>> luckily the turtle is not severely hurt, he's in the care of a turtle hospital. they are naming him what else? even. that's how fox reports this saturday october 1 of 2022. i am jon scott, thanks for joining us. see you tomorrow. gutfeld is up next. ♪ coverage of hurricane ian on fox news. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> greg: that makes sense. happy thursday everyone. when i was a kid we had a few things we were scared of. the british army, tuberculos tuberculosis -- i kid, i'm not that old. we all had the same fears, there

was the boogie man hiding in your closet under your bed to. you never really knew what he looked like what you it was th this. [laughter] i had a really wide closet. there was the threat of nuclear war, kidnappers who kept the back of milk cartons filled with interesting breakfast reading material. great white sharks, quicksand, remember quicksand? we would be busy looking out for quicksand and then we get hit by a drunk driver. [laughter] also there were cults like the manson family and they were not much of a family. i'm glad i got out of that ear early. at his eight fears, some are not real others mostly overblown. i envy the kids today not just because they are taller, they just have much more to be scared

of. there is this, and this. and this. and this. but worse, the streets were filled with nightmarish characters that would make freddy krueger call on huber instead of walking the four blocks home. there's a mentally ill and criminally deranged to roam the streets, thank god for that or we would have no live audience members tonight. that is a jab at you guys. there's also junkies laying right in your path. it's awkward when they ask for autographs especially when i once dated them. you have homeless using your stoop as a bathroom and they never, ever clean up. plus they give lousy directions. never ask i did once and chris wallace threw up all over me.

hollywood concocts pointless dystopian like handmaid's tale we are living the real thing. save yourself some money and cancel netflix go for a walk after dark you will become the main character in part of a murder mystery by 11:00 p.m. according to "the new york post" of the paper owned by our parent company, new york city kids are now in therapy due to a constant state of panic. just what nyc needs a whole generation of woody allens. the fear is rational, the homeless, crime, drugs, anthony weiner. still here, that is just inside the sandbox at pre-k. in nyc children are being traumatized by real horrors that leave permanent scars. funneling thousands of the homeless into city hotels and not just motel 6. unprovoked crimes have exploded, not to mention room service is

impossible to get in under two hours. try to order that meth? old man. at estate bill reform which released tons of vile thugs, the only people left in america's jails are those who stole office supplies on january 6th. we decriminalized sidewalk camping, hand handling and shooting up in public. the result? a liberal's dream come true. we are all equal and abject misery. major crimes are up all over, robberies are up 57%. there have been ten murders alone so far in just three precincts this year. doubled the number during the same period last year and they happened when cat was out of town and we can't blame her. according to human resources we can't blame her although one of the bodies was covered up under a pile of hair extensions. in the old days if you wanted to

see the show the full monty used to buy tickets for broadway. now you get the full monty from the three homeless guys in front of our building. city parents are sending their kids to therapists because it takes a professional to say how does seeing a naked man harass you make you feel? at least they are doing something, really they should do more. why don't you just leave? is that the right thing to do? i get it, we love our kids but not if it means giving up our season tickets to the metropolitan opera or missing the gay pride parade every year. what kind of rooms do you take us for? i question their judgment but they already vote democrat. it's easy for me to say i got no kids but you can no longer relaxed thinking it's just a thought on subprime. it's russian roulette for all of us, we are all in the barrel. kids get to see the boogie man every day on the way to class, on the subway. i understand soldiers coming

home from war suffering ptsd from what they saw but fourth and fifth graders coming home from school. some families are smartly leaving them according to a recent head count they saw 10% drop in kids under five trend since 2019 and not all of that can be attributed to erectile dysfunction caused by lizzo. but someone to pointed out. public school enrollment has dropped by 73,000 since the pandemic. who knows, they may finally learn something? more and more it's women who become the victims, a recent one was a young mother of five who was brutally beaten by a transient freak. talk about a change in society used to be women and children first when it came to avoiding suffering. now it's get them to the front lines. i guess you could say that's the only equity democrats have actually delivered.

