tv Gutfeld FOX News August 18, 2022 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT
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to me. thanks for being a good sport brian. for the sake of social order, even with these cute orange socks of yours keep your shoes on in public. >> no bare feet on a train, plane. best of luck brian. hope you land on your bare feet. "gutfeld!" is next. [applause] >> happy thursday everyone. but it's really not that happy. first of all we have some sad news forward this show. brian stelter is leaving cnn. apparently he wants to spend more time with his food.
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[laughter]. >> i kid the popping fresh king. i'm going to miss him. how much? well, this much. and the press was so quiet on cnn you could hear his stomach growling. i can't control myself. just like bri stelter. >> anyone thinks boobs are more common in women than men have never seen brian jogging. cut brian slack. he's got a lot on his plate right now. what the hell am i going to do now?
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first chris cuomo. then jeffrey to be in. now stelter. i'm running out of material. if cnn fires don lemon i might have to work for a living. what is stelter going to do next? he could work here. our on camera chemistry was undeniable. >> i want to play a game where i stay in my apartment and i don't pick up the phone and see if anybody will check on me. >> and no one pays the rent. the landlord game after 7 years to one victim. >> that really victim. you guys saw that. i wasn't just dreepg that. wow. moving on to the monologue. as we watch the news chase every trump related story like joy behar hunting for clown wigs, what's being ignored? crime. the numbers in new york city are as staggering as the victims,
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young old black white male female and in new york that could all be one person. one thing we have learned about liberals being in charge, violence is truly inclusive. it's one place where diversity trumps everything even safety. stats are bad. rates up 10 percent. but that doesn't get headlines? the raid on mar-a-lago. list cheney getting blown to bits like she was one of her dad's hunting buddies but taken together these trump centric tales tell you a bigger story that your concerns are not their concerns, especially crime. frankly unless they can try trump to it they don't give to [bleep] about you. hell they don't even give a singular [bleep] about you. corey bush doesn't worry about
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street crime. she bills taxpayers for private security. eric swalwell doesn't worry about the price of gas. he makes his own. america garland agonized for weeks over whether to raid trumps home. i do the same thing before i rifled through bill hemmer's underwear drawer. during those weeks garland didn't agonize over a crime wave so big even kelly slater wouldn't try to ride it out. she's a surfer but no, 12 boxes of papers and napkins is the threat to democracy also you know maybe there's a nuclear code in there right under the box of sports behind trump's old ab roller. i bet ten bucks they'll say the nuclear code is trump's netflix pat word. it's the same with the january 6 commission which focused all
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their antrum attention on one year of criminal mischief. they were king arthur slaying a dragon every day every week except their swords were point at us. what they were missing at this expense, crime, monkeypox, inflation, the hiring of 87,000 irs agents. that's one for every illegal alien that snuck across the southern border this month. you didn't think i forgot open borders did you? who do you think i'm watching, seth [bleep] meyers? but yeah. but yeah we've got 87,000 new irs agents who are ready to shoot to claim if you claim that lap dances are a business deduction. so much for supporting single mothers. [laughter] but this week, reality paid a visit to one person who leather
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trim derangement muscle out voters' concerns, liz cheney who got humiliated so badly even her shadow didn't want to be seen with her. instead of campaigning on the issues that concern wyoming voters like fixing the economy reducing regulations and invading south dakota, no. cheney used her position to chase her inner demons but instead the demons kicked her ass all over the field and that's a lot of kicking. last time someone got beat that badly was when dana caught me putting a clothes pin on one of her dog's nuts. so bad. thank you. [applause] but liz deserved it because she ignored the big issues in order
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to settle a score. she became as single minded as andrew cuomo on take a secretary to lunch week and now we're learning biden reportedly called liz after her defeat. here's how it went down. belle. >> hey liz. look, soar by your loss in the wisconsin primary. once they become a state you can run again. and you know, corn pop lost the three-legged race and he came back to win again. that's why they call them con pop. >> you called the wrong liz. i'm liz warren. >> i didn't call anybody joe. wyoming is going to bounce back. >> lots of great things there.
