all those procedures have been torn asunder. and all over the vigorous objections from the unanimous and vocal minority. minority rights should be protected. equal justice. >> our prayers are with his wife alice, their children and grandchildren. ♪ ♪ >> gutfeld: yes! all right! where my? here i am. happy tuesday everyone. what a glorious night for news. and yes, you're still a terrorist. i wouldn't be surprised if you're assembling a pipe bomb right now just remove you from

this misery. ♪ ♪ >> i've seen fire and i've seen rain. i've seen sunny days and i thought they'd never end. ♪ ♪ >> gutfeld: this is one of those times when i envy marlee matlin sort of the actual terrorists are smart funny story. after 21 years, which is roughly how long it takes the president to, it appears the pentagon is open to the plea deal with the five masterminds behind 9/11 in exchange for a for life sentences the five will drop all appeals and agreed to substantial sentences in american prisons. or they get to choose what's behind door number two. >> you turned down... >> gutfeld: that's what al qaeda calls a couple of

bodies. and even better, they are. at least that's what they claimed on goat tinder. but what timing. they're making deals with the 9/11 hijackers when we knew we would be distracted with 9/11 rated and then the head of the department of homeland security is creating new terrorists using the 21st anniversary to a great american's with the hijackers. >> the threat landscape has evolved considerably over the last 20 years. we are seeing an emerging threat over the last several years of the domestic violent extremist ideology of hate, antigovernment sentiment, false narratives propagated on online platforms, even personal grievances. >> gutfeld: even personal grievances on lies! do you see what this not bucket just did? he equates the 9/11 attack with online lies and personal grievances.

as you know that's 98.9% of the content that appears online. talk about inflation. terrorism just went from locking down the twin towers to leaving a mean message on yelp. i haven't seen an exaggeration like that since brian williams and hillary clinton where in the special forces. personal grievances is no an emerging threat on par with al qaeda. terrorism, it's not just for terrorists anymore. now it's for people who are mad they didn't get the senior discount at denny's. key demo. better think twice before you call to complain about your neighbors. because that's part of the same spectrum of behavior, especially if you're neighbor has a biden bumper sticker on his previous. you can end up on a terrorist watch list are on the wrong end of a bomb.

>> hello sir. any carry-ons. >> just my dynamite. >> do you promise not to take him on the plane? >> sure. >> security! terrace ticket nine. >> i'm the terrorist here. you know how hard it is to get dynamite when you're on the watch list. >> please take your seat. >> how about a drink voucher? >> i'm on antibiotics. >> it's a daiquiri. >> in that case i'll take two. thank you so much. >> of course. [applause] >> gutfeld: very nice. maybe i'm exaggerating which i've done a million times, a little humor there. but you see what's going on right?

when this had its stomach says the threat landscape has evolved, he's really saying we've gone ahead and widened it. and that's normal if you're brian stelter's taylor and you're talking about his pants. but this is to stoke fear ahead of the midterms. this jerk is putting all these activities under the same umbrella. an insult on twitter can be a stepping stone to flying a plane into a building. but like the president's drool, this kind of threat only flows one way. they don't mind rhetoric when it's coming from unhinged liberals or even violence. the guy who killed the las vegas journalist is still on the payroll. karen bass, democratic candidate for l.a. mayor, lost a pair of guns, nothing to see there.

to the dhs that was just a bad hair day. the victim should've called a social worker but you're worse than all them because of your beliefs. now you're worse than al qaeda. starting to think maybe we shouldn't have given the government these powers to fight terrorism in the first place. these him against the president and another using using them on us. remember this is the same guy who allowed tragic flow of drownings because of border patrol. i'm beginning to think that this asset is employed to make, will look competent. it's not working, but anyway. under his watch we've seen the americans died by hundreds of thousands from fenton old that's coming the border. that weakens the domestic threat or maybe that's his way of winning the war on drugs, let the users die. but if we did the numbers in terms of american doubts?

that would make us many times worse than no stomach al qaeda. a couple of thousand victims every day. you call that homeland security, you pointy eared chrome domed gremlin? what he's doing is a hundred times worse than january 6, but we get it. the justice department has issued 40 subpoenas this week in connection with january 6 and efforts overturn the election. like a fort through an end 95 mask their coming over the border. i don't know why i know that. which sets the stage for more january 6 hearings, which the medium braces for edson distracting power. because when it comes to real issues, democrats suck, crime, the border, they got nothing to run on. except for you. the going to run a new.