let's welcome tonight's guests! she's never depressed because she's always looking up, cohost of america's newsroom and the five, dana perino. [applause] he's the star of the new comedy special don't quit your day job, actor, writer, comedian jamie lissow! [applause] her laugh doubles as a hyenas mating call, fox news contributor kat timpf. [cheers and applause] and he uses a parking meter as a q-tip, my massive sidekick and world n.w.a. champion tyrus! [cheers and applause] welcome back. >> good to be here. >> i wouldn't presume that yet.

assuming your kids still speak to you would you ever move here with children if you had a great career change? if we were to offer you an amazing gig for zillions of dollars. >> for zillions i would do it. i didn't even know that was real. i would not move here with my kids, it's frightening. to win the morning last night i was at the hotel i wanted to go for a walk and i left my hotel and immediately went back inside to. this is dangerous! what is going on in new york? i get a lot of it is happening in hell's kitchen -- it is called's kitchen. you can't be surprised. can you believe what's happening in satan's hole? i just can't believe it. [laughter] some of the homeless people i enjoy more than others, i like one with the talent. i saw this guy being a statue, not moving at all and he's

making all this money for not moving. i walked about half mile down the road and there was another homeless guy jumping up and down, shaking a cop an end i was like if you just hold still -- [laughter] you are working way too hard. i don't think i would move here with my kids right now. >> greg: there you go. tyrus, what kind of advice would you give -- let's say you had to live here, what advice would you give your kids? >> i would start with the parents, we have to parent up. you have to get off your phone, be vigilant, have conversations with your kids, sit them down, i grew up in a rough neighborhood. i knew what to do when somebody bad came around. what is happening is we are hearing my child -- what are you doing about it? not all of us can leave. some of us have to bear with it in the best way to do that is by having tough conversations about your kids about life lessons.

if he described him as the boogie man and you don't know where he comes from and the kids don't quite get it -- if you sit them down it's tough to tell an 8-year-old that this is what happens with substance abuse and this is what happens when people don't take care of themselves. it's going to be but why, can't we give them a hug to? and you have to explain to them because of had these conversations it's not fun and you have to keep bringing it up and you have to practice, practice with my kids all the time what to do if a stranger comes up to you and one of the rules we live by is -- scientifically, and kidnappers usually like innocent children. my kids if somebody walks up to them they don't know they will be like what do you want to do? [laughter] we practice this. unfortunately, sometimes it goes a little awry. my daughter i got her a phone because i'm a face time dad, all my kids have phones we do face

time to do homework and stuff. she got a random message from at&t welcoming her to her new phone. the operator who sent the message got [bleep] don't you ever call my phone again i'm going to kill you. after i explained it to her mom in the court they were good with it. you got to educate your kids. >> greg: that explains a lot of the responses to me when i'm in the green room. >> yes. [laughter] >> greg: this leads to a very interesting observation or epiphany if you will. children in a weird way they are like liberals it in the sense they have empathy without wisdom. when you're walking down the street with a kid and the kid says why didn't you that man money? he has a little dog and you're like because the money isn't going to the little dog, it goes to -- it goes inside his arm and that he gets really high and then he steals things. children in a weird way they are

not there yet. they don't know what's going on. do you ever worry about this happening to your dog? >> i do worry about one of them attacking percy. i think one of the things is people have to start living in the real world. the new york that you loved, the new york that you grew up with or the new york you moved here for during the rudy giuliani years, that new york is no longer here. there is this wishful thinking that you think it's going to get better. i don't see how it gets better i'm usually a pretty optimistic person. >> greg: you made a book called things are going to be okay! [laughter] >> unless you go to new york. >> everything will be okay if you make smart decisions. one of the decisions people are having to make is -- they can't all leave. what can you do to take the