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the stew. >> sue who? >> no joe, this is liz warren. >> warrant? what do you mean warrant? liz, i got to go. somebody's calling me about a warrant. it's probably hunter. anyway bye-bye. [applause] >> meanwhile, crime is still out of control. i can't tell how many murder i've read about this past month. i'm not even talking about ones kat and ainsley teamed up on several jersey turnpike truck stops. to the media trump is the bloods the crips, isis aids and fox all rolled into one. crime stats don't effect the way evil donald trump touches them. it used to be if it bleeds it
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leads. now if it's trump we will get a bump. call down kat. just like liz there's so much like a scorned teenager stalking they are ex on facebook an twitter. it's a political beef that means more than the actual price of ground beef which is at 50 percent since 2021 which makes me think trump could do us all the huge favor and start committing crime. the sucker punch women in the face, maybe political leaders will do something about these actual crimes bus it's trump doing it. what does that say about the dems? text me your answer at 1-976-asshats. >> he puts the spoke in spokesperson. see you on electric bites at
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gallatin states an crafts. she has the toughest job pretending to be kill meets friends. cohost of friends ainsley air heart. she stays slender, fox news krbter kat timpf! and wnba champion! ainsley, welcome to the show. i apologize for everything i'm about to say. being a criminal, you must be glad that the crime wave never gets any attention. right? >> it's all we talk about. >> yes. >> and all of them have a rap sheet of like a hundred crimes, 41 this morning. we covered a guy. they don't put him behind bars. this is what they wanted.
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they defupd headed billion dollars from our police budge net new york city. they got what they wanted and the results are predictable. >> what do you think of my idea that trump should start committing those types of street crimes? >> you know what? he went get locked up. >> yes. he could do it right in front of me. jason, by the way, have you noticed that new york city is completely overtaken with electric bikes? >> yeah, it's great. they went from zero to hero with covid. i used to gauge the industry coming to new york how many electric bikes could i see. they're every where now. >> how is crime affecting your industry because everybody is getting their [bleep] stolen including their bikes their scooters. jesse waters had his toupee stolen right off his head in broad did i light. it was humiliating. >> people [bleep] you got to find more. i dig it.
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i can't curse next to her. >> you don't have to. >> don't worry about me. >> i'm sorry. with all due respect i thought i was going to be sitting nicks to jimmy fallon. >> do you have any thoughts perception you would like to share about the top sync. >> about the crime? yeah, you need to clean it up. least favorite city to come with my family an used to be my favorite. this is a great city. it's electric. it's got the potential to be great. i feel like it's turning the corner. this story was really about robberies are up and people walking into the wall greens and taking stuff and i think murder is down a little bit. >> yeah, they killed everybody. >> well, it's a good sign. what i can't understand when you do those stories, why is nobody doing anything? if you're a woman see this happen, people punched in the
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face or women thrown down the subway why aren't we doing anything? >> because instead we do this and we film it and we forget like we could put our phone down. do you want to touch some of the people that are fighting? >> i don't care. i would beat somebody down. >> we should have bystander gloves. what happens is there's somebody fighting on the subway platform and you get bystander gloves and put them on and you handle the andless homeless guy. >> we should teach all can i mma. >> you could teach them. >> yes, i teach ass kicking. it's not really a science. all my kids are in a rear naked choke and talk trash when they go to sleep. >> what are your thoughts on
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this? >> my mind was stuck on, why would you do that to a dog. i know your monologue was poignant but i kept trying to figure out what is one excusable sentence for doing that. you went to the store an got a clothes pin. >> it's not true. it was a joke. >> oh, it's true. no one makes that up. anyone who says i need bystander gloves to be a hero. help. help! we are out of bystander gloves. maybe he will finish soon. >> you know, you know what i'm talking about. a lot of people don't want to touch people. >> yeah i never understood that. sometimes presence is enough and that's what we are missing from the police force. it was presence. the reason why criminals didn't do things is because they would