you're the issue. you're the problem. and so the hunt is on. in the good old days the bad guy would be a terrace hijacker announced to someone in the red hat. but i guess it's easier than having the fbi playing kidnappings. he die sets corporate culture, he's here! his favorite dating shows forensic files. and jim norton like a handful of kettle corn she's sweet and salty and can be found on the floor of the theater, foxes contributor! finally, his optometrist needs scaffolding. my sidekick!

jim, are you a terrorist? you have one minute to prove me wrong. >> that's an excellent point. i take off my clothes and i frighten people out of the room. domestic terrorism, all right, it's got to be addressed. but let's have an honest conversation. i'd rather have my pilot say let's go brandon then ali akbar. >> gutfeld: that deserves applause. [applause] >> gutfeld: are you guys asleep out there? >> usually things come in for threes. >> boy, do i know that.

>> gutfeld: what you make of the performance on 9/11, it seems wrong to me. >> it's like a 20 a game of ping-pong stomach punk because we did some nasty things on the back of 9/11. that was the republican party, they created a surveillance state. now another bunch of people has used it against our political enemies at home. could be the republican party using it again in eight or ten years but that's the game or playing. >> gutfeld: i like what you're saying, the republicans get power and so were going to do it to them. >> that's what's gonna happen. >> gutfeld: i was being ironic, you audience people! it's like saying i was for the

patriot act before but now it's against me and so i don't like it anymore. it's true. >> turn the tables, if you feel differently, it means you not following principles. >> gutfeld: is mallorca's inspiring violence against trump supporter's and is my raising the issue does that bring violence or the threat of violence against him? >> it could be for any crazy reason to do a violent thing. again i think you're completely right that we should never have given the government those powers. i think it's time to get rid of them, whether it's surveillance or the tsa. i hate flying because the tsa. i know you're going to be like, that's because your bag is full of drugs. that would be original. but it's just that every situation where the scenario is, you have to let me grab your and

i don't have to tell you why, that's gonna make me uncomfortable. >> gutfeld: it's true that we allowed terrorism allow strangers to touch us in public. >> why are you grabbing me th there? >> people actually grab you? >> oh, yeah. >> gutfeld: when my mom was flying, she was in her 80s, she pulled up her shirt. it was humiliating. how can you do that? >> maybe they were just saying, have a good day. i have to keep an eye out for that. you know, he makes a great point about the patriot act, no it's an act against the patriots. it's come full circle. they made the bar so low that the never wrong.

if you say, oh, man, i don't like sleepy joe. you're a terrorist. the bar is not low. when something horrible happens, today i saw a stat about 500,000 getaways this fiscal year. you don't think a few of them are military trained? you don't think a few of them are coming from places who shouldn't be there chris mudge but where targeting people with the red hat saying america needs to be great a bit again. that's the enemy. he'll be happy to tell you what his beliefs are but he's the guy you have to watch out for? that's the problem. we get hit with something, then, you know... [applause] >> gutfeld: it's also like this ever-expanding target. let's say the target is trump and the people who work with trump, if you're friends with

them, if you ever talk to somebody, they could call you and say we have a phone call with you and somebody else. that's the game. see one end up working for trump or anybody in the future because you'll be too terrified. >> also the expansion of language. they're doing it with racism and terrorism. the words just lose their meaning. we actually miss the real ones as a result. >> gutfeld: scooby doo fans put velma on a leash. that's next. ♪ it wasn't me by shaggy ♪

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>> gutfeld: scooby doo? molex could be don't. no, stop it. take that, shakespeare! a cartoon character can't call authorities because it might

offend cartoon minorities. a new video game featuring velma of scooby doo has made some changes after people suggested she was a racist karen for being able to call the cops on black characters. she still gets bonus points though for being a, thankfully. a beautiful. multi-verses is fighting game involving lebron games dominic james from "space jam" to, depot thought it was messed up that velma could call police. here's a clip of her taking down lebron. ♪ ♪ >> you're in big trouble, now. >> victory!