innocence of your children that you love but make sure they are also going to be safe. the violence is so random, it's random everywhere. i am a little bit nervous not so much for percy but sometimes you think if you have a dog you will be safer, there is that. i think i would be a lot more safe if tyrus can teach me how to say that like your daughter says that. >> i got you. >> greg: don't pretend like you don't swear we have film proof of that which i would call up an hour but i don't have it on hand. >> it's allin presentation. i got your. >> i can't even begin to say it. >> greg: we are both lucky being small, usually a lot of the homeless people are taller than me. they look right past me. it's one of those great things. >> homeless people there like who is the biggest guy? >> if that was the case i would come in to work go when you

would not believe what happened. >> greg: you walked quite away from the west side over. do you think the city is irretrievable. that is the most pessimistic thing i've ever heard from dana. >> i think probably, we all still live here. why do you live here? we all do. >> greg: we have to work here. >> sometimes they are mean. the pandemic you remember when all there was to do was walk? my husband and i were walking around and some homeless guy started shouting at him -- it was the pandemic i looked really bad and we all looked ugly then. he started shouting like i bet you wish you knew ten years ago she would like this ten years later. [laughter] i was like i'm only 32! 31 -- i forget to. those were some tough times. i went home and i took a shower

go that actually helps. >> greg: i think that is a positive reaction from a homeless person. >> i should've given him money, i wonder if he's still alive. >> you made me think homeless guy with a dog, you have to feel bad for that dog. are we go again soon? [laughter] it's true. >> greg: up next -- in dog years that is 21 weeks. math is fun. mental prowess takes a dive when he confuses who is dead and alive. psoriasis really messes with you. try. hope. fail. no one should suffer like that. i started cosentyx®. five years clear. real people with psoriasis look and feel better with cosentyx.

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>> greg: what's the question that all the dems dread to. did you hear what the president said? [laughter] it's another case where joseph breen has farted this time all over the dearly departed. take that dr. seuss. during a white house conference on hunger, nutrition, and health, i'm for all three. joe biden thanks several lawmakers who sponsored legislation pushing the event. among them indiana congressman jackie walorski. the only problem is she died last month. maybe someone should have reminded joe. >> i want to thank all of you here including bipartisan, senator booker, representative jackie, are you here?

i don't think -- to help make this a reality. >> greg: unless you have a ouija board, she's not talking. who knows? may be joe is not alive either. like in the sixth sense he sees dead people. which could explain why he keeps shaking hands with ghosts. [laughter] but maybe we cut him some slack. it's easy to forget someone has died, i forgot dan rather was alive. press secretary karine jean-pierre spins at. >> naming congressional champions and was acknowledging her incredible work. he had already planned to welcome the congresswoman's family the white house on friday, she was on his mind, she

was top of mind for the president. >> where is jackie, she must not be here? >> totally understand i just explained she was on top of mi mind. >> greg: that's the thing, it was on top of the mind, not in the mind. like his book, no one is buying at periods pick on trying to get my head around the response, if late congresswoman is top of mind and her family was expected to be here and that's what he was thinking about, why was he looking for her? >> again, i think people can understand, i think the american people out there who watch the briefing from time to time at this moment will understand when someone is at top of mind, she was on top of mind, i don't think it's all that unusual. >> greg: oh, my god, -- he was

looking for a dead person! by the way, you want to know the upside of all of this? be happy he was 14 rows back at queen elizabeth's funeral or else she wa he would've asked fr autograph. what say you? >> she was at the top my mind. people who died are at the top of my mind. teddy sniffing glue he was 12 years old, fell from the roof. kathy was 11 when she pulled the plug, 26 reds and a bottle of wine, these are people who died. died. they were all my friends. and they all died. >> greg: nice! [cheers and applause] a little jim carroll.