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look over their shoulder and there would be a patrol car. now they see the patrol car as potential opportunity so they go after the police because the police are handcuffed. a lot of times gee sees something happening runs in beats up the sale and. good samaritans are the ones who don't get bail because the guy they beat up checked four boxes so now you're a white supremacist hate crime monster trying to stop somebody from being raped. that's the perception. we don't want to take the risks because we have been allowed to believe the woke stuff. somebody attacks from behind gets arrested and out in three hours you go what's the point? this is why i retired. i spent my whole day fill out paperwork arresting guys and arrest him again and each time i see them they get bolder so the
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only thing that positive in this [bleep] show is it's starting to happen in their neighborhood. it's starting to happen in the mayor's neighborhood and security guards aren't coming to work anymore so maybe now they'll do something about it when it happens to them. >> yeah, you've got to have their policies an commentary come together like what abbott did sending the migrants to new york. kat you're a law and order gal. >> just punch him. >> we have been talking about this now a long time and we talked about how unsafe you felt coming to work. do you feel that's changed at all? >> no. they're getting bolder. what happened last week, i don't think i told you cam was leaving like go to work in the morning and there was a buy peeking and the guy yelled at him and said
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are you trying to look at my [bleep]? how bold is that? that's crazy. >> what did he say? >> i don't know. >> i mean was he? up next. he used to run the cia, but now he's got dumb stuff to say. filthy. ♪♪ allergies don't have to be scary. (screaming) defeat allergy headaches fast with new flonase headache and allergy relief! two pills relieve allergy headache pain? and the congestion that causes it! flonase headache and allergy relief. psst! psst! all good!
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to which hayden replied, i agree and i was the cia director. now, somewhere there's an al queda going how many goats do we need to bank around here? how many more times do i need to get [bleep] before al queda gets respect around here. made than seemed to endorse the execution of trump. hayden thinks half of america is worse than the terrorist he killed. what would he recommend here, take out the rnc with a cluster
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bomb drone strike our nation's golf courses? if republicans are the most dangerous group a former cia director has seen maybe the cia isn't protecting us from real threats. but it backs up what we have been saying for years. if you believe trump was worse than hitler you could break the law to stop him. hence the russian collusion. >> whatever joe biden's corruption is it is tiny compared to the corruption we know trump is involved in. it doesn't even stack up against trump university. trump aufrts a story is worse than anything that would be in hunter biden's laptop. >> yeah, okay. but it's not just harris. here is skull face. >> people believe that the election was stolen and have the right to storm the capitol which
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is a substantial number of people in the republican party are evil. racism is evil. misogyny is eve. >> that was sad. after that he shed his skin and ate a mongoose. >> you always were saying i don't have anything to hide. >> that's not how i sound. >> that's how it sounded to me. >> i appreciate it. thank you. but i've always known i was right. >> oh, good for you. >> thank you. but of course, i mean it's giving people power to be able
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to we will in political ways and especially for them to make these statements without any evidence to back it up. the only thing they pointed to was january 6th but that was like 2000 people. it's not quite a majority of republicans. >> and it's out of the 2,000, perhaps 200 whatever were idiots. probably more. >> i don't know any of them personally. >> i thought they had were all living with you. tyrus, it's crazy. this guy droned terrorists and is saying republicans are worse. >> this is a compliment. what is the safest group to talk trash about and possibly get on tv? republicans. >> exactly. >> you say that stuff to antifa. he's out after job trying to get relevant. all of a sudden hey, guess who
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is the most dangerous person on the planet. g.o.p. then somebody will respond saying it was unfair and unkind. do you have any stats to support that? and he will smile and go that's why you're the most dangerous person there is because you're going to come back with things like that and it's the same thing with the guy who was like, i hate what aboutisms. let's say trump is everything he claims he is. does that make biden's corruption less? he only killed four guys many trump killed eight. you're both murderers that the doesn't excuse what he's doing. that's how they defend anything. but the amazing thing trump has been tried 75,000 times and keeps walking way unskaidzed like the teflon president where they won't put this guy month question because it goes back to the same thing. he's out of work, desperate, g.o.p., hopefully somebody like trump will fire back on him.