b3 boy my world. i don't know what happened. that was lebron flopping around on the ground trying to draw a foul. i know my sports. i wrote that joke myself because i know sports. as we could have predicted, few people actually complained about this game. it was a petition but only a couple of dozen people signed it. but that's all it takes to scare these castrated companies. apparently this will remove the bad vibes that people of color get when they see a cop car. it replaces the fear with the fear of getting into a van with four weirdos and a talking dog. i don't think we could've ended on a quieter note without joke. i should have announced that kenneth starr passed away and nobody would laugh.

have you been upset by scooby doo? >> have i been upset by scooby doo? i love scooby doo. i did a movie with scooby doo. >> i have a clip. roll it. ♪ ♪ >> time to call yo mama! >> gutfeld: oh, man! [applause] >> gutfeld: helen did you train for that part? >> i did my own stunts for that

one. shout out to aaa. as a black man i could not be more annoyed by the stupid story. who picks her in a fight game? first of all. it has nothing to do with anything. this is what happens. it was one guy, he said the magic word. he said that as a black man he's offended seeing someone arr arrested. she solves the mystery that you did something wrong, makes a wanted sign, then she calls the police. back in the day, that would be a responsible young adult. you see something bad happen, you call the police and they come and investigate. no what they want to happen is that if you see something you don't like, you they call them

mob, they kidnap them and put them in a van and take them a away. these woke cowards once again are attacking the police department. it's pathetic. [applause] >> gutfeld: this is almost like a parallel to the last block in that we have lowered the bar of what's offensive. it's got to offend you because you are offensive. >> i'd rather hear velma say, let's go brandon rather than ali akbar. you brought it on yourselves. if they really want to make velma contemporary she should meet to scooby for putting his nose and her without consent. for years!

>> gutfeld: you know cat, every episode the villain was always a rich old white guy. like old men mcgillicuddy. reverse racism. >> i am too young. >> gutfeld: that's all she heard. >> i don't know. people who sit around playing video games i used to call them losers until i got addicted for a year. i stopped when i got to a five-star island. thanks for the congratulations. it's not that easy. most people only make it to four-star macs at animal crossing people don. even if your hobby is drinking, that's a better hobby.

>> gutfeld: but the rewards diminish. it's even worse when you quit. do you think this is going to solve a lot of major problems? when you're worried about the feelings of a fictional character? in fiction world, everybody's happy now, everybody works. >> the more it reflects on your real life. it's a victimhood culture on steroids. we have to look to a video game for victims because there aren't any left in real life. it does seem a little bit racist as a presupposition that you can call the police on anybody but what were worried about her that she is going to call the police on a black man. for as i can tell, any of these

guys could have the police called them. video games there are victimhood goggles it will as well. not like i wrote a book about anything. >> i'm worried about the fact that shaggy looks like he makes meth in a bag domin bathtub. >> gutfeld: i have a low view of my panel. up next, librarians are a thing of past as their role replacements to leave you agha. to companies who empower people to lift themselves up. it takes funding and building on our know-how to help communities grow. that's how citi is helping create a better future

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your spirit is stronger than your highs and lows. your creativity can outshine any bad day. because you are greater than your bipolar i, and you can help take control of your symptoms - and ask about vraylar. some medicines only treat the lows or highs. once-daily vraylar is proven to treat depressive, acute manic, and mixed episodes of bipolar i in adults. full-spectrum relief for all bipolar i symptoms. elderly dementia patients have increased risk of death or stroke. call your doctor about unusual changes in behavior or suicidal thoughts. antidepressants can increase these in children and young adults. report fever, stiff muscles or confusion which may mean a life-threatening reaction, or uncontrollable muscle movements which may be permanent. high cholesterol and weight gain, and high blood sugar, which can lead to coma or death, may occur. movement dysfunction and restlessness are common side effects. sleepiness and stomach issues are also common.

side effects may not appear for several weeks. you are greater than your bipolar i. ask about vraylar and learn how abbvie could help you save. >> gutfeld: "the new york post," a publication found in manhattan,

not on sturdy piece of timber. what's wrong with you people? i pretty much given up here. libraries have become a hotbed for radical political activism is librarians are becoming more woke. homeless people are doing things they shouldn't do outside. i know, the weather! drag queen story time in content and kids books, it's not about education for kids but about indoctrination. in the librarians can't be hot anymore. this is yet another example of an area of life infiltrated and then poisoned by occult.

librarians see themselves on the front lines of what it takes to bring revolution to the u.s. you need soldiers in the revolution so their teaching kids, that's what dan kleinman wrote in "the new york post." critics call out emily stravinsky, president of the american library association, she talks about white supremacy and imperialism, she calls herself a radical feminist. that's helpful because i thought she was drew carey. this is your real house so to speak. go a little bit deeper into this. this is just a guy complaining that the library has some racy books?