did a brief joe biden and he forgot? or did they just not brief them at all? what happened? >> i don't know, i don't know what they did before hand. i heard there was going to be some video but they didn't end up playing it. it's possible somebody on the way in was like don't forget mr. president that the congresswoman delayed congress when she died it we put out a statement your name was on it, you signed it, you know that she died. it's possible that it got into his mind somehow. i don't understand why the white house doesn't jump on this grenade immediately and instead goes back to the white house and tries this fiction that makes everything worse. instead of just saying absolutely, misspoke, that was a mistake and the president called the late congresswoman's husband just to make sure that the family is doing all right and they're going to stay in touch, the kids are doing better.

these are all the things that you could do, also you don't have to say what they tell you to say at the press briefing. you don't have to say it come you can protect your reputation by saying i'm not saying that, i'm not going to say top of mind unless it's something she came up with and i don't know how the reporters in the room -- i know they didn't believe her and they shouldn't have but i can't believe -- if this would have been trump they all would have stood up and walked out to. >> greg: i think he did call the husband after her and say did you know your wife was dead? completely terrible. wow! >> i'm going to come out and say it, this is oil cancer 2.0. it is! saying i'm thinking about jackie is not the same as saying where is jackie? that's like saying i'm thinking about cancer is not the same

thing as saying i have cancer. why didn't they just say he misspoke? we can all see it and hear it on the video where he is like where is she, it's video. videos have been around for a while, even longer than joe biden, that's how long we've had videos. it's insulting, it's a really common thing. i know what it's like -- i think about my mom, you know what i don't do? i'm not like where are you, i know why she's not here! >> greg: i think there is an assumption that their feet are going to be held to the fire. she doesn't even try in these pressers. [laughter] >> we know who he's shaking hands with now.

rest her soul. top of mind. sometimes you have a really good idea in a meeting what we do? come up with a cool catchphrase, top of mind. unfortunately that was not it. that's up there with let's get after it, that didn't work out too well either. lost his mind, doesn't know where he's at, the pill wore off. naptime is usually during this time. it wasn't -- he looked for her, even if you changed it, he made it like she didn't show up to her own events. he probably talked about it on his way back. don't run the tribute, they are done with her. mr. president -- she's dead wrong because she wasn't here.

>> i want an answer to your question, -- >> you could've told him six seconds before he went on it was after applesauce time. >> greg: it's like reminding people to put on your pants which we have to do with you often. you sometimes you forget that your career is dead. >> you couldn't let it go. >> just this afternoon i was like career -- hello? she was saying top of mind like it's something people say. >> greg: you know, top of mind. >> everybody understands -- we don't understand, none of us understand. that made me angrier. the biden thing is starting to get sad for me, this is the worst one ever but does she think people are stupid?

you can't just -- just say you screwed up. say he screwed up and move on because you're making it so much worse. the press secretary should literally be called the [bleep] artist, its total [bleep]. >> she missed read it, she was supposed to say she was on the top of his mind but she misread it and said top of mind. it was a double mess up, she just forgot to. >> no matter -- she would spin it into something. she would be like he's trying to save time by not going to the bathroom. >> because bathroom was top of mind. >> that actually makes more sense. >> don't treat that so unseriously. you can save a lot of time especially if you are in a hurry or you are driving. not me of course. up next when storm

>> greg: a natural disaster shows their stupidity faster. with the storm still forming, the media blames global warming. which means it's time for -- ♪ ♪ hurricane of stupidity! hurricane ian -- what a name touched down yesterday devastating florida and leaving millions without power. our thoughts are with those affected by this storm including this fellow wherever he landed. [laughter] let us turn to the medias asinine coverage of the storm, here is msnbc host joy reid playing the hurricane on global warming. >> these things are thriving

because the water is getting warmer two we stopped calling it global warming for political reasons but that's what it is. our earth is getting warmer and there is no doubt left that it is feeding these beasts. >> greg: feeding these beasts. that's also known as lunchtime at the view. [laughter] [applause] it gets applause! thank you, the view. joy behar went after florida governor ron desantis spewing more venom than a bulimic rattlesnake. >> this is the quote from governor desantis about climate change. "i am not in the pews of the church of the global warming leftists." this is what he thinks about climate change and now his status getting hit with one of the worst hurricanes. >> greg: she should know does anyone remember that time she got carried away by hurricane sandy? take a look.