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then what happens? he gets on the show. you bring him back and he's got more expert [bleep] and no one is going to hurt him for it. >> bunch of guys in polo shirts and goat shoes. >> it's creepy this guy was cia director and had these feelings. makes you think there was other stuff going on that we didn't know about. >> how much trust can we lose? these two guys for tyrus's point are hanging on. i feel better for them. when they get older and don't have important positions they want to be in the limelight again and say something. unfortunately that's k-rails rhetoric he's got going on and doesn't do anything to help this country and you know, we want to get back to positive stuff. i liked carville. he's kind of a funny guy. >> he's married a republican. >> he says that about republicans but he also tears
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down democrats in this story and regularly. he calls them dufuses or something like that so i like a straight talk guy like him but this went on 30 minutes and i don't think had any of you watched the whole 30 minutes. >> i just watched it the first time. i don't even know who you are. >> nobody does. nobody does. but good for you carville, rock on. nobody cares. >> last words from you, what do you make from this? >> it's a playbook. it's a political climate. we are in midterms a few months wade and two more years we will be hearing this again. this is what they call republicans racist stupid john carville calling us stupid, james carville calling us stupid so i made a list what's stupid. pulling troops out of afghanistan before you pull out the allies many spending billions to hire more irs agents in the middle of inflation an recession. defunding police, why do you
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think crime is up? open borders don't czechoslovakia's cards at the border but djokovic can't play in the u.s. open? that's stupid. closing the keystone pipeline, that's just a few. >> it's all stupid. all right. [applause] . . >> up next, the wolf mob's mighty clout, canceling a movie before it comes back. ♪ here's something, ♪ ♪ here's something you're never gonna fff-forget, baby ♪ get a dozen shrimp for only one dollar with any steak entrée. only at applebee's. >> tech: cracked windshield? with any steak entrée. trust safelite. we'll replace your glass and recalibrate your vehicle's camera, so automatic emergency braking
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[acoustic soul music throughout] [acoustic soul music throughout] matching your job description. [acoustic soul music throughout] [acoustic soul music throughout] [acoustic soul music throughout] the woke street humor like a cancer tumor. all-star weekend shot weeks go not rebel. not on jamie in white face but
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robert downey, jr. here is a picture of downy on set, apparently his character is named mexican stranger which sounds like a sex act or off item at taco bell. he looks so mexican governor abbott wanted to bus him to new york. downy of course famously appeared in black face in tropic thunder. now word if he will don brown face to star in the justin story. jamie foxx danced around the issue. >> when do we see all-star weekend? >> it's been tough with the lay of the land when it comes to comedy, man. you know, we are trying to break open those sensitive corners where people go back to laughing
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again. hopefully we will see them laughing and run them into an all-star weekend because we are definitely going for it. >> you should watch this show. it hasn't got a release date an most likely won't because it would owe fend woke critics. a black guy in white face, white guy in mexican face and pelosi and what she thinks is a face. so, tyrus, what's going on here? do you think this is an excuse for something else? >> no. i mean it's sad jamie faxx is extremely talented. we have to fight. you can't the art out of the message. that's what he is allowing them to do when they're playing characters. nobody is anybody in a movie. you know i hate to tell the guy to played darth vader wasn't james earl joan and wasn't half
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a machine out there so for all the machines out there sorry so we are forgetting it's art and we are allowing woke to make it real that would be would be funny. robert downey, jr. tropic thunder was one of my favorite movies and he played a brother role phenomenally. i literally sound like that after a beer. he did a phenomenal job. never once did i sit there going damn, he's got black face on because i'm enjoying the show and he is an actor and that's the whole point but it's sad that jailsi not taking that risk but i also get it because it's hard to come back. chapelle was able to do what he does because he's self contained. he doesn't need them and i would hope at this point in jamie's career he wouldn't either. >> ainsley, you have a filthy mouth. do you find yourself self
