise. >> greg: thank you for the heads up, chris. but we could have told you that on day one. those claims were already debunked by everyone including the guy who took the damn pictures. what a waste of taxpayer money, and all to cover their asses. i got two words for you, instant
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replay. they use it in sports to clear up a questionable call and this one isn't are wasn't even questionable. even the migrants say don't you dopes know how horses work? but a second look should have cleared up any confusion immediately, like an nfl ref. upon further review, the reigns of the officers never made contact with the illegal immigrants, therefore, there's no unnecessary roughness call. please reset the clock to 2016. [cheers and applause] oh yeah. but instead the dumbest president in history smeared american citizens who were just doing the job he refused to do while he sat in a pool of his own ignorance among other fluids. >> to see people treated like they did, horses barely running over people being strapped, it's outrageous. i promise you, those people will pay. >> as we all know, it also evokes images of some of the
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worst moments of our history where that kind of behavior has been used against the indigenous people of our country, has been used against african-americans during times of slavery. >> it's a horrifying images that do not reflect who we are, who we aspire to be or the integrity and values of our truly heroic personnel in the department of homeland security. >> the horrific video of the cvp officers on horses using brutal and inappropriate measures against innocent people. >> greg: once again, all of these [bleep] are wrong. but more important, none of them apologized or even owned up to it. of course, kamala still hasn't apologized for her tweet defending justice mollet.
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they're just going to assume you're too distracted, panicking you with the latest monkeypox baboonaroids or chimpazema. sounds like a good drink. they think they won't be held account are accountable. sad thing is, they're -- they won't be held accountable. sad thing is they're right. they deserve no mercy tonight. here is why. joe biden publicly condemned an american with no due process, something no president should ever do. camera compared border patrol agents to slave owners. how is that not hate speech? how does that not put a target on their backs? sorry, lady, if there's anyone with a link to slave owners, it's someone named kamala, harass. i'm just quoting her dad, professor donald harris who wrote, "my roots go back within my lifetime to paternal grandmother miss crissy,
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descendant of hamilton brown on record as plantation and slave owner of brownstown, a town in jamaica. who knows if that's true, really? but if it is, that'll make kamala the first v.p. to owe reparations to herself. she could spend the money on a public speaking class. of course, alejandro mayorkas is an incompetent clown. this guy looks like he should be assembling christmas toys in the north pole being in charge of immigration. every time i see him, i want to pull his ears like that weird rubber doll. that doll has a name called panicked pete. meanwhile, four agents are still to be punished for using bad
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language and unnecessary force, something i'm sure hunter does every time he's with a hooker. these guys are border patrol agents doing the brutal job. they're not teachers in a finishing school in switzerland. we see the media and dems' true colors. no matter the crisis, they only care when they could find an american villain. 50+ migrants stacked in the back of a truck. big deal, they say. if that happened under trump's watch, the media would have had him pegged as the driver. biden won't say, "i'm sorry. i will make those people pavement" thank god we have a doctor nearby. >> diversity of this community as distinct as the bogodas of the bronx and as beautiful as the blossoms of miami and as unique as the breakfast tacos here in san antonio.