[laughter] [applause] thank you. [cheers and applause] thank you. that was pretty good to. we are running out of time and i don't know where else to go. here is bill weir. >> this is exactly what climate scientists have been warning about a know we get to see it up close. >> what do you mean, your stupidity? cnn's don lemon also tried to make the immediately for climate change and was shot down faster than jamie lissow hitting on a woman with decent eyesight. here he is talking with the acting director of the national

hurricane center. >> can you tell us what this is and what affect climate change has on this phenomenon? >> we can come back and talk about climate change at a later time, i want to focus on the here and now. >> greg: i haven't seen a rejection like that since jamie tried eharmony. he had doubled down on the stupid of course. >> i'm just trying to get -- you said you want to talk about climate change but what affect does climate change have on this phenomenon that is happening now because it seems these stores are intensifying -- that is the question. >> i don't think you can link climate change any one of event. on the cumulative, climate change may be making storms worse. but to link it to any one event -- i would caution against that. >> i grew up there and these storms are intensifying, something is causing them to intensify. >> greg: it could be your

stupidity. let's turn to izzy cook was nothing to do with this segment except she's a 16-year-old environmental activists who recent interview went viral after she condemned vacation air travel to exotic locations like fiji which is a country, not just a bottle of water. take a listen. >> we would have to apply to have approved events to be able to fly. >> that's one thing you can look at doing. >> am i allowed to go to fiji, is that necessary? >> in the current climate crisis i don't think that's necessary. >> one was the last time you were on a plane. >> i'm not sure, a few months ago. >> where did you go? >> fiji. >> [laughter] >> greg: we don't have a lot of time but that was so worth it. what is your take?

>> she was -- she has a kid to. that's why i never say bad things about private jets and never go on them but the only reason is i don't have enough money and no one has ever invited me. i want to make sure one day when i'm rich or if anyone wants to invite me, i will go -- i don't care who you are. [laughter] >> greg: expect a call. >> in the article they are, the best thing to me in that story is at the end, her mom says who are you talking to? and she doesn't get mad -- she gets mad at the interviewer for being rude to her daughter. >> greg: you do your homework, i didn't listen to the whole thing. >> you talked about my dating a little bit. i accept all of that. tender last night i matched with a pizza. [laughter] i just want to tell people,

sometimes off-camera i do not have good eyesight, that's why do that sometimes, i was one to say that. i went to lenscrafters glasses and i gave my prescription and i go do you guys think you can make these glasses in less than an hour and the lady goes we won't even be done making fun of you in less than an hour. this isn't even lenscrafters, it's a deli. >> greg: tyrus? funny, last word. >> live by the water, storms and the water. enough said. you're going to get a storm, it doesn't matter. people want to live wherever they want to live and they forget mother nature might have something to say about it. >> government subsidizes people living there. >> greg: they went from 600,000 -- to 10 million. >> greg: 600,000 to make 10 million homes from 1940 until now and it has been moving out

like that. we don't want anyone houses destroyed their cow >> you run a risk when you live by the water because water has storms. >> there you go. is not that complicated. >> greg: coming up, would you superimpose your face on a digital space?