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censoring like these folks do? >> no, i try not to say does words. i'm from the south. i do live in new york. i try to just represent my faith but i love dave chapelle. i watch him all the time. i love jamie foxx. i love chris rock. but i choose to them. i buy netflix because i want to watch it. there's a reason chapelle is number 1. he's braille yant. you have so much experience in come did i. isn't he a genius the way he can make a joke and comes full circle with it. one minute i'm seriously listening to him and agreeing and the next second i'm laughing because he's making fun of my race or my religion or fox news so i love how he comes full circle with it. >> i gather you love dave chapelle? >> i love dave chapelle. he's so smart. >> jason what do you make of
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this situation? >> leave comedy alone. anything goes when it's art and you need to leave it alone especially comedy. we are not laughing anymore. bring back the comedians who just don't care. >> yeah. >> that's the best way. >> you're looking at one right now. >> and you know what? it's phenomenal. >> i do care. i care about america. what are you lack of at kat? >> you love too much. you just try to hard. >> i try too hard to give love. >> you and michael scott. >> that was mean. kat what do you make of this? do you still believe this is about wokism? what if a movie just sucked? it could have just sucked. >> it's more extreme in a situation like this. if there's a character that's gay people are pissed if there's an actor playing that and you
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see how crazy it is because you're great for this role bought you don't bang the right people. that's exactly what you're saying. >> that's true. that's why in hollywood to get to be up for oscars you have to tell them your sexual orientation. that's insane. that means you actually have to ask. >> who do you bank? >> it's the opposite. now the left is like we need to be in your bedroom. >> why do you think top gun is so good? it's okay to be a man. it's okay to be pro-american. it's okay to love the military. it did so well it's off the charts. it's okay to have that testosterone get in planes and go save the country. >> i thought it was fascinating with the scientology. >> you like ambulances too. >> coming up they dance for men with lefty eyes and now they
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>> all right, they wear michigan net it's the an want union rights so their making labor appeals in clear 7 inch heels. speaking of strippers are topless dive bar never heard of it. i've submitted a petition to unionize with the performance union actors equity. true, they want union jobs. their klein tell want -- union president kate explains. for example they both tell their dad they dance for a living but it will be exciting first to pay dues with.
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the nlrb needs to schedule a vote. it's not easy mashing in high heels. take it from me. my advice put their picket signs on long pujols so they can dance around them. i support their efforts to unionize many stripping ain't easy the hours the abuse the ravenous clients all trying to paw at my thong. ultimately i had to stop wearing one. kat it seems like why would you on yonize a job you should only be doing until you go to dental hygiene school? >> i don't know. i think stripping is probably the most difficult job. >> right. >> i could never do it. we have talked about it on the podcast how i would be a terrible stripper because doing a lap dance i would keep asking the guy, are you mad at me?
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and i don't have the upper body strength for the pole. >> that's true. jason what should the benefits should the union be fighting for, like implant coupons? discounts on legitimator? >> i don't know, man. i'm not a big strip club guy. >> you look like your dad. i tell you, ten years ago you were a strip guy. >> nobody says i'm a big strip club guy. >> are you a fan of smaller strip clubs? >> no strip clubs. >> when was the last time you had a strip club? >> it's got to be a couple years, you know. [laughter] >> support the strippers. that's the answer i give. whatever. >> who doesn't? it's a tough life.
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>> it's a living. >> it's an honest day's work. by the way are you doing it on fox an friends tomorrow. >> i'm sure not. i'm sure we won't. no. they're eating breakfast. no. >> they're watching breakfast. that was their nickname. tyrus. unionize? >> oh, man i'm so scared to answer right now. >> you say i'm not a strip club guy. >> i was a big strip club guy. it's nice to see the few did you put through school came back an got everybody unionized because they why doing it to go to school and came back an unionized. i'm all for it.