>> people don't go to libraries anymore. that's an analogy for what's going on in our culture more broadly. we have a vacuum, not just in the libraries but in our national identity. we used to care about things like belief in a higher power, belief in a nation, hard work, family. when you lose all of those things, if a black hole of vacuum, something has to fill the void. some new religion is going to fill the void left by the other ones. and now the library is one of the empty voids. >> gutfeld: you wouldn't mind an empty library would you jim? >> jim: or a librarian with lots of body parts, you know. >> i don't care what books they have. when i was a kid all i needed

was the anarchist's cookbook and a pop up version of "mein "mein kampf." >> gutfeld: i don't even know what that means. it's gonna keep me me out of trouble i think. i only went to the library cat because i would go to the health area, that's where they had pictures of naked people. he always knew in the health area they would have the medical sketches and stuff. that's how i learned the birds and the bees. and i learned about dermatological problems that way too. before i guess. if you read about what's in the library, wait till you hear about the internet. i don't understand why it's such a big deal. your kids, if they're telling you about something in the library, or not at the library. nobody hangs out in the library except vagrants.

at least in new york. >> gutfeld: they put the lie in library. >> kat: wow. that's why you're sitting over there >> gutfeld: all good people of left certain industries and the only people left are the ones who can get certain jobs because there woke. >> their checking boxes instead of resumes. when i was a kid and went to the library it was a big deal. you went there and you checked out a book, you got a story, it was a fun place to go. now it's not. it smells like and there's a homeless guy. >> kat: it's all year-end. >> gutfeld: i saw my first puppet show at the library. >> was a puppet show at the library is a little different now. [applause]

>> you know greg. my mother was a librarian. when i was a boy, my mother was a librarian. >> gutfeld: was unexciting as a child which mark >> jim: oh please. you want to get laid, just say your mom's a librarian. the lineup blocks long. i couldn't even get myself out of dues. we had to pay the dues. we would pick up dog things with a stick and put it down the book depository. that's true. i was going to get back but i really didn't. >> gutfeld: coming up, they report the news that's fit to print.

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the office for three days but the rather in their pjs. "new york times" workers fumed when they were ordered to return to the newsroom. it's a paper, cat. they expect their employees to start returning to the office for three days a week starting this week. that's till one day more than the president. red meat. oh sure. i'll take it! but so far over 1300 workers have signed the pledge not to come back. management may not take them seriously because they letter the readers all the time. it's all part of the contract dispute between management and the newspaper skilled. one time sven said people are livid with having to return to the office during the time of

high inflation. especially when they're expected to continue downplaying high inflation. in addition to an 8% pay bump, the union is insisting that all workers who can work with remotely maintain that option. it's not clear how it will be enforced but sources say those who don't show up will be punished by being forced to read "the new york times." i'm just happy they're clapping at that joke, cat. >> kat: must feel good. >> gutfeld: how would you feel about that issue if you didn't have a tv show? >> kat: i just kept thinking, are there apartments bigger than mine? because i can't stay home for that long. i lose it. my outdoor space is like getting on the elevator and standing on the sidewalk.