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>> greg: looks like joe is rubbing off drought and not in the usual -- off on the doctor, and not in a usual way. you think a real life doctor could know the difference between people and inmatnant things. what do you think of dr. jill's comments, joe? >> hey, hey, hey, look. leave my wife alone. she's a doctor, all right? she'll get ya. look, she's right. i've been to those bogadas. they're full of breakfast tacos. jill got that from me. that's my nickname for the hispanic people. i say, come here, my little breakfast taco, let me take a whiff of you. oh, i've got sour cream on my nose. they like it. they like it. you know, all of the minorities like me. i don't care who you are. the latinx people, the malcolm x people, they all like me. [cheers and applause]
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>> greg: it's good. it's good to laugh but the treatment of those agents isn't funny at all. it's positively orwellian. we're living in 1984 and no wonder, joe loves that year, it's when he turned 60. now, the agents could be suspended for 14 days. so you want to still beat society? how about one that says you're innocent of a crime but we're going to punish you any way. this is america, not a porn flick. it's like that old line from the head of stalin's secret police, show me the man and i'll show you the crime. i do that with this guy, but we'd be here until 40. 40 -- until 2040. this is happening before your eyes. they don't have to hide it because they don't have to. not with today's emmassclated media. if we had a real press, this
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wouldn't happen. real journalists know those were reigns with horses and not whips. anyone saying otherwise is a horse's ass. she's so brainy, zombies stalk her, "new york post" physicist reporter lydia moynihan. you can't put him in a box, unlike most of his belongings. actor/writer/divorced comedian, jamie. well, she'll steal your heart and then your wallet, fox news contributor kat timpf. good luck throwing him under the bus, my massive sidekick and the nwa world television champion tyrus. [applause]
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why didn't jill, tyrus -- good to see you, by the way, and i love the hat. >> man of a lot of hats around here. with the hood, changing it up. >> greg: really nice hat. >> thank you. you can't have it. it's too big for you it would be a boat for you. >> greg: i could turn it upside down and go snowboarding. >> or boating before you went there but that was cool, you were hot. >> greg: i didn't hear it. bogadas. have you been to a bogada? >> no. but i've been to speeches with out-of-touch old white women before. this is the result -- i'll take a bit of a heat off of the administration. this is what happened when you don't have a good transition of power. i think what happened was is like i think the trump administration played some pranks on him. i think they took all of the cords for the xerox machines and left with them so nobody reads anything. they all just wing t and this is
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-- wing it, and this entire administration has been winging it. they don't know what really happened at the border because no one watched the video. they just told each other about it so whenever they talk, they don't know the truth, they just -- and then biden gets up there and bless his little heart, he couldn't even get horses out. he's like, you're going to ride this -- stuttering -- court -- mr. ed. great show. love it literally, because nobody -- because the administration took the cords, and i think you should have played the rest of her speech, because it wasn't -- she just didn't call latin americans breakfast tacos. she kept going. she was like, and all of my african-american ribs and my white bags of oatmeal. we're all favorite, fattening food. none of us are anything exciting. none of us got to be celery or something healthy. we were all -- >> greg: what would i be if i were a food? >> you'd be a pomegranate.
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>> greg: why? >> it's little and tiny and as soon as it gets close to your mouth, you want to spit it out. [laughter] [applause] >> greg: that was pretty quick. pretty quick. >> i wear a lot of hats. >> greg: you do wear a lot of hats. you know, jamie, it's good to see you. you look fit. >> good to see you. so weird tyrus said that. an egg roll cut me off on the way here. [laughter] [laughter] >> greg: he deserves it. >> he deserves it. >> greg: he deserves it. >> how did you get divorced again? [laughter] [laughter] >> this is fun, right? this is a really fun speech by jill biden. who are their speechwriters? each other? what are they doing?
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is it true -- do you think she mispronounced it because of being out of touch? is it because things are delivered? i wished she had gone on and on now. oh, we went to the bogada. then we went home and joe -- [slurred his speech] and i did the -- [indiscernible] i don't think they do regular people stuff them don't know what to say. how weird is it they just pretended the video was different from what it was? we could see -- i always feed bad when a see a policeman on a horse. i always wondered did you do something wrong? if you're a really good cop, they go, here is a car and a gun. if you're not that good, they say, here is a horse and a whip. if you really sucked, they're like here is a bicycle and a flashlight, ok? put all of your stuff in the basket. >> greg: i would take the desk job over the horse job in a second because desk doesn't drop the big load of [bleep]. >> yeah.