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unfortunately i think i did have breakfast a few times at the strip club. you keep your head down. >> there was this bodyguard. i worked for a lot of sickos. they always wanted to have their meetings at strip clubs i guess because it's dark an there's no witnesses. so i think unionize is good whatever keeps the women safe. >> amen. >> i agree with the women. i watched a bunch of these interviews and i do agree they're treated horriblely and i'm not a union person. but. >> i feel a lot of guys who show up every wednesday and they're there the twos, threes, turning 20 and hundreds, and in the it's just wednesday. >> the girl, the new owner during covid. do we have time for in.
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>> i got to move in. it's okay. i'm glad you got suddenly interested in the stripping. >> they make them do a lot of things an don't get to keep a lot of their money. >> they don't get to keep a lot of their money but i'm sure a lot of them like me. they kept saying that. >> he was thursday. >> up next, will you be ex-side if you say only women can be with child? i'm sorry. ♪ today, my friend, you did it... ♪ today you took delicious centrum multigummies and took one more step towards taking charge of your health. they're packed with essential nutrients for energy and immunity support. so every day, you can say, ♪ you did it! ♪ with centrum multigummies.
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this is the sound of better breathing. fasenra is an add-on treatment for asthma driven by eosinophils. it helps prevent asthma attacks, improve breathing, and lower use of oral steroids. fasenra is not a rescue medication or for other eosinophilic conditions. fasenra may cause allergic reactions. get help right away if you have swelling of your face, mouth and tongue, or trouble breathing. don't stop your asthma treatments unless your doctor tells you to. tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection or your asthma worsens. headache and sore throat may occur. ask your doctor about fasenra. large out-of-state corporations have set headache and sore throat may occur. their sights on california. they've written prop 27, to allow online sports betting. they tell us it will fund programs for the homeless. but read prop 27's fine print. 90% of profits go to out-of-state corporations, leaving almost nothing for the homeless. no real jobs are created here. but the promise between our state
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>> a.p. style book. it's pregnant people. so jason the a.p. says pregnant women is okay to it's but pregnant people is acceptable for people who don't identify as women. can men get pregnant? >> absolutely not. men are men women are women, stop telling me what to say. >> there you go. [applause] >> do you use the a.p. style book? >> we are out of does words. [laughter] no, it's pregnant woman. no man is getting pregnant. >> yeah. >> so even if they said tomorrow
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tyrus you could be pregnant, how about no? >> kat, how do you feel about this top sync. >> so, i've never been pregnant, not to brag. but if i were, i don't think i would care that much if i was called so much as like the impending human that comes out of you and needs stuff. >> they do need things, those creeps. they're like smaller humans. what's so interesting about babies is of all the human creatures they're the most vulnerable as a baby. do you ever see a giraffe give birth? it falls out gets up an -- and starts walk. a baby comes out it doesn't know what the hell to do. that's why we have long childhood because of the brain matter we have to get the brain growing.
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what do you think? i don't know. ainsley. >> about the giraffe or the a.p. style book? >> a pregnant giraffe male female is it a person? >> when i first heard about i thought no, men cannot get pregnant, no, of course. it's people who are born a biological woman. >> right. >> who have become a man but can still get pregnant. >> just figured this out. >> no, the first time i heard it a year ago when we started talking about this i was like this is nuts, this is crazy but now i get. people are so easily offended. why is this such a big issue? >> you can count it on all fingers an toes. say whatever anybody wants to be called let them do it, but to jason's point don't tell me what to do. >> i agree with you. i respect your decision.
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at ingrezza.com. >> we are out of time! thanks to everyone today! i'm greg gutfeld! [applause] >> hello an welcome to fox news@night on ken in washington with the evil shannon. breaking tonight we could be one step closer doing to what the justice department claims let to the unprecedented raid on the home of former president trump. our legal panel is here to weigh in on that fight and what might be
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