i get crazy if i stay home too long, i act out, it's not a pretty scene for anyone involved. i guess for them, why do you need to be in the office? i kind of understand what they're talking about there. but three days a week is bad. but where are you living? >> gutfeld: people question things like the never question before. like the commute. all of a sudden you realize you can do it at home and then you're not looking forward to going to work because you don't want to do the commute. >> tyrus: i get it. i commute by plane. so i understand that. but it goes back to the old thing, media has changed. it's not like working to be missing these journalists if they just get the guts to fire him. they get all their information from twitter anyway. most of these journalists don't use sources. it would be one thing if they're

out on the street chasing down stories, they've been all over the country and the turn in their expense reports. instead they get on twitter and choose their top story is based on whichever twitter feed has the most clicks. i'd fire people who don't want to come in and hire the ones who want to come in and have them do their twitter searches and stories from the office. >> gutfeld: almost all media now is about what's trending on twitter. b7 you can find people who have been there for decades. >> tyrus: just don't hire the people who don't show up. >> gutfeld: the times doesn't want to talk about inflation but that's the reason they're using

to explain why the writer should stay home? >> vivek: receiving this and other industries to. engineering firms. coming to see someone on a zoom screen, i could see someone from another country and assume screen. at the end of day, we say, you got to come in. but then you can't outsource to europe and asia because of a time zone issue on zoom. but the work harder for lesser pay. so you can see outsourcing. the irony though is that the very people who will complain about the outsourcing were the people demanding the remote work policy in the first place. i'm a chill writer of course i have a chapter on this in my new book.

>> gutfeld: you have a nice blurb here from douglas murray and jordan peterson and ben shapiro. this quote says, it shows why feedback is almost as great a thinker is got filled. >> gutfeld: wow, some of these blurbs are real downers. if it wasn't for greg gutfeld, i don't know where i would be. interesting. please call me the first chance you get greg if you're reading this. who knew jordan had so many issues. i heard chapter five is kind of a problem. >> vivek: conservative victimhood. >> gutfeld: it exists. jim i almost forgot you're here.

>> jim: oh greg, how could you? >> gutfeld: is it possible to be a comedian remotely? >> jim: i wish tonight it we were. no, there's something about being in the room, there's an energy. you're more creative when you're in the room. it's such a stand up. but the times in order to get their workers back, one of the incentives they offer is was a "new york times" printed lunch box. that's true. and it's perfect if every day for lunch you want to eat a steaming pile of. >> gutfeld: and some people d do. >> jim: some people? you're looking at him. >> gutfeld: up next.

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>> gutfeld: a story in five words.

suburbs suck for singles! so study finds neighborhoods are no fun for child free people. >> i don't enjoy that type of neighborhood because door-to-door solicitations are time-consuming. that's what it was. that joke, i needed to let it breathe. now i got it. >> guspeed to be vic your marri? >> vivek: suburbs of columbus, ohio. married with two kids. i don't mean to go all academic on this but it's what you call lurking variable in the study. people who have more money are happier in the neighborhood. if you're married and you have

kids it tends to correlate to how wealthy you are in the neighborhood. i think that's what's going on here, i don't think it's about whether your married or single. >> gutfeld: your equivocating. ing words i don't understand. you got to stop. not as interesting as jim's joke. i just got a put out there. sorry tyrus. >> tyrus: your calling strikes man. >> gutfeld: he gives the facts. not a joke. not good. >> tyrus: you want me to believe a man who is single owns his own home, he can go where he wants, he's unhappy?

as opposed to the married guy with 3.5 kids, a know-it-all wife, the bad car. >> gutfeld: they're turning on you in the audience right now! >> tyrus: no, some guy who is in trouble with his wife he wrote the article. you got to be home at six and single guys are out to whenever chris mark come. >> gutfeld: the neighbors want to come to your house because you've got the cool stuff and you've got all the booze. >> tyrus: the guy water is just one part of his yard in front of the bedroom because he's so happy. >> jim: i got yelled at for watering the lawn one time. they said, what are you doing? you're not using a hose! >> gutfeld: do you see

yourself living in the burbs cat? >> kat: i've always lived in cities, then two years ago we were talking about getting a dog and i said i don't know if i'm ready. all my friends are living in suburbs, six years prior to that. they start having all these on purpose kids. it was weird. they call me in the sand pregnant. my first thought is, what you gonna do? oh, yeah, that's what you're gonna do. you doing it on purpose. maybe i'll have a kid sometime. after my cat dies. >> gutfeld: experts say that when you lose a pet, replace it with a living child. that's true. it works a hundred percent the time. >> kat: plus my cats name is gender-neutral! speed to the best thing you can do is tell a child that he replaced a cat.

>> tyrus: nothing saves a marriage better than having a baby, right? >> gutfeld: were going to go now. we're taking dark turn.

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