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>> you weren't supposed to make any jokes about that, gutfeld . >> greg: they didn't catch me. there's an alarm system about poop jokes now. i'm right under the radar. lydia, you are a reporter. let's start with that. >> i like to think of myself as that, right? >> greg: in your line of business, you would issue a correction. why can't these people admit they were wrong and issue their own humanitarian correction if you will? >> have they ever admitted they were wrong? this is peak 2022 that someone is canceled not for something that they did but for something that fit someone else's agenda. i think it's pretty clear the agenda is that joe biden is not doing well with the standing voters. he thought this was a perfect situation to frame himself as a savior and the facts didn't line up, but, you know, that was then and this is now and we've moved on i think my favorite thing from this whole saga, though is
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the national association for hispanic journalist issued a statement condemning jill biden's remarks and they ended it with we're not tacos. there you have it. we are not tacos. >> greg: kat, what if i identify as a taco? >> you probably will. >> greg: i will. i have a hard shell. but inside, there's so many spicy ingredients. >> all right. >> greg: a lot of beef. >> all right. all right. all right. no, that little bogada/blossom/breakfast taco mashups is the derangest of attempts i've heard. if i were 50 years younger -- well, you're not. you probably shouldn't type those next set of paragraphs but -- does your wife know you're on here? but it also proves that in reality the bidens are not as woke as they pretend that they
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are, and they just latch onto certain buzz words. they were like, oh, this is called latinx inclusion but there's an x so i'm going to go say i love all of my tacos. if they actually were paying attention to these things and not listening to what other people are telling them to and a do then there wouldn't have been this very strange, i don't know, error. i don't know what they were trying to do so i will just say strange thing. >> greg: i do think that anytime you try to cow plow through diversity, it's embarrassing because you're actually doing the exact opposite of what you're trying to do. yes, i see your difference. you're not supposed to do that. you're not supposed to say that, oh, i get it! you're different. that's why it doesn't work. it makes everybody uncomfortable. all right, we have to move on up next, put up your dukes because here come the nukes. or high blood pressure you're a target for chronic kidney disease.
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♪ start spreading the news, we're all gonna die [sirens] [screeching tires] >> greg: ha-ha. how do you survive a nuclear blast in the city that already smells like ass? true, new yorkers are worried about crime, disease and inflation can now add nuclear radiation. new york city's emergency management department produced a p.s.amount of -- p.s.a. on how to survive a nuclear bomb. that's exactly what i was worrying about with the naked man fondling himself on the r train. i was praying for a nuclear bomb. roll t ricardo. >> there's been a nuclear attack. don't ask me how or why but just
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know that the big one has hit, ok? so what do we do? there are three important steps that i want you to remember. >> greg: don't ask me how or why? well, that's convenient. no back story on why we got nuked? i'll make up my own. biden thought he was pressing the button for the nurse. [laughter] but please tell me the steps, lady dressed like steve jobs. >> step 1, get inside fast. you, your friends, your family get inside, and, no, staying in the car is not an option. you need to get into a building and move away from the windows. step 2, stay inside. close all doors and windows. have a basement? head there. if you don't have one, get as far into the middle of the building as possible.
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>> greg: wow, staying in cars is not an option. what will comedians like jamie do? that's where he lives. or divorced comics, that is. but what if you're outside after the blast? >> if you were outside after the blast, get clean immediately. remove and bag all outer clothing to keep radio active dust or ash away from your body. step 3, stay tuned. follow media for more information. don't forget to sign up for notify nyc for official alerts and updates and don't go outside until officials say it's safe. all right? you've got this. >> greg: you've got this? sorry, honey, this is a nuclear war, not a pilates class. and remove and bag all outer clothing? that's what we do after we visit
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kat's office? so why is new york giving instructions now about a nuclear blast? maybe mayor adams is finally serious about getting criminals off the streets? there's syringe-filled sidewalks and insane asylum subway. the only people getting arrested are those defending themselves against attackers. maybe the city's strategy is to get us all inside and blow everything up which i am against but i do wish the city would put out a psa to help us cope with the real problem. [sirens] >> so your city's been taken over by progressives. it's important for you to understand your life is about to get a lot worse, but there are steps you can take to stay safe. step 1, get inside. progressive crimes in your streets are about to become violent drug-fueled homeless nightmares. step 2, watch out for human excrement.