>> greg: they are going to make bruce immortal like zeus. bruce willis the actor may have retired earlier this year to a debilitating illness but that doesn't mean you won't see him in movies. his image will not die hard. >> that was great, greg. >> thank you, whoever you are. the digital bruce made his debut in august 2021, a commercial for a russian telecoms company,

digitally grafted his face created by computer software onto a real human understudy. he sold his likeness to nai company which created a digital twin of the actor. don't laugh, it's the same way pete buttigieg pretends to work at the transportation departm department. they would have to find understudy your size if they were to do that. if you got paid now -- then you would die in 30, 40, 50 years, would you take the money? >> why would i not? i'm not going to be here. one less thing i got to do. i get a check for it? sign me up. i will do one now here. >> greg: i love this idea. in a way, it's kind of a reverse mortgage for your career. [laughter] >> there's never been a better time.

the way your career looks, maybe it'you might not get famous. >> can you imagine you are in a movie and you take a girl to go see the movie and i'm like i should tell you, it's not my face. it's someone else's face in the movie? starring in a movie but these poor young actors -- sorry you didn't get the roll, we are going with this digital face we made. >> greg: did that happen to army hammer and a social network? he played the lingelbach's twins, right? and my having an episode? >> i think you're correct. >> then they put his face on somebody else's face -- i think i'm right. would this change how you felt watching the movie if you knew that wasn't bruce willis but it was his face? >> i think over time it means we will have to pay less attention

to hollywood celebrities. when jennifer lawrence wants to tell us what her opinion on gun control is we can ignore that. this is a great way for brian kilmeade to be on 24/7. [laughter] >> greg: yes! the man cannot say no to anything. this seems like a perfect thing you can do. >> it would be the same, i'm going to have to sit with my original plan. >> which is? >> to have him cremated and tattooed on my body. it's my cat, my body, my decision. >> i respect your decision. >> the more people tell me not to do it the more sure i am. he just went to the cardiologist yesterday except for when my dad i told him what i was doing and he left for five straight minutes. >> greg: up next

>> a story in five words. ♪ ♪ >> greg: a story in five words, woman eats a live crab. jamie, they pour spices and alcohol over the dish to season it and then people eat this and make tiktok videos. would you do this? >> this makes me so uncomfortable and she's at a

restaurant. why don't you go to a beach? >> greg: yes! >> cut out the middleman. >> greg: avoiding the sand. >> i hate listening to people need to and doubly mad. better to eat live crabs than to get crabs. [applause] but i also think somebody should make a tiktok about the invention called fire. which allows you to cook things before you eat them. >> greg: yes, -- >> i think i'd rather get crabs. [laughter] >> what? >> i can't be the only one. >> greg: there's only three or four directions i can go with this and each one has human resources all over it. >> i don't think they watch the show. >> greg: all right, is there

anything you would eat that is still alive? >> no, i would like my food to already be dead. it's be too much like your soul. >> no, no, i've done my moments of spike in life. people are saying it's insensitive to say it's gross because it's another culture. i hate things from some things in this culture and how long football season is. i'm allowed to say this is disgusting. >> it is long. >> i did not see dana perino talking about crabs. >> greg: another that i appeared >> i just want to say for the boys at one time that was like a badge of audra. got crabs, jo. but it was a stupid time. was like a badge of audra. i'm not surprised that woman eat crabs, they each men's hearts all the time. they will eat it right in front of you with your friends and you will stay like so i'm not surprised. >> greg: i think china is to

poison america first you've got tide pods and crab legs. >> nyquil in the chicken. >> greg: they are genius are getting americans to do really stupid stuff. >> i hope she didn't talk to the credible she ate it. they tell you why. >> greg: that's really marriage. by the way, this is an different than yogurt. >> this is far different. it's a lot different. >> the yogurt doesn't care to kick and squirm. much like a husband. >> greg: we've got to move on. we'll be right back. musical music

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announcer: you may pay as little as $25 for a 3-month prescription. >> greg: where out of time, thank you to our studio audien audience, "fox news @ night" with okay mike emanuel is next. i'm greg gut brian: i see that animation and i am reminded, it's saturday night and that means "one nation" what a headline. dr. mehmet oz closing the gap in pennsylvania. if he does not win, the republicans can't win the senate. let's do something i swore i wouldn't do. i am going to do a