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it's going to be everywhere. poor city planning, urban decay and lack of law enforcement mean public streets are now public bathrooms. step 3, stay tuned to the media. the media know what is best for your families. the media are better than you. also. don't get too attached to your wallet. you're going to lose a lot of them. you've got this. not my phone, too! [applause] >> greg: lydia, as a new yorker, do you find this helpful at all? this nuclear war prep video? >> i could use a psa for how not to get pushed in front of a train. that might be helpful. my theory on this, there's 325,000 new york city employees and i think they have to do something to justify the taxpayer dollars that go to them and this is very reminiscent to
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me of if you'll remember in covid, the city released a guideline for how to have safe sex while wearing an n95 mask. >> greg: right! that was great! >> this is very much in the genre of things that if people had better things to be doing they wouldn't be doing. >> i disagree. i think the bomb's coming. >> greg: the whole thing about telling to you wear the n93 mask during sex, you have to put it over the other mask? >> yeah. there's a lot of protection they wanted people to have. >> you're not fans of that? >> and the red ball gets in the way. can't hear the safe words. a lot of confusion. >> greg: oh my god, kat! >> yep. >> greg: do you find it helpful? >> no, because i feel like if i'm in the midst of a nuclear bomb attack, i'm not going to remember, like, the video, and
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-- or anything. i'm going to run around screaming i'm going to be someone else's problem, just like in any crisis. >> greg: exactly. i want to be the walking dead. i don't want to be somebody protecting people from the walking dead. >> i just won't be able to. the fact they start with don't ask me how, don't ask me why -- i want to ask why i can't ask why. >> greg: yes. jamie, they just gave us another reason to leave this city, right? it's like -- think about this, what does the subliminal thing is, we only bomb big cities any way. here is another reason to get the hell out of new york and go to austin or go to nashville. this is basically a video telling you to leave. >> it is, like we need more stuff like this to scare us. do we need more stuff? it's like the next video. they're just like, boo! [laughter] you know what, though? i'm so glad i saw this psa, because i memorized all the steps because my old plan if
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there was a nuclear attack was just going to be to be vaporized. [laughter] i'm going to do this instead. >> maybe this is their attempt to finally get rid of all the cockroaches. >> greg: that's true but they'll definitely live. the cockroaches will live. >> i liked step 3. wash all of your clothes. i like how they assumed i would [bleep] my pants. [laughter] >> yeah, but everyone would also do step 4 where you check the mirror to see if it made you ugly. >> greg: that's why you have to embrace it. you have to embrace it. all of a sudden you're hideous. it's like, ok -- >> i'm going back outside! >> greg: i'm going back outside! pillage. finally, i get to pillage. tyrus, what did you -- you couldn't hold it together? >> because i apparently saw a different video than you guys. everything i heard was you got about 15 minutes, whoever is closest to you, get inside and have some fun and you don't even have to do it in the car anymore, you do it on the roof.
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as soon as you get done, get outside and do it again. get as many as you can. they're not going to ask how or why. you have 15 minutes. so let's all just get weird. let's go out -- that's what i took it as. don't ask/don't tell because we're not going to be around any ways so -- >> greg: yeah. yeah. then you have to -- oh, but if you survive, you have to start the whole race all over again. >> we have a good start before the 15th. hope. [indiscernible] >> greg: recycle it. up next, gavin newsom gives florida flack while crime in california is under attack. and vanguard retirement tools and advice can help you get there. that's the value of ownership.
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>> greg: gavin newsom insults the sunshine state but things in cali not so great. true, the slick back sap says florida isn't free but as californians, they can't wait to flee. california governor and redkin conditioner model gavin newsom is running a re-election ad in
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florida urging people to move to his state because he's stupid! but also in the sunshine state, freedom is under attack. >> let's talk about what is going on in america. freedom, it's under attack in your state. your republican leaders are banning books, making it harder to vote, restricting speech in classrooms, even criminalizing women and doctors. i urge all of you living in florida to join the fight or join us in california. >> greg: ugh, of course, that ad has more inaccuracies than jamie's guide to matrimony. freedoms under attack in florida but in california olympians are under attack. saturday, kim glass was almost blinded by a homeless loon who threw a metal pipe in her face. she talked about it in instagram. >> i was in downtown l.a. i had a lunch, as i was leaving lunch, i was outside and i was saying good-bye to a friend,
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and, um, this homeless man ran up. he had something in his hand. before i knew it, a big metal bolt, like pipe, hit me right here and here. it happened so fast. >> greg: that's really horrible, and i wish him a fast recovery, still for l.a., it's shocking it was a metal pipe and not a crack pipe. speaking of crack pipes, from s.f., a video showing school kids getting off of a bus and walk buying drug hole hell. hunter biden is watching it on a loop to find girlfriends. the children had to be escorted off the bus and walked safely passed homeless people and drug addicts living in squalor or as they call it in san francisco, a meeting of the teachers' union! ha-ha. ha-ha. ha-ha! that's a joke! kat? this guy's got some major stones to do that while his state is
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falling apart, right? >> i guess, but i don't think he's the kind of guy who has any self-awareness at all! i think he's doing a great job. he's like, oh, i just almost lost my job. i didn't actually lose my job. and i don't know, he's definitely going to run for president. i think that's why he's doing this. >> greg: really? >> yes! and i don't think it's going to go well. because, i mean, like -- he made places illegal for years. he outlaws places! but -- he outlawed places! except for him. he could go to places. >> he poured sand into a skateboard. who does freaky stuff like that? >> that guy. >> greg: that guy. jamie, i saw your face when the kids were walking by the junkies and you're like, why do the junkies have to put up with all of those brats? >> you know what's a little weird about the video? i feel like if the bus pulled up further t would have been fine
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-- further, it would have been fine. did you see that? there's like enough room to not do that. >> greg: that is true! >> did you see that? >> greg: yeah! >> i feel bad for these kids. i feel bad for these kids. i really feel bad for these kids. i have kids this age. it's sad. when i was a kid, the worst thing that kids went through, they're like, hey, step on a crack and you break your mother's back. here, you step on a crack and you break that guy's crack pipe. am i crazy or is the gavin thing just -- you said it, it's just insane he would run -- why would he run -- unless i'm missing something -- why would he do that to florida? it would be like -- why would he run an ad in florida? it would be like you're on a dating cap and it's just your ex-girlfriend. i can't think of a worst investment than a lap dance. >> greg: tyrus, what are your thoughts? >> again, i keep watching
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different stuff, maybe it's because i wear a lot of hats. i don't know. i feel like he was looking for someone to blame [bleep] on. let's get the floridians over here and blame them for everything. everything was great and then we have floridians show up and we have homeless and crime everywhere so go back and get out and i'll clean up this city, we just need to get rit of the floridians. all the -- get rid of the floridians. all the successful people that gave up their freedoms and dreams -- he was playing patriotic muse ninety-sixth background. i didn't know -- patriotic music in the background. i didn't know if i should wave the american flag -- he was saying all of these things to happy music. >> greg: i was trying to do a parody and he [bleep] up. >> it's newsom. >> greg: lydia, what do you say? >> we need to go back to basics. gavin newsom is focused on teaching sex in schools and critical race theory and you can't even walk down the street
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in san francisco or l.a. or new york without feeling unsafe. i literally got spat on the other day walking home from work. >> kilmeade? he does that. he hates the color yellow. >> oh god, ok. >> greg: it's a common thing. >> look, and i told people, and most people are, oh, i'm sorry that happened to you but there's this resignation in our country, that's new york in 2022. what are you going do about it? >> greg: that's part of what makes thiscy so great, right -- this city so great, right? masturbating junkies? >> maybe one of the 325,000 new york city employees could figure out how to address that issue. i think we need to get back to basics. >> greg: don't hold your breath young lady, mainly because it's not healthy. coming up, will the media ever question hunter's love for the oldest profession? downy will soften your clothes without dyes or perfumes. the towel washed with downy is softer,
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keeping you one step ahead of eczema. hide my skin? not me. and that means long-lasting clearer skin and fast itch relief for adults. with dupixent, you can show more skin with less eczema. hide my skin? not me. serious allergic reactions can occur that can be severe. tell your doctor about new or worsening eye problems such as eye pain or vision changes, including blurred vision, joint aches and pain, or a parasitic infection. don't change or stop asthma medicines without talking to your doctor. when you help heal your skin from within, you can change how your skin looks and feels. and that's the kind of change you notice. talk to your eczema specialist about dupixent, a breakthrough eczema treatment. >> greg: will hunter's happy ending leave to charges pending? appears the smartest guy joe
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knows was disguising payments to hos which means it's time for... sex hour hunter. yeah. he really deserves it. so was papa joe the financial solution for hunter's love of prostitution? hunter biden may face prostitution charges for allegedly transporting escorts across state lines payments disguised from being from medical services. according to a suspicious activity report obtained by the daily mail, medical services. gotta hand it to him, you could argue that persuasively in court. thank you, hunter, this story has me reviewing my health plan. he apparently spent more than $30,000 on hookers over four months and another woman reportedly received nearly $300,000 with no clear
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legitimate economic purpose during that same time period. not clear whether president joe funded any of this or if the money came from hunter's legitimate business dealings that had nothing do with that position as a power for politician and i'm sure no hard drugs were ever on board air force 1 or 2 and if his sarcasm gets any thicker, you could mistake it for hunter's little black book of whores. jamie, if this were any of us, we'd be behind bars. this guy gets like every break. i'm jealous is what i'm saying. >> yeah, i agree. there's no -- like, there -- he recorded everything. >> greg: yes! >> there's pictures and recordings of everything and it was -- did you see it was -- i don't know anything -- i don't know anything about prostitutes legitimately. i don't really know! i read he did for $30,000, he got the girlfriend experience. >> greg: yes. >> the only experience i ever had with a prostitute i don't even recommend, i got the wife experience, it's, um --
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[laughter] -- it's, um -- it's totally different. this lady just bought a $12,000 couch from pottery barn on my credit card and told me i ruined her life. >> greg: ha-ha. it's funny because it's true, in jamie's life. tyrus? >> you have to remember the safe word, man. you have to know when to pull the cord on that one. >> greg: ha-ha. >> i just -- so prostitution is illegal no matter what but if you take them across state lines, well, that's a horse of a different color. no offense to any horses in the audience tonight. he's the last guy to try to bring back the man act. taking women -- white women across the state line for the girlfriend experience? nice. that's what we're calling it now. but then, you know, the $300,000 one, though, what was she -- >> i think she might be the -- the pimptre ss, right?
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>> i think pimp is nonbinary. i don't think there's ever been a female pimp. whoa. whoa. whoa. whoa. whoa. madam pimptress, cave man. cave person. >> if your kid's allowance is $20,000 a week, he's probably getting horse. >> that's true. he's definitely graduated from baseball cards. you know, lydia, i feel like we're all getting, like, jaded by what do you call it? just by -- >> life? >> greg: no, by him. like, we're not actually doing what he's doing but he's made me jaded because i keep hearing everything and i go, wow, ok. oh wow, oh yeah. i guess so. i mean, i saw him in a pool doing things to himself. >> ok, what's so wild is just how brazen -- it's like, i still feel guilty that freshman year in high school i let someone copy my answers for homework and i'm paranoid about that and he's actively archiving everything
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that he's doing. it's not just that he's doing illegal drugs, doing things with prostitutes, he's taking photos of them and sending wires. he's doing all of these things that make it so traceable, it's almost like he's asking to be caught, and he's so arrogant that he either knows he won't be caught or that no one is going to have -- or go after him. he's literally creating a time capsule of elicit activity. >> greg: it's like a living memoir. it's like a living memoir. this'll be a great miniseries and you don't even have to cast the actors. the only cast he has that most of us don't have is he's got no shame. he's incapable of embarrassment. that's a super power. to never be embarrassed. >> i should have let people copy my answers. wow. wow. don't bring these types of degenerates on this family show! i don't like to associate with
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people that have done such horrific things. >> still keeps me up at night, ok? >> and it should, young lady. >> everybody has a hobby. hunter's is expensive. you know, like, prostitution is illegal but i don't think it should be. it's just like a business transaction. i hope everyone had a nice time and got home safe. >> greg: yeah, yeah, that's true. hobbies shouldn't be expensive to the other people around you. and that is what is happening. >> i'm glad it has not my problem. >> greg: it's america's problem. >> other things are. i'm more concerned about the potential corruption on what he wants to do on his private time with his penis and nostril, go ahead. >> greg: after we have the hearings -- we as in america takes back the house -- we're going to have some fun hearings. up next, a new worry to haunt your thoughts being enslaved by robots. i didn't want to feel lie i was wearing the pads i wore when i was twelve. then i tried the always discreet pads.
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they fit perfectly in the places they're supposed to. look how much it holds, and it still stays thin! it's the protection we deserve! [singing] oven roasted cooold cuts cooold cuts so what's going on? i'm a talking dog. the other issue. oh... i'm scratching like crazy. you've got some allergic itch
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with skin inflammation. apoquel can work on that itch in as little as 4 hours, whether it's a new or chronic problem. and apoquel's treated over 11 million dogs. nice. and...the talking dog thing? is it bothering you? no... itching like a dog is bothering me. until dogs can speak for themselves, you have to. when allergic itch is a problem, ask for apoquel. apoquel is for the control of itch associated with allergic dermatitis and the control of atopic dermatitis in dogs. do not use apoquel in dogs less than 12 months old or those with serious infections. apoquel may increase the chances of developing serious infections and may cause existing parasitic skin infestations or pre-existing cancers to worsen. new neoplasias were observed in clinical studies and post-approval. most common side effects are vomiting and diarrhea. feeling better? i'm speechless. thanks for the apoquel. ahh, that's what friends are for. ask your veterinarian for apoquel. next to you, apoquel is a dog's best friend.
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>> greg: we're short on time. here is the story with five words. greg was right all along. tyrus, i said this. i said this new survey finds that robots are predicted to rule the world by the 2016 and humans' only role throb entertain or work for -- role will be to entertain or work for
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the robots. who said that? >> is there a clip? >> greg: no. yes. you've been here. shut up. don't laugh. all right, your 30 seconds is almost up. >> listen, the way things are going right now, the green new deal and how they're going to move everything over to windmills and all of that stuff. the robots will be good until winter but we'll get it all back. >> kat, are you looking forward to this as much as i am? i want to be enslaved by robots. i want to be a very bad boy. >> you plan to live until 2016 -- 2060? i don't plan to live until 2060. >> greg: i'm carving my brain out, precious body fluids. i'll be alive floating around in a little bucket. >> i'll come see you all the time. >> greg: is that your answer? we can move on. >> it's a survey. this is people think robots might rule the world by 2060 how is this a story? >> greg: are you questioning
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my story choice? >> yes. >> greg: you know what? that's it. i don't know what that's it but that's it! congratulations! >> wow, thank you. >> greg: lydia? thoughts? >> i don't think he was doing a very good job. maybe robots will actually be better. and if they're the ruling class, that might mean we can go to the beach and live our best lives. >> i'm manifesting very benevolent, kind robots who let us live our best lives. >> greg: they have no emotions. they'll put a guy to death for murder, right? they won't go, oh, he's out on good behavior. now, the computers and algorithms will all be objective, right, jamie? >> i'm so scared. i do feel like some day i think that tv will sit on the couch and watch us. but it's already happening. it's already happening. the machines are taking over. this girlfriend of mine bought a vibrator a year ago and i haven't heard from her.
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[laughter] >> greg: truly is the girlfriend experience. don't go away. we'll be right back. but there are ways you can repair it. i'm excited about pronamel repair because it penetrates deep into the tooth to help actively repair acid-weakened enamel. i recommend pronamel repair to my patients. "peace of mind." such a big, beautiful idea. and for us at booking.com this means - free cancellation on most bookings. it's a bit functional. but we'll gladly be functional. so you can be free. booking.com booking.yeah
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unless your doctor tells you to. tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection or your asthma worsens. headache and sore throat may occur. ask your doctor about fasenra. >> greg: we're out of time, thank you lydia moynihan, jamie lissow tyrus and kat timpf. thank you to our studio audience and i love you, america! >> shannon: hello and welcome to "fox news @ night." i'm shannon bream in new york. breaking tonight, president biden scheduled to land in israel in just a few hours where it looks like the negative poll numbers are following him. recent knowledge israel shows fewer citizens there trust the biden administration on world affairs than they did during the trump administration. and here at home, it is the first lady dealing with backlash tonight as she apologizes for

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